how are we feeling this week?

[omishev]

Local schools started this yesterday. I am 90% psyched NOT to be doing that this year (it is our first year homeschooling). I see friends posting pictures at the bus stop at 6:30am. No thank you, I was just being woken up by my 2 youngest who were climbing into my bed for morning snuggles. We went on a hike with friends, did reading, math, science, Bible, practiced music, did chores and spent much of the glorious fall day barefoot outside. Life is good 🙂 Still had some behavior issues to deal with but at least now we have a lifestyle that allows time to actually deal with it correctly.

How are other homeschool moms feeling about school starting for everyone else? 

[Junie]

We have homeschooled for 15 years now.

The biggest obstacle with public school starting is getting stuck behind the school bus when I'm running errands. :)

[JustEm]

Well, kids going back to school usually means dh's work schedule slows down but for some reason that isn't the case this year so I'm pretty meh about other kids starting school.  I'm excited about our home school group starting in a few weeks

 

[Guest]

Well, this will be my first fall in sixteen years with nobody homeschooled. It’s a strange feeling. But also good. I’m glad my youngest is going to school. 

We have not started here yet, since Hogan signed in the start-after-Labor Day bill. 

[HomeAgain]

Defeated.  Exasperated.  Helpless.
I took on an extra kid this year for tutoring.  We have a pattern: I teach the lesson while he plays with any and everything.  I ask questions, he blows me off.  He works independently........and cries.  Lots of tears.  And this is pretty standard for every day.  Today he and I had a heart to heart where I laid it out for him: this pattern doesn't work for a young man and he needs to start thinking of ways to answer his problems.  Like if he doesn't understand, what does he need to do? (No, write stuff down anyway is not the right answer here.  It's just not.)
And he cried more.

I'm not a touchy-feely person to begin with and I just don't know how to deal with this effectively.  I warned both him and his mom that I am no-nonsense. That I have expectations.  That I scaffold the lessons so that we're almost never working with all brand new material.  But I may be buying stock in Kleenex this year if this crying doesn't stop. 

[HomeAgain]

9 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Did you suggest it wasn’t a good fit (rather than just expressing you don’t put up with tears or w/e)? I think this is a personality clash even if the tears stop. Maybe a sensitive child. 

Yes, but it actually goes deeper than that.  This particular child's educational history has been...haphazard at best and not a whole lot of intentional skill teaching at worst.  We worked some last year to get him to a point where he could write a coherent thought.  But while he has been expected to take in information, he has not really been expected to do anything with it.  Hence, the tears.  They have worked well in the past as a resistance tool for his other teachers.  Crying means he doesn't have to finish whatever output is needed: written, oral, whatever.  He's getting to the point, though, where his skills are starting to lag quite noticeably behind his peers.
Giving up without another plan in place for him isn't an option I'm willing to drop in their lap. At least, it would tick at my conscience.  He really does need these skills.  He has to want to, though.  He told me today he won't ask questions because he wants to do it himself.  So then he doesn't understand and makes a mess of his work as he cries all over it. If they want to find someone else they're more than welcome, but I'll give it a while to see if he makes *any* progress before being more firm on suggesting that.  I give his mom daily updates right now and discuss how to adjust, but........
Yeah, just feeling defeated today.

[Arcadia]

Our district started back on August 15th as usual. The high school school bus drops the kids in front of the city’s library which is diagonally opposite the supermarket at 5pm. So I try to go to the supermarket before the high school crowd comes in and the self check line becomes long.  

The school bus comes at 7am for my neighborhood and DS13 usually wakes up very early so no chance of sleeping in for me as DS13 is slow when no one nags him. 

It is still heat stroke season around here. Thankfully we are not in the current red flag warning (wildfire danger) zone.

Edited August 29, 2019 by Arcadia
Typing

[alisoncooks]

We've been back to school for several weeks now, though the local schools started this week.  This is our 9th year and it's going well so far. Plus, I'm super happy to still be abed when the bus rolls by in the a.m.

