Jenny in Florida Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Okay, my husband is impossible to buy for. Impossible. He even admits it. Basically, if we can afford something and he wants it, he buys it for himself. For example, in just the past year, he has bought himself an IPod, a small stereo and a big-screen TV. And the additional wrinkle is that, since I don't earn a paycheck, it feels just plain silly for me to go out and spend the money he earned on something for him and call that a gift. Oh yeah, and he dislikes "practical" gifts such as clothing. In previous years, I always made something for him, but I think I've mined that about as much as possible. He already has a collection of polos on which I stitched something cute. At this point, the very last thing he needs is another piece of cross-stitching to hang on the wall. (We haven't even gotten around to hanging most of the stuff we already own since we moved into this house over a year ago.) And, since we live in Florida, there's a limit to how much crochet is meaningful. I've also had the kids make various things for him--personalized calendars, framed photos, etc. But, again, I'm afraid the well has run dry on those, especially now that the kids are older. One year, I just gave him a few small things and "permission" to go buy any big, stupid piece of electronics he wanted with the promise that I would never make fun of him about it. He bought himself a nice laptop and was happy. However, when I tried to repeat the idea another year, he had his feelings hurt. And that's the crux of this. He has made it clear that he has been disappointed and hurt by the lack of "real presents" for his birthday and Christmas recently. I admit to a certain amount of irritation about this, since I'm not big into gifts myself and kind of wish he'd "grow up." However, this is who he is, and I would like to make him happy, if I can figure out how. Plus, from a selfish point of view, the last couple of years have been absolutely miserable as I trudged from place to place looking desperately for SOMEthing to give him. So, help? Here's what I've got: I have an $80 gift/reward card from Office Max that I could use. I also have enough points to claim a $10 gift card from Borders, B&N or Target. I'm willing to put in some time to make or embellish something, but I'm out of ideas. And my eyesight has started to deteriorate to a point that makes cross-stitching and other detail-oriented crafts difficult. So, really, help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 My dh really appreciates when I track down obscure things he's interested in. For example, a year and a half ago he heard The Fuschia Band perform a song he really liked. He kept singing the chorus of it for days afterwards, although he had the words mixed up. I managed to figure out that the song was Joyce Country Ceili Band and it was actually performed by The Saw Doctors, and got him a CD that had the song on it. He was thrilled. Inexpensive, but took hours of research on my part. And he played it about a bazillion times on Christmas Day. Another time I tracked down all of a series of books he liked, several of which had gone out of print. I secretly amassed them over the course of several weeks. Again, he was so excited to have a set. Still to come: Several years ago he heard a recording of Thelma Houston and the Pressure Cookers singing I Got the Music in Me. Someday I'll find it. In the meantime, I'm making flannel jammie pants for him this year, and the kids will help -- not a real Florida type of gift, but just right for us Northerners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 What about a family photo? My mom used to take us to someplace like Olan Mills, not terribly expensive, but have a pic taken of the three of us kids for my dad. She did that at least 2 or 3 times. If you did it every year or every other, you'd have a great collection of family photos that you could reminisce over. I am contemplating getting my dh a University of Michigan grill cover for Christmas. Laugh all you want! :lol: He needs a new grill cover, and we're UM grads, so I think it will be great. It's about $70 in the Potpourri catalog. Here is the link. They have college and NFL teams available. What about a photo book? They're not terribly expensive. You can do them through Shutterfly or any of the online photo sites. They're not hard, either. You just upload some photos and stick them in their template. I think you can add text, too. So, if you have some great vacation pics or just some fun family memories, that would be fun. If he has a place to hang it, you could also make a poster with pictures for his office or to hang at home. I saw someone make back to school posters for her kids and have them laminated at Office Max. They were really neat. You could crochet a cover for his laptop. If you Google it there are all kinds of free patterns. They're not terribly dorky looking, either, actually. I thought they would be, but they can be pretty cool! Learn to knit. Make him some sock. Get Mom2legomanicas to tell you about the Widdershins pattern on Knitty. That will inspire you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 ... I'm making flannel jammie pants for him this year, and the kids will help -- not a real Florida type of gift, but just right for us Northerners. You could make some out of lighter material! There are all kinds of manly fabrics available and they are NOT hard to sew. You could probably find college or pro team fabrics to use. My dh likes to have PJ pants