Motivation and accountability for a 12 year old boy

[maize]

Let's say you know a 12 year old who is going through a grouchy phase and resisting school work.

 

Positive motivation generally works better than negative for this kid, but nothing much is working right now. There is some inclination towards depression so extracurriculars are non optional (fortunately he participates willingly) and cannot be used as a privilege that might be withheld.

 

Please throw ideas at me!

[Χά�ων]

Age and maturity? I got nothing.

[Garga]

Is he getting enough sleep? My ds12 needs 10.5 hours a night.

 

Is there a schedule in place so he knows what to expect throughout the day?

 

I have set amounts of time for each subject. If my ds12 wastes that time I tell him that the work will still have to be done by the end of the day. He can do it now during the set time, or do it later. I don’t say it in a mean way, just in a matter-of-fact way. And then I gently, but firmly, stick to it and in the evening set aside time for the work to be finished.

 

We use timers for each subject so he doesn’t feel like it’ll last forever. Remember being in school and watching the clock until a class was over? It’s a good thing, I think. If they feel like it’ll drag forever, they get discouraged and give up. If they know it’ll be over soon, they can sometimes push through and get it all done.

 

Are there set breaks? We take 10 minute breaks between each class where the kids can totally chill.

 

Do you balance out the hard classes between easy classes? Or do you get the hard ones out of the way before the easier ones? I’m careful to get the hard stuff done at the time when they’re best able to focus and do the easier classes when they’re losing focus. For us that means hard ones first, but for other people it might be different. Some people work best in the afternoon.

 

And sometimes I just ignore the sighing and moaning. I’m a pretty good natured person and think I do a good job of keeping things light and using humor, so I can manage to make things light even when they’re moaning about things.

 

And of course, make sure there is enough good food. If he’s going through puberty, he might suddenly need more sleep and more protein. I make sure my guys get protein at breakfast—a bit of bacon, eggs, ham, or sausages in the morning. (Only one of the four! And in limited quantities. They don’t eat all that meat at the same time.)

 

For my ds12, he still needs a lot of snuggling and smiles from me. I do my best to greet him in the morning with a smile and a hug and to give him hugs and smiles while he’s working, too. I try to be the teacher that you loved in school because she was so nice to you, not the one who flew off the handle and yelled at you (looking at you Sister Loretta from Catholic school in 7th grade!)

[maize]

Is he getting enough sleep? My ds12 needs 10.5 hours a night.

 

Is there a schedule in place so he knows what to expect throughout the day?

 

I have set amounts of time for each subject. If my ds12 wastes that time I tell him that the work will still have to be done by the end of the day. He can do it now during the set time, or do it later. I don’t say it in a mean way, just in a matter-of-fact way. And then I gently, but firmly, stick to it and in the evening set aside time for the work to be finished.

 

We use timers for each subject so he doesn’t feel like it’ll last forever. Remember being in school and watching the clock until a class was over? It’s a good thing, I think. If they feel like it’ll drag forever, they get discouraged and give up. If they know it’ll be over soon, they can sometimes push through and get it all done.

 

Are there set breaks? We take 10 minute breaks between each class where the kids can totally chill.

 

Do you balance out the hard classes between easy classes? Or do you get the hard ones out of the way before the easier ones? I’m careful to get the hard stuff done at the time when they’re best able to focus and do the easier classes when they’re losing focus. For us that means hard ones first, but for other people it might be different. Some people work best in the afternoon.

 

And sometimes I just ignore the sighing and moaning. I’m a pretty good natured person and think I do a good job of keeping things light and using humor, so I can manage to make things light even when they’re moaning about things.

 

And of course, make sure there is enough good food. If he’s going through puberty, he might suddenly need more sleep and more protein. I make sure my guys get protein at breakfast—a bit of bacon, eggs, ham, or sausages in the morning. (Only one of the four! And in limited quantities. They don’t eat all that meat at the same time.)

