Gooooooooood Mother-in-law Thread

[Brindee]

:001_smile: I'm starting this as a spin-off of the baaaaad mil thread! :001_smile:

 

So, what's the best thing about your mil (and fil)?

 

I adore my mil! She and fil are ALWAYS positive about dh's and my choices. They may not agree whole-heartedly, but they are ALWAYS supportive!

 

They are very pleased with dh's and my marriage, and when they call to talk, I'll talk for awhile, then say, "Would you like to speak to your son?" They'll say, "That's not neccessary, we're enjoying talking with YOU!" :D

 

I can't begin to list all the great things about them! I feel very, very blessed!

[phathui5]

My mother in law always asks me to pick the restaraunt when we go out because she thinks I find the best places to eat.

 

She's totally supportive of me breastfeeding, homeschooling, etc. She even thought it was cool when I had baby #4 at home.

 

She watches the kids for us about once a month.

[Night Elf]

I LOVE my MIL! She rocks! She's not a negative person and she and her sisters are too much fun! And their children with their children. Oh my, I love my DH's side of the family. I've never had a cross word or a problem with my MIL. Her response to our decision to homeschool was "Good! Schools aren't like they were when I was young." :)

[TN Mama]

The best thing about my MIL is that she birthed my wonderfully, fabulous husband. And she obviously raised him right. I've thanked her many times over for the way he was raised. He's wonderful. :001_wub:

[Carol in Cal.]

She epitomizes love, acceptance, and fun.

 

Even though she has health problems, she is normally not depressed and not depressing.

 

She takes an interest in our non-standard choices, and gives her opinions about them, but always in a way that makes it clear that these are our decisions.

 

And she plays a mean game of Scrabble!

[JennW in SoCal]

I adore my MIL! She is positive, funny, nurturing and supportive -- all the things my own mother never was. She lives in Hawaii, too, so we get to enjoy a great tourist destination and enjoy ourselves visiting with her. What could be better?!

 

She is the only grandparent left now for my kids and for most of her other grandkids, and they all love spending time with her. I hope I will be lucky enough to have an equally positive relationship with my future daughters-in-law and grandkids.

 

She is arriving to visit us in a few days, a rare treat because we usually are the ones doing the visiting. We're frantically cleaning the house which is suffering from the end of the school year clutter and dust and dog hair tribbles...

[AndyJoy]

I love my mother-in-law. She gets me the BEST presents. She takes the time to get to know my craft & hobby interests and gets me related tools. If you look at my photo albums, all the cakes I made were with cake decorating items she bought me! She emails me with links for recipes she thinks I will like, calls to see how my pregnancy is progressing, and just generally thinks of me in little ways. Even when I can tell she disagrees with our plans (like homeschooling) she keeps her thoughts to herself.

 

I love having her come to visit. She doesn't criticize anything I do and is very helpful. In July, she is actually flying me to Idaho where my parents live so she and I can go on a baby clothes shopping spree with my mom! How cool is that?

[Caroline]

My DMIL rocks. She likes me best of all of her DILs. (That isn't why she rocks, but it is nice.) And she loves my kids. And she raised my husband, who is absolutely wonderfully incredible. She is supportive of us. I really like her. She is an amazing mom, and I should know because I have an amazing mom. I just really love her and having her in my family's life. She went to the beach with us even though she cannot swim. And she gave me her son. Did I mention what a great person he is?

[specialmama]

The best thing about my MIL is that she raised my husband. :001_smile: She loves my kids to no end and spoils them. She is very generous with money... not time unfortunately, but money. It's just her way of saying she loves us so I humbly accept. Her and my FIL paid for my dh, myself and my dd to spend 3 weeks in Greece last September. They paid for everything. It was our first vacation. We've never been able to afford to go anywhere, so it was a trip of a lifetime. I'm so thankful for that!

