Are dress codes sexist?

[EMS83]

No. Some women wear them because their boss requires them to.

 

Let's ban high heels. They are unhealthy and dangerous. Leggings aren't.

 

I literally would not work for a company that required me to wear high heels.

[regentrude]

I literally would not work for a company that required me to wear high heels.

 

I could not. Five minutes even in a half inch heel cause me excruciating pain. I try every semester on the first day of class - nope, can't do anymore.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I literally would not work for a company that required me to wear high heels.

 

I would not either.

 

No damn way...ever never never. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Judging by the fact I see leggings all the time, I am going with them probably not being banned anywhere.  I mean why?  Why would they be banned? 

 

 

[regentrude]

Judging by the fact I see leggings all the time, I am going with them probably not being banned anywhere.  I mean why?  Why would they be banned? 

 

Because they are tight and reveal the body shape of the (female) wearer. Under all circumstances, we must hide the fact that females have legs and buttocks.

Edited February 28, 2017 by regentrude

[SparklyUnicorn]

Because they are tight and reveal the body shape of the (female) wearer. Under all circumstances, we must hide the fact that females have legs and buttocks.

 

 

Ya know, I always wondered why some people who are very into "females should only wear skirts" believed that.  I thought...couldn't people see up your skirt?  How is that all prim and proper!?  Until someone explained it masks the legs and the female form.  Oh.  Well alrighty then.

 

It kinda cracks me up when I take my kid to his choir practice.  Mostly teen girls in the choir and they often dress to kill (for what I'm not sure because they all just sit there and sing).  Meanwhile there are the parents in their yoga pants or whatever else is comfortable.  :laugh:

[Guest]

For schools, I would much prefer a gender-neutral uniform (something basic like relaxed-fit khakis and a polo shirt or Oxford shirt) to all the stupid nit-picky rules. It would eliminate the distraction factors of both overly skimpy outfits AND designer labels.

Although as a mom who has teens in a private school with a dress code, I can tell you kids find other ways to display branding and social status. There's even a name for it - "Shoe Game." As in, "Garrett has shoe game because he has about ten pairs of LeBrons," or whatever. Or backpacks, or phones, or athletic gear or coats. Yeah, everybody has the same shirt or pants, but the kids are not deterred from social segregating based on accessories.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Although as a mom who has teens in a private school with a dress code, I can tell you kids find other ways to display branding and social status. There's even a name for it - "Shoe Game." As in, "Garrett has shoe game because he has about ten pairs of LeBrons," or whatever. Or backpacks, or phones, or athletic gear or coats. Yeah, everybody has the same shirt or pants, but the kids are not deterred from social segregating based on accessories.

 

absolutely....

[Guest]

My boys do. And most places here require those swim shirts for boys. For us it's mostly about sun exposure.

 

Otherwise I agree with you. And also, flat chested girls never seem to be told they are over exposed. Showing the same skin as any other girl in a swim suit, but the gal with more than a B cup is always too revealing. It's nonsense.

I AGREE with this for sure! I remember a mom at co-op going bat-sh!t insane over a teen girl in the sports class, who was wearing a tee-shirt, because, "as she's bending during sports, her HUGE D-B@@BS are spilling over her neckline..." So, should we ban tee-shirts? Or only for the voluptuous teens?

[Library Momma]

My daughter wears leggings all of the time to school (High School)- They are not banned here.  All of the rules apply to both males and females.  Shoulder straps need to be two finger tips in length so no tank tops for boys either.  No midriff bearing shirts.  No mesh shirts (which sounds like a throwback to the 80's).  If a boy were to wear a skirt it would need to be finger tip length too.

 

I think teachers use their discretion for the most part.  The only instances I've hear of where students were being called out on their wardrobe was where the student was really pushing the envelope.

 

 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

My daughter wears leggings all of the time to school (High School)- They are not banned here.  All of the rules apply to both males and females.  Shoulder straps need to be two finger tips in length so no tank tops for boys either.  No midriff bearing shirts.  No mesh shirts (which sounds like a throwback to the 80's).  If a boy were to wear a skirt it would need to be finger tip length too.