 

For my ds12, he still needs a lot of snuggling and smiles from me. I do my best to greet him in the morning with a smile and a hug and to give him hugs and smiles while he’s working, too. I try to be the teacher that you loved in school because she was so nice to you, not the one who flew off the handle and yelled at you (looking at you Sister Loretta from Catholic school in 7th grade!)

Good ideas here.

 

We're down to just basics--I want math done on most days (that is what prompted this post, he simply would not do it today), and language arts a couple of times a week. He has Chinese tutoring once a week.

 

He attends a two day a week school that covers plenty of social studies and science for now.

 

He's eating constantly, not growing fast yet but I think his body is chunking up in preparation for a major growth spurt.

 

He's supposed to be in bed by 9:00 but takes a long time to settle down.

 

Definitely I need to figure out how to have more positive interactions with him; it's hard right now--not so much because of the school work stuff but because I have to keep intervening when he is being nasty towards a sibling.

 

I think he could use even more physical activity, but he's already doing basketball, martial arts, and Irish dance. Maybe I could get him to run on the treadmill in the morning.

Edited January 25, 2018 by maize

[umsami]

I have a kid like this.  What I found out was that he often just wants alone time with me.  So letting him do his work sitting next to me, seems to be a big motivator to him.  Telling him we'll go for a walk around the block together with the dog is a big motivator too.

 

Might not work for yours, though.   :grouphug:

[Tanaqui]

He's supposed to be in bed by 9:00 but takes a long time to settle down.

 

Adolescents typically don't start producing melatonin until later at night than adults. Maybe give him a new bedtime and wake-up time, with the rule that after 9pm he should be in bed reading (and NOT on a screen - that blue light is killer for sleep) but he doesn't have to turn off the lights until 11 or so?

 

[Melissa in Australia]

What I do for my ds just turned 14 is write all the subjects for the day on the whiteboard. then cross them off as he does them. I give him the choice what order he wants to do them. 

 I also let him sleep in. he gets up at around 11.30. this actually suits me as I do the twins schoolwork in the morning and am free to concentrate on ds in the afternoon.

 

For him a big motivator is he has a friend who is homeschooled and they correspond on STEAM. they both want to play with each other on STEAM and both have to get their work finished first. 

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited January 29, 2018 by rozes

[Critterfixer]

Another poster brought it up, but I will say that having a substantial bulk of unplanned free-time has always been a huge motivational tool for my guys. They will work like demons to get through a morning of material beside the river in the early summer. They know that their kayaks are on the truck, and when they finish, I won't do anything but sit back on the bank, write, and they can paddle up and down, explore the other side of the river and have water-wars between boats. 

At home, starting each day with an hour of free-time to read whatever they want, to draw whatever they want, or to just go outside and take a walk, or build something, or mess around in the garden has been helpful in getting to the table with good attitudes.

 

[Lecka]

This sounds familiar.  He did better with having more time out of the house with kids his age.  It just kept him away from the sibling more, and let him have more interaction that wasn't frustrating to him. 

 

I think a lot of the frustration with the sibling was based on the sibling not being on the same developmental level, but he didn't want to (or wasn't able to) adjust down. 

 

Well -- now he seems to be adjusting down just fine.  I don't know if he had to take a while to figure this out, and adapt his new development around the younger sibling not having the same development.  Or, if he is getting more of his needs met by other kids at the same stage he is at now. 

 

I don't know. 

 

It feels like it could be random or just "he grew some more" but I am mentioning it anyway. 

[maize]

This sounds familiar.  He did better with having more time out of the house with kids his age.  It just kept him away from the sibling more, and let him have more interaction that wasn't frustrating to him. 

 

I think a lot of the frustration with the sibling was based on the sibling not being on the same developmental level, but he didn't want to (or wasn't able to) adjust down. 

