Menu
Jump to content

What's with the ads?

Janeway

Only child of a gender? And way too much homework

Recommended Posts

My daughter is IN school because she is desperate to have someone to play with all the time. When on break, she is constantly asking me to play school or play LOL or play Barbie, etc.. The public school was awful. I posted about it last year, the "pretty girl club" and extreme bullying. It was a nightmare. Then to add to it, they did not teach anything. They just tested and told the parents that they expected the parents to be "working with the kids" at home. (they don't call it teaching the kids at home).  We switched to this classical education school. Everyone is GREAT. I mean, no bullying, excellent education, just really, a really good school.  But, there is about 30-45 minutes of homework every night. Then reading on top of this. There are two recesses so that is nice. And big part of me thinks she should not leave because it is difficult to get in.  

 

But my biggest problem is, friendships.  She is desperate for little girl friendships and going to school does that for her. She is surrounded by brothers.

 

I do not know what to do. I am seriously considering home schooling and just hoping all works out. IF it does not, it can be very hard to get back in to the classical education school. Other parents have already tried to talk to administration about the heavy homework load, but they just answer there is a very long wait list to get in to the school. If we do not like the workload, they have plenty of people to take our child's place. 

 

I would love any advice, thank you! (regarding the friendship issue and considering switching to home school). Edited to clarify..she is in 1st grade. 

Edited by Janeway

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are any of her brothers close in age? Mine are boy girl twins and gender isn't as much an issue as compatibility.  They are each interested in very different things but they have to constantly compromise and take turns playing their top choice.  So in the early years they would play a board game or two and then my son would promise to play with stuffed animals for 45 minutes.  He sometimes got into it and sometimes looked INCREDIBLY board, but he knew that was the only way to get another board game!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I understand this correctly she is in a good school with good teaching, no negative social aspects (like bullying) and has the social interactions that she craves? The only thing that you don’t like is the homework?  I wouldn’t pull her out over that. You might ask on the afterschooling board but I think that I remember people picking and choosing what homework to do if some of it is busy work. 

Edited by Jean in Newcastle
Typo
  • Like 17

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

If I understand this correctly she is in a good school with good teaching, no negative social aspects (like bullying) and has the social interactions that she craves? The only thing that you don’t like is the homework?  I wouldn’t pull her out over that. You might ask on the afterschooling board but I think that I remember people picking and choosing what homework to do if some of it is busy work. 

I agree.  Too many positives to pull her out over 30 min of homework.  That isn't too bad any way.

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How old is she? 30 - 45 minutes doesn't seem like that much honestly, even for a first grader. Is it meant to be 30 - 45 minutes but taking much longer due to dwaddling or just not wanting to do it? Or is she getting it done in 30 - 45 minutes?

Does she have activities in the evening that make it difficult to get the homework done? If so, I might tell my child that if they want to keep doing activities, we may need to go back to homeschooling so she has time for the activities. If she wants to stay in school, then she may need to reduce or drop the activities. Let it be her choice, even if she is in early elementary school I would still let it be her choice with the understanding that if she decides to homeschool, she may not be able to go back to this classical school if she changes her mind. My kids at 6 years old would have been able to make that decision though they may have needed to be reminded that what ever they chose was their choice and that they needed to suck it up and deal with it from time to time.

The school's response to parent complaints about homework load concerns me a little, if they are that apathetic about concerns of parents, what if a bigger problem arises? I wonder if enough parents came together at once and made a big enough deal (as in not afraid to walk and tell the parents on the waiting list and others in the community why they walked) if they would change their tune? All in all though, if the homework load was literally the only problem I had with the school, and everything else was wonderful, I would probably just deal with it in whatever way seemed to best help all involved parties.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know a lot of parents do their kids homework for them when it gets overwhelming.  I might be inclined to do that and just quickly go over it orally with them.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
44 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

If I understand this correctly she is in a good school with good teaching, no negative social aspects (like bullying) and has the social interactions that she craves? The only thing that you don’t like is the homework?  I wouldn’t pull her out over that. You might ask on the afterschooling board but I think that I remember people picking and choosing what homework to do if some of it is busy work. 

