Pros and Cons of PreK and Kindergarten?

[mathmarm]

So Hubby and I are at ends on this argument. I won't say who is on which end, but here is what happened:

We were talking about methods of education (HS, PrS or PuS?) We are leaning toward a mix of 2 of them and finally, as we were preparing for bed having finally decided

 

One of us said: At least we dont have to make a decicioun for a few years.

The other one of us said: You mean several years. Jr. is slated to miss the cut off date, so he'll be 7 in 1st grade.

 

Well that opened up a great big can of worms we didn't even know we had in the house.

 

One of us puts no stock in any sort of institutionalized education before 1st grade. The other does and feels that it is important and will set Jr. up for greater success. Now we are arguing about this. Really arguing.

 

:(

 

I never thought we would argue over whether or not our son needs to start school at 3 or 7.

 

Please NOTE that Jr. is our unborn son. He is due at the end of Summer/Early Fall.

[Ellie]

FTR, there is no real evidence that supports the fact that children from stable homes benefit from preschool (I know that the trend to day is to call it "pre-kindergarten," but I've never been trendy, lol; it's just a way of making people feel better about the fact that they've sent their children away--it sounds more like formal education and less like daycare). Indeed, I cannot imagine a worse place for young children than away from their mothers and in the presence of a bunch of other little children who are also away from their mothers. (And I'm not talking about single parents who must work to support themselves and their children, bless their hearts. They have to do what they have to do.)

 

I'm assuming you mean that Jr., if he goes to an institution, will start first grade at 6 and turn 7 pretty soon thereafter. :-)

[8filltheheart]

Well 3 and 7 are both at extreme ends. How about a compromise of 5 (which is the normal age for K)?

 

I am not an advocate of institutionalized education for young kids and abhor pre-school academics, yet even with those firm beliefs, I would not put off teaching my kids until 7. ;) Also, what constitutes education? While I don't advocate "academics", I am a firm believer in the importance of learning in early childhood. I disagree with what the focus should be on. Pre-school academics as taught in pre-schools just replicate the same problems that exist in K12 education. The focus is on knowledge. Whereas, my personal belief is that critical thinking skills developed through play are more important.

 

The other argument is that you can do both. ;) My experience with my kids is that there is no long term difference between waiting and not. Starting K with no "academic" background has not hampered my kids and nor do I believe that those that have pre-school academics have any advantage over my kids.

 

But......this is an issue that you need to resolve together. The children are children of both parents, not one or the other. If this were an issue between us, I would try to find a compromise that we could both live with (like short amts of academic pre-school.) While I don't think it is necessary, I certainly don't believe it is worth creating an issue over with my spouse, either.

[AimeeM]

Hmm.

I have a good friend who is a teacher and I'll post what she often says in these sorts of arguments (she's an honest lady and I tend to think she's fairly unbiased - it isn't like she makes commission off the number of students she has, lol).

 

If you plan to send your child to a brick and mortar school at age 7, or first grade, I (she) always recommends kindergarten, if not pre k as well. Even those coming from loving, stable, involved homes tend to struggle with the workload (and will be noticeably behind the other students) of what first grade is TODAY, having never been introduced to formal academics before (assuming you aren't doing a formal kinder program at home). Remember that these days first graders are often reading fluently and working on double digit addition/subtraction, writing fairly well, etc.

 

That's what she would say (and has said many times in other forums discussing the advantages/disadvantages of early education :) Just my 2 cents.

[Scarlett]

I say it is not worth a marital argument. :)

 

I certainly would not delay teaching a child until 7....but perhaps you mean formally? My ds was reading and doing multiplication at age 4 with very little focus on that from me......well I guess ' very little' might be hard to define...but I just read to him a lot and we discussed letters and their names and sounds and we counted stuff......but I couldn't have stopped him easily....he WANTED to learn.

 

If you are going to send him to public school or private I would not wait until he is 7. But I wouldn't do 3 either. 3 to me is still a baby.

[RoundAbout]

There is a world of difference between a preschool program that is 2 mornings a week and play based vs. a full time academic preschool program. Most of my friends did the first kind of preschool, mostly so they could get a break, run errands, etc. Their kids had a great time and it helped them stay sane.

 

We did not do outside preschool and my son was with me full time at home. We put our "preschool money" towards zoo memberships, aquarium passes, ski and swim lessons, YMCA, and other fun stuff. We did weekly outings with a nature club, library story time, and lots of play dates. We also did some formal learning including phonics and math at the kitchen table and lots of fun Montessori type activities.

 

I don't think it has to be a big debate if you are choosing something part time and developmentally appropriate to their needs.

 

BTW, I have not noticed any socialization difference between my son and those kids who did part time preschool. The kids I see who went to full time care are a bit different in their sophistication about pop culture and brands, but still similar in their maturity and social skills.

[Chris in VA]

I taught preschool--and I am defining that the old-fashioned way--NOT daycare.

I'd say there's a ton you can do with threes that is not paper/worksheet based, and it's along the lines of developmentally appropriate, intentional play. That sort of preschool, only a couple or three times a week, for only 2.5-3 hours, is a good thing for many children.

 

BUT

 

Remember that most preschool activities are designed to mimick the home--housekeeping play, art, cooking, outside play, read alouds, self-care, explorations, pet care...It is all based on things a child would do at home, given involved, conscientious parents who encourage their children to live alongside them!

 

So, if you are going to stick your kid in front of the TV and never ask them to help around the house, never talk with them or read them stories, never take them anywhere, never allow messy play, never let them help you cook, never let them play outside or with others, then YES, preschool would be a good, perhaps even necessary thing.

 

But who does that? Not many. :tongue_smilie:

[wapiti]

Surely there's a potential compromise here somewhere... if you at least have agreed on public or private school for after age 7, it's quite possible to provide education at home for some time prior to that.

Note that it does not need to look like common, preconceived notions of "school" or take place within an institution to be educational. For example, from your name here, it sounds like you might be particularly interested in math. What do you think of when you think of a math program for K? It does not have to mean worksheets or long sessions! There are resources to help you talk, show and do math for K (or earlier, if you wanted) without a pencil in sight.

If you do plan on putting your child in a school, and plan to wait until 7 to do so, I would want to make sure he meets the school's end-of-K skill requirements before trying to enroll him in 1st grade. (That should be available on a district website or from the school.) Otherwise, there is a risk that the school might want to place him in K instead of 1st.

