Can you indulge me in a "is this normal"?

[ByGrace3]

My 6 yo has been a .....challenge this year. Getting him to read has been difficult. He is dong amazingly well, but th amount of effort on both of our parts has been astronomical.

 

He really deals with distractibilty. I very much have the understanding that he is "all 6" and "all boy" but I just wonder what would be normal and want to be sure I'm not missing anything.

 

He still regularly misses/reverses letters in reading and writing b/d m/w c/g. When stopped he will always give me the correct answer.

 

He is very good at math, but does not have the focus to do anything on his own. We still do a lot orally and I scribe for him, I have been trying to transition him to doing more of his own writing and even working independently for a problem here and there, but it is often painstaking. He is VERY distractable.

 

He is extremely intelligent, reading and math are great. But, it often seems like pulling teeth to get him to focus, not necessarily the content if work. Handwriting can be great, but most of the time to get it great I have to erase it three times, which we both hate. He is doing great with spelling, WWE, and FLL.

 

He just can't be left alone for anything. I basically have to be here for every letter. (He can do a handwriting page alone finally' but honestly if I let him do it alone it isn't anywhere near the quality of output I desire.)

 

Is this indeed just a 6 yo boy (7 in April) thing or is there perhaps something more going on?

[FriedClams]

I'm no expert - but it sounds absolutely normal to me.

 

I want my kids to be hugely useful and independent adults - but at 6 I sat and did math with my kids. If I went to the bathroom (woth a 6 and 7 year old) my kids got distracted! I do algebra 1 and 1/2 every day with my kids, now at 11 and 12. I am their teacher, so I teach. I also encourage and cheer. I don't see teaching and mentoring alongside our kids as bad (though it is a contrast to the push for "indepence" often seen here on the boards).

 

I will say that working on attention span and follow through are good things to train. I'd have him do a chore - feed the dog - every day when you get up. Have him watch you, then help you, then you watch him, then he does it and you inspect. Then, "son, feed the Dog", and inspect.

 

For indepence, I'd start with one task at a time - "brush your teeth and come back to me". "What do you need to do?" (Have him repeat it back). Ok. Go. (Then have him report back). One task at a time. Build to 2. I ALWAYS have mine come back to me. We trained them to do this early for 2 reasons - no wanding off (aka slinking out of work ;-) ) and we always wanted them to come ask "is there anything else I can do?" before being dismissed from a task.

 

And as always - good food, limit junk, limit TV (teaches distractibility with constant scene shifts), fresh air, lots of exercise.

[Tanikit]

Yup, its normal - even for girls. My DD at 6 will not continue if I have to go and change the toddler or go to the bathroom - when I come back she has either got up and wandered off or is sitting there doing nothing. Handwriting requires me to check every letter she writes if I want it to my standards - she is capable of writing without me watching, but like with your son there is a decrease in quality then.

 

I agree - gradually increase what is expected, but at 6 you still have to be watching and checking all the way. (Even with clothes my DD has been dressing herself for years, but still comes out sometimes with clothes inside out or back to front) I think its all just part of being 6.

[tabinfl]

I don't know if it's "normal" but it sounds _exactly_ like my 6yo boy. It's doubly frustrating when not only his twin but even his 5yo sister are leaps and bounds ahead of him when it comes to focus and attention to detail.

 

Then again, I have to remind my 50-something husband at least three times of every calendar appointment and kid activity too. As much as I resist gender stereotypes, maybe there is something to "all boy." ;)

[Soror]

Sounds normal. He has an older sister rigbt? Often girls are ready to sit down and do school sooner than boys, so try not to compare.

 

 

 

[Woodland Mist Academy]

I had an active 6yo girl. Much of our work was done outside at that age. Even at 10 or 11 we did some assignments running around the living room.

 

In fact, I still need to remind her not to fidget and make noise with her chair during public lectures. It's not that she's not paying attention. She can find the topic interesting, be enthralled with the speaker,  and love the public discourse, but she isn't still about it. I know some adults who are the same way--including my dh. I sometimes need to make him aware that he is becoming distracting to others.

 

My daughter reversed letters for years. I was to the point of considering a consultation when she suddenly stopped.

 

There is no way she would have done work alone at 6. No way at all.

 

At 12, it's a different story. :)

[alisoncooks]

My oldest is still like that, and she's 7.5.  (Okay, okay, she actually is getting "better."  But she was JUST like that.)

