Scarlett Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 He just turned 23. He moved out with his friend a year ago. He did not love it. But he also doesn’t make much money ….so his options are limited. A friend rented him a studio cottage (about 400 sf) for $400 a month— all bills paid. He has a job at the hospital in town that pays very little but has good PTO and good benefits. We can see him mulling over how he needs more money….not sure what he will do. He even mentioned going to AR to work for dh’s brother. But the part that is interesting is that cottage studio has no washer dryer. There is no decent laundry mat in town and besides that very expensive. We told him he was welcome to come wash his clothes here. First week he asked me what day was good so he would not be in the way (translation, the day no one is here) I said you won’t be in the way but I work on Wednesday. So I came home last week to a load in my dryer. I hung/folded his clothes. No big deal. Anyway, yesterday he texts me that he left his sheets in my dryer. I said oh I did not know you were coming. He said oh sorry. I said, no problem just let me know so I know. Just curious how you all handle adult kids coming into your house when you aren’t here. Obviously we trust him, he is welcome etc, but I want to know when he will be here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I don’t have local kids, they have all moved out of town as they moved out, however, I think if they were in town they would be free to come and go without telling me as long as they weren’t causing problems. I think going to mom’s house to do laundry wouldn’t necessarily need a call or text? Maybe I’d feel differently in practice but in my fantasy they would still feel like this was home and they could drop in to do laundry. But I don’t think you are wrong to want a heads up. Having him there without you knowing obviously doesn’t feel right or good to you so I think it is fair to ask for a text when he is coming over. Not sure I’d make it an issue if he was forgetful of it other than to just say oh hey I didn’t know you were coming over. Can you just text me so I’m not caught off guard or in case I have company or whatever? I’m pretty non-confrontational with my adult kids though. If it was just an annoyance and not causing a true problem I’d probably just keep gently reminding him I’d like a heads up and if he showed up and it was a bad time I’d say “sorry now isn’t a good time. Text me next time to make sure.” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMWB Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I’ve never stopped just, ‘walking in the door’ expected or not. My kids (and husband) have pretty much been ‘trained’ to do the same thing. I also still have a key on my key ring in case the door is locked. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I’m pretty sure I always let my mom know when I came to do the laundry when I was his age and lived locally. So, I used it seems the norm to me. But I don’t think it would bother me—just surprise me. I think it’s fine to ask him to let you know bc you just like knowing when someone’s been in your house. I think it’s fine if you decide just to let him come without telling you. He did live there for a long time and still sees it as home. I would avoid, if possible, making a big deal out of it(not saying you are right now) I try to chose carefully what I confront in my adult kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I have told my 19yo he needs to check with me before coming over, and he must have my permission to use the kitchen and have someone check it’s clean before he leaves. My husband has told him “you don’t need to call before you come over.” Our actual issues are he wants to watch tv in the living room with streaming services. He is doing good about this now, he gets he needs to be considerate. No longer an issue. The other issue is wanting to come and make a cake or something in our kitchen, because we have a mixer and things like that. But then not cleaning up adequately or not managing his time properly and wanting to start too late to finish before it’s later than I like. Without those two issues, I don’t care, he can come and go. But he is somebody where I feel like it needs to be very direct and clear, if there’s something I don’t like. And if he doesn’t like that, fine, don’t come use the kitchen here and don’t come here to watch tv. But currently he will check with us and we watch some shows together. Oh, there is also eating here. There are some things I think are inconsiderate but I kind-of thought they were considerate when he was living here — so it hasn’t come up… basically he does check with me. He can call or text if I’m not home, too. I think this way it keeps it clear and he would rather do that too than have me think he has been inconsiderate. This is more like — no, you can’t just eat all the snack food. That kind of thing. I know it sounds controlling, but it’s not my fault he doesn’t just know not to eat all the snack food. I think it’s inconsiderate and it’s not why we buy snack food. I have to say, I would not personally offer to let him do his laundry here, but I would let him if he asked, but that would make it more like — it’s on my terms and I’m doing him a favor. I don’t think it hurts someone to go to a laundromat if they don’t want to ask. That is my dynamic with my son. However — he is a sweet kid and I love him! We are hospitable when he comes over and we have a nice time. My husband talks on the phone with him almost every day and I text with him 1-2 times a week. We normally eat lunch with him every Saturday afternoon (and this is when he spends time with his brother every week), but lately he has been working on some Saturdays, but