Anyone ever put a child in PS to help them socially?

[SarahB82]

My oldest son will be six on June 11 and I am considering putting him in either public or private school to help him socially. I can't go in to a ton of details right now but I was wanting to reach out and see if any of you have done the same thing and what the results were.

[Ellie]

My oldest son will be six on June 11 and I am considering putting him in either public or private school to help him socially. I can't go in to a ton of details right now but I was wanting to reach out and see if any of you have done the same thing and what the results were.

 

In most cases, without more details, I cannot imagine a classroom being of any positive benefit for social skills.

[Sneezyone]

My son attended K at a private school and, thanks to his 30-year veteran teacher (who is truly, truly gifted with kinders), was transformed from a sullen, shy, non-talkative child to a very vocal, opinionated, and sharp-witted satirist. There are teachers who transform lives and I will FOREVER be grateful to Ms. F for DS' turnaround. I have no idea what kind of experience your child might have but some teachers are worth their weight in gold. 

[Farrar]

In most cases, without more details, I cannot imagine a classroom being of any positive benefit for social skills.

 

Especially at the young age of 6 yo.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've given my kids specific social opportunities.  I've worked with my Aspie esp. on social skills.  I did not find the public school necessary in order to do this.  In fact, I would think in many cases that public school would make it more difficult if someone is already having social difficulties because it isn't an easy place to always navigate socially.  I am not against public schools, btw. and have taught in them for many years in the past.  

[Mom22ns]

Ds is autistic spectrum. He was in ps k-5. He had some wonderful teachers and they worked with him, but his social skills really skyrocketed when we started homeschooling. I even had people who barely knew us ask what we did to improve his social skills so much. 

 

If the problem is a lack of social opportunities at home, I suppose a classroom could improve that. If he is struggling with social skills, most often a classroom will just be a sustained torture chamber.

[PamJBA]

PS was not good for my DD socially. She doesn't quite get the complexity of girls her age. She ended up being taken advantage of (unfair trades) and bullied (threats to harm is she didn't sit with our play with a girl who was unkind). She played well with the boys, but that's not socially acceptable in PS at her age. At this point she hasn't had a healthy friendship and doesn't know what that would be like.

 

The kids in a class may not be good friend choices for your individual child. The teachers aren't necessarily able to help the kids develop friendships and you aren't there to facilitate. Kids can get experience with groups elsewhere.

[PeterPan]

My oldest son will be six on June 11 and I am considering putting him in either public or private school to help him socially. I can't go in to a ton of details right now but I was wanting to reach out and see if any of you have done the same thing and what the results were.

I've been homeschooling for 11 years now (not as long as some, longer than others), but I've been really struck by some of the good things our local ps does with the kids, things that *would* be really good for kids with SN and kids who fall through the cracks.  In fact, I left our IEP meeting today really wondering why I don't send me ds there.   :lol:   

 

They definitely do some good things, things that I'm realizing I need to bring to my home to help our situation.  But I also suspect the other things the people in this thread are saying would happen to us.  Sometimes there's damage you don't expect and it can take a LONG TIME to undo that damage.  

 

I just wanted to throw out that if you have some SN going on and that June b-day, you might want to redshirt and repeat K5.  In some places that's the norm to redshirt June b-days.  Consider whether it would help your situation.  I think my ds must have just had a growth spurt, because he's doing things this week he has NEVER done before.  A year can make a difference.  I'm not saying it makes SN go away.  I'm just saying a grade adjust might smooth out part of what is stressing you and let you get back to focusing on him as being in his own progression.

 

There's pros and cons on the social thing.  My kids are essentially only's because they're 10 years apart.  I have my ds at the Y 4 days a week for classes.  We go to zoo days and Bible study and church services and playdates...  I like that I'm the one taking him to these things, because I can watch him and give the prompt for him to do the social goals.  This has been good for him, and he wouldn't have that kind of attention in school necessarily.  So it's just a different kind of socialization.  And wow, the peer models in school, guaranteed that can be un-pretty.  They can be really helpful for some things, but he'll probably bring home the bad too...