Perhaps you can break up your discussions with your spouse into three separate stages - 7 and up, 5/6, and 3/4 - or some other split. For example, you might discuss the following: When you think of K, what do you imagine? What is developmentally appropriate at the various ages (e.g. 3 is different from 4 is different from 5, etc.)? Have you really explored what the work is like at different levels at the schools that are under consideration? Have you visited classrooms?

Edited January 12, 2016 by wapiti

[boscopup]

I agree with compromise. Skip preschool, but do K (be it homeschool or b&m school). My son went to private school for K. He was ahead of most of the kids, even though he didn't go to preschool. I also didn't do preschool at home. I simply involved him in everything I did throughout the day. He also played starfall, which caused him to start reading. Now first grade... I would never suggest sticking a child with no prior formal academics into today's first grade. At least teach reading, handwriting, and basic math at home the previous year. Those things are expected to be known at the start of first grade. It's fine to wait until first at home (though I wouldn't wait until age 7), but if you plan to send him to school, start in K. Also, many schools don't allow you to start in first.

[Ellie]

We don't do preschool at home. We don't do kindergarten at home. We teach our children all the time, as parents have always done, long before there was such a thing as parents sending their young children away to an institution of some kind...where strangers teach the kinds of things the parents would be teaching themselves. We teach them to count and sort and to recognize letters and numerals and colors and to memorize their names and addresses and more. It is what parents do. :-)

 

When someone asks about "preschool," I will assume she means just that: sending her child away from home. Otherwise, she's just...parenting. She may or may not use published materials out of a box or a book, but she's still...parenting, in the best way: at home.

[mathmarm]

Hubby and I are both planning on pro-active parenting, regardless of what type of education path we pick for Jr.

 

To both of us kids are included in day to day life at home. They will walk, talk, read, and think along with their parents to navigate their day. I look at children as small human beings. Meaning they are included in discussions and life in general. It just makes the most sense to me. I have said before that Jr's math education will NOT be left to the neighborhood school, no matter what. He will be taught math at home and practice/drill math at school. Its sort of a family tradition the way we do math, and I have no intention or breaking that tradition.

 

I am not a fan of any of the math programs I see geared towards kids in the under 8 bracket. Of course a lot of things will change as I go along. I have been collecting living math books for about 2 months now and will have a sizable library for baby to enjoy as he grows.

 

Language is VERY important to us. Jr. is coming into a family that has deafness on both sides while Hubby and I have a world view. (His paternal grandparents are Deaf and will be keeping him anytime he needs a sitter. We want him 100% fluent in ASL before school--whether he goes at 3 or 7 and we would like him to learn spoken languages also, if that is a possibility for him.)

 

Neither hubby nor myself are big readers. I've never met a novel that I liked. We consume non-fiction and technical manuals and we just pick over fiction and novels. I am buying books on audio CD and working myself up to read everyday. I would like Jr. to feel a little differently about books than I do, even though I hate reading fiction. I am scared about teaching him to read. Triply so if Jr. is Deaf, but it is something I am educating myself on.

 

 

He has an aunt who runs an small private Montessori program for ages 0-6 and his Auntie is helping me mimic the program at home. It is not an argument over whether or not his education will begin at 3 or at 7. It is an argument over whether or not he should attend some sort of institution. We are leaning toward outsourcing elementary but doing middle school at home. A big part of it is the reading thing.

 

One of us feels that 1st grade should be just that--first, one of us argues that we want Jr. socialized to his family and friends and included in the Deaf community fully. Not put into the school system where they will stigmatize his Deafness and try to pressure us into all sorts of therapy for him.

 

The other one of us wants him to be in PreK and K, especially if he is hearing, so that he gets extra exposure to the hearing world and to the spoken language of English. Both Hubby and I work full time, (I'm taking time off when he's born, but will continue to work at least part time for the next few years) he'll be spending most of his time with Deaf caregivers who will love him very much but cant help him develop language skills. Also, the issue of socialization is important, since he is an only child.

 

We have considered enrolling him in his Aunties program since its Montessori and we'd get a family discount but she doesn't teach ASL. She can sign, but its not one of the priorities for her program and it is for us.

[Ellie]

It is not an argument over whether or not his education will begin at 3 or at 7. It is an argument over whether or not he should attend some sort of institution. We are leaning toward outsourcing elementary but doing middle school at home. A big part of it is the reading thing.

 

Of course. I would expect you to be educating Jr, but the truth is you'll be educating him before he is 3, whether he leaves the house to go to preschool or he waits until first grade. :-)

 

It would be great for him to be a native signer. :-)

[AdventureMoms]

I think the place to start is the details of what you are both envisioning. Is one of you thinking of full time academic preschool at 3 while the other doesn't want the child to learn the alphabet until 7? I'd bet there's more middle ground than you'd think.

[wapiti]

with Adventuremoms and 8Filltheheart - there is more middle ground than you think. 4 years is a very long developmental span.

I am not a fan of any of the math programs I see geared towards kids in the under 8 bracket. Of course a lot of things will change as I go along. I have been collecting living math books for about 2 months now and will have a sizable library for baby to enjoy as he grows.

Collecting living math books is a great idea. As for math "programs" (using that term loosely), if you haven't seen them yet, you might look into cuisenaire rods with the videos at http://www.educationunboxed.com/ and Miquon.

 

I am scared about teaching him to read. Triply so if Jr. is Deaf, but it is something I am educating myself on.

Are you saying that you don't know right now whether or not he is deaf?(!) How old is he? I'd think that would be a key piece of information before you decide anything. (If it were me, I'd want to explore all medical possibilities immediately, though I realize there may be controversy in the deaf community over some possibilities.)


On the ASL, what are the options for learning it - is there a school that teaches it? Is there a program that's not part of a school? Can the grandparents teach him? Is a personal tutor a possibility?

Edited January 12, 2016 by wapiti

[mathmarm]

Jr. is our unborn son due at the end of the summer. He will have a hearing test once he's out of the womb.

[AdventureMoms]

I just realized that this child has not been born yet. Given that, I HIGHLY recommend waiting. You have at least 3 years, right? And whether he is deaf or hearing sounds important to your decision, too. Can you agree on no school until 3 at least, and bring it back up when he is 2? I find that letting decisions like this wait makes them easier.

[wapiti]

Oh! Ok. Well then, congratulations on your pregnancy and best wishes for an easy, safe delivery. There's nothing wrong with planning ahead, though it seems there's much for which you'll have to cross the bridge when you come to it. My advice is to enjoy these moments, both now and while your baby is an infant and toddler, as they are fleeting.

