Help me think this through

[DawnM]

I typed up a whole thing, but realized it was too detailed and cumbersome to read.

Here is the synopsis.   

We are looking at possibly changing FS's preschool next year.   I would normally not be in favor of changing preschool as he has had a lot of change, but this would be a preschool AT the school he will attend in Elem. so the change would just be now instead of K.

Pros:

• 7-2 instead of 9-1, allowing DH to get more work done and allowing FS to be more engaged in learning and activities, rather than screen time to be quiet for DH's calls/conferences.
• 1.5 miles away instead of 7 miles away. 
• I could drop off on my way to work, DH would just need to pick up at 2.   It is also entirely possible a neighbor is picking a child up and could drive him/pick up some too.
• Cost is very reasonable, $250 per month.

Cons

• New school to get used to
• If it doesn't work out, we may be stuck without another option as the school he is in now has a waitlist to get in.   We are already "in" for next year if we start in Aug.   So, it isn't a "just try it out and he can go back to his current location" that won't be an option.
• Long days for a 3 year old.

Just an FYI, we don't get the childcare subsidy for the foster child since we are out of state.   We do get a stipend for his care, but not the childcare, so we need to pay.   The place he is in now have given him a hefty discount, they aren't sure about next year.   But cost would be somewhat comparable.

Thoughts?   What should I be asking?

I have talked to the teacher some at the public school, and will be meeting with her personally in the near future.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I guess I would be asking how he's doing at the current school?  It sounds like most of the "pros" are convenience issues rather than anything actually more positive at the new school.  And you mention he's had a lot of change.  Would it be better to keep him where he is and let him deal with the change when he's 2-ish years older than he is now? Especially if he's doing well at the current school and you can't go back there if you make this change.  Just a thought. 

Edited February 2, 2021 by Forget-Me-Not

[DawnM]

2 minutes ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

I guess I would be asking how he's doing at the current school?  It sounds like most of the "pros" are convenience issues rather than anything actually more positive at the new school.  And you mention he's had a lot of change.  Would it be better to keep him where he is and let him deal with the change when he's 2-ish years older than he is now? Especially if he's doing well at the current school and you can't go back there if you make this change.  Just a thought. 

Yeah, I guess DH is realizing that he can't always get him to school and pick him up on time......so he is having to go in late some days, leave early some days, etc.....it is somewhat disruptive, but he is 3, so not sure he cares too much.   He just gets upset if DH picks him up early and he is playing.

Overall, it is still less commuting than when he drove to work every day, but I can't help at all, school starts after I go to work and ends before I get off.   

It might be better to keep him where he is, we kind of go back and forth.

 

[catz]

Will he have the summer off?  Or does he go through  the summer?  I was just thinking it might not be that huge of transition if he has to make a post summer change anyway.  Especially if he is a kid that is having fun and doesn't necessarily want to leave at pick up time.  With you both working, those are very limited hours and I can see why that may be rough.  

[almondbutterandjelly]

Since this is for the fall and not in the middle of a semester, I see no reason why not to go to the new school.  It's natural to sometimes change schools after summer.  Elementary to Middle to High.  PreK to K to Elementary.  The pros seem like really great pros.  I especially like that it will be more structured routine where Mom can always drop him off each day and he always gets picked up at the same time every day.  Plus less screen time.  Plus closer to home.  I am in favor.

[PeterPan]

I think if he's at all having behaviors or getting used to his new setting or dealing with things, then letting him start K5 in the fresh school without the preconceptions of the preschool (being known for those behaviors) could be good. I don't know if he is, just saying it's something we had with my ds, that sometimes a fresh start was good.

Also, I think the morning thing could be solved with hiring in home care for those few hours. It's pretty common in some areas to do this. That person can even take him to school.

I think personally I would not want a 3 yo gone from 7-2. That's really long. 

[DawnM]

2 minutes ago, FuzzyCatz said:

Will he have the summer off?  Or does he go through  the summer?  I was just thinking it might not be that huge of transition if he has to make a post summer change anyway.  Especially if he is a kid that is having fun and doesn't necessarily want to leave at pick up time.  With you both working, those are very limited hours and I can see why that may be rough.  

Yes, his current school is off in the summer.   When he goes back, it would be new teachers and kid could be separated differently, like they are in Elem. school year to year.