 

Well -- now he seems to be adjusting down just fine.  I don't know if he had to take a while to figure this out, and adapt his new development around the younger sibling not having the same development.  Or, if he is getting more of his needs met by other kids at the same stage he is at now. 

 

I don't know. 

 

It feels like it could be random or just "he grew some more" but I am mentioning it anyway. 

 

Adjusting for younger sibling's developmental level is definitely a problem.

 

The sibling that he is most in conflict with is in school full time, that's about as much separation as I can manage.

 

Ds12 is in school part time. He has social interaction difficulties (think aspie like, though he doesn't have that diagnosis) so even though he is around peers a lot he isn't actually doing a lot of interacting.

 

I do think he would respond better to a more structured home environment--but that is awfully hard to achieve under current circumstances.

 

I appreciate everyone sharing perspective and ideas, it is very helpful.

[Julie Smith]

My 12 year old isn’t grouchy, but he is very good at not working. He literally drags his butt around, as in on the floor pulling himself towards the table with his arms cause he is to tired to wal right then.

 

Also sometimes such difficulty focusing cause he has no brain. (We have a teddy bear zombie that often eats it, or so I’m told)

[Julie Smith]

We Have a checklist for school. You are allowed to get behind, but no playing computers if you are behind.

 

Once a week or so I’ll look at whichever subject is giving him the most trouble and say, “if you ..... install this lightbulb up high, or put new wipers on the car, ... then you can get a math check.†I am building up the idea that he is a guy who can easily fix things. I’m trying to make that into his thing. (His eldet brother already has lots of things, and this isn’t one of them).

[Peaceseeker]

I think being consistent (as hard as that is) helps with the general resistance to the idea of school. The more we get in a habit of school, with less breaks, the less grumbling I get. Once I give in once, I have set the stage for them to argue with me every time.

 

We take less breaks than we used to, and attitudes have actually improved. Or maybe it is just resignation, lol.

[Arcadia]

The sibling that he is most in conflict with is in school full time, that's about as much separation as I can manage.

My two are in conflict. Having their own “territory†in the living room helps as it creates an invisible boundary that no one crosses when they are doing their school work. It is like a study desk but a bigger area.

 

Motivation for my kids are hard at any age but it’s hard for motivation for school work when college and career are still some years away. Accountability is much easier since DS12 responsibility as a 7th grader was just getting his core subjects done well as he is a slow worker and doesn’t crave mental work. DS13 is a mental work hog so his academic load was higher as a 7th grader 11/12 year old. Best effort on a grouchy day is lower than best effort on a good day but work gets done.

 

PE doesn’t help for my kids but that has never helped my husband nor me either. Lots of planned social activities help both my husband and me, and my husband is an introvert. So I have a house of introverts who need planned social activities.

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited January 29, 2018 by rozes

[Insertcreativenamehere]

No ideas, but I'm right there with you with a grouchy 13 yo boy who "hates" school -- and never did up until a few months ago ... :(

[Julie Smith]

For the above I bolded, I was wondering what kinds of things you do for the adults? I think my dh may be more like you and your dh, but I have NO idea what kinds of things to do, being more of the less social introvert type.

 

Thanks.

My house rule is everyone has to be in two activites. For my Dh those have included:

 

West coast swing dancing. (I take it, so do our friends, he says it is fun when he is doing it, but not his favorite)

Artemis (kind of like everyone playing Star Trek. Everyone has their own laptop and they work together to fly a ship)

Japanese (classes at the university)

Board game night (we know various people who host weekly and or monthly board game nights)

Classes at the library. This coming month we will have 4, one hour classes where we learn how to use a 3D printer and print a ring.