[pitterpatter]

Sounds like my DD who is 6.5 in a lot of ways. (I will admit that I highly suspect she is gifted, but likely has ADHD and possibly dyslexia, though. I don't have a boy for comparison, so take that with a grain of salt.) I know you said you can't leave him alone. I thought that about DD at first too. But, are you maybe actually smothering him? I finally discovered that DD does a lot better with handwriting and math when I let her work independently. She makes it a game. She can be notoriously slow (when I'm hovering). I'll leave her for 5-10-15 minutes to work on a small household task. She tries to get her work done before I get back. Usually, just a section of something. I have her yell at me after each sentence or when she completes a section of math to be sure she's on track and hasn't missed a word in her sentence, etc. I give her lots of praise when it's due. The happier she is, the better she does. Sometimes, I'll tiptoe and check on her or say, "How's it going?" On occasion, she'll space off. Overall, she's more focus when she has a task to complete alone. If I'm sitting next to her I tend to nitpick and she uses me as a crutch.

 

Also, make sure he's getting enough sleep. And, you might try eliminating/reducing Red dye #40. DD's distraction level shoots through the roof when she's had something blatantly red. It's amazing really. I also wonder about curriculum choices. I haven't used WWE and FLL, but I don't think they would be a good fit for DD, who is very hands-on and sensory-oriented. She "thinks" she doesn't like writing, but is getting a lot better with that. (I spread it out so she doesn't realize how much writing she is actually doing.)

 

And yes, we totally struggle with this, although not exactly the same letters. It's b/d, e/i, blends with r...dr and tr are really challenging for her in AAS (e/i too). She knows the material forward and backward, but her brain misfires when reading and spelling a lot, I guess.

 

"He still regularly misses/reverses letters in reading and writing b/d m/w c/g. When stopped he will always give me the correct answer. "

 

My post may not be helpful at all in your case, just my experiences with my highly-distractable DD. Good luck...I know it's frustrating.

[Tiramisu]

I don't think reversals are worrisome unless they continue beyond 7 or 8, but the way you describe it, it sounds more like an attention issue. 

 

I also think what you describe sounds normal at this age. I'd only be concerned if there were a family history of ADHD, but even that wouldn't change how you would handle it now. 

 

You also say he's extremely intelligent, and you can run into that kind of behavior with gifted kids. 

[Amy M]

I have a 6-year old turning 7 in April, and I also wondered some things about him! I think he's a hard worker, and even so, he's distractible, reverses "b" and "d" or "p" and "q." I can leave him alone for some things, and he will scribe for himself with math, etc., but some of that I chalk up to using ABeka for K which was excessive in the handwriting department in both writing and math, and him being a pleaser and compliant. I can tell already with ds2, a young K-er turning 5 in April, that things will not be the same with him.

 

My ds1 turning 7 in April is sloppy with reading. If he concentrates and works hard, he does very well. But he tires quickly, and starts guessing or skipping/adding words. I'm not sure how to correct that. I know it's not "try a different phonics program" issue. We're using Abeka phonics and AAS for spelling; but I did wonder whether some of his issues were normal or not.

 

He also does not get the concept yet of holding an entire word in his head for dictation or copywork. He does it sometimes, but often makes mistakes.

[Farrar]

100% normal.

 

Doesn't mean there couldn't be something else going on, but not based on anything you described.

[chicagoshannon]

My dd will be 7 end of March and is a lot like that. She still reverses b/d at times but only for writing and usually catches herself now.

 

Everything else you've mentioned is just how she is. It's not an intelligence issue but a maturity issue.

[ByGrace3]

Thanks everyone. The thing is we very much expect if he were in school he would be labeled ADHD (my dh is a mental health counselor). Not for hyperactivity but for distractability and focus. Dh is absolutely insistent that my ds not carry a label and that we work with it the best we can especially with him being so young.

 

I need to do some restrictions I his diet and maybe try some natural stuff... But just not sure where to begin. It can be a little overwhelming.

 

I just wanted to be sure the academic aspects are normal even though I know his level of distractibility may not be...

[Chelli]

Thanks everyone. The thing is we very much expect if he were in school he would be labeled ADHD (my dh is a mental health counselor). Not for hyperactivity but for distractability and focus. Dh is absolutely insistent that my ds not carry a label and that we work with it the best we can especially with him being so young.

 

I need to do some restrictions I his diet and maybe try some natural stuff... But just not sure where to begin. It can be a little overwhelming.

 

I just wanted to be sure the academic aspects are normal even though I know his level of distractibility may not be...

