Feeling sad - Mom said she doesn't think I can homeschool :(

[Alphabetika]

I'm sorry you've had to hear this from your own mom. How discouraging!

 

You've gotten wonderful responses and you sound like a fabulous mom and homeschooler. I don't think I can add anything unique to the advice you've gotten, but I wanted to share a story about our homeschooling.

 

We went through a period of about two years when we did little "formal school" at all, because of serious health issues (both of my parents and dh) and a death in our family. Because of the attention I had to give to these people in my life, I simply wasn't able to continue schooling in the way I would have done if life had been "normal." My older dd was able to do some independent work, but younger dd was mostly along for the ride.

 

During this time, my mom had a near-death illness and my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer and died a year later. If my children had been in school, not only would life have been even more of a whirlwind, but they would not have been able to spend nearly as much time with their grandpa while he was dying. It sounds morbid when I say it that way, but that's really what I mean; I wanted them to continue their relationship with him even though he was going to die and we knew it. When my dh had emergency surgery and was home for 2.5 months recovering (while my mom was recovering from her near-death and my dad was being treated for his cancer), I wanted them at home to encourage him and even to help with his care in small ways. When my dad died and my mom moved in with us, I was thrilled (and still am) that they are able to spend so much time with her and have a close, loving, learning relationship with their grandmother, as well as see what it means to care for someone who needs help in many areas.

 

I'm not expressing myself too well, but what I really mean to say is that homeschooling means vastly more than *school*. It means life, and reality, and relationship. When my older dd and I talk about those years that seemed pure grief and hardship, we agree that we would not trade them for anything because of what God taught us both about reality, sticking together through hardship, serving others, and so many other things. I have a feeling my younger dd feels this way, too, though she hasn't expressed it that way. The security of being within your own family day-to-day, even when your family is hit by wave after wave of strangeness and sadness, simply cannot compare with being in a school setting. Not for learning, not for relationship, not for life.

 

So, while your family is not likely to go through what we went through, I just want to encourage you that there's no better place for your children than with your own family. They will learn more than they'd learn in school and in a vast number of different areas that cannot even be touched on in school in a way that reflects reality.

 

If it matters, my girls are both doing very well academically even after all of that, but you've probably guessed that this isn't my main point.....:tongue_smilie:

 

Many blessings to you and your family, and squeeze that little baby!

[sagira]

I'm sorry you've had to hear this from your own mom. How discouraging!

 

I'm not expressing myself too well, but what I really mean to say is that homeschooling means vastly more than *school*. It means life, and reality, and relationship. When my older dd and I talk about those years that seemed pure grief and hardship, we agree that we would not trade them for anything because of what God taught us both about reality, sticking together through hardship, serving others, and so many other things. I have a feeling my younger dd feels this way, too, though she hasn't expressed it that way. The security of being within your own family day-to-day, even when your family is hit by wave after wave of strangeness and sadness, simply cannot compare with being in a school setting. Not for learning, not for relationship, not for life.

 

So, while your family is not likely to go through what we went through, I just want to encourage you that there's no better place for your children than with your own family. They will learn more than they'd learn in school and in a vast number of different areas that cannot even be touched on in school in a way that reflects reality.

 

If it matters, my girls are both doing very well academically even after all of that, but you've probably guessed that this isn't my main point.....:tongue_smilie:

 

Many blessings to you and your family, and squeeze that little baby!

 

:iagree:

 

First of all, congratulations with your pregnancy :)

 

As soon as I read your post, Mitchell Mom, I was reminded of myself two plus years ago. I was pregnant, wondering and worrying if ds (then 3) shouldn't be in preschool instead. He watched a lot of videos the first three months of my pregnancy as I struggled with extreme tiredness and morning (all day!) sickness. A dear friend of mine, and experienced hser, reminded me gently that the school of life is perhaps the main reason most of us are homeschooling. Ds learned to fetch me water, care for others by helping to care for me, and after dd was born to care for his sibling and how to be a big brother. These are all important things that I wouldn't trade for the world.

 

I know just how stepped on feelings (try squashed) can be when you're pregnant and my mother would, and has said, things like that. I feel for you. Hang in there and this, too, shall pass. Be gentle with yourself and your baby :grouphug:

[LadyAberlin]

I was homeschooled and one of my friend's mom had a baby on Sept 10th and they took the whole year off. Guess what? My friend ended up a Nat'l merit scholar and had a full ride to college. Didn't hurt her int he least :) You are ahead as it is. It won't hurt anything to take a short break. I had a baby in Sept and my son that I was doing prek with was 3. We still did pre k. It actually was fairly easy when they aren't craweling yet. Then they start getting into things. Mine were never happy to take naps or be in standers or play pens or high chairs. So if was difficult but we still managed to get enough school in. My oldest with be kindergarten age in the fall and he is already way ahead of the game and we don't school everyday. Ignore your mom. My grandma was the same way when my mom started homeschooling and now she supports it. My dad was shure my mom could do it when she started homeschooling and now he is very supportive. My mom is still homeschooling she has been homeschooling since 1988. So hang in there. I know it is discouraging, but you can do it. At this age you only need to focus on math and reading. If you see my siggy I like doing lots of subjects, but you don't have to and when you have the baby you may just need to do the 2 for a while. They won't get behind.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Because she's your mom and you want to maintain a good relationship, you might want to divert her "helpfulness" into an appropriate method... like Mom you are so great with art projects, would you like to come over and do one once a month? Or take the kids to the local symphony's children's performances if she's a music lover... that kind of thing.

 

Tana

 

I just want to point out that part of having a good relationship with someone is having appropriate boundaries. My mother was so horrified that I was homeschooling that she offered me money to send my son to preschool - yep that newfangled option that we never went to as children. That was the day I grew a backbone and put the boundary in place that allowed me to be a grown up in the relationship, not a child.

 

I told my mom that hubby and I are the parents and that we make the decisions about our children's future. That I understood that she wanted what was best for your grandchildren, but it wasn't her decision. I said that I was terribly offended that she did not believe I was capable of researching the issue and coming up with an intelligent, well-reasoned decision. I went further to establish the boundary by saying that if she did not have to like it and if she could not be supportive of homeschooling or even discuss it respectfully, then we would not discuss it all all. Mom hung up on me. We didn't talk for two months (her choice.) After that, she has slowly come around and has since determined that homeschooling has been a great thing for my kids. I have heard her bragging about my kiddos to whoever will listen.

