Tess in the Burbs Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I have had this info for a few weeks but I get so angry when I talk about it it's taken me awhile to post. I want to post b/c I want to make sure people know about this Scout Camp. So ds survived the camp. But I should be thankful. A few weeks ago at our scout meeting the scoutmaster came in to the committee meeting and a comment was made about camps/food and my son. I went on to say I was glad he lived but it felt like the camp director pretty much ignored my request for information. Scoutmaster chuckles and says to me that yes, the director pretty much ignored me on purpose. I WAS LIVID. I had asked this scoutmaster to have a talk before I sent Ds up there since he was going to see the camp director. Scoutmaster said he never got a chance....but as he was talking about my emails being laughed at I realized he too thought I was just overreacting about the food allergies. They laughed too(all adults who went) about how they wanted to wrap his chair to prevent cross contamination which just shows how stupid they all are about food allergies. I mentioned the kid who died at camp this summer from one bite of food....and her parents were on site. It shut them up. I realize now the scoutmaster didn't have my son's best interest at heart. He didn't really care about my concerns. The camp director didn't really care about my concerns. Kids do die at camp from food allergies and I plan on writing a letter to council about everyone's behavior very soon. (I need ds to get his merit badges at the COH in a few weeks first before we officially quit) Anyway, DO NOT send your food allergy kid to BAYPORT Scout camp in Virginia. The director Matt doesn't care about your food allergy kid. He will ignore requests for information. Who knows what the kitchen staff did.....luckily ds chose to live off his snacks he brought. He said he felt safer and now I realize why. Dh said the director was nice to him but now we know it was all just a farce. I couldn't believe how our Scoutmaster just laughed and made jokes about it. Ds asked to quit scouts.....a lot of reasons. We are sad but I am so ticked off at the scoutmaster for not doing his part when asked that we would be leaving this troop regardless. Ds wants to just camp as a family again. Can't blame him. Every camping trip was a huge issue anyway in regards to his food allergies. Even though we offered to just send him alternative food they made it into a huge drama. But the camp situation didn't sit right with me all summer.....and I wasn't crazy....the director just chose to think me crazy and ignore me!!!! It's sad, but until a kid gets seriously hurt or killed from their negligence nothing will change there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 <<<Hugs>>> from someone whose husband gets extremely sick with gluten. He will only eat out at a handful of places that have proven over years that they don't make him sick. Anytime we visit anyone, Iwork with them so that he can be fed. He can be in the same room as bread, but it can't touch his food. It is hard and we do miss out on some things because of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I understand why your ds wants to quit scouts. Neither of my older dc stayed in scouts. For ds there were a lot of problems and we tried a couple of troops. Food was a problem, but doable. It was one of many issues. In girl scouts activities with just the troop were great. The leader was fantastic about making sure food was safe, through planning for outings and prep. However, going to girl scout camp was a nightmare. The people who run the camp did not care and did not want to do anything, to the point that while I sent food for all 20 meals dd needed because they were not going to accomodate, they also had trouble thinking about how dd would be able to access the food she brought since she could not eat their meals. They may as well put on their brochure "we will not accomodate food allergies and intolerances in any way." I think scout programs are great in general, but I haven't found them to be accomodating in any way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 wow. I'm just floored. So sorry he had to go through that. I can't believe how callous they were. So glad your son was okay, despite the leaders efforts to ignore his issues. Definitely send a letter... and make it as public as you can, especially after that girl died this summer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I sent you a private message Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 :grouphug: I can't imagine! How scary to look back and realize what could've happened. What jerks to laugh about it later. Also, how did they miss the news stories about the girl who died -- I'm usually clueless about national news, and even *I* knew that was plastered all over the place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Yikes! That's terrible. I csn't believe people who work around kids are so misinformed. I'm sorry this happened to your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peace out muffins Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 O.M.G. I'd be chewing up nails and spitting out tacks. Thank goodness your kid has more sense than the adults up there, does he need to carry epi/benedryl? I am never without mine and I think I drive people crazy asking about stuff. But I know some kid-places are super dumb about letting kids hold their life-sustaining meds. :grouphug: :gnorsi: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennay Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 That camp director should be fired for knowingly