Remember my gaining weight post?

[Night Elf]

I understand some of you are trying to lose and I hope my post isn't offensive. I'm in the opposite position. I lost a lot of weight and now I'm being told I'm too thin. I posted not that long ago about gaining a few pounds and how to do it without starting to eat a lot of food. I just cannot eat a large portion of anything in one sitting. For example, I have to eat a 6 inch subway sandwich in two sittings. If I overeat, I simply feel sick to my stomach. Anyway, I did gain 3 lbs. and it took me a while to talk myself into accepting that it was okay to do. I had spent so long maintaining my lower weight that the idea of gaining was scary for me. Part of it is I'm 49 years old and my mom thinks I'm right around the corner from menopause and that I'll gain 10 lbs. without doing anything different in my diet. So I don't feel like I should gain weight if I'm going to put on so much with menopause.

 

DH thinks I'm too thin. He thought my gaining some was healthy. He'd like to see me gain another 5 lbs. And then last weekend, we went to see my mom who I hadn't seen in about 6 months. When we were talking this morning, she told me she thought I was too thin. She thinks I should gain another 5 lbs. So that's two people I love and trust tell me I'm too thin. I just don't know if I can handle watching the number on the scale go up. What do I do? I thought about not weighing myself. It's freeing to have a day where I don't weigh, but the idea of giving it up completely freaks me out. I met my first weight loss goal in 2011 and lost additional weight in 2012, and a little more in 2013. I've been maintaining that low weight all this time. I'm used to seeing these low numbers. Do I really have a problem if I don't want to see it increase? Overall, I lost about 55 lbs. I just don't want to gain it back. I was very unhappy being overweight. But now I've swung the other way and that doesn't seem to be healthy either. I don't know.

[kiana]

If you're not ready to throw out the scale but know you need to gain some, I honestly think I'd store the scale at someone else's house (your mom's maybe?) and weigh less often. You know how much you need to be eating now to slowly gain -- you know you're not going to explode overnight -- and you also know that if you do overshoot your gain goal by a pound or two, you can lose it again if you are unhappy there. 

 

It was surprisingly challenging for me to gain when I went for my first "bulk" and I had to do something similar. 

[Lisa R.]

Has a doctor suggested you gain weight? Do you feel healthy? Do you feel that light headed feeling that comes from not eating enough?

 

When women in their mid to late forties are thin or lose weight, their faces look thinner at these ages than it looked if they weighed that same weight when they were younger. Does that make sense? Could they be referring to that? So, you could be at a healthy weight but "look" thinner than they are used to.

 

If you are healthy and have energy, I certainly wouldn't force feed.

 

Also, clothing can make all the difference. Wearing clothing that is fitted well and that flatters your particular shape makes a difference too. Fit becomes more important after the age of 40, as well, and can make a significant difference in appearance.

 

Just some ideas to say that your weight could be just fine.

[AmandaVT]

Are you underweight? I lost 40 lbs (and am currently working on re-losing most of it) about 10 years ago. I had a few family members tell me I was too thin, but in reality, I was at a normal BMI, but I was just thinner than most people and a lot thinner than they were used to seeing me. If you're not underweight and if you and your Dr. are happy with where you are, maybe you don't need to gain anything?

 

(looks like Lisa R and I had the same thoughts!)

Edited February 4, 2017 by AmandaVT

[SarahW]

Could it be that people are used to the old you, and now are having a hard time accepting the new thinner you?

 

I mean, people can play mind games with themselves about weight, but people also play lots of mind games with other people about their weight. I would first consider whether the problem isn't you, but them. Could they be projecting insecurities about themselves upon how you look?

 

I hate the "too thin" comments. I'm average-average, average height, average build, average weight. I have a genetic tendency to pack fat only on my abdomen, however, which drives me crazy, because then nothing fits right (I also put fat on my neck, which is weird, and makes me look weird). In any case, I do try to control my weight, but if I dip a bit too far below average weight, good Lord, everyone is commenting on it! I'm really not even that skinny!

 

Stop weighing yourself every day. Maybe check in with the scale once a week, or once every two weeks. Go by how your clothes fit. And go by how you feel.

