I was just asked to stop nursing my baby at TARGET!

[Kathy in MD]

There were many comments about asking a baby to eat under a blanket when it's hot. Uh, every Target I've been in was air-conditioned. That one doesn't make sense to me.

 

I do have a question though, because I adopted and couldn't nurse. If a child doesn't like being covered by a lightweight blanket or cloth, wouldn't that same child likely object to being covered by a shirt?

[Saille]

I'm hardly suggesting smothering the baby with a tight blanket. Loosely draping one over the shoulders doesn't seem to bother most babies, at least not most that I've known.

 

Michelle T

 

We created much more of a stir trying to keep the blanket on when the baby pulled it off than I ever did nursing blanketless.

 

Honestly, the most discreet nursing I ever did was with a normal, non-nursing bra, and a totally typical Old Navy t-shirt on. The baby covers most of the breast.

 

It never ceases to amaze me the way sex just screams from every ad and source of media, yet seeing a human breast used for an utterly innocent and necessary function makes people squeamish. I think it's because it's *real*. After a while, the sexualized media starts to seem like some ephemeral fantasy world with its own rules. Being confronted with actual, real, non-airbrushed life is shocking by comparison, but that does not make it wrong.

 

IME, kids can be taught very quickly and easily that nursing is normal and not something to stare at...as long as they don't pick up on discomfort or unspoken disapproval from an adult authority figure.

[Mrs Mungo]

Does motivation matter?

 

Yes, I think it does.

 

In both cases it can be seen as immodest.

 

Have you ever been to the Middle East? It might surprise you to see a woman draped in all black with a veil and gloves and yet nursing her baby without a covering. It's not considered immodest even in countries extremely concerned about modesty because breastfeeding is the NORM. *I* believe breastfeeding should be the norm in the US and therefore would never encourage a woman to cover up as if it's something to be ashamed of. I understand you feel differently but I'll never agree with your side on this issue. So, I'll just agree to disagree and be thankful my kids were born in California and Europe rather than more conservative areas of the US and I never had to worry about it.

[melissel]

There were many comments about asking a baby to eat under a blanket when it's hot. Uh, every Target I've been in was air-conditioned. That one doesn't make sense to me.

 

I do have a question though, because I adopted and couldn't nurse. If a child doesn't like being covered by a lightweight blanket or cloth, wouldn't that same child likely object to being covered by a shirt?

 

The baby is not covered by the shirt, the breast is. It simply looks like a baby being held to a chest.

 

Like this:

 

http://z.about.com/d/pregnancy/1/0/5/Z/3/discretenursing.jpg

[at the beach]

Yes, I think it does.

 

 

 

Have you ever been to the Middle East? It might surprise you to see a woman draped in all black with a veil and gloves and yet nursing her baby without a covering. It's not considered immodest even in countries extremely concerned about modesty because breastfeeding is the NORM. *I* believe breastfeeding should be the norm in the US and therefore would never encourage a woman to cover up as if it's something to be ashamed of. I understand you feel differently but I'll never agree with your side on this issue. So, I'll just agree to disagree and be thankful my kids were born in California and Europe rather than more conservative areas of the US and I never had to worry about it.

 

:iagree:

[Saille]

I do have a question though, because I adopted and couldn't nurse. If a child doesn't like being covered by a lightweight blanket or cloth, wouldn't that same child likely object to being covered by a shirt?

 

Yes. Those voluminous nursing shirts drove my kids crazy. A normal tee, however, can just sort of rest around the part of the breast that would otherwise be exposed without interfering with the child's breathing or vision. That worked better for me. Even so, kids wiggle, bigger kids need you to hand them something...stuff happens. I despise people who say, "Eeek! A breast!" Every time it happens, all I can think is, "Grow up".

[Kanga]

I think you should have covered up, AND I think the teenagers with short shorts or cropped tees should also cover up. What makes you think nobody is uncomfortable about the inappropriately dressed teenagers? People on this board complain all the time about such things, and I'm sure there are plenty of other people out there who would prefer not to see some teenage girls belly hanging out.