placing a scout at risk. Goes against all his training and the Scout Oath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Oh, that is beyond horrible. I am so sorry. :grouphug: And so grateful that your son is okay, and is still here! We don't scout, because we've heard horror stories about local troops and allergies (among other things), and as a matter of fact - we're in VA. Not that this attitude is only in VA, it's probably rampant everywhere, but I was surprised to see the camp you've been discussing is in VA, too. That kind of attitude is archaic (considering the numbers of kids with LTFAs), ignorant and cruel. I am so, so deeply sorry that you went through this. May I suggest that in addition to writing a letter to scouts, that you also reach out to FARE? (Wait, it is FARE now, right? Not FAAN? You know who I mean, right?) ....They may be able to assist the scouts in getting some better training, since clearly the training they received is inadequate. Perhaps a letter or a phone call from an advocacy group would help the BSA see that they might have killed someone this summer, and probably many summers. I suspect the only reason they haven't yet is that most of us, like you, are vigilant about sending food with our kids, sending a parent, or not sending our kids. Aaaaarrrghhh! I am SO upset for you. In fact, I wonder if a frank conversation with someone at FARE or FAAN might lead to an article or two that would light a fire under the BSA's behind on this? Laughing at a parent's valid concerns is inexcusable. If you need help reaching out to them, I'd be glad to help. So, so sorry that you went through this, but again, so very glad that your son is okay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serenade Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Wow! So different from my son's boy scout camp. All the kids are interviewed by a doctor at check-in where they are supposed to discuss health concerns, allergies, etc. Ben said the doctor asked about his reactions and reminded him to carry his epi-pen at all times. Meals are not a super-huge concern for my son -- he has a tree nut allergy only, and I don't think they are used in the camp cuisine. They do use peanut products, but I think they only serve those peanut butter sandwich thingies that come pre-packed. The camp prepares some individual meals for kids with specific dietary concerns, not just allergies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 :grouphug: Oh my gosh. I would be absolutely beyond furious with the scoutmaster. I can't believe they can be so openly callous about the health and well-being of a kid! With that kind of attitude they shouldn't even be in scouts. I'm so glad your son is okay. I think the letters and what not are a good idea. We've never done scouts so I can't help with specifics, but I have a LTFA and know how annoying it can be for myself. I can't imagine having to deal with it for one of my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I am so sorry. So very, very sorry. How truly awful. Last year my ds had a good experience at a Scout camp (not the one in Virginia). The cook last year sent me a menu ahead of time and talked to me personally on the phone. She had lists of allergens posted in the kitchen and was able to show me that she really knew what she was talking about. This year was a different story, though it was still okay. I was frustrated because the new cook (different from last year) refused to return my phone calls or emails. I spoke to others on the staff who assured me they would ask the cook to call, but there was no response. Finally the night before ds was set to leave I spoke to the camp director, who was puzzled as to why I was fussing. He said they had "assured me multiple times" of their ability to keep ds safe and were not sure what else they needed to provide. Though this was a very frustrating start, we actually had a good conversation. I gently told him that I was unhappy because the people who handle the food (the cook) had not spoken to me and had not told me that they know what ingredients to avoid, that they check ingredients, that they have procedures for addressing food allergies. I told him a couple stories from ds' life. I told him that he cannot just say, "Don't worry. We'll keep your ds safe." Rather, I need to hear the cook say, "Yes, I read labels and will check for whey and caseine . . . " He seemed to hear my concerns--I got the impression that he was just clueless. In the end, we did okay with Scout camp this year for three reasons: First and foremost, dh took a week off of work and went with the troop. All my stress evaporated away because I knew dh would exercise the oversight the camp didn't seem to fully understand. Second, I sent ds with a week's worth of food, just in case. Stuff like canned chicken, canned tuna, bread, snacks, cereal, rice milk, etc. Third, ds vividly remembered throwing up a few times when some idiot assured us that something was safe when it wasn't. He knows not to trust anyone, and he is learning to embrace the need for personal vigilance. It sounds like your ds is embracing personal vigilance, so you can definitely be proud of him. I am appalled that the staff responded this way--it's inappropriate and totally unacceptable. I remember feeling sooooo panicked and upset as the days went by without a call from the cook. I can well imagine your justifiable rage, and am so sorry. You should write about this up the chain of command. Splash a lot of attention onto this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 That is truly awful. Not typical of our BSA experiences at all, which would include a different camp in Virginia! Every single camp our troop has gone to has been great for the boys with food allergies, as well as other issues! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I would print everything (emails, a list of calls you made, etc.), including an article about the poor girl who died at camp this summer from a food allergy, and make an appointment to meet in person with the Council Execituive. I would have you and your husband there. I would let him know in no uncertain terms (cheerfully and politely) what a travesty your treatment has been and how dangerous this was for your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 Finally the night before ds was set to leave I spoke to the camp director, who was puzzled as to why I was fussing. He said they had "assured me multiple times" of their ability to keep ds safe and were not sure what else they needed to provide. Though this was a very frustrating start, we actually had a good conversation. I gently told him that I was unhappy because the people who handle the food (the cook) had not spoken to me and had not told me that they know what ingredients to avoid, that they check ingredients, that they have procedures for addressing food allergies. I told him a couple stories from ds' life. I told him that he cannot just say, "Don't worry. We'll keep your ds safe." Rather, I need to hear the cook say, "Yes, I read labels and will check for whey and caseine . . . " He seemed to hear my concerns--I got the impression that he was just clueless. In the end, we did okay with Scout camp this year for three reasons: First and foremost, dh took a week off of work and went with the troop. All my stress evaporated away because I knew dh would exercise the oversight the camp didn't seem to fully understand. Second, I sent ds with a week's worth of food, just in case. Stuff like canned chicken, canned tuna, bread, snacks, cereal, rice milk, etc. Third, ds vividly remembered throwing up a few times when some idiot assured us that something was safe when it wasn't. He knows not to trust anyone, and he is learning to embrace the need for personal vigilance. It sounds like your ds is embracing personal vigilance, so you can definitely be proud of him. I am appalled that the staff responded this way--it's inappropriate and totally unacceptable. I remember feeling sooooo panicked and upset as the days went by without a call from the cook. I can well imagine your justifiable rage, and am so sorry. You should write about this up the chain of command. Splash a lot of attention onto this. Yes, he kept telling me they can handle food allergies but when I asked what they do to identify these kids and how they prep food or ingredient lists he just stopped communicating with me. I feel like if they can handle it, they would have answers!!!! I did sent dh and loads of food for ds. But he said he didn't ever want to go to camp again. It's going to be ok, he's quitting scouts and we are camping as a family again. I like that. But it's sad he's giving up something we truly believe is good for him. Of course I am just now realizing this week how many clothes he didn't come up with.....how do you lose that many pairs of shirts and shorts??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Wow! What awful people. Write that letter!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Personally I'd befriend, tweet, or find some way to contact a reporter in the area who might be willing to do an expose on the dangers of food allergies being ignored and who would specifically mention that it is a boy scout camp. In my experience customer service might fail, but public relations departments never do. Given the prompt attention the BSA has paid to negative news stories in the past 6 months, I'm willing to bet they have a public relations department that is on top of ensuring their image still means keeping children safe. If a news expose wasn't possible I'd pay an attorney a few hundred dollars to write a threatening letter about willfully endangering a child to the troop, the counsel, the camp, and BSA. It is amazing how people will ignore what they see as an over-fussy helicopter mom will suddenly listen when they perceive a personal threat to their jobs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Personally I'd befriend, tweet, or find some way to contact a reporter in the area who might be willing to do an expose on the dangers of food allergies being ignored and who would specifically mention that it is a boy scout camp. In my experience customer service might fail, but public relations departments never do. Given the prompt attention the BSA has paid to negative news stories in the past 6 months, I'm willing to bet they have a public relations department that is on top of ensuring their image still means keeping children safe. If a news expose wasn't possible I'd pay an attorney a few hundred dollars to write a threatening letter about willfully endangering a child to the troop, the counsel, the camp, and BSA. It is amazing how people will ignore what they see as an over-fussy helicopter mom will suddenly listen when they perceive a personal threat to their jobs. I like this. The kind of cavalier, we-know-better-than-you attitude (so we'll quietly laugh at you once your kid arrives home safe, no thanks to us since he only ate snack food he brought from home) that was displayed here is what gets children killed. Yes, killed. Boy Scouts would not display that kind of unsafe behavior around other types of dangerous, deadly situations. Surely not Boy Scouts. Right? Clearly they don't understand the gravity of the situation for someone with severe, life threatening food