What’s involved in getting an international driver’s license?

[madteaparty]

Or a driver license period, say in France or Germany or any Western European country? I know there’s places you can just buy one, this is not one of them.

I can’t tell whether my new au pair has ever driven a car, and she has an international driver’s license.dH (who has been driving with her) says it’s way beyond the issues of going from manual to automatic. I’m kind of freaked out as her main duty is driving. Yes we are getting lessons. But this is a kettle of fish I wasn’t ready for because i don’t think I’ve had an interaction with her before we picked her when I didn’t emphasize “driving. So much driving. Two kids three schools one over river,  plus extracurriculars” 

 

[Arcadia]

My husband had one. It is very easy to apply for one and get one. My husband passed his driving test in college and did not drive as he couldn’t afford a car in our HCOL home country. When we relocated to the states, my husband applied for the international drivers permit from my home country’s equivalent of AAA. All he needed was his driver’s license which has no demerit points (since he doesn’t drive) and the cash to pay for the permit. His permit was done in a day.

My husband was used to manual car and driving on the opposite side of the road. He had to be careful the first month here and then he got the hang of driving on the opposite side of the road using a rental automatic Honda Civic. 

My cousin’s wife did not drive for more than twenty years, also got her drivers license while in college. When she wanted to drive again, she had to take a refresher course. Driving ability didn’t naturally come back to her. 

[Matryoshka]

I would think it would first require a driver's license in the home country.  It is much, much more difficult to get a driver's license in the European countries I'm familiar with (well, I know the most about Germany).   You need to be 18 years old minimum, and there are huge long expensive courses and tons of driving time on the road - and yes, you actually learn how to drive manual.  I would think there would be zero trouble moving from manual to automatic - it's a no-brainer.  Manual is much harder and we don't even require people to learn how to use it if they learn automatic first - you just buy a car and grind the gears!

Some people just aren't great drivers.  Or is this person from a country of crazy drivers - some of the southern European countries are a bit hair-raising to drive in (*cough* Italy)

[maize]

It is harder to get a standard drivers licence in most of Western Europe than in the US.

[J-rap]

When we've gotten one for other countries, it was pretty simple (we didn't need to pass a test or anything) to get at least a temporary international driver's license.  But, we did need to prove that we had a license in our home country.

She could certainly take classes here and maybe even get a license here too.  If you're uncomfortable with her driving, could you require that of her?  Some friends of ours had an au pair who had just graduated from high school.  She didn't yet have a driver's license in her home country (Germany), but was able to go through the course here and get a license here.  

[Bootsie]

Does she have a driver's license from her own country?

Edited September 10, 2018 by jdahlquist

[Liz CA]

Once I had a license in an European country, I could apply for an international license. Long time ago but if I remember correctly one had to be licensed in order to obtain an international license.

[Liz CA]

2 hours ago, madteaparty said:

Or a driver license period, say in France or Germany or any Western European country? I know there’s places you can just buy one, this is not one of them.

I can’t tell whether my new au pair has ever driven a car, and she has an international driver’s license.dH (who has been driving with her) says it’s way beyond the issues of going from manual to automatic. I’m kind of freaked out as her main duty is driving. Yes we are getting lessons. But this is a kettle of fish I wasn’t ready for because i don’t think I’ve had an interaction with her before we picked her when I didn’t emphasize “driving. So much driving. Two kids three schools one over river,  plus extracurriculars” 

 

 

Is she possibly not used to city traffic and got licensed in a more rural area?  Or - if it's the other way around - is she more scared to drive on roads where she is not liable to encounter anyone else if she had any kind of trouble like finding the way, car trouble, etc.? Is your vehicle significantly larger than what she was used to? OR did she misunderstand that your mentioning of "driving" was interpreted that you would teach her? Several European countries do not allow licensing until people are 18 and young people think it's great to come to the States and learn how to drive and get a license here - it is also a lot less expensive since here you can be taught by any licensed driver and have no mandatory lessons. Have you actually asked her straightforward how much she has been driving at home?  :)

Edited September 10, 2018 by Liz CA

[Corraleno]

When I first moved to the UK I had an international license based on my US license. In my experience, an "international license" is basically just a card that certifies, in multiple languages, that you are licensed in your home country. There weren't any extra hoops to jump through or additional tests to get the international license, but you did have to prove you had a valid license to begin with. And I concur with others that it's generally harder to get a license in Western European countries than it is the the US.

