A new venting thread

[creekland]

Do you ever wish you just knew more about something?

 

Going back to my mom's problems, she's continuing to experience both shortness of breath (but Oxygen levels test ok) and lightheadedness when standing up.  All was re-checked and is now fine with her heart, so it's something else.

 

She's on 21(!!!) different meds.  My suspicion naturally leads there, but I have no clue how to actually check into all of that.  Obviously, some are definitely needed (like the insulin for her diabetes), but 21 different meds?  (sigh)  And yes, of course her Dr knows about all of them, so is ok with it.  She'll be asking about it all (again) during her next visit (not yet scheduled).

 

I really, really need middle son to get into, and out of, med school, but by then, who knows what will be up with my mom.  (sigh)

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Waaaaaaaaah...I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

 

How do you combat idiocy? DGD's father has another new girlfriend and he took DGD over to her place this weekend to play house. DGD was able to tell us all about the 'activities' of the new couple. They told DGD to keep it a secret or she wouldn't get anything for Christmas. 

 

Are you kidding me? Asking a young child to lie to her parent and then threatening her if she spills the beans?!  She did let it slip and then was in tears. Last night, I had two people to console (DD & DGD) but I really don't know what to do or say.

 

[Lady Florida.]

I don't think I've ever joined a venting thread but there's a first time for everything.

 

Why do expensive repairs always come up right before Christmas??? In the past we had a subterranean leak on Christmas Eve, vet bills for a pet in December, and the ever present car repairs.

 

This year it was the power steering in our van. Cost for part and labor - $498. Ugh.

[Lori D.]

She's on 21(!!!) different meds.  My suspicion naturally leads there, but I have no clue how to actually check into all of that.  Obviously, some are definitely needed (like the insulin for her diabetes), but 21 different meds?  (sigh)  And yes, of course her Dr knows about all of them, so is ok with it.  She'll be asking about it all (again) during her next visit (not yet scheduled)...

 

Ug. DH is retired fire dept. and paramedic. He says that it's a guarantee that after 3-4 meds you DO get adverse interactions between the different meds -- 21 meds is going off the rails in so many directions that the body is just going to go nuts.

 

Medics see a lot that doctors don't. :(

[Carol in Cal.]

Why do property taxes have to be due two weeks before Christmas?  Really, it's the worst possible time, except maybe two weeks AFTER Christmas.

[itsheresomewhere]

Petty vent here-  My kids have asked for very few things this year.  Why is it they are the sold out things?  

 

 

[MomtoCandJ]

Gah just as we think we have things straightened out and are able to get stuff for the girls for Christmas, something goes wrong. The transmission/drivetrain is having issues on dh's truck. Lord only knows how much that will be and with our luck use all the money we saved for the girls' Christmas gifts :( I'm currently waiting for the tow truck to come pick it up and take it to the shop.

[Cecropia]

I found out by accident yesterday that Dh bought a very expensive game-room item.  He is not the kind of guy who makes huge, frivolous purchases on a whim/in secret...  Not knowing if it was a legitimate purchase or some kind of scam, I lightly asked him about it and he gave me a look and said, "It's for the family. Forget about it."  Now this is a game I loved as a child, but nobody else in the family particularly likes playing it.  When my kids are at a relative's house with this game, they don't play it very much.  Would you believe this relative offered us theirs when we moved, but we said no because it couldn't fit into the moving van?  So we could have theirs if we want one! 

 

All I can think is that he bought it thinking of me.  I hinted that he should cancel the order but he didn't; it's arriving at the end of the week.