 

And plenty of people have no problem with a mom nursing a baby in public, but would prefer to have a blanket or something tossed over. Sure, babies need to eat, but I've never seen why it's a problem to be discreet about it. Like it or not, boobs are a sexual body part, as well as a food source, and if my DS, 12, saw a woman openly feeding a baby, you can bet he'd be staring (and later talking about) her boobs. I don't blame the man with a 10 year old son for not wanting to be flashed while they ate a pretzel.

Michelle T

 

Just because a person does not put a blanket over them does not mean they are flashing while feeding. One of my babies hated being covered with a blanket and actually drew more attention to us when I covered up. I had one baby in Florida in the summer; I was not going to give her a heat rash while feeding her. I wore nursing tops with all of my children and did not feel the need to further cover up. I, however, did feel uncomfortable a couple times nursing in public when I had men or boys learing trying to catch a peak.

[melissel]

Have you ever been to the Middle East? It might surprise you to see a woman draped in all black with a veil and gloves and yet nursing her baby without a covering. It's not considered immodest even in countries extremely concerned about modesty because breastfeeding is the NORM. *I* believe breastfeeding should be the norm in the US and therefore would never encourage a woman to cover up as if it's something to be ashamed of. I understand you feel differently but I'll never agree with your side on this issue. So, I'll just agree to disagree and be thankful my kids were born in California and Europe rather than more conservative areas of the US and I never had to worry about it.

 

:party:

 

Breastfeeding will never reach a sufficient level of normalcy in this country unless some of us "push the envelope." After all, it wasn't so long ago that it was considered shocking and declasse to nurse your baby at all. It's taken a lot of work by a LOT of women (and men too) to reach this stage at all.

[Carol in Cal.]

There were many comments about asking a baby to eat under a blanket when it's hot. Uh, every Target I've been in was air-conditioned. That one doesn't make sense to me.

 

I do have a question though, because I adopted and couldn't nurse. If a child doesn't like being covered by a lightweight blanket or cloth, wouldn't that same child likely object to being covered by a shirt?

 

Lots of babies like to look up at their mother's face while they are nursing, and react strongly to not be able to do so. Also, the shirt just isn't "all" up; there is a discreet little raising on one side, or at a nursing opening, and that's it. I used to nurse right in church without a blanket. No one could ever see anything, I am quite sure. But a blanket would have called a great deal of attention to the whole thing. And yes, I only did this when I had a nursing dress on, and I was VERY careful.

[HRAAB]

There were many comments about asking a baby to eat under a blanket when it's hot. Uh, every Target I've been in was air-conditioned. That one doesn't make sense to me.

 

I do have a question though, because I adopted and couldn't nurse. If a child doesn't like being covered by a lightweight blanket or cloth, wouldn't that same child likely object to being covered by a shirt?

 

No, the shirt isn't over the child's head.

 

Janet

[Sue G in PA]

Well, I just wanted to update everyone. I called the specific Target store and spoke to the manager on duty (a man btw!). This Target is in MD where I am covered by MD law saying that a breastfeeding woman shall not be restricted or prohibited from nursing her child in public. I calmly explained the situation to the mgr. and he was very, very apologetic, saying first that he's never had an issue like this arise in his 7 yrs. of doing retail and that he would certainly get right on educating his staff about this particular issue so that it doesn't happen to somebody else. That's all I wanted to happen. So, don't boycot Target! This was simply a misunderstanding and a women employee/mgr. who was not imformed about this policy/issue and wanted to "help" this complaining customer. It still aggravates me that his comfort superceded mine of my child's...but whatever. Not worth my energy. Thanks for your support and for the "opposing" viewpoints as well.

[Jenny in Atl]

:iagree: Nursing mothers aren't even on my son's radar.

 

When I was active in LLL we had kids and men of all ages, and lots and lots of brestfeeding moms; sometimes all in a fairly small room. Funny, never saw either the men or boys staring at the nursing moms and babes. Maybe I should have said, if kids (both boys and girls) are exposed to breastfeeding by lots of women and not just their mothers, then this whole issue would become mute.

