Lockers in school

[Lecka]

Yes, I had a high school student refuse to use a locker.  He did know how to use a lock, his 6th grade class had lockers inside the classroom and they learned to use the locks during that year.  It was at a K-6 elementary school and part of their preparation for middle school.

 

I had a lot of issues and in picking my battles, this was nowhere near making it into the places I would put my energy.  
 

I think it sounds like you have a sweet daughter who is doing well in school, to think you would march in and make her use the locker.  
 

Here they actually put QR codes on the lockers and you get to choose your own locker if you want one…. A lot of kids don’t want one.  It doesn’t make sense to me either, but that is the situation.  They can at least pick a convenient location in the building.  When we went on the tour the counselor was talking about it as “if” your child wants a locker.  

[kbutton]

1 minute ago, Terabith said:

And some kids don’t know left from right and really cannot learn it.  My kid was literally curling up in the fetal position in the hallway and under desks at school from the stress of having to open the lockers.  It’s an absolutely ridiculous hill for anyone to choose to die on. 

Yeah, there might be someone who could help with “just remember if it doesn’t work the first time, you might have gone the wrong way” or something, but once you realize you can’t do something 90% or more of peers are doing easily, the lizard brain comes alive, and then you can’t connect.

Brains are weird!

[teachermom2834]

2 minutes ago, kbutton said:

It’s impossible to learn if literally everyone that shows you leaves out information about turning past zero or whatever it is that finally made me successful. They usually just dial it all over really fast. Even knowing if it’s left right left or the reverse—it’s like watching someone speed solve a Rubik’s cube.

I agree. Like I said I did not find it easy when I first had to learn. I wouldn’t tell my dd to just figure it out. She has actually helped a lot of people who did want to learn. So I’m certainly not worried about her friends because they know she can teach them if they really want to. Or at least they could try. 
 

I’m really not losing sleep over this. I did just find it curious because they have so many books. Some kids using rolling suitcases that honestly are a hazard to other kids in the hallways. It’s not like they don’t have stuff. But everyone is free to do as they please and been a high schooler is hard. Whatever relieves stress works for me. For my dd that is definitely using her locker.

[kbutton]

Just now, teachermom2834 said:

 

I’m really not losing sleep over this. I did just find it curious because they have so many books. Some kids using rolling suitcases that honestly are a hazard to other kids in the hallways. It’s not like they don’t have stuff. But everyone is free to do as they please and been a high schooler is hard. Whatever relieves stress works for me. For my dd that is definitely using her locker.

I’m more concerned about what kind of environment we’re providing when kids can’t or won’t problem solve outside of actual negative experiences and duress.

My kid will probably have a rolling small suitcase next year. He has health issues. It’s a small campus, so maybe it won’t matter.

[Annie G]

We got our first lockers in 7th grade and our home room teacher showed us how to work the combination locks. The paper they gave us also showed it. Two people shared a locker and between the class instruction and our friends, we figured it out. Some faster than others, of course.  Nobody really expected us to master it on the first try and I know teachers had to help kids for weeks.   
I’m almost 63 and still friends with my 7th grade locker buddy. I loved sharing a locker, and we often stashed things in friends’ lockers that were close to a class.  5 minutes between classes, but we had ten minute breaks twice a day so that worked out well for locker visits. 
I think it taught me a lot about thinking ahead- which books I needed to bring to which class, which books I needed to take home to study, etc. 

[Clemsondana]

I asked my kid if his teammates ever talked about using lockers (homeschool kid on a public school ball team).  He said that when he said something about lockers they said 'oh, yeah, we have those...' in a way that implied that they rarely used them. But, on block schedules they only have 4 classes and 1 is usually PE or study hall, so only 3 books to carry around if they ever actually use books.  They also tend to leave their stuff in the baseball clubhouse, which has open 'lockers' but also only ball players use it.  They may steal your snickers and drink your water, but your coat or backpack is safe.  🙂 

I tend to tell my kids that I don't want to hear complaints about fixable problems - I don't tell other people's kids that, but with my own I'd tell them that they have a choice - learn the locker combo or carry stuff - but make their decision and be quietly ok with it.  I, too, am flummoxed that so many people have struggled so much with lockers, just because I don't know anybody who couldn't open them when we were in school.  We practiced in 6th grade when we first got them, and then everybody used them.  In some schools we had our own locks, and in others the locks were built in.  If you buy a lock, it comes with directions, and it's not hard to find directions online, so poor directions don't seem like an insurmountable problem.  My kid had one for his footlocker at scout camp so he learned in elementary school.  For my last year or 2 of school, my boyfriend and I had lockers on opposite sides of the building so we knew the combination to both and used what made sense.  At our co-op the chemical cabinets in the 2 science rooms have locks, so I open a combination lock every time I do a lab. 