1 minute ago, perky said:

Since this is for the fall and not in the middle of a semester, I see no reason why not to go to the new school.  It's natural to sometimes change schools after summer.  Elementary to Middle to High.  PreK to K to Elementary.  The pros seem like really great pros.  I especially like that it will be more structured routine where Mom can always drop him off each day and he always gets picked up at the same time every day.  Plus less screen time.  Plus closer to home.  I am in favor.

Thanks.  Yeah, I was thinking it might be ok since he will be attending that school for K anyway.

[QueenCat]

15 minutes ago, DawnM said:

Yeah, I guess DH is realizing that he can't always get him to school and pick him up on time......so he is having to go in late some days, leave early some days, etc.....it is somewhat disruptive, but he is 3, so not sure he cares too much.   He just gets upset if DH picks him up early and he is playing.

Overall, it is still less commuting than when he drove to work every day, but I can't help at all, school starts after I go to work and ends before I get off.   

It might be better to keep him where he is, we kind of go back and forth.

 

It's also disruptive for the teacher/class when kids are picked up/come in late on a routine basis.

[DawnM]

1 minute ago, PeterPan said:

I think if he's at all having behaviors or getting used to his new setting or dealing with things, then letting him start K5 in the fresh school without the preconceptions of the preschool (being known for those behaviors) could be good. I don't know if he is, just saying it's something we had with my ds, that sometimes a fresh start was good.

Also, I think the morning thing could be solved with hiring in home care for those few hours. It's pretty common in some areas to do this. That person can even take him to school.

I think personally I would not want a 3 yo gone from 7-2. That's really long. 

Hire someone for a few hours a day to take him to school?   That doesn't sound cheap at all.   It sounds like more than his preschool tuition!  That really isn't an option.

I do wish they allowed preschoolers to ride the bus like K-5 kids do.  I could take him and he could ride the bus home.  But he can't.

He isn't having behavioral issues.

[vonfirmath]

We did this with my daughter and she LOVED being the kid in Kindergarten who already knew where the bathrooms, etc were.  The teachers would send her as "partner" with another kid who needed to go the bathroom to make sure they got back ok, etc.

 

OTOH for her, she also needed a stronger educational setup due to getting bored where she was and the hours there did not change. we both work -- she was in childcare all day anyway.

[catz]

I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting you all could use a more day care kind of schedule.  It would be a different thing if a parent and siblings were home waiting doing family things when he got done.  That structure might actually be better than plugging him into tech for a couple hours while you both finish up your work day.  That's a long day but our schools structure it for 3 year olds - there will be hands on, active play, quiet time, etc.   It sounds like he is having fun at his current preschool, which would make me way less concerned about the transition especially after getting a summer break.  

[Lecka]

I think either choice is a good choice as long as you like what you see when you visit.

My kids moved during pre-school and guess what -- they adjusted really well!  

I think the structure is so high it's a lot easier on kids.  

[vonfirmath]

Ask about naps/rest times. In my daughter's preschool at the school, they had a regular rest time in the middle of the day  (Sometimes the teacher played Classical music and sometimes she read a non-picture book. So those kids who could not sleep had something to listen to as they kept their eyes closed and didn't disturb those who were sleeping)

 

ETA: Also, something Ididn't have to worry about -- what is the rules about masking where the child goes now. what will the rules be at the new school (since it is unlikely the little ones will be vaccinated by next fall). Can you live with their policies? Can your kid?

 

Edited February 2, 2021 by vonfirmath

[TheReader]

Questions to ask: 

- what's the structure/schedule of the day (rest times? nap times? snack times? provided by parent, or school? potty training, if that is an issue? etc.)
- how many of their students come for the full 7 to 2 time frame (ie, is it understood all/most are there the whole time, or is it a "we're open from a to b and your kid can come for any part of it" thing)
- what do the activities look like? 
-do they have ideas/tips for helping you help him adjust to the longer day? (would he eat breakfast there? before he goes in? is that provided by them, or you, if its there? if they expect him to eat ahead, is that reasonable/feasible for y'all, to get him up, dressed, breakfasted, and into "reasonable toddler" state before dropping him off...?)

Overall, it sounds like a good move to me. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Depending on his personality, I would make the change. I sent Youngest out for a long preschool because she needed high engagement and a structured schedule in a way that I couldn’t provide at home. She had long outdoor play times, lots of arts and crafts, and fun science experiments as part of her day. She also got a ton of play time and she needed the social support to play with peers. Preschool also had paid aftercare options so when I was stuck at a dr appointment with another kid I had some leeway. 
 