Edited January 25, 2018 by Julie Smith

[Targhee]

My ds12 has gone through some major moody episodes in the last 18 months. Sometimes it's downright awful - rude, defiant, irascible, and he reacts as if everything is an insult or criticism. One thing that has helped is me giving a heap more empathy. Not caving in to his resistance to do work or his rudeness to his siblings, but instead of engaging in argument or correcting asking him, "What's up?" in as sincere and empathetic a way as possible. He is not a big talker, so it took some patience and repeated attempts (even suggestions like "do you feel like___?"). I acknowledge his feelings (e.g. "Ya, I can see how you would feel that way"), ask him for input, pump him up in front of others (e.g. "Hey Dad, ds today helped figure out this part of the music I have been working on"), and pour on the (genuine) praise. Not only did this help with his mood, it also helped me figure out some things I didn't realize were bugging him and I could address that. The wonderful bonus effect was, now that he was feeling connected and better understood/respected, he is also showing more respect and taking greater initiative and responsibility. He's still a 12 year old boy needing reminders and patience with forgotten things and hurried jobs, but I get such better response if I have to call him back to his work for anything. And I have learned to let some annoying but probably inconsequential things go.

 

I know that there are probably other variables at play, but this is one I can easily identify coinciding with his change in disposition.

 

At least with me it I had to change my perspective on what was going on: "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." Thomas S Monson

[idnib]

SWB's advice of picking either a snack, a shower, a nap, or exercise hasn't failed me yet. A few times we've needed to combine a couple of those. It's a given in our work now that if I tell them to choose one they know they're being grouchy, are going to take a break, and are expected to rejoin with a better attitude after the concession to growth spurts and hormones.

[Arcadia]

For the above I bolded, I was wondering what kinds of things you do for the adults? I think my dh may be more like you and your dh, but I have NO idea what kinds of things to do, being more of the less social introvert type.

My husband has enjoyed band while in school. As an adult he has enjoyed

biweekly tennis meetups with his friends,

vacations that has a fixed/planned itinerary (he can’t do free and easy),

work related conferences that involved a hotel stay,

food meet ups with friends,

me planning something for him every weekend (he doesn’t like to do the planning but likes having schedules/plans to follow)

 

He likes meeting new people and chatting but in limited blocks of time. My kids are similar to my husband while I was working in marketing.

[bethben]

 

Ds12 is in school part time. He has social interaction difficulties (think aspie like, though he doesn't have that diagnosis) so even though he is around peers a lot he isn't actually doing a lot of interacting.

 

 

You and I must have the same child...mine is 13.  He has school part time (one day a week and 2 other outside classes on T/TR).  He also may be an aspie and I have NO IDEA HOW TO MOTIVATE HIM!!!!  He doesn't write down assignments correctly if they're spoken to him and doesn't even write them down correctly if they are on the board.  I asked him why can't he do that simple thing.  He responded, "Why should I have to pay attention to something I'm not interested in?"  I don't want to homeschool this child but in no way do I see him being successful in a public school setting without an IEP or modifications.  I'm about ready to scream right now.  He's a nice kid overall, but I have no idea what to do.  

[Targhee]

You and I must have the same child...mine is 13. He has school part time (one day a week and 2 other outside classes on T/TR). He also may be an aspie and I have NO IDEA HOW TO MOTIVATE HIM!!!! He doesn't write down assignments correctly if they're spoken to him and doesn't even write them down correctly if they are on the board. I asked him why can't he do that simple thing. He responded, "Why should I have to pay attention to something I'm not interested in?" I don't want to homeschool this child but in no way do I see him being successful in a public school setting without an IEP or modifications. I'm about ready to scream right now. He's a nice kid overall, but I have no idea what to do.

We don't have an asd diagnosis, but we do have ADHD and anxiety and social struggles which all together look like aspergers. I found this recent,y and was thinking about maybe watching the videos for ideas - https://www.aspergerexperts.com

[wintermom]

I'm right in the same trench as you are with an almost 14 year old son and an almost 12 year old son. They bicker with each other, and the older son has a very laid-back personality and he has always been the one to duck and hide from any work he wasn't interested in. He's relatively compliant, but it's still a lot of work for me to keep him going in his school work and music practice. Health issues have been plaguing us this year, too. He may have sleep apnea, so knowing whether he is getting effective sleep is a real challenge.

