I'm trying to ignore the depressing truth about my brother...

[Mom to Aly]

I came on here to cheer myself up, and it has worked, but I can't ignore what is really bothering me. I know this is long, but if you can bear with me, I'd appreciate it. I'm really down about it.

 

I've written about my twin brother a couple of times before. When we were 15, he had a psychotic breakdown. He is schizo-effective, which is a combination of schizophrenia and manic depression. It took them until 5 years ago to finally hit upon that diagnosis (27 years after his first breakdown). Originally they said he wouldn't make it to 18, then 20, then 25, etc. He has tried to kill himself probably a dozen times, serious attempts (he is so proud of the fact that he is the only person to have ever jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge and lived). He has been a guinea pig to the many docs he has had, every time he has changed docs, they will decide they know best, change his meds, he will have a breakdown, they will change them again, he'll be in the hosp for months, etc. Between that and him deciding to stop his meds he has been hospitalized many times in his life.

 

He also has diabetes, congenital heart disease, high blood pressure, kidney probs, you name it, he's got it. He had a massive heart attack 6 years ago, which they said he wouldn't survive. We finally found a doc that said they would "try" a triple bypass, expecting he would die on the table; he survived with a double (he is beyond blessed). That gave him a very strong desire to live--totally changed him. He has been such a different person, and has achieved a level they said he never would. He has lived on his own, in supportive housing, for years. My mom helps him too much, but he still does live alone. He is still ill, but better than they ever thought he could be.

 

But, still, I know that he lives in pain. He is very alone. He doesn't have any real friends; he is so different, and I see him, in society, reaching out to people, and how they shy away from him. He tries too hard, he is too different, he is brilliant, an IQ of over 190, and talks above people, so they think he thinks he is above them, etc. He is painfully lonely, and feels how different he is, sees people laughing at him, and can't change himself, can't stop himself from trying. He also has ADD or ADHD, I can't remember which, and talks non-stop, to everyone, yet another reason he has probs. He is so lonely, to give you an example, he has gone to the same hairdresser, every week, for the last three years. He is on gov't disability, something like $540 a month. He has no extra money, can afford nothing, but goes there to see this woman, whom he claims to be in love with, and I'm sure he thinks he is. But he has to pay her for hair cuts to spend time with her. And tips her every week. HE HAS NO HAIR LEFT TO CUT!! But he goes. A few months ago, the shop closed and she didn't tell him, or leave him an address. And it broke his heart. I am sure she didn't want him to know, but he cried for I don't know how long.

 

I just feel like his whole life is pain, and I hate to see it.

 

Just after the incident with the hairdresser, he apparently decided, for the first time in 8 years, to stop taking his meds. He declined rapidly, and we finally got him into a hospital; he checked himself in. Then checked himself out, two weeks later, not much better. I went to see him, which I knew would be a mistake (from the beginning, he has always blamed me--I was always much more sociable, had a lot of friends, did better in school, etc, so I was the reason he didn't have friends, I took his attention away, I caused all his probs, etc. Whenever he gets worse, he blames me). He was fine until he saw me, then got almost violent, so I left hysterical.

 

He went home, became worse and worse, we tried to get him committed, which was impossible, because he wouldn't open his door, and the police wouldn't go in, even though we felt he was a danger to himself. It took us nearly 6 weeks to get him back in, and by then he was in really bad shape.

 

He was in for 4 weeks, and they let him go before he was ready to be released, but even Medicaid and Medicare don't go as far as they used to, and they push them out with that. But he seemed better, or so I thought.

 

He lives near my mom and sister, 10 miles from me. I have no car, and my sister won't take me to see him, plus he disconnected his phone, so I have to trust what she tells me, which is nothing. I called her tonight, and her husband said she was out. She finally called me back, and said my brother had come over and asked to go to the hospital. SHe said he was "crazy", a word she doesn't use lightly, almost violently angry, which means he is really bad off, had stopped his meds again, and was much worse. I asked how this happened, and she told me she hadn't seen him in TWO WEEKS!! I've been asking her every day, and she's been telling me he's fine, but she really hasn't seen him in two weeks, since my mom went to NY to visit my other sister. And he is now worse off than he has been in 10 years.

