MommyLiberty5013 Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Do you ever feel wound too tightly to care about every little thing in life and whether it has the potential to kill our cells and harm us? I've got friends who won't do dental x-rays, won't drink city water, won't vaccinate, won't use hand soap (better to just use water or go without), won't eat certain things, drink out of glass only and the list seriously goes on into cleaning supplies, cosmetics, and now I'm reading people get worried about screen printed t shirts. To me, worried about every little thing getting me in some way is no way to live. Just my feeling though. I'm not talking about allergies (those are real and often serious), I'm just thinking about my one friend who won't let her DD wash her hands at preschool bc the soap has an additive she disapproves of..... How do you function if at every turn you're worried about getting gotten by an unseen chemical monster. It boggles my mind so enlighten me. I just think we do what we can to be healthy, take things in stride and aside from allergies we go with the flow. Or not? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Yes, this is why I am a MUCH better mom of 3 than I was a mom of 1. Moms of many don't have the psychic energy to obsess about every. single. pickayune. thing. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I just triage my concerns and assess risk based on likelihood of it causing my problems. Most people can do this but those prone to anxiety and OCD issues can be impaired in this mental filtering and their brains get stuck there. If you see someone who is crossing the line from selective to obsessive I'd not judge them too harshly and assume they had much control. Their issues could very well be driving them and not the other way around. They deserve compassion and help, not scorn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 A lot of that stuff is just getting into habits that the person feels are healthier and once they are established, you just go back to autopilot like everyone else. We end up eating a lot of stuff and doing a lot of stuff we wouldn't normally eat and do while we travel. Then back to home, back to glass and stainless steel Everything and mostly organic or local farm food. Except not handwashing ?! That's nasty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 no way to live. I knew a guy who lived a very healthy lifestyle - and dropped dead while running. he was in his 30s. I've known other's who tried to control their life to the smallest detail. I think it's about anxiety, and one way anxiety manifests is about control. the reality is - you can't control everything. things happen. as the old saying goes . . . life is what happens while you're making other plans. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 I have no idea. I have very pale kids with a family history of skin cancer. If they're going to die, it's going to be the sun screen that I slather all over them that kills them. Because apparently that's poisonous. :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 Bet you a dollar that the teachers roll their eyes and make her kid wash her hands anyway. Who has time to remember that nonsense? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 We screw this up as soon as we are born. Being born is the #1 cause of eventual death. 100% of the time. :laugh: 28 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 If you try to follow all the various "recommendations" you won't have time to live your life. And that's if you stick with one source and don't wind up with contradictory recommendations - like sunscreen/no sunscreen, deet/ticks, etc. I try to just go with the biggies all the time - carseats/seatbelts, smoke detectors, etc. The rest of it, I shoot for the 80/20. If we eat pretty healthy and clean 80% of the time, I count it as good. Sunscreen is probably a slightly higher percentage since fair skinned kids with lots of congenital moles makes that a "risk" worth taking. Deet is another one we go with since we are in a big Lyme area, live in the woods, and go camping. I will say I absolutely HATE those memes about "I survived the 70's with lead paint, no seatbelts, riding in the back of pick-up trucks, blah blah blah". I mean, we don't need to go nuts but some things changed because of all the kids who didn't survive and it's clear why they are a not good idea. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Oh, I can't stand those memes either. Have those people ever heard of "survivorship bias"? (No, no they have not.) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I finally had to tell my sister that if I banned everything she has decided would kill us, I would be naked in a snowstorm eating organic celery and drinking distilled water as my only source of sustenance while waiting for either hypothermia or starvation to take me. All you can do is exercise rational thought, contemplate your genetics, and do what makes sense for your family and then stop worrying about it because worrying causes stress, stress causes high blood pressure,and adrenal failure all of which will, gosh darn it, kill you! Everyone needs to try to enjoy life. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I had a thought - you might give this woman a copy of the petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide :smilielol5: . .. who knows, it might even educate her about how things are worded matter, and how words can be twisted to fearmonger. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoutingmom Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I had a thought - you might give this woman a copy of the petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide :smilielol5: . .. who knows, it might even educate her about how things are worded matter, and how words can be twisted to fearmonger.It is amazing how many things this is in and added to... and usually hidden by using other names! :) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommyLiberty5013 Posted July 22, 2017 Author Share Posted July 22, 2017 I had a thought - you might give this woman a copy of the petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide :smilielol5: . .. who knows, it might even educate her about how things are worded matter, and how words can be twisted to fearmonger. Tee hee hee. I stared at those words for a few seconds. Got it! That's funny. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 We are pretty conscious about avoiding products and experiences that are harmful. I think everyone is this way to a degree: all of you wear seatbelts, right? And probably have your kids in car seats until at least 2-3. That's not a crazy thing to do that you have to worry about all the time - it's just something you get in the habit of doing, and it is no big deal. Because we live in a society where science and "progress" are often outpacing the time we need to see the results of new products and new ideas, we've chosen to be conservative on the whole, both socially and environmentally. It doesn't cause a lot of stress and it doesn't take any more time than buckling your seatbelt :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeLovePassion Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I had a thought - you might give this woman a copy of the petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide :smilielol5: . .. who knows, it might even educate her about how things are worded matter, and how words can be twisted to fearmonger. There are a few YouTube videos where people were trying to get others on board with this. Super funny. Just search dihydrogen monoxide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) There are a few YouTube videos where people were trying to get others on board with this. Super funny. Just search dihydrogen monoxide. In vapour form, it would be a greenhouse gas, wouldn't it? ;) Nasty stuff. Edited July 22, 2017 by wintermom 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I think one of the advantages of starting my parenting just as the internet was exploding is that I haven't been bombarded all at once, so I don't get as overwhelmed as a newer mom might today. I definitely lean toward "natural" products (which may or may not fit others' definitions of "natural"), but I don't really obsess over it. I think most public restrooms have disgusting soap, but we use it anyway. I think plastic probably isn't the healthiest, so we have glass and use less plastic (not none.) We use sunblock, but every time we walk out the door. We use DEET, but only when we're at the highest risk. (We're at some risk every time we walk out the door.) We eat junky and/or processed foods, but in limited amount. I like the balance I've struck, and we always work toward improving the various things we do, but not in a way that negatively impacts our daily lives. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Everybody thinks they are striking a healthy balance for where they are in their lives right now, guys. And they are right/who cares. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I only have so much time and energy. I do what I can reasonably do with sanity and forget the rest. Stress kills and I am not Wonder Woman. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Do you ever feel wound too tightly to care about every little thing in life and whether it has the potential to kill our cells and harm us? I've got friends who won't do dental x-rays, won't drink city water, won't vaccinate, won't use hand soap (better to just use water or go without), won't eat certain things, drink out of glass only and the list seriously goes on into cleaning supplies, cosmetics, and now I'm reading people get worried about screen printed t shirts. To me, worried about every little thing getting me in some way is no way to live. Just my feeling though. I'm not talking about allergies (those are real and often serious), I'm just thinking about my one friend who won't let her DD wash her hands at preschool bc the soap has an additive she disapproves of..... How do you function if at every turn you're worried about getting gotten by an unseen chemical monster. It boggles my mind so enlighten me. I just think we do what we can to be healthy, take things in stride and aside from allergies we go with the flow. Or not? It's interesting, because DH and I were just talking about something like this. One of his friends has become uncomfortable with his children swimming in "the creek" - a natural body of water all the kids swim in when they go to a particular fun location. This friend is concerned that bacteria will "go in through his ear and eat his brain." There has been such a thing happen in the world, yes. But seriously? The kids are never going to swim in the creek again because the water is not sterilized? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Sometimes I feel too worried. I am glad I am not a new mom today. I remember when baby Jessica fell down that well. How the country watched and worried and cried for the parents. Today the internet would be ripping those parents apart for their carelessness and how they deserved this. Everything has become a competition. Who is the purest parent. Oh,you use antibacterial soap. Oh, you packed little Debbie snack cakes for your child. Gasp! You let your 10 year old have one glass of soda on pizza night. We never use conventional produce. Organic only. Lysol! That's agent orange in a can. Formula, poison in a can. Feingold diet, gluten free diet, no dairy-no gluten-soy free-egg free-no nightshades diet. Air diet. Tofu and yams at midnight only diet. Vegan is the only ethical and right diet. It makes my head spin. I can no longer live my life like this. When my kids were little I was a bit of a diet control freak. It gave me some level of comfort that I had control over this. To a degree, I think it paid off. When ds was hit by a car while riding his bike when he was 10 he didn't break anything. Just a very bad bruised bone. I like to say it was healthy diet even though it was probably dumb luck. Living like that becomes it's own kind of prison. I know there is a word now for people obsessed with clean eating. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 It's interesting, because DH and I were just talking about something like this. One of his friends has become uncomfortable with his children swimming in "the creek" - a natural body of water all the kids swim in when they go to a particular fun location. This friend is concerned that bacteria will "go in through his ear and eat his brain." There has been such a thing happen in the world, yes. But seriously? The kids are never going to swim in the creek again because the water is not sterilized? Hey, from Florida where that amoeba is more common. If you're not in the deep south people usually get it in public pools that are improperly sanitized. Kids who get it in Florida are nearly always at a natural spring, playing in the very shallow warm water beach area that is built for little kids. The amoeba apparently isn't active unless it's hot, and the water comes up from the springs at 72 degrees (too cold for amoebas). So as long as the creek is cold and kids aren't rolling their ears and nose in the warm water at the edge, there is no danger of brain eating amoebas there. Even in Florida you typically only hear about them after a stretch of unusually hot weather. For Florida. In summer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertstrawberry5 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I was that mom. Heck. My second kid didn't wear diapers. Never touched a drop of formula (because he had deadly allergies). Only had organic, all natural, animal free