Meme...thoughts (COVID related - sorry!!)

[BakersDozen]

This came across my FB tonight and I spent quite a long time trying to respond, deleting my response, and trying again. I think I've figured out what is bothering me but would like to hear from the Hive first to see if I'm off base (which is more the norm for me than being on base).

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, it makes some big assumptions.  Being careful of a deadly virus doesn't mean being frozen in fear :  it means taking appropriate precautions.  Not to mention that I still lived my life even if I wasn't meeting in large groups, eating in restaurants (depending on restriction levels etc.) or doing other risky behavior. 

[Shoeless]

It's a snotty, condescending message, for starters.  So not wanting to die of a horrible, contagious disease makes me some kind of weenie, but everyone else enlightened? Nah. 

There's also the fact that I don't define "living!" as narrowly as I suspect the meme writer does.  Much of what these folks call "living" is really flippin' ableist and classist, (travel, dining in restaurants, theaters, etc).  There's a lot of people that can't do those things regularly, if at all, regardless of the pandemic.  Does that mean those people aren't "living"? 

[BakersDozen]

OK, whew. I wasn't off base. The end of my very, very lengthy response was that rather being afraid of living perhaps people actually love living and are willing to adjust how they live in order to continue living (or to help others continue to live). If that's the case then how can that time be considered a waste??

I am so taken back by this meme and by the responses on FB. I am appalled.

[Ausmumof3]

I must admit I would have been tempted to write something snarky about how anyone reading it wasn’t one of the 1/2 million people who died in the US but ultimately I would just ignore it.  I’ve given up on people that still can’t see reality for what it is.

[Carrie12345]

I’ve spent a year trying really hard to prevent the deaths of others so that I can live with myself. No regrets. No one’s little meme is going to leave me ashamed of myself, lol. And I have every intent to soak up all the things I love the most as soon as I can. Though, to be honest, what I’ve always loved MOST-most is being home with my family. ❤️

[regentrude]

I would not dignify this meme with any response. Folks who believe this cannot be reasoned with. But I would unfollow this person so that I didn't have to see such aggravating crap.

[Katy]

I’d unfollow or unfriend this person. They are too selfish to trust.

[Garga]

Those are the sorts of memes that make my blood boil. 

Put the person on snooze for 30 days so you don’t see more of their nonsense. Consider unfriending once and for all. 

Don’t get drawn in. I’ve gotten drawn in a few times over the past year and it never ends well. You’ll get a few snarky responses back, one or two people will like your reply, and at least one person will be a snot and put a laughing emoji on your post. 

 

All I know is that this behavior isn’t new. People who are selfish during this pandemic are the same people who forced the Irish to sell their potatoes and starve during the famine. People who are selfish during this pandemic are the same people who have supported every despot since the dawn of despots. People who are selfish during this pandemic are like that guy on It’s A Wonderful Life who insisted on clearing out his bank account during the run on the bank when George asked him to only take what he absolutely needed. 

They’ve been here since the dawn of time and they aren’t going anywhere. It’s just disappointing when you realize these people are (used to be?) your friends and family.

Vent here. We get it. A year into this, if they don’t get it by now, they never, ever will. 

[Pawz4me]

It's certainly an infuriating and insulting (not to mention ignorant) meme, but I agree with the others that it's best to ignore and unfollow or even unfriend. You're not going to change the type of selfish ignorance that apparently doesn't think twice before posting such drivel. And even if it were possible to change them FB isn't the venue where it will happen.

[marbel]

I've found that trying to respond to posts like that just gives the poster of the meme the chance to argue. Some people have the need to be right. As others have said, I would snooze the person and see what sorts of things they are posting when they pop up again. In my experience some perfectly reasonable people occasionally post stupid things, to the point where I wonder if they even read the thing they posted or just passed it on. (Sort of like my in-laws and their forwarded emails.) I don't bother wasting my time trying to respond. 

