Are there *any* other people who have yet to give their kids tech toys/items?

[Storm Bay]

I really do not think that a kid who doesn't have a lot of tech items as a child will be 'behind' as an adult. My husband is a software engineer who owns his own company (he designs radiation therapy dosage calculation software), and most of my family members are techies of one sort or another. Although we all use computers all the time, as kids we had nothing. My mom wouldn't let us have video games, and my husband's family couldn't afford them (he eventually bought an Atari 800 with his own earnings and started programming on it). It's pretty easy to 'catch up.'

 

 

 

Nobody had PCs when I was a kid. There were none. There weren't even Apples yet when I was little. I grew up in the computer dark ages of the 1960s and 1970s. Yet there are many tech whizzes of my generation. It's true that the older you get as an adult, the harder it can be to be a beginner, but that window doesn't close when you're a child or even a teen.

 

Same with iPods, etc. Doesn't take a genius to learn them, and most of the programmers that started all this off didn't grow up with computers, either (those that programmed with Assembler, Basic, Fortran, etc, etc.) So, no, you don't need to have all of this when your dc are young in order for them to excel at it.

 

And tech toys aren't even part of this, as they don't teach those skills, but can be fun. But if tech includes computers and programming, then this is my 2 cents.

Edited December 27, 2008 by Karin

[Julie in Austin]

The only concern I have about "tech-less" children is this: that they might be predisposed to spend every moment of their first semester of college glued to a Wii or whatever because they haven't learned how to moderate their usage and/or they are overcome now that they can enjoy the "forbidden fruit."

 

That's why we have electronic toys and teach our children how to use them in moderation.

 

Which is not to say that I think *all* tech-less children will have this problem, just that it is something to be aware of. I know people raised in extremely restricted environments (food, not toys, tho) who really had problems moderating their consumption once they were on their own.

[TraceyS/FL]

My daughter had the opportunity to "hang-out" with 6 teens during a Christmas party. NONE of them would talk to her or even each other. They actually sat in the one girl's room texting each other... for hours - in silence. My daughter left and came to hang out with the adults. We were talking and laughing and singing Christmas carols. So she hung out with the adults.

 

I actually find this sad :(

 

If i upset someone, so be it - but this i find an example of piss poor parenting. No way are my kids plugged in in the company of others - and that this would go on makes me sad.

 

I met 2 friends at a Fort to tour once, 1 HS's and the other doesn't. All the kids got MP3 players for CHristmas, the non-HS'd ones got iPods and the other 4 kids got Disney ones.

 

I was:

1. appalled that the non-HS'd kids were allowed to get out of the vehicle at a historic site WITH their players and with them on.

2. That the non-HS kids kept going on and on how much BETTER theirs were because they were iPods.

3. That i had to finally put a stop to that - i snapped.

4. That they were allowed to wear and listen to them at the start of the tour. Because, no way would they be interested in "this type of thing".

 

Imagine their mothers SHOCK that they not only ended up interested - they were the ones at the front asking all the questions.

 

They are probably the biggest plugged in kids i know. They have a variety other interests (black belts & play instruments), but the prevailing thing is that they can't go unplugged and be entertained. That i find sad. I'm pretty sure 99% of the people i have encountered here don't have that expectation of their kids.

 

I have all 3 iPods sitting here - they gave them to me for the night, and now the almost 13yo is playing Lincoln Logs with the 9yo. Who, just bought those with her WM gift card instead of a Wii game (we stood at that display for a lonnnngggggg time).

 

ANyway, Colleen - i'm pretty sure that my kids would LOVE to come play with your boys. Sounds like you have some fun stuff and a great playground.

 

I hope what i'm trying to say makes sense. I admire your ability to be unplugged so much - LOL, i'm wayyyyyy too much of a gadget freak myself to do it.

[Daisy]

The only concern I have about "tech-less" children is this: that they might be predisposed to spend every moment of their first semester of college glued to a Wii or whatever because they haven't learned how to moderate their usage and/or they are overcome now that they can enjoy the "forbidden fruit."

 

That's why we have electronic toys and teach our children how to use them in moderation.

 

Which is not to say that I think *all* tech-less children will have this problem, just that it is something to be aware of. I know people raised in extremely restricted environments (food, not toys, tho) who really had problems moderating their consumption once they were on their own.

 

I think this is just a difference in parenting philosophy. The goal of our family is to build in our children an appetite for things that are not "tech-minded." We feel that raising a child in a tech-environment makes it more likely that the child will turn to those as stress-relievers, comfort, etc. as adults. Not unlike how some might turn to homemade mac-n-cheese when stressed.

 

We want our children to feel most comfortable with a book in their hand and not an I-Pod. However, this is just our family's choice. I can completely see how parents would reach the opposite conclusion.

[mcconnellboys]

My now 16 1/2 year old got a cell phone and ipod when he was about 14, or a freshman in high school. Music to share with his friends (they listen together at swim meets, etc.); cell phone to help me keep track of him - almost as good as a tracking collar, LOL.

 

They do not have their own computers; we have just one family computer and my husband has a laptop related to his work (owned by his workplace). Their computer time is very limited.

 

They do not own any sort of gaming device, whether portable and hand-held or something that hooks up to a television. I have no plans for such a purchase. In the past few years, because virtually everyone they know *does* possess such items, they play way too much, in my opinion, when they are visiting others. So I feel no need to bring more of it into the house.

 

A new government study has recently been released regarding tech gear. It pulls together a number of smaller, private studies that have been done over the past couple of decades, I believe. According to the one short news piece I saw on it before Christmas, it states that adverse affects begin to occur when usage is at only 8 hours per week (that's for total of cell phone, ipod, computer, television, videos/CD's/DVD's/gaming devices - everything). Average usage is at 45 hours per week....

 

Ipods are going to result in an epidemic of hearing loss among kids who are teens now, in my opinion. The ear buds fit down too deeply into the ear and even at low levels of play (which always increase over time, with usage), they are more damaging than earlier forms of earphones.

 

Cell phones are once again being looked at for contribution to various forms of cancers of the brain. I think we're way ahead of ourselves on tech usage and need to slow it down. I think your children will be thankful when they're older that you protected them from the hazards which may by then have firm associations with some of these types of tech gear.

[Jill- OK]

The only concern I have about "tech-less" children is this: that they might be predisposed to spend every moment of their first semester of college glued to a Wii or whatever because they haven't learned how to moderate their usage and/or they are overcome now that they can enjoy the "forbidden fruit."

 

That's why we have electronic toys and teach our children how to use them in moderation.

 

That's precisely one of the reasons I'm committed to teaching balance about things like 'techy' toys, computer time, etc. (The other thing? I like it when they choose to do those things, rather than simply follow my rules.)