Where is the au pair from? Does your DH think she doesn't know how to drive at all, or just that she drives in a way that seems crazy to him? European driving habits can be very different. I drove quite a bit in France, for example, and found that people generally had much smaller cars and drove much faster, darting in and out of traffic, but they also paid much closer attention, so what might seem like really dangerous maneuvers on a busy US highway (with people in huge cars zoned out or looking at their phones) was just normal highway driving in France. It was quite scary until I got used to it (and I have no desire to ever drive the ring road around Paris again as long as I live). I've heard from some Eastern Europeans, though, that drivers there can be really crazy and not very careful. From what I saw in Latvia, I would say that's true, and my son had some pretty hairy cab rides in Serbia, too. 

[Rosie_0801]

2 hours ago, Matryoshka said:

 I would think there would be zero trouble moving from manual to automatic - it's a no-brainer. 

 

Um, yeah. Anyone should be able to move from a manual to an automatic with all of about ten minutes practice.

Unfamiliar roads can take some time for people to become comfortable with though.

[CAJinBE]

I thought that you had to be in possession of your national driver's license plus your international license when operating a vehicle. That's how we've always done it. Can you ask her if she has a driver's license from her home country. 

[mumto2]

2 hours ago, CAJinBE said:

I thought that you had to be in possession of your national driver's license plus your international license when operating a vehicle. That's how we've always done it. Can you ask her if she has a driver's license from her home country. 

This is my belief also.

In the UK the licensing procedure is pretty rigorous and I know it was in the Netherlands(per good friends) when I was getting my manual license here.  The rules seemed pretty similar from discussions.  

A manual license means I can drive both manual and automatics.  The automatic license is considered the quick way and you cannot drive a manual with one.  Someone who has the manual license in either will find driving an automatic in the US easy.  Our Dutch friends lived in your area with their Dutch licenses for several years. ? 

My UK license looks very similar to one from the US and is good until I turn 70 I think.  The big difference is I don’t carry it with me......no one does.  Kind of nice if one forgets her purse and Dh drove to something.......If we are in an accident and asked to, you take your license in to the local police station within 30 days,  I believe.  So need /requirement to carry my license ever. 

Ask to see her license from her country.  Tell her she must carry both at all times when she is driving your children that it is the law in the US.   

 It can take awhile to get your plastic license, maybe 3 weeks,  you have a document showing you passed all the exams until then which is considered legal. I do know someone who got an international license with that document and did HAVE to drive in the US using it on a business trip.

[madteaparty]

4 hours ago, Liz CA said:

 

Is she possibly not used to city traffic and got licensed in a more rural area?  Or - if it's the other way around - is she more scared to drive on roads where she is not liable to encounter anyone else if she had any kind of trouble like finding the way, car trouble, etc.? Is your vehicle significantly larger than what she was used to? OR did she misunderstand that your mentioning of "driving" was interpreted that you would teach her? Several European countries do not allow licensing until people are 18 and young people think it's great to come to the States and learn how to drive and get a license here - it is also a lot less expensive since here you can be taught by any licensed driver and have no mandatory lessons. Have you actually asked her straightforward how much she has been driving at home?  ?

Obviously I asked. Many times. It was pretty much the only topic of conversation because I have a  7 year old that’s in school or extracurriculars everyday until 5(and sometimes comes home with our neighbors) and a 14 year old.  Au pair is 21. 

I should've gone with my initial instinct of hiring a driver. But that just seemed weird. 

The driving here is the easiest you can imagine, rural and hardly any cars.

Edited September 10, 2018 by madteaparty

[madteaparty]

3 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Um, yeah. Anyone should be able to move from a manual to an automatic with all of about ten minutes practice.

Unfamiliar roads can take some time for people to become comfortable with though.

You would think. You would be wrong in this case. It took 4 trips to stop using two feet to drive. 

This is what I’m saying that I am genuinely curious how the license process worked in this case.