[SKL]

I sent my kids to preschool at 2.5 / almost 3. It wasn't really for the academics, but more for the exposure to other kids/adults/ideas. It was a good thing for them, and I think it would be good for most kids, at least on a part-time basis. I wouldn't wait beyond age 4 for their first group activity, especially if they didn't have any siblings close in age. I completely disagree that a child of that age is at a disadvantage for not being with his mother 24/7.

[boscopup]

If he's not even born yet, you have plenty of time to make a decision. It may be easier when you have real Jr. in front of you instead of theoretical Jr. that you don't know much about yet. ;)

 

I still think K would be the best compromise, and it's snack dab in the middle of 3 and 7. ;) Also, the hearing status may affect your decisions, so it makes sense to wait until you know about that before you worry about it.

 

And again... You may not have the option of putting him directly into a public school first grade. I wouldn't count on being able to do that, regardless of the state laws about age of attendance. Another thing is that your state may change the law before you get there. My state had an age of 7, but it's now 6 as of last year.

[SKL]

If you teach your child ASL from infancy, you won't need him to be exposed to ASL in a preschool program. (Assuming he isn't deaf.)

[SKL]

Boscopup makes a good point. In my state, K wasn't required until recently. Now it's the law that you send your kid to K before 1st. Also, the transition to institutional learning is not something to take lightly. Even my daughter, who attended K, had a very rough transition to 1st because it was in a different school. Her K class size, structure, routine was so completely different and she was at a big disadvantage compared to the other 1st graders who had attended K just across the hall. The school rules, the process for switching classes for specials, even the intensity of the lights and sounds make a big difference for some kids. Granted, we don't know if your individual child will have this problem, but in my opinion it's quite risky to just drop him into 1st grade and see how he does. The expectations will be high. Before the 1st semester was over, my dd had served her first 1 hour detention. Her grades in music and art were docked because she didn't sit down and listen fast enough. The teacher complained about how often she wanted a bathroom break. Her teachers got a bad first impression that now hangs over her like a cloud, though the problem behaviors are all in the past. And this is a kid who had stellar behavior in KG. So . . . just a word to the wise. :)

[MistyMountain]

Do you mean sending him to a brick and mortar school or teaching him? You don't have to send him to a preschool especially right at 3 if you don't want to but I don't recommend waiting until 7 until you do any more formal learning. I actually recommend teaching kids right from the start but in laid back manner. You don't need to use a formal curriculum but you can still teach them stuff. If I could go back I would have done more with my oldest.

[nmoira]

One option for homeschool is calling read alouds and nature walks and everyday life "Charlotte Mason." In this scenario, taking about things we hear and see becomes "informal narration."

[Ellie]

If you teach your child ASL from infancy, you won't need him to be exposed to ASL in a preschool program. (Assuming he isn't deaf.)

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[Lang Syne Boardie]

thought better of this post, wishing the OP the best

[PentecostalMom]

Ummm, I say wait until said dc is born, find out about the hearing issue (if there even is one), and leave this argument for another day.....several years from now.

 

I don't intend to discount your thinking, planning, and discussing ahead, but some things you just can't plan for. You will have some answers to your questions after the baby is born, and you never know how actually raising the wonderful child may change your plans. You know, "the bst laid plans" and all that.

 

Just let it rest, take it one day at a time, and just enjoy the infancy of this beautiful blessing and pick up this discussion again when he is 2 or so. :)

[Ruby Rose]

Step 1: have the baby.

Step 2: follow his lead.

 

You can plan, plan, plan, but parenthood is a fly by the seat of your pants endeavor. Def not worth an argument at this point. You will make the right decision when the time comes. :)

 

[PeterPan]

This is totally absurd. One, you're full of pregnancy hormones and arguing something that isn't even an issue. Two, you're making an argument something that YOU'RE GOING TO WIN simply by virtue of your cunning and wiles. What YOU think as the mom is what's going to happen, because YOU'RE going to be the one at home doing it. So you don't call it preschool. So it's: OF COURSE I READ BOOKS TO MY KID. And it's not preschool, it's: OF COURSE I TEACH HIM HIS ALPHABET and sign language and little poems or verses to memorize. And so it's not preschool but: ooo look at us playing store today with our play money and cash register!

 

OF COURSE you're going to do "preschool" things with him, because that's what moms do when they have time. You'll read to him and interact with him and talk about colors and go to the zoo and all these other things. My dd tested into 1st grade math in K5, never did preschool. We just answered her questions. You can't hold some kids back.

 

The REAL question is how much you're going to KICK yourself if your blessed dc turns out to have some learning disabilities or developmental differences that you delayed identifying because you were so freaked out about holding to someone's theoretical model of when things happen. If the dc asks, you answer his questions. When you can, you do enriching things together that grow his language, his social skills, etc. And if he's NOT developing on a typical path with his peers, you don't get into some lunatic circle that says it doesn't matter because in the old days kids didn't have to learn to read till they were in 1st and he's going into 1st when he's 7 and so we don't care that he can't xyz. That's how you end up missing developmental vision problems, attention problems, phonemic awareness problems, etc. etc. So you WANT to know if he's way off of developmental norms. And if your SO has this in his craw, maybe it's time to see where he's coming from. Not everybody has happy memories of K5. Sometimes those reasons and issues are in their genes and crop up in the dc you end up teaching. So that's where you sit back and ask WHY this person feels so strongly about this. That WHY will be much more informative than merely making a theoretical decision that isn't formed by looking at the dc in front of you.

 

And for what it's worth, I have a dc with a fall birthday, meaning he'll be 7 going into 1st grade also. I couldn't NOT teach him math if I tried, because the child wakes me up asking to skip count and teach him money and teach him to tell time. Not to answer his questions and work with him would be absurd. And we taught him his letters and sounds, because he needed them for speech therapy. And I watch developmental norms like fine motor skills, because I know he's low tone. I look at the dc in front of me. I don't rush things, but I also answer his questions. I'm developmentally appropriate, not pushy. I recognize his short attention span and use that extra year window to give him time to mature, but reality is he still has a lot of go bugs.

 

And you know my dh has NO SAY in that. I'M the one that is home, so I'M the magic making things happen. *I* read him the Hobbit and put on memory work and get him interested in history with Playmobil egyptian sets. I skip counted to him while changing his diapers for years so he'd find it interesting and just a curious game. As the Mom, *I* set the stage. Not pushy, not developmentally inappropriate, just fun and natural, that of course that's what we do in our home. You'll find your way with those things too.

