Fighting the FRUMP---any thoughts, ideas?

[Ottakee]

I read this last night. http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2013/03/fight-the-frump-get-dressed/#comments

 

I would love to follow some of her suggestions as quite often I am frumpy. I am a size 16/18 or so which makes finding nice fitting clothes harder.

 

One of my issues as well as that I change my clothes MANY times a day--PJ, exercise clothes, barn chore clothes, horseback riding clothes, go to town clothes, my comfy clothes, back in barn clothes, etc. Some days I honestly change my clothes 7-9 times.

[Sara in AZ]

I basically dress like that woman in the nicer picture. It's pretty simple. You just buy good fitting jeans and cute tops. Very easy.

 

 

 

Yes, that does sound so easy! I am going to find some cute tips this week. No more frump for me! Love that blog post.

[GailV]

I basically dress like that woman in the nicer picture. It's pretty simple. You just buy good fitting jeans and cute tops. Very easy.

 

 

It's simple except for the part where you have to find good fitting jeans to purchase. :glare:

 

It took me years to work that one out. Actually, I gave up on jeans and went with fantastically well-fitting slacks. Dh says the rearview in them is excellent.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I'd suggest some nice accessories... necklaces, scarves etc.

[Annie G]

Um, those of you who KNOW how to dress don't understand how difficult it is for the rest of us to choose 'good fitting jeans and cute tops'. And accessories- oh, my. I pick out what I think is a cute top and my daughter just looks at me and says no. I try to add accessories and I feel like a clown. After 51 years of dressing in jeans and t-shirts, it's not always easy to make the leap from frumpy to cute- ESPECIALLY in your 50's. What do women in their 50's wear?

And I was recently told not to bring my tennis shoes to Rome this summer- that wearing athletic shoes with jeans is not acceptable here OR there.

[Momof3littles]

Um, those of you who KNOW how to dress don't understand how difficult it is for the rest of us to choose 'good fitting jeans and cute tops'. And accessories- oh, my. I pick out what I think is a cute top and my daughter just looks at me and says no. I try to add accessories and I feel like a clown. After 51 years of dressing in jeans and t-shirts, it's not always easy to make the leap from frumpy to cute- ESPECIALLY in your 50's. What do women in their 50's wear?

And I was recently told not to bring my tennis shoes to Rome this summer- that wearing athletic shoes with jeans is not acceptable here OR there.

Look for a sleek sneaker. European women do wear them. The super athletic, clunky type are more American.

[Momof3littles]

I ask for GCs for Christmas and my bday to Nordstrom and then splurge on a great pr of jeans. I think I tried on thirty or more prs at Nordstrom Rack and Nordstrom before deciding. I also think a cute coat or blazer with nice shoes can dress up and defrump a lot of things.

[Danestress]

I think her second outfit is pretty awful. She's a cute woman, but I hate what she is wearing in both photos.

 

I think a lot of frumpy is about weight. Thin women naturally look less frumpy. So right now I focussing in dropping the fat that has migrated to my belly. I also need a less frumpy hairdo. And an entire new wardrobe:)

[Brilliant]

I think her second outfit is pretty awful. She's a cute woman, but I hate what she is wearing in both photos.

 

I agree, I don't really care for her non-frumpy look. My 75yo MIL died last year and when we went through her closet, she had at least 100 (I exaggerate not) tops that looked like that one. (Mostly from Chico's). I thought my MIL took great care of herself & looked super-cute for a senior citizen, but I don't think it's a great look for a middle-aged mom trying to de-frump.

[Brilliant]

This blogger is younger than most of us here, but many of her outfits would look great on us. :) I wish I had her closet!

 

http://whatiwore.tumblr.com/tagged/casual/

[TraceyS/FL]

I have major issues finding shirts.... Major.

 

And I feel insanely frumpy right now because I have no shirts, and I need a haircut - and I can't afford either right now.

[Ottakee]

Besides being plus size and not knowing how to dress I spend much of my life in the barn. I KNOW there are cute barn clothes out there but I hate to think of spending $$$ to buy jeans to muck out stalls and stack hay.

 

I do want to get 2-3 nicer outfits--mix and match or layering would be nice--for spring/summer so that I have a few things that will look good when I go out and about town. I just feel more comfortable in my jeans and cowboy boots.

