NVM

[ErinE]

.

Edited February 19, 2018 by ErinE

[Dmmetler]

And if it's not an MLM, it's that she wants you to come to their church. Or both.

 

 

[J-rap]

Every time a woman chats with me at an indoor playground where I take my younger kids, I'm excited to meet someone new. We moved here just a year ago so I don't know many adults, other than DH. Every time, I discover she runs an MLM business.

 

"I have some free samples!!!"

 

No, thank you. If I wanted to, I could have a drawer full.

 

How disappointing -- and a little weird!  I'd soon be wary.  I would feel terrible approaching someone like that, even if I believed in the product!

[solascriptura]

I find it more annoying when a friend or acquaintance invites me to their MLM "parties." I feel slightly used.

[kewb]

Ugh, I hate meeting someone new only to find out they chatted me up as a potential client for jamberry, young living, doterra, pampered chef, beach body, mlm du juor. It is such a let down.

[ErinE]

. 

 

Edited February 19, 2018 by ErinE

[mommymonster]

Whenever I get chatted up, it's invariably for Classical Conversations. I'd love it if a MLM person chatted me up so that I could at least get a sample!

[JustEm]

I find it more annoying when a friend or acquaintance invites me to their MLM "parties." I feel slightly used.

I don't mind when a friend invites me the first time. I like to choose my response carefully so I can politely decline in a way that makes it clear the product is nothing I'm interested in. But multiple invites get me distancing myself from them a bit.

[Sarah CB]

My very first time having people I didn't know over for dinner as an adult ended up being MLM. It was someone dh had met through work and I cooked my butt off wanting to impress them. I couldn't believe it when they started pitching Amway.

[Guest]

If it comes to meeting new people and they're talking about products, have you just said "hey! I'm not really interested in anything like that but I wouldn't mind getting to know *you* better - let's talk more!"? It's not like a housewife is some sort of callous user just because they have a business with a social model. They may actually still be amazing friend material.

 

I've met lots of gals who have businesses, and I even have one myself, but few of us actually shop or feel obligated to shop with friends at all. Saying no thanks and continuing the conversations hasn't been a barrier in the slightest, but it does require not taking the business approach as some personal slight and continuing on beyond it. With many ladies I'd say it's well worth the effort, but maybe I'm just biased.

 

A small note down the road letting them know that it's actually bad form to break into commercial mode in a casual conversation might not be amiss either. Some people, even super nice ones, can be a little tone deaf in that and might not know they're actually offending people they're trying to befriend by including their business in it and making the entire encounter seem disingenuous when it probably isn't at all.

 

Just some thoughts :)

[TravelingChris]

A friend of mine (out of state) does MLM.  She posts a number of things related to the MLM or kind of in support of the MLM (Other news that might want to make you buy her MLM).  I just ignore.  And I ignore her anti-vaccine rants too.  But then I never post things like I got a flu vaccine today and I have been getting one for over thirty years and never any flu.  But then I am usually posting non controversial posts.  

 

Actually I think another friend (again out of state) is also a MLM salesperson but of some other product.  She doesn't post about it hardly ever. I like that.   Oh and I actually remember that I have a third friend who sells either Mary Kay or Avon but never, never posts about it.  People contact her to get products from her directly if they want them.

[meena]

If it comes to meeting new people and they're talking about products, have you just said "hey! I'm not really interested in anything like that but I wouldn't mind getting to know *you* better - let's talk more!"? It's not like a housewife is some sort of callous user just because they have a business with a social model. They may actually still be amazing friend material.

 

I've met lots of gals who have businesses, and I even have one myself, but few of us actually shop or feel obligated to shop with friends at all. Saying no thanks and continuing the conversations hasn't been a barrier in the slightest, but it does require not taking the business approach as some personal slight and continuing on beyond it. With many ladies I'd say it's well worth the effort, but maybe I'm just biased.

 

A small note down the road letting them know that it's actually bad form to break into commercial mode in a casual conversation might not be amiss either. Some people, even super nice ones, can be a little tone deaf in that and might not know they're actually offending people they're trying to befriend by including their business in it and making the entire encounter seem disingenuous when it probably isn't at all.