[kubiac]

Even if you guys hate reading novels, good children's picture books can be another thing entirely. If you can bear it, use the time before your kiddo is born to acquire and read through the following, both of which get my highest recommendation:

 

* The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease

&

* Babies Need Books by Dorothy Butler

 

Both are absolutely inspirational, and quite pleasant to read at that.

 

As for your other concerns, a couple of mornings a week of playgroup/playschool/preschool is only going to be a bonus for all of you. Your little person will have his school friends and his adored teachers and will get exposed to that many more experiences, all of which are good for cognitive and social development! Very early "school" is a lot about cooperation, listening skills, conflict resolution, personal hygiene and new ways to play. Test the waters with a toddler group and see what makes you feel safe, but I think you'll find that a few hours a week of nursery school (maybe even in a coop environment, if they have that in your area?) are only for the good.

 

Edit to add:

P.S. Do you already know about the Signing Time program? Absolutely magical. http://www.rachelcol...om/leahs-story/ They air them on PBS early mornings. You might want to DVR a few if you have time and see what you think.

 

P.S.2. I have absolute no credentials in educating deaf children, but I did once read a wonderful book called In Silence by Ruth Sidransky, about being raised as the hearing child of two deaf parents. When she arrived in school she had problems speaking clearly because she'd been surrounded by the deaf community her whole life. She was initially put in a classroom for the developmentally disabled, but her mother heard about this and marched into school to set them straight. A sympathetic school principal understood the issue and told the parents to immediately purchase a radio for their daughter; Ruth was then able to listen to typical spoken English at home and self-correct her pronunciation. I always thought that was such a clever solution on the part of the principal.

 

P.S.3. If you want to sign and read at the same, buy a $10 book stand at the office-supply store. It frees up your hands (except for page turning) so you can sign and show the child the book at the same time.

[PeterPan]

Hubby and I are both planning on pro-active parenting, regardless of what type of education path we pick for Jr.

 

To both of us kids are included in day to day life at home. They will walk, talk, read, and think along with their parents to navigate their day. I look at children as small human beings. Meaning they are included in discussions and life in general. It just makes the most sense to me. I have said before that Jr's math education will NOT be left to the neighborhood school, no matter what. He will be taught math at home and practice/drill math at school. Its sort of a family tradition the way we do math, and I have no intention or breaking that tradition.

 

I am not a fan of any of the math programs I see geared towards kids in the under 8 bracket. Of course a lot of things will change as I go along. I have been collecting living math books for about 2 months now and will have a sizable library for baby to enjoy as he grows.

 

Language is VERY important to us. Jr. is coming into a family that has deafness on both sides while Hubby and I have a world view. (His paternal grandparents are Deaf and will be keeping him anytime he needs a sitter. We want him 100% fluent in ASL before school--whether he goes at 3 or 7 and we would like him to learn spoken languages also, if that is a possibility for him.)

 

Neither hubby nor myself are big readers. I've never met a novel that I liked. We consume non-fiction and technical manuals and we just pick over fiction and novels. I am buying books on audio CD and working myself up to read everyday. I would like Jr. to feel a little differently about books than I do, even though I hate reading fiction. I am scared about teaching him to read. Triply so if Jr. is Deaf, but it is something I am educating myself on.

 

 

He has an aunt who runs an small private Montessori program for ages 0-6 and his Auntie is helping me mimic the program at home. It is not an argument over whether or not his education will begin at 3 or at 7. It is an argument over whether or not he should attend some sort of institution. We are leaning toward outsourcing elementary but doing middle school at home. A big part of it is the reading thing.

 

One of us feels that 1st grade should be just that--first, one of us argues that we want Jr. socialized to his family and friends and included in the Deaf community fully. Not put into the school system where they will stigmatize his Deafness and try to pressure us into all sorts of therapy for him.

 

The other one of us wants him to be in PreK and K, especially if he is hearing, so that he gets extra exposure to the hearing world and to the spoken language of English. Both Hubby and I work full time, (I'm taking time off when he's born, but will continue to work at least part time for the next few years) he'll be spending most of his time with Deaf caregivers who will love him very much but cant help him develop language skills. Also, the issue of socialization is important, since he is an only child.

 

We have considered enrolling him in his Aunties program since its Montessori and we'd get a family discount but she doesn't teach ASL. She can sign, but its not one of the priorities for her program and it is for us.

 

Ok, can we back up here?

 

1. Are either of the parents deaf?

2. Are either of you planning on staying home with him at all from ages 0-5 or 6?

3. You think it genetically very likely he will be deaf?

4. What do you mean that family on both sides are deaf but you and dh have a world view?

 

You do not need to mimic a montessori preschool. You will naturally do those things at home. Preschool imitates life. Just let him live and do things with you and buy him toys and play together. You're going to be fine.

 

Have you read the interview with the lady who made the Signing Time videos about how she raised her dd? She was very pro-active on language exposure. She required the schools to include in the IEP that her dd had not 1 but *2* signing people in her classrooms so she could see LANGUAGE, fluent language. As you're figuring out, creating a language rich environment is one of your big goals. I would not leave a hearing dc with a deaf sitter all day. If you yourself are deaf and do not speak and wish to homeschool, well that's an additional challenge. I know we have at least one deaf mother here on the boards. She may or may not notice your thread. If you can't read aloud, that's not a deal breaker. Lots of moms have reasons why that doesn't work. They might be tired or busy or whatever. So you get books on tape, lots and lots of books on tape, and you have those books on tape playing in the background several hours a day while he plays. Same deal with foreign language tapes (Muzzy, Learnables, etc.). You're creating a language rich environment. It doesn't mean you have to read all the stuff to him. You can get books through the library, Your Story Hour tapes, etc. That's not a dealbreaker.

 

I'll see if I can find that interview. You might find it very inspiring. You seem to have a very complicated situation to work through. Homeschooling may or may not be the best situation, depending on how things turn out, but you can at least understand the principles and make an informed choice.

 

Interview with Rachel and Leah, from Signing Time - YouTube Here's one of the interviews. I didn't watch through it to see if this was the right one. There are several on youtube, several segments of a longer session. In one of them she talks about Leah's schooling.

[Coco_Clark]

I don't have time to read this entire thread but I'd like to throw out there that it might be best to agree to disagree until JR is at least three and one of you is considering school. Someone's opinion may change in 3+ years, JR may surprise you and make the decision mute (I have one preschool aged child that would excel in a preschool early learning environment, and another that would completely crumble), your finances or lifestyle at the time might also affect it. It seems to me a bit silly to make a decision three years ahead of time about a child you haven't even met and know nothing about, it seems even sillier to fight about it :)

[Spy Car]

Good preschools are an awesome experience for a child to enjoy. Plus it is nice for families to connect. We have a bunch of friends we became close with through our child's pre-school who I expect will be life-long friends.