[Brindee]

Yes, I meant to say that, but somehow it didn't get in my original post---One of the greatest things she (and fil) did was have and raise their son, who is the best husband ever! I LOVE dh's whole family, but especially dh of course (21 years of marriage and counting)!:001_wub::001_tt1:

[FlockOfSillies]

I feel so sorry for all you other people with MILs, 'cause mine's the best. :D (kidding! about the bragging thing, not the MIL thing)

 

She loves babysitting the kids, and takes them whenever she can, but she doesn't nag me to do it when I don't need it.

 

She gives her advice, and lets us do with it what we choose. And she doesn't berate us when we don't follow her advice, or when things go kerplooey.

 

She lent us money when we were first married.

 

She's pretty easy to buy gifts for, and she's always genuinely appreciative.

 

She remembers all of our birthdays with cards and small money gifts. The kids even get Easter and Valentine cards. Dang! I need to call her, and it's almost 6 p.m.!

 

She doesn't meddle.

 

She's so undramatic, it's amazing. She's like the Anti-Drama Queen.

 

Both she and my FIL are fabulous.

[Laurie4b]

Thanks for this thread! The bad mil threads make me worry about my future with my sons if I get a dil who really dislikes me.

 

Like others, I'm thankful that my mil did a good job raising my wonderful dh. My relationship with her is neutral. They live a day's drive away and don't visit us. I encourage dh to visit them, however, if a business trip takes him nearby, and we divide up time between his family and mine evenly (we have to travel to see anyone). I work to honor and encourage their relationship even though I feel like I don't particularly have one with her. She's not negative, though--it's just that her primary way of relating is to do things for people and we don't live nearby, so... anyway, I would have wished for more, especially for my children, but I've let that go and am happy that dh and she can maintain ties.

[May]

She raised my husband to be a man of God, she loved our girls and would always remember birthdays and holidays. She died a few years back and I still miss her early morning calls.

[Brindee]

 

She raised my husband to be a man of God, she loved our girls and would always remember birthdays and holidays. She died a few years back and I still miss her early morning calls.

:grouphug: As my parents and my in-laws get older, I sometimes think, 'NO! I don't WANT them to get older!" I love them so much that when I get those melancholy thoughts now and then, it makes me sad to think of not having them anymore!:001_unsure: In the meantime, we enjoy them as much as possible!:001_smile:

[WTMCassandra]

This is a good thread and I'm enjoying reading it! I'm learning a lot from these examples of how to re-invent MIL-hood when my time comes.

[ncmomo3]

My MIL once told me that she couldn't have picked a better wife for her son than me. That was incredible to hear and has stuck with me.

[nova mama]

I just posted my astonishment at some of these incredible MIL stories. It's just unfathomable. Maybe because I couldn't have asked for better in-laws. My mother-, father-, and sisters-in-law (as well as their son, my DH) are the kindest and most generous people I've ever met. From the moment I met them, they've treated me as one of the family. They have never said a single critical or unkind thing to me. I am so very, very grateful.

[HeatherInWI]

I had a wonderful mother-in-law, but she died about six months ago.

 

She was bright, loving, sweet, and always, always, a true lady in every situation. No matter what, she looked at the bright side of life and radiated contentedness. I've always felt blessed that I was given such a rare sort of mother-in-law.

[Mama Anna]

My MIL is great because she has so much practice - I think she was a MIL for about 20 years or so before her youngest son married me. She knows how to not criticize our choices (even when they terrify her), how to not say "I told you so" (when our choice crashes and burns, fulfilling her original fear) how to not attach strings to her gifts, and even helps me and the girls get to know her dh a little better. (He generally has two subjects of conversation: politics and . . . politics . . . which make "getting to know Grandpa" a little difficult for preschoolers.) AND, she adopted my dh as a baby pretty late in her life and raised him to be a man who knows how to listen to a woman. Can I just say how incredible that is? I wish I had a closer relationship with her, but I'm not big on phone conversations and she isn't big on email. Oh, and we live about 11 hours from each other . . .

[dhudson]

My MIL is the funniest ever. She picks an accent and then springs it on my as we are shopping and waits for me to explain to the clerk what she's wanting.:lol:

 

She loves to play with my kids - get on the floor and build legos or castles or draw or just play a game.