[historically accurate]

I saw this meme yesterday or the day before. Poster is now snoozed. I chose not to respond, partly because from seeing the other posts on her feed I know that my opinion will not sway her and also, because if she doesn't see the other side of this after a year and over 1/2 a million deaths, she's not going to.

For me, what bothers me about the meme is I'm not afraid of dying from Covid. Although I am obese, it'd be very rare to die from it at my age. However, if I can not spread the disease to someone who can't fend it off, I'm going to try to do that. I feel I have an obligation as a fairly healthy member of society to "do my part". And although I have switched to grocery delivery, and I only see the inside of a store about 1-2x per month, I am "living my life". While I'd love to get together with some people, that can happen soon. A year in the grand scheme of my hopefully 70-80+ years is small. I try to put it into perspective with remembering how I thought my kids would never sleep through the night or be potty trained or I'd never make it to graduation. All those things happened with time; Covid is just another blip on the radar. The Great Depression lasted 10ish years; Wars were multi-year affairs. All things considered, we really are making remarkable progress on Covid. 

What really hurts, though, is this is someone I consider a friend. Does she really think I'm cowering in my house in fear and have been for a year? Well, obviously she does. If you asked her 1 1/2 years ago about me, she would've said good things. Now she apparently thinks  I'm deluded, and I have no critical thinking skills. But whatever, I'll keep doing my part to keep hospitalizations down, to protect my family, and to protect vulnerable members of society. She'll keep posting about face diapers, vaccination microchips, and sheeple. 

I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to seeing her out and about and acting like I never got a view into her mind. She's probably thinking the exact same thing about me. 

I'm sorry you have people in your life who feel that way. 

[Bambam]

I've seen several post thoughts like this. 

Taking precautions is NOT living in fear. Does the OP (of meme, not WTM OP) not wear a seat belt when driving? Does the OP never go to the ER when they have chest pains? Does the OP never apply pressure to a wound that is bleeding? Does the OP never go to the doctor? Does the OP never take any meds? 

I haven't been 'living in fear'. I have been taking precautions. Reasonable precautions for our risk budget. Others have smaller or larger risk budgets and they make different choices.  Why do you (generic) care about my risk budget? When you start getting in my business and condemning/ridiculing me because of what I chose to do, I think it is because you secretly aren't sure about your choices, so like the person who feels inferior, you chose to attack. 

[Pawz4me]

One thing I find just a wee bit amusing in a kind of ironic funny/not funny kind of way is that it must not have occurred to people who post memes like that that a significant percentage of the population are introverts, and that for some of us this past year has been one of the most enjoyable ever, as we had a fabulous excuse to avoid the types of social situations we've never liked.

[Tenaj]

This meme floated across my fb feed a few days ago.  I rolled my eyes, bit my tongue and continued on with my life.  I'm trying to ignore some of this stuff as I know I won't change their mind and since it seems like things might go back to somewhat normal soon and I'll actually have to see these people in person again I need to start letting it go.  There are some relationships that are going to continue to be extremely awkward and some will cease to exist but there are some people that I will have to deal with since there are kid relationships involved or school activities or even church activities.

My fil has only had his first vaccination but is done isolating.  My mil made the comment that he was "done" and back to his normal routine which involves socializing daily on a college campus.  She continued that he "isn't afraid".  I couldn't let it go and responded that I wasn't afraid, just taking the recommended cautions and I was sick and tired of being judged for following governmental and medical advice for the past year.  She backed off right away, probably taken aback by my response.  It wasn't my best moment and I realized how emotional I still am about all of this past year.  It would be a shame if he caught covid at this point but if he can't wait 3 more stinking weeks than there's nothing more I can do about it.