 

I am just sick about this because it has to be the most expensive gift he's ever bought, and it's something no one will use much, and I won't use it either mostly because I'll just see dollar signs when I look at it (plus someone would have to play it with me, plus I have a baby on me 90% of the time and will continue for many months!).  I don't care about its beautiful wood or the fine craftsmanship.  We are mainly living on one income and did not have a good financial year.  There was the birth, and many thousands were sunk on a lemon of a car that had to be donated in the end.  We have spent so much on Christmas already, most of it on the obligatory gift-cards-to-distant-relatives.  We still don't have a vehicle that will fit everyone, and we have to replace our furnace and a/c very soon.  Our savings cushion is meager compared to many.  I have always been a deal-chaser and a saver, not a spender (especially not on myself).  In the past few weeks, I've even been trying to bring up that we should consider selling the house and downsize to be able to save more.

 

The last time he made a big money purchase, it was solely on himself and he came to me first and asked for my blessing before he bought it.  I'm more than happy to let him spend on himself, but it was very nice that he wanted my opinion first!

 

I'm so worried that he's going to expect me to be happy about this item.  I'm a terrible actress, wear my heart on my sleeve.  I'm worried that the kids won't use it.  How will he react if they damage it?  I'm worried that it won't resell for even a quarter of what he paid when he figures out that it's just sitting there.  Everyone's feelings are going to get hurt.  I couldn't sleep last night!  The worst part is that we've been married 15 years and we have always been close, and I hate that feeling of "If you don't know me by now" that this gives me.

 

All I can do is buckle down and try to reign in my own spending a lot more over the next year to make up for this.

[MomtoCandJ]

Rear differential was shredded on dh's truck..... like nothing left of the gears and what not. Guys at the shop is trying to find a good used one but if not then I found one on rockauto.com that dh told them to order. They also said it most likely did that because the person who dh bought the truck from didn't drive it much and the oil essentially evaporated out and no one noticed.

[mommyoffive]

Why do property taxes have to be due two weeks before Christmas?  Really, it's the worst possible time, except maybe two weeks AFTER Christmas.

 

I agree with you on that.

[happi duck]

Ugh.

 

I had to send an email to a group to say "hey, I noticed a scheduling conflict so let's be sure to let people know that z will happen not x, as usual."

 

The head person responded to everyone but addressed to me "z is very important and can't be changed or moved."

 

Um. I know that but people will arrive at a different time expecting x that normally happens on that day and we should tell them to come early for z.

 

I never suggested moving anything.

 

Now I feel stupid because I was bawled out.

 

I think I'm going to give up volunteering completely.

[Lady Florida.]

Why do property taxes have to be due two weeks before Christmas?  Really, it's the worst possible time, except maybe two weeks AFTER Christmas.

 

Ugh. I agree. Ours are due in November. Not a great time but better than just before (or just after ) Christmas.

[ebrindam]

Honestly, I'd have said, "wow, that stinks, DS! Moral of the story, don't bury your toys and forget where they are!" and he wouldn't get a new one before the next gift holiday, at the soonest.

 

For a 3 year old who just had surgery? I'd drive to get him a new one too!

[Guest]

Well that's frustrating.

 

I keep waking up too damn early. Like ridiculously early. I don't know why or what I can do about it.

I get it... 4am for me today. Yippee.

 

My vent - when you offer to do things for people, they do the "oh no, I will do it" and I take it off my list. Then, they decide they really can't do it, and I now have to squeeze it back into the schedule.

 

And this is probably why I am waking up at 4am :D

[Guest]

Do you ever wish you just knew more about something?

 

Going back to my mom's problems, she's continuing to experience both shortness of breath (but Oxygen levels test ok) and lightheadedness when standing up. All was re-checked and is now fine with her heart, so it's something else.

 

She's on 21(!!!) different meds. My suspicion naturally leads there, but I have no clue how to actually check into all of that. Obviously, some are definitely needed (like the insulin for her diabetes), but 21 different meds? (sigh) And yes, of course her Dr knows about all of them, so is ok with it. She'll be asking about it all (again) during her next visit (not yet scheduled).