 

When he has this type of psychotic break, it does permanent damage, it means he won't get back to where he was before. And I'm so upset, and so angry with her, and I feel so badly for him. He has had such a horrible life, and such a sad and painful life, and I don't know what to do. He is in a hospital about 20 miles from me, in the city; my sister has already told me she isn't going to go to visit him often, and I am too far out of the way to pick up (I'm 4 miles out of the way), and I doubt I'll be able to see him, which may not be the worst thing, but it is very hard to hear about from a distance.

 

Anyway, that is it. I'm just very, very down about this, and feel so much for him. I just don't understand why his life has to be so, so hard. I feel like he has no pleasure whatsoever, and never really has. I wonder if he is ever really happy, ever? And it makes me so, so sad.

 

Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated now. If you have gotten this far, thanks so much.

[Michelle in MO]

tell you that I can pray for your dear brother, which is the best I can do, and to offer you and your family :grouphug:.

 

Without going into great detail, my own mother had some serious emotional and mental difficulties, although not as serious as your brother's problems, from the sound of it. It was very painful to watch; from the time I was around 15, when I became aware of the problem, until the time she passed away, when I was 26, it was a heartbreaking situation at times.

 

I truly do not have deep insight into these emotional and mental problems, but it sounds like you and your family are coping as well as anyone could, under the circumstances. It also sounds like your brother is doing as well as he possibly can. I also really don't have a doctor's insight into how many of these problems can be worked through, little by little, by the choice of the individual themselves. I don't know at what point someone's own choices come into play, and when it doesn't; I think only a trained psychologist or psychiatrist, or perhaps a priest or pastor, could help with those questions. I'm not suggesting your brother is choosing to be the way he is. But you and your family may only be able to do so much for him.

 

My best advice would be to continue to love him, and to try not to get too overwhelmed by the situation. Easy to say; much harder to do. I know---I've been there to a certain degree myself. Don't feel guilty if you need to give yourself some "distance" from the situation from time to time. Above all, pray for him. You never know what effects those prayers can have on such a troubled individual.

 

Another thought: You're in a situation that is causing chronic pain. I would imagine it might be something like what the family of an alcoholic has to live through, and there are support groups like Al-Anon to help them. They can't always change the person who is dealing with alcoholism or mental illness. If there is such a support group available in your area, you might try to become involved with them.

 

And, come to these boards often for :grouphug: and support. Peace to you and your dear family.

[Laura Corin]

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this, but have no wise words to give you.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[Staci in MO]

I can't do anything but pray.

[LNC]

I'm so sorry. There are just no words.

 

I have a son who is profoundly disabled and terminally ill. But, I think what your family is going through is the very hardest trial I can imagine. I know you feel utterly helpless.

 

I'm praying for him and your family.

[Gretchen in NJ]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Remudamom]

I'm so sorry. It must make it harder that you are twins. Ours are so close.

 

Prayers for all of you.

[Jennifer3141]

I'm so very sorry you have to deal with this. And I'm even sorrier for your brother. I wish we could "fix" him.

 

Is it possible your sister hasn't gone to see him because your mother has been away? Is she scared? Uncomfortable? Has she resigned herself to the idea that your brother will someday succeed in killing himself and decided to distance herself? I think you have to let go of any anger towards her because you all need each other. And every person has a different limit. Perhaps she has hit hers?

 

I have a father with major depressive episodes. People's reactions to mental illness are so varied. There are people (family) who abandoned my father that I never thought would. Then there are others who just stepped right up. But what I've learned is that everyone has a different set point where they can handle mental illness.

 

:grouphug: to you. You surely deserve them!

 

Jen

[elegantlion]

No advice, :grouphug:.

[starlashine]

I will pray for you. I don't have a lot of advice, except to say that when/if he gets better again, maybe a support group can be found for him? I don't know what options you would have in your area, but maybe helping him find a group that involves others like him would help him make some friends. If not in the area, maybe an internet support group would be an option? Just a suggestion, I'm really out of my depth here. :grouphug:

[WTMindy]

No words, just BIG HUGE :grouphug:!!! I'm saying a prayer for you and your family right now!!! I'm so sorry!!

[Karenciavo]

First off, :grouphug: I know how hard it is. I lost a SIL to schizophrenia and a brother to drug abuse exasperated by depression. None of this is in your control, you have to accept that. Love him, try really hard to see him if you think it will help, and if you pray then do it, a lot. There are so many things to mourn about the situation and that's normal to do, try not to get sucked into any unhealthy drama from your sister.