[Mrs Mungo]

Well, I just wanted to update everyone. I called the specific Target store and spoke to the manager on duty (a man btw!). This Target is in MD where I am covered by MD law saying that a breastfeeding woman shall not be restricted or prohibited from nursing her child in public. I calmly explained the situation to the mgr. and he was very, very apologetic, saying first that he's never had an issue like this arise in his 7 yrs. of doing retail and that he would certainly get right on educating his staff about this particular issue so that it doesn't happen to somebody else. That's all I wanted to happen. So, don't boycot Target! This was simply a misunderstanding and a women employee/mgr. who was not imformed about this policy/issue and wanted to "help" this complaining customer. It still aggravates me that his comfort superceded mine of my child's...but whatever. Not worth my energy. Thanks for your support and for the "opposing" viewpoints as well.

 

I'm very glad he was so understanding and I hope your call helps some mom who is less confident in her choices avoid embarrassment. Good job! :grouphug:

[HRAAB]

Guess I need to add to that. I never pulled my shirt down over my baby's head; would have fought it off like a blanket. My top was pulled up as far as necessary, baby was held to my breast and it was discreet. I suppose you could cover the baby with a very loose teeshirt. I nursed my babies in a sling and nobody even knew what I was doing.

 

I will never understand people getting upset over a woman nursing. And I will never believe that men cannot differentiate between a nursing mother and a woman who is dressed in a revealing manner. Even teenage boys.

 

My conversation continued with dh, and I asked him about being a teen. Of course, he laughed at me. He can hardly remember a time when his mother didn't have a baby attached. Maybe that's the problem. If breasts were used for their natural purpose, we wouldn't have to worry about our teenage sons getting sexual ideas over a nursing mother.

 

Janet

[Jenny in Atl]

Lots of babies like to look up at their mother's face while they are nursing, and react strongly to not be able to do so. Also, the shirt just isn't "all" up; there is a discreet little raising on one side, or at a nursing opening, and that's it. I used to nurse right in church without a blanket. No one could ever see anything, I am quite sure. But a blanket would have called a great deal of attention to the whole thing. And yes, I only did this when I had a nursing dress on, and I was VERY careful.

 

Yes, few know that that is the exact distance a newborn can see... to their mother's face from the breast. Or for non-nursing moms, the same if they cradle hold while bottle feeding. There is a reason for this!!!!

 

Women in Victorian England nursed openly in church. It was a scandal to see their ankles or wrists, but not a sliver of a breast. How things have changed. :confused:

[mommytobees]

:::delurking::

 

Snickering, (and not at you), you should give a call to your local La Leche League and ask if they know of a group of women who would like to schedule a "nurse-in".

 

Furthermore, I would contact a different store and ask for the district manager for area, both phone number and address. Then, give the district manager a small piece of education.

 

I've had this happen and Target is one of the BEST stores to "educate". The company takes breastfeeding as a pro-active education. Complain, and this manager WILL be educated.

 

Kris, who was kicked out of 2 different malls and one Wally-world

[Old Dominion Heather]

 

It never ceases to amaze me the way sex just screams from every ad and source of media, yet seeing a human breast used for an utterly innocent and necessary function makes people squeamish. I think it's because it's *real*. After a while, the sexualized media starts to seem like some ephemeral fantasy world with its own rules. Being confronted with actual, real, non-airbrushed life is shocking by comparison, but that does not make it wrong.

 

IME, kids can be taught very quickly and easily that nursing is normal and not something to stare at...as long as they don't pick up on discomfort or unspoken disapproval from an adult authority figure.

 

 

I completely agree... I'd a heckovalot rather have my boys see a mom nursing in public than have them looking at some of the magazine covers! All they are seeing is a mom taking care of her kids. My neighbor down the street nurses her little guy outside with all of us on the street around and all the kids out playing and no one thinks anything of it.

[kokotg]

 

Women in Victorian England nursed openly in church. It was a scandal to see their ankles or wrists, but not a sliver of a breast. How things have changed. :confused:

 

There's a line in To Kill a Mockingbird (set in the 30's) that casually mentions women nursing in the courtroom during the trial:

 

Judge Taylor was the only person in the courtroom who laughed. Even the babies were still, and I suddenly wondered if they had been smothered at their mothers’ breasts.

 

It's not put in to make any sort of statement whatsoever--it's clear that it was completely a non-issue for women to feed their babies wherever they were. Women breastfeeding in public is not a symptom of a cultural loss of modesty; it's something that's been happening for as long as there have been hungry babies. The over the top reaction to it these days is a reflection of how hyper-sexualized our culture is.