like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Once Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Oh, you do have it bad. Are you sure you are not my hubbie, posting in disguise? ;) Is there something you could give that was not an item since it seems you have frustration levels over that. You could give a date night out once a month or permission to go hunting for a weekend. Every marriage has these little issues...like one spouse needing a cleaner home or getting a home repair done. They aren't really items but require effort from you so they are a gift. Maybe, you could look into a donation to a worthy cause in his name. Maybe he doesn't want it but he needs it. kwim? A family photo would be nice and perhaps a surprise if you do it in secret. Buy him some lingerie for yourself for his gift. If he has everything he needs then go for what he wants. :D That way you both win! I think it is admirable of you to see beyond your obvious frustrations and still give generously. Kudos to you! That's what the Christmas spirit is about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 My dh really appreciates when I track down obscure things he's interested in. . . . I'm making flannel jammie pants for him this year, and the kids will help -- not a real Florida type of gift, but just right for us Northerners. Hmm. Unfortunately, he doesn't wear pajamas. And, also unfortunately, I can't think of anything he's interested in that's all that obscure. In previous years, I've tracked down and gotten for him books by favorite authors that he didn't know had been released and similar things. These days, though, he rarely reads much of anything, and he's not all that into music. I've also bought him the occasional Muppet-themed or Nightmare Before Christmas collectible, but we don't even display most of what we already own. What about a family photo? They have college and NFL teams available. What about a photo book? If he has a place to hang it, you could also make a poster with pictures for his office or to hang at home. You could crochet a cover for his laptop. Okay, we pretty much always get the kids' prictures taken in time to include them in our Christmas cards. So, the photo thing is probably redundant. He's not into sports of any kind and doesn't own (or want) a grill. The photo book thing is possible, except that I'm doing one for each of the kids, and he has been in on that. Also, he keeps pretty much all the family photos online and/or on the IPod and can look at them whenever he wants. So, again, probably redundant. We've already pretty much filled his office with photos and doo-dads. He keeps the laptop at home, usually tucked under the couch when he's not using it, and has a bag he uses when he does take it on the road. He's really picky about totes for computers having the right amount of padding and so on, so I doubt he'd approve of anything I made. See? I told you he was impossible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Wow. You have it worse than I do. I can at least pull Michigan stuff out of my hat when I'm desperate. He doesn't have to *sleep* in the pajama pants. He cannot walk around the house nekked all the time. They are *lounging* pants. Perhaps there is Muppet fabric out there somewhere. I'm sure I've at least seen Muppet Babies! :lol: I'm guessing he has all the Muppet Show DVDs? Because you know the entire series is out there now. We gave the "greatest hits" series and we're now collecting the whole series. We heart the Muppets here too. Or, how about Fraggles? If he likes Muppets, perhaps he would like to branch out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 This describes my parents.... DH doesnt' WANT gifts and is pissy when you ask him. Never mind the kids WANT to get him something. It stinks. That isn't true.... he wants a bow - but won't be happy with the $300 one we could easily save for over time - NOOOOO, he wants the $750 one :glare: How about a super remote that does it all? The logitech Harmony kind that you can program on the computer? I'm getting my Dad some odds and ends from Levenger that he'd not be apt to get himself. Does he get a catalog that you can see if there is something in there? Any hobbies that we can dream up something for? I feel your pain though... i live your pain..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagnfun Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Okay, my husband is impossible to buy for. Impossible. He even admits it. Basically, if we can afford something and he wants it, he buys it for himself. For example, in just the past year, he has bought himself an IPod, a small stereo and a big-screen TV. And the additional wrinkle is that, since I don't earn a paycheck, it feels just plain silly for me to go out and spend the money he earned on something for him and call that a gift. Oh yeah, and he dislikes "practical" gifts such as clothing. In previous years, I always made something for him, but I think I've mined that about as much as possible. He already has a collection of polos on which I stitched something cute. At this point, the very last thing he needs is another piece of cross-stitching to hang on the wall. (We haven't even gotten around to hanging most of the stuff we already own since we moved into this house over a year ago.) And, since we live in Florida, there's a limit to how much crochet is meaningful. I've also had the kids make various things for him--personalized calendars, framed photos, etc. But, again, I'm afraid the well has run dry on those, especially now that the kids are older. One year, I just gave him a