Is it better to graduate at 17 or 18?

[Alaska Mom]

....or to put it another way, better to start K at 5 or 6?

 

To say it doesn't matter because I home school is not something I need to hear (it does matter and that's why I'm seeking input on the question :)).

 

My dd6 (just finished first grade) has a late August birthday, so I started her in K as a just-turned 5 yo. - she will then presumably graduate at 17. It seems that most parents in ps with cutoff kids are electing to wait now until they are 6 to start K.

 

I'm a one-year-at-a-time home schooler, so I can't predict how far I'll go, but I'm leaning towards SOME public in high school years.

 

In the event she ever goes to ps, I'm not sure I want her to be the youngest in her class, and I've had it suggested to me (actually by a highly respected fellow homeschool mom) that I consider calling her a first grader (again) for a second year and get her into the position (now rather than later) where she will graduate at 18 (as oldest in class vs. youngest). This fellow mom has a dd who just graduated at 17 and is leaving on a full-ride scholarship (obviously did well). She said she regretted starting her early for a variety of reasons and was strongly opinionated on this topic and her advice for me.

[orangearrow]

I graduated at 17 and did well in school, always near the top of my class - my age was never an issue. I typically didn't hang out with my peers anyway (most of my friends were older).

 

For my own kids - if it were my daughters, I would start them so that they graduate at 17 - for my son, I'd hold him back so that he would be 18. I think it would be harder to be the "youngest boy" in a high school class vs. being the "youngest girl." But, that could just be me. :D

 

To be honest, I haven't really calculated how old my kids will be when they graduate! lol hmmmm.... :lurk5: Might have to stop and think about that now... :lol:

[Linda (Australia)]

Well, I guess I'm literally a 'world away' - and I'm sure things are different here in Australia, but, my children will graduate around 18 - all of my girls have benefited by not being pushed too early. My 7 year old is just beginning to grasp reading now - and I'm glad, it has given her time to just be the cute little thing she is!

 

I begn my oldest 'on time' - spending hour after hour on phonics and maths - we had nothing but tears and endless frustration - she simply wasn't ready.

 

It really depends on the child - my son was a different story - he taught himself to read at five! Anyone who says to me that boys progress more slowly than girls doesn't know my boy! He trumps all the girls when it comes to school.

 

So overall, I vote for leaving formal education until a bit later, but as I say, it depends on the child - if they are ready to go and are keen - don't hold them back.

[Laura Corin]

Calvin is working at a high school level in some subjects and is at least at grade level in all the others. I hope he won't graduate early: there's so much to learn in the next few years, academically and socially. I know that some people go off to university early and do just fine, but a little extra maturity is often helpful.

 

On a practical level, much of UK university life revolves around the bar, and one isn't legal to drink until 18 (few students have cars, so I'm not worried about the danger of it).

 

Laura

[Pamela H in Texas]

It depends on the kiddo....Some kids SHOULD graduate at 17 (or even 16 or 14!). Some kids should graduate at 18 or 19.

 

GENERALLY, after having gone so far with my kids (one graduated and one going into high school), I would say to opt for using the age as of June 1st (for certain kids, maybe knock that back to April 1st) as the official grade level.

 

Then you can teach to whatever level kiddo needs in each subject as if it doesn't matter.

 

And you can adjust when it's more reasonable to do so if necessary. A grade skip, early graduation, etc make more sense to officially do with a teenager. The opposite works also. My son made HUGE strides about 7th grade. We had officially held him back once and unofficially a second time (and his level was even LOWER), but it worked out about 7th grade....would have just made more sense to pick a grade level when he was 6 and gone from there.

[Testimony]

Just to share a story with you, I know a girl who was homeschooled and went to community college at 16 years old. By the time she completed community college, she was 18 years old. She went on to a four year university and go her college degree and teacher's certificate at 20 years old. In my area, not a lot of schools would take someone so young as a teacher. She decided to work as a teacher's aide. She did that for a few years until she got a full time teacher's position.

 

I think that a child graduating early is fine, but how about maturity level and dealing with the real world. I thought about this years ago. I have seen on the news children who are prodigies. Wonderful, but what happens to them? How are they functioning in society? Many places won't hire a child. So, how do they get a job?

 

Just a thought!

 

Blessings,

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony

[Haiku]

I have a summer birthday and was always one of the youngest in the class. I had a 3.9 GPA, so it didn't hurt me. In fact, I graduated mid-year and went off to community college at 17, and went off to university at just-barely-turned-18 with two quarters of college under my belt. I did quite well in university and have always appreciated the head-start I got.

 

I think first grade is too soon to worry about when your child will graduate. You have at least 11 years to tweak things. You don't know what your child will be like as a teenager or how she will progress academically.

 

I would use your area's public school guidelines to determine what grade your child is in, especially if you plan to send your child to school.

 

Tara

[dsacco]

I graduated when I was 17..... that wasn't a big deal.

 

My son may graduate early - but not by much.....and I'd probably so the community college route. He says he wants to be an air traffic controller like his dad - but we'll see.

 

Now my daughter started PS K when she was 5 - honestly it was because she needed speech therapy and they wouldn't give it to her unless it was hindering her education. We had her repeat 1st grade when we moved and it was ok.... but academically she is now pushing ahead which I find interesting. I know I did the right thing for her because of the speech therapy.... but if we hadn't moved, she would have been labeled LD and would've kept moving up because of "No Child Left Behind"

[FO4UR]

I wouldn't base your decisions on one friend's comment - take to heart her reasoning, but your child is not her child...your home is not her home, etc,e tc... I'm guessing she regrets her 17yo leaving her home, and it has little to do with academics......just my guess.