 

I really, really need middle son to get into, and out of, med school, but by then, who knows what will be up with my mom. (sigh)

We had the same problem. I had to basically google the crap out of everything and then go in with that info and talk to a pharmacist and THEN go back to the dr. She is now down to about 5 and some supplements. I am surprised they don't rattle around when they walk :lol:

[creekland]

Sometimes I envy those of you who can sleep past 5am.  Other times I'm thankful for my quite morning time to myself (and the cat, of course).

 

Just don't ask me to think or make decisions past 9pm.  :glare:   Others in my family seem to think that's an ideal time to start pondering and planning.  I always wonder if I should get them up at 5am (or earlier) to do the same.  :lol:

[creekland]

We had the same problem. I had to basically google the crap out of everything and then go in with that info and talk to a pharmacist and THEN go back to the dr. She is now down to about 5 and some supplements. I am surprised they don't rattle around when they walk :lol:

 

I'm not sure how many my mom is at now.  Her official diagnosis is adenocarcinoma (esophagus).  She'll soon be taking some very nasty ones as chemo and radiation are looming (prior to surgery for this type of cancer).  I don't know it that falls into venting territory or not.  I just know I'm super bummed and wish karma really existed as then she wouldn't have to deal with this.

[JustEm]

I'm roughly 37 weeks pregnant and my body aches so much! From my lower back down it feels like I was hit by a truck. I can barely walk and I have so much to do in the next 2 week. It has never been this bad before. I'm not sure I can handle this through the rest of the holiday season.

[creekland]

Actually, I do have a real vent.  A power outage while we were gone took out our UV light on our water system... something I found out by getting a feminine infection (sigh).  I hope the OTC stuff works.  Hubby has a new part ordered.  I wonder how quickly it can get here.  It's exactly what we were hoping to get for Christmas as our joint gift.   :glare:

[creekland]

I'm roughly 37 weeks pregnant and my body aches so much! From my lower back down it feels like I was hit by a truck. I can barely walk and I have so much to do in the next 2 week. It has never been this bad before. I'm not sure I can handle this through the rest of the holiday season.

 

Are you hoping for a Christmas baby?  Or the first of 2017?   :party:

 

Otherwise, sorry for how you feel physically right now...

[mommyoffive]

I'm roughly 37 weeks pregnant and my body aches so much! From my lower back down it feels like I was hit by a truck. I can barely walk and I have so much to do in the next 2 week. It has never been this bad before. I'm not sure I can handle this through the rest of the holiday season.

 

Sending some hugs

 

Those last few weeks are so hard.

 

Maybe the baby will come early?

 

Can you get a massage? 

 

Can you have other people do the stuff you need to get done?  

[Mrs.Wilson]

For the first time in 12 years (37 years for my husband) we won't be spending Christmas with my in-laws.  My husband has been kind of in denial and holding out hope when it's just not possible for us to to travel from MO to CA due to finances, he has to work, and we have a farm.  I know that he already doesn't like Christmas, but this year he's more moody than normal.

 

Now for a petty whine... Due to everything above my husband hasn't gotten me anything for Christmas.  He said he doesn't know what to get me so I gave him a detailed list.  He wasn't happy with that list, "because those are things that are needed, not wanted".  So, I gave him a detailed list of things I want.  He said he wants to get me things I didn't know I wanted.  I hate that.  If I don't know I want it then it's pretty obvious I don't want it.  I would honestly be happy if he just didn't get me anything.

[Professormom]

I'm not sure how many my mom is at now.  Her official diagnosis is adenocarcinoma (esophagus).  She'll soon be taking some very nasty ones as chemo and radiation are looming (prior to surgery for this type of cancer).  I don't know it that falls into venting territory or not.  I just know I'm super bummed and wish karma really existed as then she wouldn't have to deal with this.

 

 

((Creekland))

 

The meds can be ridiculous.

 

(Sidebar: I do not know why tapatalk has a different account for me and keeps logging me in on its own. There can only be one Prof Mom, lol.)

