Catching up on a lost year...

[Sneezyone]

I’ve been hit by a lot of things coming out of this pandemic and am a little overwhelmed.

My introverted self REALLY enjoyed being home, despite the weight gain. Being back out (at the insistence of extroverted residents) is proving hard for me. There is SOOOOOOO much to do and so much pent up energy to release.

We ended up getting the oldest a car last week and she has already accepted a job. She needs the outlet and we need the backup driver but that meant getting extra keys made, scheduling driver training around the SAT, getting a new EZPass transponder, updating our insurance to a new carrier, ferrying her to lifeguard training classes, teaching the child to drive stick, and on it goes. We’ve also gotten requests to visit multiple family members this summer. We’ve already done 2/6. The floodgates have opened and we/I just cannot handle it all.

How are you prioritizing these sorts of obligations/expectations?

[freesia]

Yes, the floodgates have opened here, too. I am overwhelmed, too. Things will ease up after dd’s graduation on Sunday. I have my older two working ( each two jobs) plus younger kids things starting up ( finally the NYLT course will happen) plus ever is so excited we can do end of the year things plus SAT  for Ds and driving five hours each way  to finally see my mom. We have two cars for four drivers. 

I am trying to pace myself. I am putting my head down and just getting through mainly. I’ve said no to a few things. But the oldest need to work and everyone really needs to see people. Ok, I’m rambling—you are not alone. Next week should ease up a lot. In two weeks school is done and I’m crashing. 

[Kassia]

I am having a tough time too.  I became more of a homebody than ever and am overwhelmed with how fast everything is opening.  

[Sneezyone]

15 minutes ago, freesia said:

Yes, the floodgates have opened here, too. I am overwhelmed, too. Things will ease up after dd’s graduation on Sunday. I have my older two working ( each two jobs) plus younger kids things starting up ( finally the NYLT course will happen) plus ever is so excited we can do end of the year things plus SAT  for Ds and driving five hours each way  to finally see my mom. We have two cars for four drivers. 

I am trying to pace myself. I am putting my head down and just getting through mainly. I’ve said no to a few things. But the oldest need to work and everyone really needs to see people. Ok, I’m rambling—you are not alone. Next week should ease up a lot. In two weeks school is done and I’m crashing. 

I actually cried this week, TWICE, and that is just.not.me. It’s nonstop go until July right now. We’re booked solid. I’m hoping to stave Grandpa off until August (he’s not yet vaccinated and we are EXTREMELY public-facing right now) so I can get a break. Thank you for sharing. I have felt like a jerk for being so pressed by it. Our anniversary (6/3) was pretty much ruined by the chaos. It’s nice to not feel crazy. In the midst of all of this, the person we hired to care for our dog while we visited SIL LOST our dog. Seriously. I’m advertising like crazy but there hasn’t been a single sighting. We’re dog-less. It’s a lot.

Edited June 5, 2021 by Sneezyone

[happi duck]

I am exhausted by the shift.

[freesia]

2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

I actually cried this week, TWICE, and that is just.not.me. It’s nonstop go until July right now. We’re booked solid. I’m hoping to stave Grandpa off until August (he’s not yet vaccinated and we are EXTREMELY public-facing right now) so I can get a break. Thank you for sharing. I have felt like a jerk for being so pressed by it. Our anniversary (6/3) was pretty much ruined by the chaos. It’s nice to not feel crazy.

I’ve nearly cried often this week. Dd is sensitive and I really don’t want her to feel like her grad is taking me down but it is. I have lost my temper several times this week. I should have cried instead. 

[Sneezyone]

10 minutes ago, freesia said:

I’ve nearly cried often this week. Dd is sensitive and I really don’t want her to feel like her grad is taking me down but it is. I have lost my temper several times this week. I should have cried instead. 

Well, best wishes. Tomorrow I’m not teaching (online) so my only obligations are taking DD to complete her behind the wheel test and mom’s manual transmission driving school. That’s, actually, a relief.

[kokotg]

I spent all year reminding myself to hold on to the good parts of pandemic life when it was over, but now that I'm staring down next year I just don't see any way to actually make it happen. I've got a college application year coming up for my music kid, plus another high schooler, and an 8 year old who plays baseball. We'll be traveling all summer in our RV, and that part's fine....busy but also a kind of weird, out-of-time reset button. And then a crazy fall. I will be a lot more selective about what we take on and not jump on everything that sounds appealing, but it's just going to be a very different year from this past one in so many good and not as good ways.

[Soror]

1 minute ago, Sneezyone said:

Well, best wishes. Tomorrow I’m not teaching (online) so my only obligations are taking DD to complete her behind the wheel test and mom’s manual transmission driving school. That’s, actually, a relief.