 

 

In the public schools, at least the one I worked at, they didn't even start referring children to be tested for ADD or ADHD until they were 7 or 8 years old because the younger age kids are all pretty jumpy and distractable, so they probably wouldn't have labelled him yet.

 

I do think it sounds pretty normal. My ds is "supposed" to start pre-K with me this fall, but he's not interested in learning much of anything. He just wants to run and be outside all the time. We shall see how it works out, but that's the beauty of homeschooling is that you can work with your child instead of forcing them into a certain set of expectations. I can totally see my ds being just like your ds. He's just so different from his older sisters, not bad, just different.

[craftyerin]

Yep, describes my 5 and 6yo boys to a T.  My 6yo is dx ADHD, but my 5yo is definitely not, yet neither of them are anything other than squirrelly when it comes to school work. 

[SilverMoon]

I'll add a normal vote.

 

And I'd try adding intentional movement into his school time. My now furry teenager did K and first grade standing up. Literally. I had him stand at the table, or held a book or clipboard in my lap from a tall chair. We'd do stations around the house just to move around. Math in the kitchen, then run at top speed to a bedroom for some phonics, and back to the living room for some writing.

 

Large motor exercises done before school ever began helped a ton. We'd try dancing to a Wiggles episode if we were stuck indoors. (not a clue if there's anything like that show around anymore)

[Ms.Ivy]

Sounds like my boy last year. He just turned 8, just stopped reversing letters, amd can concentrate on work finally. Bit he will only sit still if he gets a TON of physical exercise in before he starts seat work. If it's productive physical labor, it's even better! The difference is amazing.

[FairProspects]

Thanks everyone. The thing is we very much expect if he were in school he would be labeled ADHD (my dh is a mental health counselor). Not for hyperactivity but for distractability and focus. Dh is absolutely insistent that my ds not carry a label and that we work with it the best we can especially with him being so young.

 

I need to do some restrictions I his diet and maybe try some natural stuff... But just not sure where to begin. It can be a little overwhelming.

 

I just wanted to be sure the academic aspects are normal even though I know his level of distractibility may not be...

 

Well geez, both of my boys would be labeled ADHD if they were in school despite both having professional evaluations where it was ruled out. But this says little about the kid and a lot about schools. Many young boys, especially bright ones, are highly distractible until around 11/12. You can't change brain development just because the school wants them to sit still for longer at a younger age.

[SeaConquest]

Another normal vote.

[PeterPan]

Thanks everyone. The thing is we very much expect if he were in school he would be labeled ADHD (my dh is a mental health counselor). Not for hyperactivity but for distractability and focus. Dh is absolutely insistent that my ds not carry a label and that we work with it the best we can especially with him being so young.

 

I need to do some restrictions I his diet and maybe try some natural stuff... But just not sure where to begin. It can be a little overwhelming.

 

I just wanted to be sure the academic aspects are normal even though I know his level of distractibility may not be...

 

 

Well geez, both of my boys would be labeled ADHD if they were in school despite both having professional evaluations where it was ruled out. But this says little about the kid and a lot about schools. Many young boys, especially bright ones, are highly distractible until around 11/12. You can't change brain development just because the school wants them to sit still for longer at a younger age.

Ok, I'll be the one lone dissenter.   :D  And yes I know that my boy is younger than most other people's here.  I worked in K5 and 1st all through college and have seen plenty of kids to see what's typical of the age. I don't think you can do a statistical poll of the boards and conclude much, because the mothers here homeschooling are a self-selected pool.  I think SN may tend to run *higher* in the homeschooling community, simply because families self-select to correct situations that were not handled well in school, either for the kids or the parents.  I also totally agree that ps evaluation via the EF surveys and teacher opinions alone can lead to radical over diagnosis.  I also acknowledge that there's a range of development.  I was told that except in severe cases the psych wouldn't typically want to diagnose even before 7, because it's impossible to tell.  I also agree that adhd is NOT a behavioral disorder and that kids can be indistinguishable or have such structured training that you would NEVER look at them and say adhd.  So we grant all that.

 

So then for what I disagree with.   :)  You mentioned that your dh works in mental health and thinks that in fact he would get a label.  Would he get a label through a psych with thorough testing or just from a teacher filled out form for the ped?  I would never accept the latter, but I think it's very telling if he thinks the former is the case.  I also think that you, just as I read your comments, seem to be feeling some extremity.  I also notice that you have what is inherently a very distracting situation that can cause very unrealistic expectations.  Having an older girl is both a distraction and a HUGE SKEW for what is normal.  Then add the 3rd dc, and I can't even imagine how you get anything done.   :lol:   I have two, and I have to keep them on separate floors!   :D  It's also NOT realistic for many/most kids to be expected to sit down and plunk through work independently, something you seem frustrated he's not doing.  There have been some really ambitious homeschooling books from pioneers in the early days who made it sound like that would happen, and we get very unrealistic when our kids don't match that.  