 

She prays for us daily and when she prays, things happen.

 

She compliments me and my dh about our children.

 

She and FIL are willing and eager to take our kids for breaks. She never even blinked an eye when my dh asked her to watch the kids while we went to England and Scotland - for 15 days.

 

The best thing about my MIL? When my kids are with her, she even home schools them!

[LibraryLover]

Oh, thank you! I was beginning to think the whole world had gone mad!

 

My MIL is a gem (and my other is as well). My best MIL stories are from about 8 or 9 years ago, when all of my kids were teeny.

 

My MIL used to cook for us!

 

I remember one particularly long day....the baby was in a growth spurt, nursing all day, the kids were cranky, dh was working away, the AC was not working well, the kids were covered in sticky juice. barely wearing clothing. That's the scene. Hot, sticky, miserable, dirty.

 

She shows up with food; chicken soup (the kids love it, but it was too hot to cook) and whatever else. I don't remember. The kids run to the door, filthy, half naked, sticky, all happy to see her, reaching up, laughing. She looks at me, smiles, and says (in accented English, since it's not her first language), "You are the happiest children I have ever seen!". She looks at me like I am a goddess.

 

That's my MIL.

[specialmama]

My MIL is the funniest ever. She picks an accent and then springs it on my as we are shopping and waits for me to explain to the clerk what she's wanting.:lol:

 

She loves to play with my kids - get on the floor and build legos or castles or draw or just play a game.

 

She prays for us daily and when she prays, things happen.

 

She compliments me and my dh about our children.

 

She and FIL are willing and eager to take our kids for breaks. She never even blinked an eye when my dh asked her to watch the kids while we went to England and Scotland - for 15 days.

 

The best thing about my MIL? When my kids are with her, she even home schools them!

 

Wow... just... wow! You are blessed indeed!!! That's exactly the kind of MIL I want to be!!!

[Carol in Cal.]

Oh, thank you! I was beginning to think the whole world had gone mad!

 

My MIL is a gem (and my other is as well). My best MIL stories are from about 8 or 9 years ago, when all of my kids were teeny.

 

My MIL used to cook for us!

 

I remember one particularly long day....the baby was in a growth spurt, nursing all day, the kids were cranky, dh was working away, the AC was not working well, the kids were covered in sticky juice. barely wearing clothing. That's the scene. Hot, sticky, miserable, dirty.

 

She shows up with food; chicken soup (the kids love it, but it was too hot to cook) and whatever else. I don't remember. The kids run to the door, filthy, half naked, sticky, all happy to see her, reaching up, laughing. She looks at me, smiles, and says (in accented English, since it's not her first language), "You are the happiest children I have ever seen!". She looks at me like I am a goddess.

 

That's my MIL.

 

She was visiting us for DD's baptism, and I was hosting a party for the occasion. I had had gall bladder surgery a few weeks before, and I was still tiring easily. One day I had a ton of errands to run, and she said that she would come along and sit in the car for each one, so that I could leave DD in the car instead of taking her into every little store. I got 5-6 things done, all in a row, instead of just the 1-2 that I would have finished otherwise. It was so sweet and thoughtful. I never would have asked her to do something like that.

[newlifemom]

Mine is wonderful for too many reasons to list them all. Two that come to mind are :

 

1. She has always been amazingly happy when we tell her we are pregnant and devastatingly sad when we have lost them. [My own mother won't even discuss this with me anymore. I have too many as it is.:glare:]

 

2. Last year when dh was out of work, she kept us afloat. Again, my parents never even asked if we needed anything. He was out of work for so long. I wonder if my own parents even thought about how our bills were getting paid.

[vettechmomof2]

good m-i-l here as well. No real amazing stories just a happy family which I was lucky enough to join a little over 10 years ago.

:)

[Danestress]

It always bums me out when women dislike their MILs (even though I'm sure it's legitimate) because I imagine myself in the MIL's shoes. I want my DILs to love me!