 

 

Which is not to say that I think *all* tech-less children will have this problem, just that it is something to be aware of. I know people raised in extremely restricted environments (food, not toys, tho) who really had problems moderating their consumption once they were on their own..

 

I don't think that all tech-less children will have that problem, either...but I have noticed that out of all my children's friends, the one who was most restricted was the one who was the most fixated on the television. And I mean, coming-to-stare-over-my-husband's-shoulder-at-the-news fixated, lol.

 

An anecdote of one...but it sort of reinforced the decision to allow certain things in moderation.

 

(I know the OP addressed those who don't allow techy toys/gadgets...but I was excited to see someone who shares my concerns/philosophy! *Waves to Julie*)

 

P.S....I'm not sharing this to disparage those who don't allow technical stuff...my natural inclination is to downplay that kind of stuff in favor of outdoor play, work, and other pursuits, so we probably have more in common than not. And I want to reiterate that I'm concerned about my children having a problem with 'forbidden fruit' after leaving home; yours might do just fine. :-)

 

All that to say...it seems weird to feel compelled to apologize for technology-related toys, when I'm probably considered something of a Luddite among my 'real life' friends, lol. Another thing these boards are good for...showing me there's a whole world of folks I can point to that are at least as old-fashioned/conservative in areas as I am...and sometimes even more so! :-)

Edited December 27, 2008 by Jill, OK

[yarrow]

boys, age 10 & 14 and we are tech-free. My husband has spent years in the computer science field and is just now teaching the 14 yo some basic programming. The 14 yo has participated in building/programming robots with First Lego League for the last few years and will participate in the high school level of robotics for the first time this year. But no tech toys, no ipods, no cell phones and no interest in getting them. We have lots of land and woods and they have great fun outside. He was quite happy with lots of legos and a couple of board games for christmas.

[Jenny in Florida]

We want our children to feel most comfortable with a book in their hand and not an I-Pod. However, this is just our family's choice. I can completely see how parents would reach the opposite conclusion.

 

Again, though, I truly don't think this is an either/or thing. My kids both have a variety of tech-y stuff, as I said above. For the most part, we consider electronics tools, not toys, and we do have rules about how these goodies may and may not be used. But we definitely have them.

 

Nonetheless, both of my kids are big readers, especially my son. He reads tons more books than pretty much any other kid roughly his age that we know. For Christmas, he got 16 books, because we just kept thinking of things we knew he'd love to read.

 

And today, he spent about three hours in the backyard bulding things with PVC and the garden hose. His big outing of the day was a trip to Home Depot with Dad for more pieces to build with.

 

So, I don't think it's fair to assume that kids who have access to tech-y stuff will necessarily scorn more "traditional" pursuits.

[Nestof3]

I was genuinely interested in hearing from others who shy away from the tech stuff. I was looking for company from those who do share some of our preferences on this particular

 

That's actually why I chimed in, because I don't see us as a "techie" family though we do have some -- in fact everyone on this forum has some tech device b/c they use a computer and most likely a telephone. Believe it or not, there was a time when it was considered odd to own a telephone and even a television set. Most families own some sort of radio/CD player as well. So where are you drawing the line on acceptable tech items and non-acceptable? Are you referring to items that typically children would be drawn to but not adults? Are you speaking of tech items that have no merit to them?

 

This is why I posted. It seemed to me that the crux of your post had much more to do with the kinds of boys you would consider to be acceptable friends or enjoyable people (not tech addicts, able to enjoy a variety of things). I know many ladies who would find it utterly ridiculous to communicate with women they don't even "know" on an internet forum (LOL). I was trying to show that I don't see a necessary link between whether a child owns an MP3 player and whether they can have a great time playing in the woods.

 

After reading your quoted post, though, I see you really did just want to find out who here is devoid of tech items, but you might want to be a little more specific in your list so that those who respond know whether they meet the criteria to join the discussion about what tech items they don't own.

[Crissy]

That's actually why I chimed in, because I don't see us as a "techie" family though we do have some -- in fact everyone on this forum has some tech device b/c they use a computer and most likely a telephone. Believe it or not, there was a time when it was considered odd to own a telephone and even a television set. Most families own some sort of radio/CD player as well. So where are you drawing the line on acceptable tech items and non-acceptable? Are you referring to items that typically children would be drawn to but not adults? Are you speaking of tech items that have no merit to them?

 

 

 

Well, her original post did say this:

 

I'm talking about things ranging from cell phones to iPods to game systems to Guitar Hero ~ and so on.

 

 

She also specifically mentioned 'tech-toys', which led me to believe that she wasn't talking about the PC (she probably uses that for business purposes), televisions and telephones.

[Nestof3]

I'm talking about things ranging from cell phones to iPods to game systems to Guitar Hero ~ and so on.

 

She also specifically mentioned 'tech-toys', which led me to believe that she wasn't talking about the PC (she probably uses that for business purposes), televisions and telephones.

 

Well, that's why I was confused. I don't see a cell phone as a toy. I see it as a way to communicate when one is traveling. I will not drive without my cell phone. And she did not mention television which left me wondering if this is an acceptable tech toy or not? That's what led me into the discussion about how some technology can be used for what I deem very beneficial purposes, but since she mentioned MP3 players, I again wondered if all tech items were considered "bad" as I assume music and audio books are a good thing. SO I'm assuming she doesn't listen to one while running.

 

I am just confused which is why I suggested that she list the tech items she deems appropriate and ask if there are people on the board who only have those items.

[Brindee]

We don't have any technology here, and no one wants to come to our house either.

I do!!! :D

 

I'm not thrilled, but we just caved...dh got the kids a Wii this year. It will be strictly limited on what can be used and certain games will not be allowed. I'm kind of sad about it though!

 

Otherwise we don't have tech stuff. I have no clue how to use a remote, let alone anything else techy! I like it that way! I don't want to be tempted to turn on the tv and veg out in front of it. (We do have one tv but it's not watched very often....)

 

I had someone tell me that my boys are going to be sissies for not having that stuff (her exact words)! Huh? Well, they're well-mannered young men who respect their parents and make good choices, so I guess I'm okay with that! ;) They'll have to buy their own techy stuff,

[ThelmaLou]

We don't have much in the way of tech toys. No game systems, no cell phones for kids. My kids don't use the computer for anything other than writing papers. My two oldest have ipods, but use them very infrequently. (Mostly audiobooks, and they're very limited in their access to music.) We don't have cable or dish or whatever it's called. We don't even have call waiting or caller id, though I'm pushing for caller id. We do have a tv and dvd player becuase we enjoy watching movies. Other than that, I guess that's about it.

[Joanne]

Colleen,

 

I am sorry. I should not have posted an opposing opinion whe you clearly wanted support from like minded WTMers.

