Cussing gets mom arrested

[SadieMarie]

Here is another one for wtf?!

 

http://www.salon.com/2014/08/14/mother_arrested_for_dropping_f_bomb_in_front_of_her_kids/

[TechWife]

Unbelievable. What a waste of resources and so unnecessary for that family. 

 

It begs the question that, if the lady who reported her didn't want her arrested, why did she report her? 

[catz]

Yes it is!  I saw that story yesterday and that is flipping ridiculous.  It says the woman who called authorities did not want to see her arrested?  Hmm ... then why did you call authorities?  How about report her to store management? 

 

Do I think it's appropriate?  No.  Do I swear at my own kids in public?  No.  Do I think people should be arrested for it?  H*ll No. 

[zoobie]

There was another article that said she was talking to her husband who threw a frozen pizza in the cart, and she said stop squishing the f-ing bread! She wasn't in her child's face screaming epithets at him.

 

I think this is the same town as the playground mom.

 

Their jails should be really, really full.

[Slartibartfast]

I also hate it when people smash the bread.

[BrookValley.]

:blink:

 

If they could arrest this mom for dropping one f-bomb, they'd have enough to put me away for a very, very long time. Just sayin'.

[catz]

I also hate it when people smash the bread.

 

I know right?  Totally justifiable!  Who wants to eat smashed bread for a week?  :cursing:

 

:blink:

 

If they could arrest this mom for dropping one f-bomb, they'd have enough to put me away for a very, very long time. Just sayin'.

 

I'm just glad no one can hear me while I'm driving. 

:auto:    :D

[Word Nerd]

That's #$%&*%#%$ stupid.

[BrookValley.]

 

 

I'm just glad no one can hear me while I'm driving. 

:auto:    :D

 

Whew, me too! :laugh:

[MomtoCandJ]

I know right? Totally justifiable! Who wants to eat smashed bread for a week? :cursing:

 

 

I'm just glad no one can hear me while I'm driving.

:auto: :D

Agree :D my girls will have some serious road rage ( the cursing behind the wheel kind, not the get out of the car and beat someone kind)

[SadieMarie]

I try not to, but once in a while tired, a bad day, squashed bread, last straw... it can happen.  She probably would have been OK if she smacked her kid though.  

[umsami]

I am in so much f-ing trouble if this is viewed as justifiable reason for arrest.  

 

Unbelievable.  

 

I guess she should have told her kids to squeeze the Charmin instead.

[SKL]

If this wasn't so disgusting it would be almost funny.

 

Someone should be reprimanded, maybe fined for booking this lady on something so frivolous.

 

I think it's time for a general public outrage at the things cops are arresting parents for these days.

[Nart]

While I don't think she should be arrested, it is annoying when we go out and others are dropping the f bomb right and left. I went to a park with my two kids and DH for a soccer practice. My 7 year old was playing on the playground while DH and I watched our youngest play soccer. When I walked over to the 7 year old I heard two teenage girls sitting on the swings singing a chant with the f bomb over and over. Then they started talking and it was one f word after another. So I got my son and brought him over to the soccer practice and five minutes later I hear the girls mom yell over to them from a car "get the f--k over here right now. we are f--king going to be so late and miss the start of the f--king movie!".

 

That night after a bath my 7 year old yelled from his room "hey dad, can you help me with these f--king pajamas; I can't get the "f--king" buttons lined up".

[Farrar]

If that's illegal, they need to get out here and arrest most of the people who walk down the m-f-bomb street in my neighborhood.  My kids have been hearing people say that since they were infants.

 

I also have been known to use some choice words in their presence.  Increasingly I feel like I should just retain a lawyer at the ready for when I'm inevitably arrested and have my kids taken away.  I swear in front of them, they go to the park alone, they go to the store alone, I leave them in the car when I run into the gas station to buy something.  The media tells me I'm doomed.

[mommymilkies]

FFS.  Do we have nothing better to spend our tax money on?

[Kerileanne99]

If that's illegal, they need to get out here and arrest most of the people who walk down the m-f-bomb street in my neighborhood. My kids have been hearing people say that since they were infants.