[Farrar]

I don't even know anymore.

I'm teaching a not online class for the first time in awhile. And the kids have more online stuff themselves. I'll know once we get into the swing of things post-Labor Day.

[mommyoffive]

4 hours ago, omishev said:

Local schools started this yesterday. I am 90% psyched NOT to be doing that this year (it is our first year homeschooling). I see friends posting pictures at the bus stop at 6:30am. No thank you, I was just being woken up by my 2 youngest who were climbing into my bed for morning snuggles. We went on a hike with friends, did reading, math, science, Bible, practiced music, did chores and spent much of the glorious fall day barefoot outside. Life is good 🙂 Still had some behavior issues to deal with but at least now we have a lifestyle that allows time to actually deal with it correctly.

How are other homeschool moms feeling about school starting for everyone else? 

 

Oh I miss the young days of homeschooling when it was like that.   

[RootAnn]

1 hour ago, HomeAgain said:

He told me today he won't ask questions because he wants to do it himself.  So then he doesn't understand and makes a mess of his work .

Unfortunately, I've never been able to get through to these type of people unless I was able to put myself in a situation where they were really good at something that I wasn't (Or could reasonably fake being horrible at) - like video games. If I could mimic their behavior without going over the top (which is tough for me) and they try to teach me while I goof off, not listen, whatever, to the point that they get frustrated at me.

Once or twice, that has worked. But the stars have to align.

One kid just walked off vs. dealing with the me-version-of-himself. I was chagrined.

ETA: To stay on topic, how am I feeling? Like I need more summer or a vacation. Caught the cold that has been going through the family & it hasn't helped anything. Backaches. Headaches. Snuffly nose. Cough. But I still need to get school done with my young'uns. And I miss my college girl.

Edited August 29, 2019 by RootAnn
Added to be on topic

[Soror]

This is our 8th week homeschooling so we are getting in a good groove and I'm loving our year, last year was our first without him and it felt a little off all year but we've got our bearings. Ds started to PS highschool 2 weeks ago and we're getting into the swing of that. I have had more late nights than I would like helping him with homework, well mostly I stay up for moral support and to help with focus. IDK perhaps he'd do fine without me but I'm a bit nervous with him in all honors and it counting for credit. 

[EmseB]

We started school this week. I'm eight months pregnant. It is late summer and will be 100* (give or take) every day for at least another month or so.

That said, the first three days of school have gone swimmingly, really.

I am glad PS started a couple weeks ago. I love all the fun the neighborhood kids have together and how much my kids love socializing, but my introverted self loves the relative peace and not having to worry about who is on our trampoline/in our house for a few hours a day.

[omishev]

1 hour ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Oh I miss the young days of homeschooling when it was like that.   

So how much longer do I have? My kids are 7, 5, 3 and one on the way! 

[EmseB]

1 minute ago, omishev said:

So how much longer do I have? My kids are 7, 5, 3 and one on the way! 

For me, the kind of carefree aspect started to drop off when my oldest hit 5th or 6th grade. Our ability to go on unscheduled hikes or field trips became less possible because school or academic subjects couldn't just be dropped to go to the fun thing we got invited to. I felt more like we needed to be consistently at home each day for a good chunk of time to do schoolwork. But everyone's school is different. We are the opposite of un school, lol.

And it kind of sucked for my younger kids for awhile because they didn't get the fun toddler outings to the indoor gym at the Y or spontaneous park trips as much. But they got different stuff, like coop pre school.

[hippiemamato3]

I'm really tired. That's mostly all I'm feeling - tired. 

[Arcadia]

29 minutes ago, omishev said:

So how much longer do I have? My kids are 7, 5, 3 and one on the way! 

 

When they have scheduled outsourced brick and mortar classes that is better not to skip. My kids brought their laptops and headsets on road trips for their online classes and use hotel room WiFi. My kids have attended online classes while at the airport during the transit wait. The teachers for their not for credit brick and mortar classes are rather flexible about a missed lesson or two. DS14 is starting dual enrollment next month and he can’t skip classes so we have to plan vacations based on his community college schedule.