[dawn of ns]

Again, though, I truly don't think this is an either/or thing. My kids both have a variety of tech-y stuff, as I said above. For the most part, we consider electronics tools, not toys, and we do have rules about how these goodies may and may not be used. But we definitely have them.

 

Nonetheless, both of my kids are big readers, especially my son. He reads tons more books than pretty much any other kid roughly his age that we know. For Christmas, he got 16 books, because we just kept thinking of things we knew he'd love to read.

 

And today, he spent about three hours in the backyard bulding things with PVC and the garden hose. His big outing of the day was a trip to Home Depot with Dad for more pieces to build with.

 

So, I don't think it's fair to assume that kids who have access to tech-y stuff will necessarily scorn more "traditional" pursuits.

 

Ditto. I find that a weird assumption. We are a very geeky household with lots of computers and game systems and techy things. We're also filled to the gills with traditional toys, board games and books. Balance hasn't been hard to find and the techy stuff is no more prized then the books, playing outside or a deck of cards.

[dawn of ns]

 

I think the fact that we waited a bit to introduce the electronics, and that we don't have tv, has helped moderate their interest in them. They already had such strong interests elsewhere that there just isn't a ton of time for the other.

 

 

Or it may be just that most balanced kids figure out that electronic toys are simply another choice pretty quickly. We've had techy stuff since my kids were babies and they can often leave their gaming stuff alone for weeks at a time. They can still spend hours outside or hours with crayons and paper or hours constructing a Lego creation.

 

I really don't think techie stuff has any special power over kids other then what we as parents give it.

[fivetails]

*stares over at dd11 with the Nintendo DS glued to her paws* :tongue_smilie:

 

okay, she just got it for Christmas - not much different than me not wanting to put down the cassette tape walkman I got for Christmas when I was her age. ;)

 

We're middle of the road, I think....not overly "techy", but not without either....dh is a gamer - he's sitting here beside me playing a ps2 game as I type - and has always had a system (he has a ps2 and a ps3 at the moment) ...on the other hand, his other major hobby is cross-stitching. He builds models and does plastic canvas work too. :D

 

dd11 - she has her newly aquired DS and a ps2....she also has a digital camera & an mp3 player (not an ipod though) --- she enjoys those items, but she also LOVES doing crafts, playing games (she got Dogopoly and Scrabble for Christmas), imaginative play, outdoor stuff (she also got skates for Christmas) and things like that.... very active kid. :)

 

ds10 - has a normal cd player and some "techy" sort of items that are more tools for him than 'play' ...he has a special reading machine for audio books through the CNIB, a manual brailler along with access to a computerized one, for instance.....his favourite toy *ever* is an electronic game called "bop it" (well, his fave is he "extreme 2" version which I am trying to find one of since he wore his old one out) - but he also loves to climb and tumble and swing and bounce and do all sorts of physical stuff like that - and he loves to play pretend. :)

 

me - I have a digital camera....ummm....no game systems....I play with dd's and dh's sometimes, but I have a short attention span for that sorta thing...it pains dh to watch me play a game - play play play, oh rats I can't get through this level, eh okay can I have a diff game plz? :tongue_smilie: (He's the guy who must complete EVERY level and EVERY hidden mission and whatever)

 

dh and I both have cell phones - but they are our very first ones, so we're new to that...they're blackberry things and I only know half of what mine can do. :lol:

 

I'd rather go sledding than play with my phone. Waaaaay more!! ;)

[Tammyla]

:iagree: Interesting thought there, what is tech...:confused:

 

Around here a cell phone for me is a safety necessity, an mp3 is dd's music, a computer = e-mail, shopping and of course the board, TV is for weather updates,PBS, sports, news and watching netflix for all of us. The wii is our only tech item and imo, it's just a game system that gets the player off the couch as a bonus. (My dd and I have no interest in the wii, but everyone else and many of our guest do.) Wii fit is something we (even me) use a lot here in the winter.

 

I'm confused by the original question a little.

 

 

Well, that's why I was confused. I don't see a cell phone as a toy. I see it as a way to communicate when one is traveling. I will not drive without my cell phone. And she did not mention television which left me wondering if this is an acceptable tech toy or not? That's what led me into the discussion about how some technology can be used for what I deem very beneficial purposes, but since she mentioned MP3 players, I again wondered if all tech items were considered "bad" as I assume music and audio books are a good thing. SO I'm assuming she doesn't listen to one while running.

 

I am just confused which is why I suggested that she list the tech items she deems appropriate and ask if there are people on the board who only have those items.

Edited December 27, 2008 by Tammyla

[Colleen]

A new government study has recently been released regarding tech gear. It pulls together a number of smaller, private studies that have been done over the past couple of decades, I believe. According to the one short news piece I saw on it before Christmas, it states that adverse affects begin to occur when usage is at only 8 hours per week (that's for total of cell phone, ipod, computer, television, videos/CD's/DVD's/gaming devices - everything). Average usage is at 45 hours per week....

 

I wonder what they're considering adverse affects. It seems it'd be fairly difficult to establish correlations. Beyond, say, "Colleen reading the board right now = Colleen's breakfast dishes still aren't washed.":D

 

Ipods are going to result in an epidemic of hearing loss among kids who are teens now, in my opinion...Cell phones are once again being looked at for contribution to various forms of cancers of the brain. I think we're way ahead of ourselves on tech usage and need to slow it down.

 

Yes, those are valid concerns.

[Colleen]

I am sorry. I should not have posted an opposing opinion whe you clearly wanted support from like minded WTMers.

 

Yes, in this particular case, I was essentially looking for company. The variety of input, though, makes for interesting discussion. And I do appreciate what you said about not raising children who are "counter cultural in an aggregate of ways". While I'm not on the same tech bandwagon as some folks, it's important to me, too, that my boys are comfortable with the time and place in which they live. I hear you.

[Colleen]

I don't think it's fair to assume that kids who have access to tech-y stuff will necessarily scorn more "traditional" pursuits.

 

I know you weren't directly responding to me, Jenny, but just for the record, I'm not making this assumption. I'm sure we're all raising above average children here in Lake Wobegone (;)) ~ children who are well-rounded enough to appreciate a variety of pursuits. I have no doubt many young people who have an array of tech gadgets can and do enjoy outdoor pursuits & Lego creations, for example. Likewise, I have no doubt my boys enjoy tech "stuff" when the opportunity arises. It is not either/or, as I've reiterated in several follow-up posts. But my original comment was based upon an either/or in that some of us prefer to limit the tech gadgetry. (And yes, I know that term "gadgetry" is non-specific, but so be it.)

[Colleen]

I'm sorry I've confused you, Dawn. I can't be as specific as you'd like because the issue of what is or isn't "technology" and what does or doesn't feel good and right to us as parents is purely subjective.

