I hate homeschooling. There I've said it.

[LG Gone Wild]

Having a bad couple of years with ds. :glare:

[Desert Rat]

Aw, I'm sorry! I hope things look up soon. I definitely have those days, er....weeks, um....months, myself.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I've had times like that too. :grouphug:

[Greta]

About six or eight weeks ago, we went through a week that had me SERIOUSLY considering enrolling her in p.s. I mean, I downloaded application forms and asked around about charter schools and everything. One of us was going to have to get out of this house, and it seemed logical that it should be her.

 

But we got through it. As my mom always says . . . this too shall pass. Hang in there.

 

:grouphug:

[CalicoKat]

:iagree:it is such hard work.

 

We are hearing/seeing the beginning of "fruit." I know that in the end it's worth all that I'm pouring into it. Right now though I feel like I'm in the middle of this marathon and my muscles are burning, I'm thirsty, I have a stitch in my side, and my shoes are coming apart. . . . do I keep going or should I just give it up. :001_unsure:

[HRAAB]

I'm so sorry things aren't going well for you and your son. I've certainly had some very bad times, even for several months, but it's never gone on for a year or more. Is there another option you can explore. Not necessarily public school, but maybe co-op, dual enrollment, a tutor, study group, different curriculum? A couple years just seems like a really long time, for both you and him. Hope things turn around for you.

 

Janet

[Hot Lava Mama]

But, can I borrow your "school motto"? We need it here, too!

I can relate!

Hot Lava Mama

[BlsdMama]

If it counts I begged DH to let Tim (now 4.5) go on the pretty yellow bus to preschool last year. I'm feeling better this year and am really glad he kept us committed (vs. just committing me :P ) but it was a hard year with him.....

 

Hugs mama. Everything we pour into these kids has to come out and show up sometime, right?

[Robin Hood]

I've been shoving those thoughts down moment by moment and trying to refuse to go there, but every now and then the words pop out of my mouth. I am so close to .....nope nope nope...I'm not going there.

[lighthouseacademy]

There have been many days when I have felt exactly that way and I wish I could send my son to ps. I just can't do it though... I will figure out a way to make this work and like it! I have to!

[sandellie4]

:grouphug: to *all* of you who have been having a tough time. We go through this too, and one of the things that does sometimes help is doing a little outsourcing. Sometimes just a little space from each other can make a world of difference.

 

Sandy

[rlowetx]

Wow, as a naive newbie, I really appreciate everyone's honesty. It is actually encouraging to see the reality that we are about to undertake...I think the difficult days would have been harder if we didn't know they were coming.

I wish you the best.

[cin]

I rank homeschooling right up there with laundry and toilets. I hate doing it, but it's gotta be done. And just as I don't want someone else washing my underwear, I dont' want someone else educating my children. (If anyone ever volunteers to clean my toilet however, they are MORE THAN WELCOME TOO!!!!!!)

[Pongo]

My bf said those same words to me last week. So I replied, "Put them in school, if your this miserable then they must be as miserable". So she asked the kids ,and they ALL wanted to go to school, they told her how they knew they drove her crazy and they didn't want her to school them anymore. She was shocked and then realized she wasn't doing them any good and put them in for this fall.....only for a year she says.

 

With that said, I AM NOT telling you to put them in school. She is my bf and I know her, shes been hating it for years, she knows it, I know it , her husband knows it, the kids know it. She is worn out, tired, complains daily about everything, she has spiraled down since she had her fourth baby.

 

Although I love homeschooling, I have been blessed with kids that WANT to be home schooled too, but that could change. Some days are icky, but I never hate it, and quite honestly, if I hated it I wouldn't do it. I have my own convictions for homeschooling, as everyone here does, but I also believe that it's not the end all if they go to school. If it came down to my relationship with my children (not that I am saying this is going on with you), where I was hating something I was doing for them, I would find an alternative. But again, it's not what I am suggestling for you and your family. :)

 

This may be a tough time, it stinks. Maybe time to take a long break,

reevaluate, go on a field trip, eat chocolate, get a pedicure and take a nap.:D

[WhereHopeGrows]

I rank homeschooling right up there with laundry and toilets. I hate doing it, but it's gotta be done. And just as I don't want someone else washing my underwear, I dont' want someone else educating my children. (If anyone ever volunteers to clean my toilet however, they are MORE THAN WELCOME TOO!!!!!!)