few small things and "permission" to go buy any big, stupid piece of electronics he wanted with the promise that I would never make fun of him about it. He bought himself a nice laptop and was happy. However, when I tried to repeat the idea another year, he had his feelings hurt. And that's the crux of this. He has made it clear that he has been disappointed and hurt by the lack of "real presents" for his birthday and Christmas recently. I admit to a certain amount of irritation about this, since I'm not big into gifts myself and kind of wish he'd "grow up." However, this is who he is, and I would like to make him happy, if I can figure out how. Plus, from a selfish point of view, the last couple of years have been absolutely miserable as I trudged from place to place looking desperately for SOMEthing to give him. So, help? Here's what I've got: I have an $80 gift/reward card from Office Max that I could use. I also have enough points to claim a $10 gift card from Borders, B&N or Target. I'm willing to put in some time to make or embellish something, but I'm out of ideas. And my eyesight has started to deteriorate to a point that makes cross-stitching and other detail-oriented crafts difficult. So, really, help? aside from all that, I recommend you read the 5 Love Languages. It may explain your hubby :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Wow. You have it worse than I do. I can at least pull Michigan stuff out of my hat when I'm desperate. He doesn't have to *sleep* in the pajama pants. He cannot walk around the house nekked all the time. They are *lounging* pants. Perhaps there is Muppet fabric out there somewhere. I'm sure I've at least seen Muppet Babies! :lol: Oh that would be a good idea! Muppet lounge pants ( a lady at teh town H Party the other night had Charlie Brown ones on :D). Can you ask him for a list? LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 He doesn't have to *sleep* in the pajama pants. He cannot walk around the house nekked all the time. They are *lounging* pants. I'm guessing he has all the Muppet Show DVDs? Or, how about Fraggles? If he likes Muppets, perhaps he would like to branch out. No, he doesn't walk around in the all-together. But he does usually just wear his jeans for comfort. He doesn't own the Muppet Show DVDs, but we've watched a few through Netflix. We realized a couple of years ago that we rarely watch most of the DVDs we own and so have pretty much stopped collecting. And he's not much of a Fraggles fan, although we do own a DVD or two. Can I tell you how often I've wished he did like sports or something similar? Because it would make this soooooooo much easier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 Is there something you could give that was not an item since it seems you have frustration levels over that. You could give a date night out once a month or permission to go hunting for a weekend. Maybe, you could look into a donation to a worthy cause in his name. Maybe he doesn't want it but he needs it. kwim? Gosh, I'm sounding like a broken record, and I'm probably also not creating a great impression of my husband, huh? He doesn't hunt or anything like it. His primary out-of-the-house activity is role-playing games, and he has a standing date with a group that plays more or less every other week. There is no tension about that; he's welcome to go out whenever he wishes to do so. We're not a "date night" kind of couple. We did try it for a while, but found we couldn't think of anything to do except talk about the kids. I was considering a charitable donation, except that I've hinted (strongly) that I would like him to do that for me the past couple of years. Also, we come back to the I-have-no-money-of-my-own thing. If he wants to make a donation to charity, he does so. Sigh. Thanks for the ideas, though. Please keep them coming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 How about a super remote that does it all? The logitech Harmony kind that you can program on the computer? Does he get a catalog that you can see if there is something in there? Any hobbies that we can dream up something for? He got a new do-it-all remote when he got the new TV. He doesn't get any catalogues. His only hobbies are gaming (computer and with the every-other-week group), watching TV and occasionally building model rockets with our son. He already has the software he uses for the computer gaming and has bought himself the neccesary books for the in-person sessions. He and our son buy rocket supplies regularly. See? Impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Apple TV? The Netflix Roko thing? This other cool thing i can't think of the name of? (helpful huh? :lol:) (all of which involve hitting him up for money though). Wander thru IKEA and find something cool? I'll keep thinking..