 

That's what led me into the discussion about how some technology can be used for what I deem very beneficial purposes

 

Of course! I never said otherwise or implied that all technology is "bad".,

 

since she mentioned MP3 players, I again wondered if all tech items were considered "bad" as I assume music and audio books are a good thing. SO I'm assuming she doesn't listen to one while running.

 

Again, I never said I consider all tech items "bad". I feel somewhat as if you're intentionally misreading my posts in this thread. I just tossed a few items out there when writing my original post and I certainly didn't mean to imply those items are from the devil, for goodness sake. As it so happens, I do have specific health (hearing) concerns about MP3 players, but aside from that I prefer not to listen to anything while running, so no, I don't listen to one (or own one).

 

I am just confused which is why I suggested that she list the tech items she deems appropriate and ask if there are people on the board who only have those items.

 

Again, it's not as black-and-white as you're trying to make it out to be. I don't have a list, and don't want to create a list, of what we own and don't own, what is and isn't okay with me. I'm not even thinking in such specific, legalistic, terms. It so happens that we shy away from many of the tech items that are commonplace to young people today, and that lifestyle is for the most part just a natural process. I'm sorry if I sound confusing, but many people did identify with the heart of what I was saying so the conversation has been beneficial to me.:)

[Scarlett]

I'm sorry I've confused you, Dawn. I can't be as specific as you'd like because the issue of what is or isn't "technology" and what does or doesn't feel good and right to us as parents is purely subjective.

 

 

 

Of course! I never said otherwise or implied that all technology is "bad".,

 

 

 

Again, I never said I consider all tech items "bad". I feel somewhat as if you're intentionally misreading my posts in this thread. I just tossed a few items out there when writing my original post and I certainly didn't mean to imply those items are from the devil, for goodness sake. As it so happens, I do have specific health (hearing) concerns about MP3 players, but aside from that I prefer not to listen to anything while running, so no, I don't listen to one (or own one).

 

 

 

Again, it's not as black-and-white as you're trying to make it out to be. I don't have a list, and don't want to create a list, of what we own and don't own, what is and isn't okay with me. I'm not even thinking in such specific, legalistic, terms. It so happens that we shy away from many of the tech items that are commonplace to young people today, and that lifestyle is for the most part just a natural process. I'm sorry if I sound confusing, but many people did identify with the heart of what I was saying so the conversation has been beneficial to me.:)

 

I didn't read the whole thread, (sounds like it took a turn of sorts) but as to your first post...I have kept ds away from more techy stuff than most of the kids his age and still regret what he has. He saved his money and bought his own DS and I've let him have a lot of time on it the last few days...I can definitely see that it affects him adversely. He gets so wound up that I fear he will have a heart attack! How can that be healthy? Last night I had him shut it off and come and snuggle with me on the sofa so I could calm him down. Note to self: Severe limits on the ds are a must.

 

He has been asking for an XBox...not happening. That is one of the big reasons I was all for dh buying him a dirt bike last week.

 

I think ds watches too much tv and it is all up to me to limit it because dh is worse than ds about the tv. Ds is going to my parents for most of next week and I will be working on our plan for this coming semester...it will be including a limit on tv/ds/computer.

 

So I"m with you Colleen. I only wish 'we' lived on a dairy farm. :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, and I prefer to run in silence too. I often listen to Dave Ramsey during that time but it is more to kill two birds with one stone than to have noise in my ear.

[Kimm in WA]

Having 3 teenage boys, I do admit that being tech-free IS much easier when they are younger. Personality and hobbies/interests definitely plays a part, too.

 

First off, all my boys have read, read, read LOTS growing up and have had very limited TV and computer games.

 

My 15yo ds is computer-minded. He only gets 1 hr. computer gaming time per day (doesn't watch any tv unless it's news, weekly Netflix for family movie night, and occasional AFV or Extreme Makeover Home Edition). BUT, I don't limit the amount of time (well, really don't have to) he does programming his computer, which he built from "scratch", and fixing friends' computers. He does have some internet access, very limited and watched, but usu. just for looking up how to fix a computer problem.

 

13yo ds twins are not that much interested in the computers. Top of their Christmas list was still Legos - at 13, almost 14 - . . . that and books. They don't play computer games, but DO watch 15yo on them.

 

MIL wanted to buy a Wii for them this year. I was SO thankful that she DID ask (she's come a long way since we were meanies in disciplining our young son - when SIL did not . . . and GASP deciding to homeschool!). We suggested that instead of a Wii that they would get more use out of Lego Mindstorms NXT set (same exact price) and more along the lines of their interests. Closest family of friends got a Wii this year, so I was thinking that between our homes we'd never get them off ot the Wii!

 

OH MY! What a hit the Lego Mindstorms set has been - even 15yo who hasn't played Legos in years is loving it (though he's very interested in becoming an engineer, so it's right up his alley). I'm hoping it will bring 13yo's into some computer usage, actually, b/c their computer usage is limited to school - internet research, e-mailing co-op teachers, using it for projects, etc. . . For those not familiar with it, you can program the robot using the computer and there are websites with other ideas. They got it Christmas afternoon - got home at 7 p.m. and played with it 'til 11:30. Up yesterday and, with the exception of 1 hr. for a new computer game 13yo bought for 15yo, played/built robots ALL day until 8 p.m. While it DOES have some computer component (a lof of the extra ideas are online) I, who would love to be mostly tech-free, am happy because they are being creative and using their brains instead of losing brain cells over hours of gaming (not that all Wii or other gaming systems are that way).

 

My two cents,

Kimm in WA

 

Homeschooling 15yo ds, 13yo ds twins, and 8yo dd (who is still NO-tech - loves AG doll, reading, knitting, and the like)

[Storm Bay]

Well, that's why I was confused. I don't see a cell phone as a toy. I see it as a way to communicate when one is traveling. I will not drive without my cell phone.

 

Dh and I have cell phones, for the same reason you do. And they're definitely not toys.

 

However, for many teens today, a cell phone is more of a toy, with all the things many cell phones today can do. And it does cause some very poor socialization habits. I met a schoolteacher who had one student who could sent text messages without looking, so she had her cell phone in her hoodie pocket and was texting undetected during class. There are times when teens sitting in the same car are busy texting other friends, etc. So, I can see why many would lump this under tech toys when it comes to their dc. You can take photos, play games and do a number of other things with many phones.

 

As for me, I've never texted on my cell phone, and don't plan on doing that anytime soon. Perhaps when I have dc in university.

 

Our dc use our computer for school, but not as a toy. They play computer games when we go to my mil's 2-3 times a year, but haven't played the 2 or 3 we were given for them in several years.

