Do you lie to your children?

[Philothea]

Yesterday we went to buy a crib for the baby, from an ad on Craigslist.

 

The woman was a nice lady, affluent, educated. She had two girls probably age 4 and 6.

 

When we were loading up the crib the little girl said something like "I want to sleep in that crib, why do we have to get rid of it?"

 

To which her mother replied, "Well, when they are done with it, we will get it back from them." She gave us a wink.

 

The mother knew this wasn't true, obviously. I didn't see why she had to say this to the girl, I know I'm not the parent, but I felt she should have been honest.

 

So I'd like to know, what is the consensus around here about lying to children? I'm honestly just curious, I'm not necessarily concerned with judging other's motives or values.

[Baseballmom]

We do not lie to our children. We don't always give them all of the information, but we never outright lie to them.

Dorothy

[tibbyl]

Do you lie to your children?

 

No. In our opinion, the price you pay down the road is ultimately too high.

 

We tell the truth about whatever they ask, giving them as much information as they can handle. Of course, we try to help them deal with whatever emotion the truth may elicit.

 

Not only have we been honest factually, but we also truthfully share our opinion when asked.

 

I remember once asking my mother what "Emko foam" was; she replied that it was "something for grownups."

[Kris]

I picked "Sometimes when I think I have a good reason" -- because I would if I had to -- but I honestly can't think of a time when I've told an outright lie to my son. There have been times when I haven't told him *everything* but I don't lie to him.

 

I don't understand why she said that, either. I mean, what's the point? That situation wouldn't fall into *my* "good reason" category, but she must know something the rest of us don't. It would be interesting to know what she does in a year or two when her daughter wants to know when they're getting the crib back.

[Leighton Academy]

I try my best not to intentionally lie to my children. We don't get rid of anything that is even remotely connected to the boys without their involvement.

 

Trust is very important to me. I can't expect my kids not to lie to me if I can't extend them the same courtesy.

 

ETA: We do sometimes leave things out that we feel our kids should not know but I do tell them that there are other things involved that I do not feel is appropriate for children. I also add that I have no problem discussing things further when they are older.

[tibbyl]

Not even about Santa, Easter bunny, or other fantasies. However, we did have great fun playing the "Santa game" and egghunt game.

 

I recall being around four years old and pretending to believe in Santa so as not to disappoint other children and adults.

[WTMindy]

We do not lie to our children. We don't always give them all of the information, but we never outright lie to them.

Dorothy

 

Yes, that is how I would say it also.

[Scarlett]

I never lie to my ds. Sometimes I tell him things are 'none of your concern.' Or 'it's a private matter.' Or some such. I never lie to him. My mother taught me that. In fact, I've never known my mom to lie to me. I trusted her so much that I'm still traumatized by the little 'joke' she played on me when I was 5. She told me that if I put salt on a birds tail I could catch it. I ran around our yard all afternoon trying to sprinkle salt on birds. She still maintains that wasn't a 'lie'. I guess the fact I can still vividly remember that prank 38 years later speaks to her general honesty.

 

I was well into my 20s before it occured to me that my mom might not have told me everything she ever knew or did...but I never doubted she was telling the truth when she did tell me something.

[laughing lioness]

We have a zero tolerance zone in our home for lying.

[cin]

um, I guess I'm one of the ones who will omit the truth to keep things calm. My oldest will argue with me over anything. There are times when I just say uhhuh instead of trying to get her to see what I am saying, (if it's not important). I have also fibbed about the contents of a casserole so they will eat it, and I'm sure there's other things, I just can't think of them off the top of my head.

 

I dont' make a habit of lying. And in the situation mentioned above, I would not have lied. I think in that case, it sets up expectations, and I would never tell my children something will happen knowing that it won't.

[Tammyla]

:iagree:

We do not lie to our children. We don't always give them all of the information, but we never outright lie to them.