I used to be anti-preschool, but I have changed my mind. Look to the specific needs of the kid in front of you.

[Jaybee]

If you feel good about it when you meet the teacher, etc., it could be a positive move. While it IS a long day (and I'm generally in favor of short days for young kids), it sounds like his schedule would be a lot more structured than it is currently. For children who have experienced lots of changes, that helps them feel more secure. And the "extra" time there might be better spent than at home with your dh trying to find ways to keep him busy and quiet while he works. The pros sound pretty beneficial to me. Another pro you haven't mentioned is that with his whole schedule moved up earlier, it might give you and dh more time together in the evenings after he has gone to bed.

[Lecka]

Also — just to be fair — my younger son went to a pre-school attached to an elementary school.  
 

It was great for him.

 

But in his case — the pre-school released at a different time than the elementary school, and had its own playground.  It had little connection to the elementary school.  It had its own area for pick-up and drop-off, too, in a corner of the area (on the far side of the elementary school playground).  

 

The speech therapist would be the same, and they did go into the school gym and library sometimes.

 

But I would not count it for much that the pre-school was attached to the elementary school, for the set up that I saw.

 

And kids were from all over town, it was not something where kids stayed into Kindergarten.

 

So that could be different where you are — but it was just not something that I would count for much.

 

Edit — I think it sounds great.  But I think it’s going to be a transition between pre-school and Kindergarten regardless.  Even if it’s at the same building.  Unless they are much more integrated than what I saw.  Where my son was, the pre-school kids didn’t have specials like K and up, and they ate in the pre-school not in the same cafeteria, etc.  It was not something where I think it would matter much as far as the later transition.

If you find out it is more integrated, then I do think it would be less of a transition later.

But I mainly don’t think that is something I would count for much.

I think your impression from visiting is the main thing, and then how it fits into your own family’s needs.  
 

Edit: this son went to K at a different school, and I didn’t feel at all like he would have a head start from staying at the other school.  The ratios would be different, the rooms, and really the kids just were not part of the elementary school in a way that would make it be a very different transition compared to coming in from any other pre-school.  
 

Well, the principal, counselor, and speech therapist would have known him from pre-school.  But I don’t think that is very significant.  They were really nice people, though.  But all his teachers would have been different, new kids either way, etc.  

Edited February 2, 2021 by Lecka

[vonfirmath]

44 minutes ago, Lecka said:

Well, the principal, counselor, and speech therapist would have known him from pre-school.  But I don’t think that is very significant.  They were really nice people, though.  But all his teachers would have been different, new kids either way, etc.  

The preschool my daughter went to was more integrated from what you described. They had a separate playground. But their rooms were in one of the hallways. At the time they went to music and library -- I don't know if they did PE or art. The librarian had a special reading time for them and when they had a book fair, they got to walk through and look (but they didn't do what the older kids do -- pick out individual books they were interested in to write down and take home. Just a peek through the fair with hands clasped behind them)

 

Her preschool also pulled from kids across the district -- whereever there were parents who wanted to pay for preschool and this location was the one most convenient for them. it just happened to be the same school my daughter was zoned for as well.

 

But I would not discount how comforting it is to have familiar faces in the hallway. My daughter's preschool teacher is still at the school and waves and says Hi to her in the hallway.  Just like since she already knew some of the staff, walking in for Kindergarten was less intimidating than for preschool since while she had a new teacher, and some new routines to learn, some of the faces were familiar already.

[DawnM]

Thanks guys.   A lot of things to consider.

Right now I think most of the schools are following the state's guidelines for masking......under age 5 don't have to wear them, age 5 and up do.   So, our Pre-K at the church preschool said all pre-K had to wear them.   

I will find out though. Man, do you think we will still need them in September?   UGH.

[vonfirmath]

Just now, DawnM said:

Thanks guys.   A lot of things to consider.

Right now I think most of the schools are following the state's guidelines for masking......under age 5 don't have to wear them, age 5 and up do.   So, our Pre-K at the church preschool said all pre-K had to wear them.   

I will find out though. Man, do you think we will still need them in September?   UGH.

In short, yes.

[DawnM]

Both schools follow our local PS schedule if that matters, so he is home when I am home.   Although his current preschool doesn't close for teacher workday, only holidays.   The PS preschool will close for teacher workdays.   It isn't a huge deal, but I was just thinking through the calendar.

