My turn to let y'all parent my kids...

[madteaparty]

I let my son fly unaccompanied at the earliest he could, but his grandparents are notoriously early (and this was a huge deal to them). Perhaps the question might be, is there a way, just this one time, that one can prevail upon the grandparents to be at airport early? If not, I don't know that I'd trust them at all and my answer to the poll would change to "until my kids are adults and I can't stop them".

Edited December 3, 2015 by madteaparty

[luuknam]

Why is this all on you?  Is your wife not bothered by this? 

 

Her literal words were: "I don't care". So, that's why it's all on me.

 

ETA: she was raised by these people. She flew as an unaccompanied minor at a young age (maybe even younger than the current rules?). I'm in charge of almost all decisions kid-related, even though they're *our* kids. Obviously, she's not going for "mother of the year" award.

Edited December 3, 2015 by luuknam

[8circles]

Her literal words were: "I don't care". So, that's why it's all on me.

 

ETA: she was raised by these people. She flew as an unaccompanied minor at a young age (maybe even younger than the current rules?). I'm in charge of almost all decisions kid-related, even though they're *our* kids. Obviously, she's not going for "mother of the year" award.

Well, that stinks. But, if she really doesn't care, then make the decision you are comfortable with & leave her to not care.

[unsinkable]

Luuknam...did you look for direct flights from other airports? I'm not sure if you saw my other post.

 

ie Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Rochester

[Pen]

Could the grandparents (or just one of them) fly from the closer to them airport to where the kids are and then fly back to that closer airport with the kids. That way the kids would not be unaccompanied, and the grandparents could not be late to pick them up since they would all be together.

[mamiof5]

Didn't read all the posts, but saw some. Someone said until they are old enough and I can't stop them. Totally agree with that. I understand if the grandparents have an emergency and happen to be late! But since that doesn't seem to be the case...forget it, they are not responsible enough to be in time to pick up my children, they are not responsible enough to spend alone time with them, so, for many reasons (not only the flying/pick up ordeal) I wouldn't let them go.

[waa510]

Thinking about my two girls, who have flown a ton between trips to see grands, prior military, coming here, and going on business trips with Dh: No. 

 

The youngest I'd feel comfy traveling alone for my pair (2 yrs apart) would be 9 and 11. (in your case, 9 and 12) I think those ages most kids are able to be level-headed if their ride is late, if prepped first. 

 

Seeing as how the grands will likely be fairly late and the weather potentially dicey, I'd say no to it this time. Another idea is the train though.  FWIW, I've taken the train many times from CT to VA and back again and while looonngg (8 hrs?) it was a very simple and pleasant trip. Is a train ride possible (with you accompanying them)?

[Starr]

I have a young relative that flew as accompanied minor at 13. The plane taxied out and back in again for maintenance. All the passengers were let out but the child had to remain with the flight attendants for several hours. If a kind family had not brought him food when returning he would not have had anything to eat. Things go wrong, planes delayed, rerouted because of this or that, etc. My kids flew alone at 17 and all kinds of crazy happened. I wouldn't send young ones alone.

[Tanaqui]

The flight isn't a problem for me. At that age, I was going over an ocean! But I'd be concerned about the chronically late grandparents. How late are you talking? Would it help if you outright lie and give them the wrong arrival time?

[madteaparty]

I have a young relative that flew as accompanied minor at 13. The plane taxied out and back in again for maintenance. All the passengers were let out but the child had to remain with the flight attendants for several hours. If a kind family had not brought him food when returning he would not have had anything to eat. Things go wrong, planes delayed, rerouted because of this or that, etc. My kids flew alone at 17 and all kinds of crazy happened. I wouldn't send young ones alone.

I haven't sent mine over the ocean alone yet, but i just want to point out that is a very ordinary lifestyle choice for a great number of people. Kids just learn to deal. My DS's elem school friend and his sister have flown alone to France every summer since the youngest he could (7 or 8 I forget). My french exchange student had never been on a plane yet he flew to NY by himself at 10 yrs old. It's just another way to do things, much like the kids taking subway by themselves, taking bus from nyc to visit friends in the countryside 2 hours away, etc.

This is separate from tardiness issue which i addressed in a previous post.

Edited December 3, 2015 by madteaparty

[lovinmyboys]

I have a young relative that flew as accompanied minor at 13. The plane taxied out and back in again for maintenance. All the passengers were let out but the child had to remain with the flight attendants for several hours. If a kind family had not brought him food when returning he would not have had anything to eat. Things go wrong, planes delayed, rerouted because of this or that, etc. My kids flew alone at 17 and all kinds of crazy happened. I wouldn't send young ones alone.

My kids just flew unaccompanied minor this past summer. The rule on their airline was that someone had to stay in the terminal until the plane was in the air. So, if problems occurred before it left I was still there to take care of them.

 

The flight really wouldn't bother me. I just can't imagine not being there to pick the children up. My kids' flight was about 2 hours and I am pretty sure my parents were at the airport around the time I left our airport from putting the kids on the plane.

[mumto2]

Fwiw.....The dc's and I were transferring flights in Detroit last winter with some bad weather and sat near two unaccompanied minors, maybe 7and 10.....they were put together but not together. They were being watched by the gate attendant and other staff kept appearing with updates. There was a problem with their flights but I really doubt they were ever flying directly to their destinations (small regional airports). They were bored and the dc's and I heard way too much about their lives imo for privacy.....the boy happily told us entire his life story with no prompting but otherwise reasonably well cared for. Both were experienced travellers.....children of divorce.