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 See? Impossible. Are you SURE he's not my Dad? LOL!! What about about another RC type of project? We got my Dad a plane one year, and he has a tank to put together now (health problems hit right after he got it). Have you asked your son? There might be something he's mentioned that you haven't heard about. I could buy my DH a pair of flannel lined jeans that fit (he's a 31 waist right now and his are a 36) and he'd be happy! LOL!! He destroys clothes by not wearing the right stuff - so i can also normally count on him having burned a hole in his favorite "jacket" and replace that. Big bag of candy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 This is one idea for something different in the way of pictures...you make a picture mosaic. It's a photo made up of lots of tiny photos. Here is a website where you can download the software to do this free. http://www.andreaplanet.com/andreamosaic/ You use your own photos to do it. It's pretty easy..you have to have a bit of computer savvy but not a lot. I am making one for my Mom for her birthday and we're using it to make Christmas cards. The only cost is having the photo printed and getting a nice frame. Other ideas...what makes him happy? How about something to go along with some of his tech gadgets. Special speakers for his Ipod. A digital camera or gadgets to go with it. A Palm Pilot kind of thing. If he has that there are all kinds of software you could get him to go with it...I got my dh a map program one year that he loved. A new printer or a photo printer. Or...tickets to something? A play, a concert, a sporting event. Dinner at a nice restaurant you woudn't normally go to if he's a foodie kind of guy. Another idea that takes a lot of effort but is free is to write people that know him and ask them to send you something for a book you make for him. This could be pictures or letters saying why they love him or funny stories about him, etc. We did this for my SIL one year for her birthday and it was amazing. The key was to write everyone we could think of so we had stories and pictures from people she hadn't seen in a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcjlkplus3 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 My husband loves watching shows on dvd. This also provides unlimited wants. Does your husband have any favorite shows (currently or old)? We recently got the 1st season of The Muppet Show and the 1st season of Get Smart, he also likes Bones, Star Treks, Magnum PI. Is there a concert, play, sporting event he would like to go see? What about some of the other photo ideas like, coffee mugs, travel mugs, mouse pads, puzzles - Winkflash.com has a whole section on their website labeled "cool stuff". Maybe see if you can get one of the kids to get some pictures of the 2 of you together. My mom recently gathered together all sorts of pictures of her and my stepdad over the years (more than 20 years) and put them in a (large) frame on their wall - you could do a book instead or scan them and get a digital frame to hold them all - something to celebrate just the two of you over the years. I understand about wanting to make something, but I don't understand feeling silly about getting him something with the money that he brings home. You both work hard to support your family, you just don't get paid for it. I doubt your husband feels the same way about it that you do. I would talk to him about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Hmm. Unfortunately, he doesn't wear pajamas. For the record, dh doesn't wear pajamas either. The pants are for when he wants to walk around the house without startling any neighbors who happen to look in through the slider, etc. Sort of like a bathrobe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 What about a speaker system for his new tv? TIVO? I'd go walk around Circuit City or Best Buy and talk with the employees there. What about a digital camera? Garmin? Cell phone that connects to the internet? What about a vacation? Does he like to travel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emeraldjoy Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 You mentioned that on dates you find that you just talk about the kids; What about dancing lessons, hiking, beading, moviemaking, origami, painting, anything art through local museum, building something at Home Depot together, cooking classes, fly fishing classes, gardening classes, photography (you both seem to like photos), opera singing classes (HA, HA), sign language, etc, etc (you get the idea); something you can do together or learn together that engages you enough to converse about IT or something else, a new hobby. Our local adult learning center offers a ton of stuff. Good luck. e Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 This may be way out there for you, but some friends and I were talking about this just the other day. Something that came up, and that I'm seriously considering as a very special, private gift is having a 'boudoir' photograph done. Dh doesn't need anything that he doesn't get for himself. This is something that he couldn't get for himself - and it would really be putting myself way out there for him. Just an off the wall idea. Google boudoir photography - there are some really classy, beautiful works out there. BUT make sure your children aren't around! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Learn to knit. Make him some sock. Get Mom2legomanicas to tell you about the Widdershins pattern on Knitty. That will inspire you. Shoot, that reminds me -- dh would love a pair of handknit socks for Christmas. Or any time. Now I'm feeling guilty.:ack2: It helps that his boss's boss wears handknit socks. So he knows it's cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doran Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I have to qualify this by saying that I haven't read the other replies (sorry, this computer doesn't let me do that in Hybrid mode, and I'm too lazy otherwise). What we've done is to agree that some years there might not BE ANY GIFTS between us. We are not swimming in extra money (what an understatement!) Christmas is often a time of stress for us...or...rather, January is stressful, because that's when all the bills from the holidays come due. Ick! So, we kind of have an