 

When the boundary can be established and respected, then Grandma can be a great asset to homeschooling by bringing in her talents. If Grandma is concerned, she can either keep mum or she can come over and be that extra pair of hands or ears to help out, but she is not welcome to sit over there and tsk tsk about what a terrible thing this is.

Edited April 17, 2009 by dirty ethel rackham

[Impish]

First of all, congrats on the baby to be!

 

When I pulled Diva, I had a 5 mth old, a 2 yr old, and was completely unprepared to homeschool, but knew I couldn't allow her another second at school.

 

Not only did we manage, but her test scores on basic skills assessment improved dramatically...her lowest one putting her a grade and a half above where she was at. Her highest was 4 grade levels above :001_huh:

 

Then this past spring I was hit with a work injury thats left me permanently disabled, with severe chronic pain. We're still homeschooling, and determined to hs the littles as well.

 

It absolutely can be done. You flex were you need to. Baby naps, and its snuggle up and read a book time. You figure it out as you go. Be easy on yourself, and don't demand perfection or Super Mom. You'll hit your stride once Baby's figured out their schedule.

 

And, to echo everyone else, your mother had her shot at raising kids. These kids are yours, not hers, so she doesn't get a vote.

[Lovedtodeath]

A more experienced mom told me something that made me feel so much better.

 

In the early grades, she planned on doing 4 days of school per week, and ended up with one stressful day a week using her time here to get support. Her kids did just fine on only 3 days a week of school.

 

That was a huge sigh of relief for me. And if that mom is reading this, maybe she can further reassure you.

[momuv4girls]

You have gotten MANY excellent replies. I just wanted to share also.

 

I have 4 girls. My oldest was in 5th grade, my 2nd in K , and my 3rd daughter was 2 almost 3yrs old, when I started REALLY feeling the call to homeschool. There were SO many factors but I realized it was time. My DH was not very supportive but was willing to try. THen we found out I was pregnant with number 4. My dh discouraged me from homeschooling. We started back to school the next year and it was a DISASTER. So, after 6 weeks into the year he let me pull them out. It was an interesting time with a baby going to be arriving in just a few months. We did alot of fun stuff in preparation for the baby. My oldest got MANY hours of child care credits because she learned ALOT about babies and what it takes to care for them. We took some time off and just had LIFE... but my girls Learned SO much. A year later my father was VERY ill... He died 3 months later and I was able to be a part of his final days and my girls got some more REAL life education. Their test scores were AMAZING that year even with not alot of academic structure. Here we are 8 years later and I have one daughter about to finish her associates degree, she is working as a Nanny for 2 pediatricians at the age of 19. SHe is doing VERY well. My 15yo has some learning difficulties... THANK goodness I pulled her out of school because we are getting through all of this by the grace of God. Then the younger 2: 11 and 8 are just going along learning by leaps and bounds. I say all this to let you know.. you CAN do it. You have a HUGE head start to what MANY homeschoolers have done. Give yourself a break and ENJOY your children.

 

As for your mom. My mom was not very supportive when we began homeschooling. She still isn't. BUT, I have learned that these are MY kids... not hers or the states. I am SO blessed to be home with them and know them so personally as I do.

 

I guess I wrote this for me too. TODAY I was feeling VERY low and thinking how much my kids are "lacking" academically. MY DH who was NOT a supporter at first reminded me that Our girls are reading, writing and they can do math. THey also have learned MANY life lessons and they are HAPPY and LOVED. Then I read your post and here I am giving you advice. :) God is good. Take heart and know you are NOT alone.

 

LaRessie

aka momuv4girls:D

[Testimony]

I read your post and it saddened me just to read it.

 

I did not read what anyone else wrote. I just wanted to say this:

 

If God has called you to this, trust His heart and not what any man (or woman) says. If you and your husband are solidly together on this, then trust in God.

 

I say these statements from my own experience with my mother who is very anti-homeschooling.

 

Blessings,

Karen

http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/testimony

[debbielong]

I haven't read the rest of the responses, so someone has probably already said what I'm going to say...nonetheless...

 

We are in our sixth year of homeschooling and our children are kind, generous, obedient, mature, and loving. They also all happen to be academically accelerated (but I think that comes from God and not something I have done:)).

 

Yet, the grandmas still aren't on board.

 

I spent six years running the gamut of emotions about their opposition to homeschooling: anger, resentment, sadness, determination to change their minds...you get the picture. I really thought they'd come around, like so many grandparents do, once they saw the value of homeschooling.

 

But, they haven't.

 

It finally struck me a couple of months ago, that for our parents' generation, school was a place to be "normal" and "like everyone else." This conformity is extremely important to both my mother and my mother-in-law. Being "different" is about one of the worst things you can be.

 

The value of conformity has a deep and profound grip on my kids' grandmas. I finally realized that they are embarrassed that we are homeschooling.

 

Coming to this realization was tremendously helpful to me. This understanding helped explain why, despite dramatic and obvious differences in the behavior of our children compared to other children (especially the other grandchildren), my children's grandmothers still hold to the myth that children learn how to act in school. They can't see the reality even when (or perhaps because) the truth of what happens when children spend a majority of their awake time being influenced primarily by other children is under their noses.

 

I realized I cannot change their feelings. How my children "turn out" isn't going to change their feelings. Research about the benefits of homeschooling isn't going to change their feelings. All the information in the world isn't going to change the grandmas' perspectives that we have put our children at a disadvantage by choosing a life different from the lives of other children.

 

Realizing I am off the hook was also tremendously liberating. The conformity priority is a generational issue. It isn't about me and it isn't about what I am doing.

 

I'm not resentful and I'm not righteously indignant. I have empathy for their perspective (even though mine is quite different) and I just never talk about school in front of or with them. It is just too hard for them - it makes them uncomfortable.

 

I am really sorry your mom hurt your feelings. I hope you will make your homeschooling decision based on the best interest of your children. That is the most important deciding factor. Having mom excited is a bonus:)

[siloam]

Jessie,

 

I will jump in and add my experience. I only read the first page through, and I am sure I will repeat what others have said.

 

When my oldest was 4.75 I tried to hs her for pre-k. I was about 8 months along with my 4th and it was miserable, so before I even started I stopped. Took a whole year off while my ds was born. Of course I had three in diapers so there was a lot more than just the newborn going on, mostly it was emotionally draining which also left me physically exhausted. We even ate most meal off paper plates that year so I didn't have to worry about doing as many dishes. :001_huh: But a year later when my oldest was 5.75 I did pick it back up again and she was reading by the end of the year, and did will in all her other subjects as well. Now she is 5th grade and still going strong....

