Re: today's blow-up. I'm steamed. (Do not open if you're easily offended.)

[Apiphobic]

Okay, it's been a few hours. I'm still angry. I probably shouldn't be writing this, but it's bugging me.

 

I'm pretty open about anything and everything, sometimes too much so. But I don't want people to think I'm hiding anything, so here goes. Sometimes I feel like there's another version of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for homeschoolers who aren't christian. It's easier to say nothing rather than opening yourself up to judgment and ridicule or feeling different or in the minority. I'm sure most of you can relate when you think of family, friends, or random strangers who have an opinon on homeschooling that might not mesh with yours.

 

So I'm coming out. I'm an atheist. I considered myself agnostic for many years until recently deciding for myself I was being a chicken and needed to admit it to myself at least.

 

If that means you think differently of me and choose to ignore anything I might have to say about any of the various topics on this board, so be it. I admit I'll be a little disappointed, but I'll get over it. It's entirely within your rights to do so.

 

But I think you're missing out when you write someone off entirely based upon that criteria. There's more to each person than his or her religion, educational level, political leanings, drinking preferences, favorite ice cream, etc. And I wonder if there are a lot of babies being thrown out with the bathwater. I've said before I won't use the ignore function, because there have been plenty of times I've disagreed with a poster on several issues and then surprisingly found myself nodding in agreement about another issue. It's not all black and white. That's too easy.

 

I may not discuss curriculum much here, but I do think I've contributed something to this board. A lot of times it's humor, and I know that doesn't jibe well with some people. (Homeschooling is serious business, darn it. :tongue_smilie:) But I do enjoy a laugh, and what may be funny to me might not seem too humorous to others. I'm used to giving and getting guff from my dad because we're opposites on the political spectrum. We tease each other constantly and sometimes we do get into heated discussions, but we're able to pull back and still respect each other for having thought out our positions ... even if we don't agree.

 

Since I'm baring all, here's a little thing I wrote. Originally I was just going to post this piece I'd written last year, but I thought I should preface it with my reasons for doing so. Today's outbreak reminded me of this list of pet peeves, specifically the part about writing someone off completely.

 

Keep in mind, I was pretty mad when I wrote it. It's an accurate description of my opinions, but I'm not usually that belligerent.

 

I'm not interested in debating these issues, but feel free to post your own list of pet peeves. :D

 

My list of pet peeves:

 

When people don't bother writing thank you notes. If someone actually took the time to think of you and send you something, how hard is it to acknowledge this gift with a note? Heck, in today's world, an email or a phone call would suffice. You made it to the bank pretty quickly to cash that check or to the store to use that gift card, but you can't be bothered to write a simple, "Hey, thanks. That was nice"?

 

When people say nucular instead of nuclear.

 

When people try to act younger than they are and refuse to accept the fact that they're getting OLD. Face it, you look ridiculous trying to dress hip, speak the lingo, and fit in with today's youth. Your kids need you to be a parent, not their best buddy.

 

When people assume that because my husband's in the military, I must, of course, support Bush and his policies. I love my husband truly, madly, deeply, but that doesn't mean I automatically have to assimilate his politics. Don't give me this bull** about supporting the troops either. I sent my husband stuff when he was in Iraq. I send friends and family stuff while they're in Iraq. I get a lot of emails with "Support the Troops!" pictures and messages, but they seem like pretty empty words because I found out who really "supported" the troops when I asked friends and family to send dh stuff while he was in the desert. I support the troops by wanting them to come home!

 

When people chain or pen their dogs for hours at a time. If you don't have the time or space for a pet and you can't give it all the love and attention it deserves after it's grown from its oh, so cute puppy or kitten stage, you shouldn't have one in the first place. This could apply for children, too. Don't think that you should have a child if you're not d**ed well good and ready to accept all the responsibility and work it entails. And don't get me started on people who let their dogs ride in the back of pickup trucks! Ask your veterinarian what he or she thinks of that! (BTW, both "tethering" and letting your dog ride in the back of a truck are illegal in some states.)

 

Home trampolines. Ask an ER doctor what he or she thinks of them.

 

When people driving a truck, SUV, or 4-wheel drive think they're invincible in snow or ice. Folks, in this case, size doesn't matter. You can have the biggest 4-wheel drive on the road and still hit a patch of ice that's gonna take you somewhere you don't wanna be.

