Jennefer@SSA Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 My youngest just turned 3 this past week. He is a very passionate child and very emotive. He is either 110% happy or 110% ticked off. ;) He is very animated and a little "drama king"! Full of life and full of personality. We have gotten to a place where he cries all.the.time. I am talking at least 30 times a day. Anytime he doesn't get his way he is crying. If I don't meet his need (perceived or real) the very second he mentions it, he is crying and often screaming. There are a lot of reasons we've gotten to this point. He is the youngest of 3. His oldest brother has Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD. He requires a lot of attention, especially during homeschooling. I need to be right by his side for him to stay on task. Unfortunately I think I have been way too focused on big brother and ds3 has learned to get his way by demanding his needs be met by screaming. Also, ds8 is a classic Aspie in that things have to be his way. He gives very little grace and very often infuriates his little brother by demanding that things be done to an exact specification. Typically ds8 doesn't even realize what he's done to tick ds3 off. Just in his black and white mindset, little brother wasn't following the rules. There is no accounting in his mind for the fact that he is just a little guy learning the rules and needs guidance. Hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I would have done some things differently for sure. Also if he doesn't want to follow a request I have made, the crying starts. I asked him to pick up his cars (about 10 of them) and put them in the car bucket. The crying and wailing started. "No Mom. I want you do it!" I don't give in. I make him do it every single time. Yet he hasn't seemed to clue into that. I read an article recently (can't remember source) but this particular mom mentioned that she felt that by the age of 1 you missed the boat if you were not established as the (loving) authority and obedience taught. I surely missed the boat on that one. So here I am. I have decided that I will not (honestly cannot - the mood in our home is really getting to me with all the screaming and crying) tolerate the crying anymore. I have a plan and would love some feedback from others who may have had a similar experience. Starting yesterday every time he cries I ask him to stop and make his request his "big boy voice"(he knows that this means no crying or screaming). If the crying doesn't stop right away, I put him in my room and lay him on my bed. I tell him he can come out when he is ready to be done crying and has a happy heart. Right now we are in the "it gets worse before it gets better" stage. He is really testing to see if I mean what I say. He sat on my bed no less than 20 times yesterday and already 4 times this morning. He sits anywhere from 3-10 minutes and then he will walk out of my room calm and happy. I would love some feedback from others. Am I expecting too much? Any other ideas. Feedback? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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