[East Coast Sue]

My mom died two months ago. My dad has been calling me everyday and asks me to help him with lots of things. I'm glad to help and I drive to see him once or twice a week but some of his behaviors are irritating me beyond belief. Trust me it's really, really bad. It makes me subconsciously want to pick up the phone to call my mom because she would totally understand. Then, I'm so sad and I cry because I miss her and I'm stuck with my dad. (Go easy on me. I love him and I am patient but it just about drives me crazy.) I have no one IRL to share this with, so there it's off my chest know. Whew!

[creekland]

My mom died two months ago. My dad has been calling me everyday and asks me to help him with lots of things. I'm glad to help and I drive to see him once or twice a week but some of his behaviors are irritating me beyond belief. Trust me it's really, really bad. It makes me subconsciously want to pick up the phone to call my mom because she would totally understand. Then, I'm so sad and I cry because I miss her and I'm stuck with my dad. (Go easy on me. I love him and I am patient but it just about drives me crazy.) I have no one IRL to share this with, so there it's off my chest know. Whew!

 

This is just a venting thread, but I had to offer some  :grouphug: anyway.  Take care.

[JustEm]

Are you hoping for a Christmas baby? Or the first of 2017? :party:

 

Otherwise, sorry for how you feel physically right now...

I'm hoping for a baby between the 20th and the 26th. Mainly because my oldest's be day is the 19th and I prefer they don't share a bday and dh always has the week between Christmas and the first off and paid. My csection is scheduled for the 2nd and dh only gets a week off paid so it is going to be hard. If baby comes at the beginning of his Christmas break then it's 2 weeks paid of me recovering. If not then we have to decide if we can afford for him to take an unpaid week off so I have more time to recover. I don't think we can afford it. But we'll see.

 

Dh has been massaging me nightly so the pain would probably be worse if he didn't. I am thankful for that!

[JustEm]

Sending some hugs

 

Those last few weeks are so hard.

 

Maybe the baby will come early?

 

Can you get a massage?

 

Can you have other people do the stuff you need to get done?

Hugs are appreciated. If this baby comes early I will be so happy but we at least have a set end date which is the 2nd. I have a friend who I have to call but she'll be able to massage all the aches put of me. She is magical!

 

Unfortunately, most if the things I have to get done are things I need to do. Only other person who could do them is dh but he's working extra to prepare his staff with being without him when the baby comes.

[LisaKinVA]

A non-fundraising related vent.

 

My sole Christmas present this year was from my mother...unless you count the one other gift I purchased myself.

 

I don't subscribe to the whole, "I didn't know what to get you" mantra.

 

I had probably 50 different things that I've put into the Amazon cart this year (which were then put into the "save for later."

 

Now, I can and have purchased stuff for dh -- not so much "fun" stuff -- mostly because he purchases all of that for himself all year long. So, mostly t-shirts, Christmas Jammies, and other clothes.  

 

Adding to my whine.  I had my LAST (6th) oral surgery this week.  It makes eating rather difficult -- my jaw/gums are still sore and tender, everything has to be in teeny-tiny bites (unless it's really soft -- like baby-size bites).  Bright spot:  Coming early 2017 -- replacing my 5 missing teeth after 17 years (no, these are not "fine to do without them, teeth -- 2 eye teeth, 2 1-year molars and 1 2-year molar -- all on my upper jaw).  I can't help but wonder what it will be like to chew with a full set!  

 

Venting over...

[school17777]

A non-fundraising related vent.

 

My sole Christmas present this year was from my mother...unless you count the one other gift I purchased myself.

 

I don't subscribe to the whole, "I didn't know what to get you" mantra.

 

I had probably 50 different things that I've put into the Amazon cart this year (which were then put into the "save for later."

 

 

 

Venting over...

 

So sorry. ((((Hugs)))). That stinks.

[mommyoffive]

Do we need a new one for a new year? 

 

Argh.

 

Small but still just makes me mad.  Dh has messed up two online purchases.  Buying things after the deal was over.  In the last day it has cost me $15 bucks.   And then probably another $40 bucks by not doing something the way I told him to.  Small  I know, but it all adds up.  Plus he cost me some money for fines at the library this weekend too. 