We went on vacation a week and came back  (after 12 hrs of driving) to a crazy week. Ds totaled his car  the day after we came back(teenage boy stupidness in a parking lot), add in half a dozen(literally) appointments, family get together, mowing my lawn and MIL's, finding, buying (in the city 2.5 hrs away), and licensing the new car. Getting the van aligned.

 I'm now doing Mom's manual transmission driving school too 🙂

I've taught every day since I missed days for vaca but am going to start taking off Sunday again after this week. I told Mom sitting in the DMV was the calm part of my week.

Next week is looking pretty calm and I'm thrilled. The following week starts swim lessons and tennis camp.

I've got to be planning our next school year I always start on July 1st but that is feeling too soon right now.

[Sneezyone]

10 minutes ago, Soror said:

We went on vacation a week and came back  (after 12 hrs of driving) to a crazy week. Ds totaled his car  the day after we came back(teenage boy stupidness in a parking lot), add in half a dozen(literally) appointments, family get together, mowing my lawn and MIL's, finding, buying (in the city 2.5 hrs away), and licensing the new car. Getting the van aligned.

 I'm now doing Mom's manual transmission driving school too 🙂

I've taught every day since I missed days for vaca but am going to start taking off Sunday again after this week. I told Mom sitting in the DMV was the calm part of my week.

Next week is looking pretty calm and I'm thrilled. The following week starts swim lessons and tennis camp.

I've got to be planning our next school year I always start on July 1st but that is feeling too soon right now.

lol. We don’t get paid enough for this gig. It’s why DD now has a car. I’m going back to work as soon as DH secures orders to our current location. It’s a) easier for me, b) more lucrative and c) the recipients of my labors/opinions are more grateful and less argumentative!

Edited June 5, 2021 by Sneezyone

[freesia]

7 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Well, best wishes. Tomorrow I’m not teaching (online) so my only obligations are taking DD to complete her behind the wheel test and mom’s manual transmission driving school. That’s, actually, a relief.

Oof you just reminded me that Ds has his written learners test next week!

Next year I’ll only have two kids so things will be easier—I hope. Part of the trouble is things like trying out a soccer team that will fit well next year but not this year while dd is finishing up her theater group. And last years camps were postponed and this year’s camps are happening, too. And it’s really hard to say no to the kids after having to say no for so long. My oldest dd in particular lost out on a couple of amazing travel opportunities she had planned for last year. She did great but I want to say yes to everything now. 

[Sneezyone]

1 minute ago, freesia said:

Oof you just reminded me that Ds has his written learners test next week!

Next year I’ll only have two kids so things will be easier—I hope. Part of the trouble is things like trying out a soccer team that will fit well next year but not this year while dd is finishing up her theater group. And last years camps were postponed and this year’s camps are happening, too. And it’s really hard to say no to the kids after having to say no for so long. My oldest dd in particular lost out on a couple of amazing travel opportunities she had planned for last year. She did great but I want to say yes to everything now. 

TOTALLY relate. Pre-COVID, DS was so looking forward to track. Then...shutdown. I want to say yes too. Still, I have my limits. DH and decided that DD is old enough to do things with DS independent of us, like pick him up after club meetings and events, so that should free me to do more adult things. It’s just a hard transition in such a short period of time. Long-term, we think it will be worth it.

[Indigo Blue]

35 minutes ago, happi duck said:

I am exhausted by the shift.

Same here.

[freesia]

5 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

TOTALLY relate. Pre-COVID, DS was so looking forward to track. Then...shutdown. I want to say yes too. Still, I have my limits. DH and decided that DD is old enough to do things with DS independent of us, like pick him up after club meetings and events, so that should free me to do more adult things. It’s just a hard transition in such a short period of time. Long-term, we think it will be worth it.

Yes!  Having the older ones pick up is key to life working right now. Oldest dd has been such a help. That’s why I must get younger Ds driving. He won’t be eligible until December— I want to work hard at him getting his hours before that. 

[prairiewindmomma]

We are triaging. Urgent needs come first. One easy local social thing a week. 
The car thing probably would have happened at our house too (Dh is actually refusing to look right now because work stuff is so pressing but we need to replace a vehicle also) but I would have wiped the rest of our schedule clean.

I have friends right now that are letting their kids do 3 activities each and that would kill me. We are very slowly getting stuff done because we have realized we just do better with less.

[Sneezyone]

6 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

@SneezyoneI would never have pegged you as an introvert!