 

Calling a good preschool "day care" is crazy talk, and totally misinformed.

 

Good thing the child isn't born yet, so you can get on the "waiting lists."

 

Bill

[Spy Car]

Hmm.

I have a good friend who is a teacher and I'll post what she often says in these sorts of arguments (she's an honest lady and I tend to think she's fairly unbiased - it isn't like she makes commission off the number of students she has, lol).

 

If you plan to send your child to a brick and mortar school at age 7, or first grade, I (she) always recommends kindergarten, if not pre k as well. Even those coming from loving, stable, involved homes tend to struggle with the workload (and will be noticeably behind the other students) of what first grade is TODAY, having never been introduced to formal academics before (assuming you aren't doing a formal kinder program at home). Remember that these days first graders are often reading fluently and working on double digit addition/subtraction, writing fairly well, etc.

 

That's what she would say (and has said many times in other forums discussing the advantages/disadvantages of early education :) Just my 2 cents.

 

Totally accurate with our experience. Most of the students entering K could read on some level (and many quite well). All were reading well by the end of K. In First Grade they are writing and doing muti-digit addition and subtraction. A child just learning to read in 1st would be so far behind peers in our school, that it would be a bad situation.

 

Bill

 

 

[dontknow]

Here's our experience. I'm confident my wife and I agree on this as we've reflected numerous times over the last 3 years. Our daughter will be entering K in the fall.

 

She attended what we would define as a quality private preschool on this schedule:

 

2 years old - 2 days a week for 2.5 hours

3 years old - 3 days a week for 2.5 hours

4 years old - 5 days a week for 5 hours

 

As a background, all non-school hours she was home with one of us activitely doing things but not really "focused" around academics. Her playroom is/was set up to give her access to all sorts of different things at her leisure.. Blocks, puzzles, art supplies with an art table (which is still her favorite), books everywhere, kitchen set, tons of dolls and animals for tea parties, etc... When not in school we took her on a weekly basis to the Zoo, National Museum of Play, a music class and an assortment of weekly Library classes. Actually, we still continue to do these same activities.

 

The benefits from preschool have been astounding. We are completly confident saying there's no way she'd be able to do the things she can do with the preschool path we chose. Absolutely, 100% no way. We've taught her a ton - no doubt. But the socilaization in addition to the required listening to someone else in a group, interactions and dealing with other kids and their behaviors, and oh so many other things have been experiences that she would of never, ever received just being home. A completely totally different environment she's adapted to which we believe have positioned her well for what's to come.

 

Lastly, I know personally a few "K" teachers and they can tell immediately who has quality preschool experience and who doesn't. We have no doubt we've made the right/best choice for our child.

[Hunter]

I don't have time to read this entire thread but I'd like to throw out there that it might be best to agree to disagree until JR is at least three and one of you is considering school. Someone's opinion may change in 3+ years, JR may surprise you and make the decision mute (I have one preschool aged child that would excel in a preschool early learning environment, and another that would completely crumble), your finances or lifestyle at the time might also affect it. It seems to me a bit silly to make a decision three years ahead of time about a child you haven't even met and know nothing about, it seems even sillier to fight about it :)

 

:iagree: except I wouldn't use the word "silly". It's very understandable that you are concerned. But it's too early to know what influences are going to change BOTH or your opinions.

 

If you think you are going to homeschool, self-educate, but don't plan.

 

And don't feel pressured to provide personal information that you don't want to provide here, even if that information is requested by people wanting to help you. Stay comfortable!

 

:grouphug:

[Mama Geek]

I am not in the deaf community at all. I did start dd with signing time before she was talking. She was signing before she started talking. I really don't think that if your child spends the first 3 years with those who sign all the time that there will be a problem with fluency. By 3 I am pretty confident your child will be very fluent.

 

You and your dh have to come to an agreement. It is really bad for kids when the parents aren't on the same page and parenting together. Dh and I are on the side of keeping kids at home, of course I stay home with her she is not left with others. We plan to homeschool all the way.

 

As far as teaching a kid to read, don't be afraid of it. I started with the leap pad DVD's of Letter Factory and Word Factory. They taught dd her sounds. I am now looking at going with either Webster's Spellers or McGuffy with some of the other resources that are available for those books to continue her reading education. These are not the only things out there. There are tons of programs available. I just yesterday was realizing how much I don't know about all the rules, but I can learn and I can definitely teach them to dd.

 

I also was into reading only nonfiction for years before dd came along. I decided that I really like the idea of classical education and at that time decided to start reading through classics that I had never read. Some of them aren't any better than todays fiction, but some of them have been really enjoyable to me, so maybe you could broaden your horizons some and start reading some classical literature by lots of different authors.

[ktgrok]

 

The benefits from preschool have been astounding. We are completly confident saying there's no way she'd be able to do the things she can do with the preschool path we chose. Absolutely, 100% no way. We've taught her a ton - no doubt. But the socilaization in addition to the required listening to someone else in a group, interactions and dealing with other kids and their behaviors, and oh so many other things have been experiences that she would of never, ever received just being home. A completely totally different environment she's adapted to which we believe have positioned her well for what's to come.

 

Lastly, I know personally a few "K" teachers and they can tell immediately who has quality preschool experience and who doesn't. We have no doubt we've made the right/best choice for our child.

 

 

 

Not discounting that this was right for your family, but to play devil's advocate some people feel that those socialization skills are things can be learned later as easily as earlier and might be more appropriate later. My son wasn't ready to do those things before K. He went to K at 6 years old, and that was the earliest he was ready to be away, listen to others, function in a group without an adult helping, etc. He picked it up just fine (even as an Aspie) and there were zero issues. He'd never once been away, without a family member with him, in his life before his first day of Kindergarten. He walked right in, and joined in the activity (with the teacher's guidance) with no tears, and never cried or had discipline issues. Turns out, learning to stand in line is pretty easy by the time you are 6, it doesn't take years of practice. As for dealing with other kids' behaviors, we had already experienced that at the playground for years, where I could monitor and intervene as needed, so that was nothing new.

 

I've seen post after post on facebook of kids crying the first few days/weeks of preschool. Their parents stick with it so they can get used to it before Kindy. I always wish they would understand that if they waited until Kindy age the kids might not cry at all, because they would be old enough/mature enough to handle the separation better.

[8filltheheart]

Here's our experience. I'm confident my wife and I agree on this as we've reflected numerous times over the last 3 years. Our daughter will be entering K in the fall.