She ends up crying so much over the home work anymore. And, the teacher has us filling out on a sheet how long each portion of home work takes. In this past week, I wrote that the 10 words that had to be copied 5 times each and given markings on each word for things, took a half hour (that is only about 30 seconds a word) I was told if she cannot handle this, things will be very difficult next year. They said it should have taken her 5 minutes total for that portion (which would have been 6 seconds per word, copied and marked). There are also between 60-100 math problems daily. These math problems, for 1st grade, are to the effect of 34-17, done over and over again. Each page is pretty much the same kind of problem done over and over again. That is supposed to take up to ten minutes. It does not. I hear from other parents that they are having big trouble too, but they feel like they just have to deal with it. On top of this, there is supposed to be reading time, studying for tests, and/or memorizing a poem. There is a weekly poem. So every day ends with her crying hysterically over it now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think 30 minutes of homework is a lot.  I had at least that much when I was in school.  My school day ended at 2:30 though.  If hers ends late, then I could see how it seems like a lot of homework.

I know the difficulties with friendships.  My daughter (9) is the only girl with 2 brothers and would love some little girl friends.  She is the only girl in her grade at church and the older kids aren't very friendly for her.  They are already getting "cool" and she seems little to them (she's young for her grade anyway).  They are just concerned with cell phones and the movies and shows they have seen, and we don't watch TV so my daughter is left out.  She is much more mature than the kids in the grade below her.  We participate in other group activities but it's hard to really form friendships in those because the kids see each other for an hour per week and are busy.  Our neighborhood doesn't have many kids.  Our friends don't have girls the same age.  So, she is a little lonely.

I feel badly, but I remember the awful "friend" culture from my private Christian school and I don't want her to have that either.  I think she is coming to a critical age in a couple years when kids get immersed in peers and can't recognize if their relationships are healthy.  I'm always looking for playmates but don't want to modify our life to immerse her in friendships that may not be healthy as she gets older.  For me, that will be trying to do more playdates at the park or have new families over more.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Janeway said:

She ends up crying so much over the home work anymore. And, the teacher has us filling out on a sheet how long each portion of home work takes. In this past week, I wrote that the 10 words that had to be copied 5 times each and given markings on each word for things, took a half hour (that is only about 30 seconds a word) I was told if she cannot handle this, things will be very difficult next year. They said it should have taken her 5 minutes total for that portion (which would have been 6 seconds per word, copied and marked). There are also between 60-100 math problems daily. These math problems, for 1st grade, are to the effect of 34-17, done over and over again. Each page is pretty much the same kind of problem done over and over again. That is supposed to take up to ten minutes. It does not. I hear from other parents that they are having big trouble too, but they feel like they just have to deal with it. On top of this, there is supposed to be reading time, studying for tests, and/or memorizing a poem. There is a weekly poem. So every day ends with her crying hysterically over it now.

 

Wow, that sounds like a lot for 1st grade.  I assumed your child was older.  I would get incredibly annoyed with the school's attitude of "if you don't like it, go elsewhere".  If there is huge stress and crying, yes, I would definitely consider pulling her out.  Do you have someone you could invite over weekly?  Or is there a playgroup you could join?

A huge bonus in homeschooling is building family relationships rather than peer friendships.  I know friendships are important but it seems that they get out of balance and kids often value them more than family relationships.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

I agree.  Too many positives to pull her out over 30 min of homework.  That isn't too bad any way.

The home work takes more like an hour total and that is before stuff like reading. She is in first grade. The teacher straight out told me next year will be about double the work.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Regarding the homework level, why don't you talk to the teacher and create a plan for the remainder of the year too make it manageable?  That way you show the teacher that you want to comply.  Homework doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing deal..

So for example ...  If math is supposed to take 10 minutes, tell the teacher for week 1, you'll set the timer for 10 minutes and see how much your DD can get done.  Then for week 2, you'll ask her to do 1-2 more problems within the 10 minutes.  And you'll keep going that way until you meet the goal for all the problems within 10 minutes.  Or alternatively you could ask DD To work for 1 more minute in week 2 and then an extra 1 minutes in week 3, etc.  Plus it sounds like they are relying on rote memorization - so maybe promise 5-10 min of rote memorization of math facts (blech, not my cuppa tea - but if that's what they expect in order to achieve that pacing .....)

