What would you do? Need advice

[Home'scool]

Here are the facts of the "case"

 

- My daughter is a sophomore in college and shares a dorm room with one other girl. One day when my daughter is not in her dorm room her roommate has a friend over. The roommate's friend trips over an extension cord and knocks into my daughter's desk. My daughter had left her laptop on her desk, charging, with the cover open. A cup of water that was on my daughter's desk spills onto my daughter's laptop and fries it.

 

- The friend feels terrible about it. My daughter does not have a car so the friend drives my daughter to the closest Apple store to get it fixed (about 30 minutes away). It costs $800 to fix it. My husband and I cover the cost of the repair because being without her computer while at school is not a viable option.

 

- The friend all along offers to pay for the cost of fixing it. She says she will pay her from her next work paycheck.

 

- The delays and excuses start. First she doesn't get paid when she is supposed to. Then when she does get paid it is way less than it was supposed to be blah blah blah. The excuses keep coming. My daughter has to constantly chase her down for information because the friend never follows up.

 

- It is now three months later. The friend is now saying that neither she nor her parents have the $800 to pay for the computer. The friend says her mother has told her it was my daughter's fault for having a cup of water on her desk, for having an extension cord lying around, etc.

 

- The latest offer from them is for $400. The friend texted my daughter saying they could pay with a money order but not all at once.

 

Here is my quandary. I am getting the impression that coming up with the money is hard for this girl and/or her parents. The fact that even $400 would have to be paid in installments makes me think this might be the case. My husband and I, although we certainly don't have $800 growing on trees in the backyard, are able to pay the expense without any undue strain.

 

Should we just split the cost and accept the $400? My husband is mad because they have strung us along for so long AND the mother is trying to put half of the blame on my daughter.

 

Does my daughter share some of the blame?

 

 

[gingersmom]

It was an accident. While it would be nice to have another person split the cost I don't see how they are responsible. 

 

And having an open glass of liquid on your desk with your computer is a huge no no. 

 

My daughter spilled hot chocolate that splashed on her open laptop and it died. Thankfully it was still under warranty. We are now vigilant about no liquids being near computer. 

[Tap]

Yes, take the $400 and be thankful they are willing to help at all.

 

You may not like my answer, but here it goes: 

 

Yes, DD was partially at fault. DD shouldn't have water around expensive electronics because accidents happen and the person with the electronic device always loses.  DD wasn't there, but it is a shared space, not a private one.  DD shouldn't have left water out, especially in a shared space. She should have put it away when she left.  DD shouldn't have left her laptop open; it is more vulnerable when open and prone to having things fall on it.  DD shouldn't have left a power cord out where someone could trip on it.  

 

 

If anything, I think your daughter is more than 1/2 responsible,  I think she is 100% responsible. .  She caused the trip, and left her laptop open, and left out the water. 

 

 

 

[MysteryJen]

I guess that I would put this under the category of unfortunate accident. The laptop  was left open, with a cup of water by it. If I had done that, I would be mad at myself and taken responsibility for it. 

 

It was nice of the friend to offer, but I think (especially if money is a real object for her) that your daughter should just say lesson learned and to be more careful next time.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

AMDG

 

My husband would put the responsibility squarely on the shoilders of our daughter in that situation. His feeling on the matter is that there should never be a cup of anything liquid near the computer and that when not in use it should be put away in such a way that a bump on a desk (i.e.: life) shouldn't be able to create a catastrophe.

 

ETA: actually, the more I think abt it, the more I feel it's on the daughter, also.

 

Sorry.

[Alessandra]

I am sorry for what happened. But I think it is your dd's responsibility. One reason I say this is because she left the cover open and a glass of water nearby. In our family, at least, both of those are forbidden. (When we first got a laptop, I would confiscate it if it was left open, etc.).

 

Another contributing factor is that your dd has a Mac, and Macs are expensive compared to other computers.

 

What are the rules on your dd's dorm about extension cords? Would your dd be allowed to have a surge protector near enough her desk that no cords would be in the way?

 

Btw, it sounds as though your dd has a kind roommate - I would be wary about jeopardizing a good relationship. And you and your dd sound kind too - some people would blame and demand money without a second thought.

[Vida Winter]

I'd drop it and forget about recovering money from the roommate. It was an accident and they aren't likely to pay, probably because they aren't able to.

[Plink]

Another vote for not accepting money from the roommate. It was nice of her to offer, and unfortunate that she dawdled, but really, she was not to blame in the first place. Accidents happen.

[Home'scool]

Thank you for all your perspectives! Just to be clear it was not my daughter's extension cord, it was her roommates. And they were using the cord for a hair straightener and walking around with it which pulled the cord around the room, etc.