 

She attended what we would define as a quality private preschool on this schedule:

 

2 years old - 2 days a week for 2.5 hours

3 years old - 3 days a week for 2.5 hours

4 years old - 5 days a week for 5 hours

 

As a background, all non-school hours she was home with one of us activitely doing things but not really "focused" around academics. Her playroom is/was set up to give her access to all sorts of different things at her leisure.. Blocks, puzzles, art supplies with an art table (which is still her favorite), books everywhere, kitchen set, tons of dolls and animals for tea parties, etc... When not in school we took her on a weekly basis to the Zoo, National Museum of Play, a music class and an assortment of weekly Library classes. Actually, we still continue to do these same activities.

 

The benefits from preschool have been astounding. We are completly confident saying there's no way she'd be able to do the things she can do with the preschool path we chose. Absolutely, 100% no way. We've taught her a ton - no doubt. But the socilaization in addition to the required listening to someone else in a group, interactions and dealing with other kids and their behaviors, and oh so many other things have been experiences that she would of never, ever received just being home. A completely totally different environment she's adapted to which we believe have positioned her well for what's to come.

 

Lastly, I know personally a few "K" teachers and they can tell immediately who has quality preschool experience and who doesn't. We have no doubt we've made the right/best choice for our child.

 

I also don't want to discount your family's experience. This a decision that every family needs to make for themselves. However, I did want to point out that while a K teacher might be able to tell immediately who has had a "quality" pre-school experience, the real question, imo, is can the 1st or 2nd grade teacher? (The question is whether or not there is a long term gain which gives them long-term advancement beyond kids that start "academic" skills at age 5.)

[PeterPan]

The benefits from preschool have been astounding. We are completly confident saying there's no way she'd be able to do the things she can do with the preschool path we chose.

 

Since you're on a homeschooling board, I know you won't mind me pointing out that homeschoolers regularly overcome the supposed disadvantage of not going to preschool, mercy. In fact, my dd who just did very well in a state-level competition will be horrified to know she couldn't have poise, confidence, academics, writing, or anything else on-level with the kids who went to the expensive prep schools in our state.

 

You chose to pay, and we do it ourselves. There are homeschoolers who choose to use a preschool for various reasons (trying to focus on various ages or SN, etc.), but that doesn't mean the mom can't do a good job at home if she's so inclined. If that were the case, then should all hang it up and use professionally paid teachers all the way. ;)

[SKL]

I guess I don't understand what some perceive as the danger of starting a kid younger than 5/6 in a group program. I do understand there are some individual children who can't handle the separation, but what is the perceived problem for the average child?

[Spy Car]

 

 

Since you're on a homeschooling board....

 

As a point of information this is not just a homeschooling board. It is inclusive of "afterschoolers" (such as myself) and those interested in self-education at home.

 

Bill

[KarenNC]

Just our experience: I've stayed home with my daughter since she was born. I sent her to a play-based preschool program 2 half days at 2, 3 half days at 3, and 4 half days at 4, in large part to save my sanity! As an introvert with a very extroverted, very strong-willed, only child and no other children in the neighborhood, I was the sole focus of all that need for interaction. By three, there were days I fantasized about military boarding preschool!! :001_smile: Seriously, I felt like the worst mother on the planet because sometimes, by the end of the day, my skin would literally crawl simply from the assault of sound and touch and I wanted nothing more than to close myself up in a silent, dark room---certainly not deal with a 3 yo who's goal in life was to play with me, hang onto me, and talk to me---interact! On the days she went to preschool, it wasn't like that. It was a fabulous experience for us---she loved it and I got a bit of a break to recharge and be able to give more to her. In addition to all the regular things one does with little kids at home whether they are in preschool or not (see suggestions above, which we did), I did pull in some formal work when she wanted desperately to read at age 4. It took us some time to figure out something that worked for her (unfortunately, the WTM suggestions didn't in that respect) and was enjoyable when done at her pace. We've gone on to homeschool K until the present and it looks like we'll go on through high school at this point. There have been rough patches (ask me about having a child going through puberty while the mother is entering menopause :willy_nilly: ), but I still think that preschool period was the worst for the two of us. The preschool program was a lifesaver.

 

That was our experience---it doesn't mean that it's the necessary thing for your family. It's also not something I would have predicted our family needing until we go there, so be willing to have any plans made now be very flexible. If you are concerned about finding enough interaction with hearing kids at that point, but decide not to do preschool, there are always library programs, nature center programs, rec center programs, etc that he might enjoy at that point. We also did all those things and she enjoyed them.

[Tracy]

There is no way you can settle this argument until you have a 3yo dc who has his own individual needs that need to be addressed. We have done lots of informal schooling with both of my kids, and they are both accellerated. But neither one of them would have done well with formal schooling at 3yo. It would not have mattered what plans I made when I was pregnant or whether my dh agreed with me or not. What my dc needed ended up being very different from the average kid, and that it was drove my educational decisions for them.

[ktgrok]

I guess I don't understand what some perceive as the danger of starting a kid younger than 5/6 in a group program. I do understand there are some individual children who can't handle the separation, but what is the perceived problem for the average child?

 

I have a few concerns with it. I think it can be overstimulating for many kids. I worry that my child will pick up bad habits/behaviors from other children. Even in a small class with an excellent teacher things happen that the teacher won't notice. I also feel that because we intend to homeschool it could be confusing/upsetting to go to preschool for years then come home....a bait and switch as it were.

[dontknow]

Wow... When I posted this I didn't intend to start a controversy. Just sharing our experience and yes as with anything it's a personal choice. So is the decision to Homeschool and the reasons for doing so.

 

When I joined, I did so from stumbling on this site accidently through another search trying to find a forum that focused on adults discussing education topics in regards to their kids. I had no clue until after I joined that the focus was Homeschooling. I guess at this point, I can delete my account since I neither want to Homeschool or fit into your definitions.

[Guest vickj]

If you do enough "education" at home on your own, kindergarten is not needed. In TX it's not even required by law that kids go to school until 1st grade. If your child doesn't have much "education" before kindergarten then I would enroll the child in K.

[mathmarm]

Are you saying that you don't know right now whether or not he is deaf?(!) How old is he? I'd think that would be a key piece of information before you decide anything. (If it were me, I'd want to explore all medical possibilities immediately, though I realize there may be controversy in the deaf community over some possibilities.)