 

[J-rap]

I don't see a problem with that, and it sounds like it might work better for your family too.  Can you sit in on a class there sometime?  That might give you peace of mind.  

One of my kids was very shy and I was worried about her going off to a new school and all-day kindergarten.  (We didn't start homeschooling her till 3rd grade.)  In the meantime, she was going to a preschool twice/week for a few hours and she liked it.  Then I discovered a preschool at the elementary school where she'd be going to kindergarten eventually, so I transferred her there the next year.  It was a great preschool (she liked it even more than the other, actually), and it made her transition to kindergarten the following year super easy.  Plus, some of the elementary school teachers got to recognize her and know by name.   That made it nice for her transition to kindergarten as well!

Of course their class was very separate from the rest of the school.  They had their own recess time, etc.  It worked out well for us.

[wendyroo]

As previous posters mentioned, I would be most interested in their daily schedule.

My oldest briefly went to a PS preschool when he was 4. His was only 3 hours, 3 days a week.

When I signed him up, I was envisioning art, blocks, dress-up, circle time, outside play, etc. What we got instead was academic centers and a sugar snack at 11:30 which ruined his appetite for lunch when I picked him up at noon.

He would come home each day with a handful of worksheets...here he practiced copying a row of k's, here he circled pictures of things that start with k, here he cut out kangaroos and glued them into the k outline, here he colored a picture of a kite, here he practiced counting keys, etc.

He had an IEP for weekly speech therapy...which they only provided twice in the 3 months he was at the preschool. They had a dedicated preschool playground which they said they played on daily...but which they almost never actually used because it was too much hassle to get the kids in outer wear (granted it is Michigan, and getting preschoolers in snow gear is a pain, but I had two younger kids at home and was specifically paying to outsource that chore!).

In 3 months, they never did an art project beyond "letter crafts": gluing pre-cut wings onto pre-cut B's to make butterflies. And when DS tried to glue the pre-cut eyes onto the butterfly's wings, the teacher helpfully moved them to where they "should" go 🙄. The kids were only allowed to free play after they finished their centers, and there was no supervision or social support (which autistic DS desperately needed) since the teacher and assistance were still working with kids doing the "important" center work.

All in all, it was a horrible fit for us, and not at all what I thought of as a developmentally appropriate preschool. When I toured the school, it never in a million years occurred to me to ask if the easels, sensory table, play kitchen were ever actually available for use or if the kids were forced to sit at desks filling out worksheets 90% of the time. Don't be blindsided like I was: ask, ask, ask!!

[Lecka]

My son’s preschool was in two prefab buildings — they weren’t in the main building.
 

I totally agree — being in the main building would be much more integrated!  
 

I do think that would be a plus.  
 

 

[Terabith]

The elementary school schedule seems like it would be far better for your family.  My concern is that I have done a lot of substitute teaching in public school preschools, and very few of them are play based.  I would be worried that there would not be enough free and outside play and that it wouldn't be developmentally appropriate and that it would be too worksheet based.  I would definitely check and see what it's like before I moved him.  

Edited February 3, 2021 by Terabith

[Ottakee]

Does he qualify for free Great Start Readiness or Head Start Preschool?  Those are free through the school for low income/at risk kids.....and in Michigan any child that has been in the foster system, even after adoption still qualifies as that is a risk factor.

[katilac]

It sounds like the new schedule will be much better, and, like you said, the change will happen the following year if it doesn't happen next year. It's a long day for "school" for a 3-yr-old, if you think of it that way, but plenty of babies and toddlers have much longer days at daycare. As far as not having a backup school? Most people don't. They make the school they're zoned for work. 9-1 doesn't seem like tenable daycare when both parents work full-time. 

I think that more time at pre-school/daycare wins over screen time and keeping quiet for work and Zoom calls. 

 

7 hours ago, vonfirmath said:

 ETA: Also, something Ididn't have to worry about -- what is the rules about masking where the child goes now. what will the rules be at the new school (since it is unlikely the little ones will be vaccinated by next fall). Can you live with their policies? Can your kid?

I don't think any planned policies for the 2021-2022 school year mean much of anything, so I wouldn't base a decision on that. Fall semester is more than six months away. 

[Arctic Bunny]

I don’t see any real difference between him going there for those hours, or to daycare. So, much like any other daycare, as long as you like what they’re doing, it sounds like a good fit! There’s nothing wrong with needing childcare while you’re both working. He will have the structure and attention that he may find unpredictable when dad is sometimes busy, sometimes available.