 

Oh and it was only in the last few years that I have gotten to a point where we have a lot of consistency in hsing. when you have little ones underfoot they do some days totally derail you, especially when you are potty training. :blink: That really is OK. It is just another season in life.

 

Heather

[LisainVirginia]

My husband totally supports homeschooling, but even he says he worries I will feel overwhelmed when the new baby is here. :(

 

 

You'll be overwhelmed when the new baby is here whether you are homeschooling or not! IMHO, You can be in the car for hours every day carting the older two somewhere and never getting the baby on a schedule, or you can be relaxed at home, let the older two be big helpers and have fun.

[laylamcb]

(My mom says my children MUST go to school to learn how NOT to act.)

 

This...does not make any sense.

 

I'm not trying to be nasty in ANY way--I'm sure that your mom meant well. But...please. On the contrary, they are much more likely to learn the opposite lesson: That bad behavior gets rewarded with attention (both positive and negative, from all quarters).

 

 

Trust your gut. You can do it! :001_smile:

[sandalwood]

Just take a deep breath and don't say anything to your Mom you'll regret later:D

 

We have homeschooled from day 1 and even though my son tests well above grade level, my mother-in-law STILL (after 6 years) talks about how "no one" does it, "only one person in their town homeschools", blah, blah....you get the story. She will *never* get it, I truly believe that.

 

My mom taught school for over 30 years and at first, was hesitant. After about 1 year of us homeschooling, she did a complete turn around and now is totally for homeschooling. She is amazed at our progress and all the time makes positive comments about it.

 

Just take a deep breath and do what is right for your family.:grouphug:

[sandalwood]

 

You'll be overwhelmed when the new baby is here whether you are homeschooling or not!

Ditto! The new baby will overwhelm you if you are homeschooling or not..... relax and enjoy this stage of your life.

[Lux Et Veritas Academy]

How would you feel about working through the summer and taking your 3 month break from Sept-Nov? I've never hsed with a baby, but lots of others have and survived. Your dd is quite ahead academically, it won't do her any harm to have a light spell and pick up again later.

 

 

I think above is a great idea- I don't believe anything your mother said- I had parents who were completely anti- and now they are thrilled with how they are turning out- go with your own gut instinct. You can only decide what is best for your kids!

[dcjlkplus3]

I didn't read all of the posts, so this may have been said already.

I think that homeschooling with the 3yo would be harder than with a newborn who is content to sleep, eat and be held. Take a few weeks off when the baby is born, while you work on adjusting.

As for your mom, I would remind her that school for a 5/6 yo probably doesn't take more than an hour or two.

From my experience, if you can get school done while pregnant, you can do it with a newborn.

If a day gets missed here and there, you will make it up. Your husband could also help in the evenings (or whenever).

 

ETA: Here in CO, you don't even have to send your children to school (or send an intent to homeschool notice) until they are 7.

I used kindergarten and 1st grade as "practise" years. I taught the oldest and practised keeping track of our days and what we were doing, so I wouldn't feel overwhelmed when we started 2nd grade this year and were "official".

Edited April 17, 2009 by dcjlkplus3
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[Di3kids]

I started hsing when my oldest was K, middle 3yrs an baby just born at the end of August. Foolishly, I gave myself only two weeks after my precious baby was born to "start homeschooling" in earnest. I always tell people what a mistake that was! I was soooo concerned that my oldest would be "behind" all his friends who were going off to kindergarten if we did't start when everybody else did. My mom was not in support, and my sister could not believe that I would "do that" (hs) to my kids. Well, time has a way of sorting things out! My mom thinks my children are great :) and she can't believe how polite and smart and balanced they are. Even sister can't say anything bad. It is easy to think they might be better off somewhere else, especially with all of those shiny desks, new supplies, and cool bulletin boards. In general, though, I believe that a bad day homeschooling is better than any day in public school. Even if all the subjects don't get done, they still have you, the one who loves them to pieces. No other teacher can compete with mama's love. HTH

[classics4us]

You have gotten a ton of support. So my ramblings probably will be repeats of what everyone else said.

I was in a very similiar situation 4 years ago. DD was almost 5 and I had ds#3 in August. September we started "school". Did I have rough days? Yes. Did want to pull my hair out? Yes. Did we have months of doing no "school" at all? Yes. Did we survive? Yes. Has my dd suffered from it? NO (not yelling just emphasizing) Dd is now 9 yo she reads at a high school level, is sharp as a tack and has loads of socializational skills. I know it's hard but don't worry to much about your what your mother says to you. I have a dad that likes to plant seeds of doubt in my mind too. Sometimes it's all I can do to stop those seeds from taking root. Remember this is your family not your mothers. Do what's best for you and yours and don't sweat it if you end up spending more time changing diapers and doing laundry than "school" work. Your kiddos are learning loads more than most kids their age are by having you as their mommy :)

[Lovedtodeath]

A little OT:

 

Okay, I will say one thing that concerns me about someone homeschooling with a newborn. Watch out for Postpartum Depression. It took me months to get help, and then I thought it was gone, then the same cycle all over again... for two years. Our lives and homeschooling were so inconsistent and it did damage DD. Of course, it probably would have damaged her had we not been homeschooling as well... just don't make the same mistake I did. Any depression or wierd emotionless (I had no affection for anyone except the baby) state needs to be checked out and treated, and continue with the treatment.

 

We are doing really well now, but I sure wish it hadn't taken me two years to get it sorted.

[Kim in SouthGa]

I think you will do fine. When my oldest was 4, he went to a small Christian preschool. I also had a 2 year old and a new baby. My son's teacher kept telling me I would never be able to homeschool with the toddler and new baby. They were wrong. It was actually much easier than running kids around everywhere! We could just stay home when the baby was little. Didn't have to worry about messing up nap time to pick someone up from school. We avoided so much sickness that goes around the schools. The baby napped good, and that's when we did school. I now have a 13ds, 10dd, 8. 5ds, and 2 year old. My 8.5ds is still able to get all of his work that he needs my help with done while the toddler naps. You really don't have to worry about formal academics (IMHO)-aside from the three R's-until 3rd grade or later. I love the way you are doing science, and you can always listen to SOTW during quiet time or in the car. And read lots of good books!

You can do it!!!

[razorbackmama]

I think that homeschooling with the 3yo would be harder than with a newborn who is content to sleep, eat and be held.