[Danestress]

 

 

Well it might not be my first choice as an outfit, but it's kind of a fun pattern and a decent fitting pair of jeans. I am not into jewelry and I don't care for her hair style. But what is so "awful" about it really?

 

 

In my opinion, the fabric is ugly and cheap looking and the sleeve length doesn't flatter her - it makes her arms seem flabby. This is a matter of personal taste, obviously.

[Lisa R.]

 

I think a lot of frumpy is about weight. Thin women naturally look less frumpy.

 

 

Disagree. Any adult at any age and weight can look frumpy. There are smashing-looking women that wear larger sizes. They just know how to wear clothes.

 

There are nice clothes to be found in small and larger sizes. Get a good fit. Get longer tops, if needed. Larger and smaller people often look good in longer tops or tunics. Get colors that look good with your hair color and skin tones. If you're not sure what colors to chose for yourself, I've heard that you should think about what colors you'd decorate your house with--if you could decorate it however you wish. Chances are...that's the same colors that you should be wearing. Try it.

 

Always remember that shoes are part of the outfit.

 

A good, updated haircut works wonders. If someone hasn't changed their haircut in the last ten years, it's time.

[Ottakee]

 

Always remember that shoes are part of the outfit.

 

A good, updated haircut works wonders. If someone hasn't changed their haircut in the last ten years, it's time.

 

Another 2 parts to my issues.

 

I have bone spurs and tendonitis so wear orthodics in some not so fashionable tennis shoes. I need to look for some shoes that are a bit more fashionable that I can put my orthodics in. Without them though I can hardly walk.

 

My hairstyle is short and I need a wash and go style so other than the "glittery" highlights I have been sprouting lately my hairstyle hasn't changed in years.

 

I need a make over where someone isn't trying to SELL me all kinds of stuff.

[Guest]

My go-to look has become nice tee-shirt and jeans. Sometimes with cardigan sweater or jean jacket. I like Land's End tee-shirts.

 

FTR, I hate scarves and most accessories. I like a bracelet sometimes OR a necklace. Earrings are either the color of the shirt or silver. I love this look. It dresses up nicely with boots and a jacket or sweater.

[Danestress]

 

 

Well, maybe that is what she can afford. KWIM?

 

I'm not impressed with dressing advice when it involves $500 outfits.

 

I know what you mean. I personally think she would look cuter in the same jeans with a plain white t-short in a nice fitted cut. Doable for $30. But I am not a great fashion critic.

[Dandelion]

This blogger is younger than most of us here, but many of her outfits would look great on us. :) I wish I had her closet!

 

http://whatiwore.tum.../tagged/casual/

 

Fun blog! Thanks for sharing.

 

I loved some of her outfits - others, not so much. ;)

 

What I noticed is that she has a few basic pieces that she wears over and over again, and then she mixes things up with some bright accent pieces or accessories. Her basics seem to be her black skinny jeans and black boots (and maybe the jean jacket - I saw that in several outfits too). But then she adds a fun brightly colored top, or patterned scarf, etc. And she always has a large, pretty purse as an accent piece.

 

That's basically what the experts tell you to do. Start with a few basic pieces - a couple pairs of nice jeans or black slacks, a black knee-length skirt, a well-cut jacket, and some stylish boots in a neutral color that goes with everything. If you spend a bit more to get better quality, all of those pieces should last a few years at least. Then pair them with some fun print tops - or solid color tops along with a nice scarf, shawl, or pretty necklace as an accessory. Look at blogs like the one linked above for inspiration.

 

Day to day, I usually wear jeans, a pretty top, a tailored jacket or cardigan, and black ankle boots. I don't wear accessories other than earrings unless I'm going out for the evening.

 

ETA: I didn't read the original article - just looked at her before and after photos. She looked ok in the second photo, but I much prefer the look of the blogger linked by Chanticleer.

[KungFuPanda]

I call BS and disagree with most of the article. Then again, I have no trouble naming at least 5 things I like about my body. DH likes the way I look. I'm petite, in shape, and don't bother with make-up most of the time. I wear fitted t's daily with either jeans or dance pants. I swear I don't look frumpy . . . Except when it's 30 degrees, I'm wearing baggy sweats and I'm not leaving the house. I'm not sure the article is universally applicable especially if you have a modicum of self esteem.