 

I have a great MIL. She's fiesty, independent, smart as a whip, and very non-critical. We just celebrated her 75th birthday and she spent it at Pilates and Yoga classes.

 

She's one of those people who always seems young because she's always ready to try something new. She is an advertiser's dream because she really wants to try out whatever new products are out there, and she's always watching both kid and adult fashions. She never fails to know what looks "cool" for kids at whatever age my kids are. She's fun that way - always up for a new idea. She likes to eat at restaurants that open in town and keeps an eye out for movies that look good. She'll try the lime green jacket or the metallic silver shoes. I mean, it looks bad, but it's great that she's always so "game."

 

She laughs as much as anyone I know, and her life hasn't always been something that would make you feel like laughing. She was a caregiver to a husband with Parkinson's for 10 years, and then when he died, she packed up her house and moved in to care for her mother for 6 more. By the time her mother passed, she was 95 and MIL was 73 and it was a very tough situation. MIL was very isolated in a small town in Nebraska, and that's not her idea life. But when I would call her, she would be honest about the challenges but would laugh about whatever I told her the boys were doing, and was just so easy to talk to. She's just easy with her laughter.

 

I guess you could say she has a good attitude.

 

She also has the best stories of anyone I know. For one thing, if she stops at the gas station for a coke, there will be a great story to come out of it, but she also had a very interesting life growing up in Oklahoma on what had been reservation land (her people were Cherokee). She really knows how to tell as story, and I just find her very entertaining.

 

She's not someone who is really free with compliments, but she has said that I am a good Mom (my Mom says it every single day, and she's said it once, but I know she meant it). She doesn't "gush" like women in my family do, but she loves me and I know that. She told me when I was pregnant that she hoped one of the babies would look like me. How sweet is that?

[Lisa in Jax]

When my daughter was born with Group B Strep, she dropped everything to come help. Then she really *did* help -- cooking food, washing clothes, cleaning my house, running errands, feeding the dog, sittting with us, rocking Kaley, and being a rock for dh and me, so what we could stay with Kaley for the entire 12 days she spent in the hospital.

 

Several years later, when our kids from India came home and exhibited HUGE behavior problems, she listened, w/o judging, and accepted what we told her about their attachment disorder. She never once questioned us. She supported us and made a difficult situation easier, when many people would have just told us to spank them, or medicate, or give in to their tantrums.

 

My FIL is a wonderful man, too. He's a man of few words, but if you listen carefully, you'll hear some subtley hilarious stuff. He's full of common sense and uncommon kindness. Together, they raised my wonderful, kind, caring hubby.

 

Lisa

[JoyfulMama]

My MIL and I don't always see eye to eye, and we don't always communicate effectively, but I am blessed to have her. She told me a long time ago that she will try not to offer anything, as she doesn't want to step in where she's not needed or wanted, but all I need to do is ask for anything at all. She's kind and thoughtful, and has stepped in on a moment's notice to help out. I know she loves me and my children dearly, and I couldn't ask for anything more than that.

[Crissy]

My mother-in-law is an incredible woman.

Somewhere in the process of raising six boys (twins, single, single, twins), she learned how to let her boys grow into wonderful men without being overbearing. Maybe she was always that way, but she says giving birth to six boys in just over four years taught her to relax. If she hadn't, she claims, she'd have never made it through their adolescent years.

She adores each of her daughters-in-law and is a terrific grandmother, as well.

[SBP]

We lost my MIL a few months ago, at Christmas time. She and I didn't have a lot in common, but she never, ever interfered in my marriage or in the way we're raising our children. I think the whole idea of homeschooling was a bit foreign to her, but she was always supportive and encouraging. Most of all, though, she was an incredible grandmother to my children - generous not just with material things but with her time and her love and her patience. She would listen to the same joke 20 times in a row and laugh just as hard the 20th time as she had the first. She would let them help her with everything she did, even if their "help" was clearly more of a hindrance. She never got upset about dirty footprints or handprints or spilled drinks. She would play games and sing songs and work puzzles and just basically meet them on their level, without ever acting as if she had more important things to do or other places to be. I love my children fiercely, but I'm sorry to say that I don't always remember to love them like that. I am grateful that they were blessed with "Gran" for the first half of their childhoods, and I wish so much that we could have had her with us longer.