 

Double negatives.

 

When people completely write off another person based upon their religious, political, or what-have-you convictions. Just because someone believes something like, oh, I don't know, the moon is made of cheese, it doesn't mean that person doesn't have any other redeeming qualities. People are made up of more than just one opinion or viewpoint. Lump them all together and you've lost perspective. But, hey, if you think life is all black & white, then I guess things really are simple for you. Because you're simple-minded. Might as well say you don't like anybody that has a lisp. Or loves roses. Or sings in the shower. (If I felt that way, I'd have to write off my husband and my dad because of their politics, and I'd have to write off my mom because she smokes!)

 

Right-to-lifers that support the death penalty. Can't have it both ways, fellas. Life is life.

 

When people smoke. Period.

 

When people send an email with everyone's email address on display for all to see. Learn how to use BCC.

 

When people send a forward or joke without checking its veracity on snopes.com or without bothering to clean up all the previous forwards and crap in the email. Learn how to google and how to right-click and cut, paste, or delete.

 

When people drive a gas-guzzler or SUV and then complain about rising gas prices in the US. Go live in Europe for a few years and learn why they've been driving fuel-efficient cars for years. (Hint: they've been paying through the nose for a h*l of a lot longer than we have.)

 

Racism. In any form.

 

When people think they're great writers and they can't even spell or form a coherent sentence. Read. Then read some more. (Reader's Digest and TV Guide don't count. Do you know those magazines are written for 9th-grade level reading?)

 

When people assume all homeschoolers are doing it for religious reasons.

 

When people bury their heads in the sand or blanketly deny things like evolution or global warming instead of READING and finding out for themselves whether or not it's true. You don't want to believe it? Fine. But read something to contradict your viewpoint instead of something that's basically just preaching to the choir. Challenge yourself to read something that contradicts your beliefs and then decide what you believe when you have information from both sides. Don't bother with those so-called "objective" articles and books. There's no such thing. There's always an agenda or goal. You just have to figure out which one can really stand the test of criticism and still holds true after all the dust has settled. And, no, hearing it on the radio, seeing it on TV, or reading it on the net doesn't mean it's fact.

[Parrothead]

 

So I'm coming out. I'm an atheist.

 

 

Okay, doesn't bother me one way or another.

 

A lot of your peeves made me :lol:

 

Other than the ones you listed the only thing I have to add is men who don't respond even though they heard you.

[newbie]

Love your pet peeves, I agree w/ all of them and I am Christian. Sorry if someone got on your case because of your beliefs.

 

Seems like you have some great morals and values. And noone, no matter what faith, religion, color is perfect.

[Parabola]

I, personally, love you Api. And I hope you feel better after posting that. :grouphug:

 

 

Oh, and your peeves are spot on!

[Ria]

I won't write you off because you're an atheist; that's not the type of person I am. I enjoy reading your opinions on this board. I might not agree with some of your positions, but you often cause me to think about a different point of view, and I appreciate that.

 

I'm sure there are as many opinions of what is a Chrisitian/atheist/Muslim/agnostic/Jewish/pagan/anyone-else-I-didn't-mention homeschooler as there are homeschoolers. My one hope is that everyone on this board would evaluate each poster as an individual and not make blanket judgements of a person just because he or she falls into a certain "category."

 

 

Ria

[AnotherE]

Api- since you stepped up and offered to be my first friend, and you are still my only friend, here is my post in solidarity.

 

I am ThatGirl... I am a closet liberal Christian.

 

I don't fit in with many Christian groups because of my feelings on social policies and my interpretation of my faith, I tend to be kept at arm's length by the liberal groups because I am Christian, so I must have some sort of agenda.

 

I'm just me. I don't want to convert or be converted. I want to be respected as an individual as I give respect to individuals.

 

My pet peeves:

 

-People with nice figures that don't require effort. At least *pretend* you go to the gym.

-People who tailgate in school zones.

-Skimpy foam on lattes.

-The generalization that all women love shoes. I have very narrow feet and I'm lucky to find two pairs of shoes that fit, I don't have 200 pairs in my closet.

-Jokes about rain and Seattle. Try to be a little creative.

-Anyone who says they love Foo Fighters more than me. They are blatant liars.