 

Oh my! This says is well! You just made me laugh out loud!!! :D (I needed that!)

 

We've had some hard years too. It really helps to keep things in perspective. It helps me to remember why I am doing this. I am soooooo tired and worn out right now. The last part of this year was tough. It is good to be honest with ourselves, huh? Sometimes schooling is just plain tough. But I agree, two years is a long time. I hope that you will see some turnaround soon. Hugs to you!

Edited June 22, 2009 by WhereHopeGrows

[Chelle in MO]

LG, I'm sorry you're having a hard time! Homeschooling is such a sacrifice. It really saps it all out of us a lot of the time.

 

I'm not sure I can describe this very well, but homeschooling was VERY hard for me until I *owned* it. And that wasn't until the end of my oldest's 4th grade year (we've always homeschooled). I had to get to a place of knowing why I was doing it and that there were no better options. I had to stop thinking it was a temporary school solution and realize we wanted it to be our permanent lifestyle.

 

I kept thinking homeschooling had to look a certain way and that *our* home school didn't look like that, so I must be doing it wrong, somehow. When I gave myself permission to be the person I am and not anyone else (that came through lots of prayer), it started to improve. It was like I was fighting something (probably myself!) and didn't even realize it. My oldest has always been very headstrong, too, which never makes things any easier. Plus, young children are just exhausting--whether you have one or a half dozen!

 

I hope you find a solution that gives you peace.

 

Chelle

[Karen in CO]

If you hate it and have felt that way for a couple of years, and you hate but not like the same way you hate cleaning toilets (or plungering - is that a word - toilets that nobody stopped up)? Then that is a valid thing that you need to look at and examine.

 

Make a list - I love lists. Specifically what do you hate about homeschooling?

 

Then look honestly at that list and see what you can change.

 

For example, I work weekends so on Mondays, my house was messy and my kids were whiney and starting off the week with tears (from both of us) set us up to have a terrible week. I quit homeschooling on Mondays and took the day to just be the Mom. It made a world of difference in our week.

 

Take stock of your situation and see why you hate homeschooling. Remember why you homeschool in the first place and make it better.

:grouphug:

[Ibbygirl]

I'm so sorry to hear you are so discouraged. I can say I've been there too. Homeschooling is NOT easy. At times like these sometimes it's good to just ease up a little and not hit the books so hard. It's hard at the end of the year when everyone is tired of school and ready for the summer break. Maybe take a week off and just have fun?? Go to a water park or on some field trips that you haven't had time to do? Something to give your relationship a boost of positive energy?? I like the idea of lists as well. I think it helps to put things into perspective if you can list honestly the pros and cons and see it all in front of you. I wish you all the best. I hope that you are able to get beyond this frustration and enjoy your homeschool again. :grouphug:

 

Blessings,

Jennifer

[mama2cntrykids]

:grouphug: I second the list idea. It really could give you perspective on what needs to change and start you in the direction of how to change it.

 

I know what it feels like to be stressed to the max by one of my children (my Aspie) and it can be so hard!

:grouphug:

[aprilinparis]

I so understand... and I hope you've been encouraged, at least realizing you're not alone! I really like the suggestion of making a list, and then looking at what you can change. I struggled with one of my kids, and it took my hubby to point out that I was letting him engage/discuss/argue with me over most everything. Talk about draining! We then changed our approach, and took big steps to change our bad habits. School isn't perfect, but it's much better now. Following through with consequences consistently is what we needed, and it has helped. Sometimes this child just needed 'hug-time' with me on the couch.... the 'I love you always no matter what' time has made huge strides on our path to peace. (he didn't always want the long hug, but it always made it better)

 

:grouphug:

[TracyR]

I have days like that too. We actually had a few years that were pretty rought. My oldest when she was 7 decided to turn and make like miserable. Then after my youngest was born it has made a rough couple of years dealing with her medical problems and homeschooling a now 11 yr old who likes to try my patience once again.