[battlemaiden]

No games, ipods, handheld thingyabobs in our home either.

 

We fight against the influence constantly. All the neighbors have them and sit on their front porches staring at little screens :001_huh:. Their moms say, "go outside and play" and this apparently fits that request. :glare:My kids have felt left out at times, but mostly they get annoyed that those kids don't want to run and play.

 

I know perfectly well adjusted kids with homes full of electronics, but we have chosen to avoid them for now.

 

Jo

 

edit: We don't have any gaming devices like Xbox, Wii, or playstation. We *d0* have computer games. I hadn't read any of the answers when I posted and I can see there was some hair splitting on the topic. I just wanted to clarify.

 

We will eventually have a Wii, I think, but my dh insists the children all become fully literate before bringing it into the home.

Edited December 27, 2008 by battlemaiden

[Osmosis Mom]

I have kids in different ages and genders. To me it boils down to techno-stuff not being a means to an end, but in many cases (and call this materialistic or not) it is a matter of my kids appearing cool in front of peers and pals and friends. Just that. Being cool.

 

And don't underestimate the coolness factor amongst teens (and to some degree pre-teens). There are definitely some "regular" kids out there who totally beat their own drum (walk their own beat? or whatever that saying is, LOL!). My kids are already weirdo's being homeschooled and being a minority-religion. To me I felt that being hip with a few techy-items wouldn't hurt, and it hasn't.

 

On the note of your original post, Colleen, then you were sad about your ds's not having many pals. You have occasionally shared those sentiments here. Could it be that in your effort to relish the gold old times you are short-changing your kids by basically only introducing very specific avenues to them, thus possibly making them stand out amongst their peers?

 

I thought it was really "not nice" of you to allow your oldest to purchase his own Ipod except he wouldn't be allowed to basically use is (as pr. your post). That's hypocritical parenting, imo. I mean limits are fine, but you wrote that he wouldn't be allowd to use it in front of naybody, while working on his chores etc. So, why would he get one??? To keep it in his drawer and long for the day he can move out and get a life of his own?

 

Since we are not personal friends or know eachother in real life, then please don't get offended. I know you don't always appreciate opposing viewpoints, but so be it!!

[Osmosis Mom]

The only concern I have about "tech-less" children is this: that they might be predisposed to spend every moment of their first semester of college glued to a Wii or whatever because they haven't learned how to moderate their usage and/or they are overcome now that they can enjoy the "forbidden fruit."

 

That's why we have electronic toys and teach our children how to use them in moderation.

 

Which is not to say that I think *all* tech-less children will have this problem, just that it is something to be aware of. I know people raised in extremely restricted environments (food, not toys, tho) who really had problems moderating their consumption once they were on their own.

 

 

Julie,

 

I really agree with this sentiment. We have let our kids have some freedom, yet when dd got her laptop a month before college she was totally glued to it. I was happy that she got it early enough before classes started to get the newness out of it. She was a young freshman, but adjusted pretty well to having her own money, accessible movies and malls while studying as well. Moderation and not too many no-no's at home is the key, I believe.

[Elaine]

On the note of your original post, Colleen, then you were sad about your ds's not having many pals. You have occasionally shared those sentiments here. Could it be that in your effort to relish the gold old times you are short-changing your kids by basically only introducing very specific avenues to them, thus possibly making them stand out amongst their peers?

 

 

Since we are not personal friends or know eachother in real life, then please don't get offended. I know you don't always appreciate opposing viewpoints, but so be it!!

 

:iagree:

[Storm Bay]

I have kids in different ages and genders. To me it boils down to techno-stuff not being a means to an end, but in many cases (and call this materialistic or not) it is a matter of my kids appearing cool in front of peers and pals and friends. Just that. Being cool.

 

And don't underestimate the coolness factor amongst teens (and to some degree pre-teens). There are definitely some "regular" kids out there who totally beat their own drum (walk their own beat? or whatever that saying is, LOL!). My kids are already weirdo's being homeschooled and being a minority-religion. To me I felt that being hip with a few techy-items wouldn't hurt, and it hasn't.

 

I think you have some good points here, which is why I have no problem with my 13 yo saving up to buy her own iPod. We don't have the finances to buy her one this year, and I think she's getting to the point where she needs to start branching out a bit on her own. I will set limits for her hearing.

 

And the coolness part can be a factor for dc who are different because of minority religion, personality, just being homeschooled. My second dd doesn't need ANY help in that category, but my eldest does, so I'm finally going to teach her to use the internet (she never asked before) because she was the only one on her team who couldn't use it (they had a break in their dryland practice). She has enough on her plate because she defnitely marches to the beat of a different drummer and few girls her age are willing to break from the pack to hang out with her. By pack, I mean cliques, and Queen Bees and Wannabes does a great job of elaborating on that.

 

Plus, I used to know Nadia when we lived in the same area, and her kids definitely live a balanced life. Her field trip schedule exhausted me just hearing about it;).

[PrairieAir]

I need some company.:) Aside from some friends of ours in Switzerland ~ who have four boys, oldest 14 yo ~ is there anyone else I "know" who has yet to give their children tech stuff? "Tech" for lack of a better word. I'm talking about things ranging from cell phones to iPods to game systems to Guitar Hero ~ and so on. I'm not even sure why I'm asking. I mean, I'm happy with how we do things. I'm not going to buy things just because other people buy them. I appreciate that even my 13.5 year old son is content with gifts like a Lego set, board game, book (Scarlet Pimpernel this year), ski socks, and a shirt. But...gosh and golly. Are we really completely alone in just enjoying the "simple" stuff and playing outside? I kinda think so, judging by how few guys are interested in coming over here and hanging out.:confused:

 

I haven't read most of this thread. I thought about responding when you first posted it, but then thought maybe my comments were not what you're looking for because my kids do have iPods and cell phones and computers. (The middle two have laptops from the school to use during the school year. Oldest just got a laptop of his own. Youngest got dh's almost 10-year-old laptop last year for Christmas.) They do MySpace and Facebook (youngest has Facebook and My Yearbook instead of MySpace). We do not have any kind of video game system.

 

So, while they do have some of the tech stuff, there is much of it, particularly with gaming, that they don't have. Yet, I'd say my kids are very into being outdoors and playing sports. They aren't glued to a screen or plugged in 24/7. They enjoy horseback riding, walking their dogs, playing basketball, running, lifting weights, wrestling, hiking--lots of good physical activity. The three oldest like to read. We're trying to encourage the youngest to learn to love reading. We've never been big Lego fans. The boys are very artistic, though, and youngest ds will draw or do other art for hours on end. The girls enjoy photography and use a digital camera (techy) but it gets them outdoors and doing something artistic which I'm very happy to see since they are not very artistically inclined other than with a camera. All the kids have done woodworking projects with dh and all helped in different aspects of building this house. When dh had more time, we enjoyed rock climbing together.