[SKL]

1 hour ago, JanOH said:

My fil has only had his first vaccination but is done isolating.  My mil made the comment that he was "done" and back to his normal routine which involves socializing daily on a college campus.  She continued that he "isn't afraid".  I couldn't let it go and responded that I wasn't afraid, just taking the recommended cautions and I was sick and tired of being judged for following governmental and medical advice for the past year.  She backed off right away, probably taken aback by my response.  It wasn't my best moment and I realized how emotional I still am about all of this past year.  It would be a shame if he caught covid at this point but if he can't wait 3 more stinking weeks than there's nothing more I can do about it.

I would just say that the words "he isn't afraid" or "I'm not afraid" do not equal "you are afraid."

[SKL]

I'm not in either extreme camp on masks / virus.  I try to figure out who, if anyone, is being factual, and I try to choose reasonably sensible actions.  There is plenty of immaturity to go around, and it's not all concentrated in one camp.

As mentioned by a pp, I don't dignify most such memes with any response.  If it's someone I otherwise like or tolerate, I scroll on by.  Occasionally I snooze a person, rarely unfollow, and very rarely unfriend if they are a repeated source of negativity in my life.

My thoughts on this meme - there are some people who actually did go way overboard in reaction to the virus (group 1).  Most people are just trying to figure out what makes sense for their risk profile (group 2).  And some people are listening to scary info sources (group 3).  [I also believe there is still a lot that the general public does not know about the virus.]  I assume the meme is people from group 3 dissing group 2.  But do I care what group 3 thinks?  I mean they think all sorts of things that we all know are crazy.  They are free to think and say such things.  The rest of us need not pay attention.

Edited March 15, 2021 by SKL

[Happy2BaMom]

False dichotomy and straw man.

You could just post that. But, like many others here, I don't know if it's worthwhile.

I have unfollowed EVERYONE (like, literally - every individual I know & nearly every group - & that's unfollow, not snooze) on FB. It's not always them - in fact, a # of my friends have similar views to me, but when I follow them, I see the comments on what they post, and there is ALWAYS somebody who posts snarky shit like the stuff above. I have become convinced that FB has devolved into nothing more (again, literally.....) than a platform for passive aggressive people to silently strike out at the people they think deserve it. 

(side note: I will occasionally go 'visit' my friend's pages, but even that's rare. Mostly I just email or call them now. And the only reason I keep my FB account is because a few small businesses I frequent only have FB pages.)

Edited March 15, 2021 by Happy2BaMom

[Happy2BaMom]

You could also try flipping the meme around....."It's been a year since most of you became mortally offended about putting a paper mask on in public, but in reality you gave up caring whether other people got sick or died." 

Of course, that would most likely truly end the friendship, so perhaps not. But you would have that one moment of fun!

[Spryte]

4 minutes ago, Happy2BaMom said:

You could also try flipping the meme around....."It's been a year since most of you became mortally offended about putting a paper mask on in public, but in reality you gave up caring whether other people got sick or died." 

Of course, that would most likely truly end the friendship, so perhaps not. But you would have that one moment of fun!

So tempting!

[BakersDozen]

5 hours ago, Garga said:

Put the person on snooze for 30 days so you don’t see more of their nonsense.

I've had her and several others on snooze throughout the COVID and election time. She just came off snooze yesterday and the meme is the first thing I saw. I could unfollow her but don't know that I can unfriend her as I have her dc in my class.

[Happy2BaMom]

5 minutes ago, Spryte said:

So tempting!

It is.....but that's my thing about FB (& any other SM) these days....there's no way to NOT end up covered / steeped in negativity and anger. Even if you don't respond to a post, you still see it & still react to it. And if you do respond - whether nicely or not - you have to then deal with all the shit that gets thrown your way for your 'counterpoint'.

It's one thing that seriously makes me think about leaving this country (if I could only convince dh). I have friends in other countries & there *are* people all over the world who do stuff like post these types of memes. But there are a lot less of them. My friend in Costa Rica says the whole Covid thing is pretty much a non-issue down there (meaning people mask up, generally distance, and no one thinks twice about it). Even when businesses protested some of the restrictions (which *is* understandable, if you're looking at having your livelihood disappear), the leader of the protest called for mask wearing, face shields, and staying in one's vehicle (it was a car caravan) during the protest. It really is a huge American "thing" to throw nasty hissy fits about this pandemic.