This way you set the boundaries but at the same time you are working on getting to the next level.  Perhaps if the teacher sees that you are diligently working toward the goal, (s)he will be more understanding.  And maybe promise to work on it over the summer so that by the fall when 2nd grade starts, she's at the level she needs to be.

  • Like 9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, domestic_engineer said:

Regarding the homework level, why don't you talk to the teacher and create a plan for the remainder of the year too make it manageable?  That way you show the teacher that you want to comply.  Homework doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing deal..

So for example ...  If math is supposed to take 10 minutes, tell the teacher for week 1, you'll set the timer for 10 minutes and see how much your DD can get done.  Then for week 2, you'll ask her to do 1-2 more problems within the 10 minutes.  And you'll keep going that way until you meet the goal for all the problems within 10 minutes.  Or alternatively you could ask DD To work for 1 more minute in week 2 and then an extra 1 minutes in week 3, etc.  Plus it sounds like they are relying on rote memorization - so maybe promise 5-10 min of rote memorization of math facts (blech, not my cuppa tea - but if that's what they expect in order to achieve that pacing .....)

This way you set the boundaries but at the same time you are working on getting to the next level.  Perhaps if the teacher sees that you are diligently working toward the goal, (s)he will be more understanding.  And maybe promise to work on it over the summer so that by the fall when 2nd grade starts, she's at the level she needs to be.

So far, she gets it done. My daughter is a "rule follower" and does it. But she cries a ton while doing it and before doing it. IF I sent the work back undone, she will be held in from recess to do it.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, Janeway said:

So far, she gets it done. My daughter is a "rule follower" and does it. But she cries a ton while doing it and before doing it. IF I sent the work back undone, she will be held in from recess to do it.

Would they keep her inside for recess if she's working the plan that you agreed to since it's not willful disobedience?  .... And (insert devil horns here)  what if they had a whole classroom staying inside for recess?  That might be a daily, visual reminder for the school to address the homework issue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder if you should work on how she is handling the anxiety.   All that crying for 30 minutes in first grades speaks to me more of anxiety.  Although, I'd first see if she is sleeping well and has eaten enough before she starts.

Are you sitting with her and helping her?  I have one who does 300% better and is far less overwhelmed if I sit with him and read things out loud.  He is much older than your dd, but he just does better with support.  He also is my cuddler, so I think that is part of it (if you are not sitting with her and she is away all day, could that be what she needs? connection with you?)

But, if it is anxiety, working with her on putting it into perspective and self-calming could help a lot.  And, if she can not get it done and misses recess everyday, then maybe she should change educational venues.  But, it sounds like she is getting it done, but is feeling out of proportion stressed by it.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, domestic_engineer said:

Would they keep her inside for recess if she's working the plan that you agreed to since it's not willful disobedience?  .... And (insert devil horns here)  what if they had a whole classroom staying inside for recess?  That might be a daily, visual reminder for the school to address the homework issue.

Yes, when I was a first grade teacher I always wanted to know how long it took the children because I never wanted homework to take more than 30 minutes.  I did occasionally have a smart, compliant in class girl, who worked hard in school and got her work done quickly, easily and well in class, whose mother would tell me that the homework was taking her over an hour.  It was good for both the parent and me to know this.  We usually could come up with a plan to "help."

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

60-100 math problems for homework over and above the math they already did at school? That is a lot!

My DD6 will be going into 1st grade in the fall and there is no way I would allow that. One of the reasons we HS is because they push too much too soon here. If my kid wanted to do that much math and she was pushing for it fine but mine isn't so no.

If the workload is too much maybe she should come home. If she is willing to learn to handle the work then keep her in school since she loves it there. What is she willing and able to do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, parent said:

 

A huge bonus in homeschooling is building family relationships rather than peer friendships.  I know friendships are important but it seems that they get out of balance and kids often value them more than family relationships.

