Teaching elderly parents about their new cell phone?

[Chris in VA]

My parents are 85 and 86. Dad is brilliant, but doesn't quite seem to grasp the internet and his computer. And he has a "biscuit" for wifi, so it's really slow.

Sil gave them a Pixel 3. I am hoping it helps them get on the internet and be able to enjoy googling things, shopping online, etc.--the things that would make their lives so much easier. They were, for example, in a tizzy last year because they forward all their mail to FL when they go down as snowbirds for 3 months. The post office lost some of it, and they didn't get their bills on time. They couldn't send checks to pay them. Yeah. So I am hoping they can see how wonderful it is and how freeing, to pay bills online, to not have to send checks, and also to keep up with our travels. Even emailing is a strain a bit--because just getting on Dad's laptop takes forever for him, and Mom doesn't know how. 

So they have this new phone, and 2Gs of data. Now, I hope I don't sound critical, above (ok, I know I am), because I, myself, don't know a lot about this sort of stuff, although I've blogged, am here and on FB, and have learned thru the years how to do most of what I need. 

Questions: How do I help them figure things out long-distance? Does their type of phone come preloaded with some apps they can use to get on the internet right away? They are having someone come over to show them some things. My dad is a little confused by google and really started using a computer just for word processing, and never really made the leap to surfing the web. He kind of seems to confuse an operating system with a word processing type system. IDK. I can't explain it. 

Another example--My mom asked if they could use google to help them find an apt to rent next year in FL for a month. Like, she really didn't know if you could or not. She sounds excited by the possibilities and is still a very quick learner, if only someone could help. 

[Lawana]

In my experience it is not likely to be very successful to accomplish long distance. Even in person has its challenges. I don’t know how many times I have shown my 83 yo mother how to use her phone for navigation, but it doesn’t stick. It’s like she has a block against it. 

In case anyone wonders, instruction has included going super slow, writing down the steps, repetion, having her do it multiple times in my presence, suggesting she practice when she goes to already familiar places, but it just doesn’t take. 

[Lanny]

First and most importantly, look on the AARP web site for free courses about how to use a SMART phone. I think they have both online courses and in-person (in certain cities) courses. Years ago, when we had Fox News Channel, I saw "Extras" about that, when the viewers in the USA were getting commercials.  

Regarding WiFi. I have no idea what a "Biscuit" is but they should have good Internet access.   2 GB on a phone can go really fast...  Tuesday morning, I went for an eye exam and was using Data for Navigation and other things and while I was there, the Gardener was here and cut our Fiber Optic Cable. when cutting the Grass.  Our Internet service (and landline phone) was restored last night, which was Wednesday.  Well, I used approximately 650 MB of Data and I wasn't viewing videos or other heavy things, that are large consumers of Data.  

A Pixel is a phone made/sold by Google?  If so, it should have a very "pure" version of the Android OS and be even easier to use than our Motorola Moto phones. So, it should be much easier for them to learn how to use, than, for example, a Samsung Android phone.

We are heavy users of WhatsApp for Messaging.  You might use that to communicate with them either via Voice or by Messaging.  It is free...

When I first got an Android phone, I bought the book, "Android Phones for Dummies" and I have been through it a couple of times.

The bottom line is they first need to learn the basics: How to turn it on and off. How to make and receive phones calls. How to send text messages (SMS) and how to send messages via an App such as WhatsApp.   As they need/want to do things they can learn how to do those things.  One Step at a Time...

 

 

[Pen]

I have a same age range parent and aunt and uncle we are close to.

It’s really hard to do that— and even harder if you don’t have the same gizmo yourself to lead them exactly, step by step over the phone.

 

It is also harder, much harder, if they have physical problems such as arthritis, loss of sensation in fingertips or have close-up vision difficulties. 

The best would be someone there who can get them started on the basics in person.

Someone who will go slow, and really show it—and maybe write down steps, then have them do it. Not someone who will rapidly do it, while muttering “just click ... and it’s done. Easy.” 

If it must be long distance: 

Then two things I would start with in whichever order you and they think best:

A good start either way would be learning how to turn it on, and go onto WiFi, so they don’t use up more data than necessary.

1) Then how to do a google search and open something found, and how to use You Tube.  

Use Google search and You Tube as ways to learn about the pixel use.