In terms of outdoor fun, mine outgrew the pumpkin patch and beaches at around 10. They would tag along if it is a monthly outing but not if it is more often. They rather stay home. It’s partially allergies (ragweed, hay fever), partially the hot weather and partially personality.

[Tree Frog]

I no longer have any kids at home, but I'm a substitute teacher and have been subbing this week in pre k and spec ed, the first week back at school. When I first read the title of the thread, I wondered if another school district had shifted its focus from "a good day or a bad day" indicated in their take home folders to "how am I feeling today," with 4 or 5 different choices. While I like the change from good, ok, and bad days, I wish there were also an option for "how hard I tried today." I think that shift on paper at first might help the students eventually see that they will have more success if they put in an effort, even if that effort doesn't yield what they expect. Too many kids (and adults for that matter) believe if they're not feeling well that they don't need to try and the day will be bad regardless of their effort, so why try.

[BakersDozen]

We're in week 3 for this new school year and I'm loving it. Having graduated 4 in what seems like the blink of an eye I am cherishing every single day with the ones I have at home. This will be year number 18 (or 19?) so I feel so much more confident which is nice. Today I overheard one of my high school students (I host a Forensic Science class once/week) sharing what she is being taught in her CC English class...oh my. I am so, so, so glad my teens are still home.

As for how I feel about school starting for everyone else I really love it as we can go to the Y during the day and it's not packed with summer camp kids or to the park, etc. and we have it to ourselves.

[Shoeless]

A few months ago, I was feeling burned out and completely *over* homeschooling, to the point where I investigated all the schools within a 40 minute drive of me.  I told DH I either wanted to move out of state or put the kid in school or maybe both.  I was just tired of the responsibility of it all.  I was completely tired of other homeschoolers and the flakiness.  I can do either the mom stuff or the academic stuff or the social stuff for kiddo, but I don't want to deal with all 3.   

This was also at a peak in friction between DS11 and I.  He wasn't being mean to me, but everyone else around him, and would roll his eyes when I'd try to talk to him.  Wouldn't listen to anything I said about it, wouldn't change his behavior.  He just kept right on being a jerk and it was so stressful and embarrassing. Grounding him was a temporary fix and then he went back to pre-teen snottiness. So, I said "Forget this", and basically cancelled summer fun.  He wasn't grounded, but we didn't do anything in particular this summer.  After spending the last 5 years putting so much effort into homeschooling him and trying to create a great experience for him, I put nearly zero effort into the summer.  We stayed home and I let him be bored for 3 months.  He went to camp for 2 days, he went to a few library programs this month, but otherwise we were home.  No swimming, no bowling, no movies, no outings with friends, no fairs, no camping, nothing. He got a 1970s style summer: There's the kitchen, fix yourself something to eat if you get hungry, I'll be on the deck reading a book, don't bother me.  Figure out "fun" for yourself. 

I feel a lot better and DS11 seems to have sorted himself out (for now). Even though we didn't do anything special, he seemed content to stay home and play with our new kitten, read books, and even play with toys again.   

So I feel pretty good now.  It's honestly been so heart-warming to hear him laughing and playing again. I feel pretty good about the start of our new year.          

 

[Shellydon]

Exhausted. I run a big co-op (200 families) and I am completely worn out. 

[DawnM]

We used to feel that way too, and we homeschooled for 10 years.  However, we are happily at the other end of it, with me working full time again and all the kids in a B&M school (2 college and 1 high school).  It was a season, and we enjoyed it, and now we are on to the next season, and we will enjoy it too (although I don't like my kids being gone!)

And on that note, I need to jump in the shower and get ready for work. 😃 

Enjoy your kids home!

 

[sassenach]

13 hours ago, omishev said:

So how much longer do I have? My kids are 7, 5, 3 and one on the way! 

Don’t let us bring you down. These are really sweet years and the investment of cuddles and read alouds really does last a lifetime. My kids still talk about it. 