 

SBP

[stripe]

What a nice thread. So pleasant to read and so inspiring.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I never met my MIL because she did several years before dh and I met. However, she must have been a good woman because she reaised a wonderful son.

 

FIL is the best. He has never said a negative comment to me - ever! During the school year, he comes up to watch the kids so that I can go to Bible study. He has done this for 6 years. This man is 81 years old and still takes the time and energy to drive over 35 minutes to be with his grandkids and free me from the guilt of leaving my kids so tha I can have that spiritual shot in the arm.

 

Dh's Aunt Mary is not a mother in law, but she has been a mother figure in dh's live since him mom died. She has always been so sweet to me. I remember one day whan I was feeling particularly overwhelmed with parenting in general and getting nothing but criticism from my family, Mary pulled me aside and told me "You are a wonderful mother!" I burst into tears. No one has ever affirmed me that way.

Edited May 19, 2009 by dirty ethel rackham
homage to dear aunt mary

[Tree House Academy]

My MIL and I had our differences at first, but as we both get older, we get along much better. I see the little things I can do to bring joy to her and it changes her whole demeanor. Now I let most comments just roll off my back. She is also starting into Alzheimers and I try hard to overlook some of it knowing that it is the disease...and it very well may have been the disease even back when the comments were worse. My running joke is that she forgot to hate me. ;)

[PiCO]

She can get on my nerves, because she talks too much- but I still love her.

 

She had a hard life- her mother was "ill" (probably depressed) and would not leave her room starting when mil was a pre-teen. Mil cooked and cleaned for her dad and 5 siblings from that time on, dropping out of school at a young age. But mil always read everything she could get her hands on, so she is very smart and knowledgeable.

 

My mil has taught me so much about keeping house and raising a family, without ever stepping on my toes or making me feel bad when she showed up and my house was a mess. She just started cleaning! Mil came to visit after both of my c-sections. My house was never cleaner. She also taught me to make home-made noodles and fried chicken.

 

My husband's brother married a woman that I did not care for (understatement,) and mil was very nice to her and really tried to be supportive. I think that says a lot for a mil. (Bil is on his second wife, and she's a keeper.)

 

Thanks for starting this thread- I'm off to write a letter to mil. She had a stroke last year, so she's not getting around like she used to. I need to show her more loving!

[Brindee]

Thanks for starting this thread- I'm off to write a letter to mil. She had a stroke last year, so she's not getting around like she used to. I need to show her more loving!

Great idea, I should do that too!

 

I have tears in my eyes reading all these! What beautiful tributes to some beautiful people! I agree with what some of you said---I only hope I can be as great a mil as my mil and yours!

 

Thankyou everyone for sharing!:grouphug:

[Impish]

I came into this thread, prepared to make some smart aleck remark about the best thing about my MIL, but then started reading...and out of respect for everything that's been shared, I'm not going to do that at all.

 

I'd just like to say that you are all incredibly blessed, and I can honestly say that I wish, I really, truly do, that I could join in this thread as its meant to be. But reading this thread gives me a good perspective of how GOOD mil/dil relationships are, and its something I'm tucking away in my memory for when my turn comes.

[Ohdanigirl]

If you saw my post on the other thread you will understand...

 

1. Gave birth to my dh.

 

2. Has made a big effert in the last year or so to improve her life, get along with dh and BIL who lives with us.

 

3. keeps her promises to my kids and comes to our house on her best behavior and all smiles.

 

4. I think she is beginng to like spending time with me more than dh and BIL, LOL. Ironic.

 

5. Best of all She seems to be getting her life together.

 

I have seen a lot of improvement in her and have tried to help dh and BIL see it as well....they are not as forgiving as I am. Everybody deserved a second chance....YES, EVEN MILs

[Blessedfamily]

My MIL makes an conscious effort not to interfere with any of her kids' marriages. She's very supportive of what we do with the kids, especially homeschooling.