baby products. Lived in a wrap 100% of the time (colic). soy free vegan (allergies and after effects of hyperemesis). No plastics in our food, No toxic chemicals in our house, no disposable products in our home. It was normal in our circles. It did not seem weird to live this way. I made one large Vitacost order each month. I bought our food at an open air produce market and a health food store. They had great prices and excellent quality. Homemade cleaning products were far cheaper. We saved a ton of money by not throwing stuff away. And my baby was relatively healthy. He survived, and he did not need continuing medical intervention after the NICU. We beat the odds. I had reasons for doing what I did, just as I have reasons for not doing those things now. I was not foolish or stupid. I was not racked by anxiety over every detail. I did not criticize what my friends fed their children, nor did they judge me. We shared openly and lovingly and we all had the goal of doing our best for our families. BTW, I hate the dihydrogen monoxide jokes. Mockery is not nice. Those jokes downplay some very real concerns that some people have over actual real problems. Nothing shuts down a conversation faster than trying to humiliate the other side. But that's the point, isn't it? To laugh at people you think are not as smart as you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 At least with food (which is what we are most careful about, for largely moral but also health reasons), it's not any harder to buy a certain brand of bread or some fruits and not others or whatever - you get very used to shopping for the same products every week, much like everyone does. We don't own plastic dishes, but that is not a big deal - we just didn't buy them, we bought something else. It's not something we have to think about all the time. We only buy natural fiber clothing, for the most part, but that is easy as most clothing is still cotton - we buy 99% used, and I know the brand ahead of time to look for on Ebay (or I just cruise the children's resale store and read the tags - fabric content is easy to see, normally). I am trying to think of something that takes more time or anxiety but I can't. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Oh, here is one: drinking water. We don't want to drink industrial or agricultural run-off, or chemicals from pharmaceuticals (birth control pills, uppers, downers, whatever), or any of that. For a while we drank bottled spring water but the plastic wasn't ideal and we didn't like not having the fluoride. Thus, where we live (for the last few years) has been restricted to places with clean tap water. That is a bit of a pain, but lots of people have different requirements for the places they're willing to live, so it's not much different than say wanting to live near the ocean or in a big city or away from snakes or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Thank you for saying this. It applies to so many things, including those beyond the scope of this thread. Mockery is not nice. Those jokes downplay some very real concerns that some people have over actual real problems. Nothing shuts down a conversation faster than trying to humiliate the other side. But that's the point, isn't it? To laugh at people you think are not as smart as you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 I don't pay a whole lot of attention to all the "things that could kill us" to be honest, but one thought I did have and I need to ask those who perhaps have studied this more..... what are all these things supposed to do to us?? Specifically? Cause an early death?? Dementia?? Cancer?? What?? If we stay away from all that, we're supposed to .... what?? Live till we're 100 years old?? I guess the reason I ask is this..,,my dad had 2 stints in a nursing home this year for rehab. And I can tell you, if an person is eating healthy and staying away from all that stuff just so they can live long and then wind up in there....no way!! And it was a very nice nursing home, caring staff, etc. But aging is a fact of life and dementia and all that can have organic, or genetic causes. My dad's circulatory system is like a cement wall, and the doctor says it has nothing to do with his lifestyle, which has always been fairly clean and healthy. I guess what I'm saying is, I can see the need to keep your weight under control, non-smoking, moderate alcohol consumption, exercise, that sort of thing, to me the results of those actions are very obvious and tangible and measurable. But I'm just not sure about all the other stuff..... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Last year I was searching for Phisoderm soap in the green bottle--finally the pharmacist told me that it isn't available anymore because it causes cancer. He said, oh yeah you can't get mercurochrome either--it causes cancer. Since that was the "go to" first aid when we fell of our bike (we were riding through the neighborhood unsupervised), it is amazing my friends and I are still alive.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 BTW, I hate the dihydrogen monoxide jokes. Mockery is not nice. Those jokes downplay some very real concerns that some people have over actual real problems. Nothing shuts down a conversation faster than trying to humiliate the other side. But that's the point, isn't it? To laugh at people you think are not as smart as you. I don't know that I agree. Pointing out how absurd it is to fear chemicals or ingredients with hard-to-pronounce names is not necessarily mockery. I also think professional fearmongers like Food Babe deserve derision for deceiving people with pseudoscience and preying on people's ignorance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 Ha, one of my adult kids is a chemist. He'll tell me what's in stuff and whether he thinks it's something to worry about (rarely). I only avoid things if I've had a definite reaction. Aspartame makes me dizzy and weak, so no diet or artificially flavored drinks for my family. A few medications have caused a bad reaction and some kinds of cleaning supplies cause fatigue and headaches, so I know that certain chemicals probably are harmful, at least to me. I just can't get too excited about plastic or soap or sunscreen. I'm just doing the best I can because so many things have been said to cause cancer. I think we still don't have a clue what causes cancer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 (edited) The flip side of this of course who live as if nothing will kill you or make your life measurably more terrible. Not sugar, not lead, not riding a motorcycle on the freeway in t shirt and shorts, not plastic in the bread, not Mercury in fish, not boating without life jackets... Not smoking... Edited July 22, 2017 by OKBud Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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