 

I also have been known to use some choice words in their presence. Increasingly I feel like I should just retain a lawyer at the ready for when I'm inevitably arrested and have my kids taken away. I swear in front of them, they go to the park alone, they go to the store alone, I leave them in the car when I run into the gas station to buy something. The media tells me I'm doomed.

Not to mention music:)

I guess you will have to also make sure that any/all music the kids hear do not contain any profanity...of course, why stop there?

Ooh, although it must be said I may or may not have felt like using profanity at those ridiculous people who cruise parking lots with their windows down blasting music at a level devestating to your ears that I would definitely not choose my 4 yr old to hear:)

I always thought it was my job to use common sense, teach her that some words are inappropriate for common usage and that if (eventually) she saves them for special moments they will have sooo much more impact😄

But hey, maybe they will just all now be afraid of being arrested.

[Greta]

I completely agree that this does not justify an arrest!

 

I've noticed, however, that people certainly seem to feel a lot more free to cuss in public, loudly and often, than when I was a kid. I do think it's rather rude, not because I'm such a delicate flower that I can't hear curse words without being offended (in fact I'm pretty sure I've said them all myself), but because I've seen how completely frightened and freaked out kids can get when adults are throwing temper tantrums.

 

For example, an older man came up behind us in the checkout line at Target, and started throwing an absolute fit, cussing very loudly, because there were three people in line ahead of him. I'd say that if you've gotten to the age of 70-something and have failed to develop enough patience to wait in a line behind three people, you should probably just pay someone else to do your shopping for you. There was a number of small children around, who grabbed onto their mommies' legs for comfort and stared at him in wide-eyed horror. And you know what, it IS frightening to be around someone who is obviously unreasonable and has lost control of himself. You don't know what else this person might do. I'm guessing that was true of the mom in this story, because otherwise why would anyone call the authorities?

[mommymilkies]

I completely agree that this does not justify an arrest!

 

I've noticed, however, that people certainly seem to feel a lot more free to cuss in public, loudly and often, than when I was a kid. I do think it's rather rude, not because I'm such a delicate flower that I can't hear curse words without being offended (in fact I'm pretty sure I've said them all myself), but because I've seen how completely frightened and freaked out kids can get when adults are throwing temper tantrums.

 

For example, an older man came up behind us in the checkout line at Target, and started throwing an absolute fit, cussing very loudly, because there were three people in line ahead of him. I'd say that if you've gotten to the age of 70-something and have failed to develop enough patience to wait in a line behind three people, you should probably just pay someone else to do your shopping for you. There was a number of small children around, who grabbed onto their mommies' legs for comfort and stared at him in wide-eyed horror. And you know what, it IS frightening to be around someone who is obviously unreasonable and has lost control of himself. You don't know what else this person might do. I'm guessing that was true of the mom in this story, because otherwise why would anyone call the authorities?

I kind of agree.  I never used to be bothered by it, but always avoided cussing near children or loudly in public.  But then we had a run in with CPS and one of the things they asked my son as criteria for us apparently being child abusers is whether or not we cussed around the kids.  OMG, really?  Are there not more important things to worry about?  So now I am very cautious and paranoid about it and I get a little panic attack if dh cusses at home.  So watch out parents, apparently CPS agrees this is criminal.

I've noticed, however, that people certainly seem to feel a lot more free to cuss in public, loudly and often, than when I was a kid. I do think it's rather rude, not because I'm such a delicate flower that I can't hear curse words without being offended (in fact I'm pretty sure I've said them all myself),

 

 

Agree with the above, and if every third word out of your mouth is the f-bomb, what do you have left to say for when you are really upset?

[LibraryLover]

Was it for swearing or did she get into an altercation with another patron? One f bomb can get one arrested?