[madteaparty]

6 hours ago, Matryoshka said:

I would think it would first require a driver's license in the home country.  It is much, much more difficult to get a driver's license in the European countries I'm familiar with (well, I know the most about Germany).   You need to be 18 years old minimum, and there are huge long expensive courses and tons of driving time on the road - and yes, you actually learn how to drive manual.  I would think there would be zero trouble moving from manual to automatic - it's a no-brainer.  Manual is much harder and we don't even require people to learn how to use it if they learn automatic first - you just buy a car and grind the gears!

Some people just aren't great drivers.  Or is this person from a country of crazy drivers - some of the southern European countries are a bit hair-raising to drive in (*cough* Italy)

Yes I know all this. Well, I thought it was true. They au pair company said if you want a strong driver go with a French or German au pair. She’s French.

 

[madteaparty]

4 hours ago, Corraleno said:

When I first moved to the UK I had an international license based on my US license. In my experience, an "international license" is basically just a card that certifies, in multiple languages, that you are licensed in your home country. There weren't any extra hoops to jump through or additional tests to get the international license, but you did have to prove you had a valid license to begin with. And I concur with others that it's generally harder to get a license in Western European countries than it is the the US.

Where is the au pair from? Does your DH think she doesn't know how to drive at all, or just that she drives in a way that seems crazy to him? European driving habits can be very different. I drove quite a bit in France, for example, and found that people generally had much smaller cars and drove much faster, darting in and out of traffic, but they also paid much closer attention, so what might seem like really dangerous maneuvers on a busy US highway (with people in huge cars zoned out or looking at their phones) was just normal highway driving in France. It was quite scary until I got used to it (and I have no desire to ever drive the ring road around Paris again as long as I live). I've heard from some Eastern Europeans, though, that drivers there can be really crazy and not very careful. From what I saw in Latvia, I would say that's true, and my son had some pretty hairy cab rides in Serbia, too. 

DH has driven in all all those regions you mentioned ? AND the ring road in Paris and basically has told me she is not driving our kids in the foreseeable future. He’s the one working from home and driving them so it’s not exactly easy for him to say ? We are looking at hundreds of dollars in private driving lessons. And even then he has doubts...

[mumto2]

One more thought, it is typical in the UK to license your 17yo and let the license age so when they buy their first car the insurance will be less expensive.  For many young drivers the last time they drove was literally the day they got their license.  You can buy insurance by the day quite easily so some do that for when the kids are home from Uni and need to drive.  You could easily get a 21 yo from here who is fully licensed but relatively inexperienced.

 

[CAJinBE]

A 21 year old from France is likely to be a very inexperienced driver. They can drive from 18 without restrictions. From our experience here in Belgium, although the legal age is 18, most of our daughter's friends got their license closer to 19 because of the amount of instruction required. Even then they tend to take public transportation because the family only has one or two cars to share and the adults are using those for work. University students are typically on the train or bus. My oldest is turning 19 and hasn't even started the process and doesn't feel unusual at all. It seems that the au pair misrepresented her qualifications. I'm sorry the au pair isn't working out like you expected. 

[Lanny]

If someone was going to a country where an International drivers license is required (and known to the traffic police) one would go, to the nearest AAA office and pay for that license.

Probably not required, unless the license one has is in an alphabet (is that the word) the traffic police will not recognize.

When we go to the USA, we use our Colombian Drivers Licenses to rent cars. We have never been asked for an International Drivers License there. I assume it is the same for people coming from the states to Colombia.

Your issue is different, because her primary duty is to chauffeur your DC around.  Going from a manual transmission (most very small cars here have them) to an automatic transmission should not be a huge issue. Going from an Automatic to a stick shift, there is a "learning curve".

Did she come from the UK or another country where they drive on the Left side of the road?

Good luck!

[regentrude]

1 hour ago, madteaparty said:

You would think. You would be wrong in this case. It took 4 trips to stop using two feet to drive. 

If someone has driven manual for a long time, using both feet is instinctive and not explained away in 10 minutes.  Even when the driver "knows" how it's supposed to work - braking is a reflex, and a reflex isn't going away that quickly. Ask me how I know.

Edited September 10, 2018 by regentrude

[Matryoshka]

10 minutes ago, regentrude said:

If someone has driven manual for a long time, using both feet is instinctive and not explained away in 10 minutes.  Even when the driver "knows" how it's supposed to work - braking is a reflex, and a reflex isn't going away that quickly. Ask me how I know.