[beansprouts]

Well, I for one am very offended that you don't like trampolines. We have had one since my daughter was three, and it has been immensely benificial to all of my children's gross moter and vestibular development. :D

 

Seriously, though, I only wish people would be more comfortable with what they profess to believe and not so angry that others think diffferently.

Edited October 23, 2008 by beansprouts

[OnTheBrink]

I've never been one to assume because someone home schools they're Christian, too. I don't think you need to hide it or "come out". You are who you are.

[Zelda]

Wow. Just wow.

 

I disagree with so much of what you have said here.

 

And I don't care and I don't feel differently about you.

 

Like it or not, I dig you (as the kids are so fond of saying).

[GailV]

Wow, I've been gone from the board a couple of days, and this is the first post I've read, and I'm thinking what the heck did I miss?

 

Great list of pet peeves. I can't think of anything to add, off hand.

[5kidsforME]

Wow. Just wow.

 

I disagree with so much of what you have said here.

 

And I don't care and I don't feel differently about you.

 

Like it or not, I dig you (as the kids are so fond of saying).

 

:iagree:

[Guest janainaz]

It's good to vent :)

 

I don't care about people's religious beliefs and I think over-caring gets in the way of relationships. For this reason, I am often embarassed to say I'm Christian. Another topic.

 

I think there are some people that almost look at others who don't hold the same beliefs as they do - as having nothing to offer that is positive. I can disagree with someone on one point and have a million other points that I agree on. Differences still serve to enrich relationships. The world would be a boring planet if everyone agreed on everything.

 

We are shaped by the way we grow up, where we grow up, who raised us and what is put into our lives and our opinions and beliefs are often shaped as a result of that. So, getting along with people requires you to take the time to understand someone elses life and try and see things from their perspective. I've changed my mind and changed my beliefs as a result of getting to know one person at a time. We all make judgements and assesments that are often totally inaccuarate and we give up on getting to know someone based on those inaccuracies.

 

Lastly, we really make a big mistake when we walk through life assuming we have all the answers and have it all figured out. That "we" includes "me" also.

 

Good post you wrote.

[Daisy]

LOL. Most Christians perfer an atheist to a "pretend" Christian. I'll write you down as one of my friends.

 

And yes, our children could play together.

 

And yes, I'd chit-chat over tea or coffee.

 

And yes, we might occasionally get into a debate but we'd try hard to avoid pissing each other off.

[Kanga]

First, :grouphug: I don't know what happened but it sounds like you are having a rough day!

 

Second, even in your rant you made me :001_smile:! I really like people that can make others smile even when they are complaining.

 

Third, although I am a Christian, some of my favorite people are not! I like having discussions with people who make me laugh, challenge my ideas, and really make me think. (In that order, seriously I would much rather laugh than think. ;))

[Guest janainaz]

LOL. Most Christians perfer an atheist to a "pretend" Christian.

 

:iagree:

[Book Crazy]

 

I'll step out of the closet with you.

 

I am ATHEIST and very proud of it.

[happyWImom]

Many of your peeves top my list, also.:iagree:

Another one of mine is people who force their opinions/views on others and don't let up. It's okay to have an intellegent conversation but when it's obvious the other person doesn't and never will come around to your viewpoint-leave it at that. And especially, leave name calling out when you're trying to make your case-it takes away from everything you've just said.

 

Whew! It does feel kind of good to get the peeves out.:D

 

Oh, here's another one: When dh calls mid-morning and hears the kids yowling in the background and says "Haven't you started school yet??" Excuse me???? (obviously some stuff going on here, right)

[Kay in Cal]

Yeah, it can be tough being a Christian liberal, particularly on this board. In real life I know plenty of progressive Christians... as well as liberal athiests. Though I can't off the top of my head think of a friend who is a conservative athiest, I'm sure there are plenty out there.

 

Api--I like you for who you are. You were one of my favorites on the old board (though under a different name) and you still are! I'd much rather hang out with those who are confident enough in their own faith (or lack of faith) to not be threatened by the faith (or lack thereof) of others.

 

I agree with most (but not all) of your pet peeves. Especially NU-KU-LAR. Yuck! But I"m horrible at thank you notes. So a blanket thank you for now and in the future...

[Mama Lynx]

I have a feeling I probably shouldn't reply to this, because I think you're referring to the thread about social groups, and I did not read that thread past the first few posts. I can pretty well guess what's in it, though.