[luuknam]

Another idea is the train though.

 

That would only take 1 day and 11 hours (at the shortest). So, no.

 

Would it help if you outright lie and give them the wrong arrival time?

 

I don't think I'd be able to pull that one off since they're the ones buying the tickets and paying for them. :)

[luuknam]

Luuknam...did you look for direct flights from other airports? I'm not sure if you saw my other post.

 

ie Detroit, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Rochester

 

Thanks, I saw it. I was pretty sure my wife had looked at Rochester already, but I needed to actually look up the others (though Detroit is a 6 hour drive, and winter weather etc - at least 12 hours roundtrip, which would get me 2/3 of the way to Alabama if I were to simply drive south). Anyway, I looked it up, and no, there are no nonstop flights. Nobody flies from around here to Mobile, AL. Atlanta, GA is a hub so is a lot easier.

[Janie Grace]

My sister and I flew transAtlantic at those ages. However, there was NO QUESTION of whether our grandparents would be there to get us.

 

Can you have a frank discussion with grandparents? Be honest that you're really concerned about them BEING THERE? My kids would be traumatized if there wasn't anyone waiting to pick them up. Gosh, with a 5-hour drive, I would ask them to consider driving up to the airport the day before and spending the night in a hotel so that they are local. That way, no accident or traffic snarl can mess things up. In fact, I'm going with that. Yes, but only if grandparents get a hotel room in airport area.

[unsinkable]

Thanks, I saw it. I was pretty sure my wife had looked at Rochester already, but I needed to actually look up the others (though Detroit is a 6 hour drive, and winter weather etc - at least 12 hours roundtrip, which would get me 2/3 of the way to Alabama if I were to simply drive south). Anyway, I looked it up, and no, there are no nonstop flights. Nobody flies from around here to Mobile, AL. Atlanta, GA is a hub so is a lot easier.

That's too bad.

 

Detroit is about 4.5 hours if you go thru Canada, depending on bridge traffic.

[luuknam]

That's too bad.

 

Detroit is about 4.5 hours if you go thru Canada, depending on bridge traffic.

 

Yes, but the kids can't go through Canada (though I should be able to get the paperwork to make that possible), and two border crossings mean that I'd still have to plan at least 6 hours for the drive there because border crossings are unpredictable. Not that it matters, because Detroit doesn't have direct flights either. Thanks for trying though.

[TammyS]

See, the thing is, they might be more likely to show up early for their grandkids flying alone, but I won't know until I try it. I would like to think that they'd be more punctual when dealing with a 5 and an 8yo than with a 20yo, or than with a 6yo one of them was flying themselves with, or with a 4yo and a 7yo that my wife flew with (my wife went to a conference, and had to wait an hour or so at the airport with the kids before her parents showed up to take them). But, who knows? Just because *I* (and any sane adult) would try extra hard to be early when it's a 5yo and an 8yo flying alone, that doesn't mean that I can automatically assume they will too. Or assume that "trying harder" is the same as actually being on time/early. 

 

I mean, odds are that this is a non-issue and that they'd try extra hard to be early and stuff, but I hate that there is no way of knowing other than by putting the kids on the plane.

 

If I didn't feel confident in these people, I wouldn't allow my young kids to be kept with them far away, even if I flew them back and forth myself.  Maybe I'm biased because I grew up being the adult, but people like this make me crazy.  They would have a hard time convincing me to let the kids overnight with them across town.

 

[Tsuga]

I need to know the kids. My own, with the late possibility, hm. Probably 8 and 11. If the picker upper were more reliable, definitely earlier. Like my own mom... Now, at 6 and 9, no problem.

[skimomma]

I have changed my opinion to never in this case.  I have to agree with others that say I would not trust anyone who cannot see the importance of arriving on time to pick up small children from the airport to watch them at all....whether the kids are flying to visit them or not.

[katilac]

Thanks, I saw it. I was pretty sure my wife had looked at Rochester already, but I needed to actually look up the others (though Detroit is a 6 hour drive, and winter weather etc - at least 12 hours roundtrip, which would get me 2/3 of the way to Alabama if I were to simply drive south). Anyway, I looked it up, and no, there are no nonstop flights. Nobody flies from around here to Mobile, AL. Atlanta, GA is a hub so is a lot easier.

 

Did you check flying into New Orleans? It's considerably closer to Mobile than Atlanta, only 2 hours or so. 

[sassenach]

Probably 10 and 13 if the grandparents were completely reliable. I'm thinking of my own kids and their personalities. I'm not sure they THEY would be ok with it at this age. I voted older, because the late pick up thing would really make a difference for me. The first time my eldest flew alone, it was her dad catching her at the other end. She was 14, I think, but it would have been fine a little younger. 

[PeacefulChaos]

I'd say 8 & 11 at the earliest.  That's assuming a mature 11 year old who is familiar with traveling and flying.  My 11 year old would be fine on the maturity end, but he's not flown before.  

 

If both those criteria aren't met, I'd lean more toward 10 & 13.  Something like that.  

[Seasider]

Did you check flying into New Orleans? It's considerably closer to Mobile than Atlanta, only 2 hours or so.

Yes, I would much rather travel between New Orleans and Mobile than Mobile and Atlanta! And the airport in NO is on the eastern edge of town, really one of the first exits off the interstate as you approach the metropolitan area from the east. Be sure to check Southwest Airlines.