If they can get on WiFi and assuming that the pixel has internet and google abilities, on WiFi, somewhere that they won’t use their data allowance up and have fast enough service to get You Tube, I would have them go onto You Tube and watch videos showing how to do various things they want to do especially if you yourself can find what looks like a good video to direct them to, so they aren’t having to evaluate multiple unhelpful videos.

  This gives some digital in person instruction.  And on Google searches sometimes clear instructions with pictures.

Even better (and especially if close up vision is a problem) if they can get You Tube and Google search instructions on big computer screen and be able to watch that simultaneously with trying to do _____ on the cellphone, that would be way way better than having to see the video or read the instructions and remember them long enough to then do the steps on the same device. 

 Being able to look up how to do something themselves like this may be a direct help — and help them feel more confident. 

But as well, they could be looking on their end and you on yours at the same instructions which could help for long distance guidance.

2) even  if they have not yet got these things mastered, work on text messages, email, phone calls, one at a time in order you (or they) consider to be most important. 

 

You can go in either order, and most people would put number 2 first, but if there is a pictorial instruction available it may help a lot even with basics like making or answering a phone call. 

(And if they have some one coming in person, how to basically use internet and do a google search and get a you tube is something I would want the in person tutor to teach them... )  

In addition, I don’t know what the cost of a Pixel 3 is, but if it wouldn’t be the end of the world for something to happen to it, I recommend telling them to think like a child and just enjoy playing on it— click here and there and experiment. (Though not where they could accidentally make an international call and be charged for it).   A lot can be learned by clicking here and there and seeing what happens.  And at this point when it presumably isn’t linked to bank accounts or any sensitive data they have there isn’t much that can go terribly wrong beyond the device itself or using up all their data accidentally which I’d call a learning experience. 

 

Edited December 13, 2018 by Pen

[Lanny]

Follow-on:   I would like to reemphasize  the desirability of them having really good Internet in their house or apartment so they can truly enjoy using the Internet.

An Android phone will use WiFi if it is available. If not, it will use Data.  

NOTE: After the Gardener cut our Fiber Optic Cable 2 days ago, we had WiFi but no Internet connection. I couldn't access the Internet via Data in my phone until I turned off the WiFi in the phone. The phone saw that we had WiFi so did not switch to Data.  

I would stress to them the importance of using strong passwords for important (bank, PayPal, etc) web sites. They can use the Free version of LastPass to keep track of their passwords. Every web site they need a password for should have a unique password.  

[itsheresomewhere]

Perhaps you could hire a person to show them how as your present to them.   Not a fan of Best Buy usually but they do offer this.  We got three sessions for our elderly relative and it came with a few phone sessions.  Best money to have spent as they needed one on one and group lessons that were free weren’t going to cut it.

Edited December 13, 2018 by itsheresomewhere

[Ann.without.an.e]

I have no answers.  The last we spoke with them, my in laws have never had a computer or internet or smart phones, etc.  The funny thing is, my MIL did get a flip phone several years ago and she frustrated us all because, in the rare circumstance that she needed to make a call, she would power it on and then power it right back off.  You literally couldn't return her calls or call her on it. 🤦‍♀️

[Miss Tick]

They have to want to. Making them use the phone is like  trying to homeschool an unwilling teenager.

Best to do it in person, even if that means they hold the phones and don't activate them for a while. Do be mindful of return policy deadlines, though.

The phone I got for my mom had an "accessibility" setting that made things larger and less cluttered. I had to be looking at the phone to know that, though. Also that feature came with the (unadvertised) drawback that some parts of web pages got cut off. When I saw her 6 months later she had like 400 internet pages open, because with that setting she couldn't see the "tabs" button. 

I made sure she and I have very similar phones so that I could talk her through issues. That has worked about 70% of the time. 

Using email on our phones is a little glitchy. Every couple of years I have to disconnect my email account and reconnect it in order to reset memory usage problems. When she had that problem, before calling me she tried taking it to a store front to see if they could help her. There are so many phones out there, they looked at hers and then just said she needed a new one. Happily she called me first and I was able to talk her through the issue. All this to say that finding local help may not be as easy as we wish!

My mom is a bit younger than your parents, but once we got her going, she has been using it happily and relatively trouble-free for years now. I knew we were over the hump when she and a friend used it for a scavenger hunt in their town. 😁

[Miss Tick]

Oh, and my dad, who spent his career and post-retirement working with computers, has refused all efforts to get him a smartphone. Flip phone is apparently his limit.