[dangermom]

Oh, that's so terribly hard. I have no advice though. :(

[G5052]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. We've had horrific issues of late with my parents (both have age-related dementia), and my husband has very challenging, degenerative medical problems that won't end well. In January I was near the breaking point and thankfully had the option to go see a psychologist for a low co-pay (DH was seeing the same lady for his post-traumatic stress disorder and other issues). She helped me to truly "let go" and accept that I can't do a whole lot to improve either situation. In the end I should indeed do what I can, but I must accept that there is a lot that is out of my control. I am so much more even and accepting of crises as it comes now. My situation will never get better unfortunately, but there are ways for me to stay even.

 

So yes, if there's any way that you can join a support group for families dealing with mental illness or speak to someone who will help you cope, it can make a huge difference. I realize that your budget is very tight, but there are free or low-cost resources for this type of help in many areas of the country.

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I'm so sorry about your brother. :grouphug:

 

My mom has also been diagnosed with Schizo-affective Disorder, but refuses to accept it and is in deep denial. It's so hard to watch someone you love go through something that is painful for them, you, the family and everyone who comes in contact with them.

 

Recently my sister and I have started going to a therapist together just to help us cope with the pain of watching someone you love slowly kill themselves by refusing treatment or constantly putting themselves in impossible situations that set them up to fail. Believe me, I'm not really a therapy kind of person, but I was at my wit's end and it was really starting to affect my own health (physical and mental) and how I interacted with my own personal family. They are my number one concern and I refuse to let any outside influences ruin their lives as well.

 

It's such a hard balance. Impossible it seems some days.

 

Will keep you in our hearts and prayers. I hope everything works out beautifully, and for your strength of spirit in case it doesn't.

[Once]

I'm sorry you are going through this. You amaze me with your strength through it all. As I read your post you seem to really have a handle of what is most important. I pray that this will be fruitful. Perhaps now that he is in the hospital you can write to him regularily to let him know how much you love him. This might be a step torward healing. Even if he is not able to write you back maybe he will sense your love.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

:grouphug:

 

Is there somewhere you can go to get support for yourself? Where people really understand the pain this is causing you?

 

I work with the mentally ill (although not as ill as you describe) and I know their families suffer along with them.

 

:grouphug:

[Pink Fairy]

My heart is breaking for you and your family. Sending many :grouphug: and lots of prayers for you all.

[Tammyla]

I'm so sorry.:grouphug:

[Mabelen]

I am really sorry about your brother. It must be so painful for you. There is really not much you can do, unfortunately it is beyond your reach, but you can't stop hurting because you love him.

 

Like others said, it might be a good idea to get some counseling yourself to help you deal with the stress and pain of seeing your loved one in such condition.

 

Take care.

[Aubrey]

:grouphug:

[sdWTMer]

I'm so sorry Mom to Aly.

 

With some mental issues in my extended family, I'm sensitive to this! I'm so very sorry. Hang in there.

[Desert Rat]

Mental illness in the family here too. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. No words of wisdom but I hope you find peace. I need to go call my brother now. :o(

[dirty ethel rackham]

{{hugs}}. I have no words for you. You are in our prayers.

[BlueGator]

As others have said, I have no words to help other than I'm sorry for this. I'll be praying for you to have strength and wisdom.

 

God Bless.

[Mom to Aly]

Thank all of you for your very kind words and help. To those with mental illness in your families, I am so stunned at how many people seem to have this now, or, I guess, admit to it. When my brother first became ill, 27 years ago, it was so taboo to talk about. If I mentioned it to someone, they sort of ran from me, looking over their shoulder as if it were contagious. Now, people are so caring and empathetic. Thank you so much.

 

As for counseling, even if I can get there, I have no one to watch dd. I used to think therapy was a joke, paying a "friend", until I my xh left me, then I found a therapist, and we "clicked". It was wonderful, like I had found that perfect friend who was empathetic, understanding, unbiased (well, a bit biased, towards me ;) ), and it was the best! I do wish I could go now, but, in the meantime, I have you guys :)! These boards really are great :).

 

Thank you all, for your wonderful words, especially those who opened up about their own families. I am so sorry for your pain, most of all Karenciavo. I am so sorry for your losses. Take care.

[chaik76]

:grouphug:

I have never been in a situation like this, so obviously have no advice to give you, but I wanted to let you know that my thoughts go with you and your twin as you journey through this.