 

For things like church or sports, my kids will be labeled with their age-mates, but if I were considering public school (or private), I would base that decision on 85% academics and 15% social reasoning. It would take a huge social lag for me to hold them back academically!

 

My long-term plan as of now, is to have my dc take college credits from my home as young as 16, as they are ready. I'd like them to stay in my home until about 20yo when they hopefully have a Bdegree or are very close. The issues of leaving home early and accelerating academics do not have have to go hand-in-hand.

 

 

btw - I went to college with a homeschool grad who left for college at 17yo. She did FINE! She did more than fine, she excelled - did well socially and all that too.

[Peggy in Va]

....or to put it another way, better to start K at 5 or 6?

 

To say it doesn't matter because I home school is not something I need to hear (it does matter and that's why I'm seeking input on the question :)).

 

My dd6 (just finished first grade) has a late August birthday, so I started her in K as a just-turned 5 yo. - she will then presumably graduate at 17. It seems that most parents in ps with cutoff kids are electing to wait now until they are 6 to start K.

 

I'm a one-year-at-a-time home schooler, so I can't predict how far I'll go, but I'm leaning towards SOME public in high school years.

 

In the event she ever goes to ps, I'm not sure I want her to be the youngest in her class, and I've had it suggested to me (actually by a highly respected fellow homeschool mom) that I consider calling her a first grader (again) for a second year and get her into the position (now rather than later) where she will graduate at 18 (as oldest in class vs. youngest). This fellow mom has a dd who just graduated at 17 and is leaving on a full-ride scholarship (obviously did well). She said she regretted starting her early for a variety of reasons and was strongly opinionated on this topic and her advice for me.

 

:iagree:with your friend. Certainly there are some children that would benefit from graduating early, just as there are some that would be better off graduating later. But in general, I'm in the "let them be older camp".

 

I started 1st grade when I was 5 (early Nov. birthday) and although I did fine academically, socially it was another story. I think it makes it easier to decide if you fast forward to middle and high school years and the changes kids go through at those ages. The little things to keep in mind, like having to dress out for gym, interest in boys, etc., etc.

 

When my oldest (late Feb. birthday) was going into 6th grade we switched him from a private school back to ps. Because he had already covered the material being taught in 6th grade he wanted to and we allowed him to skip 6th grade. Hindsight being 20/20, I wish we had not let him skip. Academically he did great, socially it was close to a disaster by the time he finished 9th. After 9th, we switched him back to the private school and he wanted to repeat 9th so he could be with his friends. Let's just say we were very happy that he chose to do this.

 

By the time my middle ds came along hindsight was 20/20. Although academically he was ready for K at 3, because he missed the cut off by one day, we held off calling a grade for him. I would much rather allow him to be the oldest and a leader, than have him be the youngest and a follower.

 

Because you are taking this year by year and are seriously considering ps for high school, if I were you, I would keep dd in 1st and let her work above grade level if needed. Let her be the older one who is the leader and "gets" things more quickly in school. By the time she hits high school, there is more flexibility and options if she is far ahead of the others academically. She can be in 9th grade taking higher level math and science, assuming it has been taught at home, and because of her maturity she will be better prepared to take AP classes, etc.

 

JMO - HTH

[2greatkids]

I'm in the exact situation you are in. My ds's birthday is a little later though.. October. He will be doing 2nd and even some 3rd grade level work when we start our school year,(and he will still be 6!) but for the paperwork into the school, he will be going into 1st. My thinking is that it gives me a year in case he hits a roadblock in the 3rd to 5th grade area, and if he goes into school for high school he won't be the youngest boy in the class. Almost all the kids here are starting K at 6, so he would be quite a bit younger.

[momtotkbb]

Well, I graduated at 17 and turned 18 during my first semester of college. I was always the youngest in everything I did --it worked out fairly well for me bec I was more mature than the avg kid. I did run into a few probs ---I had a few classes in undergrad school and law school where my younger age was a definite disadvantage bec more "world" knowledge was needed. Also, bec I grad w/ a BS in 3 years and my grad work next ---I was looking for a job in my field at 23 and most people weren't so sure about hiring a "young kid" for an administrative position.

 

When my oldest was little we lived in a state with a June 1 cut-off so he didn't start K at 5. We then moved to a state w/ a Sept 1 cut-off. I enrolled him in K and they ended up requesting to move him to first bec he knew all the K material --for that matter he knew the 1st material. Anyway, I got suckered in a let him move to first. So, he grad at 17 and turned 18 the day before he started college. I always knew that he was the youngest or one of the youngest in his schools - but he did well socially and academically. But, I hadn't thought of the fact that he was grad w/ the majority of kids being 18-19 and the "freshman" dorm was full of primarily 19-20 yo boys. He did okay the first year ---but we saw a huge change in him about Christmas time his second year --he was 19 at the time. He admits that he kind of wishes that he had been older when he graduated.

 

With our dd we stepped her back --even though she was working ahead of gl we decided to move her back so she will be 18 at graduation. With middle ds learning acadmics was a little harder at 5 so we did K-6 ---I'm so glad we are giving him that extra year bec he's a little less mature than my other two were at the same age. With little bit I think we will do the same thing ---this will mean that our boys will turn 19 right before high school graduation. I realize that with hsing we can decide to move them ahead ---but right now I'm not planning that.