 

Not sure what advice you got before about gaining weight, but have you tried working out with light free weights? They give nice muscle definition that prevents a skinny-sickly look, and are great for building bone strength in women. Plus, a bit of muscle will add weight, so you can honestly say that you've gained a few pounds.

[Paige]

How do you feel? Do you have energy, feel warm, and sleep well? Or, are you shaky, tired, getting sick frequently, and have sore muscles? Also you could use a BMI calculator and compare your current BMI to yours before you lost weight. Being a little underweight is no big deal, IMO, just like being a little overweight is no big deal. I wouldn't necessarily listen to others; thin people, who are healthy, are often told they are too thin by people who aren't used to a different body type. 

 

You could schedule a physical if it would make you and your DH feel better. 

[Night Elf]

If you go by the traditional weight ranges, the range for my height is 128 - 160. I got down to 128 and gained to 131. Now both DH and my mom want to see me in the high 130s. DH did specifically comment on my face being thin. I don't know what my mom thought was thin about me. The thing that bothers me is she is very weight conscious. She was so proud that I lost so much weight and has encouraged me to maintain the loss. But now she's decided I'm too thin.

 

I had my annual physical last October and my doctor did not say anything about my weight. I didn't bring it up either because I was fine with it.

 

I have energy, feel I get enough sleep, wake up feeling rested. I never get symptoms of eating too lightly like being dizzy or vague in mind. I just eat 4 or 5 small meals in a day rather than 3 moderate ones. I still follow the Weight Watchers way of eating and tracking food and if I'm not mistaken, I'm probably getting about 1200 calories daily. I'm 5' 7" and am really a sedentary person. For the past week, I've done a 30 minute slow walk on the treadmill each day, but I can't walk fast or my knee starts hurting. I don't know if I'll keep up walking. From past experience, I do it for about a month and then stop for several months. So I don't feel I need a lot of calories because I'm not active. If I eat more than usual, I gain. I'll have what I consider to be a big eating day once a week and then lose the gained weight in a day or two of going back on my daily tracking.

[Annie G]

You seem pretty fearful of gaining too much weight, which is totally understandable.  Without revealing numbers, where do you fall on the recommended weight for your height?  In the middle of healthy weight? If you're there, no need to gain weight. But, gently, are your dh and mom maybe worried that you are too  focused on your weight and they are concerned about your eating habits?  

 

I'm not saying that you have an issue with food, but it might be what your dh and mom are thinking especially if you eat smaller than normal meals. Some people just don't get that others don't need to eat as much. But it's also a good time to be honest with yourself and make sure you don't have an issue with food.  And if you don't, and you're not at an unhealthy weight, have a talk with your family to let them know you're ok.  Because being badgered about your weight is no fun, whether you're overweight or underweight. 

:grouphug:

[Annie G]

I saw your updated post with numbers- you are at an ok weight, but are you happy with a sedentary life?  Walking is super good for you and some stretching and light weight training would also be really good for you.   Being more active will improve your sore knees, not make it worse (if done properly).

 

 

 

[gardenmom5]

how is your diet?  is it healthy?  do you take in enough recommended healthy calories for your age and activity level?

 

128lbs doesn't seem that uber thin unless you are very tall.  (I'd be telling 2dd to gain weight at that point.  she's 5'11".)  

 

have you lost muscle in your weight loss? or just fat?  are you also physically active?  how is your performance?  has it improved or decreased (which can happen if you lose too much weight.) with your weight loss?

 

it's not all about what the scale says.  I've an acquaintance who was always thin.  she became a personal trainer - and *gained* 20 lbs.  she also lost a dress size.   I would take the scale away - how about only weigh yourself every other day to start.  work up to once a week.  pay attention to how your clothes fit to guage.

 

do you feel like  you have enough control in other areas of your life?

 

my friend made the rule with her dd that she had to weigh more than the dog (big dog) and she wouldn't bug her.  

 

[Night Elf]

I know I should be more active. I barely passed PE in high school because I hated it so much. I didn't start purposefully exercising until my 40s and I've not done it consistently, ever. I do about a month or so and then stop. I've tried several things, including joining the YMCA and using their gym. I'm most successful on the treadmill because I can watch a funny show for 30 minutes and the walk goes by quickly. DH has dragged me outside sometimes but I hate being outside. It's so BORING! I don't know how he does long runs.