unwritten rule that unless there's a real need or want, or unless there's something inspiring to offer, we just don't offer. We'd rather splurge on a weekend away, or a dinner out, or something that we need for the house rather than expending time and money on a "must do" gift for Christmas. Dh recently remarked that he really wants a new gray "hoodie". He wore one for years when we were younger, until it got so trashed that he couldn't bear to be seen in it anymore. So, that's a really good idea. And, I just *might* pass that idea on to his mother, who always wants ideas anyhow. Which will leave me idea-less, scratching my head, and figuring it will be an off year - again. Is that something you and your dh could manage together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacquelyn in NC Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 She often makes a Gift Tree. She starts with a small table top-size Christmas tree and ties 20 or so gift slips onto it. They could be for a batch of his favorite cookies, a pass to get out of a chore of his choosing, a back massage, a visit to a cemetery (yes, my parents are weird -- this is their idea of a fun date:confused:), etc. The gifts don't have to cost much, if anything, but you can pick ones that mean something to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3Maidens Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 You usually get instructional time in the cockpit of the plane with the pilot and then actually get to fly the plane. Just a thought. Don't know if something like that is offered where you live or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Let's see. I made dh a neck pillow, a new rice sock (which he likes to heat up & put over his eyes when he has a headache), & matching pj bottoms for him & ds. I found a copy of an old movie he loved & got him a nice copy of LOTR. For your dh, if he likes role-playing games, would he like some kind of costumery to go w/ it? A cape or mask or something? I don't really know how that stuff works. One time I made dh coupons for things like getting to choose the movie we rent or a back rub or something. What about going to play role-playing games w/ him some time? Or a class to learn about creating games himself? That's a little out there, I know. You said he's not into sports but would he enjoy going to watch a game sometime anyway? What about a favorite board game from when he was a kid? My dh loves Axis & Allies, & one yr for his b'day, I invited enough guys over to play. They stayed overnight, & the dc stayed w/ ils, & dh got to play a full game of AA--which takes about 2 days. Most of all, *I* played w/ him, something I hadn't done since before we were married. GL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 We just don't do presents for each other at all. Quite a few years ago, we made it a "children only" thing. We only get gifts for our kids and nieces/nephews. The niece & nephews have a $20 limit so it's a pretty small symbolic gift. The children do not give us presents. The Christmas eve host & the christmas day dinner host gets some chocolates & whole bean coffee. That's IT. It's very liberating :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Bike &/or accessories for his bike? I just picked up a speedometer/odometer thing for dh's bike. Plus, he wants some other things like a headlight, a rack/baskets, etc.... Gift card for a go kart/racing track. There is an indoor one here (Andretti Racing) that we did for my dad once & he had a blast. What about a few sessions at a rock climbing place? Cooking school? New watch, maybe one of the atomic ones. Magazine subscription? Galileo thermometer. Something cool for the yard -- maybe one of those self-mowing machines? (Totally blanking on the name of that right now....) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 They often have really, really cool gadgets or desk clocks or desk sets of various sleek, modernistic designs. They have those stupid tube clocks that you need a PhD to read--a great conversation piece for an office, actually. That's always my last resort for my DH. However, I know what he wants--a lava lamp! And so do I! So I suspect that we are secretly each going to by one for the other and have two of them! Something that I watch out for here and there for DH is old brass measurement tools or gadgets--he likes mechanical devices, and sometimes you run across a good old little spyglass or an apothecary scale or something like that. I would say that lot of guys would also like a weather set that was nice-ish--with a barometer, an indoor/outdoor thermometer, and maybe a rain gauge. Sharper Image is a good source as well. Also, a couple of years ago Costco had these camping/picnicing sets that included heavy duty knives and barbeque utensils as well as plates, cups, and eating utensils, all in a briefcase-looking bag that protected them very nicely. Dh loves that set--not sure whether they have it right now, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 He doesn't hunt or anything like it. His primary out-of-the-house activity is role-playing games, and he has a standing date with a group that plays more or less every other week. Firstly, I think getting stroppy when you buy whatever you want and have few interests is rather naughty of him. He should provide you with a list. If he can't figure out what to buy himself, how on earth are you supposed to know? However, I have a gamer here too. What you need is gem dice. Not the "gem dice" made of plastic. Head to a nice little jewellers shop run by a friendly old man