I am a REALLY good faker but a hardcore INTJ. 🤣

Edited June 5, 2021 by Sneezyone

[Faith-manor]

I REALLY enjoyed the slower pace. Dh and I decided that when it came to the floodgates of folks who wanted to socialize, we would ration this. First, if they are folks who aren't vaccinated, we aren't meeting. Dh's mom got her vaxes, but there is reason to believe she is immune compromised enough that she may not have much immunity. So we need to be careful about a possible break through infection and taking that to her. Therefore, when nephew and his wife and their two kids, and my brother and his wife, and our other niece all wanted to have a family party and not a one of them were vaccinated and very open about it, we said check no. Phew. One social event averted.

Then we looked at it from the standpoint of just how much of a social life beyond our mothers and our kids do we want? As it turns out, limited. Dh and I are going to spend a lot of time "van life" from 2022-2026 seeing the country, and enjoying mother nature.  That meant picking the relationships that we wanted to keep heavily invested in, and letting others fall naturally into the acquaintance/colleague/shirt tail relatives we rarely see categories. So for example, we have folks two miles from here that we used to be very good friends with. They were super irresponsible during the pandemic, and very obnoxious about their political leanings though we tried not to communicate in email or phone call about political issues. This relationship is on the let die side. Socializing with colleagues? Nope. Dh had gone as high in his career as he is going to go before retirement. So taking a pass on that. Two nieces, two nephews, my brother and his wife, hard pass. Email and text exists, a funny virtual card at Christmas and on birthdays works. Maybe we will see each other at weddings and funerals in the future, but certainly not during this next year as the pandemic is struggling to wind down.

But my other nephew and his wife? Awesome people. We are REALLY close with them and grieved that we all live so far from each other. They are vaxed, we are vaxed, and so we decided now was the time to make a big effort. We are meeting in W.V. in three weeks to camp together at Cooper's Rock State Forest, and then also go down and see New River Gorge National Park. We are champing at the day of travel to arrive.

We also have very, very dear friends who are like family and have been second parents to our kids. They invited us down the other evening for a just us and them back yard barbecue. We are all vaxed so when we got too hot and wanted to recline indoors, it was no big deal. So much fun, and a breath of fresh air after the long year of being cooped up.

As for appointments, I told the mothers that they have to limit it to no more than one appointment a week that they need me at or need transportation to, and if they can't manage that, they have to pay one of their grandsons to do it while they are on break from school. My mom usually manages just fine without me. Mother in law not so much. So the week she had an eye appointment and an ultrasound. She had a friend from her church who is vaxed, drive her to the appointment (she tried to pay her for gas and time spent sitting which friend refused which was very sweet), and then I took her to the ultrasound. That won't work for everyone. But it is our for now plan so I don't end up completely overwhelmed as things open up.

Rationing. We are just trying to ration our time. I don't know how long that will work. Mother in law's health is slipping.

[prairiewindmomma]

Fwiw, our things this week were getting clothes/shoes for everyone for summer, getting the oven fixed, and school.

Next week I am making appointments for our appointment backlog. The teens should be fully vaxxed by the time they happen.

Edited June 5, 2021 by prairiewindmomma

[rebcoola]

The flood gates aren't open but it's coming.  I've been hiding behind DH's crazy outage schedule, the big kids not being vaxxed, and having a 2 yr old.  The big kids got their 2nd shot yesterday.  We leave for a month long trip Friday which is mostly hanging out with my best friend.  When we get back though it will be time to return to church, small group, kids sports, etc. 

I have loosened things up here but it's been like I drop the kids off at the outdoor mall not things that take work.

[kbutton]

7 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

How are you prioritizing these sorts of obligations/expectations?

Not well, and I am not as busy as you are. Fellow INTJ here. I am having a really hard time resuming life partly because it's going to be very different. We likely lost a lot of relationships, and I can't really stomach going back to the same church. This might be my younger one's last year of homeschooling, but it's not certain. I tend to live looking forward, and the slate is far too blank for my comfort. 

[TravelingChris]

6 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

I am a REALLY good faker but a hardcore INTJ. 🤣

Hey, so am I

[Ali in OR]

I think most of this board is INTJ!

[freesia]

19 minutes ago, Ali in OR said:

I think most of this board is INTJ!

I'm not, but I'm married to one. Can I stay?

[Kassia]

41 minutes ago, freesia said:

I'm not, but I'm married to one. Can I stay?

Same!  I'm not, but DH and most of my kids are. 

[fraidycat]

52 minutes ago, freesia said:

I'm not, but I'm married to one. Can I stay?

I'm a full on extrovert, with an introvert hubby.
 