 

I think teachers use their discretion for the most part.  The only instances I've hear of where students were being called out on their wardrobe was where the student was really pushing the envelope.

 

Ok, but what kind of measurement is "two finger tips in length"?

[Library Momma]

Although as a mom who has teens in a private school with a dress code, I can tell you kids find other ways to display branding and social status. There's even a name for it - "Shoe Game." As in, "Garrett has shoe game because he has about ten pairs of LeBrons," or whatever. Or backpacks, or phones, or athletic gear or coats. Yeah, everybody has the same shirt or pants, but the kids are not deterred from social segregating based on accessories.

 

 

This - I can't agree enough with this.  When I was a kid there was a local school where the uniformed girls would compare who had larger diamond studs in their ears.  They also had ridiculously expensive handbags and even belts.  Anything that they could bring to school was fair game.

[Library Momma]

Ok, but what kind of measurement is "two finger tips in length"?

 

 

LOl I meant two fingers' width - Finger tip is for the skirt length.  I'm getting my finger metrics confused.

[SparklyUnicorn]

LOl I meant two fingers' width - Finger tip is for the skirt length.  I'm getting my finger metrics confused.

 

Ok then looking at my fingers, boys could most certainly wear typical boy tank tops.

 

Not that I'm questioning YOU on that.  I assume you didn't make the rule.  LOL

[Wheres Toto]

My work had a pretty loose dress code (business casual, jeans were allowed, no sneakers) and heels were definitely not required.  I ended up getting a doctor's note to wear sneakers when my plantar fasciitis was really bad.  I only had two pairs of shoes that were good for PF (they are expensive! $$$), one pair of sneakers and one pair of sandals and I wasn't wearing sandals in the middle of winter.

 

My youngest has a mix of one piece and two piece suits.  She prefers the two piece because they fit better and are easier, but does swim team which requires a one piece.

 

 

 

 

A number of high schools in our area have "business casual" dress codes.

 

No jeans, no leggings, no shorts, no gym shoes, shirts must have collars and sleeves, wear a belt if you have the kind of pants that go with a belt, etc . . . The rules are the same for either gender.

 

I can get on board with that, because I don't see it as targeting a single sex, and because many kids in our area don't get exposure to people working professional jobs, so the rules help convey the idea that they'll can be part of a professional community.

 

There are also schools that have requirements about colors due to gang issues.  That breaks my heart, but I can understand the reason.  

 

There are also some special ed schools around us that have the dress code that all kids must wear clothing from a "uniform" catalog (e.g. Lands End).  Any color or style is allowed, as long as it's from the catalog.  It's like halfway to a uniform.  One thing that's nice is it allows families with siblings in uniform schools (most of our public schools are) to share uniforms.  

 

This would be awful for my son, who has SPD.  He can't stand anything but soft sweat pants and t-shirts with no collar.    

[mom2scouts]

Most of the schools around here allow leggings ONLY if the rear is covered by a long shirt. My very thin dd loves leggings and wouldn't have a thing to wear to school unless I bought her a bunch of long shirts. Of course, she often comes downstairs to start homeschool work in her underwear. We joke that our school dress code is "you should be wearing pants".

[Bluegoat]

Yeah, I think it's sexist, but I'm almost irritated more by the fact that it's stupid! Leggings can vary so much in their overall look and fit, it just seems silly. I have one very nice looking pair of pants, lovely fabric, fitted but not tight, if you saw me wearing them you'd think they were slacks. But they were sold to me as "leggings". I also have a pair of "leggings" that are skin tight and look like they're for the gym, though they weren't sold as athletic wear. Anyway, point being, I think it's just silly to ban an entire category of clothing (a category that only women and girls wear!) when that type of clothing varies a great deal. A rule like "no tight pants", though not perfect, would have made more sense, and could also (at least in theory if not in practice) have been non-sexist.