allergies. Any parent who's watched their child go into anaphylaxis gets it. We have to be high alert All. The. Time. It never stops. Family gatherings, social events, sports events. But of all the times we have to be on high alert, anything involving food is the worst. Restaurants, camps - we are putting all of our trust in the people feeding our kids. Our kids' lives are in their hands. If they snicker, or laugh, or blow us off... Our kids could suffer severe consequences. Our families could suffer tremendously. Boy Scouts wouldn't encourage laughing at a parent attempting to keep their kid safe, either, would they? Wouldn't that be a type of bullying behavior? Don't Boy Scouts have some sort of policy against bullying? Yep, I sound like the militant food allergy mommy here. But OP, your story has been on my radar from the beginning and I *hate* the way you were treated. Finding out that it was intentional, that the camp director ignored your attempts at contact on purpose... I am steaming mad for you. Not just for you, but for *all* kids with food allergies and the parents who keep them safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Sounds like people have gotten attention by posting on Facebook pages as well. Does BSA have a wall where you can post your story and complaint? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Huge hugs! Our local troop and camp are good, but we still sent dh along to camp this year along with safe snack food Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I have had this info for a few weeks but I get so angry when I talk about it it's taken me awhile to post. I want to post b/c I want to make sure people know about this Scout Camp. So ds survived the camp. But I should be thankful. A few weeks ago at our scout meeting the scoutmaster came in to the committee meeting and a comment was made about camps/food and my son. I went on to say I was glad he lived but it felt like the camp director pretty much ignored my request for information. Scoutmaster chuckles and says to me that yes, the director pretty much ignored me on purpose. I WAS LIVID. I had asked this scoutmaster to have a talk before I sent Ds up there since he was going to see the camp director. Scoutmaster said he never got a chance....but as he was talking about my emails being laughed at I realized he too thought I was just overreacting about the food allergies. They laughed too(all adults who went) about how they wanted to wrap his chair to prevent cross contamination which just shows how stupid they all are about food allergies. I mentioned the kid who died at camp this summer from one bite of food....and her parents were on site. It shut them up. I realize now the scoutmaster didn't have my son's best interest at heart. He didn't really care about my concerns. The camp director didn't really care about my concerns. Kids do die at camp from food allergies and I plan on writing a letter to council about everyone's behavior very soon. (I need ds to get his merit badges at the COH in a few weeks first before we officially quit) Anyway, DO NOT send your food allergy kid to BAYPORT Scout camp in Virginia. The director Matt doesn't care about your food allergy kid. He will ignore requests for information. Who knows what the kitchen staff did.....luckily ds chose to live off his snacks he brought. He said he felt safer and now I realize why. Dh said the director was nice to him but now we know it was all just a farce. I couldn't believe how our Scoutmaster just laughed and made jokes about it. Ds asked to quit scouts.....a lot of reasons. We are sad but I am so ticked off at the scoutmaster for not doing his part when asked that we would be leaving this troop regardless. Ds wants to just camp as a family again. Can't blame him. Every camping trip was a huge issue anyway in regards to his food allergies. Even though we offered to just send him alternative food they made it into a huge drama. But the camp situation didn't sit right with me all summer.....and I wasn't crazy....the director just chose to think me crazy and ignore me!!!! It's sad, but until a kid gets seriously hurt or killed from their negligence nothing will change there. And this is why my son will never go camping without my husband. He's attended numerous summer camps, all with promises of accommodating his food allergies, and they never have. I always send about $100 worth of food to make sure he has something to eat. He doesn't even go camping with his troop without my husband because I cannot trust those men, nice as they may be, with my son's life. Heck, they can't handle the administrative duties of the troop half the time, let alone make sure my son is given food that is safe for him. Sorry for your experience, but I'm glad your son is okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I would write letters all the way up the chain of command, and also to any advocacy groups, and to the news. Public attention usually shames people into not being the little *&^%& they are being. Shame on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Along the lines of passive aggressive letters, etc, sites, I really think someone needs to start an "allergy page of shame" for people to post the horror stories of dealing with food allergies and dealing with 'meanies'. Just a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Yes, he kept telling me they can handle food allergies but when I asked what they do to identify these kids and how they prep food or ingredient lists he just stopped communicating with me. I feel like if they can handle it, they would have answers!!!! I did sent dh and loads of food for ds. But he said he didn't ever want