 

All this to say, you are not alone. If you find something that works, please share! ;)  I think I'll try the subject check-list again on the white board. That has been useful for us in the past. 

 

 

[wintermom]

You and I must have the same child...mine is 13.  He has school part time (one day a week and 2 other outside classes on T/TR).  He also may be an aspie and I have NO IDEA HOW TO MOTIVATE HIM!!!!  He doesn't write down assignments correctly if they're spoken to him and doesn't even write them down correctly if they are on the board.  I asked him why can't he do that simple thing.  He responded, "Why should I have to pay attention to something I'm not interested in?"  I don't want to homeschool this child but in no way do I see him being successful in a public school setting without an IEP or modifications.  I'm about ready to scream right now.  He's a nice kid overall, but I have no idea what to do.  

 

That's such a perfectly logical answer!    ;)   Wouldn't life be grand if we could exist with like that? 

 

I'm pretty sure my boys have tried out that line on me. I usually say that I'm not interested in buying more cereal and milk. That tends to hit home pretty quick. 

Edited January 26, 2018 by wintermom

[Pen]

Might you both do better if he went to a BMS school?  Or if he doesn't want to might that be something that could be the stick part of the carrot and stick if he doesn't do what he needs to do?

 

My ds got into phases around age 12 like that where best motivator was to get what needed to be done done, and then there'd be free time.  Sometimes special activities that he'd get to choose.

 

But I think reality is that my ds is not "into" academics.  He's much more a hands-on doer. A builder. A tinkerer. An athlete. Helping repair drywall makes him happy.  Homework makes him unhappy.  Well, except maybe for Spanish which he likes a lot, and he had liked German in homeschool.  Maybe some whole other route would have been better if I could have found it.  If it existed.  Such as apprenticing to the local _____  blacksmith, printer, ???, a couple hundred years ago.  He's now in BMS which doesn't solve the motivation etc. issue.  What it does do is change my role from what it was to just mom.  Like I suspect he has a 3 page paper to do this weekend that he has not started on.  I offered him help a few hours ago.  It is easier to be able to offer some help, but the grade or repercussions if he does not do his work will ultimately come from a teacher at school, rather than to feel responsible for educating him.  It makes me relatively more his ally, and less the bad-guy.  Not entirely.  I wish we had a good tech school type option locally.  Don't know if this might fit your ds at all too.  Anyway, if it does, you might look to see if your area offers any alternatives to std. academics, or if you can come up with a homeschool plan that is different.

 

I read SWB's Rethinking, and she apparently had one of 4 boys who, seemingly similarly to my ds, and maybe to yours also?, was not academically motivated.  Apparently they went with the usual WTM approach, but she seemed to indicate that she thinks it might have been better for this son not to have.

 

 

[maize]

Might you both do better if he went to a BMS school? Or if he doesn't want to might that be something that could be the stick part of the carrot and stick if he doesn't do what he needs to do?

 

My ds got into phases around age 12 like that where best motivator was to get what needed to be done done, and then there'd be free time. Sometimes special activities that he'd get to choose.

 

But I think reality is that my ds is not "into" academics. He's much more a hands-on doer. A builder. A tinkerer. An athlete. Helping repair drywall makes him happy. Homework makes him unhappy. Well, except maybe for Spanish which he likes a lot, and he had liked German in homeschool. Maybe some whole other route would have been better if I could have found it. If it existed. Such as apprenticing to the local _____ blacksmith, printer, ???, a couple hundred years ago. He's now in BMS which doesn't solve the motivation etc. issue. What it does do is change my role from what it was to just mom. Like I suspect he has a 3 page paper to do this weekend that he has not started on. I offered him help a few hours ago. It is easier to be able to offer some help, but the grade or repercussions if he does not do his work will ultimately come from a teacher at school, rather than to feel responsible for educating him. It makes me relatively more his ally, and less the bad-guy. Not entirely. I wish we had a good tech school type option locally. Don't know if this might fit your ds at all too. Anyway, if it does, you might look to see if your area offers any alternatives to std. academics, or if you can come up with a homeschool plan that is different.