 

This might be the reason.  The thing with a dress code is, if you are going to have one, it needs to be really clear about what you can and can't wear - easy for the person who is getting dressed in the morning, and easy for whoever enforces the code to objectivly decide wht is in or out.  Otherwise people get ticked off when there are decisions that seem inconsistant, or they disagree in the cases that are questionable - it is a pain, potentially embarrasing, and leaves open people to be, or seem, like they are discriminating.  Or it can make it hard to understand the rules.

 

My cousin a few years ago had this issue - she had her first real job, and was really upset when they told her to stop wearing leggings.  She felt they were discriminating as she was overweight and some thin other girls were wearing them.  I don't know how those girls were wearing them, under tunics or what, but for my cousin, they did look really unprofessional.  She was still wearing trendy cheap leggings with a t-shirt that came to the top of her hips, and unfortunately her weight did make a difference - as much as that is unfair, even the same outfit on someone else might have been more acceptable, and more expensive leggings, or worn with a different top, would have given a very different impression.

 

Now ideally, maybe her supervisor could have given her a lesson on how to dress, but that depends on a good quality supervisor with time, and I can't see it working at a school or camp at all.  I think in those settings, if you are going to have a code, banning whole categories may sometimes just be the most workable approach.

[SKL]

My only dress code beef (that I recall) was when my then-6yo, very petite daughter wore shorts to field day (as they were asked to).  Her butt is so skinny that even now (age 10) she can still wear her size 3 undies, so imagine back then ....   Her shorts were toddler size.  I wasn't going to go buy a pair of bermuda shorts for one day, so I sent her in what she had.  Got a comment from the teacher because they broke the dress code.  WHAT EVER.  :P  Just another reason to not be a fan of that teacher.

 

For the most part, our school phases in the more difficult dress code rules (as it can be hard to find small clothes that meet all the rules, and who cares what a little kid is wearing).  As long as they give me fair warning, I'm cool with whatever.  To me, it's a matter of respecting the relative formality of school.  My kids can go half nekkid to the swimming pool or gymnastics class, but school is different.

[Guest]

Although as a mom who has teens in a private school with a dress code, I can tell you kids find other ways to display branding and social status. There's even a name for it - "Shoe Game." As in, "Garrett has shoe game because he has about ten pairs of LeBrons," or whatever. Or backpacks, or phones, or athletic gear or coats. Yeah, everybody has the same shirt or pants, but the kids are not deterred from social segregating based on accessories.

Yep! And the car that drops you off, the purse your mom carries, etc. etc. Kids aren't dumb.

[Greta]

I've talked to the principal at ds's high school. They decided that the rule is that pants must have pockets or belt loops. They did that to avoid having to decide on an individual basis what pants were too tight.

 

Easier for them to enforce, and I certainly can understand their desire to avoid having to decide that on a case by case basis, because that presents a whole new set of problems.  But it doesn't sound like a very effective approach to me.

 

Thing is, it's a lot easier to ban leggings than to set up some kind of measurement criteria for how tight is too tight.

 

I really don't think wearing leggings is a fundamental human right or need.  It's against dress code, so plan on wearing something else.  No big deal.

 

 

Yes, I do agree with you on both points.  But I still think it's silly!   :001_smile:

 

This might be the reason.  The thing with a dress code is, if you are going to have one, it needs to be really clear about what you can and can't wear - easy for the person who is getting dressed in the morning, and easy for whoever enforces the code to objectivly decide wht is in or out.  Otherwise people get ticked off when there are decisions that seem inconsistant, or they disagree in the cases that are questionable - it is a pain, potentially embarrasing, and leaves open people to be, or seem, like they are discriminating.  Or it can make it hard to understand the rules.

 

My cousin a few years ago had this issue - she had her first real job, and was really upset when they told her to stop wearing leggings.  She felt they were discriminating as she was overweight and some thin other girls were wearing them.  I don't know how those girls were wearing them, under tunics or what, but for my cousin, they did look really unprofessional.  She was still wearing trendy cheap leggings with a t-shirt that came to the top of her hips, and unfortunately her weight did make a difference - as much as that is unfair, even the same outfit on someone else might have been more acceptable, and more expensive leggings, or worn with a different top, would have given a very different impression.