 

Now adding it all up it makes me even more made.  $70 or so bucks just for not listening to me.  

[creekland]

Do we need a new one for a new year?   

 

Not sure.  I think this one can still suffice, but if you (or anyone) would rather start a 2017 version, there's certainly enough going on in my life to add to it.  I put it in my "Wishful Thinking" thread:

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/633566-jan-1st-and-already-wishful-thinking-sigh/

 

but could have easily added it here if I'd been thinking clearly.  Annoying problem - no clear answer of what to do due to its complexity given the whole story.

 

There will be some good points in it (eg middle son graduates from college), but overall, 2017 is likely to be a not-so-good year for my family.  OTOH, I am trying to get my mom to start sorting through her bucket list.  If she agrees, perhaps it can be one last good year of memories prior to a crappy end.  I told her if she dies with a penny in the bank, she'll have been successful.  She earned/saved her money.  Use it!  I'd rather have the happy memories than any inheritance.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Bump

 

[creekland]

No offense - really - but can this thread be closed and another one started?  With my mom getting super bad news, it just brings up bad memories now and isn't just a vent...

[creekland]

Just gotta update...

 

My mom got the best news she could have gotten today after her PET SCAN!   :hurray:

 

All of her tumors are either gone or significantly reduced (only a couple are still there at all).  For the first time, her doctor has told her it looks like she could beat the odds and be one of the 18% living past a year.  Before today both cancer docs gave her no chance of living until this Christmas - there were too many tumors in all the wrong places (esophageal main cancer that spread to liver and lymph). 

 

She still needs another endoscopy to check on her main tumor, but it was so good to hear her feeling upbeat.  I haven't heard that tone of voice in months.

 

:party:

[Heatherwith4]

I'm so glad to hear your Mom got a good report!

[Diane in CO]

Wonderful news Creekland! Hope the second brings good news as well!!!

[Selkie]

That is wonderful! 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:hurray:

[creekland]

Just to add a vent... it does bug me that the doctors (2) told my mom she wouldn't be around for this Christmas and to make sure she had her affairs in order.  That "news" alone depressed her so much over the past few months.  It very well could, of course, be true - even now.  Just one week ago today she was getting 3 pints of blood due to losing too much internally and they were talking in grave tones about going back to the "lead" hospital (for her) which is 2 1/2 hours away from where she lives.  Fortunately, the bleeding stopped last weekend, but that's part of what the upcoming endoscope is for - checking that tumor to see what's up.

 

BUT, the depression it caused with such a "definite" statement can't really be conveyed in words.  If sad thoughts could kill, my mom wouldn't be here today.  Yesterday was the first day since then I've seen her truly hopeful and happy - with just the statement that she might, indeed, beat the odds - which were actually about 4%, not 18%, because I forgot to add in the other cancers earlier.  (The liver one was worse.)  Still, four out of one hundred people DO make it beyond a year.  My mom never smoked and didn't drink heavily.  The vast, vast majority with her cancer DID.  I always wondered if that could help her out and tried to encourage her to think it might, but to no avail since "I'm not a doctor and they know more than you do."

 

Middle son and I have discussed this a bit (along with other members of our family, of course, but he's the one heading into the medical field).  My vent is wishing doctors didn't state horrid things so "definitely."  They could easily have worded it more along the lines of "It's not a great situation and everyone should have their affairs in order because even things like car accidents happen, but cancer treatments have come a long way and bodies can sometimes surprise us.  You don't smoke/drink so I think you have a chance of beating the odds."  We think that little bit could have made her past few months better mentally.

 

It's just so nice seeing her have hope - words can't adequately convey.  We will eventually still lose her (esp since no one lives forever), but the difference between hope and defeat is day and night even if she passes away next week.

[J-rap]

That is wonderful news Creekland!  And I agree -- a little hope can make all the difference in the world.