[SparklyUnicorn]

How do you feel in general health wise?  I'd say don't fix what isn't broken.  But if you aren't feeling well...

 

 

[Night Elf]

how is your diet?  is it healthy?  do you take in enough recommended healthy calories for your age and activity level?

 

128lbs doesn't seem that uber thin unless you are very tall.  (I'd be telling 2dd to gain weight at that point.  she's 5'11".)  

 

have you lost muscle in your weight loss? or just fat?  are you also physically active?  how is your performance?  has it improved or decreased (which can happen if you lose too much weight.) with your weight loss?

 

it's not all about what the scale says.  I've an acquaintance who was always thin.  she became a personal trainer - and *gained* 20 lbs.  she also lost a dress size.   I would take the scale away - how about only weigh yourself every other day to start.  work up to once a week.  pay attention to how your clothes fit to guage.

 

do you feel like  you have enough control in other areas of your life?

 

my friend made the rule with her dd that she had to weigh more than the dog (big dog) and she wouldn't bug her.  

 

I think my diet is fine. I don't eat a lot of junk. I like white foods though, bread, potatoes and rice. I usually eat less than 150 grams of carbs a day though, since one time my A1C was up so high. I have a family history of diabetes so I do try to be careful. See my previous posts about my activity level.

 

I've never had what you could call muscles. I lost all fat.

 

The fit of my clothes isn't a good gauge because I do not wear form fitting clothing. I wear relaxed jeans and extra large shirts. I did finally buy a smaller size of jeans but they are still too big. I haven't tried on a smaller size. I don't think they'll fit comfortably. I simply cannot stand snug clothing.

 

[Paige]

I would tell DH and Mom to shove it. What would you say if they were on your case for being 5-10lbs overweight? You feel healthy, you are eating normally, and they should keep their comments to themselves.

 

 

[Night Elf]

How do you feel in general health wise?  I'd say don't fix what isn't broken.  But if you aren't feeling well...

 

I feel good! I'm not overly tired. I do take a 20-30 minute nap each day, at least most days. I don't consider that to be a bad thing though. I have enough energy to do the things I like to do. I don't like doing much though. I sit around most of the day as my likes are sedentary. I read, play games on my computer, read these boards, and occasionally research things that interest me. I am not nor have I ever been an active person. Well, when I was in elementary school I played outside all day but I don't think we really did active things.

 

[StephanieZ]

Sounds to me like your mom and dh are trustworthy and are looking out for your best interests. 

 

If you are at 128 (or 131), and that is at or near the very low end of a healthy BMI for your height, then, to me, the numbers agree with your dh and your mom that you are on the borderline of being too thin. 

 

This sounds more like an emotional/psychological concern, and I'd think you're best served by finding a good therapist to discuss the issue with. 

 

Gaining 5# to put you still at the lower to middle end of healthy BMI is certainly not a negative health-wise. 

 

As we age, our bodies actually generally do BETTER at somewhat higher BMI. There is some strong data that BMIs below 23 or so are worrisome as we age. Obviously, all BMI and similar "rules of thumb" are generalizations and not necessarily reflective of a problem with a specific individual. However, in general, I have come to understand that perhaps the generalization of healthy BMI ranges nudge upwards as we age, and that we should likely aim to be in the healthy range <45 or so and then nudge upwards a point or so every 5 years from then on . . . So, maybe if BMI of 19-20 was the *low* end of good for a 40 year old, 21-22 maybe for 50, 23-24 for 60, etc. That's just a guesstimate from a total lay person . . . but I did read up a LOT on this issue as my own mom lost weight in her old age, and I was her health care proxy / medical POA / etc, so I had responsibility to help assess what was best for her and how to achieve that . . .

 

You obviously have a very good ability to manage your weight (well done!!). You know what you need to do to maintain it, and you can do the math to figure out how to gain a few pounds and then maintain that. I think you just need to figure out what's holding you back from doing that. It's likely fear of being heavier again, which is totally understandable, but should also be something you can overcome for your overall health and wellbeing. 