BUT, I hate having a packed schedule full of must-dos, and really enjoyed that part of the shut-down when the calendar got wiped clean. I enjoy socialising and connecting, not chauffeuring. 😂

[freesia]

1 minute ago, fraidycat said:

I'm a full on extrovert, with an introvert hubby.
 

BUT, I hate having a packed schedule full of must-dos, and really enjoyed that part of the shut-down when the calendar got wiped clean. I enjoy socialising and connecting, not chauffeuring. 😂

Exactly!

[rebcoola]

10 minutes ago, fraidycat said:

I'm a full on extrovert, with an introvert hubby.
 

BUT, I hate having a packed schedule full of must-dos, and really enjoyed that part of the shut-down when the calendar got wiped clean. I enjoy socialising and connecting, not chauffeuring. 😂

Yes  I loved not chauffeuring.   My oldest gets her permit in the fall I can't wait for her to drive.  

[happi duck]

I always come up ambivert...right in the middle.  I also sometimes have tested as INFJ but usually ENFJ.  Tossing anxiety into the mix has made life during a pandemic really "interesting". 😜

[SKL]

I don't have any special plans, really.  My kids are going back to summer camp, so yay for that, but I'm spending most of the summer at home, which is normal for me regardless of pandemics.

The next family thing we have planned is Father's Day.  It will be our first chance to go see the folks while fully vaccinated.  My sister mentioned wanting to get together with her kids sometime soon.  That's about it for my summer socializing.  🙂

My kids should be mostly back to summer sports, but I don't know any of the parents any more, so I probably won't do much socializing.  I don't attend all of their sports contests like I used to, because so many of them are during business hours, and they have busing to away games.  Even when I do attend, I spend a lot of time going for walks by myself.  🙂

Edited June 6, 2021 by SKL

[SKL]

Oh but the driving will be interesting.  My kids' June summer camps will be kinda far away, and I can't hire a senior citizen to drive them like I did pre-Covid.  June is a heavy work month, so that is likely to stress me out.  Oh well.

Add me to the list of people really eager for my kids to get their drivers' licenses (though that won't happen until Fall 2022 at least!).

[regentrude]

I would love to get back to more socializing. However, the pandemic has also shown me how very low on their priority list the friendship with me ranks for many people I considered friends. I  have written about that here before: I am exhausted and disappointed that all efforts to keep connection, reach out, check in, initiate were left to me. So I am not sure it's worth investing in what to the other person seems to be an expendable relationship. People have made it clear that I don't matter to them, so maybe it's time to stop trying so hard.

[Sneezyone]

6 minutes ago, SKL said:

Oh but the driving will be interesting.  My kids' June summer camps will be kinda far away, and I can't hire a senior citizen to drive them like I did pre-Covid.  June is a heavy work month, so that is likely to stress me out.  Oh well.

Add me to the list of people really eager for my kids to get their drivers' licenses (though that won't happen until Fall 2022 at least!).

DD had a conflict with the SAT yesterday so she took her drivers test today and, blessedly, passed with flying colors. She’s now taking her dad for a spin. I’m hoping I can get her road safe in a week or so. I ordered NEW DRIVER PLEASE BE PATIENT magnets for her car. She has permission to remove them when she’s comfy. She did great with her first full day of driving stick tho. So far, so good. Her job is supposed to start the first week of July, last week of June so that’s our target time frame.

[Sneezyone]

26 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I would love to get back to more socializing. However, the pandemic has also shown me how very low on their priority list the friendship with me ranks for many people I considered friends. I  have written about that here before: I am exhausted and disappointed that all efforts to keep connection, reach out, check in, initiate were left to me. So I am not sure it's worth investing in what to the other person seems to be an expendable relationship. People have made it clear that I don't matter to them, so maybe it's time to stop trying so hard.

If it makes you feel any better, I am a HORRIBLE IRL communicator with my in person friends. In the last month, I’ve visited both my bestie and my SIL who is also a wonderful friend. I rarely talk to these ladies on the phone unless I’m in crisis (so, explains recent visits) but we always pick back up where we left off and they’re always welcome to visit me too. Maybe your friends are similar?

[mom2scouts]

On 6/5/2021 at 11:30 AM, Ordinary Shoes said:

I know how you feel. Everything is cranking up and it's like we're supposed to be "back to normal" overnight. 

It doesn't work that way. 

Although I'm finding that I'm itching to get out there too even though I'm an introvert. I'm annoyed at the few things that are still on Zoom. 

Yes! I'm generally an introvert, but I keep going between being thrilled about doing stuff and seeing people and being overwhelmed by how much I'm suddenly expected to do. There wasn't any transition time. In April I was still sitting at home every day and then May came and it was graduation parties, church activities, dance recital, doctor visits, dinner with clients, birthday parties, and more.