[Pink and Green Mom]

Resurrecting this.

 

SO my son.  He has started driving so he drives himself to baseball practice.  As a result I am not there.  And I rely on him for communication.  In hindsight this is the worst decision ever.

 

So he doesn't know if he is on the roster for the game tonight.  Which is at 6, and over an hour away.  Not sure if he is supposed to be at practice at 3 or game at 6.  Both are conveniently located at opposite ends of the county. 

And then he hands me his white (!!!) baseball pants to wash.  At 1:45.   Which he needs in either an hour or in 3 hours.

 

They have more mud/dirt/or is that mold on them then white.  He is shocked, SHOCKED that they will not be ready at 3 or at 6.   And all his compression shorts are in the wash now too and will not be out of the washer let alone the dryer before practice, if that is where he is supposed to be.  Except we don't know where he is supposed to be. 

 

Ugh this child. 

[creekland]

My mom's endoscope showed that tumor has also decreased in size either a third smaller or 1/3rd of what it used to be - didn't quite catch which.   :hurray:

 

BUT... she asked her doctor if this meant it could go away and he told her no.  This cancer is terminal.  All it means is you have a little more time, but the end result will still be the same.  :cursing:

 

That is quite possibly true, of course, but now all hope/joy she had is gone.   :mad: She had a brief bit of feeling happy and now he's taken that away from her. Thanks.   :banghead:

 

I guess I understand not lying, but there has to be a better way of saying things - even saying "one never really knows" could have left her with some hope.  Or maybe they feel the need to see that this cancer stays terminal by eliminating any mental chance of giving the body a boost.  (I know that last statement isn't true, but I'm not exactly in a good mood right now - and I should be with her latest two test results.  It's just not good hearing her lose hope again.  She was genuinely happy and hopeful after her PET scan.  That's gone now.  $#%!#&!!!)

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Selkie]

Aww, I'm so sorry, creekland. I hope that doctor is wrong.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[East Coast Sue]

I'm so sorry.

My mom had the reverse experience. Her doctor simply would not acknowledge that her illness was quickly progressing to death. He kept insisting that it was the side effect of medication and she'd get better soon. The cancer could be held for a while. My mom deserved the truth but the doctor just wouldn't reveal how bad off she was. She also suffered from extreme depression. I think it would have helped her to prepare for death and to make peace with her loved ones if her doctor could have acknowledged that she was indeed terminally ill. She must have been in great pain but she put on a great front to try to live up to her doctor's expectation. He saw her every week- even just two days before she died- and he insisted that she was going to live at least a few more months (or more?) so he refused to refer her to hospice despite me begging him for help. My mom was so clearly needing hospice. It was awful! I'm really sorry for you and your mom but I hope you'll find that she's able to prepare for her death and not be too scared to share her fears and emotions with you. If only I could have had that with my mom....

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited July 1, 2017 by Sue in TX

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Oh, Creekland, I am so sorry that your mom and the rest of your family is still hurting.

 

---

 

My little vent is minor compared to what you are going through.

 

My sister is earning her BA at the age of 50. I want to be happy for her, I really do. But I can't be. She has always treated my with contempt when it came to my education. She ruined my college graduation. My family, in general, has never been supportive of my desire for higher education and the ill will and hurt feelings over things that have and haven't been said run deep.

 

Well, my sister is throwing a huge theme party for her graduation. It will be a catered affair at a fancy venue. I want to want to go but all I can think about are the hurtful things that have been said and done over the years. I'm actually quite happy that her party is the same weekend DS has to be picked up from his school for Christmas break. I cannot be in two places at once.

[DawnM]

Hugs to all of us facing a parent dying (and to those of you who have lost a parent.)  My mother is most likely in her last months at best.  She is housebound and can't even walk through the apartment very well without needing to sit and take a break.  Her heart rate is too high to measure and they can't seem to regulate it with meds.  It has been 4 weeks like this so far.  