 

So long story for the answer --I think it varies and depends upon the dc. I think if you are considering pub school at some point then I would hold off a year so that the dc is more in line with the age of students in their class.

[zaichiki]

Do you have to choose now for some reason? When we homeschooled in MA, I wrote ds's birthdate on the "grade" line. The public school (who had the authority to permit us to homeschool) didn't like that and we went back and forth about it. I finally told them that if they REALLY need a grade level (to decide which filing cabinet to put the file in, they told me), they could use the one he'd be placed in by birthdate for their records. I emphasized that ds worked at several different grade levels and I would not label him.

 

Fast forward to this year. We will put ds in school in the fall. Although he would be 5th grade by age (not near any cut-off date), he will enter the 6th grade. It's just a better fit for him academically. He has had plenty of friends a year older than he is... and it's just a year. I have seen no significant differences between ds and his friends who are a year older (socially, developmentally). I don't think a year makes any difference, really, except that the academic placement would be a better fit for ds.

 

You could wait for the future and label your child then. For now, just educate the child at readiness level and don't worry about the number.

 

(Unless of course you absolutely need a grade level for some reason. Then, go ahead and use whichever one you want. You can always change it later.)

[Mom22ns]

I graduated at 17 and so did my dh and so will my nephew, all ps.

 

My dh would tell you it was all good, he was bored to tears, the sooner he escaped the better.

 

For myself, academically it was good, but socially and for sports, it was probably a negative. I don't know, to do it again, I'm glad my mom made the choice and that I don't have to. I really don't know what I would have chosen.

 

For my nephew, he has done well academically too, but has told his mom all the way through school he wished she had waited to send him to K. His b-day is two days before the cut off and he has struggled with being small, immature, and the sports thing. He would definitely choose to have waited. That said, he will graduate from an excellent high school with honors. He just hasn't enjoyed it.

[HiddenJewel]

My oldest has a late July birthday and started K just after she turned 5. She is entering high school next year and has done great so far. However, it really depends on the child. If the child is academically, socially and emotionally ready, I would say to stay on track for graduating at 17. If they are a later bloomer, it is better not to push them.

 

I would have been holding dd#1 back to wait another year which would have not been right. I would have been doing dd#2 a favor by having her wait.

[lgm]

Parents that academic redshirt here do so on the theory that the extra year of preparation will help their child make the cut for honors/AP and allow extra prep time to improve the SAT score. The youngest students in the grade here seem to be highly gifted, and do very well. The district has few classes for advanced students, and points the top of the class at dual enrollment with the local colleges as juniors, unless the students is interested in picking up some vo-tech experience or working a half-day.

 

I would say it really depends on your situation, your dd's goals and the options available that you'll consider.

[Ellie]

People whose birthdays are in the summer will graduate at 17 and then have their 18th birthdays later. I'm one of those people; my birthday is in July, so I graduated in June and was 18 a month later.

 

If you have to put a grade-level label on your dc, IMHO it should be the one that your state of residence uses. For example, in California dc must be 6 by December 2 to start first grade (kindergarten is not mandatory); so a child who is 5 by December 2 would start kindergarten that fall. (Yes, that's way too young, but it is what it is.) Those children will graduate at 17. In Texas, children must be 6 by September 1 to start first grade. Many of them will start at 17 and have their 18th birthdays after the beginning of the school year, so they will graduate at 18 (like my friend whose birthday was November 23; she was 17 when our senior year started, and was 18 in November).

 

So your question is a little screwy, lol. It presupposes that all children will turn 18 before the end of the school year of 12th grade, which isn't the case at all. It also presupposes that 12 is a magical number somehow, that formal education must occur for 12 years, beginning at a specific time in the child's life. I don't believe this is so.

 

At any rate, on paper, a hsed child should be "in" "first grade" the same year he would have been if he'd gone to the local public school, according to the cut-off in the state he lives in.

[Pam Wilhelm]

I have one child that would/should graduate at 17 ....... or before.

 

The other 2 children I'm going to stretch until they are 18, or so. They just aren't ready in so many ways and I tend to hold them back..... of course that is now...... who knows what a few years will bring.

[Alaska Mom]

if I were you, I would keep dd in 1st and let her work above grade level if needed. Let her be the older one who is the leader and "gets" things more quickly in school. By the time she hits high school, there is more flexibility and options if she is far ahead of the others academically. She can be in 9th grade taking higher level math and science, assuming it has been taught at home, and because of her maturity she will be better prepared to take AP classes, etc.

 

JMO - HTH

 

 

This is I THINK what I'm leaning to.

 

After reading the responses I'll add a bit of additional info that is weighing in for me:

 

1) I was on the cutoff & started early, I was extremely shy and for maturity reasons (EXTREME shyness) was "held back" in first grade. I always felt ashamed of that. As a kid you take that as "everyone must think I'm not smart, I'm being held back". So in answering the question "WHY DO YOU NEED TO DECIDE THIS NOW?", if I hold her back based on AGE I want to do this early, not later. I personally think kids DO have their identy tried to grade level. You see kids ask all the time "what grade are you in".

 

2) She has friends who just missed the cutoff (are within WEEKS of her age) and are in a grade below her. Actually one of her closest friends is 2 weeks OLDER than she is and her parents waited on her starting K (ps)- so she is in 1st this year and my dd is in 2nd - it's just confusing!