 

I'm glad the manager responded so well, and that your story has a good outcome, Sue!

[Paula in MS]

It sounds like discrimination to me. Everyone can eat in the food court but baby.:001_huh: Sue them all!! Just kidding. It is a crazy place we live in when people prefer that babies eat in bathrooms or fitting rooms instead of a restaurant. I'm glad you resolved this somewhat by talking to the manager.

 

Paula

[Murphy101]

Have you ever been to the Middle East? It might surprise you to see a woman draped in all black with a veil and gloves and yet nursing her baby without a covering. It's not considered immodest even in countries extremely concerned about modesty because breastfeeding is the NORM.

 

Yes. And they go out of their way to be sure ot not expose anything while doing it. And under layers of burka, they are essentially wearing the blanket some other culture of woman might use to cover with.

 

When I was active in LLL we had kids and men of all ages, and lots and lots of brestfeeding moms; sometimes all in a fairly small room. Funny, never saw either the men or boys staring at the nursing moms and babes. Maybe I should have said, if kids (both boys and girls) are exposed to breastfeeding by lots of women and not just their mothers, then this whole issue would become mute.

 

No one is talking about staring. Isn't it at all possible the man happened to look up and see something and think - "holy moly wasn't expecting that!" My sons and dh don't leer at anyone, but they aren't blind either. If they look across the room and get a flash of breast - they notice it. No, they don't suddenly go brain dead, but they don't go blind either.

 

Women in Victorian England nursed openly in church. It was a scandal to see their ankles or wrists, but not a sliver of a breast. How things have changed. :confused:

 

No one has said a sliver of breast is scandal. Good grief, I'm a jean shorts and tank top wearing kind of gal myself so if a bit of cleavage is scandal, then I'm sure in trouble. But I do take steps, such as a light blanket, to be sure I don't accidentally show more to the public than to my dh in the privacy of our bedroom.

 

By all means, if one can bf uncovered without exposing anything they wouldn't want photographed, then they should feel comfortable doing so.

 

My only point was that some women think they are doing this and at various moments they aren't as covered as they think they are and that it would be valid for others who are inadvertantly on the receiving end of that view to be uncomfortable and to wish the woman would take precautions to be more careful.

 

Covering up is not a sign of shame or anything like that. It's simple consideration.

 

As for refusing to do so to force people into ones way of thinking.

I don't think so. A lack of consideration for others usually does not result in those others showing any more returned consideration than they were given.

 

Like I mentioned previously, I would have simply dealt with it. "I'm so sorry! Oh my! Is anything showing?! Did you actually see something?! Yes?! Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean too.. he's just a squirmly little guy and I thought I was being more careful."

 

OR

 

"oh. No? Not really? You didn't see anything? No breast was exposed? Then what is it you think I need to cover? Do you always find the notion of babies getting milk immodest? I'm not sure I understand what your problem is... I need to finish feeding my baby now... You might consider therapy... "

[Deeke]

Here's a link to a Canadian story that just happened in BC at an H&M store. Amazing in this day and age people still have issues with breastfeeding in public.

 

:party: You could always have a sit-in! :party:

 

H&M breastfeeding incident sparks human rights protest

[nmoira]

 

Amazing in this day and age people still have issues with breastfeeding in public.

Yup. :001_rolleyes:

[Jennifer in MI]

Well, I just wanted to update everyone. I called the specific Target store and spoke to the manager on duty (a man btw!). This Target is in MD where I am covered by MD law saying that a breastfeeding woman shall not be restricted or prohibited from nursing her child in public. I calmly explained the situation to the mgr. and he was very, very apologetic, saying first that he's never had an issue like this arise in his 7 yrs. of doing retail and that he would certainly get right on educating his staff about this particular issue so that it doesn't happen to somebody else. That's all I wanted to happen. So, don't boycot Target! This was simply a misunderstanding and a women employee/mgr. who was not imformed about this policy/issue and wanted to "help" this complaining customer. It still aggravates me that his comfort superceded mine of my child's...but whatever. Not worth my energy. Thanks for your support and for the "opposing" viewpoints as well.