and ask him if he can make a d20 out of some inexpensive gem. I got my dh some amber d6s (he plays GURPS, not D&D) and he was a very happy bloke. He also picked up some metal d6s at a jewellery shop somewhere too. His pride and joy, lol. A gamer can never have too many dice, particularly too many pretty dice. :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Firstly, I think getting stroppy when you buy whatever you want and have few interests is rather naughty of him. He should provide you with a list. If he can't figure out what to buy himself, how on earth are you supposed to know? However, I have a gamer here too. What you need is gem dice. Not the "gem dice" made of plastic. Head to a nice little jewellers shop run by a friendly old man and ask him if he can make a d20 out of some inexpensive gem. I got my dh some amber d6s (he plays GURPS, not D&D) and he was a very happy bloke. He also picked up some metal d6s at a jewellery shop somewhere too. His pride and joy, lol. A gamer can never have too many dice, particularly too many pretty dice. :) Rosie oooo... what a great idea! It never occurred to me that that could be done! asta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 If he enjoys reading consider the Kindle. It's one of the best gifts DH has received in years. He's also impossible to buy for, dislikes practical gifts, doesn't want me to spend much but is disappointed when we don't get a great gift. Another thought: if he's a big kid at heart, what about a Rip Stik? Those are fun and can play with the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I've also bought him the occasional Muppet-themed ... What about a design-your-own Muppet Whatnot? I gave dh a "Make Your Own Monster" from FAO Schwarz/ American Bear Co last year, and it was a *huge* hit, lol. He's otherwise impossible to buy for too, but the Make Your Own Monster thrilled him no end... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 Honestly, I still think he's impossible. On top of everything else, I forgot to mention that he has a bad back (from an injury a number of years ago) and so doesn't do anything that is physically demanding or that requires sitting in one place for an extended period of time. Hence, all the ideas for rock climbing or flying lessons or gardening and so on won't work. (We pay someone to come mow our lawn, because my husband can't do it.) And, given that we're a vegetarian/vegan family (and he's not into cooking), grills and their assorted accessories are of little interest. Oh, and he disapproves of gift cards. (He feels they aren't "personal" enough.) In general, I agree with Rosie that someone who is so picky and difficult has no right to complain when he doesn't get things his way. However, it has become clear that he has his feelings genuinely hurt. So, I want to make an effort, but I'm still pretty clueless. At least now I know it's not just that I'm lazy or uncaring. He really is tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 IS there some sort of behind the scenes tour in the area you could dream up? Does he like to go fast? Could he do a spin at the Richard Petty Track? The ride-along is $90~, you get like 4 laps at 120+ mph. The only problem is you have to be able to climb in the car. DH isn't a Nascar fan but really enjoyed his trip there - he did the 4 hour driving school. UGH. OK, there has to be something "we" can dream up for you. KSC has a couple of tours that are cool, we've done the Nasa up close one, and the Then and Now one sounds great. How about taking him to Sharper Image and see what he plays with?!?! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmamainva Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 We just don't do presents for each other at all. Quite a few years ago, we made it a "children only" thing. We only get gifts for our kids and nieces/nephews. The niece & nephews have a $20 limit so it's a pretty small symbolic gift. The children do not give us presents. The Christmas eve host & the christmas day dinner host gets some chocolates & whole bean coffee. That's IT. It's very liberating :D I'm so glad we're not the only ones!! My hubby and I don't exchange gifts either! We usually go shopping together and buy one thing for both of us to enjoy (last year, it was a new TV...this year, it's going to be a treadmill). We try to find something that we will really use all year long. Two years ago, it was a potrack to hang over the kitchen island because we both love to cook and we were always complaining about never having any place to put our pots and pans where they were out of the way, but easily accessible. We buy for our kids only, and then for our nieces and nephews (but, like your family, it's a "we're thinking of you" gift. We never spend more than $30 each for them). And our children don't give us presents either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Go to Amazon.com and check out a book called "365 Nights: a Memoir of Intimacy." Or how about a CD lecture series from The Teaching Company? If he has a long commute to work, this could be a nice break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 USB Laser Guided Missiles? LOL!! http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/warfare/8bc4/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alte Veste Academy Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 (edited) Honestly, I still think he's impossible. Oh, and he disapproves of gift cards. (He feels they aren't "personal" enough.) In general, I agree with Rosie that someone who is so picky and difficult