 

Now ideally, maybe her supervisor could have given her a lesson on how to dress, but that depends on a good quality supervisor with time, and I can't see it working at a school or camp at all.  I think in those settings, if you are going to have a code, banning whole categories may sometimes just be the most workable approach.

 

 

Yeah, this is the problem.  I'm all in favor of simple, common sense dress codes.  But then, no offense intended toward your cousin, there are people who don't have a good sense of what's appropriate, so the dress codes have to get more detailed and elaborate in response.  I had an acquaintance once who got a job at the office of a church, and was supposed to dress "business casual" because she would be representing the church to the public.  She was complaining to me that they had told her on her first day on the job that what she was wearing was not good enough, and she needed to dress nicer.  She thought this was totally ridiculous, that they were being far too picky.  Then the next time I saw her, she said that the outfit she was wearing that day was the same one she had worn on the first day of the job, and wasn't it crazy that they didn't approve?  She was wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie!!!  Some people don't understand that "business casual" does not mean "lounging on your couch watching tv casual" apparently.

 

 

 

My daughter attended a public charter school here for a very short time (just a few weeks - it didn't work out).  That school had a uniform that was exactly the same for the boys and the girls:  khaki pants and a blue polo with the school logo on it.  That just makes life so much simpler.  Based on my very limited experience, I think that uniforms might work out better than dress codes for school kids.  

[Bluegoat]

To me the question of boys response is also really about creating a sexual environment where it is inappropriate.  And I don't think that means I somehow think bodies are dirty or something to be ashamed of. 

 

I don't think the personal choice of individuals to wear what they want means anyone else who sees it being an immature baby or a perv if they are affected by it.

 

THis is the same reason I don't think it's particularly appropriate for boys or girls to display topless photos in the semi-private spaces in their lockers, or to do it in the toilets - much less out on the walls in the hallways.  Or for these things to happen in workplace environments.  The fact that it is the choice of the person putting up the picture isn't the point, or that the model presumably chose to have the photo taken.  Not does it mean that somehow nipples are dirty. 

 

But it is an image with a sexual intent, or that will have one for some, and that effect anyone who sees it in the environment, how people think about the environment and even behave in it.  Clothing that is meant to present people as sex objects has the same effect, which is why it seems out of place when you see your doctor wearing it or the clerk at the DMV, and it would generally be considered inappropriate in those places.

 

And setting is important here - I have no issue with nudity in places like pools or saunas, and so on.  I don't really care about mixed gender, open change rooms though I think it is ok if that is not done in a particular culture.  These are utilitarian nudity. 

 

But I think it is pretty naïve to say that what we do in public does not send a signal about how we are supposed to think about others, and that women haven't been particularly put in the position of having to present themselves as sexually desirable.  Young people in particular are vulnerable to those messages.

 

Countries where nudity is not considered shameful don't necessarily think expectations for dress in other stings are bad or sexist - the two aren't invariably connected.

 

 

[Ellie]

Slightly OT, but I'm really amused by dress codes at homeschool functions. Yes, parents, you are smart enough to home educate a child but you can't be trusted to pick out their clothes. 🙄

 

There is a county-wide graduation for homeschoolers held in a city and state that shall remain nameless. The organizer, every year, has required *girls* to have their dresses approved. By her. Nothing is ever said to the boys. I believe she even critiques the mothers' dresses.

[Lady Florida.]

Well lots of girl swimmers need one pieces. Speedo makes them and you can find them at Kohls among other places.

 

My guess for the reason swimmers wear one pieces has more to do with the sport and practicality than for modesty reasons though.

 

I would agree if not for the sentence about a swim suit being too revealing.

 

And yes Moxie, I think a leggings ban is sexist.

