Are dress codes sexist?

[Moxie]

I had a long post but I'll cut to the chase--are dress codes that ban leggings sexist?

[regentrude]

Yes, since an item in banned that is standard street wear for students of one gender for a sexist reason: they are allegedly "distracting to boys".

If anybody can give me a sensible reason why leggings should be banned that does not have to do with the female body, I'm all ears.

 

 

Edited February 27, 2017 by regentrude

[Lawana]

Yes. A person wearing leggings is covered. That should be enough.

[Guest]

People actually ban leggings? Yes, that would be sexist, imo.

Don't most schools? All our schools here have banned them.

[Kassia]

Yes, I think they are.  In our school district, the middle school bans them, but not the high school.  In a neighboring district, they are banned at the high school, but girls can wear their sports outfits on certain days - cheerleaders with short skirts, volleyball players with short spandex shorts, etc.  It makes no sense.  And it's all because leggings are "too distracting."  I don't see the difference between tight jeans and leggings anyway.  

 

And girls can only wear sleeveless shirts with shoulder straps that are two or three fingertips wide (I forgot which it is).  Whose fingertips?  Who is measuring?  What's the difference in how distracting something is?  

 

What really gets me is when the staff can determine if something is too revealing or tight or too short or whatever.  That is creepy to me to have adults checking out teen girls.

[Ellie]

Well, are pants hanging down below the wearer's underwear banned? Because generally, females don't wear those.

 

I don't think it's necessarily sexist to ban a certain type of clothing that is worn only by females, as long as there some kinds of clothing that address males, too.

[regentrude]

I don't think it's necessarily sexist to ban a certain type of clothing that is worn only by females, as long as there some kinds of clothing that address males, too.

 

It's about the reason they are banned. Having rules is not inherently sexist. Having the rule because the female body is considered a "distraction" is sexist. 

And insulting to the male students, too.

 

ETA: and stuff like this leads directly into slut shaming and blaming female victims for their clothing choices.

Edited February 27, 2017 by regentrude

[Peaceseeker]

Aren't pretty much all dress codes relating to girls about their sexuality? Cover up those shoulders, the shorts or skirts are too short, gotta cover up the legs. No bare midriffs, you need to cover up your belly. No cleavage, gotta cover up the girls. What part of a dress code for girls isn't for covering her up so the boys aren't distracted? Unless everyone has to wear plain dress pants and a polo or something, then it would seem most dress codes are sexist. Very little seems to relate to boys, other than piercings, unnatural hair color, or occasional shorts lengths (but most boys style shorts are longer).

Edited February 27, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[fairfarmhand]

Well, are pants hanging down below the wearer's underwear banned? Because generally, females don't wear those.

 

I don't think it's necessarily sexist to ban a certain type of clothing that is worn only by females, as long as there some kinds of clothing that address males, too.

 

This.

 

Leggings are not banned here, as long as the shirt/dress covers the bottom and crotch of the leggings. I suppose to make sure that if the leggings are a bit more sheer than the wearer realized.

 

And yes, boys can't wear their pants falling down either.

Edited February 27, 2017 by fairfarmhand

[fairfarmhand]

This dress code is for the summer camp that my kids attend. I love it because it's not really gender specific.

 

DRESS CODE

Modesty is an important way that we honor God and show respect for ourselves and each other. Even good people may disagree on specific standards and practices, but we have chosen to model and encourage appropriate dress.
 

Campers are very active. Clothing that is too tight or loose is not conducive to our level of activity. So we have adopted the following standards:

 

• All parts of underwear must be covered (including bra straps, waistband of boxers, etc).

• Midriffs must be covered.

• Oversized arm holes on T-shirts or tank tops are not allowed on boys or girls.

• Short shorts are not allowed. Shorts must be longer than the campers fingertips when he or she is standing with hands to the sides.

• Any clothing that requires constant adjustment (pulling down or up, tugging at seams or straps) should not be worn at camp.

• We no longer require one piece swimsuits for girls. However, campers may be asked to wear a t-shirt over their swimsuit even while swimming if the suit is too revealing. Instead of a swimsuit cover up, we wear our clothes over our swimsuit when moving to and from the pool.

• Clothing with off-color or morally bankrupt advertising is not allowed.

 

 

P.S. I am not arguing that people can't ever wear clothing that doesn't fall under these guidelines. But, for certain places, a dress code is useful. I just like this one because it's not all about the girls clothing.

 

Flame away.

Edited February 27, 2017 by fairfarmhand

[Guest]

Well, are pants hanging down below the wearer's underwear banned? Because generally, females don't wear those.

 

I don't think it's necessarily sexist to ban a certain type of clothing that is worn only by females, as long as there some kinds of clothing that address males, too.

And that is what the administrators say when people question the women-only leggings ban. But, the baggy pants thing is pretty uncommon in our white, midwestern town. There are boys with skinny jeans but jeans aren't banned, just leggings.

[Guest]

Slightly OT, but I'm really amused by dress codes at homeschool functions. Yes, parents, you are smart enough to home educate a child but you can't be trusted to pick out their clothes. 🙄

[Guest]

This dress code is for the summer camp that my kids attend. I love it because it's not really gender specific.

 

DRESS CODE

Modesty is an important way that we honor God and show respect for ourselves and each other. Even good people may disagree on specific standards and practices, but we have chosen to model and encourage appropriate dress.

 

Campers are very active. Clothing that is too tight or loose is not conducive to our level of activity. So we have adopted the following standards:

 

•  

  All parts of underwear must be covered (including bra straps, waistband of boxers, etc).

•  

  Midriffs must be covered.

•  

  Oversized arm holes on T-shirts or tank tops are not allowed on boys or girls.

•  

  Short shorts are not allowed. Shorts must be longer than the campers fingertips when he or she is standing with hands to the sides.

•  

  Any clothing that requires constant adjustment (pulling down or up, tugging at seams or straps) should not be worn at camp.

•  

  We no longer require one piece swimsuits for girls. However, campers may be asked to wear a t-shirt over their swimsuit even while swimming if the suit is too revealing. Instead of a swimsuit cover up, we wear our clothes over our swimsuit when moving to and from the pool.

•  

  Clothing with off-color or morally bankrupt advertising is not allowed.

 

 

P.S. I am not arguing that people can't ever wear clothing that doesn't fall under these guidelines. But, for certain places, a dress code is useful. I just like this one because it's not all about the girls clothing.

 

Flame away.

I can't think of the last time I saw a girl between the ages of 3-17 wearing a one piece. Where do you even buy them??

[regentrude]

This dress code is for the summer camp that my kids attend. I love it because it's not really gender specific.

 

The passage about swim suits is.

 

 

We no longer require one piece swimsuits for girls. However, campers may be asked to wear a t-shirt over their swimsuit even while swimming if the suit is too revealing. Instead of a swimsuit cover up, we wear our clothes over our swimsuit when moving to and from the pool.

 

Unless the boys also have to wear T-shirts while swimming.

Edited February 27, 2017 by regentrude

[Peaceseeker]

Well lots of girl swimmers need one pieces. Speedo makes them and you can find them at Kohls among other places.

 

My guess for the reason swimmers wear one pieces has more to do with the sport and practicality than for modesty reasons though.

Edited February 27, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[Ravin]

Slightly OT, but I'm really amused by dress codes at homeschool functions. Yes, parents, you are smart enough to home educate a child but you can't be trusted to pick out their clothes. 🙄

 

When it comes to picking out clothes, I tend to unschool...

[Ravin]

The passage about swim suits is.

 

 

Unless the boys also have to wear T-shirts while swimming.

 

A boy could show up in a Speedo and bare chest and be asked to wear a T-shirt.

 

If boys are allowed to go with bare chests, then I agree.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Well, are pants hanging down below the wearer's underwear banned? Because generally, females don't wear those.

 

I don't think it's necessarily sexist to ban a certain type of clothing that is worn only by females, as long as there some kinds of clothing that address males, too.

 

Terrible argument.  You are comparing how something is worn to an article of clothing itself.

 

The intent behind a rule matters as well.

[marbel]

Aren't pretty much all dress codes relating to girls about their sexuality? Cover up those shoulders, the shorts or skirts are too short, gotta cover up the legs. No bare midriffs, you need to cover up your belly. No cleavage, gotta cover up the girls. What part of a dress code for girls isn't for covering her up so the boys aren't distracted? Unless everyone has to wear plain dress pants and a polo or something, then it would seem most dress codes are sexist. Very little seems to relate to boys, other than piercings, unnatural hair color, or occasional shorts lengths (but most boys style shorts are longer).

 

The only thing that couldn't apply to males here is cleavage, and that's simply because they don't have any.  If boys are also not allowed to wear shorts that are too short (some of you might remember the short, tight shorts guys wore in the '80s, ugh), have their belly exposed, etc. then it's equal.   Just because guys don't tend to wear stuff like that doesn't mean it's unequal.    Covered shoulders?  Does that mean no strapless tops?   Gah, I'd ban those in school because they are such a distraction to the wearer.  I don't think I've ever seen anyone wearing a strapless top who wasn't always fiddling with it to keep it up.   Bride dresses are an exception. I guess those are so constructed they aren't going to be falling down.  :-)

 

I think something like "no skin-tight trousers" would cover leggings and skinny jeans.  But even the skinniest jeans I've seen are not as revealing as most leggings.  

[regentrude]

   Covered shoulders?  Does that mean no strapless tops?

 

It usually means no straps at all - top has to have sleeve cap. No sleeveless shirts or summer dresses. Because, shudder, shoulders!

I don't get this one at all.

[Joker]

I've never seen a dress code that I didn't think was sexist and all about how females look in certain types of clothes. 

 

We're in the Midwest in a rather conservative school district but thankfully this is one area that they just don't care. Most of the girls are in leggings year round here and they don't even have to wear shirts long enough to cover their butts. They look perfectly fine, though. My dd doesn't care for leggings but is she happy to finally be at a school that she can wear tank tops and summer dresses to in the warmer months.

 

There is even one day a year, almost at the end, where senior boys wear short jean shorts. The story goes that several years ago a girl was sent home due to her jean shorts and the next day several guys wore them and none were sent home. They did it to prove a point and I guess it stuck because it doesn't seem they enforce any dress code anymore. I'm sure they do if something is way out there but leggings and tank tops are thankfully ignored and they also seem to be more generous than other schools in regards to length of dresses/skirts. I think it's a good thing. 

 

 

ETA: Another thing I like about here is they don't have any code for hair. Our other schools seemed to all have rules for how long boys hair could be, about boys and facial hair, and about dying your hair. There is none of that here. Boys can have long purple hair and beards and girls can too if they want. 

Edited February 28, 2017 by Joker

[Zinnia]

I can't think of the last time I saw a girl between the ages of 3-17 wearing a one piece. Where do you even buy them??

 

And every little girl I know wears one pieces until she gets to middle school/high school age.  The starting to dress sexy ages.

[Joker]

And every little girl I know wears one pieces until she gets to middle school/high school age.  The starting to dress sexy ages.

 

 

Or the stage where one pieces don't fit comfortable anymore due to a long torso. Or the stage where they would rather not have to fight with their suit to use the bathroom. Sometimes it has to do with comfort and functionality and nothing at all to do with dressing sexy. 

[ikslo]

My job has a "sexist" dress code. And yes, it bans leggings. And long hair on men. And spaghetti straps. And shorts. And visible undergarments. And...Whatever.

 

The guys and gals in the lab get to wear jeans, which makes me a bit jealous. But at least we (female office workers) can wear sandals and capris in the summer.

Edited February 28, 2017 by ikslo

[Guest]

And every little girl I know wears one pieces until she gets to middle school/high school age. The starting to dress sexy ages.

Excuse me?? My dd's wear two-piece suits and I promise they aren't doing it to be sexy. You might want to check your thinking.

[Kassia]

I can't think of the last time I saw a girl between the ages of 3-17 wearing a one piece. Where do you even buy them??

 

My daughter will only wear one pieces.  I've bought them at Target, Kohl's, Lands' End...

[SKL]

It doesn't strike me as sexist.  To me, leggings that hug the skin are not much different from tights, and I can't imagine boys or girls wearing something of that nature where a school dress code applies.  Unless, of course, there is a skirt also covering the private parts.

 

Just because it's something boys wouldn't wear doesn't mean it's sexist to say girls can't wear it.  To turn it around, a girl in our society wouldn't walk around topless, though boys often do.  Does that mean it's sexist to require boys to wear shirts at school?

 

I do have kids who are uncomfortable in other kinds of pants, so they wear leggings under skirts / dresses.  In more informal settings, they wear leggings with a t-shirt.  The only time it's an issue is where they have a modified dress code where they are allowed to wear "t shirt and jeans" or whatever.  That doesn't work for my kids, so they either wear regular school dress or (on outdoor field trips etc.) request an exception (which has been readily granted in the past).

 

Either way, I can't see getting riled up about this sort of thing.

Edited February 28, 2017 by SKL

[SKL]

Yes, since an item in banned that is standard street wear for students of one gender for a sexist reason: they are allegedly "distracting to boys".

If anybody can give me a sensible reason why leggings should be banned that does not have to do with the female body, I'm all ears.

 

So is it sexist to require the wearing of shirts, knowing that this only really affects boys?

[SKL]

I can't think of the last time I saw a girl between the ages of 3-17 wearing a one piece. Where do you even buy them??

 

My kids have worn exclusively one-piece swimsuits for years.  The swim team requires it for one thing.

 

I used to prefer 2-piece when the girls needed to go to the bathroom frequently, but now it does not matter to us either way.

[Rebel Yell]

This dress code is for the summer camp that my kids attend. I love it because it's not really gender specific.

 

DRESS CODE

 

Modesty is an important way that we honor God and show respect for ourselves and each other. Even good people may disagree on specific standards and practices, but we have chosen to model and encourage appropriate dress.

 

Campers are very active. Clothing that is too tight or loose is not conducive to our level of activity. So we have adopted the following standards:

 

 

•  

  All parts of underwear must be covered (including bra straps, waistband of boxers, etc).

•  

  Midriffs must be covered.

•  

  Oversized arm holes on T-shirts or tank tops are not allowed on boys or girls.

•  

  Short shorts are not allowed. Shorts must be longer than the campers fingertips when he or she is standing with hands to the sides.

•  

  Any clothing that requires constant adjustment (pulling down or up, tugging at seams or straps) should not be worn at camp.

•  

  We no longer require one piece swimsuits for girls. However, campers may be asked to wear a t-shirt over their swimsuit even while swimming if the suit is too revealing. Instead of a swimsuit cover up, we wear our clothes over our swimsuit when moving to and from the pool.

•  

  Clothing with off-color or morally bankrupt advertising is not allowed.

 

 

P.S. I am not arguing that people can't ever wear clothing that doesn't fall under these guidelines. But, for certain places, a dress code is useful. I just like this one because it's not all about the girls clothing.

 

Flame away.

 

 

I Ike the part about TOO LOOSE clothing also not being acceptable for certain activities. A loose tshirt three sizes too big on a girl basically ends up being a peep show when she bends over unless she clutches the neckline, and who has a free hand for that during sports? And super baggy shorts on guys... don't hide much depending on how he's sitting

 

 

 

Slightly OT, but I'm really amused by dress codes at homeschool functions. Yes, parents, you are smart enough to home educate a child but you can't be trusted to pick out their clothes. 🙄

 

 

I once had a mom at the homeschool coop say directly to my face (during a discussion on dress code) that she didn't want her boys looking at my girls.

 

What I wish I had said to her was that her boys were some of the last ones in earth my daughter's wanted to have looking at them anyway.

 

It's been maybe 4 years and my daughters are still angry about this.

 

 

And every little girl I know wears one pieces until she gets to middle school/high school age.  The starting to dress sexy ages.

Oh good grief... I have nothing nice to say out this.

 

For the record, even my little girls wore two pieces. Even preschool,sizes. Much easier to use the bathroom. Plus they were just very hard to fit, I was always glad for separates I could purchase in different sizes.

 

Also, two pieces have the option of the square bottom or boyshorts. So some girls like that for more coverage along with a high necked top...

 

And another thing, clothing does not equal morality. Scummy people of all sorts wear three piece suits, awesome people can certainly wear bikinis. Heinous sins happen whether people are nudists or covered literally head-to-toe.

 

And if you think there are no "sexy" one piece swimsuits I dare you to do a google search.

[City Mouse]

Unfortunately, when specific items of clothing banned, it is usually because someone violated the spirt of previous regulations.

 

I am sure than no one here would allow their child (male or female) out in public in leggings that are two sizes too small and a tshirt that maybe reaches the child's belly button, but there are kids who do try to wear such an outfit to school because the particular items of clothing were not listed in the ban

[Bluegoat]

Not necessarily.  Almost every society has social norms on clothing that are, objectively speaking, somewhat arbitrary, but subjectively make sense in that social/historical context.  I don't think social differences about sex are intrinsically sexist.

 

In our society in particular, women's clothing is often deliberately presenting women as a sex object - for the most part this isn't the case with men's clothes.  So you tend to see a lot more issues with this aspect of it with women - either deliberately trying to sexualize girls and women (like many waitresses face) or trying to exclude what would be unprofessional (in an office, say) or inappropriate (say, in a school).

 

As far as leggings, I'd say it depends.  It could be a matter of being over-zelous in covering women.  I have seen instances though were I think it was partly for simplicity - it was too difficult to make clear why some leggings were ok but others not, and dress codes really require simplicity and uniformity to work well.

 

And leggings could also be banned on totally different grounds as too informal for a particular place, rather like sweatpants or yoga pants.

 

 

[Ravin]

Unfortunately, when specific items of clothing banned, it is usually because someone violated the spirt of previous regulations.

 

I am sure than no one here would allow their child (male or female) out in public in leggings that are two sizes too small and a tshirt that maybe reaches the child's belly button, but there are kids who do try to wear such an outfit to school because the particular items of clothing were not listed in the ban

 

That's pretty much what DD would wear every day if she could. Yesterday she wore leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt to the zoo. Had it been warmer, it would have been a crop top (and possibly a miniskirt or skort, though she'll wear leggings in almost any weather). My philosophy is, if neither of us is going to get arrested (or in her case, sent home from her enrichment program, which is run by a school district that has a dress code basically designed to keep the LDS happy), she can wear what she wants. It's not my job to police my teenage daughter's clothing choices.

 

My son often wears inexplicable layers to school. We don't police him, either, though I will let him know when his choices are unconventional. I might ask him why he's wearing three t-shirts, but I don't tell him he has to take two of them off.

[elegantlion]

If leggings were banned at my university, probably 70% of the female population would need a new wardrobe. Black leggings are the standard uniform around here. 

[FriedClams]

I can't think of the last time I saw a girl between the ages of 3-17 wearing a one piece. Where do you even buy them??

Lands end

Costco

Academy sports

 

My daughter wears them with a swim shirt and tempo shorts. She's much more comfortable modesty-wise and doesn't get sunburned. I wear a sleeveless swim shirt over my tankini as a swim skorty bottom. My son and husband also wear swim shirts.

[KungFuPanda]

I see both sides. I don't like them gunning for the girls, but it WOULD be distracting if someone came to school in their underwear. You've gotta draw the line somewhere or someone will show up bare-chested and in boxers.

[EMS83]

The passage about swim suits is.

 

 

Unless the boys also have to wear T-shirts while swimming.

 

Mine do.  :)

[Peaceseeker]

I don't get the shoulder thing. When did shoulders become a sexual body part? All these home school dances around me are requiring crazy 3-5 inch widths on dress straps. Of course there is almost nothing like that in retail so effectively it means all the girls are wearing old lady cardigans over their formal wear. Just because we are homeschoolers I don't necessarily want my kid to have to wear a granny sweater all night at the formal dance because shoulders are banned. I think it is a bit ridiculous.

 

On the other hand I saw some recent public school prom dresses and HOLY MOLEY we weren't wearing stuff like that when I was in school. Crazy sexy cutouts, sheer dresses, deep plunges in front and back and slits all the way up. I am no prude but I was a little shocked parents were letting their kids out like that at 16.

 

I guess everyone has a line (or at least most of us, some perhaps wouldn't mind a nude society). But sometimes it feels like the whole world is focused on telling my daughter what to wear one way or another. It would be nice if these were decisions I could have as a parent or she could have as a person, instead of everyone trying to determine it for us!

 

Edited to delete last section-veering off topic!

Edited February 28, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[Ali in OR]

If leggings were banned at my university, probably 70% of the female population would need a new wardrobe. Black leggings are the standard uniform around here. 

 

Here too. And maybe I'm just used to it, but I don't see the look as overtly sexual at all. Black leggings, wool socks, birkenstocks or Ugg-type boots, sweaters or flannel shirts at the high school. More Nike type leggings at the college--more athletic. We're also very casual and informal here, so these clothes aren't "underdressed" for the occasion.

[EMS83]

Lands end

Costco

Academy sports

 

My daughter wears them with a swim shirt and tempo shorts. She's much more comfortable modesty-wise and doesn't get sunburned. I wear a sleeveless swim shirt over my tankini as a swim skorty bottom. My son and husband also wear swim shirts.

 

Online:

Hydro Chic has cute sporty options, as well.  Expensive, but well-made.

Coolibar is a good place, also.  Again, expensive, but good material.  I get my boys' swim shirts from there.

[Tree Frog]

People actually ban leggings? Yes, that would be sexist, imo.

 

Our local high school has banned them, but turns a blind eye when they're worn unless the girl is wearing shorts over them. Then she's cited for a dress code violation. Very convoluted!

[Peaceseeker]

NM- I was veering off topic!

Edited February 28, 2017 by CaliforniaDreaming

[Greta]

Yeah, I think it's sexist, but I'm almost irritated more by the fact that it's stupid! Leggings can vary so much in their overall look and fit, it just seems silly. I have one very nice looking pair of pants, lovely fabric, fitted but not tight, if you saw me wearing them you'd think they were slacks. But they were sold to me as "leggings". I also have a pair of "leggings" that are skin tight and look like they're for the gym, though they weren't sold as athletic wear. Anyway, point being, I think it's just silly to ban an entire category of clothing (a category that only women and girls wear!) when that type of clothing varies a great deal. A rule like "no tight pants", though not perfect, would have made more sense, and could also (at least in theory if not in practice) have been non-sexist.

[fairfarmhand]

The passage about swim suits is.

 

 

Unless the boys also have to wear T-shirts while swimming.

they do I believe. Most of the guys I know do that for sun protection anyway

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[regentrude]

If it's not for sun protection, it's to hide stomachs. What on earth is wrong with a stomach ?

 

There is nothing wrong with stomachs. There is nothing wrong with shoulders. And there is nothing wrong with breasts either.

[Guest]

Yeah, I think it's sexist, but I'm almost irritated more by the fact that it's stupid! Leggings can vary so much in their overall look and fit, it just seems silly. I have one very nice looking pair of pants, lovely fabric, fitted but not tight, if you saw me wearing them you'd think they were slacks. But they were sold to me as "leggings". I also have a pair of "leggings" that are skin tight and look like they're for the gym, though they weren't sold as athletic wear. Anyway, point being, I think it's just silly to ban an entire category of clothing (a category that only women and girls wear!) when that type of clothing varies a great deal. A rule like "no tight pants", though not perfect, would have made more sense, and could also (at least in theory if not in practice) have been non-sexist.

I've talked to the principal at ds's high school. They decided that the rule is that pants must have pockets or belt loops. They did that to avoid having to decide on an individual basis what pants were too tight.

[TechWife]

Yes, since an item in banned that is standard street wear for students of one gender for a sexist reason: they are allegedly "distracting to boys".

If anybody can give me a sensible reason why leggings should be banned that does not have to do with the female body, I'm all ears.

 

My husband wears leggings when he runs. He is very distracting to me. I imagine it would be equally distracting to his co-workers if he were to wear them to the office, but for most of his co-workers, it would be for a different reason. Leggings alone (without something like shorts, skirt or dress over them) are not appropriate office attire. 

 

Good dress codes are about dressing appropriately for the situation. 

[regentrude]

I've talked to the principal at ds's high school. They decided that the rule is that pants must have pockets or belt loops. They did that to avoid having to decide on an individual basis what pants were too tight.

 

I bet there are leggings with either.

[TechWife]

 

Dress codes should be about functionality - so, things like 'you must wear covered shoes in the science lab'.  Not 'your pants are too tight in my opinion, you hussy'.

 

Yes, exactly. Dress codes should be about being appropriate to the situation. 

[TechWife]

Well, are pants hanging down below the wearer's underwear banned? Because generally, females don't wear those.

 

 

 

In our schools, they are.