Dorothy

[Philothea]

I have also fibbed about the contents of a casserole so they will eat it

 

 

I have to laugh, I figured out a way to tell the children the truth about food without turning them off to it. I learn the name of the food in another language.

 

"What are these things?!" or "Is this a green bean?"

 

"Those are (cepes, haricots verts, fraises etc.) honey, they are really good for you."

 

I did not directly answer but I did not say anything that was not true. :)

[chaik76]

I voted "No, never, I try to be truthful in all matters." The key here is try! I'm sure I've messed up sometimes, but we just matter of factly tell ds the truth (no, Santa isn't real...but it's a fun way to celebrate Christmas!...no, you can't sleep in the crib. You're too big and this other lady needs it for her baby.)

But, I'm sure I mess up...this has inspired me...I'm going to watch myself over the next few days to see if I actually live up to my expectations for myself here.:D

[Desert Rat]

We still have Santa in our house but I don't consider that really lying. Lying has a different slant for me. This is perpetuating a myth, to me. I know others will disagree. So my answer is No, I TRY (stress that lots) never to lie to my boys. I will omit though and tell them it's not their business.

We've just started to have issues with my 8yo about lying but I feel we're handling it in a way that we won't have many more issues with it. At least I hope!

[Trivium Academy]

I agree. I use the words maybe and we'll see a lot with my youngest. Whenever there would be an opportunity to lie, I say that the conversation is over or something to that affect. Now, if my child brings me something just plain hideous and they are very proud of it, I will mirror their joy and excitement which could be construed as lying if you want to get technical.

[myfunnybunch]

We also fall in the camp of those who don't lie to our children. Like others, we may not necessarily share all of the details, but even then we are honest with our children that it's something private.

 

It's funny, though, the poll made me realize that I just haven't thought of Santa and the Easter Bunny (tooth fairy, blowing away the bad dreams, wishing on a star) as lying. Not that it hasn't occurred to me at all--it's a conscious choice. I'm not saying others should feel the same way, btw, nor am I wishing to debate whether I'm right or wrong. We've always thought of them as fantasies, pretend games, and told our children the truth when they asked. :-)

 

Cat

[Storm Bay]

Lie--no. We don't even do Santa, etc. However, I feel free to not tell them everything, particularly if it will cause worry, anxiety, nagging, etc.

 

We're going to surprise them with a trip to see my family this summer, but dh is staying home. When they ask to go I tell them our big trip was to Mexico, which is true--it cost my parents way, way more & we've never done 2 really big trips in one year. I tell them we'll go someday. True. I will be driving with them to see my brother in Kamloops, so I tell them we're going on a driving trip somewhere & the dates, but not to where.

 

But I also do this with other things. When I heard that the little girl down the street was diagnosed with a metastisized sarcoma, I only told them she had cancer and would need a miracle to survive, because at that time it was all her siblings knew, minus the miracle part. No point in having them spill the worst before their parents told them. It was better, anyway, to have them learn in stages in this case.

 

But when my kids ask me direct questions I don't lie. Sometimes I tell them they have to wait until they're older and they vehemently disagree, but I don't want or need my 8 yo lying sleepless night after night worrying over things that are highly unlikely to ever happen to him.

[Jennifer in NH]

I had to say, sometimes...generally, no...not even Santa, tooth fairy etc...

But...when they were little and scared of monsters in the night...the "there are no monsters" wasn't working..so I lied and told them that Monsters are scared of dogs and the dogs would bark if they came near...okay...tell me how bad that was....it would, they slept..

Mostly, though I don't lie...and as others have sad, I do leave things out every now and again that they are too young for...

I have tried to teach them not to lie, unless it is for saving a life...you knw, like the people that hid Anne frank and her family during WWII..I guess they lied all the time, but it was to save innocent life, etc...okay, now I'm a bit off topic..sorry.

Jenny

[Mama Lynx]

I agree. I use the words maybe and we'll see a lot with my youngest. Whenever there would be an opportunity to lie, I say that the conversation is over or something to that affect. Now, if my child brings me something just plain hideous and they are very proud of it, I will mirror their joy and excitement which could be construed as lying if you want to get technical.