[Scarlett]

Thank all of you for your very kind words and help. To those with mental illness in your families, I am so stunned at how many people seem to have this now, or, I guess, admit to it.

 

I've followed the thread all day and my heart just aches for you. Have you read the book "I know this much is true"? I guess because you are a twin to him I really remembered the book when I saw your post.

 

My own brother has suffered his whole life...although not to the extent that your brother...still...it is tough. He was diagnosed with Bi-Polar about 2 years ago...after 20 years of torture inflicted upon himself and his family. There is a certain amount of disconnect required and it is a fine line to walk.

[melmac]

I don't know what to say, :grouphug:

[muffinmom]

So sorry you (and he) are dealing with this. My aunt was diagnosed with schizophrenia many years ago. She went from beautiful homecoming queen to really unattractive and completely "unable" to take care of herself. So sad. Seemed like a life that just went down the tubes. And it seemed that no matter what anyone did, she was not willing to take on her own responsibilities. Even just basic ones, like hygiene. She was physically able, but not willing.

 

Having said all that--I really have no advice, because I still don't understand what would have been best for her. I don't think anyone knew how to help her or even if they could.

 

I hope and pray something can get through to your brother. :grouphug:

[Jennifer3141]

I've followed the thread all day and my heart just aches for you. Have you read the book "I know this much is true"? I guess because you are a twin to him I really remembered the book when I saw your post.

 

My own brother has suffered his whole life...although not to the extent that your brother...still...it is tough. He was diagnosed with Bi-Polar about 2 years ago...after 20 years of torture inflicted upon himself and his family. There is a certain amount of disconnect required and it is a fine line to walk.

 

I thought about that book too!! "The roundness of things..."

That might be a very healing read for you, Mom.

 

Jen

[Amy in Orlando]

((((Mom to Aly)))) Mental illness is so devestating to everyone involved. I will be praying for you and your family.

[Tree House Academy]

No words of wisdom...just hugs for you and prayers for your brother. It sounds like you refer a lot of what he is going through onto yourself too. It is not your fault! It is not his fault either. Poor guy.

[Mom to Aly]

So sorry you (and he) are dealing with this. My aunt was diagnosed with schizophrenia many years ago. She went from beautiful homecoming queen to really unattractive and completely "unable" to take care of herself. So sad. Seemed like a life that just went down the tubes. And it seemed that no matter what anyone did, she was not willing to take on her own responsibilities. Even just basic ones, like hygiene. She was physically able, but not willing.

 

Having said all that--I really have no advice, because I still don't understand what would have been best for her. I don't think anyone knew how to help her or even if they could.

 

I hope and pray something can get through to your brother. :grouphug:

 

I had so much anger and resentment about him and towards him for so long, and it took me many, many years, and my goddaughter and sister both getting ill (bi-polar), but not nearly as ill, for me to get some comprehension of what he is going through. My sister, who had a 4.0 gpa and a full fellowship to Harvard, had a breakdown when my father died, and just stopped living for a few years. She did get it together, with better meds than were available for my brother when he first got sick, and much less of a breakdown, and major therapy, and she has had a handle on her disease ever since. She, and my goddaughter, both have shown me a side I would never have understood otherwise.

 

Seeing her go from the capable, independent person she was, to a baby who could or would do nothing on her own made me realize it wasn't just selfishness that made my brother as he was, which I think I felt for a long time. He was in pain I couldn't understand, his paranoia I still don't understand, honestly, none of it is something I can feel, but at least now I know it is real, as it is with your aunt. You say she is not willing to take care of herself; I'm sure it is that she is not capable. That is one of the biggest problems with this disease; for us, on the outside, we can't see it. If someone is crippled, we see the problem, we feel for them. This is something that cripples from the inside, but from the outside we can't see it, so we think they are fine.

 

I still have problems with it, and have to stop myself and think, no, I don't know how it is, I don't know what he is going through. But, knowing how brilliant he is, how much he wants for himself, how much he wants a life, I have to believe it would be different if he could make it so. That is, in a way, why it hurts me so much more now--because it didn't for so long. I so misjudged him. I was the one who thought he was selfish, and self centered, and he was--but not in the way we would normally think.