 

Good for you!!! I'm so glad that manager reacted appropriately.

 

When I was active in LLL we had kids and men of all ages, and lots and lots of brestfeeding moms; sometimes all in a fairly small room. Funny, never saw either the men or boys staring at the nursing moms and babes. Maybe I should have said, if kids (both boys and girls) are exposed to breastfeeding by lots of women and not just their mothers, then this whole issue would become mute.

 

Exactly!! I was talking about this thread tonight at dinner. My 12 and 10 yo dss just couldn't see why there was even an issue! But, they've seen me nursing both their younger brother and sister. I only wish they'd seen more women nurse babies in public!

[gardenschooler]

Um, wow. I have nursed my babies without ANY breast showing. My shirt would cover everything. I am a VERY modest person and would not be able to nurse any other way. But, I will absolutely NOT cover up with a blanket. My children wouldn't allow it. I also think that people need to get over it. She was feeding her baby!!!! Sue said she was being discreet - I highly doubt she "flashed" the man and his 10 yo son.

 

I agree, you can nurse discreetly without a blanket.

 

A blanket on top of a baby in August? No. Just no.

[gardenschooler]

I just absolutely cannot understand this argument.

 

Even if Sue had, say, pulled her shirt down, therefore exposing the entire top of her breast, (sorry, Sue!), she would have been showing the same amount of skin as plenty of the women shopping in the store.

 

I've seen girls in Target with their jeans so low, their hip bones were a good 2" exposed.

[gardenschooler]

Sometimes a simple OMGoodness how embarrassing moment goes a long way to making people more comfortable.

 

:confused: I strongly disagree that a nursing mother needs to make other people comfortable by feigning embarrassment for feeding her child. How odd.

 

But I don't know that we should always support feelings of outrage.

 

:confused: I'm supporting Sue, not just 'someone', and her right to nurse her baby without being made to feel she's doing something wrong.

[gardenschooler]

Well, I just wanted to update everyone. I called the specific Target store and spoke to the manager on duty (a man btw!). This Target is in MD where I am covered by MD law saying that a breastfeeding woman shall not be restricted or prohibited from nursing her child in public. I calmly explained the situation to the mgr. and he was very, very apologetic, saying first that he's never had an issue like this arise in his 7 yrs. of doing retail and that he would certainly get right on educating his staff about this particular issue so that it doesn't happen to somebody else. That's all I wanted to happen. So, don't boycot Target! This was simply a misunderstanding and a women employee/mgr. who was not imformed about this policy/issue and wanted to "help" this complaining customer. It still aggravates me that his comfort superceded mine of my child's...but whatever. Not worth my energy. Thanks for your support and for the "opposing" viewpoints as well.

 

Glad it had a good ending, Sue. I was a little worried about boycotting Target, because...where else would I go? :D Take a copy of that law and keep it in your purse.

[mommaduck]

I think you should have taken the blanket....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and told the employee to give it to whomever complained. He can put it over his head.

 

Yeah, because most likely it was more disgusting to watch them eat than an infant...

 

And I wouldn't boycott Target because they are getting crunchy for a mainstream store :) I Love Target! If anything, I would have supported a nurse-in at an uncooperative store.

[iquilt]

I think you should have covered up, AND I think the teenagers with short shorts or cropped tees should also cover up. What makes you think nobody is uncomfortable about the inappropriately dressed teenagers? People on this board complain all the time about such things, and I'm sure there are plenty of other people out there who would prefer not to see some teenage girls belly hanging out.

 

And plenty of people have no problem with a mom nursing a baby in public, but would prefer to have a blanket or something tossed over. Sure, babies need to eat, but I've never seen why it's a problem to be discreet about it. Like it or not, boobs are a sexual body part, as well as a food source, and if my DS, 12, saw a woman openly feeding a baby, you can bet he'd be staring (and later talking about) her boobs. I don't blame the man with a 10 year old son for not wanting to be flashed while they ate a pretzel.

Michelle T

 

Well, 2 of my 3 never wanted to be under a blanket while nursing - I can't imagine it was very comfortable for them to not be able to breathe very well while trying to eat. I don't think any baby should have to eat undercover anywhere; when the baby is hungry the baby needs to eat, especially that young.