[mommymilkies]

Just sayin'. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/hell-yes-the-7-best-reasons-swearing

[TammyS]

I kind of agree.  I never used to be bothered by it, but always avoided cussing near children or loudly in public.  But then we had a run in with CPS and one of the things they asked my son as criteria for us apparently being child abusers is whether or not we cussed around the kids.  OMG, really?  Are there not more important things to worry about?  So now I am very cautious and paranoid about it and I get a little panic attack if dh cusses at home.  So watch out parents, apparently CPS agrees this is criminal.

 

CPS thinks everything is illegal.  They asked a friend's daughters if they were allowed to go to the movies.  Serious question to determine if their parents were neglectful. :svengo:

[LucyStoner]

A great way to protest this would be for all the parents in that town to go turn themselves in at the same time.

[catz]

When I was a kid, I heard people swear MUCH more than I generally do now actually, so maybe it's partly regional?   I don't love hearing people having a swearing fit either.  But for that matter, I don't want to see grown adults having tantrums, swearing or not.  Control your temper.  Everyone has a bad day, now and again.  If you're doing this regularly, you should probably work on it.

 

On the other hand, arrested or CPS involvement?  Especially over a one time viewed incident?  That is WAY over the top. 

[BrookValley.]

Agree with the above, and if every third word out of your mouth is the f-bomb, what do you have left to say for when you are really upset?

 

Oh, plenty. There are more than enough options. Trust me.

 

In all seriousness though, as filthy as my mouth is, I do not cuss in public (unless I'm provoked enough by some behavior to warrant saying exactly how I feel; rare, but when necessary, I don't hold back). That's rude. And while I'm not offended by others' filthy mouths, I do get annoyed that others assume I don't care or if doesn't matter if they swear in front of me or my kids. I don't think it's unreasonable to watch your mouth in public for the sake of being polite.

[LucyStoner]

No one is worthless for the words they choose.

[Greta]

When I was a kid, I heard people swear MUCH more than I generally do now actually, so maybe it's partly regional?

Oh, yes, I do live in a different part of the country, so that's a good point. I grew up on the southern Great Plains and now live in the desert Southwest. Tons more cussing here/now than there/then. Anyone else think this is more a function of geography than time? I'd be curious about other regions.

[Greta]

They are just words, and some of the most painful things I've ever heard in my life were couched in the most polite language available. It just doesn't follow for me that we don't all know the difference between cuss words and lewdness. Between cuss words and hurtfulness. We *do* so let's give up this ruse that some words, in a vacuum on their own, divorced from tone, culture, history and intent, are worse than others.

I do agree with this. In the example I mentioned and others that came to mind, I was thinking of people who were cussing in a very angry, ridiculous, "temper tantrum" way. On the other hand, I've heard a few very carefully selected and very cleverly placed cuss words that really enhanced the conversation. :lol:

[Murphy101]

A great way to protest this would be for all the parents in that town to go turn themselves in at the same time.

Or link up hand in hand singing the F-word outside the station.

 

I never grew up with anything censored around me. Not cuss words. Not sex. Nada. There was no adult stuff vs kid stuff. It was all just life.

 

As for it being classless. What a load of poo. Some of the worse cussing I or my dh have ever heard was from people way further up the income class scale than us or in corporate boardrooms.

 

As for what to say when really upset... Most folks aren't that limited by their imaginations. There's plenty.

 

I'm not for cussing. I hated that it was incredibly hard to break the habit of using the f word as commonly as the word "the". I never really thought about it until high school. And it took me years to consciously think about it so I wouldn't say it in casual conversation as much. (I mutter nonsense words like twiddle and farfignugen instead most of the time.)

 

And I agree with someone else. Cussing is not anywhere near the worst thing my kids could hear. The worst things have been oh so politely said. :/

 

I think it's nuts anyone would even contemplate calling authorities over non-threatening words.

It's even crazier that anyone on the other end of the phone would actually send a cop.

And the ultimate in lunacy is that the cop would show up and arrest her.

Right about that moment, I'd probably recall my youth and be dropping the f-bomb profusely.

[Greta]

I kind of agree. I never used to be bothered by it, but always avoided cussing near children or loudly in public. But then we had a run in with CPS and one of the things they asked my son as criteria for us apparently being child abusers is whether or not we cussed around the kids. OMG, really? Are there not more important things to worry about? So now I am very cautious and paranoid about it and I get a little panic attack if dh cusses at home. So watch out parents, apparently CPS agrees this is criminal.