 

I actually save the dressing up and WOW make-up for events or special occasions. Women who look 'their best' every day tend to look the SAME every day and I suspect they don't like the way they look without embellishment. I 'could' wear nicer clothes every day, but that seems vain and silly when your day includes cleaning the toilets.

[WishboneDawn]

I'm a size 20-22 and I can find nice, flattering clothing.

 

It's really not about what size you are, it's about understanding the styles, colours and cuts of clothing that flatter your shape. A lot of thin women have the same problems fat women do (I am fine with being fat so I use that term) in terms of finding the right kinds of clothing to properly fit and flatter their bodies. Once you learn about what looks good on you, you can find "frumpy" clothes like jeans, t-shirts and sneakers that look very good and smart on you. Like anything, start researching and learning.

 

You also don't need a lot of money. Now that I have an idea of some of what make my body look good I can modify items I have or pick up clothes in thrift stores. I don't often but new except for socks and underwear. Occasionally t-shirts but since I won't pay much for clothes the new ones in my price range are generally garbage. Better to get one at a thrift store that's cheaper AND better quality.

 

The last thing that important to not looking frumpy is making sure you take care of your clothes and launder them properly. I'm working on that.

 

But one last thing...Give yourself a break. I like articles like that too but on a day when I have to haul wood or muck out a chicken coop or scrub floors I am NOT going to worry about being frumpy.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I am not adept at accessorizing. I simplify the process by wearing solid colored shirts with either a colorful necklace or scarf.

[GailV]

Disagree. Any adult at any age and weight can look frumpy. There are smashing-looking women that wear larger sizes. They just know how to wear clothes.

 

 

 

 

I read a fashion sewing blog by a woman who is very large. She knows the EXACT place her hem should fall, the EXACT way her sleeves should fit, etc. She always looks marvelous.

 

She sews because she likes designer clothes, and they don't come in her size. Seamstresses can check it out at http://sewingfantati...y.blogspot.com/

[TraceyS/FL]

 

That's one area I refuse to worry about...shoes. I won't wear heals. I have one pair of cute flats, one pair of black sketcher's sneaker type shoes, and one pair of boots for winter. That's it.

 

I know some people are into shoes. I'm not one of those people!

 

I"ve spent the last 6 months mainly wearing my Five Fingers because of foot pain..... not overly attractive! LOL, I drove up to visit my boyfriend when he was working and he told me I couldn't wear them. I tried one day, and the next day was "screw it - do you want me to be able to walk?" :p

 

I have some nice Dansko clogs - but they make me taller than him. I don't really like wearing them when we go out. My other shoes that I can apparently wear without pain are Timberland black work shoes. Attractive.

 

Now I'm faced with having to dress "nice" in a week and a half to meet some of his family at a dinner. YIKES.

 

I need to find a shirt.... wait, I need to know what the dress code is for the meal. If I have to wear a skirt i'm doomed.....

[Joyofsixreboot]

I think her second outfit is pretty awful. She's a cute woman, but I hate what she is wearing in both photos.

 

I think a lot of frumpy is about weight. Thin women naturally look less frumpy. So right now I focussing in dropping the fat that has migrated to my belly. I also need a less frumpy hairdo. And an entire new wardrobe:)

 

LOL. My 14 yo has that shirt. It looks cute on her. Different tastes and all...I just thought you all thought it looked old and I thought it was too young. Of course I'm currently wearing running tights and my 11 yo's sweatshirt.

[Belacqua]

LOL. My 14 yo has that shirt. It looks cute on her. Different tastes and all...I just thought you all thought it looked old and I thought it was too young. Of course I'm currently wearing running tights and my 11 yo's sweatshirt.

 

 

I think there are some clothes that really do suit 15-year-olds and 75-year-olds but not those of us in between (except, weirdly, Michael Phelps's mom; she rocks the Chicos like nobody's business).

[LostSurprise]

I disagree with the basic premise that 'wanting to look put together' is the same thing as 'I take myself seriously. I respect myself.' That may be true for some women, but it isn't true for every woman, anymore than its true for every man.

 

When I get up in the morning and I don't change out of my pajamas or if I wear yoga pants its not because I'm depressed or don't believe I'm worthwhile. Nor does my husband care, and it hasn't a damper on our sex life or our affection for each other.