While this wouldn't be a hill to die on, I try to send my kids out into the world with as many skills as possible and also with the knowledge that they can figure out things, even if they have to look it up or practice at home.  Barring a disability of some sort, I'd be wanting them to practice this at home in case they ever needed to know.  It was less awkward to learn to open a lock at home as a teen than it would have been to have no idea what to do when I took the co-op job and was handed the combination to the lock.

[kirstenhill]

At the school where my high schoolers attend, having a locker is optional.  My kids have all had one, but it's mainly for putting their heavy winter coats in, or occasionally for storing a book that gets used rarely.   They carry around back packs with all their books (which really isn't too many - often times just English class novels), notebooks, their Chromebook, and school supplies. 

I had to teach my oldest DD how to open a locker when she started public school, and since then it has been tradition that as each kid has started school, their older sibling still at the school taught them how to open their locker.  But I'm sure they wouldn't have figured out without help how to do it - it's the only place they ever see a lock like that, since bike locks nowadays are all key operated.  We have a combination lock on a storage shed in our yard, but it's a very different style.  I always kind of assumed this was "homeschooler problem" - that probably whatever was the first year that students had lockers, everyone was taught how to do it...but since my kids have all started school older, they missed the memo on learning it.  But maybe it's just becoming an outmoded skill?

[ScoutTN]

Ds16 has the one, but has no time between classes to access it and cannot work the lock. Public charter school.

[lauraw4321]

My DD's very large high school has lockers, but they aren't assigned and no one could use them anyway because you don't have enough time between classes. The only place that lockers are used is in the band room for band instruments. DD's backpack is insanely heavy. 

[Alice]

I was at an escape room once with five boys, all middle schoolers (two were my kids). They were all homeschooled or went to a small private school. They were all smart kids. One ended up scoring perfectly on the SAT math section, one is National Merit Scholar studying computers and robotics, one is a chemistry major, etc. I was only in there because this particular escape room required an adult. I kind of just stood there and let them solve everything, which they did- quickly and easily. Until they got to the combination lock. They knew the numbers from another puzzle but none of them had any idea how to do it. And combination locks really aren't intuitive if you haven't been taught. I opened it for them and rose in their estimation...it was like I had superskills in their minds. 😁

 

[teachermom2834]

I agree combination locks aren’t intuitive! But I do stand by my opinion that most people can be taught. Most. 

Now they may have no real desire to learn. I admit I would bristle at my intelligent dd declaring “I can’t” to a basic task that would improve her life. She was 14 when she started high school and for me that is still young enough to say “hey now…we aren’t admitting defeat this easily. We are going to learn how to do this and then you can reap the benefit for the next four years and beyond.” 
 

But that’s just me. And my dd would want to learn so it’s all just musing.

[Tap]

14 hours ago, hjffkj said:

I imagine most kids who say opening is too hard don't actually care about using the locker and just use the difficulty as an excuse.

Yep! This is what I think as well. They don't care about the lock. Too lazy to learn, and it is easier to carry. 

My daughter had a locker assigned to her all the years of high school due to he medical condition. She never used it, even though she knew how to use the lock. 

[almondbutterandjelly]

Also, schools have trends.  I went to two different high schools.  At the first one, everybody had a locker and all the rooms were relatively close, and everybody carries their book or two in their arms.  

In the second high school, everybody used backpacks.  Lockers were on the first floor of a three story building, and all of the classes were on the third floor.  I didn't own a backpack before this school because they weren't a trend, but I borrowed a backpack from my brother once I realized that was what was done.

Trends.  The life blood of high school.  🙂 

[SKL]

I was thinking ...