 

As far as "don't ask, don't tell" goes, I've been very open about being Pagan, on this board. I'm very sure that a number of members shake their heads at me, or feel sorry for me, or pray for me, or maybe even hate me for that. I don't care. If they want to do that in private, but we can all get along in public, that works for me. And I've never been treated badly here because of my beliefs ... maybe some minor skirmishes, but no big deal. Certainly there are topics on which my opinion will be discounted because of my religious views ... so what? Similarly, a Christian take on some certain areas of my life would do me no good.

 

But respect is the key. Most of the Christians here, IME, will respect those that respect them.

 

Other than that .... it's sounds like you've had a really hard day, and if you still want to speak to me after all of the above, I offer you some virtual tea and cookies, or a Mike's and a huge slice of chocolate cheesecake. I hope the rest of your day/week gets much better. You contribute a great deal to these boards, and I appreciate you, even where I disagree with you. I even appreciate you enough to let that one pet peeve of yours go by without comment. Hoo-boy. :lol:

[nmoira]

 

I'll step out of the closet with you.

 

I am ATHEIST and very proud of it.

Me too. Though I'm not exactly what you'd call in the closet about it. ;)

 

My biggest pet peeve are incidences when people can't or won't factually back up an assertion. At that point it becomes mere speculation, no matter how many times they repeat it. People can come to different conclusions about the same set of facts. People can have faith, and identify it as such. None of that bothers me in the slightest. But don't tell me this or that is the case (without qualifiers) unless you have some facts to back it up. It's the INTP in me.

[Once]

Api

I'm hearing you. I'm having one of those days too and trying hard not to let it get to me. In fact I just layed into a good friend that I know votes diffferently than I would (if I could). Gotta go apologize for it now.

Although I am a Christian, many of your pet peeves bug me as well. So, feel better. We are not a uniform group and we do not all feel the same about things. Although some of these memories will remain for a long time, I am sure we will get back to some sort of normal when the elections pass. Take heart. This too will pass. :001_smile:

[Book Crazy]

When people assume all homeschoolers are doing it for religious reasons.

 

One of my major pet peeves this.

[Remudamom]

I think everyone needs to unknot their panties.

[Heather in Neverland]

There was a blow up today? I totally missed that. :confused:

 

I am a proud right-wing conservative christian and I would MUCH rather be around an atheist than a fake christian. It's not like it's contagious...sheesh.

 

And I agree that BOTH sides should consider and educate themselves on the other's POV and this applies to everything: religion, homeschooling, parenting, etc.

[Amy in NY]

 

Other than the ones you listed the only thing I have to add is men who don't respond even though they heard you.

 

 

Ummm...have you been hanging out with my husband?:tongue_smilie:

[Parabola]

 

I'll step out of the closet with you.

 

I am ATHEIST and very proud of it.

 

Can't really say I was in ever in the closet, but I'm here loud and proud now, and happy to see others in this little community now. :)

Edited October 23, 2008 by Parabola
synonym problems

[OnTheBrink]

 

But respect is the key. Most of the Christians here, IME, will respect those that respect them.

 

 

I think this is true. And, it's hurtful to find that people you've treated with respect call you (or people with your views) names behind your back.

[Jenny in Atl]

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Racism. In any form.

 

This, along with the one about people assuming that all homeschoolers are homeschooling for religious reasons and/or choosing to pull their kids out of society, would be on my list also.

 

Then there is the one about homeschooling=I must be Holly Homemaker, Supermom, or something. Um- no.

[newbie]

 

I am only drinking veggie juice, because of gallbladder, can I add Vodka, or is that a no no.

[Michelle T]

After all, us curly haired, non-Christian homeschoolers have to stick together, right?

 

I admit though, we have a trampoline. Can I still be your friend? ;)

 

Here's my current pet peeve:

 

people who stop their car WAAAAAAAAAY back behind the car in front of them when waiting at a stop light. I see this all the time lately, cars with room enough for at least two or three cars in front of them, just sitting there rather than pulling forward. And traffic backing up behind them.

Michelle T

[Gretchen in NJ]

I think everyone needs to unknot their panties.