 

3) She's highly driven towards athletics. She's always received alot of attention for having early coordination/skill at everything she does that's athletic, she's a natural athlete (one reason I'm leaning towards public high school - sports). So I'm debating this age issue - waiting and having her be older in her grade - as it may help her in sports as well.

 

4) On the side of keeping her where she is, I think she's very socially mature for her age. She's a better fit socially with older kids than younger at the present time.

 

Don't know, don't know, don't know....what's a mom to do!

 

Thanks!

Edited June 23, 2009 by Alaska Mom

[Jill- OK]

You seem to want to be able to "settle" this now, but what if you could put off deciding about high school until...high school? :001_smile:

 

I have a 7 year old and a 8 year old that I'm calling 2nd and 3rd graders, again, this year, since we're going to a co-op that designates grade levels (they'll turn 8 and 9 early in the school year). Both of them started doing academic work when they were about four or five, but I'd rather them be on target, age-wise, if we're involving outside groups. For social purposes.

 

If, when they get to 8th grade, they're still working ahead, and are going to be doing high school level work that I feel should go on their transcript, and if they want to move ahead and graduate a little early...I'll bump them into high school.

 

Just like I did with one of their older siblings.

 

I do think it matters, even if you're homeschooling, what grade you have assigned to your child...but I don't think it has to be as set in stone as it is with the public schools. (I also don't think it matters, as much.) For us, the real issue is where they truly belong. And that can be different, at different times.

 

For the most part, socially, until at LEAST high school, I believe they "belong" with peers, if you're talking outside activities (no matter what feats of wonder they're performing at home). It's usually much easier on the ego, later, to skip ahead than hold back, so that's why I prefer to err on the side of age when they're young, and offer the opportunity to advance, later. (It's not something I decide on my own, without them, so it also makes sense to wait until they're old enough to think it over, and help with the decision).

 

JMO.

Edited June 23, 2009 by Jill, OK

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

I haven't read all the other posts, so I apologize if this is redundant, but IMHO....I would wait. She might be ready academically NOW, but who knows if she'll be able to keep up later on. Also, even if she's able to handle the workload academically, later on (I'm thinking middle school/high school years) if you ever decide to put her in PS then she'll be behind the other girls physically, emotionally, hormonally...YKWIM? Those years are hard enough without having to be pushed into anything way before she's ready.

 

Finally...I feel that starting them early just takes away a year of their childhood. Sure, they graduate a year early but then they're of to college or out in the "real world." Who wants to do that before they have to?

 

Good luck with your decision. I have a fall kid as well, so I know it's pros & cons.

Edited June 24, 2009 by Mrs. Frankweiler

[Ashkraw]

Wait til 18. I graduate at 17. There is no need to push it. I even left for college 2 days after my 18th birthday. I would have been better to have had another year of maturity.:)

[Greta]

Finally...I feel that starting them early just takes away a year of their childhood. Sure, they graduate a year early but then they're of to college or out in the "real world." Who wants to do what before they have to?

 

:iagree: and posted a similar sentiment in another thread: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1027999#poststop

[Angel]

I think first grade is too soon to worry about when your child will graduate. You have at least 11 years to tweak things. You don't know what your child will be like as a teenager or how she will progress academically.

 

Tara

 

I disagree. First grade IS the time to think about it. Why? Because in first grade or K it is easy to say, "Let's do another year!" In 6th-8th it's not so easy.

 

I feel very strongly about this. My older dd is smart. She began K at 4 at a Christian school. She didn't turn 5 till the end of October. I certainly believed I was justified...she was smart....she could do the work...we had the option to keep her back that year or the next...we knew her teacher very well. She was very capable of doing the work and continued to be capable of doing the work. One of the mom's (had 5 kids) asked me why I wanted to start her so early. Got my hackles all up and I said "Why not? She's certainly smart enough!!" This mom wasn't put off by me and asked me what about middle school and high school when she was younger then. What did I care about then? She was doing fine now. That was years away!

 

Now dd is 14 and just finished 9th grade. Around her 7th grade year I realized that I didn't want her graduating at 17. They really do have the rest of their lives to be grown ups, why rush graduating. Dd is harder to convince. She is doing her work well and taking an extra year of high school just might look silly to everyone else if she is capable of graduating. They don't have those opinions in K or 1st. :glare:

 

That was the year that my younger dd (an early Sept. birthday) did her 2nd year of K. She will now graduate at 18.

 

Ok, so that was a book:rolleyes: but I hope it helps. Sure some kids are more mature than others. And sure kids can graduate at 17 and do just fine. But why rush it. They will have years and years to be grown-up and go to college and get a job. They only have those first 18 years once. I say call it 1st grade again. IF you get to 9th-12th and your dc is chomping at the bit to graduate, it is much, much easier to skip a grade than it is to try and get them to add an extra year to high school if they need it.

 

Just my (not so humble) two cents!

[mazakaal]

It really does depend on the child. My birthday is Sept 2, so I graduated high school at 17yo. I was also in the top 10% of my class, was in the National Honor Society, and graduated with over a semester worth of college credit because of the AP classes I took. So, academically, being the youngest in the class didn't hurt me at all. In fact, I graduated from college at 20yo because, with all the AP credits and a few summer classes, I managed to finish college in 3 years.