Edited February 28, 2017 by Lady Florida.

[Sarah CB]

Yes, since an item in banned that is standard street wear for students of one gender for a sexist reason: they are allegedly "distracting to boys".

If anybody can give me a sensible reason why leggings should be banned that does not have to do with the female body, I'm all ears.

 

I think leggings can be banned for other reasons, though whether they're sensible or not is debatable.

 

At my kids' school they wear uniforms. Girls are not allowed to wear leggings under their skirts - they have to wear socks or pantyhose or tights. Obviously, that has nothing to do with distracting boys as bare legs or pantyhose are likely a lot more distracting than leggings. 

[regentrude]

I think leggings can be banned for other reasons, though whether they're sensible or not is debatable.

 

What reasons, that do not have to do with the female form?

[Bluegoat]

.....

 

 

Yeah, this is the problem.  I'm all in favor of simple, common sense dress codes.  But then, no offense intended toward your cousin, there are people who don't have a good sense of what's appropriate, so the dress codes have to get more detailed and elaborate in response.  I had an acquaintance once who got a job at the office of a church, and was supposed to dress "business casual" because she would be representing the church to the public.  She was complaining to me that they had told her on her first day on the job that what she was wearing was not good enough, and she needed to dress nicer.  She thought this was totally ridiculous, that they were being far too picky.  Then the next time I saw her, she said that the outfit she was wearing that day was the same one she had worn on the first day of the job, and wasn't it crazy that they didn't approve?  She was wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie!!!  Some people don't understand that "business casual" does not mean "lounging on your couch watching tv casual" apparently.

 

 

 

My daughter attended a public charter school here for a very short time (just a few weeks - it didn't work out).  That school had a uniform that was exactly the same for the boys and the girls:  khaki pants and a blue polo with the school logo on it.  That just makes life so much simpler.  Based on my very limited experience, I think that uniforms might work out better than dress codes for school kids.  

 

Oh, no offence taken, my cousin really doesn't understand what is appropriate.  She doesn't seem to be able to see the difference between what she was wearing - a pair of leggings where they looked very stretched and thin, and like she was wearing tights that doesn't fit properly - and a pair of thick, good quality jeggings fitted properly, maybe with a nice tunic or longer cardigan.  This is a girl who wore hot-pants that looked like she was in her underwear to high school and couldn't see that they were not quite the same as just wearing shorts - after all, they were "in style" and for sale in a trendy mall store.  And now she's 21, and still doesn't get this.  She also knows she wants to be attractive to boys but not quite where the line to offering herself up as a sexual object is, and not just in terms of clothes either.

 

I think this is part of the problem with dress codes in schools and some workplaces.  It isn't just that some students are motivated to push the envelope consciously - they also have kids that just don't get it.  How do you write a dress code so you don't have girls like my cousin trying to impress the boys by wearing their underwear to school?  Or is it best just to let them go ahead, and let their parents take some action - and what would that mean for the other kids?

[TechWife]

But all the boys wear a suit that covers them from just below their chin to the tops of their shoes, and goes down to their wrists.  Men in tuxedos are like women in burkas--not a smidgen of skin showing, except that their face and heads are bare.  

 

So...it's not the same.  

 

Unless the boys are wearing different things to prom nowadays than when I was a kid.

 

Check this out: 

When Suits Become a Stumbling Block  

 

Clothing should not be an issue - what is the issue is the hearts and minds of people. People should be respected no matter what they are wearing. The thoughts and actions of other people are not my responsibility. 

 

From a Christian perspective, I am the woman God created me to be and He did not create me to cause other people to sin. Me being, acting and dressing like a woman is not what causes others to sin - people choose to sin of their own accord. 

[Bluegoat]

What reasons, that do not have to do with the female form?

 

For the same reason boys might not be allowed to wear sweatpants, is one possibility.

[regentrude]

For the same reason boys might not be allowed to wear sweatpants, is one possibility.

 

and what reason would that be?

 

[Sarah CB]

What reasons, that do not have to do with the female form?

