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Scarlett
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What a **** (bleeping myself.)

My husband drove a Prius for 7 years. Yes, people cracked jokes about it. They were ****s, too.

We saved a ton of money when gas was in the $4 range. The Prius lived over 300k miles. ****s are dumb.

 

 

I know right.  I will never understand the connection between Prius and gay.  Dh and dss16 say it stems from a comedy routine a long time ago. Ds17 thinks the oil companies came up with it to keep people buying expensive to operate gasoline autos.  ;)

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I would be tempted to send him some not-so-subtle Gay Pride paraphernalia. Cuz... you know... since he was interested.

 

He's probably not mentally well, though.

 

 

Oh I think he was fine mentally.  I think he is just a red neck idiot, anti homosexual, who depends upon external clues a tad too much.  Beyond that he has no clue about customer service.  No matter my beliefs or my son sexuality there was no combination that made it funny as he seemed to think.

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Three's Company was a show where a straight guy pretended to be gay so a landlord would let him live with 2 female roommates. The landlord probably made the "limp wrist" gesture when referring to the guy's sexual orientation.

That's so odd. You know those moments when you realize that you missed *all* the innuendo of something you watched as a kid? I never, ever, realized that the man in three's company had to 'pretend' anything in order to be 'allowed' to live with his room mates!
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That's so odd. You know those moments when you realize that you missed *all* the innuendo of something you watched as a kid? I never, ever, realized that the man in three's company had to 'pretend' anything in order to be 'allowed' to live with his room mates!

LOL....that was the entire premise of the show.

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That's so odd. You know those moments when you realize that you missed *all* the innuendo of something you watched as a kid? I never, ever, realized that the man in three's company had to 'pretend' anything in order to be 'allowed' to live with his room mates!

 

I just had that moment too! I can't believe it went right over my head!

Edited by beckyjo
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Sorry that happened, Scarlett.

 

As an aside on the limp wrist thing - I have an old friend who has some feminine mannerisms - limp wrists included.  He's straight.  His mannerisms have nothing to do with his sexual preferences.  Without getting into personal information, I'm pretty certain he's not homophobic or in the closet.  Just sheltered as a child from the sort of socialization that would tell him it wasn't okay to act however he wanted.

 

I heard as a teenager that some of the mannerisms that are considered feminine in our culture are considered masculine in other cultures - like certain remote tribes in Africa, for example.  I no longer remember where I learned that though.

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Just because I was interested and then decided I would share:

 

What do Limp Wrists have to do with Gay Men?

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2012/05/sean_harris_on_gay_men_what_do_limp_wrists_have_to_do_with_homosexuality_.html

 

Unacceptable Mannerisms: Gender Anxieties, Homosexual Activism, and Swish in the United States, 1945-1965

https://muse.jhu.edu/article/212748/summary

 

That is are ally interesting article.  I'd forgotten about The Birdcage.  INterestigly, that's generally considered to be a pretty positive depiction of a gay couple.

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Sorry that happened, Scarlett.

 

As an aside on the limp wrist thing - I have an old friend who has some feminine mannerisms - limp wrists included. He's straight. His mannerisms have nothing to do with his sexual preferences. Without getting into personal information, I'm pretty certain he's not homophobic or in the closet. Just sheltered as a child from the sort of socialization that would tell him it wasn't okay to act however he wanted.

 

I heard as a teenager that some of the mannerisms that are considered feminine in our culture are considered masculine in other cultures - like certain remote tribes in Africa, for example. I no longer remember where I learned that though.

Yes I know this is true. I worked with a guy who was straight and definitely had a few feminine qualities. And I have a cousin who is definitely straight and has a few hand gestures and moves of his head that seem feminine.

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That's so odd. You know those moments when you realize that you missed *all* the innuendo of something you watched as a kid? I never, ever, realized that the man in three's company had to 'pretend' anything in order to be 'allowed' to live with his room mates!

And then there is me who totally got that as a kid bc very little went over my head. It was a major obvious to me part of the entire show. I remember thinking Mr Roper was like a creepy stalker of the blonde roommate.

 

And remember Bosom Buddies with Tom Hanks? Same theory, guys dressing up as women for cheap rent. My college boys joke about maybe having to resort to that eventually. They watched one episode and pretty much think 80s tv was mentally unstable. They aren't wrong. Lol

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LOL....that was the entire premise of the show.

LOL. I know, right? It's a huge plot of the entire series and how the show starts. They are trying to explain to Mr Roper that their male roommate isn't interested in them and bc he is basicly a stereotypical "dirty old man" he just can't comprehend that, so of course the only reason they aren't having sex must be because the guy is gay.