 

I do remind myself that public school is not an option for us.

What ever you decide to do you'll do it because its what is best for you. I had a friend who's son was making life pretty miserable for her and she didn't put him in ps this year. It did him some good. She is going to continue letting him go until he finishes elementary school but she knows that she will be homeschooling him again for high school because high school is not an option for them( bad schools).

[Laura Corin]

Just a thought: Hobbes went to playschool for a couple of years before coming home again at age five. It gave us all a break, he really loved it and it was a very good solution at the time.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[Remudamom]

Meh. I'm with you. Thank goodness mine are old enough to do their own work.

[kalanamak]

I like doing it, and I like falling in bed at night having done it, but as I drive home from work and think ahead to everything I have to do, I admit it makes me tired just thinking about it.

[Mesa]

No suggestions because we have a lot of rough days here. Most days are fine, really... it's just the combo of schooling, dr's apts, house work and being a wife and mother, that are soooo overwhelming.

:grouphug:

[LG Gone Wild]

It's really my eldest. I keep wondering when I am going to have wonderful memories. When is it going to be rewarding? It's his personality. He is programmed to do things the wrong way and convinced that he is doing right. What is that expression, " He who knows not he knows not he knows not is a fool?" He is a bit like that. Needs to learn the hard way but insists that he's right.

 

My other two kids are easy. My eldest has always been difficult, always, in everything. I will continue to homeschool him because he needs it, kwim? I love the idea of homeschooling and it's great with my dd.

 

ETA: So we could use your prayers.

[Ibbygirl]

It's really my eldest. I keep wondering when I am going to have wonderful memories. When is it going to be rewarding? It's his personality. He is programmed to do things the wrong way and convinced that he is doing right. What is that expression, " He who knows not he knows not he knows not is a fool?" He is a bit like that. Needs to learn the hard way but insists that he's right.

 

My other two kids are easy. My eldest has always been difficult, always, in everything. I will continue to homeschool him because he needs it, kwim? I love the idea of homeschooling and it's great with my dd.

 

ETA: So we could use your prayers.

 

If it's any consolation, I often have heard that it is the most difficult child that usually surprises the parents the most when they turn out so well. A lot of strong willed kids are difficult when they are trying to find their place in the world and make sense of it all through the lens that they are seeing through, but usually those same traits make them incredible adults because they are so confident in who they are and what they believe.

[Mesa]

I have a 4 yr old that sounds an awful lot like your eldest.

[asta]

I'm not sure I can describe this very well, but homeschooling was VERY hard for me until I *owned* it. And that wasn't until the end of my oldest's 4th grade year (we've always homeschooled). I had to get to a place of knowing why I was doing it and that there were no better options. I had to stop thinking it was a temporary school solution and realize we wanted it to be our permanent lifestyle.

 

Chelle

 

:iagree:

 

We started HSing a year after DS started learning the bagpipes. When he went to one of his first lessons, the teacher pulled US aside and said "don't go into this (piping) unless you are willing to allow it to become your life. It isn't "just" an instrument - it is a culture. You have to be willing to submerge yourself, no matter what."

 

I think of that when I'm ready to kick DS out the door.

 

I also try to remember that our first year was a complete wash, that we never intended to HS high school, but that he is SUCH a great kid now - even if he has stinker days.

 

Hang in there,

 

 

a

[Catwoman]

I struggled with one of my kids, and it took my hubby to point out that I was letting him engage/discuss/argue with me over most everything. Talk about draining! We then changed our approach, and took big steps to change our bad habits.

 

If you don't mind, could you tell me what worked for you? I've been doing the same thing with my ds, and things need to change!

 

Thanks! :001_smile:

 

Cat

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Having a bad couple of years with ds. :glare:

Hey, we have the same school motto! :D :grouphug:

[radiobrain]

My older son is the complete PIA, too.