 

And frankly, saying its simple to find inexpensive pants and a few cute shirts that fit well does not have a minority body type. You're not unusually tall, super petite, flat as a pole, or outrageously curvy. For me to buy a cute shirt I have to spend more than $50 and order it on the Internet, then there's a good chance (70%) its for a well endowed tall woman, not a flat tall woman. :thumbdown: Then I get the privilege of paying return shipping.

 

I have a cute outfit or two, but I'm just as happy (and respectful of myself) in my men's t-shirt and sweatpants with my hair up in bun. And my husband is too.

[fairfarmhand]

Besides being plus size and not knowing how to dress I spend much of my life in the barn. I KNOW there are cute barn clothes out there but I hate to think of spending $$$ to buy jeans to muck out stalls and stack hay.

 

I do want to get 2-3 nicer outfits--mix and match or layering would be nice--for spring/summer so that I have a few things that will look good when I go out and about town. I just feel more comfortable in my jeans and cowboy boots.

 

my dh would think I was the stupidest woman ever if I got up and dressed like that. Then changed to go to the barn. Then changed back. The put on my workout clothes, then changed back. I think her opinions are full of over generalizations. I know I can look great and non-frumpy. But it is wasted when my cow won't come near me because I have my hair down or I'm not wearing my barn coat. (cows are funny!) I look good when I need to go someplace. Hubby would probably love for me to dress nicely every day, but he realizes that I am a working farm lady, and it is just not practical for my lifestyle. I don't assume that "he doesn't care to give his best" when he puts on ripped up tattered overalls to go out and work. Half the time we go out to dinner, me dressed in nicer clothes, perfume and makeup and he's wearing work jeans, manure-crusted boots and an older shirt. I don't care. I'm just glad to be going out with him.

 

Like I told my dd when she commented that my hands were looking "old" I can have lovely hands and have a dull (to me) life, or beat up, dried out farm wife hands and be living my dream.

 

Half my clothes end up with barbed wire holes and bleach stains. This is why I have a hard time spending much on nice clothes.

[WishboneDawn]

I disagree with the basic premise that 'wanting to look put together' is the same thing as 'I take myself seriously. I respect myself.' That may be true for some women, but it isn't true for every woman, anymore than its true for every man.

 

Good point. I feel my most capable, strongest, focused, etc. when I'm in sweat pants, rubber boots and a ratty old T-shirt. That's because I'm likely either hauling wood, mucking out the chicken coop, doing yard work, etc. All tasks that make me feel worthwhile.

[fraidycat]

There is nothing special about my knowledge of dressing. Honestly! I don't wear accessories either.

 

It's not special because you can do it. It is a talent. As is decorating a house. I possess neither of these talents, so they ARE special to me when I meet those who CAN do them.

 

I have major issues finding shirts.... Major. And I feel insanely frumpy right now because I have no shirts, and I need a haircut - and I can't afford either right now.

 

I agree on the shirts thing. I absolutely HATE shopping because stuff that looks cute on the hanger, or mannequin looks awful on me. It is frustrating. So frumpy t-shirts is my "style", simply because I can find t-shirts that fit.

 

That's one area I refuse to worry about...shoes. I won't wear heals. I have one pair of cute flats, one pair of black sketcher's sneaker type shoes, and one pair of boots for winter. That's it. I know some people are into shoes. I'm not one of those people!

 

:iagree: Even if I *could* put together a nice look, if the shoes "complete the outfit", but aren't comfy, I'm not gonna do it. Says the girl who wears Isotoner slippers under formal gowns. I had white for my wedding and black for the Marine Corps Ball. My daily shoe choices are Skechers Go-walks, fake "Ugg" boots from Costco, or my Asics shoes when working out. I do have some other dressier type shoes, that I will wear if I HAVE to, but it's not gonna happen on a daily "de-frumping" basis.

[ChrisOR]

Angie who blogs at youlookfab.com is in her early 40s. It is a fabulous blog and forum.

[mom31257]

I'm large busted and find it difficult to find cute shirts that 1)look good on me, 2) aren't too low cut, and 3)I can afford.

[WishboneDawn]

I read a fashion sewing blog by a woman who is very large. She knows the EXACT place her hem should fall, the EXACT way her sleeves should fit, etc. She always looks marvelous.