:lol::lol::lol:

[Amy in NY]

Somehow, I missed the blowout. I just want to let you know that your religion/reason for homeschooling/political leanings really don't matter to me. If you knew me IRL, I'm the Christian who never goes to church and the homeschool mom who works almost full time. Thus, I've learned never to assume anything about anyone. (Remember assume = AS* out of U and ME!)

 

I like ya', fine. Hopefully, we'll meet for real someday.

Edited October 23, 2008 by Amy in NY
clarity

[chaik76]

Okay, it's been a few hours. I'm still angry. I probably shouldn't be writing this, but it's bugging me.

 

I'm pretty open about anything and everything, sometimes too much so. But I don't want people to think I'm hiding anything, so here goes. Sometimes I feel like there's another version of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for homeschoolers who aren't christian. It's easier to say nothing rather than opening yourself up to judgment and ridicule or feeling different or in the minority. I'm sure most of you can relate when you think of family, friends, or random strangers who have an opinon on homeschooling that might not mesh with yours.

 

So I'm coming out. I'm an atheist. I considered myself agnostic for many years until recently deciding for myself I was being a chicken and needed to admit it to myself at least.

 

If that means you think differently of me and choose to ignore anything I might have to say about any of the various topics on this board, so be it. I admit I'll be a little disappointed, but I'll get over it. It's entirely within your rights to do so.

 

But I think you're missing out when you write someone off entirely based upon that criteria. There's more to each person than his or her religion, educational level, political leanings, drinking preferences, favorite ice cream, etc. And I wonder if there are a lot of babies being thrown out with the bathwater. I've said before I won't use the ignore function, because there have been plenty of times I've disagreed with a poster on several issues and then surprisingly found myself nodding in agreement about another issue. It's not all black and white. That's too easy.

 

I may not discuss curriculum much here, but I do think I've contributed something to this board. A lot of times it's humor, and I know that doesn't jibe well with some people. (Homeschooling is serious business, darn it. :tongue_smilie:) But I do enjoy a laugh, and what may be funny to me might not seem too humorous to others. I'm used to giving and getting guff from my dad because we're opposites on the political spectrum. We tease each other constantly and sometimes we do get into heated discussions, but we're able to pull back and still respect each other for having thought out our positions ... even if we don't agree.

 

Since I'm baring all, here's a little thing I wrote. Originally I was just going to post this piece I'd written last year, but I thought I should preface it with my reasons for doing so. Today's outbreak reminded me of this list of pet peeves, specifically the part about writing someone off completely.

 

Keep in mind, I was pretty mad when I wrote it. It's an accurate description of my opinions, but I'm not usually that belligerent.

 

I'm not interested in debating these issues, but feel free to post your own list of pet peeves. :D

 

My list of pet peeves:

 

When people don't bother writing thank you notes. If someone actually took the time to think of you and send you something, how hard is it to acknowledge this gift with a note? Heck, in today's world, an email or a phone call would suffice. You made it to the bank pretty quickly to cash that check or to the store to use that gift card, but you can't be bothered to write a simple, "Hey, thanks. That was nice"?

 

When people say nucular instead of nuclear.

 

When people try to act younger than they are and refuse to accept the fact that they're getting OLD. Face it, you look ridiculous trying to dress hip, speak the lingo, and fit in with today's youth. Your kids need you to be a parent, not their best buddy.

 

When people assume that because my husband's in the military, I must, of course, support Bush and his policies. I love my husband truly, madly, deeply, but that doesn't mean I automatically have to assimilate his politics. Don't give me this bull** about supporting the troops either. I sent my husband stuff when he was in Iraq. I send friends and family stuff while they're in Iraq. I get a lot of emails with "Support the Troops!" pictures and messages, but they seem like pretty empty words because I found out who really "supported" the troops when I asked friends and family to send dh stuff while he was in the desert. I support the troops by wanting them to come home!

 

When people chain or pen their dogs for hours at a time. If you don't have the time or space for a pet and you can't give it all the love and attention it deserves after it's grown from its oh, so cute puppy or kitten stage, you shouldn't have one in the first place. This could apply for children, too. Don't think that you should have a child if you're not d**ed well good and ready to accept all the responsibility and work it entails. And don't get me started on people who let their dogs ride in the back of pickup trucks! Ask your veterinarian what he or she thinks of that! (BTW, both "tethering" and letting your dog ride in the back of a truck are illegal in some states.)