 

Honestly there's really no way for you to know now how your dd will do in high school. If she's struggling with learning to read and basic math concepts now, then hold her in 1st grade, but if she's doing well, you may as well pass her up to the next level. If she completes 8th grade and you feel like maturity-wise she's not ready for high school, then keep her home with you for another year and call it an enrichment year or something. You could also give her a 'gap year' after high school if she graduates at 17 and you feel like she's not ready for college at that point. Almost everyone here in England takes a gap year before university to work or travel or both.

[Haiku]

So I'm debating this age issue - waiting and having her be older in her grade - as it may help her in sports as well.

 

 

We have a son we adopted internationally who has a court-assigned birthdate. No one knows what his true birthdate is. Currently he is 6 1/2. In reality he is probably 7 1/2. He is taller than the other kids and far more coordinated. He has a better attention span and ability to focus on the game. It's been a bad thing for sports. He is sometimes stuck in age brackets with kids whose skills are well below his level. What we have had to do is plead our case to the soccer organization to try to get him into higher level groups. Sometimes it has worked, sometimes is has not. Being bigger, older, and faster has not been an advantage to him in sports. He is in a soccer camp right now, and yesterday he scored 17 goals against the other team. He enjoys the praise but he doesn't enjoy the lack of competition.

 

I also think that with homeschooled kids, what grade they are is not as important as it is to schooled kids. I hear far more "How old are you?" than I do "What grade are you in?" among the homeschooled kids I know, and the kids are also more likely to say, "I'm doing third grade spelling but 5th grade math," because they know that grade levels are not very meaningful. I have a daughter who just finished 8th grade in a public school. She will be 15 this summer and hates that she is "old" for her grade. She says, "Everyone thinks I should be going into 10th grade." She had a kid in her 8th-grade class who was 12. So the age level can vary widely.

 

Anyway, my opinion still is "put your kid in the grade she'd be in based on the public school's cut-off if she were going to school." ETA: Thinking about this further, it sounds like your dd is second-grade age and you are considering holding her back.

 

Tara

Edited June 23, 2009 by TaraTheLiberator

[Haiku]

Around her 7th grade year I realized that I didn't want her graduating at 17.

 

Ok, your story makes sense, but again, I graduated at 17 and it wasn't a big deal. I also think there's a big difference between a kid starting K at 4 and starting K at five, which is, after all, K age. The starting early thing is, to me, a whole different situation than the holding back thing. The OP's daughter is second-grade age and, to me, she's talking about holding her back, which is different than you deciding to keep your daughter on grade level.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

You could also give her a 'gap year' after high school if she graduates at 17 and you feel like she's not ready for college at that point.

 

Oh, yeah, I completely forgot about gap year! I am planning for all three of my kids to take a gap year to do volunteer service, regardless of what age they are when they graduate.

 

Tara

[tricia]

I've started 11 of our 12 children all between 6 and 7. They stay in our 'school' until 19. I feel like as a parent I need at least 19 structured years with them in order to train and educate them. Otherwise, they have this mentality that okay, now I'm 18, I'm free. But I feel like at 18 they are still a bit 'young' even though they think they are not.

[zaichiki]

I agree with MeganP. There are SO many options as a child gets older if you need to make changes. I like her suggestions of an enrichment year and a gap year. I also graduated high school at 17 with an experience like Megan's. If I had been held back a year (in K or 1st), school would have been very different for me. (I might even have dropped out.)

 

We're planning to do an enrichment year for ds. He's going to start 6th grade in school in the fall, as a grade skip. I want to put him into an academically vigorous private high school with age mates in the future. Our solution is to send him to a local Catholic school for 6th and 7th and homeschool him for 8th and 8th plus. He'll be doing high school level work (some of his work is already at that level), but I want him to be ready for the high school I have in mind. It's more than just academic. Of course, things may change and he may do just fine without the enrichment year. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm thankful we have the opportunity to tweak things as we go.

 

 

It really does depend on the child. My birthday is Sept 2, so I graduated high school at 17yo. I was also in the top 10% of my class, was in the National Honor Society, and graduated with over a semester worth of college credit because of the AP classes I took. So, academically, being the youngest in the class didn't hurt me at all. In fact, I graduated from college at 20yo because, with all the AP credits and a few summer classes, I managed to finish college in 3 years.

 

Honestly there's really no way for you to know now how your dd will do in high school. If she's struggling with learning to read and basic math concepts now, then hold her in 1st grade, but if she's doing well, you may as well pass her up to the next level. If she completes 8th grade and you feel like maturity-wise she's not ready for high school, then keep her home with you for another year and call it an enrichment year or something. You could also give her a 'gap year' after high school if she graduates at 17 and you feel like she's not ready for college at that point. Almost everyone here in England takes a gap year before university to work or travel or both.

[Penelope]

I think for girls it is better to be a little early. Speaking personally and with those I know, the maturity difference between 17 and 18 or 19 or even 20, is not very significant.

 

Now with so many people delaying marriage and children until after college and career start, I say the earlier the better. If someone wants to go into law or some other career requiring grad school, it can be many additional years of schooling, and most people delay family until they are finished.

[Penelope]

Also for another piece of my perspective-- it is only in the past few years that states have pushed the cut-off ages back so far. My parents and in-laws in the 50's started first grade (no kinder) at 5-- and a couple of them had Jan. and Feb. birthdays! In the 70's there were loads of kids who started K at 4, because the cut-offs were late fall or winter. I don't think children are somehow les mature than in years past, I see more of a trend over the past 100+ years to prolong adolescence more and more.