 

Exactly. I don't always give the whole truth, but certainly I would not have given the answer that mother gave to her kids. That was an outright lie, based on nothing but the mother's convenience (occasionally there *are* good reasons to lie, but only very occasionally). I often use "maybe," "we'll see," "we'll have to think about it," ... or "that's for grown-ups," or "Yes, I know that's true, but we don't say it because sometimes we don't say the truth in front of people in order to also be polite and kind ..." (lol). And we do Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, although we don't go to any lengths to hide what's really going on.

 

Never, never an outright lie like that.

[Tap]

I do lie to the kids when I need too. I have a 9yo dd who questions everything. She likes details so a brush off, vague response doesn't work with her. If you don't answer her questions, then she will ask other people. To top it off, when she was small, she like to share her knowledge with strangers, neighbors and anyone who would listen. She is a lot better about it now and she can self sensor much better but there were a few times when she was little that she made me want to crawl under a rock.

 

Recently when dh had several appointments, ultrasounds, ct scans, and such for a testicular cancer scare, I told her it was his toe that the doctor was looking at. For various reasons we went with him, but waited in the lobby for a few appointments. Did it hurt her to not know the truth? No. Did it save dh a potentially embarrassing situation without having to answer questions from a well meaning neighbor, stranger, or friend... who dd would have undoubtedly shared her information with....absolutely.

 

We don't usually do it, but on occasion...you bet, I lie!

[beansprouts]

At this point, I have not found it necessary to flat out lie to my children. I do omit information, and will even tell 9 year old dd that she does not need to know everything yet. I also find distraction is my friend ;) "Another little baby needs the crib now, isn't that exciting?? Look, honey it's the ice cream man!"

 

We still have Santa in our house but I don't consider that really lying. Lying has a different slant for me. This is perpetuating a myth, to me. I know others will disagree. So my answer is No, I TRY (stress that lots) never to lie to my boys. I will omit though and tell them it's not their business.

We've just started to have issues with my 8yo about lying but I feel we're handling it in a way that we won't have many more issues with it. At least I hope!

 

I don't think it is the same thing either. When dd was 3 years old, she knew all about Santa not being real. I taught her that it was just a game we like to play at Christmas. Then the Christmas after she turned five she told me "I want to pretend that Santa is real!" So we did. That year and inthe years that have followed we have played up the "Santa game" and had a blast with it. I think for a time she forgot it was only a game.

 

My 4 year old does believe in Santa, but I have learned that it is because they want to believe and enjoy the game and not because they have been decieved. My 9 year old figured out this year that Santa and the Tooth Fairy are just pretend, and she is okay with it. I think she is looking forward to entertaining her little brothers with the "Santa Claus" game this year. ;)

 

Recently when dh had several appointments, ultrasounds, ct scans, and such for a testicular cancer scare, I told her it was his toe that the doctor was looking at. For various reasons we went with him, but waited in the lobby for a few appointments. Did it hurt her to not know the truth? No. Did it save dh a potentially embarrassing situation without having to answer questions from a well meaning neighbor, stranger, or friend... who dd would have undoubtedly shared her information with....absolutely.

 

We don't usually do it, but on occasion...you bet, I lie!

 

I can see why you would. I have not had a situation like this come up yet, so I am not sure how I would handle it (besides buying lots of ice cream... :lol:)

[PariSarah]

We have a strict "No Deliberate Misinformation" policy, which includes half-truths, lies of omission, fairy tales not specifically labeled as such (e.g., Santa or the Tooth Fairy), and irresponsible oversimplification.

 

If there's something that I can't or don't wish to share with them, I'm generally pretty open about why: "There's more to it than that, but that's all an 8yo needs to know" or "I'm happy to talk about that with you when so-and-so is in the room, and she can participate in the conversation too; otherwise, it's gossiping" or "That's between Daddy and me."