 

Well, in the example I gave above, I'm trying to figure out how the leggings ban would have anything to do with the female form?

 

The girls at school can wear skirts or khaki pants. When they wear skirts, they are not allowed to wear leggings underneath their skirts. They are allowed to wear bare legs with socks or pantyhose or tights. Wouldn't you agree that leggings would likely be the most conservative thing to wear underneath a skirt? They're thicker than any other option. I honestly can't see how the leggings-under-skirts ban in our school has anything at all to do with the female form.

[regentrude]

The girls at school can wear skirts or khaki pants. When they wear skirts, they are not allowed to wear leggings underneath their skirts. They are allowed to wear bare legs with socks or pantyhose or tights. Wouldn't you agree that leggings would likely be the most conservative thing to wear underneath a skirt? They're thicker than any other option. I honestly can't see how the leggings-under-skirts ban in our school has anything at all to do with the female form.

 

Wow, that is beyond stupid. Who could even TELL whether they are wearing opaque tights or leggings???

Yes, that is just nuts. What reason do they give for this?

[Heathermomster]

IDK whether dress code is sexist, but the dress code at our local cover makes me crazy. I spent 6 years as a USN enlisted female wearing electrical safety boots, bell bottomed dungarees, and a tight bun with a stupid hat. My uniform did not deter whistles and comments made by complete strangers. The human heart is the issue, and it burns me up that I am dressing down my 3rd grader so that she doesn't sexually attract some pervy homeschool boy. Like, she will grow to become morally bankrupt for wearing a dad approved tank top?

 

And I am the mother of a teenaged boy. Social media has been the issue for DS and his peers, not dress code. The biggest demanders of dress code completely ignore or overlook the pictures and messages that their teenaged children are posting online.

 

My DD takes ballet on Friday morning's. Afterwards, she changes tops and wears either a knee length wraparound skirt that I made or she wears a maxi skirt. She saves that one outfit for Friday. I initially planned to purchase a school uniform for her, but they don't meet the dress code requirements. The skirts are too short, and you must be able to pinch an inch on the pants. No bare shoulders or collar bone. Shorts fit to the knee. Leggings may be worn under dresses and skirts but may not be worn to accommodate a short skirt or dress. With DS, shorts must be worn to the knee, no sweat pants, no shoulders, no athletic shorts, and no skinny jeans.

 

My DD lives in a two piece bathing suit. For swim lessons, she wore a one piece, but function dictated that choice. Honestly, I have joked with both kids about sending them to class wearing burkas with bathing suits underneath.

[Sarah CB]

For the same reason boys might not be allowed to wear sweatpants, is one possibility.

 

I think that's probably right. Maybe they feel that leggings under a skirt looks too casual? Just as a boy wearing sweatpants would look too casual? 

[Bluegoat]

and what reason would that be?

 

 

Can you not think of places where it would be considered inappropriate to go to work in sweatpants?

[Sarah CB]

Wow, that is beyond stupid. Who could even TELL whether they are wearing opaque tights or leggings???

Yes, that is just nuts. What reason do they give for this?

 

I actually haven't asked, since I only have boys at the school, but my guess is that they felt leggings made the uniform look too casual? I saw some pictures from before the ban, with girls wearing leggings under their skirts and bare feet with ballet flats or Birkenstocks. I thought they looked cute, but apparently not.

[TechWife]

 I think for the most part the only thing banned now is stuff like flip flops.

 

Oh, the horror! Banning flip flops - oh dear. I'm hoping this is for safety reasons, the same reason I have to wear closed-toe shoes. But, oh, banning flip flops shouldn't be a thing. 

[SKL]

I could see how leggings under a skirt could be viewed as too casual, especially considering the wide range of leggings available.

 

My kids wear plain dark blue or black leggings under their skirts, which are basically the same as tights, except that they are better for the playground.  Still, they do fade and can look a bit slovenly after a number of washes.