[mommaduck]

I'm sorry, but NONE of my children have been able to nurse under a blanket. And given the time of year most were born in, sitting in a hot car wasn't going to cut it, nursing in a bathroom is disgusting (anyone else is more than welcome to take their meal in there to eat if they find it so appetizing ;) ), and some women simply cannot get a latch without some sight of their child. Oh, and timing outings? HAHAHAHA! When you have many children and have to go shopping with all of them by yourself, outings take longer and many would just end up landlocked in their homes and a fridge that needed to filled. And I'd rather a babe nursed than a babe screaming itself into a frenzy (sorry, they don't understand "wait" and "be quiet for now"...they are infants, they only understand their most basic needs and only have one way of communicating it).

[dawn of ns]

Well, 2 of my 3 never wanted to be under a blanket while nursing - I can't imagine it was very comfortable for them to not be able to breathe very well while trying to eat. I don't think any baby should have to eat undercover anywhere; when the baby is hungry the baby needs to eat, especially that young.

 

I tried a blanket with my daughter. It worked while she was very young but once the smiles started it was useless. It would be pulled away to reveal her giggling or grinning over a nipple.

 

A loose T-shirt always did the trick and never showed any skin.

 

What the blanket does is provide a screen so people uncomfortable with just the thought of nursing can pretend it's not happening. Sorry, I'm not really concerned with protecting others from their own thoughts.

[Karen in CO]

Do you realize that you qualify as an actual Lactivist.

:party:

 

I've got one of those "I Make Milk. What's your Superpower?" T-shirts you could wear.

 

I'm glad you didn't let the narrow-minded stop you from doing what is right. Your babies are very lucky that their mom doesn't let people push her around.

[Harriet Vane]

I'm hardly suggesting smothering the baby with a tight blanket. Loosely draping one over the shoulders doesn't seem to bother most babies, at least not most that I've known.

 

Michelle T

 

Both of my babies refused to nurse under a blanket. It is a fact of life for some people.

 

And yes, it is completely possible to nurse without flashing anything.

 

I find your post to be a sad commentary.

[woolybear]

A few years ago I was in Walmart with a friend. My baby was hungry and friend was still looking at clothes. So I plopped myself down on the floor near her and started nursing. One employee said loudly to another. "I can't believe she's doing that right there." " Oh, it's not right." They went on. (I don't think there had been any complaints, just their own issues. One of them came over and asked if I would go do that in a dressing room. I said "No.They're not clean enough." I mean, why should I? I remember even going into one that someone had urinated in. Yuck. Nothing more happened and my ds was done nursing. I was incensed too. And really, this society is just ridiculous about breasts. You can see more with what many teenagers wear these days. It's just that breastfeeding is still a strange idea here. That is why I tried to make an effort when I had a little one to do it in public. People need to see it more and get used to it. It's normal!!

 

Okay, I'm starting to rant too. I'm done.

[woolybear]

A few years ago I was in Walmart with a friend. My baby was hungry and friend was still looking at clothes. So I plopped myself down on the floor near her and started nursing. One employee said loudly to another. "I can't believe she's doing that right there." " Oh, it's not right." They went on. (I don't think there had been any complaints, just their own issues. One of them came over and asked if I would go do that in a dressing room. I said "No.They're the dressing rooms arent clean enough." I mean, why should I? I remember even going into one that someone had urinated in. Yuck. Nothing more happened and my ds was done nursing. I was incensed too. And really, this society is just ridiculous about breasts. You can see more with what many teenagers wear these days. It's just that breastfeeding is still a strange idea here. That is why I tried to make an effort when I had a little one to do it in public. People need to see it more and get used to it. It's normal!!

 

Okay, I'm starting to rant too. I'm done.

[6packofun]

No one is talking about staring. Isn't it at all possible the man happened to look up and see something and think - "holy moly wasn't expecting that!" My sons and dh don't leer at anyone, but they aren't blind either. If they look across the room and get a flash of breast - they notice it. No, they don't suddenly go brain dead, but they don't go blind either.