For us, Deafness isn't a problem, it isn't something we'd take a child to the Dr. and have him 'fix'. Jrs. Paternal grandparents are Deaf. Jr. has 4 Deaf cousins on his dads side and a Deaf Uncle and Deaf Aunt. (Hubby is one of 6 kids, 2 of whom are Deaf.)

On my end, I have Hard of Hearing and Deafness in my family, but I wasn't raised Signing and I have cousins with whom I have never spoken because of it (they are Deaf and I couldn't sign). Its a sore point with my parents and I that I wanted to learn Sign Language and was never given the opportunity to learn.

On the ASL, what are the options for learning it - is there a school that teaches it? Is there a program that's not part of a school? Can the grandparents teach him? Is a personal tutor a possibility?

Jr. will learn ASL from birth. Hubby and I Sign and Voice at home. Jr. will learn ASL from us, his Grandparents, his relatives etc...

 

 

If you teach your child ASL from infancy, you won't need him to be exposed to ASL in a preschool program. (Assuming he isn't deaf.)

But we also don't want his Deaf identity tarnished by kids/teachers/administrators in a preschool program either. We don't want him to learn too early that Deafness is often stigmatized in our area. We want him to be fluent and comfortable in his identity and his abilities. We know that we can't keep him isolated from the world--we don't want too. But we don't wan't to throw him to the wolves either.

 

 

One option for homeschool is calling read alouds and nature walks and everyday life "Charlotte Mason." In this scenario, taking about things we hear and see becomes "informal narration."

I don't know what you mean by 'informal narration' and Jr. may not be hearing anything.

I hate reading. Hubby isn't a reader. One of the reasons we'd put him in PS for elementary is so that he can be around teachers who can teach him to read and maybe cultivate a love of reading in him. As my name suggests, I love math, I teach math. I have taught everything from PreAlgebra to senior level college math classes, I currently teach math and will continue to do so for about 5 more years.

 

I agree with waiting awhile to figure this out. There are lots of books out there about the pros/cons of preschool (nonfiction) and about the importance of play in early childhood. Perhaps you could agree to disagree for now, and you could each agree to read information the other finds supporting the alternative position.

We've agreed to disagree for the time being, but we are neither one of us content with the others stance. I know to some of you women who have as many as 6 kids, this is silly, but it doesn't mean that Hubby and I aren't both genuine.

Any specific recommendations?

 

This is totally absurd. One, you're full of pregnancy hormones and arguing something that isn't even an issue. Two, you're making an argument something that YOU'RE GOING TO WIN simply by virtue of your cunning and wiles. What YOU think as the mom is what's going to happen, because YOU'RE going to be the one at home doing it.

Both Hubby and I work full-time. We both teach at university, I have a small company I am running and Hubby has his hands in a couple of other things. I will be home with Jr. for a little while when he is born, but I will be returning to work after that. Jr. will be staying with his Deaf grandparents about 65% of the time, my parents about 15% of the time and the remaining 20% of the time he'll be with Hubby and I.

 

His Deaf grandparents will be doting and attentive. They will be the ones playing with him, sharing stories and books with him. He has several board books with pictures and colors etc that his grandparents will share with him. His grandma is a fantastic cook so he'll be well fed, his grandpa is a fantastic handyman and great craftsman (I mean it! Deaf Granny could cook circles around Martha Stewart, Racheal Ray and Paula Deen and thats just with apetizers!)

And you know my dh has NO SAY in that. I'M the one that is home, so I'M the magic making things happen. *I* read him the Hobbit and put on memory work and get him interested in history with Playmobil egyptian sets. I skip counted to him while changing his diapers for years so he'd find it interesting and just a curious game. As the Mom, *I* set the stage. Not pushy, not developmentally inappropriate, just fun and natural, that of course that's what we do in our home. You'll find your way with those things too.

Hubby and I will be doing some things with Jr. but his Deaf grandparents are the ones who will be his primary caregivers for the first couple of years. They are very open to doing things with Jr. and taking him places, but they are functionally illiterate and not verbal. The things that they are best equipped to share with him are practical life skills, (going to the store, working around the house, making things, visiting the Zoo, Museum, library, park, etc).

 

 

Even if you guys hate reading novels, good children's picture books can be another thing entirely. If you can bear it, use the time before your kiddo is born to acquire and read through the following, both of which get my highest recommendation:

 

* The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease

&

* Babies Need Books by Dorothy Butler

I have just bought Babies Need Books and The Read-Aloud Handbook is in my Amazon Wishlist. I really am working on my reading, I hate 'fluff' books in general, not just novels. I don't enjoy picture books and such. I didn't enjoy them even as a girl. I know that isn't a very good sentiment to have, but its truly how I feel. One of the reasons why I am getting Living Math books now is so that reading will have a point! I never liked cartoons either. I just wasn't that type of kid. I liked encyclopedias and non-fiction all my life. I still hate silly books.

Both are absolutely inspirational, and quite pleasant to read at that.

 

 

Edit to add:

P.S. Do you already know about the Signing Time program? Absolutely magical. http://www.rachelcol...om/leahs-story/ They air them on PBS early mornings. You might want to DVR a few if you have time and see what you think.

We are aware of this series, but wary of spending so much money for the DVD's based on what we've seen. We are still deciding how we feel about TV and screen time for the Under 2 crowd. We are both instinctively in the 'NO' camp. Jr. will be staying with 2 Deaf adults who are both very much alive and capable of interacting with him, we think it will be best to invest that money elsewhere. (As far as I can tell, that program doesn't even teach sentences, just vocabulary, ask yourself how meaningful the words 'apple' , 'giraffe', 'purple' etc. are without any greater context?)

 

P.S.2. I have absolute no credentials in educating deaf children, but I did once read a wonderful book called In Silence by Ruth Sidransky, about being raised as the hearing child of two deaf parents. When she arrived in school she had problems speaking clearly because she'd been surrounded by the deaf community her whole life. She was initially put in a classroom for the developmentally disabled, but her mother heard about this and marched into school to set them straight. A sympathetic school principal understood the issue and told the parents to immediately purchase a radio for their daughter; Ruth was then able to listen to typical spoken English at home and self-correct her pronunciation. I always thought that was such a clever solution on the part of the principal.

I will look into that book, thank you. Also, we've began buying audio books (books with CD's in the backflap) and are working on how this can be shared with Jr. by his Grandparents. (Hubby is considering doing some sort of powerpoint or computer presentation so that his parents know when to turn the page). Hubby has been going through the books with his parents and 'reading' the books to them that they know what the stories like Frog and Toad and Arthur are about.