 

Back to the dh.  I think as the teaching mother you need to realize that by forgoing evals, at an appropriate time and WHEN WARRANTED, you LOSE THE INFORMATION you would have gotten.  I would be very cautious about your dh's perspective.  He has where he's coming from, but you need to be able to teach.  IF in fact the dc has adhd (which no one here can tell, it's not stamped on their foreheads and we're not in your house), then by passing up evals you are passing up the VALUABLE INFORMATION on how to work with him.  

 

Next, FP mentioned that her dc didn't get adhd labels, but they did get dyslexia labels (yes?), which are kissing cousins.  In fact, they're so close that they used to be lumped together as minimal brain dysfunction in the 80s.  So you get adhd kids with what look like dyslexia lite symptoms and dyslexia labeled kids with what look like adhd lite symptoms.  Hmm, imagine that.  Love the DSM.  

 

Like your dh, I'm no great lover of the DSM.  I go back to my point though that he's not considering, which is the evals give you as the teacher INFORMATION on how to work with him.  It's not about the label.  Pay privately, go to someone known for giving helpful feedback, and you'll get WAY more than just a label.  You'll learn how they think and process.  For instance, these kids can have issues with processing speed and EF.  You have no clue what his processing speed is, but I guarantee you as a teacher you're bumping against it every day.  EF and working memory are things you can work on that can make a HUGE difference in how he functions.  You can do metronome work for free using the instructions on the LC board or pursue neurofeedback.  As long as you don't do meds and pay privately for your evals, it's totally your business what you do with the labels.

 

I'm not saying he's adhd.  I'm saying you are saying he's adhd and that you don't realize as a teacher how helpful good evals can be.  You may need to stand up to your dh and say that you as the teacher need that information.

 

I'm not crazy for diet changes, but then we already eat pretty clean.  Make sure he's taking something for omega 3 daily.  Check for sleep apnea and mouth breathing.  Check for allergies.  LC is a good place to ask about this.

 

It's not a crime to wait on evals and plow forward making changes appropriate to adhd.  Please, whoever is about to jump down my throat, please notice I did just say she could WAIT on evals, even if she thinks he's adhd.   :)  Changes you can make?  

 

-structure

-limited distractions

-working with their body's need for movement and doing

-materials that work with their best modalities.  (my ds is kinesthetic, my dd is very visual)

-materials that take advantage of their VSL abilities

-free time and opportunities that take advantage of their unusual spatial abilities and creativeness

-extra attention to fluency in things that typically take longer to gel (math facts, spelling, handwriting, etc.)

 

To me it's more of a POSITIVE THING, because realizing the label makes you realize the STRENGTHS that go with it.  If it's actually going on (which seems to be what you think), he should have some astounding POSITIVE abilities. Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World: Unlocking the Potential of Your ADD Child  Sometimes people are very negative about labels because they themselves had some kind of bad experience with them.  I think you have to realize this can skew their advice.  It's not about the label.  You as the teacher need information on how to teach him better.  When my dd got evals, we learned all kinds of things I never anticipated, and it radically changed how I worked with her.  

 

Btw, we did our evals later, when she was 12.  We waited too long.  My two cents would be to do them when you need them.  When you realize you've done what you can and you need more information to teach him better, then you ask for help.  I hope that sounds really sane to people.  YOU are the one saying he's adhd, and I'm saying, no matter how bright he is, at some point, if he is, you're probably going to hit a wall and want some help.  When you want that help, don't be afraid to get it. 

 

Resources that will be helpful to you whether he's NT or SN?  

 

-Heathermomster's Interactive Metronome thread on LC

-Bright Not Broken: Gifted Kids, ADHD, and Autism

-Superparenting for ADD: An Innovative Approach to Raising Your Distracted Child

 

And now I suppose I need to don my flameproof suit, something I try not to need on the boards.   :coolgleamA: 

[ErinE]

In my view, normal. My dd at 6 couldn't be left alone to do anything. This year, age 7, she can fill in her spelling workbook independently and work on her math with me sitting next to her. Everything else is done with me. DS could work independently on some subjects like math (after a lesson) when he was 8/9.