Edited by Murphy101
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LOL. I know, right? It's a huge plot of the entire series and how the show starts. They are trying to explain to Mr Roper that their male roommate isn't interested in them and bc he is basicly a stereotypical "dirty old man" he just can't comprehend that, so of course the only reason they aren't having sex must be because the guy is gay.

 

pretty sure they tell-him in the pilot, and subsequent episodes strongly-imply he's gay.  roper doesn't come to that conclusion himself.   and the actor did a good job of playing a creepy old man.

his wife (whom he treats with disrespect) knows jack is straight.

 

it's the american version of a british comedy on the exact same premise.  both "jacks" are in cooking school - and roper can't understand a straight man wanting to cook either, as he considers it women's work.  (or homosexuals.)

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pretty sure they tell-him in the pilot, and subsequent episodes strongly-imply he's gay. roper doesn't come to that conclusion himself. and the actor did a good job of playing a creepy old man.

his wife (whom he treats with disrespect) knows jack is straight.

 

it's the american version of a british comedy on the exact same premise. both "jacks" are in cooking school - and roper can't understand a straight man wanting to cook either, as he considers it women's work. (or homosexuals.)

Yes but his sexism is what led him to beleive it. Oh he must be gay?! That makes total sense bc how else could he possibly live with two women and not sexually accost them? I remember his wife knew too. And yeah, where did the idea that men can't sew, cook, or clean come from because they'd been doing all of that for centuries? It's so weird.

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Even if he was being polite about it, on what planet is it ok to ask a customer if her son is gay based on the kind of car he drives?? Wow. I definitely hope you follow up on this.

 

I don't think it is ever OK to ask about someone's s*xual orientation unless the other person brings up the topic. Like if a mom mentioned that her teen wouldn't be coming to an event because the teen was attending a Pride parade or whatever.

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Realizing with sadness that people probably have two divergent reasons for being horrified by this man's behavior. :(

 

There's a 3rd reason- that someone's s*xual preferences are nobody else's business and a nosy personal question is totally unprofessional. Plenty of libertarians here on this board.

 

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I don't think it is ever OK to ask about someone's s*xual orientation unless the other person brings up the topic. Like if a mom mentioned that her teen wouldn't be coming to an event because the teen was attending a Pride parade or whatever.

 

 

some people think it's okay to ask anything - because some people will put *everything* out there on social media.  there's a reason 'TMI' got to be a "thing".

 

there are many things it's impolite to ask about - but people do anyway.   some know better (and still do), many don't because propriety is rarely taught.

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That's so odd. You know those moments when you realize that you missed *all* the innuendo of something you watched as a kid? I never, ever, realized that the man in three's company had to 'pretend' anything in order to be 'allowed' to live with his room mates!

I didn't know this either.

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The reason Jack has to pretend to be gay is because Mr. Roper is against co-ed living situations and would not have allowed Jack and the girls to be roommates if Jack was straight - even if he insisted he wasn't interested in either of them. Jack met the women at a party or something. He needed a place to live. They needed an extra roommate to help with the rent. Mr. Roper wouldn't allow it until Janet tells him Jack is gay. I was an adult when the show premiered so there wasn't anything to go over my head. Adults watching the show knew why Jack had to pretend to be gay. It was not uncommon in that time for landlords to refuse to rent to unmarried couples, even if they weren't actually couples. The belief was that a man and woman simply couldn't live together platonically. Some people still believe that today, 40 years later.

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I'm 40, and I can't imagine ever using a limp wrist gesture to imply homosexuality, but I think there are plenty of facial expressions and tones that we use to ask "the question" in conversation.  And it's not necessarily homophobic.  (Of course, I think the OP's example WAS.)

 

My sister and I have had multiple conversations on the phone that were basically "Have you seen so-and-so's profile lately?  That last picture? Is it just me? Do you think... maybe?  Or just... metro?"  Yeah, we have a much gayer family than we had originally predicted.  :D

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The reason Jack has to pretend to be gay is because Mr. Roper is against co-ed living situations and would not have allowed Jack and the girls to be roommates if Jack was straight - even if he insisted he wasn't interested in either of them. Jack met the women at a party or something. He needed a place to live. They needed an extra roommate to help with the rent. Mr. Roper wouldn't allow it until Janet tells him Jack is gay. I was an adult when the show premiered so there wasn't anything to go over my head. Adults watching the show knew why Jack had to pretend to be gay. It was not uncommon in that time for landlords to refuse to rent to unmarried couples, even if they weren't actually couples. The belief was that a man and woman simply couldn't live together platonically. Some people still believe that today, 40 years later.

 

I was a teen - I understood all of it.  but my mom dragged me to a lot of movies I wish had gone over my head . . .

