Would you/do let your 12yo dd wear makeup?

[Danestress]

Lip gloss actually serves a purpose - which is to keep lips from drying up.

 

I see such young girls with nail polish, and that seems more adult to me. But I don't have little girls. I imagine if I had a 12 year old, I'd let her use clear lip gloss. I'm not sure what the arguments against it would be.

[Pamela H in Texas]

As a preteen, my daughter wore a little bit of make up, more around the house than anything. Anything could be veto'd by me if we were going out in public, but it wasn't really necessary. In time, she grew out of the interest. In the past year, she's worn make up ONCE.

[Sharon in SC]

I would put in non-colored lip gloss, light shades of finger nail polish, bath oils, body wash, face scrubs, lotion... No eye shadow, mascara. I just think 12 is too young for make up, imo.

 

Janet

 

:iagree: This is basically what my 12yo does.

[chaik76]

Maybe I should have clarified...I didn't mean foundations, eye liners, mascara (she hates it anyway after the ordeal we had for her dance recital), blush. The eye shadow I have (from one of my coupon deals at CVS :D) is very, very light colors like vanilla, pink and a tanish color (barely noticeable). She is a beautiful girl w/out makeup. When I was in 8th grade, my mother gave me permission to wear makeup...whatever I wanted...w/out any sort of "tutorial" on how to wear it "correctly". The end result? Do we have a clown smiley? Yep, I ended up wearing neon blue mascara, blue eye liner, blue eye shadow, dark pink blush and lipstick. Blech.. I shudder to even think of it. My mother never said a word about how horrible I looked. Probably b/c she was never very conscious of what colors went well together or w/ what type of skin/hair. So, picture this pale skinned, freckled, red-head wearing all those colors. :lol: Are you laughing yet? Anyway, I vowed that if I had a little girl, I'd teach her how to apply and wear make-up appropriately b/c I never learned until I was married and in my 20s...at least the neon blue phase died out after the 80s. :lol:

 

Anyway, thanks for the opinions. I think I'm going w/ the pale lip glosses, nail polishes and accessories and some of the body washes. I'm not sure on the eye shadow yet.

I think this sounds really good! And I'm glad you're showing her how to make things work...this is something I still have a problem with, though I wear makeup very infrequently.

[MrsMe]

I would put in non-colored lip gloss, light shades of finger nail polish, bath oils, body wash, face scrubs, lotion... No eye shadow, mascara. I just think 12 is too young for make up, imo.

 

Janet

 

 

Ditto to Janet!!!! Even 12 is way too young for lip gloss in my opinion, but even my 8 yr old wants it. (sigh)

[Aubrey]

Well...my oldest is a 7yo boy. So take what I have to say w/ a grain of salt.

 

If she were *asking* to wear it, I'd say go for it. At that age (maybe any age), I think it's important to say yes as much as you can, so that they hear the no's, kwim? Choose your battles & all that.

 

But if this is for a gift basket...yeah, maybe. *Maybe.* Based on the mild descriptions, vanilla-ish eyeshadow & clear-ish lip gloss...maybe. I could see something pro-active like that really being a good hedge against future rebellion or make-up wanting-ness. (Yes, I make up words to fit where necessary or convenient, lol!)

 

Over all...I think I'd do it, given your stated parameters. Really sweet gift, btw.

[Kimberly in IN]

My oldest dd is 9.5 and she just loves to have lip gloss, eye shadow and nail polish. She only wants to wear lip gloss and eye shadow at certain times, dressy occasions, hanging w/ certain girly friends, etc. She really does like to have her nails done all of the time. Her lip gloss is clear and her eye shadow is pale pink. She truly applies it quite well, very light. You don't realize she had it on, but it does change how she looks. kwim. That being said, she is Chinese and has a darker skin tone. The colors she wears really compliment her skin tone. I don't see neon blue in her immediate future. Also, have no idea how she learned so young to apply make -up so skillfully. Not from me.

 

After saying all of that, she is quite into sports, especially ice hockey so make-up just isn't much of a priority. She just likes to wear it when she wants (very rarely) so we allow it. She feels like she is growing up and most people can't even tell she is wearing anything.

[Laura in VA]

No....no....no....never!!!!

 

12 year olds are still little girls. Playing dress up is one thing, but makeup.....well over her father's dead body.