I agree!  For more insight read:

Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Does she do all the homework in one sitting?  If so, I'd split that right up. For us, math was in the morning before school, spelling right after dinner, and reading before bed. I set a timer for spelling -- no dwadling counted as homework time. They learned to get 'er done as fast as possible...but it does require fluent handwriting.

Is there something she is feeling she is missing out on during the time she is doing homework?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here’s something else to think about:  In this school year, has your daughter developed a network of close girlfriends such that you could setup play dates with them next school year if you homeschool?

 If so, then you could have the best of both worlds with homeschooling. If not, then maybe the social aspect is not as important to her as you think. 

If playing barbies isn’t YOUR thing (it surely isn’t mine!) maybe you can spend time together doing something *you* like .... like cooking or baking or hiking in nature or whatever. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My kids went to a school like that and the homework got worse every year especially in 4th grade. My dd at that point had no free time because homework took too long. That was one of several reasons I decided to just homeschool. The reason I waited longer to decide to pull them was because I knew once I made the decision I could not go back because we could not get in again. 

Edited by MistyMountain

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm unclear from your post how many kids you have, their ages, and their schooling situations, but here are my thoughts.

First-- I have two kids, a girl and boy, two years apart.  We have always homeschooled and they have always been each other's company when we are not spending time with other families.  They don't always want to do the same thing especially now that they are 13 and 11, and that's fine.  But they have cultivated a good sibling relationship being schooled together at home.  

Second--  I may be a bad mother for this, but I do not play with my kids, except for family games sometimes and school related activities.  I do not play Barbies, cars, Legos, American Girl, etc.  I educate them and feed them and run this house and I just don't have time for that.  But they have always had plenty of free play time and as much time for friends as we could manage.  

Third-- my daughter especially has had to learn that life is not one big playdate, sorry.  She would love to see friends everyday but that's not logistically possible. We have always spent time with other homeschooling families with kids of different ages and genders.  When they were little, it was more often.  Now it is about once a week or every other week.  What i have seen over time is that my kids and other homeschooling kids are so flexible in who they hang out with, regardless of age or gender.  But public schooled kids get stuck in a box of wanting a same age/gender peer.  They won't "lower themselves" to play with a younger child.  It's sad, really.  Now that my kids are older, they see their friends at extracurricular activities, sometimes have a friend over or go to a friend's house, and FaceTime their friends when they can't see them in person.  This cannot happen logistically as much as my daughter would like, but that's life.  

Not knowing the situation with your other kids, I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes.  The school sounds wonderful during the day, but the homework for me would be a deal breaker.  I wouldn't keep her there just to get her social needs met, although it might be more work for you to arrange playdates and she might have to adjust her expectations of time with friends.  

Edited by kristin0713
typo
  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/21/2019 at 10:21 AM, SanDiegoMom in VA said:

Are any of her brothers close in age? Mine are boy girl twins and gender isn't as much an issue as compatibility.  They are each interested in very different things but they have to constantly compromise and take turns playing their top choice.  So in the early years they would play a board game or two and then my son would promise to play with stuffed animals for 45 minutes.  He sometimes got into it and sometimes looked INCREDIBLY board, but he knew that was the only way to get another board game!


I had a friend that was a boy when I was a kid.   We did that.  He'd play house with me as long as he always got to be the dad.   I'd play cars with him, but I would NOT make the car noises.   

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's way too much for first grade. I just wouldn't let her do it. I've known a lot of parents who just don't let their kids do homework in early elementary and I think that's totally fine and good. Do have her read as that's the one thing research shows makes a difference. If they kick her out, cross that bridge when you come to it. At least, that's what I would personally do. I mean, if they're really going to kick out a first grader who is doing fine in class for not doing worksheets, that's not a "good" school. And long term, not a place I'd personally be willing to allow my kids to be.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

One of my kids used to take about an hour a day for homework, not including reading, in the 1st grade.  That was how much time she needed to keep up with the class.  She did do it without any fuss most of the time.

I would not remove my kid over this when there are so many positives.