Since you’re a newbie, here is my advice: 1) You matter. How you feel about homeschooling, life, and your responsibilities matters. As you make decisions, always take your personal feelings, goals, desires, energy level, and capacity into consideration. 

2) Never be afraid to change course or seek help. Don’t fall for the “homeschool is best and otherwise I’m a failure” lie. Be ok with outsourcing, sending a kid to school, getting an evaluation, seeking therapy, etc. 

I loved hsing from beginning to end with my 2 youngest because I learned these hard lessons with my eldest. I have no regrets and a lot of super sweet memories with them. Enjoy your school year!

Edited August 29, 2019 by sassenach

[ScoutTN]

We are in week 2 and still finding our rhythm. It takes us about a month to really get into a good routine.

I do miss the fun, carefree days with little kids! Loved, loved, loved those years!!!

Big kids are fun too, just different. I love the more challenging material and discussing big ideas. I love seeing them become more independent and take on challenges. I don't love the stress of deadlines and so much less free time. Teens are a rollercoaster so far, and I'm still on the front end of the ride! Feeling the weight of my responsibility heavily right now.

Trying hard to keep some of the fun stuff in our homeschool. Nature walks, RA, poetry, field trips,  etc. 

I miss going to the beach in September, but maybe not this coming week with the storm in the Caribbean! 

[Storygirl]

22 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

Yes, but it actually goes deeper than that.  This particular child's educational history has been...haphazard at best and not a whole lot of intentional skill teaching at worst.  We worked some last year to get him to a point where he could write a coherent thought.  But while he has been expected to take in information, he has not really been expected to do anything with it.  Hence, the tears.  They have worked well in the past as a resistance tool for his other teachers.  Crying means he doesn't have to finish whatever output is needed: written, oral, whatever.  He's getting to the point, though, where his skills are starting to lag quite noticeably behind his peers.
Giving up without another plan in place for him isn't an option I'm willing to drop in their lap. At least, it would tick at my conscience.  He really does need these skills.  He has to want to, though.  He told me today he won't ask questions because he wants to do it himself.  So then he doesn't understand and makes a mess of his work as he cries all over it. If they want to find someone else they're more than welcome, but I'll give it a while to see if he makes *any* progress before being more firm on suggesting that.  I give his mom daily updates right now and discuss how to adjust, but........
Yeah, just feeling defeated today.

 

14 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Ah. Well I suspect his issues go deeper than school and until the root of that is addressed he won’t churn out the work or improve in attitude. He may lack control in his life or doesn’t want to admit he can’t do something because of the stigma, ego, inability to succeed in other areas, etc. 

While you can’t do much about any of this, I would recommend reframing the priorities on school to potentially need to take a back burner to other things in his life. IOW, who cares if you can’t write your thoughts/wrote a paper when you just need someone to listen to your thoughts. Maybe he would benefit from counseling. But I don’t know as much as you and I could be reaching. 

I had the same thoughts as heartlikealion when I read the description of the student. Have they had any evaluations or counseling? You don't have to answer; I'm just presenting it as something to consider and maybe discuss with the parents.The description of emotions and rigidity reminds me of one of my sons. The crying can be a learned behavior, but it can also be a sign of distress that the student feels internally but is not able to verbalize. In my son's case, it was both, I think. It was super frustrating to work with him, and we eventually enrolled in school (and also sought testing, when related problems cropped up at school), because I couldn't make headway with him myself after years of trying. A few years later, and he is now thriving and doing much better academically than I would have expected, including taking some advanced classes on his own initiative. Some things in that description also remind me of my other son, who has learning disabilities, including dysgraphia.