 

I just don't think it has to be either tech stuff or outdoors/simple pursuits. As in everything else, it's a balancing act. There are some of the kids' friends who I feel are a little too plugged in to their technology. That gets old for my kids. I just tell them to suggest new things to their friends. Often the friends enjoy those new things. They just needed someone to show them those things could be fun. The subject has come up once or twice of things that we don't have (particularly video games and four wheelers) that some friends do have. I tell the kids it just provides more variety in the things they can do with their friends. Maybe at their friends' houses it's video games and TV or four wheelers. At our house it's hiking through the woods and building forts, riding horses, and canoeing on the river.

[Karenciavo]

We have board/card games, balls, dolls/dollhouses, blocks, Legos, Playmobils, gears, Knex, a dress-up collection, jigsaw puzzles, and books... thousands of books.

 

I'm imagining a conversation between neighbors 150 years ago bemoaning how much time some children spend on parlor games and novels.

[Storm Bay]

I'm imagining a conversation between neighbors 150 years ago bemoaning how much time some children spend on parlor games and novels.

 

Yes, those did happen. Novels were definitely frowned upon. Come to think of it, some people still frown on novels ;). Seriously, though. And I have to monitor my dd's or they'll read so long they become very, very cranky. And I can get addicted to them if I'm not careful.

 

I read an e-newsletter by someone once who claimed that reading novels was barely better than watching TV, and that TV makes people lazy...So, I get your point!

[Karenciavo]

Yes, those did happen. Novels were definitely frowned upon. Come to think of it, some people still frown on novels ;). Seriously, though. And I have to monitor my dd's or they'll read so long they become very, very cranky. And I can get addicted to them if I'm not careful.

 

I read an e-newsletter by someone once who claimed that reading novels was barely better than watching TV, and that TV makes people lazy...So, I get your point!

 

I hope Eliana isn't offended that I clipped her post. My point is simply that so many things figure into choices we make, culture being one. I respect the choice Colleen and Eliana and Mindy and others make and I don't think you all think poorly of me for my choices. We strive for balance, I'm sure we fall short at times.

[mcconnellboys]

Yes, I think they're saying that we should consider all the other things we could/should be doing vs. wasting time, LOL. Here's one website I've found that seems to address some of the issues with over-usage of all types of media:

 

http://www.cmch.tv/mentors_parents/?gclid=CJec8uCN4pcCFRPBDAodmRapDg

 

This site seems to echo some of what I heard in the news piece, but I still haven't managed to actually find the piece again or any more about the study.

[Storm Bay]

I hope Eliana isn't offended that I clipped her post. My point is simply that so many things figure into choices we make, culture being one. I respect the choice Colleen and Eliana and Mindy and others make and I don't think you all think poorly of me for my choices. We strive for balance, I'm sure we fall short at times.

 

:iagree: And I think that the right balance varies with families.

[PariSarah]

We don't have any of that stuff here, except for some iPods that were either gifts from the grandparents or came "free" with computer purchases. (We did actually refuse the gift of a cell phone last Christmas, much to the givers' chagrin.;)) Some of the not-having-it is from active rejection (like the cell phone), some from benign disinterest, and some from budgetary concerns. We do have three very good computers, to which ds has limited access--he blogs, plays computer games on Sundays, and listens to music or books on CD.

 

Our relative techlessness hasn't seemed to impact ds's friendships any. His friends come here to play sports, and on the occasional rainy day or Sunday, we let him go inside their houses to play video games. It probably helps that dh and one of the other dads occasionally go out and plays sports with the kids; adult attention, especially from a male, is a rare and valued experience for some of them.

 

It sounds like you have fun stuff at your place for kids to play with. Maybe there's a convenience factor? Ds's friends are all on the same cul-de-sac. Despite his general gregariousness, only one of his friends from church or school ever make any effort to come over here or invite him to their place. Not out of unfriendliness or disinterest--just out of inertia. Convenience seems to trump all these days.

[ChristusG]

We're not "tech-less", just "tech in moderation." We have a TV, a Wii, a Leapster, and a computer thing that hooks to the TV (the VTech thing), but it is all in moderation. I do believe that too much of that type of thing can be harmful to children. But I like "gadgets" myself LOL, so I dont think I could tell my children that they cannot have "gadgets." So their time with their gadgets is limited.

 

I do commend others for their commitments to be tech-less. For me, that would be a big sacrifice so I'm always in awe of others who can do it.

[Colleen]

I haven't read most of this thread....I just don't think it has to be either tech stuff or outdoors/simple pursuits. As in everything else, it's a balancing act.

 

I don't blame you for not reading the entire thread ~ I've only done so because I started it and now feel compelled to follow up accordingly. A number of other people have talked about the fact that this needn't be an either/or matter. I agree, and I've never claimed otherwise in this conversation. As it so happens, though, we lean strongly in one direction and when I originally posted, I was simply looking for a connection with others who do the same.:)

[Colleen]

Ya know, Nadia, I'm going to address first what you tacked on at the end of your post. I'm referring to this comment:

 

I know you don't always appreciate opposing viewpoints, but so be it!!

 

WTF? Really. I do believe my original post was fairly clear. I expressed my interest in seeking out company from those who are walking a similar path. Yet I've read all, and responded to many, of the posts from people who have different preferences. I've said I'm not legalistic over this. I've emphasize repeatedly that I don't think it's an either/or issue. I think ~ I hope! ~ I've made it clear that I'm not judging people who are making different choices. (And I think the same is true of those who chimed in and said they share my preferences on this subject.) I listened to and appreciated and in some cases responded to opposing viewpoints DESPITE the fact that I didn't post this as a general question. I didn't ask, "What do you think of buying your kids tech gadgets?" On the contrary, I shared where I'm at and asked if there are others like me out there.

 

I'm just thinking...Imagine if I'd posted and said, "I'm Muslim, feeling kinda alone since I don't know many other Muslims, and looking for company." After which some people felt the need to post and tell me why they aren't Muslim, what they appreciate about their own faiths, yada yada yada. Then I'd respond, "Thanks for sharing all that! I see your point. I respect your choice. I'm just doing this other faith thing over here ~ and feeling rather in the minority, which is why I said I wanted company..." After which I'm told, "I think you're choice is wrong and here's why and hey, I know you may not want to hear that, but so be it!!"

 

Whatever.

 

I thought it was really "not nice" of you to allow your oldest to purchase his own Ipod except he wouldn't be allowed to basically use is (as pr. your post). That's hypocritical parenting, imo. I mean limits are fine, but you wrote that he wouldn't be allowd to use it in front of naybody, while working on his chores etc. So, why would he get one??? To keep it in his drawer and long for the day he can move out and get a life of his own?