[footballmom]

I am similar weight and height to you and have had spells where I've been told my face is looking too thin.  It sounds like weighing yourself has been great motivation / accountability, but your needs have changed to more maintenance and perhaps it's hard to break that relationship with the scale.  It sounds like your family is well meaning, but I think it may not be realistic to put a number on how much weight you "should" gain to have you look more healthy.  5 pounds really isn't much when you think about it will be distributed all over, if that makes sense.  I agree with others who suggested it could be the way your clothing is fitting too.  I see in your post that you don't like snug things - I totally get it.  I would encourage you to try on a bunch of jeans and find something that fits well - buy it!  Well fitting does not have to = tight, and it will help you gauge where you are weight wise without a daily weigh in and it may help your family to not see you in clothing much too big for you.  I hope that makes sense :)

[ktgrok]

As we age we do better with a bit more reserves, in case of pneumonia, illness, etc. So I do think a bit of reserves is a good thing. But honestly, maybe adding some muscle would be better. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I think you sound just fine, and I don't think you should give up the progress that you have made with difficulty because of these comments.  If you were down around 110 and still losing, I'd be very concerned.  At 5'7" and 128, I would say just maintain.  You sound like you're at a healthy weight for you.  Your skin will shrink back somewhat--my dad lost a lot of weight at one point, and his face looked drawn for a while, and then it evened out after maybe 6 months.  Then he looked a lot more healthy.  That might be the phase that you're in.  

 

Regarding exercise, ITA about the treadmill, and I wonder whether you have engaging outdoor trails where you enjoy the wildlife?  Spring is coming, and that's a great time to get outside in a lot of areas.  I have found that as boring as a long walk by myself can be, if I'm out in the wild I can go and go and go because the trees and birds and such are so interesting.  Your husband, being a runner, is probably experiencing the 'runner's high', which I did not actually discover until I was in my 50s, LOL.  That is actually pretty pleasurable.  I can't get it from walking, but I can when I jog.

 

Also, you might try to up your treadmill time or intensity a bit as you get into shape.  Maybe TWO TV shows per day?  Interval training is very efficient also, and you can set up some treadmills to do an interval program I believe.  

 

If you want an easy, fast muscle building program that you can do at home, pick up the book "Strong Women Stay Young" and just do the upper body part.  It focusses heavily on form, and on doing things right.  

 

 

[stephanier.1765]

I recently lost a lot of weight and my parents and my dh all tell me I'm too thin. I'm 5'6" and 130 lbs. That's not too thin, it's just thin looking for *me*. They still have that image of me in their minds of a heavier person so this new body doesn't match the one in their head. I'd go with how you feel and what the dr. thinks.

[solascriptura]

I wouldn't let their comments bother me. If you're comfortable in your skin, it's fine. I do have to say that being thinner in middle age sometimes...ages you? A little bit of fat seems to smooth lines and plump up skin. My friends that are very thin in middle age look good body wise but the skin on their faces and necks look loose. But to each her own! Do what you want!

[Janeway]

They all need to accept you for who you are. Too fat or too thin, they should not be commenting. This is up to you. 

 

Assuming there is no medical problem causing the weight loss, then I would tell them to keep their body shaming to themselves. Somehow, people seem to think it is ok to comment on others' weight. And telling someone they are too thin seems to be "acceptable" but is not.

[Pawz4me]

Your BMI is currently 20.5

If you gained five pounds it would be 21.3

 

Normal BMI is 18.5 - 24.9

 

So you're perfectly fine where you're at and would be perfectly fine if you gained five pounds.

 

As someone who had an eating disorder in the past I'm kind of concerned about the tone of your post. To say that the idea of not weighing daily is "freeing" but also freaking you out indicates a wee bit of an obsession with the number on the scale. I've BTDT and it's not a good place to be. Not wanting to see the numbers increase isn't unusual, I don't think. But being freaked out about it is a little out of the norm.

 

FWIW -- Not everybody gains weight during menopause. I'm 54 and am 25 pounds lighter than I was a couple of years ago.