 

She sews because she likes designer clothes, and they don't come in her size. Seamstresses can check it out at http://sewingfantati...y.blogspot.com/

 

That's an awesome blog! Thank you for letting us know about it. :D

[fraidycat]

 

I can't decorate a house either. Or I should say, I have no interest!

 

See? So those who can have a special talent. It's not really my deepest desire, either but I do like our home to look nice, instead of sterile. Unfortunately, it mostly looks sterile.

[fraidycat]

 

I just don't invite people over. LOL

 

 

LOL I guess that works, just as well as any other solution! :laugh: Although, I want it to look nice for us, not necessarily other people. I guess I want it to FEEL homey, and a lot of that "homey-ness" happens through decor, I think,

[a27mom]

 

 

Good point. I feel my most capable, strongest, focused, etc. when I'm in sweat pants, rubber boots and a ratty old T-shirt. That's because I'm likely either hauling wood, mucking out the chicken coop, doing yard work, etc. All tasks that make me feel worthwhile.

 

I feel like this too. My body is not perfect, but I can name lots of thing I like about it. Especially when I am wearing torn jeans, an old t-shirt, beat up sneakers and carrying 50lb bags of seed to fill the planter. I think there may be some different point of view for those who do more manual labor.

 

I do wear nice clothes, I don't mind wearing them, but they don't make me feel better. They tend not to be very comfortable as well. The bloggers reasons for not "getting dressed" each day have nothing to do with my reasons. It is pure comfort and practicality here, I don't want the extra laundry.

 

My dh comes home and puts sweats on anyway. He is not nearly as concerned about me getting dressed as me getting undressed ;) as long as I am happy to oblige in the latter he doesn't sweat the former. Lol

[jenangelcat]

Truth be told, I don't think clothing is made for real people. We just buy the crap and it's somehow supposed to sort of fit.

 

designers can't make clothes for every single body out there, it would be impossible. Even celebrities don't wear clothes straight off the rack, they fit the widest part of their body and get the clothes tailored. I just had two pairs of jeans and a skirt tailored for $35.

 

Imo if a person seriously wants to make the effort to avoid frump and change the way they dress, the best way is to research your body type, find what style attracts you, try on lots of clothes and tailor what doesn't fit. Fwiw i'm 5'3, 150lbs, with massive boobs, hourglass shape, cut my hair once a year and i can't wear heels. Oh and not even remotely wealthy. i've spent two years compiling a wardrobe after my last pregnancy and i can consistenly look good, even while mucking the barn.

[jeninok]

 

 

Another 2 parts to my issues.

 

I have bone spurs and tendonitis so wear orthodics in some not so fashionable tennis shoes. I need to look for some shoes that are a bit more fashionable that I can put my orthodics in. Without them though I can hardly walk.

 

My hairstyle is short and I need a wash and go style so other than the "glittery" highlights I have been sprouting lately my hairstyle hasn't changed in years.

 

I need a make over where someone isn't trying to SELL me all kinds of stuff.

 

 

Try Merrells, or some of the New Balance dressier shoes, the ones from a New Balance store that cost more and are made in either the US or Canada.

 

Dansko makes cuter shoes that many people love too.

[KungFuPanda]

Perhaps the article should be entitled "How to avoid being judged by superficial women who are fixated on fashion."

 

:-D

[aggieamy]

Here's the deal. I work from home and so does DH. I'll start dressing better for him at home when he does for me. There is no such look as business casual boxer shorts.

 

We can look very nice when we feel like it but I think he knows I adore him just as much when I'm in my yoga pants cooking lunch as I do when I'm sporting a skirt, heels, and stockings.

[shukriyya]

Here's the deal. I work from home and so does DH. I'll start dressing better for him at home when he does for me. There is no such look as business casual boxer shorts.

 

:smilielol5:

[LostSurprise]

designers can't make clothes for every single body out there, it would be impossible. Even celebrities don't wear clothes straight off the rack, they fit the widest part of their body and get the clothes tailored. I just had two pairs of jeans and a skirt tailored for $35.