 

:iagree: Yep to all of your post. I'm pro-bf even though I could not do it myself and yet it doesn't seem OK to place your "right" above other parents' right to protect their pre-teen/teen sons from nudity of any kind. It's not up to ME to blatantly say by my actions (flashing a breast) that YOUR ideas of nudity are prudish and wrong just because *I* say the context is fine. And we can talk about other countries where it's acceptable until we're blue in the face, but it's moot *here*. There is always a compromise that thinks of someone besides yourself when you are out in public around others.

[6packofun]

Lots of babies are like this--more conspicuous with the blanket than without. And frankly, the guy should have minded his own business. He was paying WAAAAY too much attention if he actually called management. Serious boundary issues as well, IMO. Now if it was someone you knew and they mentioned that things were a little less discreet than normal, maybe. Otherwise, heavens, keep your eyes to yourself and lighten up, would be my messages.

 

And yet, I never hear of a bf mom complaining to management of all the supposed *ogling*. :confused: Really, there are plenty of moms who don't try to be discreet (won't go into their motivation for not even trying because it's pretty obvious) and most people don't really seem to put up a fuss over bf unless they are repeatedly being exposed to nipple while trying to eat or shop or whatever.

[6packofun]

:party:

 

Breastfeeding will never reach a sufficient level of normalcy in this country unless some of us "push the envelope." After all, it wasn't so long ago that it was considered shocking and declasse to nurse your baby at all. It's taken a lot of work by a LOT of women (and men too) to reach this stage at all.

 

 

What exactly must one do to push the envelope on breastfeeding???

[amy g.]

I carry a license to breast feed issued by the state of Texas, and I don't hesitate to pull it out.

 

http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/bf/pdf/13-06-10830.pdf

 

I've also told complainers, "I really want to do what's right, so put your request in writing, and I'll have my lawyer look it over, and advise me. I'll do whatever he tells me to do because I really don't want to do anything wrong."

 

There just isn't much more they can say after that.

[Karen in CO]

I carry a license to breast feed issued by the state of Texas, and I don't hesitate to pull it out.

 

http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/wichd/bf/pdf/13-06-10830.pdf

 

I've also told complainers, "I really want to do what's right, so put your request in writing, and I'll have my lawyer look it over, and advise me. I'll do whatever he tells me to do because I really don't want to do anything wrong."

 

There just isn't much more they can say after that.

 

Okay that is cool. CO has the same law that a woman may breastfeed anywhere is authorized to be, but to back it up with handouts is nice.

[Tree House Academy]

One day, my then 7 year old (now 9 year old) and I were leaving walmart through the checkout line. In front of us sat this woman feeding her baby. You could see her belly, her nipple in the baby's mouth, and the top of the breast. My 7 year old said, "MOMMY SHE IS...WHAT IS SHE DOING???" I simply said, "son, she is feeding her child. It is not polite to stare. Come on." That was it. I don't think it is great and wonderful and exciting to see a woman with that much showing...but at the same time, my son needs to know that this is something people do and, at any rate, do not stare.

 

I may have felt a bit differently if that was the scene from our table tonight at the Mexican restaurant. On the same token, I don't want to see a man sitting there with no shirt at the dinner table...even though it is perfectly okay for men to not wear shirts at all. KWIM? Maybe it was just the location more than anything else. ???

 

At any rate, sorry you were treated rudely.

[BusyMum]

the complaining customer wasn't sitting near me when I was feeding. Master 7.5 months can not stand having a blanket obscuring his view of my face when feeding. He pulls off, arches his back and sticks one leg out at a right angle. Since he usually does this just as let down occurs, I have to be very quick to cover up before a great stream of milk arches across the table hitting people up to a metre away. I have pretty much given up feeding him in public. My clothes end up soaked, he stays unfed and I can't look anyone in the eye afterwards! :lol:

[Osmosis Mom]

I bf myself and do it in public, but always sort of discreetly and with no flesh showing. I have occasionally used a blanket, but that's not comfy to this baby anyways plus I agree that it is the *idea* some people mind.

 

I have once met a homeschooling mom who was bf'ing in front of a bunch of kids and having her child (2 years old?) actually play with her nipple right then and there. I am not sure I have been more disgusted ever.

 

Ther is no way I want any of my kids to see someone else's breast -not even while bf'ing. And I think it is fair that we draw lines and show public respect.