Yeah, but if you drive manual,  you still use your right foot for both gas and brake - your left foot is only on the clutch. If your left foot is wanting to do something,  it should be stomping on the floor, not the brake...

Edited September 10, 2018 by Matryoshka

[madteaparty]

7 minutes ago, regentrude said:

If someone has driven manual for a long time, using both feet is instinctive and not explained away in 10 minutes.  Even when the driver knows that's how it's supposed to work - braking is a reflex, and a reflex isn't going away that quickly. 

That’s what I said, and I’m actually really sympathetic because I only learned to drive in my mid 30s and was a bit under the gun to do so because of commute and kids. But this seems like someone who is just learning to drive. Once she stopped using the left foot to brake, she was so focused on that she forgot to stop. Literally, at stop signs, getting out of our driveway into the road.?

i 

[El...]

I have an international driving license now, and just renewed it in Germany. I'm required to carry a valid home country license alongside it. 

[Matryoshka]

1 minute ago, madteaparty said:

That’s what I said, and I’m actually really sympathetic because I only learned to drive in my mid 30s and was a bit under the gun to do so because of commute and kids. But this seems like someone who is just learning to drive. Once she stopped using the left foot to brake, she was so focused on that she forgot to stop. Literally, at stop signs, getting out of our driveway into the road.?

i 

Oh. My. Sounds like the driving instruction in France is not as rigorous as what I've seen in Germany. ..  and again, left foot is *never* supposed to be on the brake, manual or automatic. .. 

[regentrude]

3 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

 and again, left foot is *never* supposed to be on the brake, manual or automatic. .. 

But when you want to brake with a manual, you have to simultaneously press the clutch with the left foot in order not to kill the engine, and with much more pressure than you would need on the brake. So braking involves an instinctive slamming of the left foot on a pedal - and if there's no clutch, it is likely to land on the brake unless you consciously think about it or have enough experience . Causing the car to come to a violent jerky stop.

Happened to me many times when switching to automatic after driving my usual manual. 

Edited September 10, 2018 by regentrude

[chiguirre]

Can you ask the au pair agency to assign you someone else? I'd specifically ask for someone from a rural area who has needed to drive due to lack of public transport.

Good Luck!

[madteaparty]

3 minutes ago, chiguirre said:

Can you ask the au pair agency to assign you someone else? I'd specifically ask for someone from a rural area who has needed to drive due to lack of public transport.

Good Luck!

The au pair agency knew about the driving being our main need and they assisted us with the selection process. Let’s just say I don’t trust that process anymore. This is a lovely and very sweet girl that has had her license since last year, has driven twice a week and apparently doesn’t know how to drive. I’m not sure the next one, who might be even younger (they’re usually 18) will be an improvement.

iam however considering doing away with the au pair completely and hiring a part time driver. 

DH is driving everyday with her and we are getting private lessons and an evaluation. 

[Matryoshka]

6 minutes ago, regentrude said:

But when you want to brake with a manual, you have to simultaneously press the clutch with the left foot in order not to kill the engine, and with much more pressure than you would need on the brake. So braking involves an instinctive slamming of the left foot on a pedal - and if there's no clutch, it is likely to land on the brake unless you consciously think about it or have enough experience . Causing the car to come to a violent jerky stop.

Happened to me many times when switching to automatic after driving my usual manual. 

Then what is your right foot doing? Hitting the gas while trying to brake, or are you using two feet on the brake pedal? We have both manual and automatic cars, and I switch back and forth all the time.  I did learn automatic first, though...

An idea... most cars have a kind of footrest on the far left... it's a bit further left than where one's foot would naturally rest, but maybe have her put her foot there like it was a pedal, to keep it away from the action?

[Wheres Toto]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

If someone has driven manual for a long time, using both feet is instinctive and not explained away in 10 minutes.  Even when the driver "knows" how it's supposed to work - braking is a reflex, and a reflex isn't going away that quickly. Ask me how I know.

Yep, definitely this.  I drove a manual for the first 15 or so years after I learned to drive.  Whenever I switched to an automatic, I would automatically use both feet when braking.  My left foot basically didn't hit anything except the foot rest, but the instinctive movement was there. 

[regentrude]

37 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

Then what is your right foot doing? Hitting the gas while trying to brake, or are you using two feet on the brake pedal? We have both manual and automatic cars, and I switch back and forth all the time.  I did learn automatic first, though...