[TravelingChris]

15 hours ago, DawnM said:

I typed up a whole thing, but realized it was too detailed and cumbersome to read.

Here is the synopsis.   

We are looking at possibly changing FS's preschool next year.   I would normally not be in favor of changing preschool as he has had a lot of change, but this would be a preschool AT the school he will attend in Elem. so the change would just be now instead of K.

Pros:

• 7-2 instead of 9-1, allowing DH to get more work done and allowing FS to be more engaged in learning and activities, rather than screen time to be quiet for DH's calls/conferences.
• 1.5 miles away instead of 7 miles away. 
• I could drop off on my way to work, DH would just need to pick up at 2.   It is also entirely possible a neighbor is picking a child up and could drive him/pick up some too.
• Cost is very reasonable, $250 per month.

Cons

• New school to get used to
• If it doesn't work out, we may be stuck without another option as the school he is in now has a waitlist to get in.   We are already "in" for next year if we start in Aug.   So, it isn't a "just try it out and he can go back to his current location" that won't be an option.
• Long days for a 3 year old.

Just an FYI, we don't get the childcare subsidy for the foster child since we are out of state.   We do get a stipend for his care, but not the childcare, so we need to pay.   The place he is in now have given him a hefty discount, they aren't sure about next year.   But cost would be somewhat comparable.

Thoughts?   What should I be asking?

I have talked to the teacher some at the public school, and will be meeting with her personally in the near future.

I haven't looked at anyone\s answer except the second.  My thoughts- I think screen time (which can be very educational as when watching lots of tv- nature, history, learning a new language, geography, etc-- and of course, that can easily be done with DVR or streaming too---is much better than lots of forced group learning.  My impression, and it is just an impression, is that the public pre-school and pre-k and usually k too are much more intense and mind numbingly boring than the traditional 9-1 preschool, etc.  Instead of lots of creative  and guided exploration that I see on photos that I friend who is a pre-school teacher posts on Facebook and that I remember with my oldest who went to pre-school (there was no such thing as pre-K then and all the kids were 4 turning 5), I have seen posts about much more rigged and ignorant academic early forcing of children.  So the atmosphere and how much rote academics versus learning through play and exploration at each school is what I would be exploring. Oh and everything I have read is that the good preschools with the play and exploratory learning actually prepare a child for school and help advance them academically much better than the forced early education--- and personally, my kids wanted to learn a lot when they were 3 and older- but I don't think any of them were doing letter worksheets then- at late three they may have been trying to write their names but I think it was more like 4---they got their own library cards when they could spell their first and lame (which together was more than 20 letters) and I know they all did that before 5.  But that was their desire, not my requirement and I used a page of fun worksheet- mark the circle type thing or circle the animal that lives in the water- with the younger two since they wanted to homeschool like their brother- at that age.

[DawnM]

8 hours ago, Ottakee said:

Does he qualify for free Great Start Readiness or Head Start Preschool?  Those are free through the school for low income/at risk kids.....and in Michigan any child that has been in the foster system, even after adoption still qualifies as that is a risk factor.

 

I believe he does but here that doesn't start until age 4.   

[TravelingChris]

13 hours ago, wendyroo said:

As previous posters mentioned, I would be most interested in their daily schedule.

My oldest briefly went to a PS preschool when he was 4. His was only 3 hours, 3 days a week.

When I signed him up, I was envisioning art, blocks, dress-up, circle time, outside play, etc. What we got instead was academic centers and a sugar snack at 11:30 which ruined his appetite for lunch when I picked him up at noon.

He would come home each day with a handful of worksheets...here he practiced copying a row of k's, here he circled pictures of things that start with k, here he cut out kangaroos and glued them into the k outline, here he colored a picture of a kite, here he practiced counting keys, etc.

He had an IEP for weekly speech therapy...which they only provided twice in the 3 months he was at the preschool. They had a dedicated preschool playground which they said they played on daily...but which they almost never actually used because it was too much hassle to get the kids in outer wear (granted it is Michigan, and getting preschoolers in snow gear is a pain, but I had two younger kids at home and was specifically paying to outsource that chore!).

In 3 months, they never did an art project beyond "letter crafts": gluing pre-cut wings onto pre-cut B's to make butterflies. And when DS tried to glue the pre-cut eyes onto the butterfly's wings, the teacher helpfully moved them to where they "should" go 🙄. The kids were only allowed to free play after they finished their centers, and there was no supervision or social support (which autistic DS desperately needed) since the teacher and assistance were still working with kids doing the "important" center work.