 

I agree that you need to do what's right for you. But you've got two people who love you telling you you're too thin. I wouldn't rule out the possibility that they see something worrisome going on with your weight or your attitude about it. Eating disorders can develop at any age.

Edited February 4, 2017 by Pawz4me

[SparklyUnicorn]

I feel good! I'm not overly tired. I do take a 20-30 minute nap each day, at least most days. I don't consider that to be a bad thing though. I have enough energy to do the things I like to do. I don't like doing much though. I sit around most of the day as my likes are sedentary. I read, play games on my computer, read these boards, and occasionally research things that interest me. I am not nor have I ever been an active person. Well, when I was in elementary school I played outside all day but I don't think we really did active things.

 

 

Eh tell people to stop scrutinizing your body.  It's making you crazy.  There is nothing wrong with you.  Geesh

[Selkie]

There are three things you said that raised red flags for me:

 

•Your husband is worried. If it were some random acquaintance telling you you're too thin, I'd say ignore them. But it's your husband, the person who (presumably) knows and loves you best.

 

•You are only eating 1200 calories a day. That is very low. The average woman should be eating around 2000 calories per day to maintain weight.

 

•You are excessively fearful about gaining even just a few pounds. 

 

Honestly, those three things make me think that you may be veering into eating disorder territory and may need some help.

 

 

[foxbridgeacademy]

Years ago (like almost 20) I lost a bunch of weight after having my 2nd child.  I'm  just under 5'2 with a very small bone frame and I was down to 130.  People told me I looked sick and that I was too thin (Ideal is 108-121). If you feel healthy and you like your weight then I'd smile and tell them thanks you'll think about it.

[JudoMom]

I would focus on walking daily, even if you hate it, and work on increasing your speed a bit.  Then, after it's a habit (much like you've made watching your diet a habit, which I'm sure you didn't like at first), I'd add in some light weights, even if it's just carrying some 3 pounders while you walk on the treadmill.

This will add a bit of muscle which will help combat the menopause gain your mother's warning you about and improve your heart health.

I'd also add in maybe a 6th small meal and see if that helps you gain a bit slowly.  

[wintermom]

According to research, it's more healthy to be physically active and over-weight than inactive and thin. Your sedentary lifestyle is way more of an issue than how far into the BMI index you are. Get moving and stay moving. Don't stop after a month. 

Edited February 5, 2017 by wintermom

[swellmomma]

It is a hard thing when you have worked hard to lose weight and then others start to make comments about being too thin.  I wonder if they are not worried specifically about the weight itself but of the mindset with it.  You indicated you are still following the weight watchers method of tracking food and eat about 1200 calories a day.  Many small meals instead of 3 large ones are fine. How is you body image perceptions?  With tracking food and weighing in often etc it can make those around you worried about hyperfocus on weight.  And they don't know how to voice that so they just say too thin.  There is a lady in my fit fam, she lost 100 lbs over the course of a year or so,  had a tummy tuck last year.  She is within her targeted weight range but she drives me bonkers.  She is always fretting about what she is eating, not completely happy with her results.  She did lose a lot in her face, enough that it is bordering on appearing too thin.  She has complained that friends, family and coworkers have commented about her being too thin.  But I see a woman who is obsessed with the weight game and paranoid to regain the weight, to the point that the number on the scale and the numbers of tracking food are controlling the decisions she makes in her life.  It is funny because it is a group just for those of us we are either customers or coaches within the same upline.  It is a group focused on fitness, yet she posted recently she is struggling with the programs that cause an increase in muscle (so over all fitness) because they make her gain weight.  She can't see that 5-10lbs of weight gain of muscle is not a bad thing, for your health over all it is actually important.

Now all of that and it may not be anything like you.  I am just thinking of her situation and being frustrated with the too thin comments, when I see that likely those comments are ill voiced concern for her.

As for a sedentary lifestyle.  You can be thin and have a heart attack due to poor cardiovascular health.  You can be thin and unfit.  Thin should never be the goal, fit should be regardless of body size.  If your knees hurt from walking start with water based exercise or things like yoga, tai chi etc.  Gentle on the joints but still great for the body.  If you can only walk 30 minutes, walk that 30 minutes but increase the speed or incline.