 

However, I'm pretty good (cringe) at spin doctoring, which some people might find uncomfortably close to lying. I'm also currently trying to practice the spiritual discipline of truthful-but-kind speech, which sometimes involves exaggerating the importance of a true but insignificant fact. ("OMG, isn't that the trashiest dress you ever saw?? How dare she wear that to her own daughter's wedding?!?!" "Ah . . . well, . . . uh, . . . red certainly is a good color for her skin tone.") This, too, involves something that might be called lying if I were doing it with the intent to deceive.

[nakitty]

I lie when I feel I need to....but, in matters of importance....I am completely honest with them. White lies, I suppose it what you would call them...and maybe it is just me being lazy....sure, I will own that. :lol:

[beansprouts]

This, too, involves something that might be called lying if I were doing it with the intent to deceive.

 

I think the intent to decieve is key here, as well as the motive behind the lie. I don't actually think all lies are wrong. Where a lie is told to protect others, like the Israelite midwives or those hiding Jews during the holocaust, I think there is a greater good.

 

But I wouldn't compare the fib told for the sake of convenience to either of these. I guess that is a totally different discussion. ;)

[tibbyl]

Well, now I have to retract my "we never lie...." statement. Many years ago, I unwisely did lead the children to briefly believe that car would not start unless they were properly secured in safety restraints. Of course, they quickly figured out that I had set a bad example.

[Scarlett]

"Yes, I know that's true, but we don't say it because sometimes we don't say the truth in front of people in order to also be polite and kind ..."

 

This reminds me of the time ds, about 7 at the time, heard dh and I discussing his mother and dh called her crazy. And she is. However, ds said, 'Grandmother is crazy?' I said, 'yes, she is. But we don't tell her because we dont' want to hurt her feelings.' :lol:

[lynn]

Not for something like OP was talking about. Now if you count if they just guessed what their Christmas gift was and I play around with that then yes I guess I do but I try to be as honest with them in all things as possible. We have some grandparents issues and I decided I will not make "lies" ahem....excuses for them anylong with my older 2 boys I do remind them that although my parents may make choices we don't like they never forget their birthday and always send them individual Christmas cards with a cash gift.

[swellmomma]

I do lie to my children at times. For example, I tell them Santa, the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny are real. I also lie when it comes to medical treatment. So when DS got stitches last week, I told himt he dr was just checking the wound when in fact she was putting the stitches in. He could feel the pressure but no pain, he was afraid of the stitches to to alleviate that fear I lied about when she was doing it. I also lie to my older kids about their dad, this is because he has not been in their lives for 7 years, so instead of admitting the truth that he is a deadbeat, which would hurt them. I tell them how much he loves them etc.

[clwcain]

We don't lie to our kids.

 

I've never considered the existence of Father Christmas or the Easter Bell*, and tales about such, to fall into the category of lies. They are fables. Therein lies a world of difference.

 

I've never understood the Santa Tales = Lies POV.

 

===CC warning===

*And, before you ask, the Easter Bell is what visits our house rather than some escapee of a production of Harvey. The Bells all fly to Rome on the night of Maundy Thursday and they return during the Easter Vigil, bringing good things from Rome with them for Easter Sunday morning.

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm in the may withhold info, but we don't lie. I really have not yet found a reason to lie to them. I most likely share too much with them. Verbal diarrhea is my middle name. :lol:

[PariSarah]

. . . after we had already convinced ds that it was incredibly unsafe to pull of on the side of the road. He kept just wanting us to pull over, just for fun. "Mommy, pull over?" "NO, NO. We could NEVER do that. It's VERY unsafe. Another car might forget to pay attention and might run into you!!"

 

So the first time he tried to unbuckle his seatbelt, we pulled over. He started screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO! It's UNSAAAAAAAAAAFE!!!" We heartlessly insisted that we would stay there until his belt was buckled. He complied, and sobbed pretty much the whole rest of the trip to g'moms.:auto:

 

Mwa ha ha ha ha.