 

YES. THIS. Homeschooling with a newborn is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDS easier than homeschooling with a toddler. I have a 22mo in addition to the 5 others I'm trying to teach, and she is the main "problem" when it comes to school. It's a good thing she's cute.;)

[Lady Q]

My suggestion would be to school all summer and then take a nice long break when the baby comes. After the first few weeks of adjustments, you'll probably be ready to get back into school simply because you won't be going out much.

 

Congratulations on the new baby!

[Brindee]

Lots of good advice here! One thing I wanted to mention: Remember that your dd has many, MANY years of schooling left ahead of her! You don't have to push it now! Let her be a child. Her science and learning can come with the natural experiences in the home with a baby, and all that involves. Science can be nature walks and discussing what she sees, having a nature journal (see queenhomeschool.com ). Math is counting how many diapers that baby has needed today, or something like that. Reading to siblings for reading. Social Studies would be learning about family. Learning about baby. Learning about siblings. And all those involve. I mean she's just going to be 5! No reason to stress over someone that age getting proper schooling when doing the natural kid stuff is a great way to learn! :)

 

I say that to lesson the pressure on you for right before and after the baby is born (CONGRATULATIONS!). Yes, you could feel overwhelmed, yes it could be hard at first, no it won't be FUN all the time. However, it can be one of the best times of your lives as well! Allow your dd to be a kid and learn naturally for awhile, while you adjust to the new baby and the baby adjusts to you and everyone adjusts to the changes. You will be amazed at how much she will learn, retain and grow during this time! As others have said, it's the love and family and togetherness that is so important! The stress of getting the littles all ready to run the oldest to school, getting the oldest ready, making sure she has everything she needs, making cookies at the last minute for the thing at school she forgot to tell you about until the day they're due, etc.......Ahhhh, now THAT'S stressful!

 

I happen to agree with starting them actual academics later, and allowing them to enjoy childhood without having to do schoolwork. Not that that's what you are doing, and some kids (like my first and third) LOVE schoolwork at that age! It's just that if a child that age is being pushed to succeed, they could burn out at a young age! Allow them to enjoy this time--some schoolwork, because they enjoy it, lots of play, because they learn a lot from play, etc.

 

Best wishes! I hope your mom comes around! My sister was not rude to me, but didn't think it was a wise decision for us to homeschool--what about "socialization", etc. She mentioned it quite a bit, and thought my kids would be behind. But wihtin a couple or 3 years, she could see that we were actually "normal" and the kids were doing very well. It ended up where she homeschooled her youngest! :) I will pray that your mom comes around, and that things go well for your pregnancy, birth, the rest of your family, and that you are able to homeschool as you would like to!:grouphug:

[Karen in CO]

I don't know how you other moms stand up to the constant questioning and doubting from people like your own mothers/family members. What do I do? How do I know I will be able to do this in the fall?...

 

 

You've had great advice so far, so go back and read it again. I especially love what Dirty Ethel said about setting boundaries.

 

I have a couple of things to share too. I don't put up with questioning or doubting from other family members. These are my kids and I am free to ruin them how I see fit. I've handled high school, kindergarten, and a baby all a the same time while working. You do it just the way you do everything else, one day at a time. I was lucky when I started homeschooling because the only home schooler I knew had 8 kids and did home daycare for my child so I never had the option of thinking that 3 kids were too many to care for and home school. I decided that if she could do it, that I could too.

 

Your little ones will be fine. Read to them, count with them, play with them, make messy art with them, make cookies with them, take them outside frequently to wear them out, take them to the library. Right now, I only home school 4 days a week. Mondays were stressful for us, so I just quit doing school on Mondays. Guess what? Everything was okay. I am allowed to make decisions like that.

 

Take the time to learn about the new baby, make school relaxed and enjoyable. Get everyone into a routine, and it will all be okay. Just smile and don't let this be a topic of discussion. Its a bean dip thing. "Yes, I am going to home school after the baby comes. Please pass the bean dip." You don't have to justify what you do. You don't have to go into details. You don't have to listen to criticism.

 

You'll be fine. One day at a time.

[joannqn]

I haven't read all of the responds but I'm here to tell you not to listen to your mother. You are doing fine and you'll continue to do fine. Yes, having a toddler and a newborn and a homeschool can, and probably will, be overwhelming. So what?! You're oldest is young enough that it doesn't matter. Focus on phonics and basic math, read some books, and enjoy your lives.

 

I've been there before (2nd grade, kindergarten, newborn) and I'm going there again next year (5th grade, 3rd grade, 3yo, newborn). Sure some things will suffer but it's only for a short time in the grand scheme of things. The kids won't be hurt academically over the long term.

 

Trust yourself and your decisions. You'll be fine.

[Sahamamama]

Oh, Jessie, if I could reach out and give you a hug, I surely would. My mom and I are close, so I know that if she decided to "go there," it would hurt me deeply. But, except for a few "They need socializa....." comments, my mother has not "gone there." Why not?

 

I think it's because my husband and I are VERY clearly in charge of our children. We communicate to others, parents included, that we know what we want for our children, we know (as well as anyone can) what we are doing with them, and that we deeply love our children. Whenever there is a difference of opinion -- between us and family members -- about how to handle our children, my husband and I are united in asserting (nicely, but firmly) that WE ARE THE PARENTS.

 

For example, at times our 4 yo will whine and not cooperate when my parents visit, probably because she thinks she can get away with it! We simply take our daughter into another room and regain our parental authority over her. We don't make a big deal about it, but we do (at times) have to, um, remind everyone -- children, grandparents, etc. -- that we are the parents, and we can handle it. ;)

 

FWIW, I know it's your MOM, of course, and you don't want to damage that relationship.... BUT, IMO, your mother has completely overstepped her proper boundaries in saying these hurtful things to you. If you and your husband really do feel strongly about HSing your children, then you need to ASSERT YOUR PARENTHOOD and push back to the boundary line that says: We are the parents of these children.

 

If I were in your shoes (have been, a time or two, but not quite so bluntly on my mom's part), I'd push back, nicely and firmly. Tell your mother that whatever opinions she has about your ability to "mother" your own children, if these thoughts are not encouraging and uplifting to you, then she should keep them to herself. Tell your mother that ONLY you and your husband will choose what is best for your children, and that your mother should not seek to undermine your authority and decisions and goals.