Some ideas:

  • Break up the homework times.  Before school, after snack, after sport / before bed.
  • Anything that can be done over the weekend or on a "slow day," do then.  If you can get the spelling list in advance, spread the writing over multiple days.
  • Use car time for practice - spelling (out loud), reading, math facts.
  • Let your daughter do some of the homework, and then outright help her on the rest.  (Like those math problems - talk through them and do them "with" her.)
  • Count read-alouds as reading time when needed to just get it done.  (Try to read more on the weekends to develop the skills.)  Also count watching DVDs with subtitles.
  • Test study - just read the text to her (preferably on non-school days), don't ask her to sit and study.  It doesn't sound like she is ready for that.  Maybe make some flash cards for vocabulary.
  • Don't expect perfection, and beware of making your daughter demand perfection of herself.
  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't pull her now if she wants to stay, there are only about eight weeks left in the school year! 

When did you switch to this school? She may still be in an adjustment period. 

Math: When she has 60-100 problems, are they actually like your example of 34-17 or did you just put random numbers? At the school I work at, it's not unusual for first-graders to have 50 math problems to solve at once, but they are either ones they should already know or ones that follow a pattern, to help develop fluency. Following a pattern simply means 10-9, 10-8, and so on. This is independent work in addition to the math lesson and corresponding work, and then homework on top of that. Your example is two-digit with borrowing and I would not expect young children to do large numbers of those quickly. 

Spelling:  Five minutes for that might be fast but thirty minutes seems quite slow. This is why I wonder how long she has been in the school - kids who have been writing a lot every day for months will be able to do this quickly, but if your dd started this semester it will be much harder for her. It still shouldn't take 30 minutes, though, so I'm wondering if she's simply overwhelmed? 

Work doubling next year: My take on this would be that there is a lot more work, yes, but not that they expect it to take twice as long to do. Students gain speed and fluency every year, especially when they are following the same study pattern.  

So there's a lot to sort out here. Thirty to forty-five minutes of homework is not that unusual and I would not anticipate the school changing this. Even an hour for homework and then some reading isn't insane, as that time will go down if and when your dd can handle it more calmly. Crying does waste a lot of time, lol. You have to try and gauge how much is her adjusting to the workload and schedule - it may improve quite a bit. I like some of the suggestions you've gotten: break up the homework, sit next to her, use a timer. You can also try different times; if she's doing it right after school, she might need more of a break. Other kids do well right after school and are too tired in the evening. You have to play around with it.  

Definitely use a timer to see how long the work, and only the work, is taking her. Stop the timer when she is dawdling, crying, asking random questions, and so forth. It might help her to not be overwhelmed if she can see that XYZ assignment is actually only going to take 15 minutes. Someone suggested this to me for household tasks and it was a big eye-opener. Looking at a mountain of dirty clothes is overwhelming but now that I know it actually only takes 15 minutes to sort them I just git-r-done. 

I would work on increasing her speed before going straight to pulling her out. I work with mixed grades in elementary, and I frequently see kids take forever to finish a certain type of assignment one day, only to finish it very quickly another day. When it's a sunny day and they will definitely be outside for recess, everyone's speed increases! 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's worth it to keep her in this school for the friendships and good education, and just figure this homework situation out.  Is she a morning person?  Maybe you could do the homework in the morning before school when she is fresh?  It took my dd half the time when she did homework in the morning as opposed to after school.

Also, how long has she been at this school?  My dd was in classical school for the first and only time in 8th grade, but it took her from August until February before she figured out the homework situation.  She eventually got most stuff done at school in free time and she rarely had a ton of homework any more.  Since your dd is little, it might take her longer and require a lot of trouble-shooting from you, but it sounds like it's worth it.  She needs little girl friends, and it is a good school where she is learning.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder if the technique I used to get my kiddo to do work in homeschool without crying (as much...there was still some times of frustration) would work for your daughter on her homework.

So, we did our entire school in play school (pretty much).   He had toys that would play students, and I would teach as a toy (usually a dinosaur...later a lego person or transformer).  BUT, the lessons were real lessons.   Maybe doing homework in "play school" would be motivating for her.    Or having a puppet or something helping her with homework. 

Sometimes just fun pens and pencils can make a difference (a bendy pencil kept got my kid interested in writing for a while).  Or, if your child could do writing on a dry erase board or magnet board, sometimes something as simple as that helps (and a teacher might be willing to accept pictures of that e-mailed in). 