 

But I agree, having a cup of water near the computer is just inviting a problem. She now knows not to leave the computer open and exposed when she is not using it. Live and learn I guess!

 

[gardenmom5]

whose extension cord was it?  that's the only thing that could get shared-fault.  the water "should have been" safe on the desk.  the computer "Should have been" safe with the lid open.  (should have beens often do not have any bearing on real world circumstances.  it would have been prudent to have not had the water, or shut the lid, but that doesn't mean the damage to her computer because of those things is her fault.

 

the extension cord that originally tripped the girl - who did it belong to? and was it across a traffic lane? (or somewhere one could reasonably expect someone to walk.)

 

whether the family can afford it or not is irrelevant (I've seen similar from people who could easily drop a check for that.) to whether you are likely to collect the whole thing.

 

if the extension cord was your daughter's and was where someone would expect to walk free of obstacles (and was a hazard), yes, just split the difference and call it good (have an agreed upon amount they will pay weekly, and hold them to that.)

[gardenmom5]

the roommate and her friend were using the extension cord for a hair straightener, dragging it around the room?   then let the roommate chip in.  you and your daughter shouldn't have to pay any of it.

[Lara in Colo]

I think that it should be shared responsibility.  You daughter will learn to "look into the future" and anticipate the worst and the friend will learn to be more careful around others things (and hopefully learn to anticipate the worst also).

 

This is a  simple case of being young and not having the skill (that comes from past disasters) of anticipating future outcomes.

[zoobie]

It's an accident. Unless the other girl intentionally poured water onto the computer, the risk is squarely on the owner of the item. It's nice/ethical to offer to help with repair cost. I would buy an insurance plan on my daughter's computer and let her work it out with her friends. I would not be involved with that at all with an adult child.

[AmandaVT]

I did something very similar a couple of months ago to my macbook and managed to save it. Just in case this happens again (or to someone else on this board) here's what worked. 

 

As soon as the computer flashed off, I pulled the power cord and flipped it upside down immediately, so the keyboard was on a kitchen towel. The screen was hanging off the counter. Then I didn't touch it for 48 hrs until it had dried out completely. I changed the towel a couple of times. I had managed to knock an entire can of seltzer on my keyboard, so it was a lot of liquid. 

 

It turned back on and has been working fine since. That was over 6 months ago. 

[catz]

I would have never agreed to accept the the entire cost from the girl in the first place. Especially if there was a poorly placed extension cord and a glass of water involved. A huge house rule here is no unattended glasses with liquid are allowed anywhere, and ESPECIALLY near electronics. We have 2 cats, which make it extra important. If my kids want water outside the kitchen, they generally put it in a water bottle. The cover of the laptop here is always placed down unless someone is using it. So this being a clear cut case of being one person's fault seems unreasonable to me. I would be fuming at my own kid if they left an open glass of water near a laptop with the cover up in a dorm room where others were coming and going. My own kid might be working it off. If she had packed it up and carried it to class or put it away in a drawer, there would have been no issue either. It's nice of them to offer to pay, but I certainly wouldn't expect it and I think I would just drop it with them at this point.

[idnib]

I would let it go and kindly free the friend from the obligation.

[creekland]

A thought for another time is to have school year insurance.  We have policies for our guys and there is only a $25 deductible.  We pay $70 something per year.  Accidents like this (or theft, etc), are covered and you'd only be out the $25 (+ cost of insurance).  People I know who have had claims tell me the process is easy when the "event" is clear.

[swellmomma]

It was an accident.  AN accident that like most accidents could have been prevented by closing the laptop, not having drinks on the desk and/or not leaving extension cords across the floor.  While it would have been nice for this girl to contribute to the cost in reality she is not to blame for an accident.  And while I do not believe in assigning blame for accidents, for lack of a better word I will say that I actually hold your dd more responsible for what happened to the laptop because she could have prevented the accident from ever occuring in the first place if she took better care of her own belongings.  This was not a malicious act of the room mate, nor a negligent one on the room mate's part, and chasing her down for 3 months etc really is going to be creating a big strain between the 2 of them and another 4-5 months of school to go for the year.  In this case I believe your dd to be the negligent party and fully responsible for damages that occured.

[Rachel TX]

It was an accident so no one is to blame, and it's the owner's responsibility to cover the costs of repairs to property (this is what insurance is for). I am sure the friend meant well when she offered to pay, and it's frustrating to be strung along (I know from experience), but I bet $800 is a huge burden that she isn't able to pay. 

 

When I was in a similar situation it was better for me to accept the losses instead of dealing with the stress and emotional fatigue of trying to be paid money a friend owed me.

 

"I'll replace that for you" is considerate to say when it's something small like a shirt or a dish. Expecting a college student to pay almost the full cost for an Apple computer is not reasonable.