You know what , I have no idea - probably hitting the brake pedal too - but you never hit as hard with right than with left because the clutch requires much more force, so the effect of the clutch foot slamming the brake kind of overwhelms it all ?

When we had an automatic and a manual car, I had no trouble switching back and forth. But after driving manual only for a long time, encountering automatic took me a while to train my reflexes so I didn't have to *think* about it. I learned to drive on manual first.

[Wheres Toto]

Reading more, I do know people who drive an automatic using both feet - right foot on the gas, left foot on the brake.   They are afraid of not having enough time to move the right foot over to the brake in time.  Mostly it's older people who learned that way a long long long time ago though.  

I actually had my very first accident, running a car into a tree, because I was using both feet with an automatic.  It was suggested to me by the person who took me driving and when I hit the brake and they yelled "Brake!!" I switched feet and gassed it into a tree.  I was 16, not even old enough to have a permit yet.  I didn't try driving again until I was 19.

[regentrude]

46 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

The au pair agency knew about the driving being our main need and they assisted us with the selection process. Let’s just say I don’t trust that process anymore. This is a lovely and very sweet girl that has had her license since last year, has driven twice a week and apparently doesn’t know how to drive.

I am sorry. Sounds like the agency completely screwed up. No way would I consider a young driver who has only been driving for a year, and only twice a week, to be fit to be the main transport provider for children.

I hope you find a solution. Also, can it be that she has anxiety? I would probably have been extremely nervous driving under the scrutiny of my employer.

[maize]

Do you know how long ago she got her license and if she has actually had a car to drive?

I lived in France and Austria as a teen; most young adults in the cities didn't even have licenses let alone a car; drivers education was thorough but expensive. I didn't get a licence until I was almost 21 and living in the US. I'm betting she is short on actual driving experience.

[Matryoshka]

1 minute ago, Where's Toto? said:

Reading more, I do know people who drive an automatic using both feet - right foot on the gas, left foot on the brake.   They are afraid of not having enough time to move the right foot over to the brake in time.  Mostly it's older people who learned that way a long long long time ago though.  

I actually had my very first accident, running a car into a tree, because I was using both feet with an automatic.  It was suggested to me by the person who took me driving and when I hit the brake and they yelled "Brake!!" I switched feet and gassed it into a tree.  I was 16, not even old enough to have a permit yet.  I didn't try driving again until I was 19.

Yes, there are people who drive with both feet in an automatic, but I think your anecdote shows exactly why you're not supposed to do that!!  Also, to make sure you don't hit the brake and the gas simultaneously. I don't think anyone teaches it that way (sure hope not!) but I do know some people do it anyway.

[madteaparty]

1 minute ago, maize said:

Do you know how long ago she got her license and if she has actually had a car to drive?

I lived in France and Austria as a teen; most young adults in the cities didn't even have licenses let alone a car; drivers education was thorough but expensive. I didn't get a licence until I was almost 21 and living in the US. I'm betting she is short on actual driving experience.

Well again, I know what she tells me. She lives with her mom and said she drove her mom’s car to her internship and sometimes a course she’d take. I even asked where the car is parked (they live in an apartment)

[madteaparty]

8 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I hope you find a solution. Also, can it be that she has anxiety? I would probably have been extremely nervous driving under the scrutiny of my employer.

For sure she is nervous. She is a really sweet girl. I’m going to get her private driving lessons just for this, but also, not stopping at a stop sign? That you know is there because it’s the 6th time through and DH is saying. Stop. Stop. It’s not even a language thing....

On the other hand, I’m pissed. I cannot emphasize enough how much I talked about the driving “most your day will be in the car. My son goes to three different places every day. You will be driving over a river, and be in the car probably over an hour every single weekday. 

Now we have set the river thing (DS will take an Uber) aside and are trying to get her to drive 15 min to the local college. It’s 45 mph all the way, no highway, no weirdness. 

Edited September 10, 2018 by madteaparty

[regentrude]

55 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

For sure she is nervous. She is a really sweet girl. I’m going to get her private driving lessons just for this, but also, not stopping at a stop sign? That you know is there because it’s the 6th time through and DH is saying. Stop. Stop. It’s not even a language thing....