 

You're welcome to your opinion, and I do understand where you're coming from. That is to say, I appreciate (I listen to, I consider) you're opposing viewpoint. Nonetheless, you're assessment is wrong. What would be hypocritical and "not nice" is if I bought him an iPod and then essentially disallowed him from using it. Instead, we've made it clear that an iPod will come with parameters, regardless of who pays for it. We're by no means out-and-out against iPods, but we want our guys to understand that even if they pay for something, even if it's their property, there may still be rules in place that won't be entirely pleasing to them.

 

Example: My son asked if he buys an iPod with his own money, can he listen to it while working (on our farm). The answer is no. We wouldn't allow ANY employee of ours to listen to an iPod while working, so that's just standard practice and he needs to be cognizant of it ahead of time. I'm not talking here about mamby-pamby chores like taking out the trash, Nadia. I'm talking about real labor; work for which he's paid a decent wage. When he's out there working, he's not just our boy; he's an employee. It would be hypocritical for us to hold him to one standard and other employees to another.

 

He also needs to know that we don't want him sitting plugged into an iPod in the midst of a group of people. (I'm talking here about particular contexts.) Just as we wouldn't want a child to bury his nose in a book and ignore the people around him, we don't want him essentially shutting out other people via an iPod. That's our preference and discussing that with our son before he buys an iPod is only courteous.

Edited December 28, 2008 by Colleen

[lighthouseacademy]

I don't have time to read this whole thread, but we are a fairly technology free home. I am a bit miffed at my inlaws for sending my husband and son remote control cars that are knock-offs of the CARS characters... but, since they are knock-offs, I am hoping they die a quick death and I can trash them. On the flip side, I did get my son a lego set that has a motor- the cherry picker/dump truck and an extra motor. I decided that the motor did not do the playing for him and squelch his imagination but added to the toy and would enhance his play because he tends towards an analytical and engineering type thought and play patterns. We don't do video games though. My kids also have small CD players so they can listen to things like Beethoven's wig and Jim Weiss on but I don't personally consider that to be a tech toy. We had a wonderful Christmas of knitting mushrooms and sewing kits, books, dolls, legos, and clothes (with the exception of the needed CD player for my daughter) in our home.

[Nestof3]

I'm just thinking...Imagine if I'd posted and said, "I'm Muslim, feeling kinda alone since I don't know many other Muslims, and looking for company." After which some people felt the need to post and tell me why they aren't Muslim, what they appreciate about their own faiths, yada yada yada. Then I'd respond, "Thanks for sharing all that! I see your point. I respect your choice. I'm just doing this other faith thing over here ~ and feeling rather in the minority, which is why I said I wanted company..." After which I'm told, "I think you're choice is wrong and here's why and hey, I know you may not want to hear that, but so be it!!"

 

 

Again, when I read your post, I felt a connection -- a like-mindedness -- in what I consider our lack of "tech" focus and a common bond in the fact that our boys and your boys delight in the non-tech things in life. But, then when I looked at it, we do have tech things, but they don't seem pervasive. Then I didn't know what would qualify one to join in the "isn't it nice to be attached to technology" conversation. Perhaps I didn't belong to it after all since we do own some things considered tech.

 

Which is why I propsed a little more thinking and explanation of our life, our choices. Of course we would never give our kids a cell phone to pay for text-messaging and for them to have their :own" phone when there's a perfectly fine one in the house, but like I said, when Aaron began driving, we felt it was critical for him to have one (esp. since he has a 1989 Ford truck. We have a portable DVD player which we only use once or twice a year when we go on a long trip -- all other times it's stored in our closet.

 

Nathan began listening to books on tape when he was about two years old because he wanted story after story, and I just couldn't read to him all day long, and he couldn't read. He reads like crazy now, but he also loves his MP3 player or bedside CD player b/c he can listen to a story and draw at the same time. When he listens to Thornton Burgess, he likes to take notes and draw taxonomy trees. When he listens to Frank Baum, he likes to draw the maps. He listens to books like people listen to music. He NEVER listens to music except at Christmas time. He has an insatiable desire for books, and often he will listen to a story a few times, memorize his favorite parts and act them out. But, he still reads, draws, swings, sword-fights, etc. just as much.

 

So, is that overly-techy? Perhaps I'm feeling a need for approval on this, who knows.

 

I felt a connection b/c we have shunned the game systems, have no cable, and even have cell-phone rules. If you're home, you use a land-line phone unless it's long distance. Our eldest has no internet in his room and never will. He does have a computer, but he did Apologia Chemistry, DIVE math, and other high school courses on his computer. He saved his money and bought it. Our eldest plays some computer games, but he actually threw away Civilization last year because he was convicted about playing too much/focusing too much. He was tempted to get up real early to play. So we are a very aware family, always looking to see how we can do it better, checking ourselves.

 

I think your post was a great one, I just never could figure out if I was like-minded enough on the issues to say "Yeah, count me in" or not.

[elizabeth]

 

http://www.edtechnot.com/nothealy.html Every argument possible about why computer usage in particular is not the boon to educational excellence or the great equalizer its proponents suggested. Furthermore there is a good body of evidence that suggests developmental delays and alterations in how the brain functions regarding analytical tasks as due to computer usage. Dr Jane Healy and Clifford Stoll(MIT grad) have both suggested that the manner in which our public policy regarding education and poverty as tied to being "wired" or not is haphpazard at best and actually doing harm at worst. I remain committed to the simple idea of time. There is not time to do everything one wishes to do. The problem for me with tech use is what is not being done due to the time commitment and often arguing that ensues regarding proper limits on tech use. If I see one more teenager text during a meal out or while I am tutoring it will be the end of them. Seriously ,what an appalling lack of basic civil manners. Texting while another person is sitting directly across from you trying to communicate with you is the rudest behaviour yet. Colleges that are "wired" likewise produce little difference in student performance but for many the computer in the classroom is but another diversion from the serious task of listening and responding to another person . We have had this discussion at our house and we do have computers as our law office and home are connected. Dd may use the computer for 30 min per day for email to friends and her chess games. That is all. BTW in her spare time, which is abundant due to no video games or the like, she plays piano, is starting guitar(the real deal with a BIG amplifier- we rock around here) , makes jewelry, does peyote bead weaving, cross stitch , crochet and crazy quilting. Additionally she is a great comic artist and serious Xmen afficianado. Her peers find her very interesting indeed...Is technology for young minds inherently bad? I do not know but I have found very little evidence that it bears good fruit compared to other uses of human time and creative energy. Would I let her take a class online? Maybe but what a detached, inhuman experience. Something is lost when you are not in the room looking at the reactions, glances, body language of other students and your Professor while simultaneously pondering your own responses to a query posed to the class. So much is lost and so little gained by the knee jerk worship of technology as a substitute for human communication . As a supplement it might be acceptable in limited circumstances but there is no comparison between playing Guitar Hero and picking up a guitar especially with a slide-The one experience is sterile ,mechanized and requires no musical ability. The other is sublime and can bring a group of loud,even drunk people into silence if you know how to play. I like having that ability and would not have gained it had I been texting , playing video games , talking on the computer all night etc there are only so many hours in a day I prefer my family use them in ways I consider wise and pleasant.