:D

[Phred]

For all of you that say you do not lie to your children...

Do you tell them that God is a person and he exists without equivocation?

 

 

For those of you that said you won't lie to them about Santa or the Easter Bunny...

The same... do you tell them about God as if he is real without noting any difference between "believe" and "is"?

 

 

God is a belief, not a fact. I know of no denomination that can prove God exists, it's faith. And that's the point, isn't it?

 

Children have an awfully hard time when they find out something they believe in isn't real... I'm thinking of Santa here. When they do... they try to hold onto that belief even in the face of their peers (usually) telling them that Santa is false. But they can't distinguish between "I believe in" and "That is real"...

 

So how do you handle that... or do you care?

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

. . . after we had already convinced ds that it was incredibly unsafe to pull of on the side of the road. He kept just wanting us to pull over, just for fun. "Mommy, pull over?" "NO, NO. We could NEVER do that. It's VERY unsafe. Another car might forget to pay attention and might run into you!!"

 

So the first time he tried to unbuckle his seatbelt, we pulled over. He started screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO! It's UNSAAAAAAAAAAFE!!!" We heartlessly insisted that we would stay there until his belt was buckled. He complied, and sobbed pretty much the whole rest of the trip to g'moms.:auto:

 

Mwa ha ha ha ha.

:D

 

Ummm hmmm. Separated at birth, we were. :D

[newlifemom]

For all of you that say you do not lie to your children...

Do you tell them that God is a person and he exists without equivocation?

 

 

For those of you that said you won't lie to them about Santa or the Easter Bunny...

The same... do you tell them about God as if he is real without noting any difference between "believe" and "is"?

 

 

God is a belief, not a fact. I know of no denomination that can prove God exists, it's faith. And that's the point, isn't it?

 

Children have an awfully hard time when they find out something they believe in isn't real... I'm thinking of Santa here. When they do... they try to hold onto that belief even in the face of their peers (usually) telling them that Santa is false. But they can't distinguish between "I believe in" and "That is real"...

 

So how do you handle that... or do you care?

 

I tell them that I believe in Him unequivocally, and others do not. I share the logic behind it. I also do not tell them Santa Claus is real or the Easter Bunny etc. We do have Christmas stockings though:D.

[Jenny in Atl]

For all of you that say you do not lie to your children...

Do you tell them that God is a person and he exists without equivocation?

 

 

For those of you that said you won't lie to them about Santa or the Easter Bunny...

The same... do you tell them about God as if he is real without noting any difference between "believe" and "is"?

 

 

God is a belief, not a fact. I know of no denomination that can prove God exists, it's faith. And that's the point, isn't it?

 

Children have an awfully hard time when they find out something they believe in isn't real... I'm thinking of Santa here. When they do... they try to hold onto that belief even in the face of their peers (usually) telling them that Santa is false. But they can't distinguish between "I believe in" and "That is real"...

 

So how do you handle that... or do you care?

 

Since I tend to be agnostic... I just say, I don't know, what do you think?

[Phred]

Since I tend to be agnostic... I just say, I don't know, what do you think?

I'm curious... what do they think? :bigear:

[Joanne]

By some definitions, apparently I do. ;)

 

By my own definition, I try very hard not to.

 

I have my own "lying pet peeves" which may not line up with the specifics of other parents.

 

I don't consider Santa, Tooth Fairy or God to be a lie.

 

I lie through omission about their Dad. It's the only appropriate way to handle a situation I'd rather not be in.

 

My own lying pet peeves are parents who lie in seeking truth (ask a question they know the answer to), who lie/be vague about sex/biology questions, some situations with health - I believe kids need to know the truth or very close to it in most cases.

[Jenny in Atl]

I'm curious... what do they think? :bigear:

 

So far they are agnostic as well. We all agree that we don't believe in the Judeo-Christian myths (even though we celebrate many of them as traditions, even like going to Mass) or any other creation myths as fact. Instead we are open to the view that there is "something" well beyond our understanding, and what ever it is, has yet to be discovered and may never be.