 

[madteaparty]

I'm hoping to do exactly that for high school. I've come to realise social interaction and academics are not as divorced as one would be led to think by the way we currently talk on these issues. My DS thrives and is motivated by peers; it will be hard for me to find the correct peer situation for high school but I know I am not it.

[Paige]

I think the outcome may depend on what sort of social needs you think your child needs help with. I'll probably put my youngest in school next year because she is extremely extroverted and very social. She's feeling restless, stifled, and cooped up at home despite all the outside activities we do. We think she'd be happy in school because she's very well adjusted socially and needs a greater outlet. I'm not looking forward to dealing with the school but she loves that kind of setting.

 

For kids who have difficulty in social situations, who have trouble fitting in, or knowing what the expected social responses are, I think most of the time PS would not be as beneficial. Those kids are more likely to continue not fitting in and instead of learning good social skills, they instead continue to struggle, may get bullied, and develop even more anxiety or dysfunctional habits.

 

 

[Mandylubug]

I have provided my kids with social opportunities to best meet their needs and I have seen them fluorish. Do I think our PS is the best place for MINE to meet their needs? No. I suppose in some situations, in some districts, I could see the potential. However, I think you can find other venues locally to add in socialization and opportunities that don't involve the school system.

[Reefgazer]

My kids both went to preschool at a young age (GASP!) and were in public school for some/most of their elementary years.  I have a lot of beefs with the public school and my kids will never darken their door again, however, issues about social interaction are not among my beefs.  But my kids were in a school that is considered very nice within this miserable district, has a terrific bunch of talented teachers, and is populated with parents who live in my neighborhood and who have values I am comfortable with.  These were parents I associated with and the children were kids my kids played with on the playground, so they were friends already by the time they hit elementary school.

 

My kids are quite well-adjusted, and I do credit a classroom setting with helping to develop that quality.  Now I don't necessarily think the public school was responsible for it, I rather think their preschool was.  But nevertheless, a "schooly" setting definitely helped bring out the best in my kids and taught them how to interact with a group (not something I could have taught with only 2 children).  They are super-comfortable and confident in a group and among newcomers, mainly because they learned to be in a classroom.  I think if you live in a high-poverty neighborhood or have a substantial amount of negative influences at school, or the school thinks testing is the same as an education, the equation changes and probably won't give as positive of an experience as we had.

[Arcadia]

We didn't put my oldest in public school for K and 1st for social reasons but he did flourish there. Then we were rezoned and the assigned school would be a bad fit for my youngest so we pull both out.

We did put both our kids in Saturday German school for social reasons and it worked very well. Last year we put our kids in more outside classes and we have seen improvements as well.

At the moment our boys assigned public schools won't be a good fit for their social needs so we are using outside classes to meet those needs.

It is not overnight but my oldest has gone from not willing to talk at start of K to asking for assistance or materials he need from us (parents) and instructors. My youngest has stop pretend crying which he used as attention seeking behavior. He would still cry if he fall and hurt himself.

[Bree]

We didn't do school, but my ds started taking Tae Kwon Do at age 6 and it really helped him with self confidence. Before he started he was very shy and a little withdrawn. His teacher would literally have to pick him up and put him in his spot at the beginning of class when he started. After about 6 months he won the award for most improved and had built a lot of self confidence and social skills were a lot better. He has wonderful instructors too that make a big difference. 

[Tsuga]

My oldest son will be six on June 11 and I am considering putting him in either public or private school to help him socially. I can't go in to a ton of details right now but I was wanting to reach out and see if any of you have done the same thing and what the results were.

 

Yes, but it might not be what you're thinking of.

 

I dreamt of homeschooling. I had three homeschooling books before my little one was 6 months old. We lived overseas and I thought it would be best.

 

Then her personality emerged. From the very beginning, she was drawn to others. She loved other kids. At 18 months, she asked me, after an international move, "Where are the other kids? I want to go to school with the other kids." Hello, what?