[Starr]

We are " tech lite" as well. I tell my children they will have cell phones when they need them. Computer time is 15 - 30 minutes but not every day. We don't have cable so no TV but do watch occasional movies. The kids watch some old TV programs at their aunt and uncle's. We do have some motorized legos. And we do love books read to us on cd's in the car because we travel across the mountains often. My dd has an mp3 player but I agree there is a time and place for it! It pleases me that our children can always find something to do. It's not a right or wrong conversation. But it is nice to know there are others who raise their kids similarly.

[Deece in MN]

Are we really completely alone in just enjoying the "simple" stuff and playing outside? I kinda think so, judging by how few guys are interested in coming over here and hanging out.:confused:

 

Colleen, I think maybe the issue is the way you stated this question. I will speak for myself because I don't know how others reacted as they read it, but it came across a bit judgmental when I first read it.

 

Now, I know you have stated that you are not judging peoples choices and you just wanted some company. I get that. I am saying why I posted in the first place when we don't fit the criteria of not having bought our dc tech gadgets.

 

I posted because your question reads with the assumption that by having tech gadgets kids are not out enjoying the "simple" stuff and playing outside. I responded to say that although we have some tech stuff my dc still enjoy many activities that you place value on. This is where the "it isn't an either/or situation" comes into the conversation. Kids can do both and many do.

 

I am not judging you or your choices (I made the same choice for many years, it has been just in the past few years that we have brought "tech gadgets" into our home). Just sharing my response/perspective as to why I responded to your post when you weren't necessarily looking for my opinion. :)

Edited December 28, 2008 by Deece in MN

[Natalieclare]

I need some company.:) Are we really completely alone in just enjoying the "simple" stuff and playing outside? I kinda think so, judging by how few guys are interested in coming over here and hanging out.:confused:

 

Maybe some of the reason this post has been a bit controversial is due to perspective dissonance. Many of us identify with you, after all, compared to many others we hardly have a thing. We know how little time is actually spent even though the tech item is in the house. We see how much our kids still enjoy the "simple" stuff.

 

When I first read your post, I thought, "Oh yes! I know just what she's talking about!" And then I had to stop and think about the fact that 2 of my kids own mp3 players (used for feedback on speech preparation), my husband owns an xbox, and one of my daughters has a blog. I realized that disqualified me from answering your post--I felt so ripped off ;)! Because even though those things are in our home, we are still extremely choosy in how we spend our time. My kids' motto is, "Don't grow up too fast." And they live that out with lots of good old fashioned play. And yes, not everybody is interested in that. I can really identify with your statement above even though we do own some techy stuff.

 

I can't believe we have as much tech stuff as we do, but the fact I didn't notice is due to the fact we've done a pretty good job at keeping human relations first and foremost around here. Except for mom and dad playing around on the computer! We're the worst culprits!

[chaik76]

We've chosen to avoid electronic toys and gadgets here. I'm always encouraged to see others, especially those with older kids who have chosen to do the same. It is nice to know you're not alone.

 

 

I'm curious, what future options could be limited by avoiding video games and other electronic devices at a young age?

A career in them?

Knowledge of the world? (This is something I missed out on...I didn't watch tv or have any tech games...my transition into the "real" world was extremely hard, and I don't want my kids to experience that.)

[chaik76]

 

 

 

 

Mmm, no, I don't entirely agree with your analogy.

 

 

 

I don't know how to quote the person you responded to. I was the child that didn't watch tv, we didn't have computer games or gaming systems, we didn't listen to popular music.

 

And I was "outside" when I grew up. It was very, very hard for me to integrate into the rest of the world because I was unaware of popular culture. I didn't have common things to talk to people about. I was well-read (I still am...I still love to read), but I had a very, very hard time, and I would never, ever wish that on my children.

 

There are lots of things about popular culture that aren't impressive to me, but there are plenty of things about it that are good, too, and I have no problems with my children being allowed to participate in those parts of American culture. It's one of the things that brings people together...the ability to talk about similar interests, similar goals, etc.

 

Now, my family is counter-cultural about many things, so there are certainly areas in which we appear odd to others...but I have no problems with my children also being part of the culture when the culture is appropriate.

[PariSarah]

Having teen or pre-teen boys and not having virtually any electronics that they can use is, well, very unusual in this present time. Right or wrong, kids that don't have these will be on the outside, so to speak.

 

. . . I've found that teaching my son people skills is a more effective way of smoothing his way with other preteens than making sure he starts the "keeping up with the Joneses" routine extra-early. Perhaps his experience will be rockier during the teen years, but right now, he is able to make and keep friends just fine. He is sometimes able to get them interested in things they wouldn't otherwise be interested in, and there are enough things they already share an interest in (sports, for example) that he hasn't had any problem relating.

 

As I mentioned in my response to Colleen, I don't forbid him to play video games at other kids' houses, so he's not completely alien to that world. But he's totally comfortable with the idea that we don't want it in our house.

 

My own experience as a teen with significant lifestyle differences from my peers was such that I don't particularly worry about it with my kids. There will be lifestyle differences--some big, some small, some under your control, some not. Learning to make friends always involves negotiating those differences with grace.

[Osmosis Mom]

You know, Colleen, I have been online for what, 10 years now? And *never* in my entire online experience OR in real-life, for that matter, has anyone said WTF to me. I am aghast. Nice example of you. It just re-emphasized my point that you are pretty hostile when others respond just a bit snippy to you.

 

Another point....Did you honestly think that comparing religion is the same as comparing parenting values?? That's superficial, but whatever.

 

I have been ont he WTM-board ever since it began and remember all the woes re. your last pregnancy. The only reason I ever paid attention to your posts originally was the fact that you ask for ,whatever, sympathy?, but also sometimes a different point of view, yet you get really offended when it is then offered. You don't want to hear other people's opinions. So do you post in order to get rid of the hostility you feel from your real-life frustrations and then you dump them on people who are virtual peers?? I am not going to get trashy with you and give you WTF back. Geez. I was trying to give a different point of view and let you also know that I have noticed you msotly don't really want that.

 

Have a lovely day. Hopefully you won't get rained on today.