 

pqr, you and my husband think alike ;). However, I must add that I think it really depends on the girl. Some 12 year-old girls are "younger" than others. My dd wears a little lip gloss (not the really shiny kind) occasionally.

[katilac]

My girls are 8 & 10 and have been wearing lip gloss . . . forever, pretty much. They wear whatever colors they want, provided we're not going to, say, church or a nice dinner out. Homeschool group? Knock yourself out with that hideously bright pink, girlfriend!

 

I'd certainly allow a 12 yr old lip gloss and powder for daily wear, lip stick and eyeshadows for parties and what-not. Wouldn't think twice about it, really. I'd discourage foundation if she has clear skin, just because it can cause skin issues (and young, clear skin is so beautiful). If she had an uneven complexion and wanted to use foundation, I'd allow it.

 

I'll even put some powder and light eyeshadow on them for going to weddings and such. You can't even see it, and they think it's fabulous.

 

I rarely wear makeup now myself, but I can certainly remember wearing LOTS in the tween/teen years!

[Kim in Appalachia]

and she likes lip glosses. She tried some when her 14 year old sister got some make-up. I would suggest some flavored lip gloss. If the company still exists, try Hard Candy. Google the name (They were having an unbelievable sale not to long ago, which made me think they were going out of business. They sell make-up, and they have the cutest lip gloss. I got my dd one that looks like a lolly pop. My dd also likes nail polish. Salley Beauty sells some that is free of the really bad chemicals (I can't think of the names of all of the bad stuff right now). Anyway, the nail polish is nice and not expensive. My dd also likes nice creams and body washes. You could pack everything in a cute little case, like the ones they sell at Walmart.

[Annabel Lee]

I don't like to control that sort of thing too much, because ultimately its not that important, and it turns something small into something big.

I wouldn't even call lip gloss make up, and if some lip gloss is all she wants, I just cant imagine why anyone would be so frightened of what that "means" as to forbid it. itis a natural part of growing up to want to play with that sort of thing.

My dd is 14 and chooses to wear make up now. I don't forbid it because I don't want to micromanage her life for her. She is mature enough to make decisions like that. She has told me many times she is so grateful I am like I am with her. She feels free to be herself. If she wore very provocative clothing I would set some boundaries, but she doesn't. She has an amazing fashion sense that she certianly didnt inherit form me.

Life is too short to make a deal out of something that is just a bit of fun. It is not just one short step from lip gloss to sexual promiscuity, which seems to be some peoples' fear.

 

:iagree:

My 12 yo dd is allowed very sheer lipgloss, any color of nail polish (thought I do prefer her to use Zoya or other formaldehyde-free brands - she usually has a rainbow of colors at any one time), and her sheer glittery eyeshadow stick - it's clear with irridescent clear little glitters, so it definately looks more little girly than grown up. She's been begging for mascara and since we have ultra-blonde lashes I decided she can get some clear mascara just to help them show up a bit more (gives lashes a wet look, just slightly darker than natural). I allow her to wear concealer for her acne. So far that's all she's been interested in. As long as she isn't trying to (or accidentally) convey negative messages to others about herself by her appearance, it's all good. :D

[angela in ohio]

I offered to buy my 12 yo sheer colored lip gloss a few months ago when we were at the mall. I said I knew that the other girls at church wore it, and it was okay if she wanted to, too. She said, "No, they look silly running to the bathroom to put on lipgloss all the time." So, yes, I was willing to let her (I don't consider lip gloss make-up,) and no, I don't think I'll be fighting her on the make-up thing, LOL. :)

[Joanne]

I'm with Peela and Arcticmom.

 

I don't think wearning makeup is a gateway to unacceptable *behavior*, morals or accelerates sexual maturity.

 

Yes, rite of passage. My dd gets to wear blush, mascara and lip gloss. We made a special trip to the store for make-up, feminine supplies and a special personal holder to carry them in her purse, and finally an electric razor. She also got her first cell phone for her birthday. She is officially a (almost) teen now.

 

P.S. She also got Webkinz so I guess she not quite all grown up yet.

 

:iagree: This is a perfect juxtaposition. Wearing makeup and playing "little kid" games. My dd will be 12 in a couple of weeks. She has a few make up items she rarely wears but has total access to.