Is there a single parent on the planet who would pass that test??? My Mom was one of the most anti-cussing people I've ever known, and even she let one slip on rare occasion. So if someone had asked me as a kid, "does your mom cuss around you?" I'm sure what would have come into my little child's mind was the one or two times that she did, rather than the millions of times that she didn't!

[SemiSweet]

This is insane. In South Carolina of all places where I had to sign a waiver so they could beat my kids at school if necessary (I didn't sign it), a simple f-bomb in front of kids is outlawed? Wtf?

[goldberry]

I absolutely detest public cursing in an environment where there are families (a grocery store vs a bar for example) and have been known to give the "stink eye" to someone cursing in public like that.  I would love to see a store employee or manager request that person to stop.

 

I would be appalled if someone were arrested for it.  It is a social misbehavior, not a criminal one.  Totally over the top and a waste of money.

[TammyS]

Is there a single parent on the planet who would pass that test??? My Mom was one of the most anti-cussing people I've ever known, and even she let one slip on rare occasion. So if someone had asked me as a kid, "does your mom cuss around you?" I'm sure what would have come into my little child's mind was the one or two times that she did, rather than the millions of times that she didn't!

 

Yes.  My FIL could.  I don't believe the man has actually thought a cuss word in his life.  He actually got into a fight with my SIL's dh once, about the dh cussing in front of his daughter.  He was seriously angry.  My SIL was like, 35 at the time, too, so it wasn't the protectiveness of a father toward a young bride.

[LucyStoner]

Well since you're apparently referring to me, I'll explain why I chose that wording. I have no idea why you attributed my comments on cursing as a value judgment on the individual, that is quite a leap.

 

The act of cursing lacks moral worth for the benefit of either the individual or society. It doesn't edify, it isn't the only appropriate mode of expressing a sentiment, and it coursens the public atmosphere. The worth is the act, not the individual. Cursing is worthless and without justifiable cause.

I think you are attributing far more to word choice than is actually there.

 

Oh course, I am the mom who just yesterday explained to my son that fugly was shorthand for f-ing ugly (as pertaining to my thoughts on the trim material of the Toyota Sienna we were test driving.)

 

A word's worth is in its ability to convey meaning. Curse words certainly convey meaning.

[Annie G]

If the police in my town enforced this law I wouldn't have to wait in line at Walmart. The place would be pretty empty.   So would our local park and city pool. 

 

I have a fairly foul mouth but I confine my profanity to my own house or car, where I'm not offending anyone. Except maybe my cat. 

[mommymilkies]

Yes.  My FIL could.  I don't believe the man has actually thought a cuss word in his life.  He actually got into a fight with my SIL's dh once, about the dh cussing in front of his daughter.  He was seriously angry.  My SIL was like, 35 at the time, too, so it wasn't the protectiveness of a father toward a young bride.

So fighting was less of a problem than cussing? LOL

[albeto.]

Katie - I don't divorce language from morality - expressions and communication have varying value, and cursing lacks value. There is no sentiment in the English language that can't be expressed with other words that are more respectful, thoughtful, beautiful, or valuable.

 

For me, at least, cursing is base and depraved. Or at the very least demonstrates a lack of creativity and self control. Yes, I feel strongly about that. I still wouldn't call the cops or call someone out for doing it, but my worldview dictates that words have meaning and we are accountable for them, so this is what I teach my children. Speak carefully, respectfully, and with an eye on edifying all who hear. If the words are heavy or reproving, be even *more* careful in how you state them. Cursing over a smooshed loaf of bread is the height of pointless and careless words.

 

We'll likely just disagree on this.

 

Words evolve just like moral codes. "Dumb" was once offensive, "gay" meant "happy" exclusively, and street words were only heard on the street (or in private dens among cognac sipping gentlemen), back when "high society" included wearing monocles and top hats unironically. There was a time when a single mother was similarly as offensive to society, as was black man refusing to cast his eyes down when a white woman walked in his direction, or a Jewish man refusing to hide his religion. To suggest words are actually indicative of morality is silly and old fashioned. It also reflects a lack of social diversity. 