For the poem, I suggest recording it and listening to it in the car.   Or ask if she can be assigned the poem early enough that you can work on it on the weekend some to cut down on time (that could work with other homework too...if they don't usually assign weekend homework, maybe if you can get the homework on Friday in stead of Monday, some of it could be done on the weekend cutting down the nightly homework).   Also, something that can work is for her to help YOU memorize the poem first.   While she's helping you memorize she'll be learning it too (when I helped friends in drama memorize their lines I always ended up knowing them as well as they did), but it won't really feel like she's doing the work cause she's just helping you by checking to see if you got it right.   Then at the end of the week have her see if she can memorize it.

Also, I suggest doing any rote studying (ie, quizzing) while jumping on the bed or a trampoline (we did a certain number of jumps between each question).    And I suggest breaking up the homework with short games of tag...basically, go until she starts to get frustrated, and then play a game of tag to reset.  Brain research shows exercise helps you think.   Also have snacks on the table when you do homework.   Another brain research thing.   Thinking actually takes energy, and snacks can help.  

 

Edited by goldenecho
  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/21/2019 at 10:25 AM, Janeway said:

She ends up crying so much over the home work anymore. And, the teacher has us filling out on a sheet how long each portion of home work takes. In this past week, I wrote that the 10 words that had to be copied 5 times each and given markings on each word for things, took a half hour (that is only about 30 seconds a word) I was told if she cannot handle this, things will be very difficult next year. They said it should have taken her 5 minutes total for that portion (which would have been 6 seconds per word, copied and marked). There are also between 60-100 math problems daily. These math problems, for 1st grade, are to the effect of 34-17, done over and over again. Each page is pretty much the same kind of problem done over and over again. That is supposed to take up to ten minutes. It does not. I hear from other parents that they are having big trouble too, but they feel like they just have to deal with it. On top of this, there is supposed to be reading time, studying for tests, and/or memorizing a poem. There is a weekly poem. So every day ends with her crying hysterically over it now.

 

What happens if she doesn't do the homework?

My DS's school sends home homework starting in K. I thought it was ridiculous. I told him if the incentive offered in school (extra postive-reinforcement behavior goodies) was enough to motivate him, to go ahead, but that we wouldn't make him do it. I sent letters to the teachers in K and 1st to that effect. 

He generally did the homework anyway.

The first part of 2nd grade, he didn't do homework for most of the first semester, and when he did, would forget to turn it in (2nd grade they were expected to turn it into a box, instead of teacher going through backpacks to find the homework folders). It had no effect on his grades at all. Since he does homework without a fuss usually, we helped him get better organized with reminders, etc.

If this classical school is a charter, they are probably required to test for LD's if you demand it. Given the current homework drama, in your shoes (given my experience with a charter school with DD in 6th grade where I wish we'd done some things differently), I would write a letter demanding testing ASAP. It sounds like the reality is, the homework is not developmentally appropriate for 1st grade. But, this could be the first sign of problems which are best addressed sooner rather than later, so you are covering your bases. If they kick your DD out over an IEP, you could maybe sue them (seek legal counsel from an education law expert on that; I'm just speaking as a parent). 😏

"There are others who would like your spot" is an extremely unhealthy and shortsighted response to parental concerns. It might be true, but it isn't right.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, Ravin said:

 

What happens if she doesn't do the homework?

 

OP said she will be held in from recess to do it. 

  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
41 minutes ago, Ravin said:

 

What happens if she doesn't do the homework?

My DS's school sends home homework starting in K. I thought it was ridiculous. I told him if the incentive offered in school (extra postive-reinforcement behavior goodies) was enough to motivate him, to go ahead, but that we wouldn't make him do it. I sent letters to the teachers in K and 1st to that effect. 

He generally did the homework anyway.

The first part of 2nd grade, he didn't do homework for most of the first semester, and when he did, would forget to turn it in (2nd grade they were expected to turn it into a box, instead of teacher going through backpacks to find the homework folders). It had no effect on his grades at all. Since he does homework without a fuss usually, we helped him get better organized with reminders, etc.