[Annie G]

It was an accident, as opposed to a malicious act. I think the fault primarily lies with the friend who tripped, not your daughter.  If the glass of water had not been there, and instead the girl had knocked the closed computer off the desk, would anyone still think it was your dd's fault? The water being there was dd's doing but the visiting girl is the one who tripped and knocked it over. 

 

 

Having said that, an accident is just that- an accident- and it's reasonable for you to absorb the cost.  ( I don't feel the same way about a car accident, but that's a whole different thing)   I would be more interested in the friend saying sorry than I would be about the money. Accidents happen. 

 

Someone upthread mentioned insurance with a low deductible for college students' belongings- I wonder where I can get that?!  Dd lives in a college owned house with 11 other girls....talk about needing insurance!!!

 

 

 

 

[AK_Mom4]

Yup.  Let it go.  Accidents happen.  The laptop is repaired and the lesson is learned.

 

[J-rap]

I think if the roommate or friend of the roommate is offering to pay half, that's great!  I would never have expected more than that.  A similar situation happened to my daughter's laptop a couple years ago.  It was under her chair at school in a backpack (where they are supposed to keep their belongings), and during a break and the students were up walking around, another girl was goofing off dancing, fell into my daughter's chair knocking it over, and fell on top of her backpack breaking her laptop screen.  I can't remember what it cost to fix it, but knowing that accidents happen and most students don't have a lot of money, the girls split the cost 50/50.

[creekland]

 

Someone upthread mentioned insurance with a low deductible for college students' belongings- I wonder where I can get that?!  Dd lives in a college owned house with 11 other girls....talk about needing insurance!!!

 

This is the company we go with (recommended by others who have gone before us, including some who had claims - many times for computers.  ;)  )

 

http://www.nssi.com/

 

[kroe1]

My vote is on not taking any money from roommate for reasons stated above including your own posts.

 

I am shocked that a new Apple replacement laptop would not be cheaper than $800. I guess I am behind in what a new laptop costs.

[Lolly]

Yep, an accident in the complete sense of the word with no one really at fault. A glass of water on a desk is acceptable to me. We all know you aren't supposed to have any liquids around electronics, but face it--it is a fact of the times that it will be done. (Especially in a tiny dorm room with two occupants!) A computer charger on a desk: acceptable. An extension chord out to use a hair thingie: acceptable. They all getting tied up in a catastrophe: accident. It would have been nice if friend could come up with half the money, but since she can't I would definitely just let it go with no hard feelings.

[Chris in VA]

I'd let it go. 

 

Just FWIW, it reminds me of when I worked in a law office and was often asked to hear someone's case (personal injury) to see what an "average person" would do in the Assigning Blame dept. One case involved a man who, while driving, was hit by a car that ran a red light. He was really hurt. You would think it wouldn't be his fault at all, but he had been drinking and wasn't wearing his seat belt.  Those facts swayed some people into thinking his accident wouldn't have been as bad if he had been sober and belted in. So, even though he was just sitting in his car, and was hit by someone doing something WRONG, he didn't win his PI case. They blamed him for his injuries. 

 

Interesting, huh? 

 

So to me, it's kinda like your dd's situation, without the "ran the red light" intentionality part, because tripping was unintentional. 

 

 

(BTW, some posters said it might impact the roommate relations--it's not the roommate who spilled the water, it's the roommate's friend, so I don't see how having that friend pay some or all of it would harm the relationship.)

 

 

[RanchGirl]

Since the person who tripped and spilled the water was also the person using the extension cord, I would say 50/50 fault is reasonable.  I would graciously accept the 50% they are offering to pay.

 

Realistically, you may never see it..

[marbel]

The way I was raised, and the way I am trying to raise my kids:  you value your things more than anyone else will.  So, if something is important to you, you need to take care of it and not expect others to take the same level of care.  We started talking this way when they were little and had playdates at which beloved toys were damaged.  This is particularly important in shared living space.  So, I would not expect any financial help from the friend. 

 

I learned the lesson the hard way myself once.  I have a pair of antique chairs  that I failed to put away before a party.  A rather large gentleman was sitting in one of the chair, tipping back on two legs, and sure enough it broke.  I would have liked him to offer to pay for the repair (or at least apologize), but really it was my fault for leaving delicate chairs out in a large gathering of people and beer.

 

Of course I am also teaching them to be careful with other peoples' stuff, but not to assume anyone else will be careful with theirs!

 

 

[Journey]

why would the room mate even have to pay...she isn't the one that tripped right?  Wasn't it the roommate's friend who tripped?  as with most of the others....this is a hard lesson to have learned but it would be my child's fault for leaving it open and a glass of water right next to it...and it being a Mac....she should have taken extra care, not to sound rude.