we all plan to get back to that soon when he stops working at the end of the summer. Although, he may keep some shifts, I don’t know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 (edited) I have an issue that I don’t want people up and moving around the house and keeping the dogs up etc, after about 10:00. Unless it’s my husband. I would not like it if my son came at 8:30 and was sure he could get everything done. I would not like it if I had planned to do laundry in the evening to wash an outfit for the next day. We keep a smallish wardrobe and in the summer it can be better to use electricity in the evening, so I think it’s fair for me to plan that way. So, it could actually be inconvenient for me pretty easily, depending on the situation. I think it would be reasonable for him to make sure the washer and drier would be available. In practice we have always been able to split a load because I might only have a few things that I specifically wanted to wash before the next day. But the whole “I’m going to start at 8:30 pm, it will all be done before 9:00 pm, right” issue is the one that has actually come up, again while he was in high school. It does actually disrupt me and can disrupt siblings. Edit: I think we are both happier when he does his laundry somewhere else, and that’s fine! Edit: this is my son who is living with my mom and step-dad, and he is perfectly behaved and considerate with them!!!!!!! He does lots of chores and yard work, he goes to the grocery store to help my mom carry her groceries, etc, etc. I am SO glad it’s an option for all of us. Edited June 21 by Lecka Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 (edited) It’s still their house and always will be. They can come and go as they please. It’s nice to know when oldest is coming (youngest still lives here) but it’s not necessary. Edited June 21 by Pawz4me 11 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Well I feel ok about our expectations and my response to him. All is well. I went to lunch with him and his girlfriend today. I have a pool and I lay out almost naked now that we are empty nesters. I just want to have a heads up someone is going to come into my space. I mean I usually do work on Wednesday but he can’t depend on that. I could be sick, have a change of plans etc. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 My best friend’s son lives on the property next to her and her husband. He has been told to not show up unannounced because they might be naked in the pool. So I really don’t think it is unreasonable to expect a heads up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Scarlett said: My best friend’s son lives on the property next to her and her husband. He has been told to not show up unannounced because they might be naked in the pool. So I really don’t think it is unreasonable to expect a heads up. One time of that and he'll learn his lesson forever. 29 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 16 minutes ago, Pawz4me said: It’s still their house and always will be. They can come and go as they please. It’s nice to know when oldest is coming (youngest still lives here) but it’s not necessary. Same here. I want my son to always think of our homes as his homes, no matter how old he is. My parents never expected any kind of advance notice from my brother or me, either. We were always welcome at any time. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 We have two biological children and at least two bonus children who live elsewhere but use our home as a laundromat. We ask them to ask us before they come over. Usually their laundry is done Friday night Saturday day as they aren't observant of the Jewish Sabbath and we are. They need to also ask to use the cars as we have 2 cars and 5 drivers. So far so good. But we got very explicit with our needs and desires because while it's always going to be their home base it's not where they LIVE anymore and we get priority. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinball Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 If you have a key to my house or know where I hide it, you are welcome to come in whenever you want. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 We have one child who lives locally. We don't expect him to let us know when he is coming by. We live closer to where he is often working, so he may come by on a lunch break or stop by at other times on his way to or from work. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinball Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 13 minutes ago, Scarlett said: have a pool and I lay out almost naked now that we are empty nesters You should be nice to him in case you get skin cancer and need someone to care for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Bootsie said: We have one child who lives locally. We don't expect him to let us know when he is coming by. We live closer to where he is often working, so he may come by on a lunch break or stop by at other times on his way to or from work. Well my issue is that I park in a garage and he would have no way of knowing if I am home. I really don’t want him just walking in on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, pinball said: You should be nice to him in case you get skin cancer and need someone to care for you Ha ha. That is funny stuff right there. And I am very nice to him. We have a great relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 4 minutes ago, Bootsie said: We have one child who lives locally. We don't expect him to let us know when he is coming by. We live closer to where he is often working, so he may come by on a lunch break or stop by at other times on his way to or from work. Does he knock or just walk