has no right to complain when he doesn't get things his way. However, it has become clear that he has his feelings genuinely hurt. So, I want to make an effort, but I'm still pretty clueless. At least now I know it's not just that I'm lazy or uncaring. He really is tough. First of all, I second the recommendation to get the Five Love Languages book because it seems likely that your husband's love language is gifts. Your husband sounds just like my mother. She would actually cry if I gave her a gift card. She is offended if I don't spend what she thinks is a reasonable amount of time thinking about a perfect gift for her. This is very frustrating to me, as I'm her polar opposite. Nothing makes me happier at Christmas or on my birthday than getting exactly what I want or need. My mother thinks that is selfish because it doesn't give the giver the joy of the hunt. That joy of the hunt thing would work out better if my mom knew me better and/or we were more alike. The thing that has been helpful for me to remember is that people generally give in the way they want to receive. What kind of gifts does he give you? That might give you a clue as to what he might appreciate. (Are his gifts to you practical, thoughtful, sentimental, lots of small things, one big thing, exactly what he knew you wanted vs. what he thinks you might want?) I'm sorry if you already answered this question and I missed it. I have the flu and I'm a bit fuzzy. Can you ask him to cruise Amazon and make a wish list? He might find a nice number of items. I don't know anyone who couldn't make a nice fat wish list on Amazon in a couple of hours of free time. I find that very helpful with my mom. I try to surprise her with a few things but I also buy a thing or two off her wish list so I can be sure that something I get will at least be something she wants. Aside from that, since you mentioned he's a gadget-guy and has a laptop, here are my recommendations. The two items below are (to me) the best things that ever happened to the laptop. Belkin CushTop Notebook Stand http://www.amazon.com/Belkin-F8N044-SLV-CushTop-Notebook-Stand/dp/B000J4J6T8/ref=pd_bbs_3?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1225464570&sr=8-3 Logitech V220 Cordless Optical Mouse for Notebooks http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Cordless-Optical-Mouse-Notebooks/dp/B000RHZJN4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1225465768&sr=1-1 Good luck! Kristina Edited October 31, 2008 by Alte Veste Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 The thing that has been helpful for me to remember is that people generally give in the way they want to receive. What kind of gifts does he give you? That might give you a clue as to what he might appreciate. Can you ask him to cruise Amazon and make a wish list? Belkin CushTop Notebook Stand http://www.amazon.com/Belkin-F8N044-SLV-CushTop-Notebook-Stand/dp/B000J4J6T8/ref=pd_bbs_3?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1225464570&sr=8-3 Logitech V220 Cordless Optical Mouse for Notebooks http://www.amazon.com/Logitech-Cordless-Optical-Mouse-Notebooks/dp/B000RHZJN4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=electronics&qid=1225465768&sr=1-1 Well, I suspect part of the problem is that he is a really good gift giver. And he probably has his feelings hurt that others don't reciprocate. But, see, even our kids will tell you that I'm really easy to find gifts for, while their dad is impossible. I rarely buy things for myself, so there are lots of options. I have lots of hobbies and interests, and I tend to appreciate small, sweet things. In fact, I prefer them, because big, over-the-top gifts make me uncomfortable ( thanks to baggage from my childhood). And, ever since I was a kid, I've gone out of my way NOT to know in advance what gifts I'm receiving, because I don't want to ruin the surprise for either myself or the gift-giver. He, on the other hand, controls the lion's share of the household money and feels free to buy for himself whenever he wants. He has few hobbies or interests and lots of strong feelings about what is and isn't appropriate for gifting. He loves (and expects) to be surprised, but is so highly aware of everything and into the challenge of figuring things out that actually surprising him is very difficult. One of his other quirks, by the way, is that he doesn't make (or shop from) wish lists. There's no surprise in it. And, if you can believe it, he already has both of the laptop accessories suggested. He bought himself the optical mouse, and I bought him the stand for Christmas either last year or the year before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lorna Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I have made these chocolate truffles for my dh when I couldn't think of anything else. They look and taste very special but are very simple to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lorna Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 He's also impossible to buy for, dislikes practical gifts, doesn't want me to spend much but is disappointed when we don't get a great gift. I am not alone! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Why not get tickets to some event he would like to attend? Maybe with you or with a guy friend? Maybe a concert or sporting event. It's not only fun, but does not add clutter to the house! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 What about a design-your-own Muppet Whatnot? I gave dh a "Make Your Own Monster" from FAO Schwarz/ American Bear Co last year, and it was a *huge* hit, lol. He's otherwise impossible to buy for too, but the Make Your Own Monster thrilled him no end... ;) Now, *that* is cool! I've never seen this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I have made these chocolate truffles for my dh when I couldn't think of anything else. They look and taste very special but are very simple to make. This is a great idea too! Everyone loves chocolate, right? What about a webcam for his laptop? He could post videos of his gaming nights on YouTube. I'm glad he was able to communicate to you that his feelings were hurt, but really, he's got to understand where you're coming from. Surely he can discuss with you what would delight and amaze him if he were to open the box on Christmas morning and find.... THIS! Ta da! He is going to have to give some assistance if he wants to get his love bucket filled this way. What about figurines? Does his gaming involve figurines? My brother and SIL had lots of little people and creatures that they painted. Also, my SIL draws her own characters. Does he do anything like that? Maybe a nice leather-bound sketchbook to keep his gaming sketches? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 A puppy! Or a fish tank? A tree for the yard? Or a Bonsai tree for the house? Is he sentimental? Could you write him a poem? Would he be impressed with The Twelve Days of Christmas? The first day, give him something small, like a Hershey kiss. Day two..2 of his favorite treats, and a kiss. Day 3, 3 good writing pens, 2 favorite treats, and a kiss. You get the idea.....Day 12 could be a collection of coffees/teas. I did this once and can't remember all the 12 gifts. It wasn't easy or cheap, but it was fun! Or you could give him a big ol' diamond ring (that you wear) just to tell him you would marry him all over again. :) What more could he want? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 This is a great idea too! Everyone loves chocolate, right? Well, now that I've whined about him for four pages, it should come as no surprise when I tell you that my husband is picky about his chocolate. He likes only certain types and brands. What about a webcam for his laptop? He could post videos of his gaming nights on YouTube. We actually have a webcam around here somewhere, but it's not hooked up. I don't think he would have any interest in posting gaming videos. I'm glad he was able to communicate to you that his feelings were hurt, but really, he's got to understand where you're coming from. Surely he can discuss with you what would delight and amaze him if he were to open the box on Christmas morning and find.... THIS! Ta da! He is going to have to give some assistance if he wants to get his love bucket filled this way. See, the problem is that he operates under the theory that, if he has to tell me, it doesn't count. Hence, the no list thing. What about figurines? Does his gaming involve figurines? My brother and SIL had lots of little people and creatures that they painted. Also, my SIL draws her own characters. Does he do anything like that? Maybe a nice leather-bound sketchbook to keep his gaming sketches? They don't use figures in his current gaming group. And he doesn't draw. Truly, I thank you (and everyone) for your suggestions. I'll keep thinking . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 (edited) I got my hubby a beer making kit one Christmas, and he STILL uses it - in fact, he has joined a local home-brewers club! Mr. Beer Deluxe Edition Home Microbrewery System - this is at Amazon for $29. It is exactly what I got hubby. He has since found a local home brew store to buy more bottles, supplies, etc. For $29 it is a great way to see if he would like this "guy" hobby! I have also scored with old Rocky and Bullwinkle show dvds (Amazon again) and Monty Python shows. Or make him a cutom calender from http://despair.com/ also find humorous small goodies at http://www.mcphee.com/ finally I got my dad a plush bedbug and my sister a plush brain cell from http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/main/new-products/ Edited October 31, 2008 by JFSinIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 A puppy! Or a fish tank? He's a cat person, and we already have two. A tree for the yard? Or a Bonsai tree for the house? We rent, and he's not an outdoorsy or gardening type. Is he sentimental? Could you write him a poem? He is sentimental about certain things, but he is not a poetry fan. Would he be impressed with The Twelve Days of Christmas? The first day, give him something small, like a Hershey kiss. Day two..2 of his favorite treats, and a kiss. Day 3, 3 good writing pens, 2 favorite treats, and a kiss. You get the idea.....Day 12 could be a collection of coffees/teas. I did this once and can't remember all the 12 gifts. It wasn't easy or cheap, but it was fun! Interesting, but it would require me to come up with even more gift ideas. I think one of the problems with the various suggestions for small, thoughtful gifts is that I tend to keep him stocked with those sorts of things, anyway. And, again, if he wants it and can afford it, he buys it. Or you could give him a big ol' diamond ring (that you wear) just to tell him you would marry him all over again. :) What more could he want? :lol: Without getting too personal, I'll just say that I don't think that would be terribly meaningful to him. Again, I honestly thank you for the suggestions. I appreciate that you spent the time to think about and type them out for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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