It seems to me that when kids start high school, the school gives certain introductory lessons and allows initial grace for certain things.  In a school where everyone is assigned a locker with an attached combination lock, it would seem that all the incoming 9th graders would be given instructions in how to use that lock, then sent out to practice that.  For most kids, working together or alone, and given a little time dedicated to practicing this skill, this would be enough.  The others would be encouraged by peer pressure to try a bit harder.

If your car is full of current juniors / seniors, it is very likely that these kids never got the traditional introduction to their high school building, because of Covid.  The schools decided not to backtrack and give the 9th grade orientation in 11th grade (now that we're allowed to congregate in halls again).  So a lot of kids didn't learn, which is OK, because the backpack option works.

I think it's perfectly reasonable for moms of B&M students to assume that their kids are learning "how to school" in school along with their peers.  It wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask my kid, "did you learn how to do a combination lock yet?  If not, let's do that now."  But if one moved from homeschooling to public school at some point, one would know that there may be some "how to school" skills that need to be discussed at home.

[teachermom2834]

I think these are kids that didn’t get it on the first day of 9th grade when they had time to practice - and part of orientation included opening their lockers to find goody bags and candy so they all did get them open with help at least once. I think the ones that didn’t master it gave up and were too reluctant to ask for help and just accepted their fate of carrying three bags around all day. It’s not all the kids by any stretch. If I have five or six kids in my car it might be 1-2. Most of the kids use their lockers. A handful of them- enough that their bags take up so much room they have to leave them in hallways carry their stuff all day. It’s their choice for sure and the school lets kids do what they are comfortable with within reason and no one gets shamed either way. 
 

I don’t think the kids are stupid. Which is why I keep saying they are smart. I think they are ones more passive about asking for help. I was one of those kids so I feel for them. I see, and I think we have discussed here, the reluctance of kids and adults to ask for help and it can be a hindrance. This is one thing I have noticed and am a bit bothered by. Not so much I judge the kids. One of these kids is one of my absolute favorites. I wish the kids would feel more comfortable asking for help and make their lives easier. I would definitely encourage mine to. Parenting differences abound.  I’m sure some parents don’t know or care and I think that is fine too. Parents have alot to think about. 

 

[Heartstrings]

22 hours ago, EKS said:

People don’t expect their kids to be able to figure this stuff out on their own?  I’m honestly stunned.

I don’t see how one could figure out a combination lock completely on their own.  You have to do the numbers just right, go back around making sure to pass zero only on the second turn, I don’t know that that in particular is intuitive on it it’s own.  It’s easy remember after being shown but not something most people would just think up the first they ever see a combo lock. 
 

I would think school lockers are the first time a LOT of kids encounter a combo lock.  I have a few digital locks at home but prefer key locks over combo locks so we don’t actually own any combo locks at all.  

[SKL]

21 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

I think these are kids that didn’t get it on the first day of 9th grade when they had time to practice - and part of orientation included opening their lockers to find goody bags and candy so they all did get them open with help at least once

If these kids started 9th in 2020 or 2021, they didn't get that orientation period.

[teachermom2834]

I couldn’t even tell you how to open a combination lock. I could do it from muscle memory but I would have to look up actual directions to teach someone. 
 

So I am all for needing to be shown/taught/practice. I never said kids should just know or just figure it out. I did say I was frustrated by, and even though I’ve been scolded, I’ll stand by saying that I am frustrated by kids just saying they can’t because it is too hard. If they don’t want to that is fine. But it makes me sad for someone to really think they can’t do it. Because most people can if someone takes the time to show them. I’d rather they learn than think they aren’t capable. But again, I would teach my kid so that’s my parenting choice and other people can make theirs. 

[teachermom2834]

3 minutes ago, SKL said:

If these kids started 9th in 2020 or 2021, they didn't get that orientation period.

They are my dd’s classmates. These are actual kids I know. 10th graders. They went through the exact orientation my dd did. 
 

They could have been absent. I don’t know everything. 

Edited March 14 by teachermom2834

[SKL]

2 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

They are my dd’s classmates. These are actual kids I know. 10th graders. They went through the exact orientation my dd did. 

Ok, then the other factor would be that since the older classes all got used to not using lockers (because of Covid rules), locker use has fallen out of fashion.  Much like winter boots in high school.