 

I hope you can talk this out with your husband, first, to really sharpen your convictions. Why do you want to homeschool? You said that you have enjoyed having your children at home (You love spending time with your children, watching them learn, being a part of their learning?). Great! You said that your children are very young (you want them to have more time with Mom?). Great! Just remember, you are coming up with convictions and reasons for YOURSELF, not for your MOTHER. ;) You don't have to EVER convince her.... Just homeschool away, Sweetie.

 

Time and love are on your side. HTH. :grouphug:

[momto4greatkids]

As far as being overwhelmed, having children in school is a job too! At 3 and 5, in my opinion, its easier to run your own ship and keep them at home. Otherwise, you introduce school's schedule into your life. Now you have homework, parties, and issues with teachers, other children, etc. At home, you can plan play dates with the friends you want your daughter to be with. There's so many groups to be a part of for socialization without the commitment of 35 hours of school/week.

Do what you know you are being called to do, and your mother will see.....

[MitchellMom]

I can beat that. My former MIL told me I needed to abort a baby because I wouldn't be able to provide the attention to the older child and would rob his childhood if I had another baby. :glare:

Oh my!!! My MIL would not survive a comment like that!!!!! She's already pushing the boundaries. A previous poster said that she realized her parents are embarrassed that she homeschools; I have realized that my MIL is embarrassed too! She already irritates the socks off me, though, so I try desperately not to let her opinion matter. Unfortunately, my dh is obsessed with what his parents think. It drives me nuts!!!

 

But this thread is about my mom, not my MIL... :tongue_smilie:

 

As for schooling.....your daughter is going to be soooo far ahead of the other 5 year olds in her class that frankly, she's likely to be bored and understimulated. A wonderful recipe to kill off the love of learning in a child!! Yes, the first few months after the baby is born you may not be doing schoolwork as rigorously as you are now....but ya know what, it's ok. Your daughter will already be far enough ahead that taking a short detour into "life lessons" instead is not going to harm your daughter's education. In fact, bonding with her baby brother and practicing her reading skills on her two younger siblings can be an extremely positive situation. The more your kids bond at a younger age, may it will help keep that bond stronger as they grow up.

 

 

This is exactly what I was thinking. She and my ds were in a preschool two mornings a week up until a few weeks ago. She had started acting up and I know it's because she was bored silly. The teacher did not even work on the alphabet, much less advanced reading and writing! One morning she had passed out worksheets that instructed students to trace a dotted line across the page (a good activity for my 3 y.o. but not my dd), when my dd could write entire sentences already! No wonder she acted up - I would have, too!!!

 

You might but here is a big insider's secret for you: If you don't homeschool at all for a good year after the baby arrives, it won't be a big deal. You will get caught back up. I know, your child could be ahead if you didn't take a big break, and that will make you feel guilty, at first. But it will be fine. Really. (We didn't like SL Science either.)

 

 

I am SO GLAD to "hear" another mom say that!!!

 

As soon as I read your post, Mitchell Mom, I was reminded of myself two plus years ago. I was pregnant, wondering and worrying if ds (then 3) shouldn't be in preschool instead. He watched a lot of videos the first three months of my pregnancy as I struggled with extreme tiredness and morning (all day!) sickness. A dear friend of mine, and experienced hser, reminded me gently that the school of life is perhaps the main reason most of us are homeschooling. Ds learned to fetch me water, care for others by helping to care for me, and after dd was born to care for his sibling and how to be a big brother. These are all important things that I wouldn't trade for the world.

 

This reminded me of my first trimester. I was so exhausted all the time. When my mom was saying all of this the other day, she said, "It's just, you seem so tired all the time, like you don't have energy to teach." I was thinking, "I'm pregnant, Mama!!!!" Of course I'm exhausted!

 

 

A little OT:

 

Okay, I will say one thing that concerns me about someone homeschooling with a newborn. Watch out for Postpartum Depression. It took me months to get help, and then I thought it was gone, then the same cycle all over again... for two years. Our lives and homeschooling were so inconsistent and it did damage DD. Of course, it probably would have damaged her had we not been homeschooling as well... just don't make the same mistake I did. Any depression or wierd emotionless (I had no affection for anyone except the baby) state needs to be checked out and treated, and continue with the treatment.

 

We are doing really well now, but I sure wish it hadn't taken me two years to get it sorted.

 

Thank you for posting this and for being honest. I suffered from PPD with my daughter and had to start taking medication; when my son was born, I was on meds and did not suffer from PPD. I am terribly afraid it will happen this time, though, because of all the emotional ups and downs I am having. I am so irritable all the time, to the point where I am mean to my dh and kids! :( I've had to start taking progesterone shots to prevent another preterm labor and my emotions have been going haywire. In fact, I'm going to ask the OBGYN on Monday if I can stop the shots b/c I just cannot live this way. I am being mean to my children! Anyway - my point in writing this is to let you know that I know just how you feel, and I am very scared of this happening again; I have issues with being in control and if I lose control, I panic. I would appreciate everyone's prayers very much!!!

[DawnM]

I haven't read this whole thread, but I am sorry you are dealing with this. You will find a lot of support from hs moms! My MIL still hasn't accepted our hsing and we are in year SIX!

 

Hugs.

 

Dawn

[Lovedtodeath]

One thing that helps PPD, especially if it starts during PG, is Essential Fatty Acids, like Omega III's. Your baby is using them up and you need them for proper brain functioning. One of the natural treatments that I am on for PPD is Udo's Oil. (1 T. per day of the organic blend.) It was Dr. prescribed.

[razorbackmama]

One thing that helps PPD, especially if it starts during PG, is Essential Fatty Acids, like Omega III's.

 

Ditto this.

 

I take Carlson's Cod Liver Oil. Nordic Naturals sells a high-EPA fish oil capsule as well that is good for it.

[Mary in GA]

First, congratulations! And I'm so sorry you don't have the support you should have. But just relax. I agree with all these posters who say your dd is so far ahead. Time is really on your side. When I had my last, all I did for quite some time is just read aloud at different times while I was nursing! They are fine.

 

 

Mary

[mamato3 all-boy boys]

My husband totally supports homeschooling, but even he says he worries I will feel overwhelmed when the new baby is here. :(

 

Honestly, it is likely that you will feel overwhelmed when the baby is here!!!! My 3rd ds was born at the beginning of October, and we had started school in mid-August so that we could take a "break" when he was born. At the time I had a 1st grader (6 yo) and 3 year old. Some of the plans I had had -- even knowing that I'd be overtired, overwhelmed, and stuck-in-the-middle-of-nowhere with little help -- were tossed out the window (TOG, for example).