 

Home trampolines. Ask an ER doctor what he or she thinks of them.

 

When people driving a truck, SUV, or 4-wheel drive think they're invincible in snow or ice. Folks, in this case, size doesn't matter. You can have the biggest 4-wheel drive on the road and still hit a patch of ice that's gonna take you somewhere you don't wanna be.

 

Double negatives.

 

When people completely write off another person based upon their religious, political, or what-have-you convictions. Just because someone believes something like, oh, I don't know, the moon is made of cheese, it doesn't mean that person doesn't have any other redeeming qualities. People are made up of more than just one opinion or viewpoint. Lump them all together and you've lost perspective. But, hey, if you think life is all black & white, then I guess things really are simple for you. Because you're simple-minded. Might as well say you don't like anybody that has a lisp. Or loves roses. Or sings in the shower. (If I felt that way, I'd have to write off my husband and my dad because of their politics, and I'd have to write off my mom because she smokes!)

 

Right-to-lifers that support the death penalty. Can't have it both ways, fellas. Life is life.

 

When people smoke. Period.

 

When people send an email with everyone's email address on display for all to see. Learn how to use BCC.

 

When people send a forward or joke without checking its veracity on snopes.com or without bothering to clean up all the previous forwards and crap in the email. Learn how to google and how to right-click and cut, paste, or delete.

 

When people drive a gas-guzzler or SUV and then complain about rising gas prices in the US. Go live in Europe for a few years and learn why they've been driving fuel-efficient cars for years. (Hint: they've been paying through the nose for a h*l of a lot longer than we have.)

 

Racism. In any form.

 

When people think they're great writers and they can't even spell or form a coherent sentence. Read. Then read some more. (Reader's Digest and TV Guide don't count. Do you know those magazines are written for 9th-grade level reading?)

 

When people assume all homeschoolers are doing it for religious reasons.

 

When people bury their heads in the sand or blanketly deny things like evolution or global warming instead of READING and finding out for themselves whether or not it's true. You don't want to believe it? Fine. But read something to contradict your viewpoint instead of something that's basically just preaching to the choir. Challenge yourself to read something that contradicts your beliefs and then decide what you believe when you have information from both sides. Don't bother with those so-called "objective" articles and books. There's no such thing. There's always an agenda or goal. You just have to figure out which one can really stand the test of criticism and still holds true after all the dust has settled. And, no, hearing it on the radio, seeing it on TV, or reading it on the net doesn't mean it's fact.

Your thank you note peeve made me want to laugh! On another forum I'm on there was a huge debate about them!!

 

Other than that, I've never written anyone off for their religious or non-religious convictions. Too many people do that to me for me to do that too! As for your pet peeves, some of them I agree with, some of them I'm on the other side of the fence entirely. And I love to research both sides of an issue (people usually slink away from me when I start talking about things I'm researching...:tongue_smilie:)

 

Anyway, thanks for posting!

[Rosie_0801]

Other than the ones you listed the only thing I have to add is men who don't respond even though they heard you.

 

It's especially annoying when the guy has a hearing loss, so you really can't tell if they heard or not!

 

Apiphi, have a chocolate milkshake with extra topping. It'll make you feel better.

 

For the record, I'm a western taoist, non deitied, season based pagan and happily put my two cents worth into Christian threads whenever I feel like it. No one has told me to nick off, as yet :D Hey. We sometimes even agree on stuff! I know I'm not on everyone's ignore list, because I've managed to disagree strenuously with a few people numerous times. Then agree with them on other issues, lol.

 

:)

Rosie- fancying a chocolate milkshake

[laylamcb]

Apiphobic, I...really don't know what to say. :001_huh: I'm stunned. In shock. I don't know that I can remain virtual friends with someone who believes that the TV Guide is written at a 9th-grade reading level. There's no ding-dang way it's above a 5th-grade reading level--and I think, deep down, in your honest moments, you know that. If there's one thing I cannot abide, it's people who delude themselves.

 

When you're ready to come clean about Reader's Digest et al, I'm here with open arms.

 

Luv-n-kisses!

[KidsHappen]

I am re-posting it now. I have removed names and one paragraph that is not relevant to current discussions. I have to admit that is was well received and I have not noticed any change in people's opinions or interactions with me since that time. If anything I feel that the board has become more understanding and accepting of non-Christians in the intervening time. I also found that I have greater respect for some of the Christian posters who responded to this post.