[mlbuchina]

My plan is to base their grade level on their age, and their work level on whatever level they are on. For example, we started 1st grade math in the middle of K because my dd6 (5 at the time) was ready for it. Of course, the beginning of 1st grade math was a repeat of what we had already been doing, and we didn't get to new material until she was 6. I don't know if you would call her an early or late b'day, 'cause I have no idea what the cut-off dates are for where we live. If it turns out that we homeschool to the end, I plan on her graduating at 17 or 18, but her work by that time may be courses from the jr. college, and not "highschool" courses anymore. We'll just have to wait and see!

[zaichiki]

I see more of a trend over the past 100+ years to prolong adolescence more and more.

 

I agree. And I'm not so sure it's a good thing...

[Ellie]

In the event she ever goes to ps, I'm not sure I want her to be the youngest in her class, and I've had it suggested to me (actually by a highly respected fellow homeschool mom) that I consider calling her a first grader (again) for a second year and get her into the position (now rather than later) where she will graduate at 18 (as oldest in class vs. youngest). This fellow mom has a dd who just graduated at 17 and is leaving on a full-ride scholarship (obviously did well). She said she regretted starting her early for a variety of reasons and was strongly opinionated on this topic and her advice for me.

There's no way of knowing whether she'd be the youngest in her class. Also, define "youngest." Surely she won't be the only child whose birthday is August.

 

*I* would not purposely hold a child back, even though it's on paper, just because of her age, not unless I saw serious academic deficiencies.

 

Calling your dd "first grade" the year she was 6 is not starting "early."

 

I have a July birthday. I'm so thankful no one considered that "late" and kept me from going to school when I was 6.

[Haiku]

I agree. And I'm not so sure it's a good thing...

 

I think it's a bad thing. My great grandmother was married at 13 and had three kids by the time she was 17. Not that I advocate that, either, but her husband owned a store and had a day job (postmaster), so my great grandmother took care of the kids, house, and store as a teenager.

 

Kids are not less mature these days. We just expect less of them and they get away with more because they are still "children." I think our expectation that people are children until they are 18 is one of the biggest reasons that so many kids have such antisocial personalities. I know plenty of people who think its horrible that my almost-15-year-old has to do her own laundry and cook dinner once a week, and I wonder what is going to happen to their kids when they go from being pampered at home to having to run their own lives.

 

To go even further off topic, my opinion is that the state should only require an 8th-grade education, and all those kids who think they are too "big" to be told what to do by adults can then go out and work. High school can be for those people who actually want to learn, and the rest of the "kids" can get over their attitudes and learn to be adults.

 

Tara

 

:auto: (My son wanted this.)

[LadyAberlin]

Well a lot of homeschoolers around here graduate highschool with almost 2 yrs of jr college credit. So if you homeschooled in highschool you could do that. She could attend jr college her jr senior yrs and graduate at 18. If you did that you would have to hold her back at all, you just would tag on an extra yr at the end and make highschool 5 yrs and have her take some college classes. That way she gets college under her belt, can still get scholarships and doesn't have to leave home until she is 18. I've known a lot of homeschoolers who have tagged on an extra yr so that the kids graduated at 19 because they were boys and they felt maturity wise they needed an extra yr. Now if oyu put her in ps then you won't have as many options on how to do it though.

[Karen in CO]

I was pretty certain that 18 was the age I wanted my girls to be when they went to college - they have winter birthdays.

 

When my ds finally chose a college, it was on the other side of the world. I was really glad that he was 18, almost 19 (he took a semester off before college) before he went away. I think the extra maturity has really helped him. As a freshman in addition to living away from home for the first time, he had to deal with foreign embassies, mass transit, shopping for and cooking all of his own meals, arranging his own schedules, and being unable to easily call or come home in case of an emergency. He went from homeschool in a medium sized suburban town to living alone in the largest city in the world. I appreciated the extra time he had to mature. My dd8 has decided that she wants to go to school in Rome. My youngest promised to go to college in our town and live at home so that I wouldn't be lonely.

 

With kids on both ends of the homeschool journey, I have a different perspective than many. When my ds came home for his first visit, he told me that he wouldn't want the girls to skip a grade and graduate early. From what he has seen of American kids in overseas schools, older kids are more confident and comfortable. That one year difference really shows when they are far from home.

[HFClassicalAcademy]

It seems to me that homeschool kids tend to be a little more mature than their ps counterparts. Perhaps that's just true of all the homeschool teens I've met. I agree that we expect much less of our children (society in general) in terms of maturity, than in the times of our grandparents or great grandparents.

 

I plan on not focusing too much on grade level, but more on academic achievement. If my kids end up completing everything before they are 18...that would be fine with me! Just because they finish high school early doesn't mean they have to go away immediately to college!!

 

I do see, however, the benefit of graduating early in some careers. My dh (a doctor) always comments on how it's nice to be young as a new physician because of an early graduation. It's a benefit when you have a loooooong career you want to do, like becoming an M.D. (seriously because you don't start earning any real money until you've been in school and training for a minimum of 8-10 years!!!).

 

So I say, move at your child's pace and forget about the grade level! There is so much time for you to label her later!!