 

But you know what? There is so *much* more to learn when a baby comes than reading, writing, and 'rithmetic. It was a wonderful time to bond as a family. We all oohed and aahed over baby's every little movement. Everyone helped to entertain him, Everyone got grossed out at his poopy diapers. Nursing was natural for the boys to sit through. It was a lovely, sleep deprived time in our lives and I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

If I'm guessing ages correctly, your oldest will officially be in K in the fall, right? What did I hear once about kindergarten? I think it must've been a joke, but once someone told me that "if a kindergartner learns to stand in a straight line without poking the child in front of them, we'd call it a success." (That had to be a joke, right?)

 

I totally believe that a loving, dedicated mother can homeschool their child(ren) through the transition of having a new family member. Read to your child. Practice writing ABCs at the kitchen table for a few minutes a day. practice math facts and concepts. Continue planting and bug raising. You will do a fine job. And she'll learn the most about what it means to be a family, to help one another and to nurture each other through challenging and changing times.

 

God's best to you! and Congatulations!

[MitchellMom]

Update in first post

[Homemama2]

children MUST go to school to learn how NOT to act.)"

 

If this is true, just skip school and send them to prison!

 

 

eta: the only relative I had that was against my hsing was my brother. In less than a year, he did a 180 on his opinion, to the point that he got in a major arguement with some friends/co-workers on the benefits of homeschooling...and they actually ended up agreeing with him. This is so hard to have to listen to/deal with esp from your mom, but ultimately its your (and your hubby's) decision. Your mom will be able to see the benefits for herself after you've been schooling awhile.

Edited April 19, 2009 by Homemama2

[Matryoshka]

UPDATE: Anyway, I talked with her on the phone last night and she said my children would not act this way if I sent them to school! She said they would have another authority figure disciplining them so they would know there were other adults they had to obey, not just me. She said they would see other children being disciplined and learn from those children's mistakes and not act out at her house as much.

 

Ahem. Is she not another adult? Is she not another authority figure (that is not you)? Did she not raise children at some point and have some clue how to set boundaries? If you get your kids to behave and they act wild for her, it's her lack of discpiline that's a problem, not yours. Kids can smell adults that let them walk all over them. Wouldn't matter if they were in school.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Re: UDATE

 

Jessie, I have two things to say. 1. Boundaries. If you do not want your mom to constantly harp on homeschooling, you need to set the boundary. I recommend you read Joanne's Bean Dip article to learn how to enforce an appropriate boundary. As long as you continue to engage her in discussion, she is going to criticise.

 

2. Parenting/temperment. I am saying with all the gentleness I can muster. Your son's behavior is not a reflection of homeschooling, it is a combination of his temperment and of your parenting. You say that he behaves for you, but not for your mom. Perhaps your mom either has very low tolerance for "kid behavior" and is exaggerating or she is creating an environment where it is difficult to behave and control impulses. Kids can sense disapproval and it can affect their behavior. My kids became very withdrawn around my mom and very clingy because they sensed how much she disapproved of my parenting and my decision to homeschool. Other kids react differently. Sending him to school is NOT going to improve that situation. He can learn more ways to misbehave. Teachers relate tons of stories how kids come to school and don't behave. Some kids learn how to control their impulses in the classroom, but are still quite wild and rambunctious in other situations. I have dealt with these kids in scouts and religious ed classes. Do you have any other options for babysitting other than your mom? It sounds like she is setting you up to fail and is trying to undermine your confidence.

 

Again, gently, if you want to change your son's behavior, your parenting has to change. Threats do not effectively change behavior over the long term, action does. That does not always mean punishment, but it means getting through that your rules are meant to be followed. I do recommend that you read up on ways to parent that do not involve threats. Joanne's Get Off Your Butt Parenting website is a great way to start. Also, there is a great thread on favorite parenting books. Now is the time to start addressing this (and this is even more important than academics) because the baby will be overwhelming, not just to you, but to the other kids.

 

I wish you the best. I have walked in your shoes.

[Katiebug_1976]

I'm trying to figure out the best, most respectful way to say this, so here goes. Having had my kids on both sides (for lack of a better way to explain. My oldest girls were in public scool for several years, and now homeschooled for 4 years), I have to severely disagree with your mothers statement that your kids need to go to school to learn how NOT to act! IMHO that is the biggest crock I have ever heard. Kids learn from those they are around. They mimik the behaviors that they see, not learn how NOT to do them. It sounds to me like your mother is not being very supportive of your choices. I can understand if she disagrees with you, but when it comes down to it, they are YOUR children, and YOU are the one who makes the choices for them and answers to God for those choices, not your mother. I hope and pray that you have others that do support you. My advice would be to sit down woth your mother and thank her for her suggestions, but explain to her that you are the "mom" and you have made the choice to homeschool. I would hope she would be supportive of you even if she doesnt agree with your decision. Your kids are so young! Some kids don't even start school, public or homeschool, until they are 6 years old. You have nothing to worry about, academically. It sounds like your daughter is off to a wonderful start.

When it comes to homeschooling with a new baby, don't sweat it! 2 years agow, I had 3 school aged children, a 3 yo and a new baby. Yes, things were different, we had our good days and our bad days, but that's one great thing about homeschooling. If you get up, and things just are not going well, it's not that big of a deal to just not have school for one day. You get to set the schedule. We are getting ready to have another new baby join us in November. So my plans this time around are to school through the summer, and take a couple months off when the baby gets here. Then everyone gets to adjust to the baby, and mom gets to rest w/o feeling like I'm neglecting school. Just figure out what will work best for you, take a deep breath, and it will all be ok! You are doing a great job!!! Don't let the devil sneak in and take it away from you! In my opinion, homeschooling is the best choice you can make for your children!

[Tammyla]

Lots of great advice. You may need to give up your parents as sitters for a while..not sure if this was suggested. Sounds like they need a refresher course in child care themselves kwim? Your children are little, very young in my opinion and will learn as they get older. I wouldn't draw a battle line on this, just set some boundaries and let grandma know she will need to help them learn how to behave in her home if she wants them to visit without you.;) You can also help your child(ren) by reminding them how to behave, setting some rules and consequences and setting them up for success with short visits, praise and lots of reminders.

 

 

ymmv

 

And congratulations!