 

I've come to realize, that is why people try to kill themselves when they are mentally ill, which is something I never understood, and used to make me so angry, I couldn't take it! I've been through so much pain in my life, and never considered anything like that, not even when I lost my first child--because I knew, everything is temporary, everything changes! But I have realized, they don't feel that way--they cannot see past themselves, past their pain, past that moment--they cannot see past their lives to know it will get better. Their life is in that moment, that moment of tremendous pain, and nothing else matters, not their families, friends, nothing but that pain. And I think that is so sad, that they suffer so much, they hurt so much, nothing seems like it could ever get better.

 

Ooh, I'm depressing! Sorry, you guys have made me feel better, really!

 

Thank you.

[Mom to Aly]

I've followed the thread all day and my heart just aches for you. Have you read the book "I know this much is true"? I guess because you are a twin to him I really remembered the book when I saw your post.

 

My own brother has suffered his whole life...although not to the extent that your brother...still...it is tough. He was diagnosed with Bi-Polar about 2 years ago...after 20 years of torture inflicted upon himself and his family. There is a certain amount of disconnect required and it is a fine line to walk.

 

 

No, I haven't read that book--nearly did, but then chickened out. Instead, I read "She's Come Undone", or something like that, and it was one of the most depressing things I've ever read, and I am so grateful I didn't read the other, I think it would have killed me!

 

I am so sorry about your brother! I know you must have a lot of anger and resentment, but, as I have said, he must have had a lot of pain that you can't yet understand. His self inflicted torture was in no way intentional. I hope you and your family can all begin to heal now, and that he can find a road to recovery. The one wonderful thing is that medicine is so different now than when my brother first became ill. Hopefully your brother's experience will be totally different.

 

Take care.

[nakitty]

I'm so very sorry....it is so painful to watch a loved one in pain...:grouphug:

 

I just thought you might find some comfort in that.... the highs of manic episodes bring on a euphoric like state...that is very much like the feeling of pure happiness. Yes, it is a chemically induced euphoria... but, at least it is an occasional relief to the pain. In fact...many manics become addicted to those euphoric feelings...which is why they stop their medication. Add schitzophrenia to the mix...and it is a wonder he stays on the meds for any length of time. I know it is extremely hard to not take it personal when he blames you and attacks you verbally (and physically ?) but, and I'm sure you know this...but sometimes it helps to hear it too.... it is NOT personal.... and it is NOT your fault. And somewhere inside him....he knows that...and he loves you. He is just trapped inside there...and it is impossible for him to express that. :grouphug:

[Amy in Orlando]

Do not apologize. Please. It is so very hard to watch someone with so many gifts and talents just "go." You're right, they do not process things in the same way. And there is so very little you can do. Do what you can to accept your brother as he is and keep going. Really, that's all you can do. (((()))) I'm glad you're feeling better. Hang in there!!

[HSMom2One]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I'm so, so, so sorry for the pain you are feeling over your twin brother. Your post was heart-wrenching, as I am all too familiar with these types of challenges. I, too, have a loved one that suffers from mental illness. My son is 30 yo and was diagnosed Bipolar ten years ago. His father, my ex-husband, also has the same illness so I have been around the block a few times. (He also jumped off a bridge like your brother, and survived.) And look at all the others that have replied that have loved ones suffering this way too. Thank goodness people talk openly about these things in this generation.

 

I'm so very sorry you have to deal with this. And I'm even sorrier for your brother. I wish we could "fix" him.

 

Is it possible your sister hasn't gone to see him because your mother has been away? Is she scared? Uncomfortable? Has she resigned herself to the idea that your brother will someday succeed in killing himself and decided to distance herself? I think you have to let go of any anger towards her because you all need each other. And every person has a different limit. Perhaps she has hit hers?

 

I have a father with major depressive episodes. People's reactions to mental illness are so varied. There are people (family) who abandoned my father that I never thought would. Then there are others who just stepped right up. But what I've learned is that everyone has a different set point where they can handle mental illness.

 

:grouphug: to you. You surely deserve them!

 

Jen

 

I agree with Jen. Everyone has a limit emtionally. Having a family member with this illness takes its toll on the whole family and each person has their own grieving/coping process to add to the mix. This has been my experience and observation over the years as well. Yes, people talk more openly than they used to about mental illness, but there is still such a stigma attached to mental illness in our society. We can't expect or force people to see or feel things the same way we do, as much as we want that to happen.