[Kimber]

I'd allow it, maybe. But I can't really say because my daughter is almost 11, but isn't interested. She has only brothers, so she is a bit of a fragile, book-wormish, tom-boy. If there is such a thing.

 

What I plan to do, is to put my daughter on a cleaning routine. I think that would make her feel lady-like and would set up good habits for later in life. Like lotions, sun-screen, and a routine of facial care, if that makes any sense?

 

But I haven't done this yet, so who knows when it'll happen or how.

[Just Me]

I haven't read all the replies, although I have read enough to realize I am going to be in the minority, a bit!

 

My 12 year old wears lip "gloss" - which is more like a glorified chapstick. But she is getting mascara in her stocking this year. She has big, beautiful eyes, and we tried some on her a few weeks ago to try to tame those curly lashes. And she loved it! The mascara keeps her lashes from curling into her eyes. I bought clear, and hopefully this will tame the make-up monster for her for a while.

 

Other than that, though, she wears no make-up. And has never asked to. So we'll have to see when we finally cave in. I do remember putting make-up on for the first time as a teen. My mother was against it, but my dad told her to let me try it. Go figure - my dad was very cool!

[Laura R (FL)]

I'm with Peela and Arcticmom.

 

I don't think wearning makeup is a gateway to unacceptable *behavior*, morals or accelerates sexual maturity.

 

 

 

I don't, either. My 12 1/2 yo dd wears make-up once in a while and is a very conservative socially/morally young lady. She just likes pretty things. She wears lip gloss a lot and has painted her nails for a looooong time now. She has light face powder, mascara, and very light eyeshadow, but doesn't wear them very often...usually only for going out to the ballet, maybe the movies or a nice dinner. I think prohibiting her from wearing make-up if she wanted to would make it a forbidden fruit and a big deal. :)

 

Now my 14yo never wears make-up except for black nail polish. :P She's not rebellious, either. ;)

 

Ohh..come to think of it, I have an 11yo 2nd cousin in rural GA who is in all sorts of beauty pageants and does very well. Her dad is a beautician and he makes sure that she never goes out in public without a full face of heavy make-up. It looks pretty strange to me and she looks about 16-17. This is definitely a case of too much make-up too soon. I've often wondered what that will do to her sexuality since she seems to carry herself like an object of sorts. But it's not just the make-up, it's the whole emphasis on the physical. It's not a dig on make-up or pageants, it's just the dysfunctionality of this particular family.

Edited November 22, 2008 by Laura R (FL)
wanted to add...

[LauraGB]

I don't like to control that sort of thing too much, because ultimately its not that important, and it turns something small into something big.

I wouldn't even call lip gloss make up, and if some lip gloss is all she wants, I just cant imagine why anyone would be so frightened of what that "means" as to forbid it. itis a natural part of growing up to want to play with that sort of thing.

My dd is 14 and chooses to wear make up now. I don't forbid it because I don't want to micromanage her life for her. She is mature enough to make decisions like that. She has told me many times she is so grateful I am like I am with her. She feels free to be herself. If she wore very provocative clothing I would set some boundaries, but she doesn't. She has an amazing fashion sense that she certianly didnt inherit form me.

Life is too short to make a deal out of something that is just a bit of fun. It is not just one short step from lip gloss to sexual promiscuity, which seems to be some peoples' fear.

 

I agree w/Peela here. I think the important thing is to teach her how to wear it well, not to simply prevent her from wearing it. My father was absolutely crazy about not allowing me to wear even so much as clear nail polish until I was sixteen...I put my makeup on on the bus on the way to school and made darn sure I took it off on the bus on the way home, lol. I think if he would have been less controlling and more realistic, I would not have even felt like I wanted to put it on in the first place (just my character, I suppose).

[Jean in Wisc]

My dd is turning 12 on Saturday. She's been asking recently to be allowed to wear a little makeup...clear/light colored lip glosses mainly. I was wondering what the Hive thought about make-up for a 12yo. She is still so "young" in so many ways and certainly no interested in boys at all (that I can tell). I just don't want her to grow up too fast and yet I don't want to keep her a little girl forever either, KWIM? I'm asking this question b/c I'm putting together a little "beauty basket" for her for Christmas and was curious what to include. I have some nail polishes and nail gems (she love nail polish), some very light color or clear lip glosses and I'm wondering what else to include? Light colored eye shadow? Too much? Perhaps a new hair brush, some girly body washes, etc.? Any suggestions? Thanks.