 

UPDATE: My parents watched my children yesterday and apparently my son was wild. When he acts this way at home, I threaten to send him to time out or take his toys away, and he stops, but he will not stop when they tell him to (he jumps on their couch and bangs toys against the floor, or something like that; that's what my mom said). Anyway, I talked with her on the phone last night and she said my children would not act this way if I sent them to school! She said they would have another authority figure disciplining them so they would know there were other adults they had to obey, not just me. She said they would see other children being disciplined and learn from those children's mistakes and not act out at her house as much. How do I respond to that?! She basically said I was ruining my children's personalities by not sending them to school!!!!

 

I've been homeschooling since November but I have to say I've been feeling really relaxed about it. After all, my daughter is not yet 5 (birthday is Monday) and my son is only 3. I mean, I make sure she does her writing and reading at least 5 days a week, and we do math 4 days a week, and for science we simply do things like plant seeds and we are going to grow caterpillars/butterflies. (The Sonlight science just makes no sense to me and is dull, so we are just not doing anything formal.) But today, my mom was talking to me about how I am pregnant (yay! A boy due 9/11!) and she thinks I will not be able to homeschool when he arrives. She said she thinks I will not be able to give my daughter and older son the attention they need for school, and I will not be able to provide them with the socialization opportunities they need, while also caring for a newborn. This broke my heart. I love having my children home with me. In fact, two weeks ago I pulled them out of their (terrible) preschool completely because I just did not see where it was benefitting them. (My mom says my children MUST go to school to learn how NOT to act.) She made me feel so guilty and my self-esteem dropped waaaaay down, to the point where I now am wondering if I should send my daughter to the charter school that she got into for the fall.

 

I know it sounds like I'm posting this just to whine, but honestly, I don't know how you other moms stand up to the constant questioning and doubting from people like your own mothers/family members. What do I do? How do I know I will be able to do this in the fall?...

 

Thanks for your advice.

Edited April 19, 2009 by Tammyla

[Lovedtodeath]

Let me get this straight. She couldn't get a 3yo to stop misbehaving and she thinks it's because you're homschooling? Did she raise any boys of her own? Words don't cut it; interruption and relocation are needed to break that cycle. School doesn't apply - since he's a) been in preschool and b) it hasn't worked so far.

 

Why didn't I think of that?

[TxMama]

But this thread is about my mom, not my MIL..

 

 

:lol:I know that .

 

It doesn't matter if it is your mom , MIL or some random person at the grocery store. It is just their opinion! You are the parent and get to make all the decisions that you want in regards to raising and education your children. Let them have theirs. I don't get in discussions about decisions that I have made about my children with others who have a different opinion. period. I also don't try to convince my non-homeschooling family members that they are messing up their kids. It's really none of my business. I expect them to show me the same courtesy.

 

I guess after 19 years of parenting they finally got the idea that I value their opinion when I ask but will ultimately make my own decision how to handle a situation. If I don't ask they don't offer an opinion! OR on the rare occasions that they do I politely change the subject. IF that doesn't work I leave the situation.

 

If my mom commented on how wild my child was at her house in the manner that your mom did.....and I've had a few wild ones :tongue_smilie:.....I would not let my child return to her house without a parent for a good long while. I figure that my mom should be able to 1. respect my child temperment( if that was the problem), 2. get my child to behave in an appropriate manner ( if that was the problem), 3. respect my decisions regarding education and leave it out of the situation ( because that wasn't the problem).

 

OTOH, if the problem was that my child needs mama there to discipline then he really shouldn't be at grandma's without me or any school for that matter.

 

Set some boundaries with Mom. Tell her you value her opinion but have made a decision. You would greatly appreciate it if she supports you but if she cannot then you would really appreciate that she keeps her opinions to herself about this decision. You may need to repeat a few times. .

 

Best of luck, mama!

[Harriet Vane]

Ahem. Is she not another adult? Is she not another authority figure (that is not you)? Did she not raise children at some point and have some clue how to set boundaries? If you get your kids to behave and they act wild for her, it's her lack of discpiline that's a problem, not yours. Kids can smell adults that let them walk all over them. Wouldn't matter if they were in school.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

You took the words right outta my mouth.

 

It's much easier for your mother to blame you or to blame homeschooling than it is for her to realize that it is HER discipline (or lack thereof) that is the issue.

[FO4UR]

Has your mom ever been around ps kids??? taught a sunday school class, led story time at the library? b/c I think she'd see that ps does NOT in fact each kids how to respect authority! Quite the opposite is true!!!

 

Your mom is lost when it comes to disciplining, and HSing is a convienient scape-goat. Don't buy it!

 

However - it might be wise (in a conversation having nothing to do with HSing) to talk with you mom about your discipline techniques. It would likely help (your children) if your mom would use the same routine at her house as you do at yours. I would word something like "ds knows when he is told "x" that he is to do "y" and if he doesn't then"z" happens" It's important for ds to know that Grandma follows Mommy & Daddy's rules - he will completely manipulate her in the future if the foundation isn't laid now. You can't make your mom behave, but you can make sure your son isn't a part of all that.

 

 

Make sure YOU and DH are setting the rules for ds (being respectful of your mother's wishes about her home...) - and Grandma is simply an extension of YOUR parenting. If she can't take that role, then I agree with the previous poster who said that maybe your kids shouldn't go to her house without a parent.

 

When I was a kid, I had a grandparent who left medications out on the table. We weren't allowed to stay there alone out of fear that we would accidentally poison ourselves. My mom couldn't make grandma lock up her medications, but she did protect her children regardless.......lack of discipline is just another brand of poison.

:grouphug:

[SheWillFly]

She basically said I was ruining my children's personalities by not sending them to school!!!!

 

 

Sounds like your mom has some mixed up expectations. Sorry your having to face this. Three is a terribly fun year.:tongue_smilie: You don't send a child to school to have them learn what "not" to do. That is missing the point. As a parent you teach them what to do. I hope you find peace and confidence in whatever decision you happen to make and the support as well. (Yeah, I haven't read any of the other replies.)

 

Oh and as for the bit I quoted. :001_huh: My child was changed more than I ever anticipated when I sent her to school and not in the way that allowed her to be more who she was created to be but in the way that made me say, "Where did my confident, outspoken, independent thinker go?"

[MitchellMom]

Re: UDATE

 

Jessie, I have two things to say. 1. Boundaries. If you do not want your mom to constantly harp on homeschooling, you need to set the boundary. I recommend you read Joanne's Bean Dip article to learn how to enforce an appropriate boundary. As long as you continue to engage her in discussion, she is going to criticise.