 

You said you have a transportation problem, but I wonder if there is a way you could attend NAMI meetings in your area once a month. Have you ever looked into this? (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). They have a wonderful website (www.nami.org) with loads of information, and perhaps an online forum for families in lieu of a real life support group. There is a 12 week course called Family to Family that is dynamic. I took it and it helped me understand and cope in a much better way.

 

This, and lots of prayer for yourself, your family and especially your brother is the best way to help. I really believe that God watches over the mentally ill (and I could tell you stories about why I feel this way.) He is a God of compassion, and there are many stories in the Bible about Jesus touching the lives of suffering people. I had to learn in my own life that I cannot fix my son, but I can trust the Creator of the Universe to work through his life.

 

Please know that you are cared about and that others are praying with you and for your family.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Scarlett]

No, I haven't read that book--nearly did, but then chickened out. Instead, I read "She's Come Undone", or something like that, and it was one of the most depressing things I've ever read, and I am so grateful I didn't read the other, I think it would have killed me!

 

Oh my! I HATED 'She's Come Undone'. I totally agree that it is one of the most depressing things I've ever read. Ugh. It is hard for me to believe Wallie Lamb wrote both books because I LOVE "IKTMIT" so much. Please give it a try. I don't think it will depress you the way SCU did.

[Mom to Aly]

Oh my! I HATED 'She's Come Undone'. I totally agree that it is one of the most depressing things I've ever read. Ugh. It is hard for me to believe Wallie Lamb wrote both books because I LOVE "IKTMIT" so much. Please give it a try. I don't think it will depress you the way SCU did.

I will look at it, although it is still somewhat scary. Yes, "She's Come Undone" was horrible--I didn't see how anyone could like him after that. I thought all his stuff was like that. Thanks for the recommendation!

[Mom to Aly]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I'm so, so, so sorry for the pain you are feeling over your twin brother. Your post was heart-wrenching, as I am all too familiar with these types of challenges. I, too, have a loved one that suffers from mental illness. My son is 30 yo and was diagnosed Bipolar ten years ago. His father, my ex-husband, also has the same illness so I have been around the block a few times. (He also jumped off a bridge like your brother, and survived.) And look at all the others that have replied that have loved ones suffering this way too. Thank goodness people talk openly about these things in this generation.

 

 

 

I agree with Jen. Everyone has a limit emtionally. Having a family member with this illness takes its toll on the whole family and each person has their own grieving/coping process to add to the mix. This has been my experience and observation over the years as well. Yes, people talk more openly than they used to about mental illness, but there is still such a stigma attached to mental illness in our society. We can't expect or force people to see or feel things the same way we do, as much as we want that to happen.

 

You said you have a transportation problem, but I wonder if there is a way you could attend NAMI meetings in your area once a month. Have you ever looked into this? (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). They have a wonderful website (www.nami.org) with loads of information, and perhaps an online forum for families in lieu of a real life support group. There is a 12 week course called Family to Family that is dynamic. I took it and it helped me understand and cope in a much better way.

 

This, and lots of prayer for yourself, your family and especially your brother is the best way to help. I really believe that God watches over the mentally ill (and I could tell you stories about why I feel this way.) He is a God of compassion, and there are many stories in the Bible about Jesus touching the lives of suffering people. I had to learn in my own life that I cannot fix my son, but I can trust the Creator of the Universe to work through his life.

 

Please know that you are cared about and that others are praying with you and for your family.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

I have been to NAMI, not in a long time, but went for years. I found it frustrating, because they could do so little of what I knew could help my brother, but I know they are making big strides now.

 

And, yes, I do think they are watched over. My brother has jumped off of two bridges, the one I mentioned, and another, over a highway--he landed just outside of where a car was, broke his leg in 16 places and shattered his heel, was not hit, and that was it. He has walked away from driving three cars into brick walls (all were totalled), and 8 car accidents, without a scratch each time, where they said no one should have survived. He had two natural bypasses with silent heart attacks, and had a massive heart attack 6 years ago, which they said he wouldn't survive--he ended up making it through a double bypass, and is living today, although they say they don't know how. He has his diabetes under better control now, but he had a sugar of over 500 for nearly 5 years. He took a bottle of sleeping pills once, a bottle of pain killers once, and a bottle of sedatives once (all separate times), and none of them killed him(different reasons each time). So, yes, I think he is beyond blessed and watched over :). I don't pretend to understand how it works here on Earth, how he suffers so much, but then survives all this. I hope I will, someday.