 

Just some thoughts :)

I've had the experience, multiple times, that once I expressed that I was only interested in being friends and not in buying their product, they would ignore me after that. This recently happened to my DH. A dad at a homeschool event was chatting with my DH, and this dad started talking about this new cool sports/gaming app. My DH loves sports so thought this dad was telling him because they shared an interest. Once we got home DH was telling me about it, and how if he paid $X for this app and then had his friends sign up he could make money. I was like, you know that's an MLM right? And that Homeschool Dad was just trying to get you to sign up under him so he could make money? Sure enough, Homeschool Dad texted my DH probably 10 or more times the next few days but once my DH said nicely that he wasn't interested, Homeschool Dad hasn't contacted DH even once since then even though they seemed to get along well and have similar interests.

 

The "business with a social model" exists to turn relationships into marketing opportunities, which I personally think is no bueno. Life is too short and too busy to try to figure out who is using me as their warm market and who genuinely has friendship on their mind.

[PrairieSong]

I've had several relationships cool after I showed no interest in their MLM business. Once a friend whom I hadn't seen for a few years called me out of the blue. I was so happy to hear from her but then came the pitch. She and her husband wanted to come talk to us about a "business opportunity". Amway, I think, though she wouldn't say. I declined and never heard from her again. She even stopped sending me Christmas cards.

 

OP, I hope you will meet some friends who have nothing to sell you!

[ErinE]

. 

 

Edited February 19, 2018 by ErinE

[ErinE]

.

Edited February 19, 2018 by ErinE

[FaithManor]

I have had this problem too. MLM just seems to brainwash people or something causing them to be so very pushy.

 

I keep my circle small. I had to cut out my sister in law for a while because she was pushing Lia Sophia jewelry, then it was Arbonne, then it was Young Living. Sigh....but after years of keeping my distance and not responding to party invites or buying anything she FINALLY took the hint and stopped trying to hard sell to me. It is extra frustrating when it is a relative who lives close by, and whom you would normally spend time with if it weren't for the MLM.

 

I have managed by virtue of totally ignoring all attempts to sell me anything to fall off the invite lists of the local MLM things. So when we attended my parents' church and the inevitable invites went around, I did not get them. YAY FOR ME!

 

 

[Guest]

I'm sorry you guys are meeting so many rude people. If they really don't want to talk beyond business they're not worth your time and energy. Having a business and even marketing isn't an automatic issue but if someone makes it so that ceases to be worth your time. I hope you can find some solid local friends :grouphug:

[meena]

It's just interesting that those people who have "normal" jobs can talk about their livelihood without trying to push it on anyone, while the MLM folks are always the ones who happen to be rude and pushy (editing to add: or even not be outwardly rude, but rather feign interest when really all they're interested in is a sale or a new recruit).

 

For instance, the same night that Homeschool Dad tried to get my DH in his app downline, another dad talked to DH and I about his job as a chemist. Not once did he try to sell us anything or tell me how I could make my life or homeschool better through his job. Instead, we just had a great conversation about learning and capturing kids' interests.

Edited September 14, 2016 by meena

[Guest]

To be fair, it is a marketing position and the market is broad. A chemist isn't a marketer, nor are most people they'd meet a target market even if they are doing marketing of a chemical or process. Believe me that industry folks talking to their target industry, even casually, work it in and can be quite forthright. We deal with that in pharmacy and engineering, as well as nursing, and these aren't anomalies.

 

It isn't some inherent flaw in direct marketing so much as the fact that there are many potential customers and business partners in the general population and any direct marketing or sales position worth its salt involves training on maximizing that. The difference comes in understanding who is and isn't interested and respecting that. Engagin someone for the sole purpose of business is all well and good, but don't pretend it is friendship or cameraderie and then hoodwink people. And if you're asking friends to take a look at what you love and represent, accept that they just might not love it like you do. The boundary issues come in when someone sees people as a commodity to be acquired instead of as individuals and doesn't respect the 'no'.

 

This isn't exclusive to direct sales and marketing, but I think the temptation and potential for abuse of networking is higher and the respectful, honest interactions are even MORE important precisely because of the pitfalls. You can argue about the validity of the business model elsewhere but rudeness is never a given, especially for a professional.

[maize]

Huh.

 

I chat with people because I like to chat with people. Especially while waiting during children's activities.

 

I do notice that others are often wary of striking up a conversation. Maybe this is part of the reason why. Not something I've encountered more than occasionally though.

[Dad 4 Boys]

Many years ago, before I became a Christian, my wife (Chelle in MO) and I were at a mall shopping when this normal looking couple came up to us and started chatting with us out of the blue.  I don't remember all the details, but after they left, Chelle asked me, "What do you think that was about?"  I responded, "Religion or multilevel marketing"  I don't remember if we traded any contact information with them or not, but we never heard from them or saw them again that I know of.