 

Also, she listens to my 5yo prattle on and on about "this and that" on the phone while I take a break. She also listens to the 1yo's gibberish on the phone and pretends to converse. :001_smile:

[MelanieM]

What an uplifting, beautiful thread! I have loved reading everyone's posts of appreciation, and am sitting here all teary eyed.

 

My MIL is such a wonderful person! When I first got together with her son, she sent me a card and told me that she had never seen him so happy and thanked me for that. And this is not an outwardly emotional woman, so a very big deal!

 

She's smart, funny, active (more active than me!), heavily involved in her community, loves people, and is so very interesting. When we visit her (in another province) she likes to arrange dinners with other people she has met that she thinks we'll like. (We're all very social, so this is a good thing!)

 

She never offers up an opinion unless we ask for it. Though there was the one time when my first child was a baby and I mentioned I wanted to homeschool... she squeeked out some protest and sputtered a bit before she could stop herself. LOL! But even though I know she feels homeschooling is not the best option, she has never criticized us about it and never brings it up in a negative light. In fact, she will go out of her way to tell me things she hears supportive of homeschooling!

 

She clips interesting things from newspapers that she feels I might be interested in and sends them to me. I find it so very sweet that she pays attention to my interests and then holds me in her thoughts enough to notice these things in her travels.

 

She loves all of her grandkids and enjoys doing things with them. For the ones that live nearby, she spends time with them every week, takes them to museums and shows, and helps facilitate their interests in a variety of ways. (My oldest nephew lived with her during the week this year because the private school his family wanted for him was closer to her.) For my kids that are away, she calls and sends cards and emails them regularly. When she visits, she happily offers to take them off to the library or museum or wherever else they might want to go.

 

Most special of all, she gave me my wonderful husband! And I could write pages more on how fabulous he is, and how much I appreciate his parents for their role in that. (I also adore my SIL, who is one of the most fascinating people I've ever met!)

 

Gosh, I could go on and on! I really love this woman! Thank you for starting this thread, and giving us all the invitation to share our love and appreciation in this way! A great way to start the day. :D

[iquilt]

They live 5 states away :) They are super grandparents who visit all of the time and insist on our visiting several times a year, but the kids have a fabulous relationship with them as grandparents. I don't have to deal with much criticism anymore because she's so busy with the kids.

[SquirrellyMama]

I like my mil too. The best thing about my mil and fil is that they mind their own business. If they don't agree with us they don't say anything. They let us do our own thing without unwanted advice unlike my own mother and father.

[Ohdanigirl]

My MIL makes an conscious effort not to interfere with any of her kids' marriages. She's very supportive of what we do with the kids, especially homeschooling.

 

Also, she listens to my 5yo prattle on and on about "this and that" on the phone while I take a break. She also listens to the 1yo's gibberish on the phone and pretends to converse. :001_smile:

 

 

CUTE!

[Irene Lynn]

I have a great MIL, too. My home life was not too great and I had not good models to follow. Before we were even married my MIL gave me a necklace that was a family heirloom sort of thing. I was so touched. Our family was pretty stingy. She also modeled hospitality to me. I am still in awe of her ability to completely fill a table with good things to eat from the time it takes the visitors to pull into the drive to knocking at the door. Then she nearly begs them to eat it all as though it will do her a great service, if they do.

 

She has made a big point of staying out of our business. Her own mother called her every day of her life and she didn't want to do that to her children. She was also a teacher for years, so I know that the homeschooling idea was a stretch for her. She has never criticized our decision, but has educated herself on the idea.

 

She has been a wonderful grandmother, even though she lives quite far away. I wish she were closer. She still loves to learn. A new strange and unusual sight in the sky or animal or bug on the ground will be enough to get her to stop what she is doing to investigate. And she will probably bring a camera to help her in her research to identify this new phenomenon properly. She even compliments our parenting, which is sweet and gracious of her.