 

On a very trivial note:  I hate my haircut even more today and I am in tears.  Add to that I am the fattest I have ever been and I am going to see people I haven't seen in years later this month.  I am at least 30 pounds more than the last time they saw me, and I was quite overweight then.  I can't lose weight to save my life.  Really. I have tried everything and if one more person tries to sell me on their MLM weight loss snake oil I will SCREAM.

 

I feel old, tired, fat, and quite cranky about it all right now.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Dawn - sending you big hugs about the hair and weight. I understand completely. It seems like the harder I try to lose weight the more I gain. I've varied the amount of cals I eat (going down to less than a 1000 a day), increasing my exercise (50,000 + steps a day), weightlifting, shakes, wraps, you name it. I'm also at my heaviest weight. My blood work is normal. why, oh why, can't I lose any weight? 

[creekland]

I'm so sorry.

My mom had the reverse experience. Her doctor simply would not acknowledge that her illness was quickly progressing to death. He kept insisting that it was the side effect of medication and she'd get better soon. 

 

Yeah, there really needs to be some sort of medium - or in general - someone who can "see" the big picture who can give doctors an idea about what to say.  Yours makes as little sense as my mom's.  

 

My mom is as healthy as she's been in years - diabetes is gone, blood pressure is normal, she's feeling quite well aside from the bad chemo days which are now in her past.  She's up, exercising, and was feeling good - all tumors were either gone or significantly smaller - and rather than telling her she has a chance to be among the 4% who DO make it beyond a year (or 5 years - whichever it was) - he decides to remind her that it's terminal and only a matter of time - totally killing all of her hope and putting her back into tears whenever anything "good" is happening because she "knows" it will be the last time for "whatever."  Four out of a hundred DO make it.  She's doing very well compared to what everyone thought would happen by now. She's doing better now than she was prior to them discovering her cancer. Why dash her hope?

 

In a later stage, it makes sense to acknowledge the obvious rather than pretending it's not there.

 

I want to want to go but all I can think about are the hurtful things that have been said and done over the years. I'm actually quite happy that her party is the same weekend DS has to be picked up from his school for Christmas break. I cannot be in two places at once.

 

:grouphug:  and glad you can't be there legitimately.  :grouphug:

 

Hugs to all of us facing a parent dying (and to those of you who have lost a parent.)  My mother is most likely in her last months at best.  She is housebound and can't even walk through the apartment very well without needing to sit and take a break.  Her heart rate is too high to measure and they can't seem to regulate it with meds.  It has been 4 weeks like this so far.  

 

On a very trivial note:  I hate my haircut even more today and I am in tears.  Add to that I am the fattest I have ever been and I am going to see people I haven't seen in years later this month.  I am at least 30 pounds more than the last time they saw me, and I was quite overweight then.  I can't lose weight to save my life.  Really. I have tried everything and if one more person tries to sell me on their MLM weight loss snake oil I will SCREAM.

 

I feel old, tired, fat, and quite cranky about it all right now.

 

:grouphug: for you too.   :grouphug:

[heartlikealion]

I'm sorry creekland. Maybe you can share some stories with her to give her hope. My grandma had cancer a few times. One time she had surgery (breast cancer). The other time(s) it was too dangerous to do surgery because of her age. I know for the skin cancer she applied different things (maybe made dietary adjustments as well) including frankincense. After a while the dr could see no signs of it. They said she had cancer in her jaw which was probably contributing to her having difficulty eating and swallowing for a while. But then they couldn't detect it anymore so I don't know if that means they were wrong initially or if it cleared up.

 

I'm venting because dh refuses to take dd to her early intervention appointment. I got them to shift the appt. later so I don't have to move my dental appointment and I can still take her that day when the evaluation team will be available. I guess I'll be making 2-3 trips to that town that day since the kids also have a follow up appt. with their optometrist. I'd send dh with the kids to the optometrist, but I kinda feel like I should be there.