[lllll]

nm

Edited November 5, 2016 by cathey

[teachermom2834]

I've had the experience, multiple times, that once I expressed that I was only interested in being friends and not in buying their product, they would ignore me after that. This recently happened to my DH. A dad at a homeschool event was chatting with my DH, and this dad started talking about this new cool sports/gaming app. My DH loves sports so thought this dad was telling him because they shared an interest. Once we got home DH was telling me about it, and how if he paid $X for this app and then had his friends sign up he could make money. I was like, you know that's an MLM right? And that Homeschool Dad was just trying to get you to sign up under him so he could make money? Sure enough, Homeschool Dad texted my DH probably 10 or more times the next few days but once my DH said nicely that he wasn't interested, Homeschool Dad hasn't contacted DH even once since then even though they seemed to get along well and have similar interests.

 

 

We've had this one too- with the sports/gaming app.  I think it is great that the homeschool dads get to deal with the MLM folks too.  

[Mergath]

I've had the experience, multiple times, that once I expressed that I was only interested in being friends and not in buying their product, they would ignore me after that. This recently happened to my DH. A dad at a homeschool event was chatting with my DH, and this dad started talking about this new cool sports/gaming app. My DH loves sports so thought this dad was telling him because they shared an interest. Once we got home DH was telling me about it, and how if he paid $X for this app and then had his friends sign up he could make money. I was like, you know that's an MLM right? And that Homeschool Dad was just trying to get you to sign up under him so he could make money? Sure enough, Homeschool Dad texted my DH probably 10 or more times the next few days but once my DH said nicely that he wasn't interested, Homeschool Dad hasn't contacted DH even once since then even though they seemed to get along well and have similar interests.

 

The "business with a social model" exists to turn relationships into marketing opportunities, which I personally think is no bueno. Life is too short and too busy to try to figure out who is using me as their warm market and who genuinely has friendship on their mind.

 

:iagree:  I met a woman at a playground who lied about wanting to homeschool just so she could pitch her crap. I gave her my number because she said she wanted to chat so she could learn more about homeschooling. (Her daughter was preschool aged.) Then when she called I got the big Amway speech. When I told her I wasn't interested in buying or selling Amway, she got really pissed and hung up on me. 

 

I had another person message me on FB to tell me that I was so lucky because she'd selected me to buy her fitness supplements. Lol.

 

I have people on my FB (very few, because I've weeded most of them out) who are borderline psychotic about MLM. Dozens of selfies a day with twee quotes about success and long posts about how selling [insert overpriced product here] has changed their lives and improved their marriages and made them amazing parents!!!! Just being FB friends with them is exhausting. Plus I get really tired of all the memes implying that those of us who don't sell junk are scared to be successful or whatever.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I hate stuff like this.  On the one hand I figure well some people need/want to make a few extra bucks.  I get that.  But yeah sometimes I feel like it's kinda sneaky.  Like hey buddy come to my party...you don't have to buy anything just come and hang out.  But then you realize no I'm really not a buddy.  They just want me to buy stuff. 

 

 

[Rachel]

Also, I run a business. Selling my work isn't based on casual social networking and I've never offered to hand out free spreadsheets or give out my business card in case someone needs financial analysis. I consider it weird and awkward to do so in an informal setting with someone I just met. I don't see how selling MLM products is any different.

I sort of agree. My husband has had quite a few free lunches with people hoping he will buy their product, if not now sometime in the future. However, he knows going into it that there will be a pitch. These are not random people at a playground, it's people in a related industry who know someone in common with him. At the very least they know his industry uses a that product.

[gardenmom5]

Agree with both. I'll chat with most anyone so I don't stop talking, but the MLM ladies usually wind things up quickly.

 

I'm not good at hiding my emotions. Maybe I make a "not again" face.

No, it's the "you're not getting my money "face. 😊

[ErinE]

. 

 

Edited February 19, 2018 by ErinE

[SparklyUnicorn]

The original post was just a thought I had as I walked away, vaguely disappointed, from another playground visit that became a MLM pitch.

 

For me, it's like Charlie Brown playing football with Lucy.

 

Cool, you want to talk to me!

 

Oh, you pulled the football away and there's another wrinkle repair, juice cleanse, detox essential oil wrap behind the ball.

 

Yes.  I know that feeling.   : (

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes to the Classical Conversations pressure. Um, honey, I've hsed since before you were BORN, and trust me, I have no use for what you're desperately selling. Since you have paid WAY too much money, you now need a way to pay it off. Well, it won't be through me!

 

I find it incredibly bizarre that this is a product for sale. 