[BakersDozen]

5 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

I agree with the others that it's best to ignore and unfollow or even unfriend. You're not going to change the type of selfish ignorance that apparently doesn't think twice before posting such drivel.

I tried to walk away but after stewing over it for way too long last night I posted a response. I had to. There were a few who agreed with what I posted; the original poster has not responded. It felt good to respond because this gal lives in an echo chamber and on more than a few occasions I've sent some "shouts" into it to try and shake things up. I had to respond for my own sake, I guess, not in hopes of changing her mind/view. At least the others who feel as I do saw they are not alone. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't unfriended me...although this may be her reason for doing so now.

[Spryte]

3 minutes ago, BakersDozen said:

I've had her and several others on snooze throughout the COVID and election time. She just came off snooze yesterday and the meme is the first thing I saw. I could unfollow her but don't know that I can unfriend her as I have her dc in my class.

Ooops!  Un-snoozed too soon!

[marbel]

3 hours ago, historically accurate said:

<snip>

What really hurts, though, is this is someone I consider a friend. Does she really think I'm cowering in my house in fear and have been for a year? Well, obviously she does. If you asked her 1 1/2 years ago about me, she would've said good things. Now she apparently thinks  I'm deluded, and I have no critical thinking skills. But whatever, I'll keep doing my part to keep hospitalizations down, to protect my family, and to protect vulnerable members of society. She'll keep posting about face diapers, vaccination microchips, and sheeple. 

I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to seeing her out and about and acting like I never got a view into her mind. She's probably thinking the exact same thing about me. 

I'm sorry you have people in your life who feel that way. 

This may not really be true (of course I don't know, not knowing your friend). I think a lot of people post stuff like that without thinking of individual people in their lives, if that makes sense.  It could be that if you asked her, straight up: "is this what you think of me?" she might well be surprised that you are taking it personally.  Some people are literally thoughtless and just pick up on memes that reflect their general thinking. 

Edited March 15, 2021 by marbel

[Spryte]

1 minute ago, Happy2BaMom said:

It is.....but that's my thing about FB (& any other SM) these days....there's no way to NOT end up covered / steeped in negativity and anger. Even if you don't respond to a post, you still see it & still react to it. And if you do respond - whether nicely or not - you have to then deal with all the shit that gets thrown your way for your 'counterpoint'.

It's one thing that seriously makes me think about leaving this country (if I could only convince dh). I have friends in other countries & there *are* people all over the world who do stuff like post these types of memes. But there are a lot less of them. My friend in Costa Rica says the whole Covid thing is pretty much a non-issue down there (meaning people mask up, generally distance, and no one thinks twice about it). Even when businesses protested some of the restrictions (which *is* understandable, if you're looking at having your livelihood disappear), the leader of the protest called for mask wearing, face shields, and staying in one's vehicle (it was a car caravan) during the protest. It really is a huge American "thing" to throw nasty hissy fits about this pandemic.

Yep, agreeing with all of this. 
 

My only SM is here, no FB or anything else.  I’m so glad for having made that choice!

[BakersDozen]

24 minutes ago, Happy2BaMom said:

You could also try flipping the meme around....."It's been a year since most of you became mortally offended about putting a paper mask on in public, but in reality you gave up caring whether other people got sick or died." 

Of course, that would most likely truly end the friendship, so perhaps not. But you would have that one moment of fun!

I was turning the meme's argument around last night and was sore tempted to present it to this gal. Either what you posted or something along the lines of loving dying so much that they forgot to love living.

The faulty logic might be lost on her, though.

[J-rap]

5 minutes ago, Happy2BaMom said:

It is.....but that's my thing about FB (& any other SM) these days....there's no way to NOT end up covered / steeped in negativity and anger. Even if you don't respond to a post, you still see it & still react to it. And if you do respond - whether nicely or not - you have to then deal with all the shit that gets thrown your way for your 'counterpoint'.