 

I think dress codes should take into account the need for skirt wearers to move freely at appropriate times.  When I was a kid, it was just underwear under there, and even walking down the hall, the boys would flip up our skirts and stuff.  I hated it.  My girls don't need to be bothered with such things.

 

I guess there are some tights (including "footless tights") that provide enough coverage for cartwheels etc.  I hope they are allowed everywhere, at least where it gets cold ....

[Lady Florida.]

Oh, the horror! Banning flip flops - oh dear. I'm hoping this is for safety reasons, the same reason I have to wear closed-toe shoes. But, oh, banning flip flops shouldn't be a thing. 

 

I don't know if they still do, but at one time the schools here banned flip flops. We wear open toed shoes year round. Flip flops and other backless shoes/sandals were considered a safety hazard. So yes, safety. And all sandals/open shoes weren't banned, just ones that have open backs.

[Murphy101]

I ban flip flops in my home for my children. I hate them. The sound they make with every step. The stubbed toes and slipping out of them by accident that happens frequently. The way it changes how they walk and the inability to run properly. My children have never worn a pair.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I ban flip flops in my home for my children. I hate them. The sound they make with every step. The stubbed toes and slipping out of them by accident that happens frequently. The way it changes how they walk and the inability to run properly. My children have never worn a pair.

 

Well, I never!!!!

 

:D

 

I love that sound. It says "summer's here!" to me  :party:

[Saddlemomma]

I can't think of the last time I saw a girl between the ages of 3-17 wearing a one piece. Where do you even buy them??

 

I live in extremely rural ME.  We don't have shops where you can just go out and buy a decent swimsuit -- Mardens & Walmart are it. However, my DD, aged 14, will ONLY wear one-piece swimsuits. She has mild eczema and doesn't like how a two-piece suit feels on her skin. She's also tall and lean with an hour-glass shape and feels the one-piece is more flattering on her body. To make matters worse, she hates the girly designs with famous people on them, or sayings, or Disney. She hates pink or purple. Therefore, we shop online and always get her one-piece suits.

 

Her latest is a black one-piece with high cut legs. She had the same one when she was 12 in a smaller size. I remember my jaw dropping to the floor the first time I saw her with it on.  I definitely, as her mother, wanted to cover up my baby. The two swim instructors in our little neighborhood had the same reaction. (Neighbors donate their pool to the town.) The two of them couldn't keep their eyes off her. It was embarrassing.  At 12, she was oblivious of course, but when one of the instructors was talking to me about her abilities, (he thought she was ready to start assisting in instructing students) I had to tell tell him she wasn't old enough since she was only 12. His eyes got huge and he said, "Are you serious?!" From then on I noticed their eyes didn't stray as much.  I can't imagine how that scenario would have played out had she been wearing a two-piece.

[Murphy101]

I also call bull on the notion that men don't dress for sex appeal. They absolutely do dress to attract women. That it is different than how women might dress to appeal to men doesn't mean it doesn't happen all the time. The difference just means that men and women are different. I flatly refuse to accept the notion that women can't be equal to men unless they become the same as men. It's no secret that women and men are different sexually, so let's not pretend otherwise.

[Julie Smith]

My husband complains about the concept of a dress code at his work because he reasons what the hell he is an adult.

 

Their dress code is very relaxed.  I think for the most part the only thing banned now is stuff like flip flops.

 

My Dh started a new job recently. He was told the dress code was no shorts or t-shirts. 

 

He is finding it difficult, because of the no t-shirts. His manager has worn a t-shirt a few times, so he thinks he might start wearing a nice solid color one. I do know he will find it strange in the summer with the no shorts rule. He also use to wear crocks, or flip flops at the office. So that is also a change for him. 

[fairfarmhand]

I ban flip flops in my home for my children. I hate them. The sound they make with every step. The stubbed toes and slipping out of them by accident that happens frequently. The way it changes how they walk and the inability to run properly. My children have never worn a pair.

 

I hate them too.

 

My older girls wear some. I still hate them.

 

I  try to compromise by buying leather, higher quality ones that look nicer, fit better and give more support.