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On a totally different note, I'm convinced that Wal-Mart car people are all idiots. Three times, I've had car issues while traveling and Wal-Mart was my only option each time. And each time, the workers displayed shocking ignorance about how basic things about cars worked. Like, the pressure meter in my flat tire was removed and they had no idea what it even was. The worker was like, we found this odd contraption in your tire. No clue what that was doing in there. What? What! What!?!

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I figured what the OP meant, but the mental image I had doesn't match the "limp wrist" mannerisms. What I really pictured was someone holding up wrists as if they were handcuffed and then jiggling them lol.

 

Laughing to myself at everyone's point of reference for why they know these things. I have no idea where/when I first saw this type of thing explained. Just something you might see/hear people do, not necessarily from TV.

 

On a totally different note, I'm convinced that Wal-Mart car people are all idiots. Three times, I've had car issues while traveling and Wal-Mart was my only option each time. And each time, the workers displayed shocking ignorance about how basic things about cars worked. Like, the pressure meter in my flat tire was removed and they had no idea what it even was. The worker was like, we found this odd contraption in your tire. No clue what that was doing in there. What? What! What!?!

 

I shouldn't laugh, but this is pretty much how I felt the last time we went to WM and probably other times! It was a Sunday and we were desperate. No one else was open. In fact, they didn't even answer their phone at WM's auto center, but we were close enough we made it there after dh used the fix a flat. They were pretty irked that he used it. Apparently it's a huge mess. But I don't know how else they expected us to get from point A to them. We got the fix a flat at some small automotive store when he tried to check the tire pressure.
 

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f

 

Explain like I'm five...what are the 2 divergent reasons?

 

I assumed that she meant that some people are upset the WM worker would be so homophobic to think that a certain car makes you gay or a certain hand gesture is an appropriate way to express it while other people would be upset that he would insult her son by implying that he's gay. In other words, some people would be indignant about the homophobia while others would be indignant for homophobic reasons.

 

I'm not really sure if that's true... That's just how I read that comment.

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Things can get even dumber than car choices which are ridiculous too. I am sure some people decide or decided we are liberals or my dh is gay or we are econuts or whatever dumb things they want to suppose. that is because after one disastrous five years with a van, we switched to station wagons. It had to due with my disability. So we have had a Volvo, then a Mercedes in Europe (basically a little better than a hooptie) and now a Subaru Outback. I don't know whether all station wagons imply left leaning politics, but the volvo did. I bought the cars for good safety ratings and able to carry my family and able to carry my pets and flower flats with my disability. On the other hand, my dh got several times misidentified as gay and I believe it is because he had beautiful strawberry blond hair (all natural). ( and for those interested, he just indicated not interested politely). My kids have had stupid assumptions too. The dumbest and most damaging wise societally were the comments made to my mechanically inclined, computer science major and physics minor girl (who is straight not that it should matter at all to anyone making these comments) but there have been people who have implied she isn;t a girl or a normal girl or a straight girl just because of her academic interests. It infuriates me but the dumb asses who make those statements don't know about people like Marie Curie. Lots of idiots make moronic assumptions. I am appalled because it is such poor customer service and there never is a reason to discuss sexual orientation with a car mechanic, sales person, clerk or whatever he was. I don't think it is relevant or polite.

 

I know that at least Walmart pharmacy has very strict rules about not offending customers even white supremacists who make a comment that horrifies the staff and other customers. I am sure if they were making sly remarks or gestures about homosexuality or mental capacities or any such stuff to customers, they would be fired.

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When I got back to the shop, a body shop, my boss informed me this particular WM is absolutely horrible in the automotive department. Just idiots. He told a story from many years ago where they had taken a customers car to WM to get a replacement tire put on. After the customer picked up the vehicle they. Fought it back and said there was a horrible shaking going on. So he rode with the customer, sure enough something was wrong. He went the customer to WM and the took the tire off and put it on the machine and the tire was like an egg. Not round. Just looking at it spin you could see it easily, but the machine showed it 'balanced' . It took 2 1/2 hours, calling the manager, discuss discuss head scratching about what to do and my boss said 'are you kidding? There is only one thing you can you. Get him a new tire. A round tire.' So eventually it was fixed. My boss says he never goes there for anything in automotive.

 

Lesson learned. Asked my boss for recommendations on these type of things. He has had a very successful business and is in real estate too and knows lots of people in this town where he grew up.

 

Then last night I told my friend ( who coincidentally is my boss' cousin) and she was equally horrified as everyone else and told the story of an oil,chamge there where the cap was left off and sprayed oil all into the hood area.

 

The very worst part is that my xh wanted me to take it elsewhere and I convinced him WM was fine and he said, 'your call'. Ugh.

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 . I don't know whether all station wagons imply left leaning politics, but the volvo did

 

where do you live?   i'm in the PNW - volvo can mean "old person who can't drive" . . . (on youtube see almost live and the skit ballard driving school. - park by sound. once upon a time there were a lot of older volvo owners in ballard)   though I do know younger people who have one.

there was a reason I put my mother in one . . . .

 

and strawberry blonde means gay?  uh - dh has red hair. . .  (not fair- I have way more gray than him)  he's never encountered that - neither has my high achieving red-head daughter (though probably fits the stereotype of volatile red head - and has gotten a lot of attention for having red hair.)

 

 

The very worst part is that my xh wanted me to take it elsewhere and I convinced him WM was fine and he said, 'your call'. Ugh.

 

did he say "I told you so"? . . . or did he know enough to keep his mouth shut?

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After knowing about your boss' experience coupled with everything else you might want to have your dh or another shop check the lugs and pressure etc. I wouldn't be surprised if they're not tight. I've known more than one person who has had a tire come off or almost come off while driving after a rotation/new tire because a tech forgot to tighten all the lugs.

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After knowing about your boss' experience coupled with everything else you might want to have your dh or another shop check the lugs and pressure etc. I wouldn't be surprised if they're not tight. I've known more than one person who has had a tire come off or almost come off while driving after a rotation/new tire because a tech forgot to tighten all the lugs.

 

or tightened  them so tight - that if you need to replace a flat, you can't get it off.

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where do you live? i'm in the PNW - volvo can mean "old person who can't drive" . . . (on youtube see almost live and the skit ballard driving school. - park by sound. once upon a time there were a lot of older volvo owners in ballard) though I do know younger people who have one.

there was a reason I put my mother in one . . . .

 

and strawberry blonde means gay? uh - dh has red hair. . . (not fair- I have way more gray than him) he's never encountered that - neither has my high achieving red-head daughter (though probably fits the stereotype of volatile red head - and has gotten a lot of attention for having red hair.)

 

 

did he say "I told you so"? . . . or did he know enough to keep his mouth shut?

I didn't mention it to him . ;)

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It's been too long since I've seen Three's Company and don't know if I ever knew that Jack was pretending to be gay, but now that you mention it, yes, that makes sense. I do remember them being nervous about the landlord.

 

I don't care if the car had rainbows painted on the side, the employee shouldn't have thought what he did was okay.

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On the other hand, my dh got several times misidentified as gay and I believe it is because he had beautiful strawberry blond hair (all natural). ( and for those interested, he just indicated not interested politely). My kids have had stupid assumptions too. The dumbest and most damaging wise societally were the comments made to my mechanically inclined, computer science major and physics minor girl (who is straight not that it should matter at all to anyone making these comments) but there have been people who have implied she isn;t a girl or a normal girl or a straight girl just because of her academic interests. It infuriates me but the dumb asses who make those statements don't know about people like Marie Curie. Lots of idiots make moronic assumptions.

 

My hubby is not into sports (except sailboat racing), cars, muscles, scantily clad female things, and anything else stereotypical male so has been often misidentified as gay.  I've never been a "girl" (tomboy since birth), so a few folks considered me lesbian (or so I heard, but I believe it).  One person even told me that since hubby is gay and I'm lesbian we're supposed to be the perfect couple.  I'm still literally scratching my head over that one - as is he.

 

I do my best to combat those moronic assumptions at school where kids start to label each other over stereotypes.  I use the two of us as examples TBH.  One's body will tell them when it's ready (and it may take some time sorting things out).  Don't let a fellow 7th (or 8th or 9th) grader or TV show or whatever tell you.  They have no way of knowing!  You can mess up your brain thinking it MUST be whatever someone said even if you're feeling differently inside.

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People think my dad is gay quite often - including a psychologist when he had a bunch of testing done.  They apparently used to think the same about his dad, or at least men made passes at him a lot.

 

The one that made me really roll my eyes is when my dd, then 11, got a trendy haircut with one side shaved, and my dim cousin asked me if she was a lesbian.

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People think my dad is gay quite often - including a psychologist when he had a bunch of testing done.  They apparently used to think the same about his dad, or at least men made passes at him a lot.

 

The one that made me really roll my eyes is when my dd, then 11, got a trendy haircut with one side shaved, and my dim cousin asked me if she was a lesbian.

 

:glare:  I got this from one of my friends this year when dd got an asymmetrical undercut. After she saw dd she called me and said, "Why would she cut her hair that short?  Is she making a statement?"  I said "Yes. That she's a teenager, and she knows this is the age to experiment with hair!"  That's the statement!!  It's not a freaking political or sexual statement- I don't get why people have to read so much into things. I apparently missed the rule where only lesbians can have super short hair. Whatever. 

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