Teens don't consider it a need to do anything extra to learn something they won't use.

I don't know how to use some of the things in our house.  I don't need to, don't want to, don't care.  If I ever decide I want or need to, I'll figure it out.  But if you ask me today, it's true that I don't know how.

Edited March 14 by SKL

[teachermom2834]

Just now, SKL said:

Ok, then the other factor would be that since the older classes all got used to not using lockers (because of Covid rules), locker use has fallen out of fashion.  Much like winter boots in high school.

Haha. Yes. Agreed.

There were no covid rules against lockers in my dd’s private school. The majority of kids in my dd’s school use lockers. A non zero number find the locks too hard and I found that unusual so I posted about it. But it really isn’t anything I am losing sleep over it a problem I need to solve. 

Sometimes we just post something that pops into our head. I promise I am not distressed.

[SKL]

1 minute ago, teachermom2834 said:

Haha. Yes. Agreed.

There were no covid rules against lockers in my dd’s private school. The majority of kids in my dd’s school use lockers. A non zero number find the locks too hard and I found that unusual so I posted about it. But it really isn’t anything I am losing sleep over it a problem I need to solve. 

Sometimes we just post something that pops into our head. I promise I am not distressed.

I got the impression that almost all of the smart kids in the school don't use lockers.

If it's just a minority, then I would take them at their word that it's not easy to use the locks.  Maybe they stick a lot and make the kids late for class, which would be a bigger problem for high achievers than the need to carry their stuff around.

If I were in that car with those girls, I might have said something like, "why don't you go to the office and tell them your locks aren't working?"  And see what they say.

[teachermom2834]

The kids at my dd’s school use lockers. They have lots of books and after school activities. They have time to go to their lockers between class. 
 

A number of them do not use them because they say they are too hard. They can’t open them. They can’t undo the locks. They say they will just carry all their stuff. So they carry all their stuff. Usually a very full backpack, a lunch, and a duffel bag, all day every day. When it is suggested they try to get a different locker/ learn how to use the lock, they say oh I will just carry my stuff. The impression is that asking for help is just too hard/embarrassing or that they really don’t believe they will ever be able to open the lock because it is just too hard.

I find this discouraging. I would encourage my daughter, strongly, to learn to open her locker. That is it. The post really wasn’t any deeper. I wasn’t trashing anyone. We often post on differences in the way people function that we notice.

I’m not going to call these kids out further. If they want to carry their stuff they can. Maybe they have a need I don’t know about and don’t need to. Maybe they have a security item or have accidents and carry a change of clothes or any thing that isn’t my business. I don’t really care. We just sometimes muse about things we see in people/kids and this was that. Hey, why won’t these kids ask for help? I wish they would. Is opening a lock something people in your life can’t do? 
 

Maybe 30 years ago the kids that showed up unprepared actually couldn’t open their lockers and it just wasn’t socially acceptable to admit like it is now? That could be. I’d rather kids carry their stuff than be unprepared…
 

It really is wasn’t that serious of a post. I’m sorry it caused such a stir. 

[gardenmom5]

dudeling had access to a locker - he refused to use it..  I think it was the idea of a locker that really put him off of one.

 

[Heartstrings]

20 hours ago, kbutton said:

It’s impossible to learn if literally everyone that shows you leaves out information about turning past zero or whatever it is that finally made me successful. They usually just dial it all over really fast. Even knowing if it’s left right left or the reverse—it’s like watching someone speed solve a Rubik’s cube.

Yes!! Turn past zero is not intuitive.  I get so frustrated when people give me codes but not the “trick”.   Sure your door code is 3-2-1-5, but is it Big Button-3-2-1-5 or 3-2-1-5-Big Button?    

[SKL]

I just remembered.  When we moved into this house, there was a safe hidden in the pantry.  There's what looks like a safe combination inside a cupboard door.  I tried to figure out the safe, but I was never able to.  Must be a different turn-past rule that I'm not smart enough to guess.  😛

[SKL]

Given the clarification that most of the kids at school do use their locker, I agree that I'd be mildly annoyed if my kid came home and started whining that she "has to" carry loads of crap around all day because she won't troubleshoot her locker.  But I think I'd let her make that choice.  Natural consequences.