 

I find myself regularly reminding him that HS him is a privilege and that if he doesn't even *try* and keeps being so frustrating, I will not do it anymore. I also explain that I demand less of him than a school will (I mean in the way of sitting still, staying in a chair, being flexible with his output etc.) and he would quickly wish he hadn't pressed me so hard.

 

However, I am sure he knows that I just cannot send him...

 

Now, the thing is you need to do what is best for you, your kids your family, and whatever decision you make is alright.

[juls]

I put my oldest in a private school after many years of difficult homeschooling days with him. He started at the school in fifth grade. Our relationship improved dramatically and our household became so much more tolerable. Last year, my middle child announced that he too wanted to go to school, but he made this announcement during the last week of summer. We found a way to get him in the private school too and he THRIVED last year beyond my wildest dreams. It was his forth grade year and he really grew in some amazing ways- ways that I would not have seen happen at home. I now only homeschool my youngest (1st grade).

 

I believe that my kids get better education at home (they believe this too!), but I can not deny that our family functions much better when we have some separation from each other.

 

If private school were not an option for us, I would put them in public school. We evaluate from year to year though and we will bring them home again if it ever again seems to be the best option. I LOVE homeschooling, I LOVE to teach and I think I do a pretty good job of it- but I had to stop putting my desires and ideals over the health of our family. For us it's been a great decision.

 

Juls

[Dooley]

I hear you. The first year I homeschooled, our oldest was in 2nd grade. I put her back after half a year. She was DIFFICULT. Took her back out for 4th on up and had everyone home. I finally had to send her back out her freshman year, the stress was making our second dd so sick, she was in and out of the ER, did a 6 month long period of hospital testing to figure out what was wrong,with the final conclusion being STRESS. So stressed it affected her body in terrible ways. I had no choice, but, home after that was MUCH easier.

 

PS for a time is not a bad thing. If you lived here in this school system, I would say it IS a bad thing (ha ha), but if your system is ok, send him our for a time, reagain your composure and peace, re-establish order and set everything else to rights. Do what you need to do to fix stuff, you have time a head of you.

 

I used to be the kind of mom that would not under any circumstances consider PS....then life and a challenging child kept happening. My oldest dd did not get the best education she could have, but it could not have been any other way for us. KWIM? God bless you .

[KidsHappen]

It's really my eldest. I keep wondering when I am going to have wonderful memories. When is it going to be rewarding? It's his personality. He is programmed to do things the wrong way and convinced that he is doing right. What is that expression, " He who knows not he knows not he knows not is a fool?" He is a bit like that. Needs to learn the hard way but insists that he's right.

 

My other two kids are easy. My eldest has always been difficult, always, in everything. I will continue to homeschool him because he needs it, kwim? I love the idea of homeschooling and it's great with my dd.

 

ETA: So we could use your prayers.

 

 

I personally have found that if you have a child who has to learn the hard way well, then sometimes the best thing you can do is let them do that. Let them make the mistakes and suffer the consequences. As long as you can keep them out of danger and inside the law, let them fail, let them figure out they don't know everything, let them keep doing the same thing over and over again until they get it right. You get the idea. As a parent this is very hard to do but as we all know being a parent is never easy. I have several like this and I feel for you. I am sorry you are having a hard time and I will pray for you and your son.:grouphug:

[Ashkraw]

So Sorry, to hear that. I love it and it has been such a blessing. I will pray for you and your oldest.

[LG Gone Wild]

I am getting great comfort in your responses.

 

You know what is so crazy? Lots of people like my kid (I think, they could be lying to me). He is so cute, he's so sweet, he has a great spirit, he is such a good boy, he really listens to you...are these people MAD? Then again, they only see him for 5-15 minutes.

[Chelle in MO]

I am getting great comfort in your responses.

 

You know what is so crazy? Lots of people like my kid (I think, they could be lying to me). He is so cute, he's so sweet, he has a great spirit, he is such a good boy, he really listens to you...are these people MAD? Then again, they only see him for 5-15 minutes.

LG, I think LOTS of people feel like that. I know I do. Children are often better around others than they are around their parents. That means that they are comfortable and they feel safe.

 

Stay strong! I'm really feeling for you.

 

Chelle