All in all, it was a horrible fit for us, and not at all what I thought of as a developmentally appropriate preschool. When I toured the school, it never in a million years occurred to me to ask if the easels, sensory table, play kitchen were ever actually available for use or if the kids were forced to sit at desks filling out worksheets 90% of the time. Don't be blindsided like I was: ask, ask, ask!!

Yes, yes, and absolutely yes,  I ran into pre-school programs like this when I was looking for ds I guess 28 years ago.  I chose instead a more developmentally appropriate and even though he was highly gifted,  his fine motor skills were a bit delayed (and now at 31, he does beautiful watercolors and pen drawings as a hobby and for presents) and I didn't want lots of copywork etc.

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, TravelingChris said:

I haven't looked at anyone\s answer except the second.  My thoughts- I think screen time (which can be very educational as when watching lots of tv- nature, history, learning a new language, geography, etc-- and of course, that can easily be done with DVR or streaming too---is much better than lots of forced group learning.  My impression, and it is just an impression, is that the public pre-school and pre-k and usually k too are much more intense and mind numbingly boring than the traditional 9-1 preschool, etc.  Instead of lots of creative  and guided exploration that I see on photos that I friend who is a pre-school teacher posts on Facebook and that I remember with my oldest who went to pre-school (there was no such thing as pre-K then and all the kids were 4 turning 5), I have seen posts about much more rigged and ignorant academic early forcing of children.  So the atmosphere and how much rote academics versus learning through play and exploration at each school is what I would be exploring. Oh and everything I have read is that the good preschools with the play and exploratory learning actually prepare a child for school and help advance them academically much better than the forced early education--- and personally, my kids wanted to learn a lot when they were 3 and older- but I don't think any of them were doing letter worksheets then- at late three they may have been trying to write their names but I think it was more like 4---they got their own library cards when they could spell their first and lame (which together was more than 20 letters) and I know they all did that before 5.  But that was their desire, not my requirement and I used a page of fun worksheet- mark the circle type thing or circle the animal that lives in the water- with the younger two since they wanted to homeschool like their brother- at that age.

He does like educational programming.   His new favorite show is Blippi.   You know, the kind of show that makes adults want to punch someone but kids love?   

 

[mmasc]

I think I’m with a few other posters in saying that *what* they do is the more important question than the hours. I think he would adjust to the hours and structure of the day. But, like others, the pre-k associated with a ps school can be more worksheet-y and boring. I’d be hesitant to move him if he enjoys the current place and if next year would be similar there. My son went to the 4-yr program at the local ps and it was like @wendyroo described—SO many worksheets and so mind numbingly boring. My own BFF has been a ps kindergarten teacher for over 20 years and even she says that the 4-yr old program is all about getting them ready for the demands and workload of kindergarten 😢.  So definitely ask what the day looks like and what they do for every chunk of it. Then you can see if it would be a good fit. 

Edited February 3, 2021 by mmasc

[Lecka]

The public school pre-school my son went to was developmentally appropriate.

I agree that is a concern.  

Edit:  I think that can be seen in a visit.  

Edit:  To be honest -- some church pre-schools have gotten less developmentally appropriate and more worksheet-y, too.  I think this is a concern anywhere!  

Edited February 3, 2021 by Lecka

[DawnM]

Today when my husband took him in the teacher told him that they are wondering if we are ok putting him in a different classroom.   Apparently he is one of the youngest, if not the youngest child in that class and isn't doing well with the heavy structure.   

We are fine with them moving him, but I wish she had communicated with us earlier.   I have emailed asking for more information.

She said the younger group isn't as highly structured.

There are 2 three year old groups, so I am guessing the "older" group is the one that has birthdays from Aug-Dec and the second group has kids turning 3 from Jan-July.   He turned 3 at the end of November and has had a few delays that I can see.   He said all of 3 or 4 words when we got him and he talks up a storm now, but it took a while. 

I assume next year they will just automatically put him in the younger group.

He also has a lot of trouble with transitions.   We notice if we give him a few min. heads up he does much better with it.

[Lecka]

My younger son's pre-school (public school) had reserved slots for special needs, and because of this they had "built-in supports" around things like transitions.  

I think you can ask about this both places and see what they say.  