 

Imo if a person seriously wants to make the effort to avoid frump and change the way they dress, the best way is to research your body type, find what style attracts you, try on lots of clothes and tailor what doesn't fit. Fwiw i'm 5'3, 150lbs, with massive boobs, hourglass shape, cut my hair once a year and i can't wear heels. Oh and not even remotely wealthy. i've spent two years compiling a wardrobe after my last pregnancy and i can consistenly look good, even while mucking the barn.

 

You're 5'3". You can get anything tailored smaller. You can't make things longer. This doesn't help anyone longer in the torso, arms, or legs than average.

[Ottakee]

 

Half my clothes end up with barbed wire holes and bleach stains. This is why I have a hard time spending much on nice clothes.

 

We don't have barbed wire here and I don't use much bleach but I sure can find enough around our hobby farm to catch my clothes on, stain them with, etc. I usually by barn jeans for $1-4 at a thrift store as I can't justify spending more just to wear them in the mucky mud.

 

I would just like a few nice mix and match pieces for when I go out with dh (even just nice jeans with cuter shoes and a nice top), lunch with friends, etc.

[fairfarmhand]

I feel like this too. My body is not perfect, but I can name lots of thing I like about it. Especially when I am wearing torn jeans, an old t-shirt, beat up sneakers and carrying 50lb bags of seed to fill the planter. I think there may be some different point of view for those who do more manual labor.

 

I do wear nice clothes, I don't mind wearing them, but they don't make me feel better. They tend not to be very comfortable as well. The bloggers reasons for not "getting dressed" each day have nothing to do with my reasons. It is pure comfort and practicality here, I don't want the extra laundry.

 

My dh comes home and puts sweats on anyway. He is not nearly as concerned about me getting dressed as me getting undressed ;) as long as I am happy to oblige in the latter he doesn't sweat the former. Lol

 

It;s kind of like this...If my dh was a mechanic, I would not judge his mental state by his messy, comfortable clothing, Since I am a farm wife, stay at home mom, I don't want people judging me by my uniform. Even if it is the UPS guy.

[Laurie4b]

It's simple except for the part where you have to find good fitting jeans to purchase. :glare:

 

It took me years to work that one out. Actually, I gave up on jeans and went with fantastically well-fitting slacks. Dh says the rearview in them is excellent.

 

 

This is especially hard for women who are apple-shaped, which I noticed she doesn't cover in her "6 body types" post.

[Garga]

I like to dress reasonably nice every day. It makes me feel a little strange to read so many responses that suggest that if you dress nicely you're superficial.

 

I can understand the people mucking out stalls aren't going to be dressed up. But for us non-farmers, it's ok to look nice.

 

And I'm not so sure that I believe everyone who says they're ok with looking frumpy. Some of you probably mean it, but my personal experience is that my friends who dress frumpily really do feel bad about the way they look and have given up. Sometimes they'll say they don't care because, "I'm just hanging around at home," or ,"why should I dress up to clean the house." But then they'll turn around another day and make comments about how they're not happy with their weight or whatever flaw they think they have, and so they just threw on a sweatshirt to cover up.

 

Again, there are those who really don't care how they look, but I suspect that more people than not do care. Maybe they're just not admitting it to themselves.

 

For me, I wear pretty much the same clothes everyday. I took a bit of time to collect stuff that fits well and flatters my particular body. You don't have to have a lot of stuff to look nice. Just a few nice -fitting pieces will do. You don't have to be dressed up, but you can still look nice i your few outfits.

[TraceyS/FL]

WEll, today I have my khaki gap pants on (i love these pants, but man did I eat to much in December). They are more cargo than chino - so casual. And then I have a red v-neck cheap Target t-shirt on.

 

Today isn't a total frump day - but I can't find shirts that fit me right. I wear a 14 in pants, and XXL in shirts. I have broad shoulders and a big chest. Everything cut lean just is uncomfortable (and I wear an XL shirt even when i'm skinny because of my shoulders).

 

Shirts that I can afford, that I like, that fit..... somewhat unattainable at the moment. Oh and I live in a retirement community - so every time i do try to go shopping, I think, "this must be "old people" clothing".

[Lady Florida.]

Disagree. Any adult at any age and weight can look frumpy. There are smashing-looking women that wear larger sizes. They just know how to wear clothes.

 

 

I also disagree. While I could stand to lose some weight, I know women who weigh much more than I do yet look so put together.