It's one thing that seriously makes me think about leaving this country (if I could only convince dh). I have friends in other countries & there *are* people all over the world who do stuff like post these types of memes. But there are a lot less of them. My friend in Costa Rica says the whole Covid thing is pretty much a non-issue down there (meaning people mask up, generally distance, and no one thinks twice about it). Even when businesses protested some of the restrictions (which *is* understandable, if you're looking at having your livelihood disappear), the leader of the protest called for mask wearing, face shields, and staying in one's vehicle (it was a car caravan) during the protest. It really is a huge American "thing" to throw nasty hissy fits about this pandemic.

I agree...  We have relatives in Costa Rica who say the same thing, and relatives in other parts of the world too.  It hasn't become political, so they just do it.  (Even conservative churches!)

[J-rap]

The meme bugs me because I've never felt afraid this year, nor have I known anyone else who is.  We've simply recognized the problem, arranged our lives as a result, and then turned our energies different directions.  

On the other hand, I'd assume that they posted it because they themselves were afraid, and I wouldn't want to put them down by making them feel that they shouldn't have been afraid simply because I wasn't.

I'd just let it go.

[alisoncooks]

I always forget I have people on snooze, until my feed is flooded with weirdness.  Back into the timeout corner, grandpa!

[Happy2BaMom]

29 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Yep, agreeing with all of this. 
 

My only SM is here, no FB or anything else.  I’m so glad for having made that choice!

Me, too. People disagree here but it’s usually fairly civil. 

[Tenaj]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

I would just say that the words "he isn't afraid" or "I'm not afraid" do not equal "you are afraid."

You're right, of course, but in this situation and after I have spent the better part of a year trying to keep them safe through my time and energy, the meaning was pretty clear and it was annoying and I've had enough.  

[marbel]

1 hour ago, Indigo Blue said:

I ran into someone I knew last summer at an outdoor garden center. I walked closer to say hello but kept my distance. She said, “Ohhhh, are you afraid?” I was being respectful of her (and myself). I didn’t know how she felt and didn’t want to make assumptions. I thought I was being responsible and reasonable. I guess she thought I was operating out of “fear”.

Dealing with reactions from other people is so hard. 

A couple week ago when I was walking up to Aldi to get a cart, I encountered a  young mom struggling to put the cart away to retrieve her quarter while juggling a baby and a bag or two of groceries. I walked up and held out my hand with my quarter, and said I'd take the cart, then realized she might not want to take the coin I was holding. I said something like "oh, are you OK taking the quarter from me?" I felt it was so awkward but I didn't want to assume anything. She just reached out, took and and said, "Oh yeah, I am so over it" thanked me and walked away. I was relieved she didn't say either "keep your nasty quarter away from me" or "what, do you think I'm afraid?" 

I wish people would just stop making assumptions about other people with regard to personal contact.  Even now, we are still figuring this stuff out. 

Edited March 15, 2021 by marbel

[SKL]

1 hour ago, JanOH said:

You're right, of course, but in this situation and after I have spent the better part of a year trying to keep them safe through my time and energy, the meaning was pretty clear and it was annoying and I've had enough.  

This could be my mom, and it would be because a sibling literally yelled at her, multiple times, for not being scared, even though she never goes out except to the doctor.  Your mom is probably getting stuff from people other than just you.  Another possibility is that she is a little bit scared but doesn't want to admit it to herself (especially) or anyone else.

Try not to take her response to all of it personally.  This will all blow over with time.

[J-rap]

This reminds me of how some people I know are responding to the vaccine.  They're saying:  Do not fear the vaccine, but be prayerful about it and make a decision that feels right for you.  🤔   Okay.   Well, first, I'm not fearing the vaccine.   And it's certainly not just about what feels right for ME! (Already had my first shot!)