I would also feel free to share with them that your son does better with a warning -- they might add that to help him where he is now!  It never hurts to ask and/or explain how/why it's helpful.   

[Lecka]

14 minutes ago, DawnM said:

I assume next year they will just automatically put him in the younger group.

I wouldn't assume this.  I think they are always going to look at the kids they have and group them in a way that makes sense.  It will depend on the other kids and how your son is next year.  If you have an opinion that you want him in the younger group, I think say that you are thinking that would make sense.  

[Lecka]

I would also ask what they mean by structure.  

Is this time spent on different things?

Amount of "free time" or "self-directed time?" 

Or is it time when the activities they are doing do not require as much "sitting still and paying attention" or as much "following directions"?

These are all a little different from each other.

You can see if you think one place or the other has more expectations for "sitting still and paying attention" or "following directions" and which one you think is a better fit.  

And if you think the free time is organized/supervised in a way you are really happy with.  If your son can organize himself then it doesn't matter.  If he needs more support during free time then that is something to care about.  If he can manage his own play and get along -- then the opportunity to do that I think is very important.  And if not, support in that I think is very important.  

Really self-management and getting along are supposed to be most important for Kindergarten and beyond, even though they are not worksheets that a lot of places will do so they can show a completed worksheet as proof of doing things.  

Edited February 3, 2021 by Lecka

[SKL]

My biggest issue would be waking myself and the child up that much earlier.  Is he a morning person??

I think the change factor would be a net zero, since the "new preschool" will be his school going forward.

The obvious thing is to go and get a feel for both schools.  When I was checking out preschools, the visits made it very clear which one would be the best fit for my kids.  It was not the one that looked best on paper.

Edited February 3, 2021 by SKL

[SKL]

I would just add something from my experience.  My kids moved from a daycare / preschool / KG to their 1-8 elementary school at age 5.  Most of their classmates had been at the elementary for one or more years prior, as it also had preschool 3, preschool 4, and KG on site.  The beginning of 1st grade was a bit rough because my kids didn't know all the rules and norms that their classmates knew.  I got reports like "they wanted to touch every instrument in the music room."  Things that sounded natural to me (for young kids in a new setting), but that set a negative tone that followed my kids for years.  Transition-wise, there would have been benefits to moving my kids a year or more earlier, especially since pre-1st grade there aren't performance grades etc. to be affected.  (It wasn't a realistic option for us anyway, but it would have helped in some ways.)

Edited February 3, 2021 by SKL

[vonfirmath]

2 minutes ago, SKL said:

I would just add something from my experience.  My kids moved from a daycare / preschool / KG to their 1-8 elementary school at age 5.  Most of their classmates had been at the elementary for one or more years prior, as it also had preschool 3, preschool 4, and KG on site.  The beginning of 1st grade was a bit rough because my kids didn't know all the rules and norms that their classmates knew.  I got reports like "they wanted to touch every instrument in the music room."  Things that sounded natural to me, (for young kids in a new setting), but that set a negative tone that followed my kids for years.  Transition-wise, there would have been benefits to moving my kids a year or more earlier, especially since pre-1st grade there aren't performance grades etc. to be affected.  (It wasn't a realistic option for us anyway, but it would have helped in some ways.)

After my daughter took preschool at the school where both my kids did K+ in -- I did end up wishing I'd had the opportunity for my son to do it as well. We didn't live in the current district at the time--but I think it would have been better for him as well than the home daycare we had him in (And I loved our provider at the time)

[Ottakee]

5 hours ago, DawnM said:

 

I believe he does but here that doesn't start until age 4.   

If he had any delays he might qualify for PPI or other special needs preschool as well.

[DawnM]

I told the director he has a built in support therapist since  he is in the foster care system and she suggested I meet with the therapist and get her suggestions  and they would try to work on those in the classroom.

She said he cries when he doesn't want to transition, or doesn't want to stop doing something and ONLY want the lead teacher to hold him.   She said if he would allow the assistant to hold him, it wouldn't be as big of an issue.

 

[DawnM]

3 hours ago, Ottakee said:

If he had any delays he might qualify for PPI or other special needs preschool as well.

 

The therapist didn't seem to think he had delays, but we will see.

Part of the issue is that his mom never wanted him to cry, so she would pick him up at the first whimper.   She also gave him whatever he wanted to avoid him being upset.   So hearing no and not getting what he wants has been more of a challenge for us, but he is doing so much better with more boundaries.