 

I want them to feel free to search for life's meaning and embrace the realm of possibilities. Both think there is life on other planets (not in our SS). We love science in this house and take the view that man knows only a tiny pinprick of the info and experiences out there in the Universe. I don't see us as worshipers of science either, like many of faith charge. I like to say, we are just open. It's rather a nice place to be.

[Sasharowan]

The only lies we tell are obvious, like we're having alligator for dinner when they ask for the 569230 time.

[newlifemom]

for the 569230 time.

 

Isn't that a lie?:D:lol:

[melmac]

I'm with you on this, sometimes it seems some people just find it easier to lie than actually deal with the situation and the child's emotions.

 

 

Yesterday we went to buy a crib for the baby, from an ad on Craigslist.

 

The woman was a nice lady, affluent, educated. She had two girls probably age 4 and 6.

 

When we were loading up the crib the little girl said something like "I want to sleep in that crib, why do we have to get rid of it?"

 

To which her mother replied, "Well, when they are done with it, we will get it back from them." She gave us a wink.

 

The mother knew this wasn't true, obviously. I didn't see why she had to say this to the girl, I know I'm not the parent, but I felt she should have been honest.

 

So I'd like to know, what is the consensus around here about lying to children? I'm honestly just curious, I'm not necessarily concerned with judging other's motives or values.

[tibbyl]

For all of you that say you do not lie to your children...

Do you tell them that God is a person and he exists without equivocation?

 

 

For those of you that said you won't lie to them about Santa or the Easter Bunny...

The same... do you tell them about God as if he is real without noting any difference between "believe" and "is"?

 

 

God is a belief, not a fact. I know of no denomination that can prove God exists, it's faith. And that's the point, isn't it?

 

Children have an awfully hard time when they find out something they believe in isn't real... I'm thinking of Santa here. When they do... they try to hold onto that belief even in the face of their peers (usually) telling them that Santa is false. But they can't distinguish between "I believe in" and "That is real"...

 

So how do you handle that... or do you care?

 

Thought provoking question, Phred.

 

In short, we did not teach them that gods exist but rather that many people throughout history have held various god beliefs. From a cultural and historical perspective, we taught the kids about the gods/goddesses, creation myths and basic tenets of the Abrahamic monotheistic religions, Buddhism, Hinduism, native peoples' spiritualities, earth-based faiths, etc. Of course, we spent considerably more time on Christianity since it is dominant faith of their culture.

 

We never told them what, if anything, to believe. I do not recall them ever saying that one story sounded more believable than another, but they were quick to pick up on the common elements of various faiths' fables. Instead we taught them to think critically and to seek out evidence, particularly for fantastic claims. I facilitated any interest they had in exploring various faiths.

 

When they asked their father or me exactly what we believed about the existence of this god or that one, we answered honestly.

 

Back to the Santa Claus story ... others here have stated that they do not consider the Santa story a lie. My position is that it matters not how parent perceives it but how their particular child will perceive it.

[Storm Bay]

I think the intent to decieve is key here, as well as the motive behind the lie. I don't actually think all lies are wrong. Where a lie is told to protect others, like the Israelite midwives or those hiding Jews during the holocaust, I think there is a greater good.

 

But I wouldn't compare the fib told for the sake of convenience to either of these. I guess that is a totally different discussion. ;)

 

This has come up here, since my dd's read the Bible & I've taught a fair bit on Rahab who lied when they came to find the spies. But there is a specific context of saving lives of good guys here.

[Rosyl]

I don't lie to them. I use the need to know policy: if they need to know, I'll tell them--if they don't I won't.

[Storm Bay]

For all of you that say you do not lie to your children...

Do you tell them that God is a person and he exists without equivocation?

 

 

For those of you that said you won't lie to them about Santa or the Easter Bunny...