Edited August 29, 2019 by Storygirl

[HomeAgain]

1 hour ago, Storygirl said:

 

I had the same thoughts as heartlikealion when I read the description of the student. Have they had any evaluations or counseling? You don't have to answer; I'm just presenting it as something to consider and maybe discuss with the parents.The description of emotions and rigidity reminds me of one of my sons. The crying can be a learned behavior, but it can also be a sign of distress that the student feels internally but is not able to verbalize. In my son's case, it was both, I think. It was super frustrating to work with him, and we eventually enrolled in school (and also sought testing, when related problems cropped up at school), because I couldn't make headway with him myself after years of trying. A few years later, and he is now thriving and doing much better academically than I would have expected, including taking some advanced classes on his own initiative. Some things in that description also remind me of my other son, who has learning disabilities, including dysgraphia.

There will be no evaluations.  His parents are not the type to usually seek out help such as that.  And I have a funny feeling that it really is a learned behavior, but one that may need specific techniques to work on that.  He has not done school, really, for quite a while.  And I do mean it's been a long time. He has worked with me, and he did a free online program when he felt like it, but did not finish the year with it.  And it was done in spurts, so often nothing was done and then he'd burn through quite a bit at a time.  But it was so haphazard and student-led that he stopped in the middle of the 4th grade program.  Nobody was going to force him to do it, or set a routine, or check on it other than a weekly email sent to the parents (hence, the spurts, which often came with rounds of tears when work was mentioned).  This is really the first time in his school life someone has demanded something of him almost daily and persistently and it's quite a change.  I'd like to get him into routine, then reassess what needs he has at that point.  If he sticks to it.  I want him to.  He has lofty goals for his life, but not a one of them is going to happen the way he thinks they will. And he needs to get a handle on this behavior so he can be prepared for those paths.

I am currently taking the work I give a younger student, cutting it down, and walking him through the steps.  He absolutely can manage this.  He does need to internalize that, though.

[HomeAgain]

Just adding - today I am feeling much better.  It's my day off. I got much of my frustration out with yardwork, lol, and just got a nice mental break from everything.  I took time for myself, did not open a school book, and will get back to it all tomorrow nice and fresh.

[HomeAgain]

Heart, did you read Tara Westover's book Educated?  Imagine elements of that, but taking place in a high-reg state.

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

5 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

Heart, did you read Tara Westover's book Educated?  Imagine elements of that, but taking place in a high-reg state.

 

Yeah, I was thinking that your posts seemed to point to educational neglect rather than learning issues.  Though with educational neglect, no one would know if there was also learning issues. . . .  

[Jean in Newcastle]

As to the OP's original question, I'm feeling just fine.  I have never compared myself to public schoolers around me.  I mean, I did have the thought when my kids were kindergarten age that if I were public schooling we would be at the Kindergarten Roundup etc. but we have made our own traditions.  We are actually going to start school on Monday, Labor Day, which has been our tradition for over 12 years (since ds22 was kindergarten age). 

[Jaybee]

This is the first year in 28 years that I have not had a homeschooler at home. I word it that way because for the last couple of years, I haven't actually homeschooled, even though I had a student at home. I know some don't call that homeschooling, but he was using a correspondence school and dual enrollment. He is now a freshman at the university, and is thoroughly enjoying his classes so far. My youngest started to ps a couple of years ago, and it really is the best fit for him. He doesn't seem terribly happy, but he definitely wasn't happy at home either. 😞 I wish I knew how to really spark interest for him.

Wait--there were a couple of years I did have all of my at-home kids in a small private school during those 28 years. But except for that I had anywhere from 1-4 students at a time, with olders and/or youngers as well. I miss the days of read-alouds and our school-day rhythms, with the ability to vacation at better times and travel when we wanted or needed to. I enjoyed it. I do not miss the days of trying to figure out what would work with a couple of my kids, dealing with theirs and my frustration, and not knowing if I was doing the right thing for them or not. It's been a good run overall, though. Despite the times of frustration, I believe they ended up in a much better place because of my working with them so intensely than they would have, otherwise. 

I'm in a new season now, trying to figure it out. I don't enjoy it tons yet, because I don't feel like I have truly found my niche yet. I'm continuing to search, though. I'm working, kind of bored, wishing I could find something I really find fulfilling, but after work I'm too tired to explore other options much. I'll keep looking and thinking about it...