 

I read SWB's Rethinking, and she apparently had one of 4 boys who, seemingly similarly to my ds, and maybe to yours also?, was not academically motivated. Apparently they went with the usual WTM approach, but she seemed to indicate that she thinks it might have been better for this son not to have.

I've looked into schools, in fact just visited one this past week.

 

For a variety of reasons I think it would take an unusual school for him to thrive. My primary goal for all my kids is good mental health and his is pretty fragile.

 

He does like the two day a week program he is in but it is a very atypical setting.

Edited January 28, 2018 by maize

[eternalsummer]

My 12 year old is self-motivated but my 9 year old is profoundly unmotivated for academics and I suspect will still be when he is 12.  

 

What I do with him, which might or might not work when he is 12, is fool him into thinking that everything except math and to some degree writing are not really school.  This is easier at 9 than at 12, though.  

 

For math, which is also my sticking point - must be done every day - here is what we do.  First, we do it every day except Sunday, no exceptions ever.  This helps.  Second, I've switched, against my will, to a program he likes more than the ones he liked less, although I still insist on some of the harder bits occasionally.  So we used to do Math Mammoth, which I like but he found stressful as handwriting is difficult for him and I was past the age of being willing to scribe math.  We also did Beast Academy maybe twice a week.  Now we do Teaching Textbooks (I know, I know) and Beast Academy once a week or so.  He is a kid who, with math, only needs to be presented the material once and it sticks, so TT isn't a bad fit.  The way I get him to do it is this: no computer time until math is done.  There are the rare days on which he would rather just skip math and not get to play minecraft or this tanks shooting each other games he likes or whatever, but for the most part he concedes.  On the days he would prefer to skip it, I don't particularly care because A. We do math 300 days a year and B. he spends his time doing things other than Tanks Battle Each Other For An Hour, which I prefer anyway.  Sometimes, esp. if I feel he needs a break or an indulgence, I let him play math games online for half an hour or so instead of doing a TT lesson.  These largely consist of facts practice/drill.

 

The no computer before schoolwork rule applies to everyone, but DD12 is self-motivated enough not to need it anyway.

 

 

The way I get writing done is that I have approximately 2 dozen kids (fine, 6) and run a business, so one-on-one time with Mom is at a premium.  Writing is one-on-one time with Mom, I often scribe, and he doesn't hate the program. (Classical Writing).  We have gone through a lot of writing programs to find one we both like.  

 

 

So I guess I would say, you could try tying it to something he really likes but that is not non-negotiable like the extracurriculars (these are never non-negotiable for me either, largely because I pay good $ for them).  Alternatively, you could try to find a program he either really likes or that he doesn't even recognize as schoolwork (this is hard at 12, I know).

 

 

Finally, I think that for many kids, middle school is a time to shore up academic skills and develop some executive function skills instead of pushing forward academically.  I know DD12, who is an excellent student, took more than a year at Pre-A (really almost 2 years) from the middle of 5th until about a month from now, partly because abstract concepts just weren't sticking well.  I finally backed off of the harder curricula for non-preferred subjects (AoPS), which she was doing gamely but took 2 hours a day and she still wasn't really remembering or understanding, to something easier (Dolciani's Pre-A) and it has gone much more smoothly.

[maize]

 

 

Finally, I think that for many kids, middle school is a time to shore up academic skills and develop some executive function skills instead of pushing forward academically.  I know DD12, who is an excellent student, took more than a year at Pre-A (really almost 2 years) from the middle of 5th until about a month from now, partly because abstract concepts just weren't sticking well.  I finally backed off of the harder curricula for non-preferred subjects (AoPS), which she was doing gamely but took 2 hours a day and she still wasn't really remembering or understanding, to something easier (Dolciani's Pre-A) and it has gone much more smoothly.