 

(I am saying all this while hoping I haven't insulted somebody while bf'ing, but I probably have, over the years -even with no meat showing!!!)

[Mom to Aly]

I think the law does cover you on this one, and I would definitely contact their corporate headquarters. If they say you are not allowed to, I would ask for that in writing, and send it to everyone you can think of. I'm sure there are lots of moms and agencies that would like to know!

[mommylawyer]

Whenever I bf'ed my younger two in public, I always had my daughter (my oldest) take a doll with her because I knew the inevitability of the situation...

 

If I started breastfeeding (whether covered or not) she would start, too. Ah... if you think I got looks, you should see the looks my daughter got!

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Distraction is an amazing thing!

[Joanne]

FWIW, since this topic has broadened a bit (no pun intended)....

 

I've personally experienced and read/heard several stories where the store employee reported a "customer complaint" when, indeed, no complaint was actually made.

[*anj*]

Sue,

I haven't even read the other posts in this thread, but I want to commend you for standing your ground. You're completely right: 12 year olds are walking around in short shorts that say "cute" across the behind, and young women can basically go out in a bra and call it a shirt, and that's fine. But a mother nursing her child? Unspeakable! Cover that up! Go sit on the toilet!

 

Yeah, everyone's got their hot button issues, and this is one of mine.

I nursed mine in the mall, at church, in restaurants, you name it. But never, ever the bathroom. :confused:

[melissel]

What exactly must one do to push the envelope on breastfeeding???

 

Apparently, one must simply nurse at Target. Now, in Maryland, there's an annoyed but enlightened employee, a manager who knows there's an issue with his store and will address it with his staff, and possibly a customer who realizes that someone takes a nursing mom's legal rights seriously. I consider the bar raised.

[*anj*]

Um, wow. I have nursed my babies without ANY breast showing. My shirt would cover everything. I am a VERY modest person and would not be able to nurse any other way. But, I will absolutely NOT cover up with a blanket. My children wouldn't allow it. I also think that people need to get over it. She was feeding her baby!!!! Sue said she was being discreet - I highly doubt she "flashed" the man and his 10 yo son.

 

:iagree:I nursed mine publicly, though modestly. No one saw my flesh unless maybe they were staring right at a certain point, and then that's their fault. I used blankets a couple of times when they were very young, but when they got older they'd either kick it off or turn into a little sweatball. I considered it an art to be able to nurse discreetly in public.

[Mom-ninja.]

:iagree: Yep to all of your post. I'm pro-bf even though I could not do it myself and yet it doesn't seem OK to place your "right" above other parents' right to protect their pre-teen/teen sons from nudity of any kind. It's not up to ME to blatantly say by my actions (flashing a breast) that YOUR ideas of nudity are prudish and wrong just because *I* say the context is fine. And we can talk about other countries where it's acceptable until we're blue in the face, but it's moot *here*. There is always a compromise that thinks of someone besides yourself when you are out in public around others.

 

If a parent wants to protect their child from nudity of any kind then their kids are going to have to grow up never leaving the house, watching TV, reading magazines, etc. In short they would not be able to have any outside contact with our society at all.

 

Also, this word again "flashing" when it comes to breastfeeding....seriously, where is this flashing going on?

 

Your last sentence of thinking of someone else besides yourself when you are out in public. Yeah, I do think of someone besides myself....the baby.

 

My DH and two sons have been around many many breastfeeding women in the past 7 years. They don't even bat an eye. DH does not view a lactating breast as sexual, and breastfeeding is so normal for my boys that they don't even think about it. In fact, they will stare and ask questions when they see a bottle. I have to explain to them why the mom may not be breastfeeding. That's when I have to tell my boys to not stare. It's not a normal sight for them so they look. If breastfeeding were a normal everyday sight in our society it would not even be noticed.

 

I have seen a picture of a woman dressed completely head to toe in a black burka. She was standing on a sidewalk by a busy street with other pedestrians all around. You could only see her eyes and her breast. The entire breast. She was nursing her infant. I love that picture. In her society, modesty calls for covering from head to toe, yet the breast is excluded from this modesty standard because she was feeding her child. Love it.