 

Liz in NC

[Ravin]

You can't always plan that far in advance. I started K at 4, but wound up repeating it because of maturity issues and a long commute on a rural bus route. Fast forward a few years, I wound up skipping 8th grade, went to a concurrent college enrollment program my Jr year of hs and didn't do so hot (lack of maturity was a big factor there) and still graduated at 17. My 18th birthday found me in boot camp. My sisters were both held back at least once, and wound up with one getting her GED at 18 (when she found out she had failed most of a year of high school and wouldn't be able to graduate until she was 20!), and the other one dropped out two months shy of graduating at age 19 then went back to an alternative HS and got her diploma at 21.

 

I try and remember these things when planning for DD; what she's ready for and does well with now won't necessarily lead along a completely unrocky road to a standard conclusion. If it did, she'd graduate at 17. Either way, I will probably encourage her to take a break before college, unless she's very motivated to keep going.

[dandelion18]

?

[razorbackmama]

....or to put it another way, better to start K at 5 or 6?

 

To say it doesn't matter because I home school is not something I need to hear (it does matter and that's why I'm seeking input on the question :)).

 

My dd6 (just finished first grade) has a late August birthday, so I started her in K as a just-turned 5 yo. - she will then presumably graduate at 17. It seems that most parents in ps with cutoff kids are electing to wait now until they are 6 to start K.

 

I'm a one-year-at-a-time home schooler, so I can't predict how far I'll go, but I'm leaning towards SOME public in high school years.

 

In the event she ever goes to ps, I'm not sure I want her to be the youngest in her class, and I've had it suggested to me (actually by a highly respected fellow homeschool mom) that I consider calling her a first grader (again) for a second year and get her into the position (now rather than later) where she will graduate at 18 (as oldest in class vs. youngest). This fellow mom has a dd who just graduated at 17 and is leaving on a full-ride scholarship (obviously did well). She said she regretted starting her early for a variety of reasons and was strongly opinionated on this topic and her advice for me.

 

I think it depends on the child as to when it's "best" to graduate, and honestly it pains me for parents to decide that at age 5/6 (sorry) because soooooooooo much can change between now and then.

 

I graduated at age 17, went off to college when I was still 17, and I had absolutely no trouble whatsoever. I was always more mature for my age. (LOL got married when I was 19!) I started school when I was 5, about to turn 6, but 9 weeks into the school year they wanted me to bump up 2 grades. My dad had a cow because he didn't want me to graduate when I was 16, so they compromised on only moving me up 1 grade. So that's how I graduated at 17. I was the youngest in my class, but other than being bored out of my mind with my schoolwork and thinking that my other classmates were immature, I had no problems.;)

 

With my own children now, I base when I start them in K or 1st grade on how mature they are NOW. If they do graduate "early," and I feel they are not ready to handle college, then they will just stay home and work for a year.;)

[stripe]

I was younger than other students in school. In sixth grade, the boy who sat in front of me had already repeated several times and was almost 5 years older than me (!) and made a lot of comments about his anatomy etc. I think pushing students ahead and holding them back are both bad games to play. I hope my goals for educating them will do neither....

[Marla]

I really understand your dilemma as my dd has a late July birthday and I struggled with the exact same thing - A LOT! :) In the end, I decided to give my dd the gift of time! Children have 13 years for school/academics (plus college years) and only 5-6 short, carefree years of childhood so I decided to officially start K when she was 6 yo even though she qualified earlier according to ps cut-off dates.

 

My decision was also based on my looking down the road to when she entered middle school/junior high. Again, I hope the gift of time will provide added maturity as she begins the potentially turbulent teen years. Hopefully, she'll be a leader rather than a follower. Now that doesn't mean that younger children can't be leaders, but a year of maturity can perhaps make a difference for some children.

 

My decision was also influenced by the fact that I was "older" in my class because I missed the age cut-off and I always considered it an advantage. I did well academically, socially, etc... and I got my driver's license before all my friends! :)

 

Also, a friend who teaches K said she ALWAYS takes note of all the children in her class that have summer birthdays because she anticipates their "younger" age can be problematic. Her son was born a few days before my dd and she waited to start him in K until he was 6.

 

It's usually much easier on the ego, later, to skip ahead than hold back, so that's why I prefer to err on the side of age when they're young, and offer the opportunity to advance, later.

:iagree: I do think that now is the time to decide. If my dd needs to jump a grade level when she is in Jr. High or High School, we'll do it. If she wants to graduate early or begin community college classes early, we'll do it. But to have to hold her back when she is older, or to have her struggle with academics or socially because she needed more time to mature, will be difficult.

 

It's a tough decision and there are proponents on both sides of the issue. One way is not right or wrong, just different options.

Edited June 23, 2009 by Marla

[LynnG in Arizona]

This has been a fascinating discussion for me, and one that I can relate to on many different levels.

 

I am actually trying to decide the issue with our youngest two children. I have a daughter with a late October birthday. Do I start her in kindergarten at 4/almost 5 . . . or do I start her at 5/almost 6?

 

Likewise, I have a son with a mid-July birthday. He would make the cutoff in just about any state to start kindergarten at 5. But is he still going to be the youngest boy in every class?

 

I have a mid-August birthday. My parents started me in K at 5, but I was usually the youngest in my class. I ended up graduating high school at 17 and starting college about a week after I turned 18. This was not a problem *at all*, and I totally think my parents made the right decision.

 

Similarly, our eldest has a late-August birthday. I've just graduated her at 17, and she will be heading off to a 4-year university a couple days before she turns 18. She is completely ready to go, and I am completely ready to see her go. LOL. We have reached the age where we love each other, but it is difficult to live together in close proximity. I literally shudder to think of having to spend another year of high school with her. ;) She is like an adolescent lion who *needs* to leave the pack so that lions don't get killed. Seriously.