 

 

Ooh, I love this way of looking at things!

[cintinative]

This thread is needed for me right now. My 12 year old is becoming someone I don't recognize. He used to power through his school to get done. Now he just sits there staring at the pile as if he were willing it to go away. He cries a lot and can't explain why he is crying. His mind is sometimes foggier than I am used to. All school is officially stupid except for the random book I assign that he actually likes.

 

I know this is a phase and I need to be patient and loving toward him through it, but it does help to hear others are dealing with the same things. 

 

Not to derail this thread, but my child keeps waking up earlier and can't go back to sleep. They are not allowed out of bed until 7:15 but he is waking up at 6 something and can't go back to sleep. He is clearly overtired most days but I don't know what to do. They are in bed with lights out by 9:15 every night with no screens for at least 30 minutes before bed.  I could put him to bed earlier?? He won't nap.

Edited January 29, 2018 by cintinative

[Pen]

btw, my ds is now 15 and I recall that when he was around 12 there were several "12 year old boys" threads about similar problems that you might be able to find now

[prairiewindmomma]

I have one of those. He earns points towards STEAM games. 

 

We're also planning on reworking our landscaping this spring.  My now-16 year old built landscape beds for me when he was 12.  He moved a literal ton of soil and 5 cubic yards of mulch as part of the reworking.  The physical labor was really good for him.

[Arcadia]

He used to power through his school to get done. Now he just sits there staring at the pile as if he were willing it to go away. He cries a lot and can't explain why he is crying. His mind is sometimes foggier than I am used to.

Growth spurt?

My DS13 makes mistakes on work if he doesn’t get enough sleep and food. My DS12 has always been a slow worker but is even slower during growth spurts.

 

We didn’t have the crying fits but fish oil supplements help with my kids meltdowns ever since they were toddlers. Food and moods has a strong correlation for my kids. A cup of warm cocoa works wonders.

 

My DS13 was doing nothing much but eating and sleeping for two periods of growth spurts. His bones literally hurt. He had a similar period of growth spurt in kindergarten. My DS12 has milder growing pains as his growth spurt is more gradual.

 

My boys brain fog started after their “12 years molars†came in and growth spurt started.

[Targhee]

Growth spurt?

My DS13 makes mistakes on work if he doesn’t get enough sleep and food. My DS12 has always been a slow worker but is even slower during growth spurts.

 

We didn’t have the crying fits but fish oil supplements help with my kids meltdowns ever since they were toddlers. Food and moods has a strong correlation for my kids. A cup of warm cocoa works wonders.

 

My DS13 was doing nothing much but eating and sleeping for two periods of growth spurts. His bones literally hurt. He had a similar period of growth spurt in kindergarten. My DS12 has milder growing pains as his growth spurt is more gradual.

 

My boys brain fog started after their “12 years molars†came in and growth spurt started.

When I first hear the idea of dental events coinciding with cognitive development I laughed it off as quackery.  But you know what, there really is something to this.  And it makes sense from a hormone standpoint as well - those same hormones that affect tooth shedding and eruption effect other bone growth and development, as well as other development of the body.  The development of the body usually coincides with a later change in cognitive development.  So, hold on to hope.  And work on executive skills and physical skills.

[cintinative]

When I first hear the idea of dental events coinciding with cognitive development I laughed it off as quackery.  But you know what, there really is something to this.  And it makes sense from a hormone standpoint as well - those same hormones that affect tooth shedding and eruption effect other bone growth and development, as well as other development of the body.  The development of the body usually coincides with a later change in cognitive development.  So, hold on to hope.  And work on executive skills and physical skills.

 

 

Mine still doesn't have his 12 year molars so this scares me a little!  =)