If this classical school is a charter, they are probably required to test for LD's if you demand it. Given the current homework drama, in your shoes (given my experience with a charter school with DD in 6th grade where I wish we'd done some things differently), I would write a letter demanding testing ASAP. It sounds like the reality is, the homework is not developmentally appropriate for 1st grade. But, this could be the first sign of problems which are best addressed sooner rather than later, so you are covering your bases. If they kick your DD out over an IEP, you could maybe sue them (seek legal counsel from an education law expert on that; I'm just speaking as a parent). 😏

"There are others who would like your spot" is an extremely unhealthy and shortsighted response to parental concerns. It might be true, but it isn't right.

 

Her spelling words are to the effect of words like television (1st grade). And she has to write each word 5 times and make phonics markings on each word. I actually did her home work tonight (I know, I am terrible). I only did part of it..the writing part. I left her to the math. The writing portion still took me, an adult, almost 10 minutes to do it and I admit that my hand kind of hurt by the end. I hated doing it and did not feel there was much academic purpose writing each word 5 times and making all those markings on each of five words. She spent about an hour doing the math, but it was supposed to be a two day assignment. She is actually capable and earning A's on the tests and such so she can handle the level of work, even though it seems rather advanced. It is the volume of work that is an issue. It really makes me wonder what the day is like. 

 

I was not suggesting pulling her out this year. I am just trying to pick a class for my son who home schools to take for next year and they fill up fast so if she is going to be home, I would need to register her. But I am really on the fence. She did not start to get upset over all this until a few weeks ago. Maybe once she has had a long summer break, she will be excited to get going again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/25/2019 at 6:23 PM, Janeway said:

Her spelling words are to the effect of words like television (1st grade). And she has to write each word 5 times and make phonics markings on each word. I actually did her home work tonight (I know, I am terrible). I only did part of it..the writing part. I left her to the math. The writing portion still took me, an adult, almost 10 minutes to do it and I admit that my hand kind of hurt by the end. I hated doing it and did not feel there was much academic purpose writing each word 5 times and making all those markings on each of five words. She spent about an hour doing the math, but it was supposed to be a two day assignment. She is actually capable and earning A's on the tests and such so she can handle the level of work, even though it seems rather advanced. It is the volume of work that is an issue. It really makes me wonder what the day is like. 

 

I was not suggesting pulling her out this year. I am just trying to pick a class for my son who home schools to take for next year and they fill up fast so if she is going to be home, I would need to register her. But I am really on the fence. She did not start to get upset over all this until a few weeks ago. Maybe once she has had a long summer break, she will be excited to get going again.

 

Maybe tell the teacher that, just to encourage your daughter, you wrote out the words too (you wouldn't have to say you wrote them for her) and tell her it took you 10 minutes, not 5.    I would ask if your child could type out the words in stead of writing them, then print them and mark them up...say you feel like your child has good handwriting and want your child to practice her typing?  Or, alternatively, ask if you can have your child copy and mark up the words only twice, and then sign off daily that you've quizzed her orally on the words, or done the words with sign language, or traced the words in a sand tray,  as you feel doing multiple methods of practice would be more helpful for your child, but don't want her spending more time on this since it takes her so long to write them out.  Say that if her spelling tests don't continue to stay at As with the new method, that you will go back to the old, but you would like to try out some alternative methods of practicing that are less tedious and frustrating for your child.

 

 

Edited by goldenecho

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is also possible that the homework will be less next year.  I find that it is largely teacher-specific, and also, many schools are trending toward less homework.

Have you asked if you could get the assignments (or some, like the spelling words) in advance?

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We'll, of you want to homeschool I would. Mine is not the only of her gender, but the only of her age. My olders are in high school. She's in preK. She'll be doing most of her school years while they are away at college. Both are already busy with extra curricular part time jobs and friends.

At this point, I'm still planning on homeschooling her. I'll have more time to devote to taking her to activities that interest her and playdates or setting up group learning arrangements with others if needed. Right now, at her age, she's do young that she lives one on one attention from any of us and enjoys playing with neighbor kids and little siblings at her sisters' activities. I've managed to meet their needs as they've come up and I have faith Good will help me with what I need for this one. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...