Another thing that occurred to me: has she been explicitly instructed in rules of the road for the US? Traffic rules are very different. Unless she has been systematically taught about the differences, she will feel very insecure because the rules she knows from home no longer work. has she been taught how a stop signed intersection works? We don't have those in Germany; not sure about France.

Edited September 10, 2018 by regentrude

[gardenmom5]

get passport photos - got to a travel agency. (I think we did AAA).  fill it all out, pay the fee.   make sure you have your US license with you too.

the weirdest in austira was one-lane roads where it was who got there first that decided what direction it was.

[gingersmom]

I had nothing but bad experiences with au pairs.

I am not surprised at all that you emphasized driving and she can't drive.

You have my sympathies.

[Bootsie]

Is your car much larger than the car that she is used to driving?  Driving a car that is much larger than what you are used to can take a while to get adjusted to.

I don't know how long she has been in the US, but it can be difficult to drive a different car, on roads you are not familiar with, with signs in a language that is not your native language, in an area where the laws a slightly different and driving habits differ.  Maybe she has jet lag and is nervous about pleasing you, so seems less confident than she will after a while.

There are some things that are minor about driving in a different country that can throw even a very experienced driver at first.  When I have driven in Austria, for example, I am driving a standard and when sitting at a red traffic light, the yellow light comes (so red and yellow are both on) to signal that the light is about to turn green--at that point, you put your foot on the clutch and get ready to go when the light is green (all the while watching for pedestrians, cyclists, and trams that I don't have to watch for in my home town).  If I went through a light as soon as it turned green like that in the US, I would be hit by someone going through a "pink" light.  

[madteaparty]

57 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Another thing that occurred to me: has she been explicitly instructed in rules of the road for the US? Traffic rules are very different. Unless she has been systematically taught about the differences, she will feel very insecure because the rules she knows from home no longer work. has she been taught how a stop signed intersection works? We don't have those in Germany; not sure about France.

Yes m’am. I paid for a multi hour AAA class before she even came to us. I also took her with me driving and casually explained. “Here we are driving in the middle of the night. There’s no one for miles. But there’s a stop sign so I stop all the way, see?”. 

[madteaparty]

58 minutes ago, HeighHo said:

I think the weirdness for your au pair is going to be the right of way rules at the intersections.  No yellow diamond, no rotaries?  And then add in that most of the people here don't even use the rules for a 4 way stop.  Also the pedestrian signals are different.

And that bizarre area adjacent to the Northwest section of campus...my college student carpooled with a kid who lives in the area for Thanksgiving break, and  neither could figure out how to get in the church parking lot, and that's with gps and specific directions and both are familiar with the campus in that area. 

No rotaries!no right of way. I’m not even sending her over the Hudson! I want to pm you the route she would do bc you’re local to me and you’d agree it’s probably the easiest drive ever. It’s the first one my sister did with her kids when she drove. It’s a two lane suburban/rural road with 3 stop signs and one light where she goes straight! (This is to the high school). To the college, DH took the easiest, major entrance way. It’s a $hitshow. 

Edited September 10, 2018 by madteaparty

[Bootsie]

18 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

No rotaries!no right of way. I’m not even sending her over the Hudson! I want to pm you the route she would do bc you’re local to me and you’d agree it’s probably the easiest drive ever. It’s the first one my sister did with her kids when she drove. It’s a two lane suburban/rural road with 3 stop signs and one light where she goes straight! (This is to the high school). To the college, DH took the easiest, major entrance way. It’s a $hitshow. 

So, what is it that she is doing?  Is she driving too quickly?  Driving too slowly?  Not staying in her lane?  Not coming to a complete stop?  Or, is she having trouble following directions?

[madteaparty]

11 minutes ago, jdahlquist said:

So, what is it that she is doing?  Is she driving too quickly?  Driving too slowly?  Not staying in her lane?  Not coming to a complete stop?  Or, is she having trouble following directions?