 

 

 

I have only been visiting this board for about 18 months now. In all that time, I have never felt the need to mention my religious beliefs because most of the time it is not relevant or necessary to the threads that I participate in. I don’t usually participate in religious conversations because for the most part, I don’t have anything new or useful to add. However, from the very beginning it has been obvious to me that the Christians were/are in the majority on the board and that occasionally some of them were/are not very tolerant of non-christians. So I kept the fact that I am not a Christian to myself. I self-censored to avoid the hostility of some the Christians. I would hazard to guess that I am not the only one that has done this. I would also be willing to bet that some people will think differently of me after this post.

 

I have decided that this is something that I am willing to live with. I have finally realized that I need to stand up and be counted. There are probably a lot more of us (non-Christians) than we realize and we need to start supporting each other the way the Christians do. Most of the time, I can see both the Christian and non-Christian point of view. I can easily see that both sides feel persecuted. And for the most part I feel that most of the Christians on this board are more accepting, open minded and understanding than any of the Christians (except one of my aunts) that I have ever met in the real world. Most of the conversations are civil and most of the people go out of their way to try and not be offensive. Just a few people on each side make almost all of the offensive remarks. But I have also noticed that when a Christian makes a remark that a non-Christian may find offensive it is more likely to slide than if a non-Christian makes a remark that Christians may find offensive.

 

A recent example of a Christian remark that I as a non-Christian found offensive is when we were discussing creationism vs. Darwinism. Somebody made the statement that they could not see how someone could not believe that god created the world. The implication being that someone who felt that way was not very bright. There was absolutely no response to this statement. I found it offensive but I let it slide. The poster could have just as easily said, “I believe, think, feel . . . “ and communicated her point without insulting people who believe differently than she does. Imagine the response if someone had said, “I can’t believe that anyone would take the Bible literally and really believe that the world was created in six days.†I guarantee that there would have been an uproar.

 

An example of a non-Christian remark that many Christians found offensive is when (name removed) made the analogy about the Wiccan Goddess and several Christians jumped all over her about it. This was no more offensive that the previous example and yet it garnered much more response. Furthermore, for some reason it seems that it is acceptable for Christians to voice their displeasure when they find something offensive but not the other way around. There have been instances when a non-Christian has complained about something that they found offensive and several Christians asked why they felt the need to comment on it. “Why can’t you just pass it by?†they asked. First of all, we would like to believe that the person really did not know that they were being offensive and that they would like to know so that they can correct themselves. If they did realize that they are being offensive and just didn’t care then they need to be told that that is not acceptable.

 

 

It is also very difficult for non-Christians on these boards because some of the Christians seem to think that the reason we non-Christians are not Christians is because we don’t know any better, we haven’t tried hard enough, or we haven’t opened our heart to Jesus. I can’t speak for other non-Christians but that is not the case for me. I was born and raised Southern Baptist complete with hell-fire & brimstone, not to mention Amen, Hallelujah, & Praise the Lord. When I reached about 12 years of age, I started asking questions that my faith couldn’t answer. I couldn’t force my heart to believe something that my head did not and my head did not believe what my church was telling me. I spent the almost 30 years since then reading every book about Christianity, the Bible & Jesus that I could get my hands on. I have meditated and preyed. I have opened my heart to God and I honestly believe that his response was, “That is not your path!†I am still asking questions and I certainly don’t have all of the answers but I believe that I am on the path that God wants me on and has put me on. And I really resent it when a Christian tries to tell me that God is wrong.

 

I have tried to phrase this as politely and as delicately as I could but I am not as good at communicating as many on this board. It took me two days to write this. I am not trying to offend but merely to show what it feels like to be the minority. It really is coming from the heart and my hope is that most of the people reading this will maybe understand just a little bit better what it is like for the outsiders.

[5kidsforME]

I am re-posting it now. I have removed names and one paragraph that is not relevant to current discussions. I have to admit that is was well received and I have not noticed any change in people's opinions or interactions with me since that time. If anything I feel that the board has become more understanding and accepting of non-Christians in the intervening time. I also found that I have greater respect for some of the Christian posters who responded to this post.