[vonfirmath]

Is there a single parent on the planet who would pass that test??? My Mom was one of the most anti-cussing people I've ever known, and even she let one slip on rare occasion. So if someone had asked me as a kid, "does your mom cuss around you?" I'm sure what would have come into my little child's mind was the one or two times that she did, rather than the millions of times that she didn't!

 

Yes. I don't recall, growing up, EVER hearing either of my parents cuss in my presence. Not even when my dad was working under the stage and somehow got STUCK in it and needed my sister and I (the only people in ear's distance) to come and help him. He didn't say "F*, Come and lean on the stage and get me out of her. S* F* C*!"  he said something like "I need your help now" and in a tone of voice we knew meant to obey NOW. No curse words. Ever.

[Greta]

Maybe I should clarify that the one or two times I heard my mom cuss, it was just damn, not even something all that bad. But since I wasn't allowed to say it, it seemed bad to me! But I didn't mean that there's literally not one person on the planet who has never cussed. I know I was exaggerating. I just meant that it's a completely ridiculous test of good parenting, because lots of good parents would fail.

[albeto.]

This is insane. In South Carolina of all places where I had to sign a waiver so they could beat my kids at school if necessary (I didn't sign it), a simple f-bomb in front of kids is outlawed? Wtf?

 

Because physical and emotional pain isn't bullying, it character building, but an occasional f-bomb will mess. them. up.

 

Or something. ;)

[LucyStoner]

Katie - I don't divorce language from morality - expressions and communication have varying value, and cursing lacks value. There is no sentiment in the English language that can't be expressed with other words that are more respectful, thoughtful, beautiful, or valuable.

 

For me, at least, cursing is base and depraved. Or at the very least demonstrates a lack of creativity and self control. Yes, I feel strongly about that. I still wouldn't call the cops or call someone out for doing it, but my worldview dictates that words have meaning and we are accountable for them, so this is what I teach my children. Speak carefully, respectfully, and with an eye on edifying all who hear. If the words are heavy or reproving, be even *more* careful in how you state them. Cursing over a smooshed loaf of bread is the height of pointless and careless words.

 

We'll likely just disagree on this.

This is you opinion and a choice you make. It makes you, or your words no more or less valuable than the words of another. You needn't attribute such weight to certain, changing words, over others. Some words you probably consider swear words used to be common, non-vulgar words. Other words that used to be vulgar are now considered common and not swear words. How do you parse what vernacular is of value and what is not?

 

There are plenty of thoughts that I personally think are illustrated more aptly with some choice curse words.

[Leav97]

/snip  

 

I might secretly be cheering if I was standing there.

 

/snip

 

 

/snip

 

I have no idea why you attributed my comments on cursing as a value judgment on the individual, that is quite a leap.

 

/snip

 

I don't think it's much of a leap

[Murphy101]

Words evolve just like moral codes. "Dumb" was once offensive, "gay" meant "happy" exclusively, and street words were only heard on the street (or in private dens among cognac sipping gentlemen), back when "high society" included wearing monocles and top hats unironically. There was a time when a single mother was similarly as offensive to society, a black man refusing to cast his eyes down when a white woman walked in his direction, or a Jewish man refusing to hide his religion. To suggest words are actually indicative of morality is silly and old fashioned. It also reflects a lack of social diversity.

 

Where's that snowball?! We agree!

 

 

That aside, what even qualifies as a cuss word has been hotly debated in this very forum more than once.

 

Crap, poo, sh,t, feces, excrement, bowel movement all mean the same thing, but people spaz over the first and third and not the others.

 

I once had someone correct me in my own home because I used the phrase "that sucks". She thought it was very offensive.

I asked why and she said, "oh come on like you don't know how it ends! Suck what?!"

Me: rotten eggs? Same as it's been since kindergarten?! What do YOU think it means?!