 

I sympathize with the original poster who wants to settle this issue now. Yes, we all know that as homeschoolers we can tailor our academics to whatever level we would like. But it's much easier to make this decision now than years down the road, that's for sure. And even as a homeschooler, it affects things like Sunday school level, etc.

 

In retrospect, I wish I had timed my pregnancies better so that all my kids had a January birthday with no real ambiguity as to grade level. :lol:

 

To the original poster, I would give the advice to go ahead and start your daughter in first grade, assuming she is of typical academic ability and social maturity. She has basically the same birthday as both myself and my eldest daughter, and for both of us, it has worked out perfectly fine to start first grade at a young 6.

 

And what advice would you all give me for my two youngest?

 

1. My girl with a late October birthday. She is now 3.5+ and is chomping to do school. I do gentle preschool with her now, but she is anxious to learn to read.

 

2. My boy with a mid-July birthday. He's almost 2, and it's too early to tell much about academic ability or social maturity. IF we assume for the sake of argument that he's pretty much middle-of-the-road normal in both areas, would you start him in K at 5 - or at 6?

[5knights3maidens]

I've been going through this with my 5year old. She will be 6 at the end of July so everyone is saying she is in first grade now. I've said it but I'm not to sure about it. I really don't need to worry about this until she turns 8. That's when PA requires a grade. This will be the same with the youngest. She will be 5 at the end of August next year. I think their maturity level could be better. 4 of our kids had later birthdays so they had a were a little older and #4 child I held back until he was 6 in June...maturity level wasn't great.

[hmschooling]

I started K when I was 4, almost 5. I then finished 12th grade a semester early...just two months after I turned 17. I then started college that next Aug. at the age of 17 (2 months before 18). If I could go back, I would have started K the next year and not graduated early and have been at least 18 at graduation. Sure I was bright enough, but I wasn't old enough maturity wise.

 

My dd has a June bday is a very young 3rd grader. She will still be 17 when she finishes 12th grade, so I think I might "hold her back" a grade at some point even though she is working ahead in many subjects...depending on how they'll award hs credit for courses done before 9th grade that are high school level.

 

B/C of this I am starting ds in K as a 5yo, almost 6 instead of 4, almost 5.

 

I think older is better in most cases, unless your dc is VERY mature for their age and has a firm foundation in their morals and beliefs as not to be swayed easily by the older crowd of wild things. LOL

 

ETA: I struggled a lot throughout school with making friends b/c I was always the young one amongst kids 1-2 years older than me.

Edited June 24, 2009 by hmschooling

[Peela]

My dd will be 17.5, my ds will be just 18. He repeated kindergarten because he wasn't mature enough- cried every day for me- and was at the far younger end of his year. It was a relief to keep him back.

I do agree with the idea of doing that repeat, if it is to happen at all, at the beginning of their schooling. Neither of mine would have been impressed with being repeated as they got older. No child though probably minds too much being jumped forward a year, if that is what is needed.

[Matryoshka]

I graduated just 3 mos. after my 17th birthday. I did decide I didn't feel ready to go off to college right away, but I saw it as an opportunity to do something I'd otherwise not have "time" to do - and I went to school in Germany for a year, then came back here and went to college. I am both glad that I had that "extra" year (and I was already bored in school where I was - so glad I wasn't 'held back' because of my age), and also glad I took the 'gap year' before college, because I do think I was more ready for college after that.

 

My older two have summer birthdays and will still be 17 when they graduate, but will turn 18 within a month after that. I don't anticipate that being a problem.

 

My youngest is more problematic - she was way ahead when younger, so I called her 1st at 5yo (turned 6 in Dec). This year she did 3rd grade, at least academically, and that's what I reported her as. But in all outside classes she's with her age-mates. She was in 2nd grade at German Sat. School and at Church Sunday School. She also plateaued a bit, so she's still ahead academically, but not so far as she was in K/1st.

 

My current thought is that I'll worry about this when she begins high school. If I homeschool her all through, I can always give her a 13th year - either doing something like I did, or mixed with cc classes, or something else creative. If for some reason she ends up going to ps high school, I think I would hold her back at that point to her age-level, as in high school they'll usually let you take the classes at your level and not worry so much about what grade you're in. I'm hoping if that happened, it wouldn't feel so much like holding back since she's already in the lower grade designation for her outside classes.

[lauracolumbus]

I agree w/the pp that b/c it's a girl, I would keep her in 2d. With boys, it seems to be a little different, but even then, I wouldn't 'redshirt' him. Everyone I've seen who has done it, it hasn't worked out to their advantage. My brother did it w/my nephew b/c he was 17 when he graduated and a late developer and thought it held him back in sports. His son did ok in sports, but started college late, ended up taking 5 years, so he graduated at 23, where as I graduated at 21 and got a jump on everything--including grad school.

 

I have 2 friends who have held their boys back and both have come to regret it. Their boys are exceptionally big for their class and for some reason they get bullied b/c of it. I have another friend whose son has sort of internalized that he wasn't smart enough to cut it w/his age group. My ds was the youngest boy in his class and I could see the difference in social maturity and it might hurt him in sports (his passion), but as his kindergarten teacher said it would have been a shame to hold him back. He's done very well academically.

 

Laura