When it comes to being consistent with exercise you need to find something you love, your soul workout, so to speak.  I was the kids that always failed PE in school since 2nd grade.  I hated exercise (or so I thought).  Turns out I hated feeling like I couldn't do it, after all failing at it all for a decade teaches you, you can't do it.  Truth be told I often still don't like it in the moment but I love it afterwards.

I found what works for me.  Starting with the dvd programs I use, added in some races and other challenges.  Started lifting weights.  I LOVE weight lifting.  Currently my focus is on cardio and core rather than weights, trying to get up to running my races and not just walking.  It is hard to build up to a good fitness level whether you are thin or fat.  At this point in time I am a fit fat person.  I have 100 lbs to lose still but do my workouts, have a 1/2 marathon next weekend (a winter one, so cold), do obstacle course racing, etc.  Anyway, back to you.  My point is I was the one that hated exercise and PE and now I do something active nearly everyday.  To ward off boredom on outside walks load up a good playlist or a podcast or 2 to listen to.  Sometimes I don't want to head out for my walk, I hate every step, and have to argue with myself not to just quit and call it good enough.  I set a goal of a certain distance or a certain length of time and just keep going one foot in front of the other whether I want to or not.  The hardest part is always just getting started.

You may find that if you gain some muscle the comments stop because you will have some structure to your body and not merely skin and bones that accompanies someone who is thin but unfit. 

[swellmomma]

Also I was just looking at a weight range scale it says for women 5'7" and over 35yrs old the ideal is 134-172 which is higher than what you were going by which was considered to be the healthy range for someone 18-34 yrs.  There is a big difference in those lower numbers between the 2 age categories.  Maybe finding a middle ground between the 2 would be a healthier option. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I have an idea.

Do you have the kind of scale that measures body fat?

What if instead of focusing on your weight, you focus on your fat percentage for a while?  More muscle, less fat will make you fitter.  You can sustain your weight or move up or down a little big, but you will have shifted your mindset to something else.

[Plink]

Your numbers aren't frightening, but the way you talk about them is. I'd have a chat with the doctor to see what they advise re: your sedentary lifestyle and low calorie intake.

[Night Elf]

I honestly do not understand the idea that 2000 calories is for maintaining weight. When I eat that, and I do occasionally when I have a day like I did yesterday, I gain at least 1.5 lbs. overnight! If I ate like that every night I'd gain all 55 lbs. back and then some!

 

I understand some of you are alarmed at my obsession, for lack of a better word. It's just I worked so hard losing that initial weight. I think it was late 2010 when I joined Weight Watchers. So technically I've been tracking food and watching my weight for 7 years now. I just can't turn that off. And the additional weight I loss past my original goal weight was when I had to start watching my carb intake according to my doctor's suggestion. I dropped close to another 10 lbs. just from doing that. I started eating more vegetables and meat and less bread and potatoes. I was still eating the same calories, just different foods. Then I stopped losing and settled into a weight that was fine. But then for some reason, some months after that, I lost another 4-5 lbs. and hadn't changed the way I ate at all. All through this time, I've had my annual physical with lab work and all my numbers look good so my doctor told me to keep on doing what I was doing. I've maintained that low weight for about 4 years, not yo-yo'ing up or down. I wasn't trying to lose or gain. I just kept tracking and being mindful of what I ate. Without doing that, I overeat and gain. I don't think daily tracking just for the sake of eating healthy is a bad thing. It is not just for those losing weight. Once you learn a good way to eat that works for you, why would you change it?

 

DH lost a lot of weight with me and I think he's gained lots of back. He won't even tell me how much he weighs. He says my face looks thin but didn't seem too concerned with my actual overall weight until he was in the bathroom when I was weighing and he saw how much I weighed. The number startled him. But think about it. If he wasn't concerned with how I looked, what difference does the actual number mean? If he had never seen that scale, he wouldn't have said anything to me. Of course I value and trust his opinion. I don't want to be underweight as I know that's not healthy. I even gained a few pounds purposefully to bring myself up from the bottom.