[robsiew]

Sounds normal... you just described my 8 y/o boy!  :laugh:   It gets better!  My 10 y/o boy is still distractable but can get more done and my 13 y/o is the same with getting more done.... it takes a lot of energy for these boys to sit and concentrate on anything other than video games!

[RootAnn]

I agree 'completely normal' (and fit my dd#1 when she was that age, too). But I also agree with looking into dietary changes to 'help' the normal tone down a bit. And I agree with OhE's "get evals when you need them" which might not be for several years. You'll know when you have hit a wall that dietary changes, distraction removal, and severe jumping-jacks on both of your parts don't help. 

 

:grouphug:  It does seem overwhelming with diet. Pick ONE thing & change it. (And maybe that's red dye.) Wait awhile until it isn't hard to remember/include. Then, pick one more thing. Repeat.

[mamamindy]

This sounds A LOT like my DD6 (7 in Aug) and I think I even remember posting something about her when she was a fresh 6yo because she's just so different than my ODD.  (I also try my hardest not to compare.)  Give it 6mos-1year and you'll see a lot of maturity, I think.   

[Heathermomster]

If you are worried, maybe look at the Feingold or another elimination type diet, explore supplements with omega 3s, and select curricula that harness a more visual/hands-on/experiential type learning.  Some children really need to move to learn.

 

I don't understand this whole fear of the ADHD label thing.  Just supposing your child was diagnosed ADHD,  Who is going to know unless you tell them and who cares?  It's an organic brain issue, and there are many healthy ways to handle the situation.  

[Farrar]

Honestly, from what you're describing about the distractability, that doesn't seem that unusual for this age either. Just because he would be labeled in school doesn't mean he has ADHD, it means schools and doctors are massively overdiagnosing it.

[texasmama]

Sounds within the norm to me.  :)

[kbutton]

If you are asking the question, you are more than likely concerned about something. Sometimes the difference between neurotypical and diagnosable is frequency, duration, intensity, and how much it affects life in general, not just the specific symptoms. Take notes and get an evaluation, or take notes and wait to see if you want one later. It's not hard to note behavior from time to time, and if you need an evaluation later, you'll be SO GLAD you had notes.

[NASDAQ]

Normal for right now. Not normal if it persists to eight or so.

[lots of little ducklings]

Sounds just like my DS6; he's so highly distractable, even his own thoughts get in the way of schoolwork. Today he had an "on" day with reading...slow, but steady and focused. But if it's an "off" day he can't get through a single sentence w/o mulling over some "deep" thought in his head (why does that little boy in the picture look sad? Do horses really like carrots? Will daddy build me a treehouse like the one in this story? Why did God make bad guys?) Only, he doesn't vocalize these thoughts unless I ask him. His eyes just start drifting and I have to call him back, at which point he has no idea where he should be on the page.

 

He's really just very much my absent-minded professor.

 

When he's on task, he's great; when he's thinking about how he's going to build a space shuttle in the snowy backyard with nothing but duct tape and a log, it's a lost cause. He'll forget his boots as he walks out into the snow, he'll forget how to sound out the word "the", he'll suddenly have major tracking issues as he reads, or (worst of all) he'll forget he's supposed to be aiming, and miss the potty entirely.

 

We actually have rules like, "think only about peeing when you're using the potty! " and "no questions about a book until we get to the end!"

And we work only one-on-one. No sibs present.

 

Is he normal? No idea. But testing has revealed nothing but mild sensory processing disorder, and my sister insists he is just fine and reminds her of her own boys. :-) So I doubt that helps you, but in any case this thread has been somewhat of an encouragement to me.

[pitterpatter]

Society stigmatizes. Also, the military used to not accept anyone who was diagnosed. They've softened their standards, but it's up to the medical screening doctor to who gets in. Something to think about. I wouldn't be surprised, if they still don't let those with ADHD into the academies. Not sure about ROTC.

 

 

If you are worried, maybe look at the Feingold or another elimination type diet, explore supplements with omega 3s, and select curricula that harness a more visual/hands-on/experiential type learning.  Some children really need to move to learn.

 

I don't understand this whole fear of the ADHD label thing.  Just supposing your child was diagnosed ADHD,  Who is going to know unless you tell them and who cares?  It's an organic brain issue, and there are many healthy ways to handle the situation.  

 

[Heathermomster]

Society stigmatizes. Also, the military used to not accept anyone who was diagnosed. They've softened their standards, but it's up to the medical screening doctor to who gets in. Something to think about. I wouldn't be surprised, if they still don't let those with ADHD into the academies. Not sure about ROTC.