[wintermom]

If a large item like a laptop is slow and challenging for your dad, I would guess that a small phone would be even more difficult. I'd keep the status quo as much as possible. What you think is "easy" and "necessary" is neither of these things to them. They sound really capable already, being able to move for 3 months and re-route their mail. They are doing extremely well for their age, IMO.

[Ellie]

Personally, I dislike using my cell phone for internet, including email. I much prefer using my computer with its large monitor and keyboard. So I cannot think of any way to encourage your elderly parents to learn to pay bills and all that with a little hand-held device.

But I do feel your pain WRT helping them learn how to be Internet savvy. 😞 ITA that it would be really great if you could find someone local to help them figure things out; here in Round Rock, there is an adult recreation center that offers classes to help its members learn. Might there be something similar where they live?

[Miss Tick]

3 minutes ago, Ellie said:

here in Round Rock, there is an adult recreation center that offers classes to help its members learn. Might there be something similar where they live?

This reminds me that our library offers something similar.

[ScoutTN]

Our public library has very simple how-to-use-the-internet classes for free. Maybe theirs does too?

 

[Lanny]

WRT their computer.  I wonder if a "Chromebook" is something that might be easier for them, than their current computer, if the display is large enough for them to see it clearly.  No experience with Chromebooks, but many people here report great things about them (assuming one has good, constant WiFi) and it looks like they are easy to use.  Everything is in the Cloud.

An Android phone is quite a powerful device and there are many settings that one might, by accident, change and create issues.  Hopefully they will not click on something incorrectly that would cause them an issue that would frustrate them.

I would begin with having excellent Internet service and a strong WiFi signal in their house or apartment.

[Faith-manor]

I am ALL EARS! GAH, Faith goes running into the night screaming at the world. Sigh...my mom's cell phone is a decade's old flip phone. She gets lost more easily than she used to so we really need to get an easy to use android phone with google maps. But the whole thought of teaching her to use it makes me crazy. She is very technologically inept, and though my brother and dh are ever so patient with her over computer and printer issues, even teaching her to use a kindle - QUELL NIGHTMARE but she can finally do it - that the thought sends them in spasms of stress.

What we need here is a Bones pill from Star Trek IV The Voyage Home. Instead of growing a new kidney, swallow the pill and absorb basic tech skills. 

[Pen]

Btw, does Pixel 3 have an equivalent to Siri or Alexa where they could say, “hey, [Siri], find me one month rentals in Miami” or whatever?

[Lizzie in Ma]

Oh boy.  It is not easy.  I am actually considering getting a Facebook Portal just due to things like this that come up ALL the time.  Their Kindles, their phones, their computer, the smart tv.  It's almost a daily issue.

[Janeway]

I do not really use my phone for internet. On the occasion I post even here from my phone, there are lots of errors. I know I am not rare to not use it for the internet. The screen is so small and mobile sites vary in quality.  If you really want them to do stuff from on the internet, you would be better off getting them an inexpensive laptop.

[Garga]

18 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

I am ALL EARS! GAH, Faith goes running into the night screaming at the world. Sigh...my mom's cell phone is a decade's old flip phone. She gets lost more easily than she used to so we really need to get an easy to use android phone with google maps. But the whole thought of teaching her to use it makes me crazy. She is very technologically inept, and though my brother and dh are ever so patient with her over computer and printer issues, even teaching her to use a kindle - QUELL NIGHTMARE but she can finally do it - that the thought sends them in spasms of stress.

What we need here is a Bones pill from Star Trek IV The Voyage Home. Instead of growing a new kidney, swallow the pill and absorb basic tech skills. 

Your mom would probably be better with an actual GPS device that you plug into the car lighter socket.  

6 minutes ago, Janeway said:

I do not really use my phone for internet. On the occasion I post even here from my phone, there are lots of errors. I know I am not rare to not use it for the internet. The screen is so small and mobile sites vary in quality.  If you really want them to do stuff from on the internet, you would be better off getting them an inexpensive laptop.

I agree.  Paying bills and surfing the net on a phone are annoying to me and I’m only 45.  I use an ipad almost exclusively because I can buy a keyboard for it.  I keep the phone in my purse if I have to make emergency phone calls, or if I have to play solitaire.  🙂

For an older person, an ipad (with keyboard) or laptop would be better for doing things like bill paying and buying things online.  The screen needs to be bigger and you need to be able to type.  