 

I enrolled her in pre-school at two and a half, a play-based pre-school with no pre-literacy program, basically an introduction to structure and group environment. She never cried. Never wanted to leave early. Never had an accident. Having begged for months to go to "school" she had no complaints. She has never complained about going to school.

 

When I tried to instruct her at home, she would cry. "I'm alone." "This is boring. There's nobody here." "Where are my friends? When can we see my friends?"

 

My second is similar. They are both extraverted, exuberant, bright girls and love learning in groups. The second has a harder time concentrating but learning at home is no fun, either.

 

Long story short, I did enroll them in PS because they needed socialization. But it's not that they needed to learn manners, social norms, social skills. I teach those. We learn those with family, at the park, etc. No, they are there to interact with kids their own age because, I guess, we are urban people, and I'm pretty sure between the Persians and the Spaniards they are 100% city-dwelling kids who do well with the herd.

 

I would not assume that a child having trouble sharing, for example, or a child who was child, would learn those social niceties best in PS. It would have to be a world-class school. I think that is a question of moral instruction and some kids have an easier time than others, and even once or twice a week would be sufficient for most children to get the concept.

 

I wish you the best of luck.

[kiwik]

it depends what sort of social skills they need, why they have tge problem with them and how much support they get. I managed to get through school without learning any social skills because it never occurred to anyone that I might not get them without help - I was just deemed immature. If I had had some support and explicit instruction school may have been a good place to practice.

[Guest rbkruby1]

Hi I am new to the forum. Looking forward for some informative answers. 

[Reefgazer]

On this topic or on another topic?

Hi I am new to the forum. Looking forward for some informative answers. 

 

[RoundAbout]

Sort of. We noticed our son was a lot more mature after a few weeks of various day camps In the summer. Since we had just moved and lived 10 minutes from a highly rated gifted public school decided to give it a try thinking we might continue some of the social growth we saw over the summer.

 

However between the bullies, tattletales, clowns, and disturbed kids ( one pulling down his pants frequently on the playground) decided it was not a great social environment. My son regressed, was bored academically, and was starting to emulate some of the clowning behaviors he saw get attention in class. Pulled him out mid year.

 

We decided that focused activitites in his areas of interest with other likeminded children and adults works better for him. The YMCA has also been great. The people there seem to know how to work well with children without the need to control or manage as in a classroom.

[LLMom]

I put my high schoolers in school for social reasons because we are rural, and they didn't have much of a chance for social opportunities.  It has been so good for them. 

[mom2scouts]

No, I pulled my 7 year old child out of public school to help him socially.  He was smart and quiet and apparently those were things the other children used to make fun of him.  He tried to stay under the radar to prevent others from teasing him and would sometimes go days at a time without talking to another student.  When I started homeschooling him, his confidence returned and he became much more outgoing.  Now he's still a bit shy, but much more comfortable talking to people of all ages.

[HomeAgain]

At that age, no.

 

Nearly ten years later, yes.  We moved to an area where the homeschool community....paled in comparison to what we left.  My son was floundering, trying to make friends with teens who were academically far behind or had narrow focus.  He didn't find idea-mates, and after a year we threw in the towel and sent him to a very small public school.  It has been the best decision for him.  He has friends.  He has people to discuss things with.  He didn't lose focus on academics (straddling public and virtual school). 

 

At age six? No.  Every bad trait would be magnified.

[TranquilMind]

My oldest son will be six on June 11 and I am considering putting him in either public or private school to help him socially. I can't go in to a ton of details right now but I was wanting to reach out and see if any of you have done the same thing and what the results were.

It doesn't help socially.

 

Social skills are learned at home.  They are just re-enacted, for good or ill, in settings like school.

 

No one on the planet was more socialized than a relative I know who  left for boarding school at age 12. 

 

He still barely spoke until well into his twenties.  The parents were and are awkward socially, and so was he.  He had to learn all that as an adult because he didn't learn it at home or at school. 

[macmacmoo]

Second Son is four and in the special education program at the local public school. it's the only way to get speech therapy for him. So in a round about way he is in public school to help him be more social. He is however in a class with a teacher and an assistant and only three other class mates.