Thank-you...I don't see how your comments are relevant to a kinder aged student, but whatever..

 

Nasdaq's comment was perfect. OP, you can try diet modification, supplements, curricula modification, or just wait and see.

[Woodland Mist Academy]

 Sometimes the difference between neurotypical and diagnosable is frequency, duration, intensity, and how much it affects life in general, not just the specific symptoms.

 

This holds true in many areas. Excellent point.

[pitterpatter]

Yikes...sorry! You said you didn't understand all of the hoopla about labeling. A kindergartner eventually grows into an adult. A diagnoses cannot be undone. Once you get it, it's yours. Even a misdiagnoses is hard to get rid of. Just saying it might be better to wait for a diagnoses until one is sure and at an older age. I aspired to attend the Air Force Academy during Jr. High and High School. In the end, I didn't join up. But, it was a big deal to me for a lot of years.

 

We struggle with the whole label thing for my DD as well. 

 

 

Thank-you...I don't see how your comments are relevant to a kinder aged student, but whatever..

Nasdaq's comment was perfect. OP, you can try diet modification, supplements, curricula modification, or just wait and see.

 

[RootAnn]

I forgot all about the 'erasing 3 times' thing. I meant to comment on that. 

 

When I have my kids practice handwriting (esp. individual letters when they are first learrning), I watch as they write the letter (after talking through it, tracing it with our finger, doing large-motor activities to practice it, and tracing it with a finger in a saltbox (ours is a sugarbox, :coolgleamA:). When they are done with that ONE letter, we talk about what was good about it (it touched the baseline - YEAH!) and what could be improved (not closed at the top of a loop or looks squished). Then, they sometimes write it again - trying to make it better. The maximum times we write the one letter on paper with a pencil in one sitting is three times. At the end, I have them pick the one they thought was the best & circle it. If they made it 'just right' the first time, I don't have them write it again that day. (Reward for doing it right the first time.)

 

Anyway, just some ideas on the handwriting.

[Farrar]

I think the vast majority of the time, getting a label is very useful and positive and necessary for moving forward because it helps you understand what you're dealing with.

 

I don't necessarily feel that's always the case with ADHD, because it has become such a massively overdiagnosed, nebulous, overmedicated label.

[wapiti]

About labels and ADHD generally, I'd worry more about finding out what's really going on via a proper evaluation (an eval doesn't necessarily need to lead to an official DSM diagnosis).  ADHD should be a diagnosis of exclusion, that is, a whole bunch of other issues with overlapping symptoms have been ruled out first.  It's ruling out all that other stuff that would most interest me with regard to getting a proper eval (I mean an eval with an experienced psych, not a ped).  The detailed results of testing can be very informative and useful in your schooling and they don't have to lead to the label.

 

As for the OP, sounds normal to me... I'd wait a bit and see how things go.  If your mommy-intuition tells you there's something going on, then for sure I'd look into it.

[PeterPan]

Society stigmatizes. Also, the military used to not accept anyone who was diagnosed. They've softened their standards, but it's up to the medical screening doctor to who gets in. Something to think about. I wouldn't be surprised, if they still don't let those with ADHD into the academies. Not sure about ROTC.

Haven't researched it myself, but we had someone else here on the boards saying her dh was in the military (I forget how, maybe JAG?) and had to go off meds for his adhd.  Maybe things changed?  

 

Again, my two cents is to pay privately, consider it academic evaluation, and do what you jolly well wish with the info.  

[Heathermomster]

Yikes...sorry! You said you didn't understand all of the hoopla about labeling. A kindergartner eventually grows into an adult. A diagnoses cannot be undone. Once you get it, it's yours. Even a misdiagnoses is hard to get rid of. Just saying it might be better to wait for a diagnoses until one is sure and at an older age. I aspired to attend the Air Force Academy during Jr. High and High School. In the end, I didn't join up. But, it was a big deal to me for a lot of years.

 

We struggle with the whole label thing for my DD as well.

Ok, I get the whole you can't enter a service academy business or enlist without meeting certain requirements...

 

Do you homeschool? What I can't understand is how a label and homeschooling would be a problem?

 

My DS has several labels, and it is not a problem. No one knows unless I tell them. DS doesn't even self-identify with his learning style. He is a normal kid doing normal things.