First it was breaking with left foot thing. once that was sort of fixed, everything else went wrong. She drove straight from our driveway into the road (two lane road with occasional traffic on both sides),  not even a slow down. She doesn’t stop at stop signs. At one point she veered off across the yellow line all the way to the wooded area (no shoulder)—DH said if there was a car coming from the other side he in the passenger seat would be dead. When he says turn left, she doesn’t turn left (repeated three times with much notice).  Too fast for sure (hilly area). For reference, it’s such unsafe driving he doesn’t feel comfortable even letting her take the car alone for practice—little dd is with neighbors while DH drives with her.

this is the same stretch of 15 min drive over and over again, fyi.

i’ve asked for someone from the company to gage her real driving experience because what no one can tell me now (hence this crazy thread) is whether this is even a fixable problem. I don’t want to throw good money (and time. DH needs to be able to work!) after bad. 

 

Edited September 10, 2018 by madteaparty

[Mbelle]

I would suspect she has barely ever driven if at all.  The things you are explaining all sound like what my dd did when she first began to drive.  It took my dd over 2 years to learn to drive and be able to get her permanent permit.  This was all in the last 2 years for us, so it's fresh experience.

[madteaparty]

Just now, Mbelle said:

I would suspect she has barely ever driven if at all.  The things you are explaining all sound like what my dd did when she first began to drive.  It took my dd over 2 years to learn to drive and be able to get her permanent permit.  This was all in the last 2 years for us, so it's fresh experience.

Right. So 10 hours of driving lessons won’t fix this? That’s what I’m thinking too ?

[Roadrunner]

It’s fixable. If you were in the city, I would tell you to pack her suitcases. There is no reason she can’t learn how to drive on a straight country road. She doesn’t have any health condition (I can’t even think what that could be frankly) I am assuming. 

I know you don’t have time for this stupidity. Sorry you are dealing with this, but in your situation, I agree about investing into couple of hours of private professional driving lessons. 

My mom, who can drive in the most insane city, was freaking out in my town just because it’s a different country. Silly really. She was going 20 miles an hour on a 55 mike an hour two way road and panicking that hills prevented her from seeing what was ahead. ? I am rolling my eyes here because her driving skills in Bombay like conditions are at 100%. 

So hopefully she will get used to this and gains some confidence and learns to read “spot.”! 

 

[madteaparty]

1 minute ago, Roadrunner said:

It’s fixable. If you were in the city, I would tell you to pack her suitcases. There is no reason she can’t learn how to drive on a straight country road. She doesn’t have any health condition (I can’t even think what that could be frankly) I am assuming. 

I know you don’t have time for this stupidity. Sorry you are dealing with this, but in your situation, I agree about investing into couple of hours of private professional driving lessons. 

My mom, who can drive in the most insane city, was freaking out in my town just because it’s a different country. Silly really. She was going 20 miles an hour on a 55 mike an hour two way road and panicking that hills prevented her from seeing what was ahead. ? I am rolling my eyes here because her driving skills in Bombay like conditions are at 100%. 

So hopefully she will get used to this and gains some confidence and learns to read “spot.”! 

 

You think so? I mean I’m in tears over this nonsense and don’t know what to do. I thought getting an older au pair would be better. DH has not been in the office in almost a month and I don’t know when he’ll go now (well, tomorrow. Ds taking early bus to school and Uber home). 

I know I needed private driving lessons bc DH couldn’t teach me. But I had like three, and THEN, I refused to drive with my kids in the car for a while, while I commuted.

[Roadrunner]

4 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

You think so? I mean I’m in tears over this nonsense and don’t know what to do. I thought getting an older au pair would be better. DH has not been in the office in almost a month and I don’t know when he’ll go now (well, tomorrow. Ds taking early bus to school and Uber home). 

I know I needed private driving lessons bc DH couldn’t teach me. But I had like three, and THEN, I refused to drive with my kids in the car for a while, while I commuted.

 

The time it will take to send this one home and get another one is huge. That’s why I feel like couple of hours of private lessons are worth it. I am assuming here that she isn’t lying and has driven couple of hours a week in the past and it’s  just a matter of being intimidated by a new country and an automatic car. 

Also, if I were you, I would look for a retired person in town or a college student ASAP who would be willing to do the driving. That could be a quick temporary fix. Any public bulletin boards at a local community center? Post!

 

[Bootsie]

If she is driving too quickly, another thing could be the confusion over changing form kilometers/hour to mph.  If she is used to looking at the speedometer and going 100 (KM/H) and looks down and sees 60, then it may seem to her that she is going too slowly.  

I would think it is probably a fixable problem; my DD was slow to learn to drive but a little experience and confidence made all of the difference in the world.