 

2. Parenting/temperment. I am saying with all the gentleness I can muster. Your son's behavior is not a reflection of homeschooling, it is a combination of his temperment and of your parenting. You say that he behaves for you, but not for your mom. Perhaps your mom either has very low tolerance for "kid behavior" and is exaggerating or she is creating an environment where it is difficult to behave and control impulses. Kids can sense disapproval and it can affect their behavior. My kids became very withdrawn around my mom and very clingy because they sensed how much she disapproved of my parenting and my decision to homeschool. Other kids react differently. Sending him to school is NOT going to improve that situation. He can learn more ways to misbehave. Teachers relate tons of stories how kids come to school and don't behave. Some kids learn how to control their impulses in the classroom, but are still quite wild and rambunctious in other situations. I have dealt with these kids in scouts and religious ed classes. Do you have any other options for babysitting other than your mom? It sounds like she is setting you up to fail and is trying to undermine your confidence.

 

Again, gently, if you want to change your son's behavior, your parenting has to change. Threats do not effectively change behavior over the long term, action does. That does not always mean punishment, but it means getting through that your rules are meant to be followed. I do recommend that you read up on ways to parent that do not involve threats. Joanne's Get Off Your Butt Parenting website is a great way to start. Also, there is a great thread on favorite parenting books. Now is the time to start addressing this (and this is even more important than academics) because the baby will be overwhelming, not just to you, but to the other kids.

 

I wish you the best. I have walked in your shoes.

 

 

I appreciate the advice! But what do I need to change about my parenting?.... I mean, he listens to me! Isn't it my mom who needs to change?... :confused:

[MitchellMom]

:lol:I know that .

 

It doesn't matter if it is your mom , MIL or some random person at the grocery store. It is just their opinion! You are the parent and get to make all the decisions that you want in regards to raising and education your children. Let them have theirs. I don't get in discussions about decisions that I have made about my children with others who have a different opinion. period. I also don't try to convince my non-homeschooling family members that they are messing up their kids. It's really none of my business. I expect them to show me the same courtesy.

 

I guess after 19 years of parenting they finally got the idea that I value their opinion when I ask but will ultimately make my own decision how to handle a situation. If I don't ask they don't offer an opinion! OR on the rare occasions that they do I politely change the subject. IF that doesn't work I leave the situation.

 

If my mom commented on how wild my child was at her house in the manner that your mom did.....and I've had a few wild ones :tongue_smilie:.....I would not let my child return to her house without a parent for a good long while. I figure that my mom should be able to 1. respect my child temperment( if that was the problem), 2. get my child to behave in an appropriate manner ( if that was the problem), 3. respect my decisions regarding education and leave it out of the situation ( because that wasn't the problem).

 

OTOH, if the problem was that my child needs mama there to discipline then he really shouldn't be at grandma's without me or any school for that matter.

 

Set some boundaries with Mom. Tell her you value her opinion but have made a decision. You would greatly appreciate it if she supports you but if she cannot then you would really appreciate that she keeps her opinions to herself about this decision. You may need to repeat a few times. .

 

Best of luck, mama!

 

Not sure I understand the part in bold.... Are you saying that since my mom cannot discipline him effectively, I should not leave him there, since he needs me to discipline him? She will counter with: "He should know to listen to ANY adult, not just his mother!" :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

You took the words right outta my mouth.

 

It's much easier for your mother to blame you or to blame homeschooling than it is for her to realize that it is HER discipline (or lack thereof) that is the issue.

 

Thank you - this is what I thought but did not want to say b/c I thought I might be wrong!

 

Has your mom ever been around ps kids??? taught a sunday school class, led story time at the library? b/c I think she'd see that ps does NOT in fact each kids how to respect authority! Quite the opposite is true!!!

 

Your mom is lost when it comes to disciplining, and HSing is a convienient scape-goat. Don't buy it!

 

However - it might be wise (in a conversation having nothing to do with HSing) to talk with you mom about your discipline techniques. It would likely help (your children) if your mom would use the same routine at her house as you do at yours. I would word something like "ds knows when he is told "x" that he is to do "y" and if he doesn't then"z" happens" It's important for ds to know that Grandma follows Mommy & Daddy's rules - he will completely manipulate her in the future if the foundation isn't laid now. You can't make your mom behave, but you can make sure your son isn't a part of all that.

 

 

Make sure YOU and DH are setting the rules for ds (being respectful of your mother's wishes about her home...) - and Grandma is simply an extension of YOUR parenting. If she can't take that role, then I agree with the previous poster who said that maybe your kids shouldn't go to her house without a parent.

 

When I was a kid, I had a grandparent who left medications out on the table. We weren't allowed to stay there alone out of fear that we would accidentally poison ourselves. My mom couldn't make grandma lock up her medications, but she did protect her children regardless.......lack of discipline is just another brand of poison.

:grouphug:

 

Yes - she teaches Head Start!!!!! I should have shared that already!!!

[Karen in CO]

I appreciate the advice! But what do I need to change about my parenting?.... I mean, he listens to me! Isn't it my mom who needs to change?... :confused:

 

 

Trying to say this gently - Your mom didn't come here asking for advice. We can only advise you, not her.

[MitchellMom]

Trying to say this gently - Your mom didn't come here asking for advice. We can only advise you, not her.

 

 

I understand and I really, really appreciate advice from all of you. But truly, isn't it she who needs advice on how to control a child? Or is it really me? My son listens to me. He really does. If he starts to act up, all I do is say his name, and sometimes I do have to threaten, but he listens. Are you saying there are other ways I can get him to behave, without threats?... I really want to know if there are! :) I'm going to check out those articles.

[Lovedtodeath]

Well the problem may be that she is used to kids behaving, because she teaches. Kids behave tons better in a school setting than with family members almost every time.

[FloridaMomTo5]

Yes - she teaches Head Start!!!!! I should have shared that already!!!

 

Hilarious! Isn't Head Start the government run preschool? That explains a lot!

 

I did want to say that when I first made the decision (along with my husband) to hs, I also met some opposition. My father was opposed, but did not voice as much as a women might have. My mother was supportive. He would do things like ask the kids questions to quiz them when he came, and question what they were involved in socially. lol. Recently I've noticed a shift in his thinking as he watches his step grandson struggle in the public education system. BTW...I'm finishing my 4th year of hsing, and this support from him is just now coming. It was just something I had to accept. Some family members will be supportive and some won't. It has been helpful for me to find "veteran hs moms" (6 or more yrs hsing) to give me support. I've also tried to attend hs conventions to gain encouragment and insight. All of this helps, but above all you need to be confident in your decision to hs so that you can tune out the things that are not helpful.