[PeterPan]

Btw, does it occur to no one that if the military excludes adhd there might be a REASON and that it might be for the BEST?!?!  I mean, mercy, I'm never going to be an Olympic ice skater, now matter how much I'm on the rink.  We're not all destined to be everything.  There are enough issues that go with adhd that the military probably has justifiable reason for screening.  There's no way in the world someone with unusually low processing speed (which many of these kids will have) is ready to go into the military and make fast responses to dangerous situations.  The stats are they'll have more driving accidents, etc. etc.  The problem is not the label.  The issue is accepting yourself and seeing yourself in a positive way.

 

I had a friend in high school who thought her adhd label ruined her, and she blamed everything that went wrong, every door that closed, on the adhd.  I thought it was PATHETIC.  Somehow her parents unintentionally let the communicated result be *you're defective* rather than *you're different in an awesome way*.  Those are two different things.

 

I don't give a flip if doors close to my dc because of their labels.  I wouldn't want them somewhere they don't belong, and there are plenty of places that DO want them and WILL benefit from what they have to give.  Now if doors close because of DISCRIMINATION, that I'm really picky about.  That I would get irate over and contest and fight with all my might.  But simply because the org has statistical reason to think that physical issue will cause problems?  Of course we accept that and move on.  And I do think about this.  My ds spends all day every day thinking about weapons.  He'd  love to be a sniper, hehe...  

[Farrar]

Btw, does it occur to no one that if the military excludes adhd there might be a REASON and that it might be for the BEST?!?!  

 

I have no idea if the military does exclude ADHD candidates or not, but if they do it seems completely unjustified based on everything I know about what jobs are good for adults with ADHD.  When I was teaching at a school with a high number of kids who had ADHD, we once had the county fire department come and do a talk and most of it was about how many firefighters have ADHD and why jobs like firefighters and policemen are great jobs to consider if you have ADHD.  Many military jobs seem to cater to some of the exact same needs - namely, the ability to really hyper focus under pressure, but also to wait through periods of lower pressure, and the need for a very clear chain of command and set of procedures to follow.

 

Like I said before, in general I'm a fan of quality testing.  I've certainly seen the benefits of how a really good eval can help a kid.  But this particular label is one I've come to feel wary about, especially before a child is a little older than the OP's.

[boscopup]

My middle son is 7 and fidgety like that, and he's progressing well but takes a LOT of work. He's probably not completely normal, but we're working with him and making good academic progress.

 

My oldest at age 6 did require me to sit at elbow for everything. He's become nicely independent at age 9. He also still has letter reversals in writing, but no other symptoms of anything nefarious, so I haven't worried about it.

 

Extremely intelligent people are often extremely distractable... at least most that I know are. :D My sister knits during meetings at work, saying it's like ritalin for her hands and keeps her mind just busy enough to not wander off while still paying attention to what is going on. She's incredibly intelligent.

 

[cintinative]

I am not the OP on this thread but I just wanted to thank everyone who posted. Some days I really struggle with DS6 and his attention span. Hearing all your stories has encouraged me during a difficult week. Thank you.

[ByGrace3]

This thread has been amazingly helpful. Sorry I have not been as involved as I would like it has been a crazy week and even now I am replying from a tent as we are camping :)

 

As far as the label goes-- while we are convinced he would be labeled ADHD, we are not certain he actually is. It certainly is over diagnosed. Just because he possesses almost every item on the checklist....we believe a lot of it has to do with age and gender. Now in a year or two if he does not see any improvement or before that if we hit any kind of walls that affect learning...we certainly would consider evaluations. Up to this point we have wanted to give him room to mature.

 

He has always been sensitive to certain foods-- I could not have caffein or chocolate the entire pregnancy and while nursing. He had reflux and was just a high needs baby. I certainly could see how it could be a food thing...

 

I know part of it is age but I'm not sure it all is...

 

Everyone has been super helpful. Thank you!!!

[Heathermomster]

Best wishes, OP.

 

If you decide to test at a later date, call around and speak with parents that you trust. You want a respected, eminently qualified professional. We were fortunate to locate and hire a highly regarded, PhD neuropsychologist from our local area. We never sought or imagined labels. Our earnest desire was to help our child.

 

Maybe start setting some money aside now. If your child should require testing, you are going to want a full assessment and testing is expensive. What looks like ADHD/ADD may actually be low processing speed, working memory issues, and/or giftedness.

[trulycrabby]

My son is quite bright and quite distractible, so we use shorter work sessions and school year-round. He struggled with reading ages 5-6, then his reading light switched on and he was suddenly a very fluent reader within a month or two. By "reading light," I mean that his brain just was not ready to learn to read, but when it was ready, he acquired the ability very quickly. I have a feeling something very similar will happen with your son. :)

[MerryAtHope]

I need to do some restrictions I his diet and maybe try some natural stuff... But just not sure where to begin. It can be a little overwhelming.