 

Absolutely! Being a girl is fun! Exchanging the Blistick in her pocket for a small tube of something shiny is going to make her feel pretty--and what is the big deal?

 

My daughter very slowly started wearing the 1st touches of make-up outside the home at around that age: 1st some lip gloss--A small finger-applied container at the bottom of her Christmas stocking with just a clear gloss. We added a facial routine when the pimples started, including a sunscreen with a very light tint of color to it--not visible to anyone but the one who knew it was on, but she loved it! I shared what I did with make-up--a touch of blush once in a while or a very light, nicely added touch of eye-liner when we were getting ready together in front of the mirror when she was a little older...step by step, just a little bit added each year, letting the child experiment with make-up while in house, but not allowing her to wear much of it outside the home (it was like dress-up play that they did when they were younger and it made us both happy). We bought a few of those books that are about make-up and beauty that match my idea of what a woman should look like. We always poured over the books that had the natural looks and tried to figure out what would work best on us. Over the years (dd's now 20), we've had a lot of fun doing minimal make-up, and our goal is to try to "fix" as much as we can without people "seeing" the make-up. I recall her coming to me and asking, "Do you think I have make-up on today?" Just fun.

 

Go for it. Have fun. At least, that is what we did, and my dd has a very nice perspective of do's and don't's of make-up. I think if I had told her, "No way! you don't get that now," she would have been more interested in piling the make-up on when she finally got to wear it...but then I have a very strong-willed child, and playing the game of learning how to wear make-up together was fun and I was determined not to make it a point of contention.

 

Grandma would get free bags of Este Lauder(sp?) make-up (comes with being a regular customer I guess). Anything grandma didn't want was handed to her only granddaugher, my child. I let her play with it all she wanted when she wasn't going anywhere and then we'd watch her brothers screeech at her bright red lips and purple eye shadow. LOL! It was one of those hills I was not willing to die on. I can't see anything but good that came out of it.

 

FWIW,

Jean

[Tammy]

nt

[cillakat]

absolutely! I'd totally allow it. My parents had all sorts of ridiciulous rules about makeup and, honestly, all it taught me was to get very good at sneaking things when I wasn't around them.

 

It was a bad dynamic for them to set up and they shouldn't have done it.

 

imo lipgloss and mascara are fine. not heavy eye makeup....

 

K

[Guest janainaz]

I'd be ok with clear lipgloss and that is probably it. I would say no until 13/14 and keep it minimal.

[fivetails]

The mascara keeps her lashes from curling into her eyes.

 

Are her eyelashes really long? My dd11 has crazy long eyelashes and she's the only person I've ever seen manage to get her eyelashes down and INTO her eye - she came running to me one day yelling that she had "something in (her) eye" and that's exactly what it was...her own eyelashes folded down from the top and tucked under the bottom lid part. I'd never seen the likes! :001_huh:

[Titus.Two.Five]

CLEAR lip gloss at 12....wouldn't bother me. Make up, colored lip gloss etc...no way. :001_smile: Super pale pink or peach nail polish, ok.

[Lolly]

At twelve, my dd's received simple makeup. Lightly tinted lipgloss, barely pink blush, some facial powder, clear mascara (yep!), and concealer (12 yos get acne they want to hide). It makes them feel good, and you can barely tell they are wearing it. At 13, one of my dd's needed to go to a base also to help hide her acne. We purchased the whole makeup kit for her that Proactive carries. It was a lifesaver for her during a difficult time. When she had her makeup on, you could barely tell how bad her skin was.

[JFSinIL]

I would put in non-colored lip gloss, light shades of finger nail polish, bath oils, body wash, face scrubs, lotion... No eye shadow, mascara. I just think 12 is too young for make up, imo.

 

Janet

 

This is what both my girls have used at that age. My now-15 yr-old started with some eye shadow/mascara about age 13 - 14. She does it well - we have an agreement that if I can tell she is wearing it it is on too heavy....point being to enhance her natural beauty, not look like she troweled on the make-up. It can take a girl a couple years of messing about with the stuff to figure out what looks best on her, so i do nto mind her using it as a teen.