 

They do have some cheap ones they wear outdoors like to go feed the chickens or something but I don't like them leaving the house in the cheapies. And now that my older girls have better quality thong sandals they generally choose those for going places because they;re just more comfortable than the cheap plastic ones.

[Murphy101]

Well, I never!!!!

 

:D

 

I love that sound. It says "summer's here!" to me :party:

Lol. It's equal to hearing someone making a smacking noise while chewing with their mouth open to me. It's the walking version of that! So I'm politely silent when it happens outside my house but inside my house I'd lose my mind if I had to listen to that x10 all day long.

[Greta]

I ban flip flops in my home for my children. I hate them. The sound they make with every step. The stubbed toes and slipping out of them by accident that happens frequently. The way it changes how they walk and the inability to run properly. My children have never worn a pair.

 

 

I wish I could remember where I read this, but it was a long time ago and my memory is terrible.  But I know I read somewhere that while high heels get so much negative attention for being bad for your feet and back, flip flops are actually just as bad because of the unnatural way you move in order to keep them on.  I know that I don't like the way my feet feel when I wear them -- I have to sort of scrunch my toes to keep them on, and it gets uncomfortable pretty quickly.  Not as quickly as high heels, though, so that part may have been an exaggeration!

[Aura]

Re: leggings under skirts being banned....My niece went to a public school that had a uniform. Those that wanted to assert their individuality (like my niece) wore brightly colored, mis-matched socks and knee highs, because those weren't covered by the dress code! The girls would wear their polo shirts and khaki uniform skirts with a bright pink zebra knee-high on one leg and purple rainbow ankle sock on the other.  :lol: I suspect that could be why a school would ban leggings under a skirt, if they were going for a uniform look.

[Murphy101]

As for work dress codes...

 

My dh comes home with enough crazy stories for me to assure you that dress codes at work are a must. Both men and women have had to be pulled in for "advisement" for what should be no brained stuff. Like yes, you need to shower somewhat frequently and you can't wear pajamas to work or ratty tshirts or jeans that expose boobs or butts.

 

My son works in machining. Very hot and sweaty dirty work. No one wears shorts and tshirts. It's jeans or work pants and polo shirts.

[TechWife]

Lol. It's equal to hearing someone making a smacking noise while chewing with their mouth open to me. It's the walking version of that! So I'm politely silent when it happens outside my house but inside my house I'd lose my mind if I had to listen to that x10 all day long.

 

Shoes inside the house?? Oh my, that's as bad as not wearing flip flops. 

 

Can you tell I'm a southerner? 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I hate them too.

 

My older girls wear some. I still hate them.

 

I  try to compromise by buying leather, higher quality ones that look nicer, fit better and give more support.

 

They do have some cheap ones they wear outdoors like to go feed the chickens or something but I don't like them leaving the house in the cheapies. And now that my older girls have better quality thong sandals they generally choose those for going places because they;re just more comfortable than the cheap plastic ones.

 

I'm honestly just feeling so attacked right now  :toetap05:

 

 

I wish I could remember where I read this, but it was a long time ago and my memory is terrible.  But I know I read somewhere that while high heels get so much negative attention for being bad for your feet and back, flip flops are actually just as bad because of the unnatural way you move in order to keep them on.  I know that I don't like the way my feet feel when I wear them -- I have to sort of scrunch my toes to keep them on, and it gets uncomfortable pretty quickly.  Not as quickly as high heels, though, so that part may have been an exaggeration!

 

Actually, this is true, they're not great for feet. The ones that are firmer and have more support and more shape around the foot are better for you, but my podiatrist gave me a friendly little lecture about it the last time I saw her (although she said they're moderately better than bare feet), and she has a poster in her office about it. It hasn't really changed my wearing habits, but I did buy some nice, supportive sandals. I don't love them, though. Frankly, if I could go barefoot everywhere, I would. I hate having shoes on!

Edited February 28, 2017 by ILiveInFlipFlops