to go to camp again. It's going to be ok, he's quitting scouts and we are camping as a family again. I like that. But it's sad he's giving up something we truly believe is good for him. Of course I am just now realizing this week how many clothes he didn't come up with.....how do you lose that many pairs of shirts and shorts??? Yes, this was my experience. I kept calling and emailing, only to be told that they handle food allergies all the time, that the staff are knowledgeable, that my child will be "fine." They were unable to answer my specific questions, unable to produce a response from the cook (you know, the one who actually handles the food--oy), and irritated that I wasn't satisfied with their vague non-answers. It wasn't until my last conversation with the camp director that I got anywhere at all--and even then, I was so wigged out by the under-response that I could only contemplate sending ds because dh was going too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running the race Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I know how it feels to be dismissed and treated as a smother mother. Most people don't get food allergies. It is nearly impossible to get decent information about food beforehand. My son is now 17. He went to four different places this summer. Thankfully, he never had a reaction anywhere. I also have a problem with my 17yo not taking it seriously enough. That's what concerns me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 How frustrating. My kids don't have food allergies, but I have some food intolerances I'm trying to navigate and it is not fun to eat anywhere outside of my home, so I can kinda relate. I would totally write a letter and complain this is not ok at all. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Oh man! I am livid for you. I am sick of the BSA and how they treat any mother who has concerns as a helicopter mom. I dealt with that at my son's troop over and over again regarding a different kind of health issue (and the fact that we homeschool.) For many years, my husband had to go on campouts to make sure that things were safe. I agree with PPs that you should write letters up the chain of command including lots of stories of food allergy deaths. I think getting the media involved is important as well. Please do contact the troop and ask for your son's clothes back. I would suspect that this could have been a form of bullying, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Do you know the COR for your troop? I would impress the dangers upon that person and how ignoring life threatening allergies threatens their charter and puts the chartering organization at risk for a lawsuit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I am so sorry this happened to you and am thankful your son came home safe. I can understand your frustration and anger -- I have encountered people who think I overreact about ds' life-threatening food allergies. There needs to be a lot more education out there because so many people don't understand. It can make life very difficult for those of us who only want to ensure our kids experience normal childhood activities without their lives being in danger. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted August 22, 2013 Author Share Posted August 22, 2013 Ellen- the lost clothes are a mystery....he has no clue where he lost them. But the roommate from camp didn't come home with them either and I know he only showered once, and he never wore them to the pool(just swim trunks), so who knows where they are.... Mrs Mungo- we are new to scouts, what is a COR? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Unacceptable. I would be raising holy h*ll on social media and regular media. And I speak as a paramedic and an anaphylactic who has survived an allergy induced cardiac arrest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 COR: Chartered Organizational Representative Among other things, they sit on the local scout council. They are a good person to help evoke change in an organization when it needs to happen. Together with the Scoutmaster, they could raise the concern that the Camp Director blew off the food allergy issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted August 23, 2013 Author Share Posted August 23, 2013 COR: Chartered Organizational Representative Among other things, they sit on the local scout council. They are a good person to help evoke change in an organization when it needs to happen. Together with the Scoutmaster, they could raise the concern that the Camp Director blew off the food allergy issues. Well, based on how the scoutmaster thought it was funny the director ignored me I doubt he'd do much to help me or be on my side. That perhaps bothers me more than the director's actions. As scoutmaster he didn't look out for my son once already....don't expect him to do it now :-( I am working on a letter. The next COH is first week of Sept. I want him to get the badges he earned. At that point I plan on telling the troop he's out(his choice for other reasons) and then send the letter to the council. I know I am burning some bridges by doing this. And if he wants to do another troop luckily the other one that used to interest him is in another council. I don't know who the COR is, but I will ask someone today and see if it's someone I can trust or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Sounds like a good plan. If you want another pair of eyes to edit your letter, I am happy to help. Just pm me, or if you prefer to take it to email I an give you my addy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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