I have more control over what happens in my house ... up to a point.  For example, afaik, one of my kids has never changed a light bulb.  She says "I don't know how."  I will be forcing her to change a certain lightbulb in the near future, because that's just ridiculous.  She will also be changing the battery in her bedroom's smoke detector.  I will have to fight her tendency to avoid new things, fueled by OCD, but I can't send my kids out into the world without feeling able to do such simple and necessary things.

TBH as a 57yo mom, I find it exhausting to fight my kid's OCD-fueled reluctance to do a lot of things.  I do way too much for this kid.  I don't really have an excuse.  I'm lazy.  I definitely pick my battles.

[frogger]

This thread made me feel old and completely out of touch. That is all. Carry on.

[Miss Tick]

When we toured our local school they talked about the lockers and as for the combination locks they said, just as you should expect these days, "there's an app for that"

Dd says she uses her locker 3 or 4 times a day. Her backpack always seems to weigh a ton, so I would love to dive in and optimize her process! but obviously I don't. I'm saving patience points with her for when I have to teach her to drive.

[Dmmetler]

I have dyspraxia and struggle with combination locks because even a small instability or tremor invalidates the whole process. Basically everyone close to me in the hall knew my combination and would open it for me, and in the band room, I knew where the master key was kept and would use that to open my locker. 

I requested a keyed locker on every IEP meeting I was allowed to attend, and never got one because "we have to be able to open them all"

There are reasons other than laziness that a kid would choose not to use a locker. If my classmates hadn't been willing to support me when my school didn't, I would have been carrying everything with me, or maybe just using my band locker (since the band director WAS willing to let me use a key). 

[Heartstrings]

1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

A number of them do not use them because they say they are too hard. They can’t open them. They can’t undo the locks. They say they will just carry all their stuff. So they carry all their stuff. Usually a very full backpack, a lunch, and a duffel bag, all day every day. When it is suggested they try to get a different locker/ learn how to use the lock, they say oh I will just carry my stuff. The impression is that asking for help is just too hard/embarrassing or that they really don’t believe they will ever be able to open the lock because it is just too

I do think it’s worth noting that it’s such a number of them.  

[kbutton]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

I think it's perfectly reasonable for moms of B&M students to assume that their kids are learning "how to school" in school along with their peers.  It wouldn't have crossed my mind to ask my kid, "did you learn how to do a combination lock yet?  If not, let's do that now."  But if one moved from homeschooling to public school at some point, one would know that there may be some "how to school" skills that need to be discussed at home.

So many of those unwritten rules are school or even grade-specific and are completely different than when I went to school. If I had switched schools in 9th instead of 8th, it wouldn’t occur to me to that lockers were combo locked instead of keys like my high school’s.

My parents’ advice when I was in school was healthy, which is exactly why none of it applied to my school experience, lol! I had an unusually snotty class full of people who resisted the most basic stuff. Our class was infamous for making super awesome teachers break down and rant at the class for their lack of cooperation and general…not sure what word applies. Intractability? 

2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:
 

I don’t think the kids are stupid. Which is why I keep saying they are smart. I think they are ones more passive about asking for help. I was one of those kids so I feel for them. I see, and I think we have discussed here, the reluctance of kids and adults to ask for help and it can be a hindrance. This is one thing I have noticed and am a bit bothered by. Not so much I judge the kids. One of these kids is one of my absolute favorites. I wish the kids would feel more comfortable asking for help and make their lives easier. I would definitely encourage mine 

Culture around asking for help is so varied. I agree that it’s important to ask, but with gifted kids, let’s just say imposter syndrome is real. And to be honest, there is a reason the Far Side comic about the gifted kid pushing the pull door (or maybe the reverse) is funny—we all someone like that, and that person is probably tired of the dynamic.

And asking for help and being able to identify what is missing when that help doesn’t work aren’t remotely the same skill. 

1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

, I’ll stand by saying that I am frustrated by kids just saying they can’t because it is too hard. If they don’t want to that is fine. But it makes me sad for someone to really think they can’t do it. Because most people can if someone takes the time to show them. I’d rather they learn than think they aren’t capable. 

I agree, but their capability of learning or problem-solving doesn’t always align with the situation, and a lot of adult’s won’t go that extra mile. They assume that “but they won’t try” or “they gave up too easily” is the whole story. 