 

 

 

I have only been visiting this board for about 18 months now. In all that time, I have never felt the need to mention my religious beliefs because most of the time it is not relevant or necessary to the threads that I participate in. I don’t usually participate in religious conversations because for the most part, I don’t have anything new or useful to add. However, from the very beginning it has been obvious to me that the Christians were/are in the majority on the board and that occasionally some of them were/are not very tolerant of non-christians. So I kept the fact that I am not a Christian to myself. I self-censored to avoid the hostility of some the Christians. I would hazard to guess that I am not the only one that has done this. I would also be willing to bet that some people will think differently of me after this post.

 

I have decided that this is something that I am willing to live with. I have finally realized that I need to stand up and be counted. There are probably a lot more of us (non-Christians) than we realize and we need to start supporting each other the way the Christians do. Most of the time, I can see both the Christian and non-Christian point of view. I can easily see that both sides feel persecuted. And for the most part I feel that most of the Christians on this board are more accepting, open minded and understanding than any of the Christians (except one of my aunts) that I have ever met in the real world. Most of the conversations are civil and most of the people go out of their way to try and not be offensive. Just a few people on each side make almost all of the offensive remarks. But I have also noticed that when a Christian makes a remark that a non-Christian may find offensive it is more likely to slide than if a non-Christian makes a remark that Christians may find offensive.

 

A recent example of a Christian remark that I as a non-Christian found offensive is when we were discussing creationism vs. Darwinism. Somebody made the statement that they could not see how someone could not believe that god created the world. The implication being that someone who felt that way was not very bright. There was absolutely no response to this statement. I found it offensive but I let it slide. The poster could have just as easily said, “I believe, think, feel . . . “ and communicated her point without insulting people who believe differently than she does. Imagine the response if someone had said, “I can’t believe that anyone would take the Bible literally and really believe that the world was created in six days.†I guarantee that there would have been an uproar.

 

An example of a non-Christian remark that many Christians found offensive is when (name removed) made the analogy about the Wiccan Goddess and several Christians jumped all over her about it. This was no more offensive that the previous example and yet it garnered much more response. Furthermore, for some reason it seems that it is acceptable for Christians to voice their displeasure when they find something offensive but not the other way around. There have been instances when a non-Christian has complained about something that they found offensive and several Christians asked why they felt the need to comment on it. “Why can’t you just pass it by?†they asked. First of all, we would like to believe that the person really did not know that they were being offensive and that they would like to know so that they can correct themselves. If they did realize that they are being offensive and just didn’t care then they need to be told that that is not acceptable.

 

 

It is also very difficult for non-Christians on these boards because some of the Christians seem to think that the reason we non-Christians are not Christians is because we don’t know any better, we haven’t tried hard enough, or we haven’t opened our heart to Jesus. I can’t speak for other non-Christians but that is not the case for me. I was born and raised Southern Baptist complete with hell-fire & brimstone, not to mention Amen, Hallelujah, & Praise the Lord. When I reached about 12 years of age, I started asking questions that my faith couldn’t answer. I couldn’t force my heart to believe something that my head did not and my head did not believe what my church was telling me. I spent the almost 30 years since then reading every book about Christianity, the Bible & Jesus that I could get my hands on. I have meditated and preyed. I have opened my heart to God and I honestly believe that his response was, “That is not your path!†I am still asking questions and I certainly don’t have all of the answers but I believe that I am on the path that God wants me on and has put me on. And I really resent it when a Christian tries to tell me that God is wrong.

 

I have tried to phrase this as politely and as delicately as I could but I am not as good at communicating as many on this board. It took me two days to write this. I am not trying to offend but merely to show what it feels like to be the minority. It really is coming from the heart and my hope is that most of the people reading this will maybe understand just a little bit better what it is like for the outsiders.

 

 

GREAT GREAT post!!! Thanks, and :iagree:. I am a christian and appreciate all that you said!

[chickenpatty]

If that means you think differently of me and choose to ignore anything I might have to say about any of the various topics on this board, so be it. I admit I'll be a little disappointed, but I'll get over it. It's entirely within your rights to do so.

 

 

 

FWIW, I'm a Christian & don't feel that way. I value this board for its diversity.

[[email protected]]

We attempt to deal with the intolerance of all unreasonable posters, whether Christian or non Christian. Both have been equally troublesome.

 

Moderator