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited November 5, 2016 by cathey

[Guest]

:iagree: I met a woman at a playground who lied about wanting to homeschool just so she could pitch her crap. I gave her my number because she said she wanted to chat so she could learn more about homeschooling. (Her daughter was preschool aged.) Then when she called I got the big Amway speech. When I told her I wasn't interested in buying or selling Amway, she got really pissed and hung up on me.

 

I had another person message me on FB to tell me that I was so lucky because she'd selected me to buy her fitness supplements. Lol.

 

I have people on my FB (very few, because I've weeded most of them out) who are borderline psychotic about MLM. Dozens of selfies a day with twee quotes about success and long posts about how selling [insert overpriced product here] has changed their lives and improved their marriages and made them amazing parents!!!! Just being FB friends with them is exhausting. Plus I get really tired of all the memes implying that those of us who don't sell junk are scared to be successful or whatever.

The lying lady is particular awful! Yikes! It does make me extra glad I'm not on Facebook and don't have people hawking things all over their feeds. The company I market actually has policies against any social media posting with rare exception. I think that's the best policy for that sort of arena.

 

And memes? For real? Ugh.

[38carrots]

Unpleasant. I had an acquitance whom I rather liked contact me on FB (and not just me, but my teenage DD as well) about getting together. We were quite excited, as we had a number of common interests and haven't seen her in a while.) And as we were figuring out where to go out for lunch together, she messaged me about her business. I was honest and told her I wasn't interested, but I still thought that she mentioned her "business" on the premise that she was still interested to get together with us, not the other way around. Then of course she never replied to my messages about getting together. Which left me with a sour taste in my mouth.

 

If she put a bit more effort into this, and actually went out with us(we did have common interests, I'm sure we would have had fun), I might have been at least somewhat interested in her business. I think they quit too early! lol

[Carol in Cal.]

I don't mind being asked because I don't mind saying no.

A lot of the aversion to MLM is from being uncomfortable with that.

But what I hate is dishonesty.

I have no problem listening to someone's pitch, and I don't even mind going to a rather silly party from time to time.  But don't do the bait and switch on me.  Ugh.

[Arcadia]

My BIL's wife has been in MLM since college days. She used to bug us to join their church but doesn't bug us about MLM as I don't like makeup or anti aging cream.

 

I have friends who market Amway and Mary Kay on their Facebook pages but we talk about kids stuff when we chat. So not an issue.

 

I met someone at the park who was trying to sell a babysitter matching service for parents of under 5. She didn't talk to me of course since my kids are older.

Edited September 14, 2016 by Arcadia

[meena]

Oh, Classical Conversations is definitely a product for sale. Like many products, there are folks who find it useful and worthwhile, but I've met WAY too many who are pushy about it. And there are those who regret their decision, but have put so much $$$ into it, that they have to try to recoup some of it. It's a MLM, no doubt. There's the top dog, who has her minions, and those have their minions, on down. I asked the top-ish dog who is over the women here, just what was her level of education, that I would want to PAY her for tutoring my kids. Um, basically a high school education. And from her written materials, it wasn't that great of a high school... I really resent the women who inform new hsers that they simply HAVE to do CC, or their children just aren't going to succeed. Nope, don't need their product!

Where I live CC is advertised as a way for moms and students to be a part of a "community," basically emulating the social structure of a traditional school for homeschoolers. The people who push it most act like you'll never find a solid group of people to bond with, and consequently your attempt to homeschool will most likely fail, if you don't join CC. I have found the opposite to be true, though. By not limiting our time and resources solely to one organization (and if we did CC we wouldn't be able to afford more than that because it's outrageously overpriced), we have been able to be a part of many different learning communities and activities throughout our area.

 

On first glance I wouldn't consider CC an MLM, but it does seem to share similarities with the top tiers of the management structure profiting from the work of the lower tier, the social marketing aspect, the inflated cost in relation to value of product (significant tuition prices for potentially unqualified teachers), the marketing strategy that they are the one great solution to homeschooling well, etc.

[mom2scouts]

This topic made me go check a blocked relative on my FB page. About a year ago, a niece that I rarely see friended me on Facebook. I very quickly realized that about 99% of her posts were about her MLM business or those motivational business memes. Every time she posted about the MLM, she made gushing comments about being able to work anywhere and have more time with your family.  She still makes it sound like this business is allowing her to stay home with her baby and live her dreams. The thing she neglects to mention is that she has a full time job along with the MLM business! It's a product I don't have any interest in buying, so I blocked her.