 

P.S.3. If you want to sign and read at the same, buy a $10 book stand at the office-supply store. It frees up your hands (except for page turning) so you can sign and show the child the book at the same time.

This is an excellent idea, I will look into it.

 

 

Ok, can we back up here?

 

1. Are either of the parents deaf? Hubby and I are hearing, his paternal grandparents are Deaf. He has a Deaf Uncle and Aunt on his Dad's side, Deaf cousins on both sides of his family and Deaf relatives on my side of the family. Its imperative that he learn to sign.

2. Are either of you planning on staying home with him at all from ages 0-5 or 6? I am going to be home with him for some months after birth, then I am going to resume working outside the home. My teaching contract expires in about 5 years, I will probably not renew it.

3. You think it genetically very likely he will be deaf? Very, very likely.

4. What do you mean that family on both sides are deaf but you and dh have a world view? Jr. being monolingual isn't an option. He needs ASL to communicate with much of his paternal family and if he is hearing than we'd like him to learn a few modern, spoken languages. Hubby and I are studying Spanish together right now. Hubby can speak very good Japanese and French, he has conversational abilities in Welsh. We have a worldview, we would like to take Jr. and live abroad when he's older (one of the reasons to homeschool him after elementary school.)

 

You do not need to mimic a montessori preschool. You will naturally do those things at home. Preschool imitates life. Just let him live and do things with you and buy him toys and play together. You're going to be fine. That is half the argument against anyschool before 1st grade. It isn't neccessary because he'll be with family (either his grandparents, us or aunt/uncles and cousins) who will engage him and give him attention and love and stimulation, etc.

 

Have you read the interview with the lady who made the Signing Time videos about how she raised her dd? She was very pro-active on language exposure. She required the schools to include in the IEP that her dd had not 1 but *2* signing people in her classrooms so she could see LANGUAGE, fluent language. As you're figuring out, creating a language rich environment is one of your big goals. I would not leave a hearing dc with a deaf sitter all day.

Why not? The Deaf sitters will be able to do all the things that a hearing person could except verbally communicate. The child will be spoken too, be played with, be cleaned and supervised, taken on strolls and bikerides, set in the dirt and pushed in a swing, be hugged, kissed, loved and enjoyed. The child will be spoken too (through fluent sign language) and will be around not one--but *2* signers, exactly as Racheal Coleman did for her daughter.

 

If you can't read aloud, that's not a deal breaker. Lots of moms have reasons why that doesn't work. They might be tired or busy or whatever. So you get books on tape, lots and lots of books on tape, and you have those books on tape playing in the background several hours a day while he plays. Same deal with foreign language tapes (Muzzy, Learnables, etc.). You're creating a language rich environment. It doesn't mean you have to read all the stuff to him. You can get books through the library, Your Story Hour tapes, etc. That's not a dealbreaker.

I can read aloud. I just don't like too. I am working on reading recreationally and reading aloud. I am getting books on tape, and I have some language CD's that Hubby and I bought for ourselves. Jr. will have to listen to those until we get around to buying the 'Language for Baby' type tapes.

 

 

I'll see if I can find that interview. You might find it very inspiring. You seem to have a very complicated situation to work through. Homeschooling may or may not be the best situation, depending on how things turn out, but you can at least understand the principles and make an informed choice.

 

Interview with Rachel and Leah, from Signing Time - YouTube Here's one of the interviews. I didn't watch through it to see if this was the right one. There are several on youtube, several segments of a longer session. In one of them she talks about Leah's schooling.

 

Thank you all so very much for all of your feedback. Hubby and I have called a temporary truce to try and work through this whole situation. We're going to have to do some reading and soul searching on this issue. I appreciate your support and so many people sharing their wisdom with us.

[fairfarmhand]

Since Jr. is not yet arrived this conversation is pretty much theory anyway.

 

You may look at Jr. at age 4 and think. "There's no way that he needs to be away from mom all day!" or he may be doing well and need to have 2-3 day a week play day with other kids. Or you parents may have taught him so much from just reading stories and playing that you begin to understand that preschool or K is unnecessary. Or you may be so smothered with a new baby that it would be good for him and you to have a short break on a regular basis.

 

There are too many variables to decide that right now.

 

Wait a few years and then follow your heart. You will know what is right when the time comes. And then, even if you do make the wrong decision, it won';t be long before you figure out that this wasn't the best thing for your family. And you can quickly rectify it with no long term damage.

[SKL]

You express a concern about Jr. learning at an early age that some hearing people are mean to deaf people / ignorant about deafness. I would just point out that little kids generally do not manifest mean stereotypes. My girls are members of multiple minority groups (brown skin, adopted, children of a single mom, one is very petite & wears glasses, one is very advanced & a little nerdy). They have been to preschool and other group programs since age 2. The first time anyone treated them unkindly based on being "different" was 1st grade. So I would not worry too much about little kids hurting your child over deafness. Not that it's your child's job to educate the world, but I feel that if anything, having him in a preschool class would reduce the likelihood of his classmates acting ignorant later.

[Tanikit]

Are you first time parents - I suspect so for various reasons. Firstly congrats on your pregnancy. Second this is not really a topic I would be looking into at all yet. There are schools where I live where parents have to apply to get their child in using ultrasound photographs - yes the waiting lists are that long! But even if you weren't sure you could always book your child in, pay the money required and then tell them you are not accepting the spot later on if you change your mind.

 

If you are about to have a baby here are some things you need to know: the baby comes out as a newborn - he/she knows nothing - needs his/her nappy changed, some milk to drink and a mother to love him/her. Babies take up an enormous amount of your time - they sleep A LOT, they get their parents taking enormous amounts of photos and spending endless amounts of times staring at them, checking they are breathing, wondering what to do to stop the crying... and then suddenly they are 3 months old and more alert, you have recovered some from the birth and are gradually adjusting to a totally new life. At no point now will you be thinking of preschools unless you need to find a day care and go back to work. And then he/she is six months old, getting close to sitting up and you are talking to your child all the time, he/she is part of the family, you may have packed away his/her newborn and 0-3 month clothes or you may be swamped in them because you have been too busy. By then you may have been through colds and flus, taken your child to the hospital for something he/she didn't need to go there for...

 

Don't rush your child to 3 or 5 or 7. The years do rush by... so enjoy the time you have. Pregnancy hormones too can make minor decisions or even major decisions that should not yet be considered yet into huge things - I am not sure what does it to men... sometimes they are just like that. Relax - rather turn your attention right now to which outfit to bring your baby home from the hospital in, where he/she will sleep (that can be contentious too in some homes), and what you will call him/her. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy.