WWYhaveDone

[Scarlett]

I just had the weirdest texting conversation with my friend.  She is a single mom of a 9 year old and a 1 yo old baby.  She is disabled....she was in a serious accident and has a lot of trouble with her hips, and ankle...Anyway, she asked me today via text if I knew of anyone who needs help...she is looking for work...maybe a couple hundred a month so she can get a different car because hers is not reliable.  She says, 'I can do anything except heavy lifting'  Well, I know that isn't true because she tried to clean one house for pay and it put her flat on her back for 2 weeks....I told her I didn't know of anything....and then I asked her if she had considered child care. 

 

She says she could only do that if they were kids she knows, and not an infant or toddler.  I said well what about after school care?  She says, 'I just wondered if you knew of any jobs, I am not going to  babysit.'  I just said 'ok I will let you know if I hear of something.'

 

Is that weird to anyone else?  She comes across as fairly desperate to earn a bit of money.  She gets no child support and her disability is very very low.  If I were in her shoes I would think childcare would be ideal.  She lives in a house that her parents own so it isn't like she couldn't do it because of a rental situation or apartment situation.

 

Sigh. 

[elegantlion]

Some people are just not made to do childcare, babysitting can be over the top stressful for some people, even in their own home or especially in their own home. I can think of plenty of reasons not to do it. Also, some people are not assertive enough to be their own boss, they want a job where they can show up and do what they're told then go home and let it go. Also, maybe she wants a few hours to be child free. 

 

I wouldn't think it weird. There are plenty of low-paying part time jobs that are not child care. 

 

 

[Garga]

It sounds ideal unless you really, really don't like other people's children.  Then it's not good.  I know a few people who do daycare. One loves children and she is a wonderful caregiver.  The other two that I'm thinking of don't really like the children they watch.  The children they care for are not in a loving environment.  They are cared for, but it's bare-bones care.  I feel sorry for those kids.

 

I think she knows her limits.  Yes, if she's desperate then she could take the daycare job.  But if she doesn't like other people's children, it would be terrible for everyone.

[Garga]

I'd have to be facing homelessness or starvation to take a long-term childcare job.  Babysit once in a while for a friend....ooookay.  If it's really important.  But day to day watching children?  Oh no. No.

[OneStepAtATime]

I agree.  Some people are NOT good at childcare.  As in, utterly awful at it.  And some people really, really, really hate it.  Like miserable to the point they can hardly function.  Especially with someone else's kids.  Maybe she is one of those.  If she knows this is not a good fit for her I think it is a good thing that she recognizes that.  I would not want my children being watched by someone who hates taking care of children.  And as someone who WAS briefly taken care of by someone who didn't seem to like the job at all, I can tell you as the kid stuck in that situation it sucks.  Thankfully Mom recognized it was a bad fit and made other arrangements.

 

 

 

 

[Arcadia]

She is disabled....she was in a serious accident and has a lot of trouble with her hips, and ankle...

 

If I were in her shoes I would think childcare would be ideal.

Given her troubles with her hips and ankles, childcare might be a nightmare instead.

 

Is there any work at home job like typing or telemarketing in your area? When I was in college in early 90s, people would pay freelancers $4/page to type their handwritten essays and dissertation. For the department secretaries with their fast typing speed, it was good money.

[Scarlett]

Given her troubles with her hips and ankles, childcare might be a nightmare instead.

 

Is there any work at home job like typing or telemarketing in your area? When I was in college in early 90s, people would pay freelancers $4/page to type their handwritten essays and dissertation. For the department secretaries with their fast typing speed, it was good money.

 

 

She said she couldn't handle a baby or toddler...although she has one herself...but yeah it might be rough on her.  That is why I suggested after school care. Kids get off the bus at your house and you give them a snack and set them up to do homework...probably only 1 1/2 hours per day.  People with kids from 6-9 or 10 are really in need of that.

[Miss Tick]

Maybe, like all of us, she would really prefer if someone gave her money for doing something she likes to do. Perhaps she was hoping you just turned down a chocolate taste-testing job that you could redirect her way. Possibly she is secretly hoping for a paid dystopian book review position, or housekeeping service secret-shopper gig. I'm always on the look out for these unicorns, the difference is that I don't tell anybody. Oops.

[Scarlett]

Given her troubles with her hips and ankles, childcare might be a nightmare instead.

 

Is there any work at home job like typing or telemarketing in your area? When I was in college in early 90s, people would pay freelancers $4/page to type their handwritten essays and dissertation. For the department secretaries with their fast typing speed, it was good money.

 

 

I don't know if she can type or anything like that.....I am afraid to ask her now...afraid she will say 'I am NOT typing.'  LOL...j/k

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't know if she can type or anything like that.....I am afraid to ask her now...afraid she will say 'I am NOT typing.' LOL...j/k

She's capable of looking at want ads. I would do exactly what you said you would do. Pass on information on any job openings that you hear of - but no more.

[Spryte]

Maybe, like all of us, she would really prefer if someone gave her money for doing something she likes to do. Perhaps she was hoping you just turned down a chocolate taste-testing job that you could redirect her way. Possibly she is secretly hoping for a paid dystopian book review position, or housekeeping service secret-shopper gig. I'm always on the look out for these unicorns, the difference is that I don't tell anybody. Oops.

A paid dystopian book review position. Sigh. You have given me a new dream.

 

ETA: I don't care for watching other people's kids either.

Edited May 3, 2017 by Spryte

[Scarlett]

Maybe, like all of us, she would really prefer if someone gave her money for doing something she likes to do. Perhaps she was hoping you just turned down a chocolate taste-testing job that you could redirect her way. Possibly she is secretly hoping for a paid dystopian book review position, or housekeeping service secret-shopper gig. I'm always on the look out for these unicorns, the difference is that I don't tell anybody. Oops.

 

 

Funny you say that....her first question is does my boss need any help.  I said not that I know of. (and I am NOT asking him)  I have a really really good job.  It pays well, it is flexible, etc.  I think she wants my job!

[Guest]

Gently, maybe you are being too helpful?

[marbel]

She said she couldn't handle a baby or toddler...although she has one herself...but yeah it might be rough on her.  That is why I suggested after school care. Kids get off the bus at your house and you give them a snack and set them up to do homework...probably only 1 1/2 hours per day.  People with kids from 6-9 or 10 are really in need of that.

 

Yeah, when I had babies/toddlers I couldn't handle someone else's.  Like Garga, I'd have to be starving or near homeless to do childcare.  

 

It's funny, so often people assume that women with kids like taking care of other peoples' kids.  Not me.  

 

(I also don't want a tutoring job after I'm done homeschooling.  Ugh!  The only thing worse would be childcare.  Actually, they'd be about equal.)

[JaneEyre]

I got the impression she was hinting for you to give her some money.

[goldberry]

I'd have to be facing homelessness or starvation to take a long-term childcare job.  Babysit once in a while for a friend....ooookay.  If it's really important.  But day to day watching children?  Oh no. No.

 

This is me.  I would be over-the-top stressed and miserable.

[goldberry]

I don't know if she can type or anything like that.....I am afraid to ask her now...afraid she will say 'I am NOT typing.'  LOL...j/k

 

I don't think office work is the same as childcare.  I mean, I could easily see why one would hate childcare while being fine with other types of work.  I wouldn't assume she is just being difficult.

[Scarlett]

Gently, maybe you are being too helpful?

 

 

Meh. I don't think so.  She said she was looking for work and I suggested some work.

[FaithManor]

Well if she has chronic pain or energy levels are an issue since the car accisent, I can see that she would be averse to childcare.

 

For what it's worth, during the year I was recuperating from my car accident, my body just could not handle little kid care, nor noise. I really struggled with a lot of noise. I also had to have an afternoon nap every single day which would not have been conducive to doing childcare.

 

I wonder if your friend would qualify for additional financial help such as WIC for the younger child. Also if she has not pursued it, she may be entitled to a settlement from the car insurance company.

[Jaz]

Yep, she wants your job. You handled it fine. I would have done the same thing trying to brainstorm with her. 

[Anne in CA]

Honestly, in her case she is going to have to do something on the phone or maybe pet sitting. The kind of pet sitting where you just go feed someone's birds or cats, not the kind where you walk a dog for an hour at a time.

[Scarlett]

Well if she has chronic pain or energy levels are an issue since the car accisent, I can see that she would be averse to childcare.

 

For what it's worth, during the year I was recuperating from my car accident, my body just could not handle little kid care, nor noise. I really struggled with a lot of noise. I also had to have an afternoon nap every single day which would not have been conducive to doing childcare.

 

I wonder if your friend would qualify for additional financial help such as WIC for the younger child. Also if she has not pursued it, she may be entitled to a settlement from the car insurance company.

Her accident was 7 years ago . No further recourse. And she can't/won't ask for aid for the youngest because she does not want the father involved .

 

The reason I suggested childcare is because even if she finds a job she has to find someone to watch her baby ..

[Wheres Toto]

Maybe, like all of us, she would really prefer if someone gave her money for doing something she likes to do. Perhaps she was hoping you just turned down a chocolate taste-testing job that you could redirect her way. Possibly she is secretly hoping for a paid dystopian book review position, or housekeeping service secret-shopper gig. I'm always on the look out for these unicorns, the difference is that I don't tell anybody. Oops.

 

I know this is a serious thread but I had to laugh at this.  My oldest recently started a part-time job tasting cookies and crackers for Mondelez (brands include Oreos, Chips Ahoy, Fig Newtons, Cadbury, etc.).  Only 8-10 hours a week, but decent pay, and steady hours. :thumbup1:

[JFSinIL]

Refer her to the local temp agency and let it go.

[Scarlett]

Honestly, in her case she is going to have to do something on the phone or maybe pet sitting. The kind of pet sitting where you just go feed someone's birds or cats, not the kind where you walk a dog for an hour at a time.

She lives about 8 miles from town, but in an area with quite a few houses. But not the type of houses likely to hire pet sitters.

 

I really feel for her. She has had some bad things happen to her ( accident and then her now xh really worked hard to take her then 2 year old away from her) and she has compounded her problems with some foolish decisions.

 

I get the feeling she is looking for something that will get her out of the house. I am not suggesting anything else because she made it clear she isn't open to brainstorming.

[MedicMom]

I know this is a serious thread but I had to laugh at this. My oldest recently started a part-time job tasting cookies and crackers for Mondelez (brands include Oreos, Chips Ahoy, Fig Newtons, Cadbury, etc.). Only 8-10 hours a week, but decent pay, and steady hours. :thumbup1:

My almost seven year old's career goal for years has been to be an ice cream taste tester when he grows up.

[Kerileanne99]

Can I just say, as a person in a wheelchair (but not paralyzed except for 2 toes!, AND the mom of a rambunctious 2 year old boy...there are an infinite number of jobs easier on me physically than child care:)

I am really struggling with my own. I recently cared for a friend's 2 yo for a WEEK when she was in hospital. I seriously didn't think I was going to survive it. I pulled a major muscle in my back trying to lift them both when they were upset.

Really. She needs a job where she can show up, and use her mind rather than her body....not to mention saving her energy for her own kiddo.

[Scarlett]

Can I just say, as a person in a wheelchair (but not paralyzed except for 2 toes!, AND the mom of a rambunctious 2 year old boy...there are an infinite number of jobs easier on me physically than child care:)

I am really struggling with my own. I recently cared for a friend's 2 yo for a WEEK when she was in hospital. I seriously didn't think I was going to survive it. I pulled a major muscle in my back trying to lift them both when they were upset.

Really. She needs a job where she can show up, and use her mind rather than her body....not to mention saving her energy for her own kiddo.

I can see that. Not saying child care is a piece of cake. I just can't see how you can work and pay child care and make any money.

[Rosie_0801]

I can see that. Not saying child care is a piece of cake. I just can't see how you can work and pay child care and make any money.

 

Without starting a home business? I know a few women who have caring duties that keep them close to home that are doing that.

[Catwoman]

She lives about 8 miles from town, but in an area with quite a few houses. But not the type of houses likely to hire pet sitters.

 

I really feel for her. She has had some bad things happen to her ( accident and then her now xh really worked hard to take her then 2 year old away from her) and she has compounded her problems with some foolish decisions.

 

I get the feeling she is looking for something that will get her out of the house. I am not suggesting anything else because she made it clear she isn't open to brainstorming.

What kind of educational background and work experience does she have?

[Scarlett]

What kind of educational background and work experience does she have?

As far as I know just high school. She has 5 kids- oldest 25 youngest 1. So she has spent most of her life raising kids.

[TX Native]

I would suggest respite sitting for the elderly. Either in a home, assisted living, or nursing facility where the family needs more one one one care to prevent the patient from wondering off or falling. She can fish for a position that doesn't require physical care, just one looking after the elderly person to provide company and make sure they are safe.