[sagira]

I have been blessed with one of the most generous, kind, unassuming, quiet and lovely persons for a MIL. She's awesome.

 

Dh works for her and his dad and she gives his time off whenever he needs it or to spend time with us. She's also sweet with the grandchildren. Although she doesn't approve of our homeschooling, she tells dh but not I, and infrequently at that.

Edited May 19, 2009 by sagira

[Brindee]

She has been a wonderful grandmother, even though she lives quite far away. I wish she were closer.

:iagree:

A lot of what you said is like my mil! The above quote is exactly how I feel about her! We live on opposite sides of the country, so don't get to see each other often anymore. If I had a choice I'd live near them in a heartbeat! My dd is her only granddaughter, and mil'd LOVE to have dd closer to teach her to sew and quilt, and do grandma/granddaughter things with! I guess mil's ONLY "beef" with us is that we don't live closer to them!:001_smile: Wish we did!!!

[WTMindy]

Here are a few things that I have learned from my mother-in-law that I want to do with my future dil.

 

She initiates getting together with the kids and me.

She asks me every year what she can do to help me.

She has my family over for dinner once a week and she tells me that I am free to stay home if I want time alone or come along, and doesn't get offended if I choose to stay home.

She looks for things to teach the kids (piano, sewing, cooking, etc)

She invests spiritually in the the kids

She plans monthly fun activities for the grandkids.

She comes to all the kids events.

She is interested in my life and asks me lots of questions.

She treats me like a daughter.

 

She is an amazing woman and I feel very fortunate to have her as a mother-in-law!!

[Greta]

My parents loved and adored their in-laws, and my grandparents loved their children-in-law as much as they loved their own children. With those role models, I always looked forward to the relationship I would have with my in-laws. But unfortunately, my husband's father died of cancer, and his mother was killed in a car accident shortly before I met him. So I never got the chance to know them, and my daughter of course has never known her grandparents. I feel the absence of them in our lives, and wish very very much that they'd had a chance to know their granddaughter. From what I know of them, I especially think that I would have loved my mother-in-law. My husband assures me that she would have loved me too, and while that's nice to hear, I sure wish I could have heard it from her.

Edited May 19, 2009 by GretaLynne

[Brindee]

 

But unfortunately, my husband's father died of cancer, and his mother was killed in a car accident shortly before I met him. So I never got the chance to know them

:001_huh: Awwwww, I'm sorry! My in-laws would adopt your dh, so you could have them as in-laws! I'm willing to share, and I just know you'd LOVE them!:001_smile:

[Crissy]

Here are a few things that I have learned from my mother-in-law that I want to do with my future dil.

 

She initiates getting together with the kids and me.

She asks me every year what she can do to help me.

She has my family over for dinner once a week and she tells me that I am free to stay home if I want time alone or come along, and doesn't get offended if I choose to stay home.

She looks for things to teach the kids (piano, sewing, cooking, etc)

She invests spiritually in the the kids

She plans monthly fun activities for the grandkids.

She comes to all the kids events.

She is interested in my life and asks me lots of questions.

She treats me like a daughter.

 

She is an amazing woman and I feel very fortunate to have her as a mother-in-law!!

 

She sounds as wonderful as the rest of your family!

[Greta]

:001_huh: Awwwww, I'm sorry! My in-laws would adopt your dh, so you could have them as in-laws! I'm willing to share, and I just know you'd LOVE them!:001_smile:

 

Hey, we'll take you up on that offer! My poor dh feels that he has really missed out by never having an adult relationship with his parents. I know my relationship with my own parents has been so different since I reached adulthood, and they could relax and not having to worry about "raising me right" and we could just enjoy each others' company! I wish he had had the chance to experience that too. And I know how much my dd would love another set of grandparents to spoil her! :lol: So count us in!

 

Thanks, you really made me smile. And this whole thread has been so touching that it brought tears to my eyes. I may have missed out on having in-laws, but now I know what to aim for when it's my turn to be the in-law. Thanks for starting this uplifting conversation!