 

 

Some simple places to begin:

 

Diet--read labels and cut out food dyes. As much as possible, eliminate "foods" with ingredients you can't pronounce. Eat as many "real foods" (perishable) as possible. If it can live on a shelf for years...it's probably not the best thing for you!

 

Here's a list of 10 things from an article on ADDitude Magazine (online). We do items 1-5 (would do omegas, that's in just about every recommendation for ADHD that you can read! but we don't tolerate them well) (also, suggestions for brands were in the article, not mine):

 

1, protein at every meal

2, Balanced meals:  ½ plate fruit and veg, ¼ protein, ¼ carbohydrate with fiber

3, multi-vitamin & mineral

4, B Vitamins—improves IQ by 16 points for those low in B (Bio-Strath from Vitacost used in many studies)

5, Zinc, Iron, Magnesium.  84% of kids w/ADHD have low iron.  Zinc-inattention.  Magnesium-calming

6, Omega 3’s (Omegabrite, Zone Labs, Nordic Naturals)

7, Picamilon?  Smart Nutrition & 1As.

8, Ginkgo & Ginseng  Hsu’s Ginseng.  Ginkoba & Gingold Most effective

9, Pycnogenol—improvement after 1 month

10, Rodiola Rosea (Strong)

 

Exercise. Every day, at least 30 minutes, preferably 60. Let him run around & get tired, outside if possible. It's nasty out here, but when it's nice, know that nature and green are very important for kids. A lot of kids who struggle with focus will focus much better with exercise, and with time spent in grass, around trees, etc... 

 

Structure--have some kind of predictable routine. Doesn't have to be a strict schedule or by the clock, but a general order to the day. I also find workboxes very helpful--each subject is seen by itself, instead of a stack that might seem to never end where all the tasks seem to blur together.

 

Plan on the things you are doing. In other words...instead of wishing he was independent, plan on him not being that way this year, and probably not much next either. Instead of that frustrating you, just expect it. You'll be so much happier (I know from experience, LOL!) Just shut that picture of kids at desks in PS 1st grade working alone out of your mind--you homeschool for this kind of freedom, your son needs it, embrace it. Cuddle on the couch while you do math--it will be more fun. Math will go faster if you sit with him. He won't be nearly as distracted, he won't accidentally skip problems, and he'll get done faster. Scribe for him. It's ok. He can work on handwriting during handwriting time. Next year, take turns to help him start to transition to some of his own writing. When he's 8, transition to more on his own, and so on. 

 

Use different things instead of pencil and paper. That workbook doesn't have to be filled out. He can write on a white board or in sidewalk chalk outside. He can write with a finger in sand or cornmeal or a baggie filled with shaving cream. He can build the problems with manipulatives and tell you the answer instead of writing it. And so on. Think outside the box, treasure his uniqueness. Here's some ideas for reversals.

 

Short bursts--Do things in short, 10-20 minute bursts of focused attention. Longer sessions lead to lagging attention, things not learned as well, etc...

 

Play--When my dd was in 1st grade, I let her just play with manipulatives every other day for math. Counting Bears, Cuisenaire Rods, Base 10 Blocks, Pattern Blocks, those geoboards with the rubber bands etc...  The other days we did a workbook together. All that play gave her strong conceptual knowledge, even though none of it was directed. 

 

HTH some! Merry :-)

[Soror]

My son just received an official diagnosis of ADHD from a Pediatric Neuropsychologist. I knew that he had attention and hyperactivity issues pretty much since he was born but those were just something we worked around. The reason I took him to testing was due to difficulties he had with his memory and fluency. Little did I know that the attention and hyperactivity part of adhd are really just a very small part of ADHD, those things are easy enough to accommodate at home, well not easy but you can manage. However, what is much harder is the executive functioning and working memory deficits. Because my son now has an official diagnosis my son will qualify for accommodations in testing and college, accommodations that he will need. The adhd brain isn't just inattentive the maturation is delayed and working memory is usually weak, which has all kinds of implications for school and success. Yes, it is overdiagnosed but not diagnosing someone who does indeed have it can be harmful as well. Those accommodations cannot be had without an official diagnosis and without it the playing field will never be level for those that have ADHD. So, I would strongly encourage you to keep an eye on your son and educate yourself more about ADHD. We had huge behavioral changes from diet, Feingold and gluten free, but he still has memory and EF issues.