[wintermom]

20 hours ago, Lanny said:

WRT their computer.  I wonder if a "Chromebook" is something that might be easier for them, than their current computer, if the display is large enough for them to see it clearly.  No experience with Chromebooks, but many people here report great things about them (assuming one has good, constant WiFi) and it looks like they are easy to use.  Everything is in the Cloud.

An Android phone is quite a powerful device and there are many settings that one might, by accident, change and create issues.  Hopefully they will not click on something incorrectly that would cause them an issue that would frustrate them.

I would begin with having excellent Internet service and a strong WiFi signal in their house or apartment.

Great idea. I love my chromebook. Very easy to use and would be great for e-mails and simple internet use. Google docs would provide the word processing capacity. They can be picked up really inexpensively second-hand. They are light weight, yet have a good size screen and "real" key board. 

[Chris in VA]

The advantage of the phone is that data would be much faster than their  pathetic wifi. But yes, ITA a computer is easier to type on and use. 

[Lanny]

8 minutes ago, Chris in VA said:

The advantage of the phone is that data would be much faster than their  pathetic wifi. But yes, ITA a computer is easier to type on and use. 

 

The first priority should IMO be to get much better Internet access for them.

ETA: Also, as I wrote before, 2 GB of Data can go REALLY fast.  I found that out this week when I was out of the house on Tuesday and the gardener cut our fiber optic cable.  Service was restored Wednesday night. I used approximately 650+ MB of Data and I was not watching movies or anything like that.  I have NO idea of how many GB we use on the Fiber Optic service each month, but it is probably dozens or hundreds of times more than 2 GB.  

Edited December 14, 2018 by Lanny
add ETA

[Scarlett]

First thing I thought when I read this subject line was 'heck, how do I teach dh !'  Yesterday  his sister sent dh, dss and myself a group text with some important and exciting news for dss.  Since it was about dss I thought I would wait to reply after he did....well almost immediately dh sends me (not the group) a thumbs up emoji. I asked him what that was about. So he COPYS the group text and sends it to me and says (as if I am the slow one) 'From my sister..you were part of the group text.'  I said, 'yes I got the group text but your thumbs up was sent just to me.'  He just said 'ok'.  He never did reply to the group text....I have no idea if he replied to her privately.  

Anyway, sorry to t/j but I agree with the suggestion of having them sign up for a class on how to use smartphones and other devices.  My dad is 80 and he does ok because he has my mom but if any little thing is different he sort of freaks.

[happi duck]

Not phone related but I set bills to auto-pay from my checking account.  I still get a paper statement.

The only bill that can't be auto-pay is automatically charged to a charge card.

I don't like online banking and find it confusing.

Maybe your folks could auto-pay bills.

[marbel]

Seconding or thirding the suggestion to check out the local library.  Our has walk-in tech tutoring; the website suggests a $5 donation per tutoring session but no one actually asks for the money.

Edited December 14, 2018 by marbel

[prairiewindmomma]

On 12/13/2018 at 11:28 AM, Faith-manor said:

I am ALL EARS! GAH, Faith goes running into the night screaming at the world. Sigh...my mom's cell phone is a decade's old flip phone. She gets lost more easily than she used to so we really need to get an easy to use android phone with google maps. But the whole thought of teaching her to use it makes me crazy. She is very technologically inept, and though my brother and dh are ever so patient with her over computer and printer issues, even teaching her to use a kindle - QUELL NIGHTMARE but she can finally do it - that the thought sends them in spasms of stress.

What we need here is a Bones pill from Star Trek IV The Voyage Home. Instead of growing a new kidney, swallow the pill and absorb basic tech skills. 

The newer Hondas and Acuras use Apple Car play. You can plug in a newer iPhone and use verbal commands to plug into the car to see a map and get turn by turn directions.

”Siri, take me to.....” or, my favorite, “Siri, take me home.” My 82 year old relative has a new iPhone so she can do this with her vehicle. The problem is that there must be enough cognition going to follow the directions without panicking and to recognize when Siri doesn’t get the correct location. We did some 1:1 training to get to mastery.

[prairiewindmomma]

We find that anything done with vocal commands is better than using visual + motor.

Also, FaceTime has been huge. Getting a visual on a lost person and using the “find my friend” is a low tech low jack. (She won’t take her gps fall alarm pack with her.)

(She no longer goes out of town by herself.)