The same... do you tell them about God as if he is real without noting any difference between "believe" and "is"?

 

 

God is a belief, not a fact. I know of no denomination that can prove God exists, it's faith. And that's the point, isn't it?

 

Children have an awfully hard time when they find out something they believe in isn't real... I'm thinking of Santa here. When they do... they try to hold onto that belief even in the face of their peers (usually) telling them that Santa is false. But they can't distinguish between "I believe in" and "That is real"... But if you're teaching your kids any form of abiogenesis, are you careful to point out it's only a theory & can't be proven?

 

So how do you handle that... or do you care?

 

 

No, I've never told my kids God is a person because He isn't. And what you don't understand is that God has proven Himself to me even if I can't prove it to you, nor do I feel a need to. Santa has never done that. But you also have to understand very well is that all my kids know that ultimately, their faith rests with them. Nor do I feel a need to pray for your soul, so you won't hear me preach that; I do pray for those who hunger & thirst after righteousness...

[autumndivona]

We don't even lie about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but actually explain their origins. We don't lie to try to get something out of our son. I am more likely to tell "little white lies" to adults, however, to spare their feelings. But I prefer to be honest all the time, and one of our marital mottos is "If the truth hurts, change the truth."

[autumndivona]

So far they are agnostic as well. We all agree that we don't believe in the Judeo-Christian myths (even though we celebrate many of them as traditions, even like going to Mass) or any other creation myths as fact. Instead we are open to the view that there is "something" well beyond our understanding, and what ever it is, has yet to be discovered and may never be.

 

I want them to feel free to search for life's meaning and embrace the realm of possibilities. Both think there is life on other planets (not in our SS). We love science in this house and take the view that man knows only a tiny pinprick of the info and experiences out there in the Universe. I don't see us as worshipers of science either, like many of faith charge. I like to say, we are just open. It's rather a nice place to be.

 

:iagree:

 

We teach our son that deity is a matter of belief or faith, not fact (I personally am a Theist and do believe in a greater consciousness), and that is is up to him to explore the multitude of spiritual and religious paths out there, and come to his own conclusions (and Atheism is totally acceptable if that is the path for him). We definitely promote thinking for oneself. As far as Judeo-Christian and other mythologies, they are explained as metaphorical stories created by people of certain beliefs. Of course, delving into that is fun (I adore discussions of metaphor and theology), but our son is not quite up to those types of discussions yet!

[fosterisacoolcat]

I have been known to withhold information. I will delay answering a question to spare a nasty meltdown but, no, we try to be truthful.

[beansprouts]

Turn it around, Phred.

 

Do you lie to your children and tell them there is no God, or do you present that as merely your "belief".

 

;)

[Erica in PA]

I see no contradiction between the two....? Of course I tell my children that God is real. I have seen enough evidence of His existence in my life to know that He is real. If I were to say that He were *not* real, I would be lying. If I were to always say, "I *believe* He's real," that gives the impression that I think there's a chance He might not be... and imo, based on what I know and have experienced, there is no chance of that. I think what you're missing, Phred, is that even though I can't scientifically prove God's existence, that doesn't make me any less sure of Him. If science somehow finally proved His existence, I wouldn't be any more assured of God's existence than I am right now. There are other ways of knowing truth other than through science or observation.

 

Prove that your wife loves you (if you're married... I'm not clear on the details of your life). You could point to acts that she has done that show love-- but one could perform those acts without truly loving. All you have is the outside behavior, which doesn't prove her true heart. Science can't prove whether she loves you or not. Are you any less certain than she loves you, because you have no scientific data? No, because you *know.* Same with God. No scientific proof necessary.

 

I *know* that Santa Claus does not bring presents to our house, or have a house at the North Pole where he keeps a list of who's naughty and nice, or deliver presents on Christmas Eve. So imo, it would be lying to tell my kids that any of those things are true.

 

In both cases, I am telling my kids the truth as I know it. No contradiction there.

 

Erica