She then proceed to "educate" me about my crass language and what it "really" meant. To her anyways.

I was horrified by HER mental leap and never invited her to my home again. I can wait to be insulted and corrected outside my home tyvm.

 

People need to get over themselves.

[Farrar]

I'm talking about language that society acknowledges as rude or shameful in the current context.

 

But you're assuming that we're in the same society.  Some corners of society swear more and others swear less.  Use of swear words can mean different things in different communities.  You're putting a judgment on the ones that swear more, even though there's a cultural difference there - you're saying, my view of when and where is appropriate but others are not.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Katie - I don't divorce language from morality - expressions and communication have varying value, and cursing lacks value. There is no sentiment in the English language that can't be expressed with other words that are more respectful, thoughtful, beautiful, or valuable.

 

For me, at least, cursing is base and depraved. Or at the very least demonstrates a lack of creativity and self control. Yes, I feel strongly about that. I still wouldn't call the cops or call someone out for doing it, but my worldview dictates that words have meaning and we are accountable for them, so this is what I teach my children. Speak carefully, respectfully, and with an eye on edifying all who hear. If the words are heavy or reproving, be even *more* careful in how you state them. Cursing over a smooshed loaf of bread is the height of pointless and careless words.

 

We'll likely just disagree on this.

 

If cursing is base and depraved and demonstrates a lack of creativity and self-control, so is any language that fail to meet those standards whether curse words are involved or not. Which is why we can't be the language police. If we're going to outlaw a list of actual terminology, who gets to make the list? If we are outlawing tone and motive, people don't need to swear to be base or depraved or non-creative or out of control....or harmful...

 

I never curse in public. I think I only curse in FB pm chats and even there I never go farther than hell or damn, because I'm really not a person who is into swearing. But I would not be secretly cheering on the police for arresting this woman, because I'm against totalitarianism and fascism. I'd be joining Lucy Stoner and the rest of the town in turning myself in for not being perfect, forcing them to arrest us all.

[LucyStoner]

Of course language evolves.

 

I'm talking about language that society acknowledges as rude or shameful in the current context.

 

If I wouldn't say it in front of, say, an elderly person or clergy because it just "wouldn't be right" or would embarrass or be scandalous to hear, then for me it isn't appropriate to say in any company. And there are definitely words in our society, right now, that fit that bill. Language is absolutely moral, and an expression of value. I can't control what anyone else says, but for my own mouth and those of my children? We work at keeping it respectful, self controlled, and edifying to those who hear. Words matter.

I've heard both elderly people and clergy swear.

 

Who is "society"? Your society? That may or may not be my society. Oh gosh flippity flarn it. Arguing about the definition of society is so sophomoric. All we need is pj pants and a dorm lounge.

 

Why does this matter? Your views of swearing certainly don't justify arresting someone.

[BrookValley.]

Oh, never mind. I can't see through the tears because I'm giggling myself silly here.

[LucyStoner]

But then I'm not the one defending cursing in public in front of children, either.

I am just not vilifying it. That's different than "defending it".

 

I certainly wouldn't cheer to see some one arrested in front of their children for a total non-crime.

[albeto.]

Of course language evolves.

 

I'm talking about language that society acknowledges as rude or shameful in the current context.

 

If I wouldn't say it in front of, say, an elderly person or clergy because it just "wouldn't be right" or would embarrass or be scandalous to hear, then for me it isn't appropriate to say in any company. And there are definitely words in our society, right now, that fit that bill. Language is absolutely moral, and an expression of value. I can't control what anyone else says, but for my own mouth and those of my children? We work at keeping it respectful, self controlled, and edifying to those who hear. Words matter.

 

This context is what makes me consider your lack of social diversity. Not everyone flinches when hearing swear words just like not everyone flinches when being introduced to a single mother. As these things are more and more visible in society, they become less and less scandalous. 

 

How is language moral? Or are you suggesting language conveys morality? If it's the second, then I suggest you're limiting your access to other avenues that also convey morality. That's not right or wrong, it's a personal choice to make, but it shouldn't' be mistaken as fact.