 

I'm large busted and find it difficult to find cute shirts that 1)look good on me, 2) aren't too low cut, and 3)I can afford.

 

Ugh. I hate it. And it's too hot here to wear a camisole most of the time, so I don't even have that option to help with the "be careful when you bend forward" part of busty-ness.

[a27mom]

I like to dress reasonably nice every day. It makes me feel a little strange to read so many responses that suggest that if you dress nicely you're superficial.

 

I can understand the people mucking out stalls aren't going to be dressed up. But for us non-farmers, it's ok to look nice.

 

And I'm not so sure that I believe everyone who says they're ok with looking frumpy. Some of you probably mean it, but my personal experience is that my friends who dress frumpily really do feel bad about the way they look and have given up. Sometimes they'll say they don't care because, "I'm just hanging around at home," or ,"why should I dress up to clean the house." But then they'll turn around another day and make comments about how they're not happy with their weight or whatever flaw they think they have, and so they just threw on a sweatshirt to cover up.

 

Again, there are those who really don't care how they look, but I suspect that more people than not do care. Maybe they're just not admitting it to themselves.

 

For me, I wear pretty much the same clothes everyday. I took a bit of time to collect stuff that fits well and flatters my particular body. You don't have to have a lot of stuff to look nice. Just a few nice -fitting pieces will do. You don't have to be dressed up, but you can still look nice i your few outfits.

 

 

Oh I don't think it is superficial to dress nice. Goodness, my mom and sil, who I adore, both get dressed everyday in great clothes. I don't think they are superficial at all. Although certainly there are probably people who are dressing nicely everyday for superficial reasons.

 

But similarly, it is bothersome when people generalize that those of us who hang out around our homes in sweats most likely have body image/ self esteem issues, or are neglecting their spouse.

I am sure there are many who do have these issues, but it is hardly across the board.

 

I am not trying to run down the blogger, but she definitely has self esteem issues, in the comments she says she looks "hideous" in her before picture. That is so sad.

 

Also just because one is unconcerned about dressing "fashionably", hair and makeup, doesn't mean that don't care about how they look. They may like how they look without all the add-ons.

 

In the winter I do tend to wear bulky clothing around the house because it is cold. In the summer my clothes around the house certainly show off my body, its hot I wear as little as decency allows.

[KungFuPanda]

I like to dress reasonably nice every day. It makes me feel a little strange to read so many responses that suggest that if you dress nicely you're superficial.

 

I can understand the people mucking out stalls aren't going to be dressed up. But for us non-farmers, it's ok to look nice.

 

And I'm not so sure that I believe everyone who says they're ok with looking frumpy. Some of you probably mean it, but my personal experience is that my friends who dress frumpily really do feel bad about the way they look and have given up. Sometimes they'll say they don't care because, "I'm just hanging around at home," or ,"why should I dress up to clean the house." But then they'll turn around another day and make comments about how they're not happy with their weight or whatever flaw they think they have, and so they just threw on a sweatshirt to cover up.

 

Again, there are those who really don't care how they look, but I suspect that more people than not do care. Maybe they're just not admitting it to themselves.

 

For me, I wear pretty much the same clothes everyday. I took a bit of time to collect stuff that fits well and flatters my particular body. You don't have to have a lot of stuff to look nice. Just a few nice -fitting pieces will do. You don't have to be dressed up, but you can still look nice i your few outfits.

 

 

Caring about your own looks and tending to your own version of 'put together' is fine. It's when you start giving fashion advice to people who haven't asked for it, or you've decided, based on their looks, that other women have given up or are fooling themselves, you've crossed into superficial territory. At that point ou have to ask why some other woman's appearance concerns you.

[a27mom]

Just thinking on what I meant when I talked about those who do manual labor having a different perspective.

 

I didn't mean, those who do manual labor have to be more practical so they don't dress up.

 

I meant those who do manual labor often (not always) feel good about their bodies while working hard, so what they wear to work hard, while not fashionable, feels like it looks good on them. That can carryover some to regular clothing. And since that "manual labor" good body feeling may be more powerful than "cute fitting top" good body feeling, clothing becomes less important to feeling confident and even "sexy"

 

Now it isn't this way across the board. I am sure some people just feel gross doing manual labor. But I do know a lot of people who feel empowered by it, like others feel empowered by cute clothes.