 

I imagine there are different charts for healthy weight ranges. The one I quoted was given to me by Weight Watchers. The one I found just now from the National Institute of Health says the normal range for my height is 121-153. Another calculator says 118-159. The one I learned was 128-160. Those are fairly different, so who's to say which one is right? You know? Regardless, I'm within those ranges. Sure it's the low end, but it's IN the range.

 

I don't know. I don't want to be hyperfocused on one number, or thereabouts. I was happy with my weight until my mom and DH mentioned to me I should gain some.  I'm thinking, even if I did gain another 5 lbs., I'd just transfer my focus on that new number. I'd still eat the way I eat to maintain it because I wouldn't want to gain more.

 

As for exercise, I try. I hate it. The best I ever did was joining TaeKwonDo. It was one of those places that test everyone regularly so I became a black belt. I was working out 2-3 times a week. I don't remember what I weighed because I wasn't concerned about my weight back then. I know I wasn't near as heavy as I was years later when I joined Weight Watchers. But there is no way I'd go back to TKD myself. I have zero interest in joining such an exercise program again. Part of my problem is I don't like to sweat. It's so uncomfortable, hot, stinky and wet! Yuck! The walking I'm doing now is good enough. DH and I looked up target heart rates for exercising for me and I fit in with moderate cardio workout for cardio health. I don't need to do a fat burning level of cardio. I just need to get my heart elevated for a while each day. So that's my present goal. Let's see if I can stick with it for more than a month. As for weight training, I liked the machines I used at the YMCA gym but I don't want to join a gym again. I don't like going by myself and DH isn't in the mood to exercise at night when he gets home from work. I used to own hand weights but I don't know where they are. I'll look for them. I can see me holding them as I walk. That wouldn't be a hardship I don't think.

 

I appreciate all of you helping me think this through. I'm going to talk to DH again and get him to pinpoint exactly what about my weight concerns him. I'm curious now.

[Barb_]

You sound completely healthy to me. Maintaining weight isn't easy; it takes vigilance, and vigilance doesn't by necessity translate to obsession.

 

I have to take issue with that 2000 calorie number because it doesn't make sense. Who is this mythical average woman? I startrd MyFitnessPal last year when I decided to take off a stray 10lbs that had crept up on me. I tied it to my Fitbit so the calorie count was automatically adjusted up or down based on my activity level. I'm 5-4 and hovering around 117lbs. My body fat is low and my muscle mass is high for my age so my basal metabolic rate is (I think) about 1250 calories according to the gym printout, which I've found to be about right. Night Elf, yours is probably lower because of reduced muscle mass. Because I'm more active I eat between 1400 and 1800 calories most days. On days when I'm exceptionally active I will feel hungrier and eat closer to 2000 calories, but there is NO WAY I could eat 2000 calories every day and not gain a ton of weight. Looking back at the averages for the past year, I default naturally to around 1650 calories and a somewhat higher than average activity level for an almost-48yo.

Edited February 5, 2017 by Barb_

[wintermom]

Swimming is great, because you don't notice the sweat. ;)  It's also very gentle on joints.

 

 

[kiana]

2000 is too high for a lot of women, especially sedentary and older women. 

 

If your husband didn't say anything until he saw the number on the scale, that's probably not a worry. You didn't have the numbers in your original post but I really don't find them that concerning. I think the chart you were given was based off BMI 20-25, but currently underweight starts at 18.5. 

[Pawz4me]

I honestly do not understand the idea that 2000 calories is for maintaining weight. When I eat that, and I do occasionally when I have a day like I did yesterday, I gain at least 1.5 lbs. overnight! If I ate like that every night I'd gain all 55 lbs. back and then some!

 

2000 calories a day is an average. Few of us are exactly average.

 

The "weight" you seem to think you're gaining from one higher calorie day is water weight. You go back to eating normally and it disappears in a day or three, right?

 

It is very, very normal and expected for weight to fluctuate. I weigh daily and record it using the Happy Scale app. In the past week my weight has fluctuated between 110.2 and 112.6. I had not "lost" at the lower number or "gained" at the higher number. It's just normal fluctuation. It's much healthier if you can think of your weight as a range instead of one set number.

Edited February 5, 2017 by Pawz4me