in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinball Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Scarlett said: Ha ha. That is funny stuff right there. And I am very nice to him. We have a great relationship. I’m not kidding. skin cancer isn’t a joke 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Just now, pinball said: I’m not kidding. skin cancer isn’t a joke I have bigger fish to fry but thanks for your concern. I have very low Vit d levels and a bad colon with colon cancer on my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 17 minutes ago, Scarlett said: So I really don’t think it is unreasonable to expect a heads up. Are you trying to convince someone? Your house, your rules. I guess the only thing is that you could have been more clear about your expectations right up front when you gave him the invitation to come over "anytime" as it were. Now he knows what you exptect. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Just now, wintermom said: Are you trying to convince someone? Your house, your rules. I guess the only thing is that you could have been more clear about your expectations right up front when you gave him the invitation to come over "anytime" as it were. Now he knows what you exptect. No. Just making conversation. He has been moved out a year and never showed up without warning so it did not occur to me he would do otherwise to do his laundry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 This is reminiscent of "Failure to Launch"! 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 23 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Does he knock or just walk in? He will usually just walk in. If he thinks I may not have heard him and he will frighten me to hear someone else in the house he will yell, "Hello" as he is comig in the door. Often I will hear him driving up or his key unlocking the door. If I happened to be skinny dipping I would likely have a towel nearby to quickly wrap around myself. I would prefer that he feel comfortable walking in at any time than to protect agains the small chance that he might get a glimpse of skin. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 52 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Well I feel ok about our expectations and my response to him. All is well. I went to lunch with him and his girlfriend today. I have a pool and I lay out almost naked now that we are empty nesters. I just want to have a heads up someone is going to come into my space. I mean I usually do work on Wednesday but he can’t depend on that. I could be sick, have a change of plans etc. We don't have a pool. But, I am having so much trouble regulating body temp, that I feel over heated easily this summer so I am running around the house in my skivvies a lot. I put everyone on notice to always call before they want to come over. Always. Text is fine too but I need a heads up, and plenty of time to go put some clothes on otherwise folks are going to get an eyeful of mum that they might not have wanted! I don't think there is anything wrong with establishing a healthy boundary where adult kids know they are loved and welcomed home, but mum and pops have a life, an empty nest life now, and lack of respect for giving a courtesy call could end embarassingly. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 (edited) My dc all live at home still, but last summer dd was in a dorm-type house at her university in our city. She'd just come into the house unannounced when she came back to visit her cat, etc. She still had her room here, and was moving back home for the fall term. For my mil in our city, there are 5 of her adult children living within a 5 minute drive. We all walk into her house using the push-code and yell 'hello.' We pop by to visit or sometimes for an emergency toilet break if out running or biking nearby. All her kids grew up in that house, and it's always been an open door with no expectation of arranging a visit. When we've had washer/dryer issues and wanted to use her facilities, we did pre-arrange times for this. Edited June 21 by wintermom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 My local adult child is welcome in my home anytime with no advance notification. Wouldn’t have it any other way. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 11 minutes ago, annandatje said: My local adult child is welcome in my home anytime with no advance notification. Wouldn’t have it any other way. So they just walk in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 Yes, she still has key and walks in. If it is a planned event such as dinner party, then I know she is joining us. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 (edited) Just now, annandatje said: Yes, she still has key and walks in. If it is a planned event such as dinner party, then I know she is joining us. But she might just walk in at any time and you not expect her? Edited June 21 by Scarlett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 Yes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 3 minutes ago, annandatje said: Yes. Interesting. No concerns about TeA going on or nakedness in the pool etc? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 We do anything this kid needs. Can I cook a meal at your house? Sure. Can I borrow the truck? Sure. Can I come go through the stuff I left in storage? Sure. Just let us know you are coming. Or knock at the front door. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 No pool and got rid of hot tub years ago. We close our bedroom door prior to having sex. All our kids understand that a closed door means we’re sleeping, showering, dressing or having sex. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookbard Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I still walk into my parents' place all the time whether they're there or not. I can't imagine them being upset - I guess if the door was locked I'd get the hint, but that's rarely the case. It still feels like the family farm, my siblings work on it and I help out there in season, and a sibling will take over when my parents can't manage it any longer. Maybe it would be different in a suburban home though. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Just now, bookbard said: I still walk into my parents' place all the time whether they're there or not. I can't imagine them being upset - I guess if the door was locked I'd get the hint, but that's rarely the case. It still feels like the family farm, my siblings work on it and I help out there in season, and a sibling will take over when my parents can't manage it any longer. Maybe it would be different in a suburban home though. I have the codes to my parents house but I never walk in without announcing I am coming or that I am there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 I just don’t want anyone coming in to my space without notice. I would be so nervous all of the time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I think it's very reasonable to expect advance notice or ringing the bell or knocking instead of just walking in. We always rang the bell at my parents' and at my in-laws' homes, and they appreciated it. They didn't like the startle factor. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 1 hour ago, Scarlett said: Well my issue is that I park in a garage and he would have no way of knowing if I am home. I really don’t want him just walking in on me. He's your son. I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. He "just walked in" on you when he lived at home, didn't he? What's the difference now? It's not like he's suddenly just a random acquaintance because he doesn't live at home any more. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 1 minute ago, Catwoman said: He's your son. I guess I just don't understand what the big deal is. He "just walked in" on you when he lived at home, didn't he? What's the difference now? It's not like he's suddenly just a random acquaintance because he doesn't live at home any more. Because when he lived there I had an idea when he would show up. I lived my life accordingly. And now I don’t expect anyone to open my door unexpectantly. And I live my life accordingly. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 12 minutes ago, klmama said: I think it's very reasonable to expect advance notice or ringing the bell or knocking instead of just walking in. We always rang the bell at my parents' and at my in-laws' homes, and they appreciated it. They didn't like the startle factor. Thank you! It is the startle factor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMWB Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 This is such an interesting thread to me, I’ve never considered anything but what our family does as ‘normal’. lol, but no judgement your house, your rules. But no, no pool or hot tub to be concerned about. And honestly my parents are hardly empty nesters. As soon as the very last of the kids moved out, my grandma moved in until she passed away last year. And then due to some schooling issues, a grandson came over every school day after school because he could walk to grandparents house. The coolest room of the house (that I can’t imagine them sitting with no clothes on it simply isn’t that hot here) is the living room that has huge windows looking to the front of the house so they would see us coming up. And they would make tea only in the bedroom, and I generally wouldn’t come by in the evening without them knowing that we were coming. I mean, generally I do send a text or call or had a specific invitation to come over. But I would think nothing of showing up without that, and yes, always walk in and say ‘hello’ - just like when I did live there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 By the same token — my son doesn’t want us showing up with no notice or just walking into his living space….. I do think we also have a different situation with him living in the same town. For people whose kids live in another state or several hours away, there just is not going to be random dropping in. Or if there was, it would be a treat. I think it’s pretty reasonable to have more boundaries when somebody lives in the same town and may be dropping in more than once a week. My son drops in 1-3 times a week…. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 I guess the startle factor is the problem. I have Life 360 and know when Dh is coming home…. So I would for sure like to know when a kid is walking in. It isn’t that he isn’t welcome anytime. He for sure is. Just let me know so I am dressed and don’t have a heart attack when you walk in. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 Just the other day I had a super skimpy robe on at bedtime. I was on the phone with my friend and came into the living room and was shocked to see ds there. I backed out and got decent…. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 2 hours ago, Lecka said: I have told my 19yo he needs to check with me before coming over, and he must have my permission to use the kitchen and have someone check it’s clean before he leaves. My husband has told him “you don’t need to call before you come over.” Our actual issues are he wants to watch tv in the living room with streaming services. He is doing good about this now, he gets he needs to be considerate. No longer an issue. The other issue is wanting to come and make a cake or something in our kitchen, because we have a mixer and things like that. But then not cleaning up adequately or not managing his time properly and wanting to start too late to finish before it’s later than I like. Without those two issues, I don’t care, he can come and go. But he is somebody where I feel like it needs to be very direct and clear, if there’s something I don’t like. And if he doesn’t like that, fine, don’t come use the kitchen here and don’t come here to watch tv. But currently he will check with us and we watch some shows together. Oh, there is also eating here. There are some things I think are inconsiderate but I kind-of thought they were considerate when he was living here — so it hasn’t come up… basically he does check with me. He can call or text if I’m not home, too. I think this way it keeps it clear and he would rather do that too than have me think he has been inconsiderate. This is more like — no, you can’t just eat all the snack food. That kind of thing. I know it sounds controlling, but it’s not my fault he doesn’t just know not to eat all the snack food. I think it’s inconsiderate and it’s not why we buy snack food. I have to say, I would not personally offer to let him do his laundry here, but I would let him if he asked, but that would make it more like — it’s on my terms and I’m doing him a favor. I don’t think it hurts someone to go to a laundromat if they don’t want to ask. That is my dynamic with my son. However — he is a sweet kid and I love him! We are hospitable when he comes over and we have a nice time. My husband talks on the phone with him almost every day and I text with him 1-2 times a week. We normally eat lunch with him every Saturday afternoon (and this is when he spends time with his brother every week), but lately he has been working on some Saturdays, but we all plan to get back to that soon when he stops working at the end of the summer. Although, he may keep some shifts, I don’t know. I could tell our son cooked st our house both times he was here. But he cleaned up after himself so that’s fine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I am not worried about being startled, but I am interested in establishing a more adult relationship, in some ways, which I think is very appropriate to our situation. I also think a lot of people already have that more adult relationship, and it’s not an issue at all. I think we have basically got it now, but it’s new enough I think it’s still good to have some clarity about some of the guidelines I would like to be followed. The other thing is that he does have his own space in the same town, he isn’t visiting or living with us for “this” space to be “his” communal space. I am not going to drop in to his space to do things, either, without checking with him. I think it is part of us seeing his space as his space, too, because we “could” just go into his space, it’s possible. Honestly there are ways I didn’t grow up with physical boundaries, and earlier in our marriage we had times that relatives (on both sides) would call and say “we’re coming tomorrow, and we’re spending the night for 3 nights.” Maybe we are just having to make a point to do things that are natural to others. I’m not comparing to Scarlett, but more to say — maybe we are going to some conscious effort to do things other people just do without thought. But I don’t want to have a relationship where we feel free to go into each other’s space in that kind of way. I am also a big believer that if I have boundaries, I am teaching my kids how to have boundaries. But again I think these are things that a lot of people “just do” and it’s a total non-issue. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 The situation that you described was that he had been at the house when you were not there and that you did not know he was going to be there. In that case you would not have known if he knocked or not. It sounds as if your discomfort goes beyond his just walking into your house unannounced so that you aren't startled. It sounds as if you want some warning before he is at your house, whether you are home or not. Like you said, you want to know WHEN he will be there, not that he IS there. I see nothing wrong with that, if that is what you would like at your house. I would just make sure that you are clear regarding how much notice you would like. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 My adult kid is always welcome, but lives far enough away that any visits are planned. He just walks in when he arrives, but we generally talk and make a plan first. I can’t imagine him walking in unannounced. I moved away and didn’t live near parents, so no experience or expectations, really. I do think a quick heads up text when on the way over would be appreciated, because of the startle factor. And definitely at night! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 21 Author Share Posted June 21 (edited) 37 minutes ago, Bootsie said: The situation that you described was that he had been at the house when you were not there and that you did not know he was going to be there. In that case you would not have known if he knocked or not. It sounds as if your discomfort goes beyond his just walking into your house unannounced so that you aren't startled. It sounds as if you want some warning before he is at your house, whether you are home or not. Like you said, you want to know WHEN he will be there, not that he IS there. I see nothing wrong with that, if that is what you would like at your house. I would just make sure that you are clear regarding how much notice you would like. Yes but I might have been there. He had no way of knowing for sure. But either way I want to know. Adding, if he thinks it is ok to drop by and walk in any time I would have to always be on high alert for him stopping by. Edited June 21 by Scarlett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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