[Audrey]

I don't have a daughter, but I very politely asked my mother if I could wear make-up starting around age 12. I was getting acne and wanted to be able to cover it up a bit, plus lip gloss was a huge trend back then (I guess it still is!)

 

We talked about it and my mom said she respected that I asked maturely, without whining, and that I had a real reason. So.... we agreed on cover stick or foundation to help cover the acne, and we also agreed on lip gloss and a single coat of mascara (I have super short eyelashes, like my mom, and she understood that handicap). I don't think I ever wore much more than that all the way through high school, with the exception of a cute lipstick on a special occasion every now and then.

 

She taught me how to apply things herself, and helped me pick the right shade of cover for me. I don't remember there being tinted lip gloss back then -- mostly fruit flavoured things -- but even that can look bad if done too heavy.

 

I think I looked nice, and I felt better about the skin problems, too, which helped some confidence. It's very hard being a young teen -- so much keeps changing about your body and your looks from one month to the next. Everyone gets self-conscious at that stage, and rude peers never help. :001_rolleyes:

 

I think people sometimes view make-up on girls with that kind of "madonna/whore" syndrome perspective. It does not have to be one extreme or another. I was so grateful to have an understanding, yet lovingly strict mom. It is possible to have a balance between the two.

Edited November 22, 2008 by Audrey

[TravelingChris]

Both of my girls wear lip gloss. The younger one (12 next month) wears vey light pink or non-colored stuff but that looks right on her anyway. The older one wears darker lip gloss because she hates pink and deeper colors look better with her coloring. They wear it because they have really dry lips and this helps. They both have fingernails painted at times since they both chew their nails and want to stop. They don't chew painted nails. They both dress conservatively, act conservatively, and are not boy crazy or anything like that. My girls have also been in plays and also don't want to go the whole makeup routine. For special events, my older might put on some foundation. It isn't an issue here.

[Kari C in SC]

My rule is age 13. That was the rule I grew up with and the same rule my mom grew up with. My dd is 10 now and already asking why we have such a "dumb" rule. I just tell her that I survived and her grandma survived. There is no discussion - it is plain and simple a rule. When she is 13, I will get her some appropriate make-up as a birthday gift.

[CLHCO]

My daughters are 14 and they only wear some cover-up for their acne. When they perform on stage I sometimes have them wear very light make-up on their eyes, maybe a touch of very pale color on the lips, (very pale - I chose the colors carefully for the purpose), but to tell you the truth, they don't really like it much.

 

I would think some flavored lip balm for fun, but I admit I wouldn't encourage much more than that regularly. It's up to you though. I understand a young girls' desire to look "pretty". It is possible for a young girl to wear a bit of make-up and still look young when coached right on shades. There are other options if you want to allow more without getting her anything that would mature her beyond her age. They sell clear mascara, very light toned eye shadows - really, not much difference in color than skin tone, etc.

[E_Edgerton]

I see nothing wrong with that. I had clear mascara, nail polishes, and lip gloss (clear and soft pinks) at that age. I never felt like I had to wear it or that I was less attractive without it. I think it is still just fun at that age. As far as what to put in her 'beauty basket'...I would do clear mascara, fun lip glosses in different flavors, some nail polish in fun colors (pinks, blues, greens, yellow) hair accessories, maybe a nice smelling lotion. All these things can be completely age appropriate and just fun for to experiment with. I think the key is to stress that it is about fun, not "making yourself beautiful" because of course she already is!:)

[HSMom2One]

Lip gloss is fine in my humble opinion, but beyond that I think make up should be saved for being just a bit older.

 

I have a friend who took her daughter to a nice store to have a facial and instructions on how to correctly apply makeup, curl her eye lashes, etc. They did this on her birthday when the daughter turned 14. They had lunch out, went shopping, etc. It was kind of a rite of passage thing and was very special. I thought this was a wonderful idea and plan to do the same for my dd when she is that age.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[PameliaSue]

I think 12 is too young for noticeably altering makeup. It would be fun to start teaching her about skin care though. Things like moisturizing, blemish control and sun screen. Lip gloss seems alright to me. I think it has a lot to do with the child and the subject isn't just black and white,