32 minutes ago, Miss Tick said:

When we toured our local school they talked about the lockers and as for the combination locks they said, just as you should expect these days, "there's an app for that

Yikes, good for some, but my word, the assumption that we should stop asking people and talk the phone…

[Miss Tick]

9 minutes ago, kbutton said:

Yikes, good for some, but my word, the assumption that we should stop asking people and talk the phone…

Maybe even good for most, considering the cell phones in schools thread. Also some people here have mentioned not wanting to practice in public. But yeah, nothing works for everybody.

My friend enrolled her ds mid-semester and didn't find out for 3 weeks that he didn't know how to open his locker. She went in after school with him one day so he could practice. At the same time she discovered he hadn't been issued textbooks and had instead been googling every question. Kids can be cuckoo.

[Heartstrings]

1 hour ago, Miss Tick said:

When we toured our local school they talked about the lockers and as for the combination locks they said, just as you should expect these days, "there's an app for that"

Dd says she uses her locker 3 or 4 times a day. Her backpack always seems to weigh a ton, so I would love to dive in and optimize her process! but obviously I don't. I'm saving patience points with her for when I have to teach her to drive.

An app for the phone that aren’t supposed to have at school….

[Terabith]

Also…some locks are objectively harder than others.  I do not have an essential tremor, unlike my husband and both of my kids.  I have tons of experience opening a variety of combination locks and rarely have had issues, though I definitely remember the process of learning how to use one in junior high.  However, *I* could not open the locker my kid was assigned in seventh grade.  I had the combination correctly. The locker was old and slightly misaligned and the lock was particularly tricky. It is entirely possible my kid is in fact capable of operating a combination lock (but also completely possible she’s not), but being able to do one or two locks does not equal being able to do all of them.  

[Kuovonne]

There are lots of reasons why someone might choose to not uses a locker even if one is available. My kids were required to use lockers, and even so they would try to avoid using their lockers at times. Sometimes the kids themselves are not aware of the subtle reasons. 

If a teenager thinks that schlepping books and bags around is easier than using a locker, and the kids friends are using lockers, I suspect that there is more at play than simply not knowing how to unlock the locker. 

[Corraleno]

5 hours ago, Terabith said:

Also…some locks are objectively harder than others. 

This. When I was in HS we had to buy our own locks and I can remember standing in the store in front of a box of locks (back when locks were just loose in a box instead of encased in thick plastic), and I'd go through the whole box looking for the easiest to remember combinations (which were on a tag with each lock) and then trying different locks to see which were easiest to open. There was a significant, objective difference in how easy vs "fussy" the locks were — some you really had to get absolutely perfect on every number and if you under- or over-shot the number by a millimeter you had to start over. One year I ended up with a fussy lock and it was such a PITA, sometimes I'd have to do the whole routine 2-3 times to get it perfect enough to open, and who has time for that when you're rushing to class? And that's probably a much more common issue with built-in locks in old school lockers. I can totally understand a kid who gets assigned to a locker with a temperamental PITA lock deciding that it's just not worth the hassle and it's easier to just carry stuff around. 

[teachermom2834]

It’s an old school so definitely no QR codes and absolutely some malfunctioning lockers and I’m sure some are harder than others. And enough kids have opted to just carry stuff that it is a valid option that doesn’t get you shamed or embarrassed. Most kids use lockers. Enough don’t that you don’t stand out. You do sometimes not have a book because it is just too much to carry if you have all hard classes. But kids share and teachers don’t get mad because again- the school is very accommodating with whatever kids choose to do. So it really isn’t a major problem. 
 

The school is very supportive and wants everyone to be happy and if someone wanted to use their locker and expressed that it would be happening. So it’s not like it’s a real problem. 
 

It would be a problem for my dd because she really couldn’t carry all her stuff. But we’d solve her problem as I’m sure the ones that physically can’t carry their stuff do. Obviously. 

[rebcoola]

I wonder if it is something with having to do with learning their at school. My oldest 2 did gymnastics until.the pandemic and had lockers and all the kids some as young as 8 used them no problem but they brought locks from home.  So presumably they could sit and practice at home before performing in public parents may have been more hands on tban the high school lessons to