Problem with a P.E. teacher in a home school class

[Merry]

Here's a situation that I'm uncertain of how to deal with. We have been going to a home school P.E. class with the same teacher once a week for a few years now. I don't think my ds had any problems with him until this year. A few months ago, he was called out of an indoor hockey game several times for raising the hockey stick too high. I was not there at the time so I thought maybe he was just being silly or rebellious though he wasn't normally rebellious. Then everything seemed to go okay. A few weeks ago, he was called out a couple times again. This time, his friend noticed that he was being singled out so she tried doing the same thing that my ds was called out for right in front of the teacher. The teacher looked straight at her but did nothing. She did that several times but still got away with it. Then last week, while the kids were playing an indoor softball game, the teacher threw the ball right at him to tag him out several times. He laughed it off but later he told me that it hurt. Also, he was the only one that the teacher hit.

 

So what exactly is going on, do you think? Why is he being treated differently this year than the last few years? And why is the teacher picking on him? Or is he really picking on him or am I overreacting? The other mothers just sit there and don't seem to notice. I am going to bring my dh to class next time but I doubt that the teacher will do anything in front of him.

[Catwoman]

Why don't you approach the teacher and ask what's going on? I wouldn't allow this to continue.

[Shamzanne]

I wonder whether he notices that your son has some ability and is expecting more from him? I think this warrants a friendly chat with the instructor.

[Merry]

My ds is not the only good player in class. And I am not sure whether to take this seriously or not because we didn't have problems until this year and the teacher had always been very pleasant to everyone so I'm not sure what to say to him when we have the chat.

[Snickerdoodle]

How old is your son?

[Trish]

How can you be tagged out in softball by having the ball throw right at you? Or is this different than the traditional softball?

[LucyStoner]

How can you be tagged out in softball by having the ball throw right at you? Or is this different than the traditional softball?

 

Yeah, what's that all about? Softball is not dodgeball or kickball. Pelting people with balls is not a way to make an out in softball.

 

I'd be chatting with the teacher.

[Parrothead]

The teacher is nuts for throwing a ball at your kid. If the teacher's aim was off or your kid suddenly moved weird a soft ball could break a nose.

 

I'd either tell the teacher to knock it off or find some other activity for PE.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Perhaps in years past, you haven't noticed the teacher's true character--just as the other parents don't seem to be noticing anything now.

 

I would encourage you to go with your gut and either talk to the teacher or have your dh talk with the teacher.

[ccolopy]

How can you be tagged out in softball by having the ball throw right at you? Or is this different than the traditional softball?

This was my first thought. I can understand being pickier about a good athlete following the rules, but throwing a softball at a kid is just weird. :confused1:

[sassenach]

How old is your son? If he's not a teenager, I think I'd have a casual conversation with the PE teacher. Something that says "I'm watching you" without saying "stop picking on my little boy."

 

"Hey Jim, what's going on with Billy? I've noticed you riding him a little harder lately and I'm wondering if there was an incident or something." He'll either acknowledge it and maybe give you a reason, or deny it. If he denies it, I'd follow up with something like, "Oh, that's weird. I just thought I was sensing something last week when you kept nailing only him with the ball. Is that a new softball rule or something?"

 

I will say, sometimes a coach sees something that a mom doesn't. Maybe a little bit of a punk attitude that needs to be squashed. I would want to leave the conversation light enough so the coach feels like he can share anything like that. Also, if this kid is a teen, he needs to handle this himself, IMO. We have to let our boys start to have the harder conversations in life. You're still there as back-up, but let him give it a go first.

 

Because this is a new thing, I wouldn't assume that the coach is just mean and out to get him.

[Word Nerd]

I think someone needs to talk with the teacher--you, your DH, or both of you. Tell him it appears from what you've witnessed and heard from other students that your son is being singled out. Give him a chance to explain, and see what he says. If he becomes hostile and denies treating your son any differently even after sharing specific examples, I would find a new class. If your son is a teen, it would be better if he talked to the instructor.

[Anne in CA]

By all means, your dh should be the one to deal with this. My experience is that some people think happy, confident children need to be taken down a peg. This may be the issue.

[Merry]

I should have explained that it was not exactly a game of softball. The ball is more like a dodge ball than a softball except that the kids hit the ball with a bat instead of throwing it. Also, the kids tag each other by throwing the ball to get an out while they are running the bases.

My ds is eleven and in sixth grade so he still needs me or my husband to intervene for him. I was just wondering why the change in the teacher's behavior this year.\, and I appreciate several suggestions on how to go about the talk.

My ds is a bit of a clown and also he's hard of hearing but still, the teacher has known him since he was about seven years old. And he was not being a clown or not hearing the teacher at the time of the incidents. Oh, well, we'll just have to wait til my dh talks to the teacher to see what's going on.

[nono]

I should have explained that it was not exactly a game of softball. The ball is more like a dodge ball than a softball except that the kids hit the ball with a bat instead of throwing it. Also, the kids tag each other by throwing the ball to get an out while they are running the bases.

 

 

Say what????

 

I'm sorry, this is just weird. This is not a sport. I would feel uncomfortable with my children participating in a made-up sport. It's just weird. There's enough real sports out there. And, I'd really wonder about the dude who set up a fake sport. Really, I would.

 

Probably not the feedback you were looking for, so just ignore me. But, I am really just thinking something is way weird here.

[Lisbeth]

Google tall poppy syndrome. It is possible...

[Remudamom]

Hm. I'm not very subtle, I'd just square off on the sucker.

[myfunnybunch]

I'm sorry, this is just weird. This is not a sport. I would feel uncomfortable with my children participating in a made-up sport. It's just weird. There's enough real sports out there. And, I'd really wonder about the dude who set up a fake sport. Really, I would.

 

Probably not the feedback you were looking for, so just ignore me. But, I am really just thinking something is way weird here.

 

It sounds like kickball to me, except with a bat to hit instead of kicking the ball. Maybe to keep the kids from tripping over the ball when they're running up to kick it. I played kickball nearly every non-rainy day in the fourth grade.

 

But then, I don't think making up a game is cause for concern, anyway. It sounds like fun. :)

 

And to the OP, I'm with Remudamom, especially since another child noticed enough to play differently. The coach just needs a good swift kick in the pants.

 

Cat

[AndyJoy]

Say what????

 

I'm sorry, this is just weird. This is not a sport. I would feel uncomfortable with my children participating in a made-up sport. It's just weird. There's enough real sports out there. And, I'd really wonder about the dude who set up a fake sport. Really, I would.

 

Probably not the feedback you were looking for, so just ignore me. But, I am really just thinking something is way weird here.

 

I'm snickering that the fake sport weirds you out. Some of my favorite memories of brick-and-mortar school, summer camp, youth group, and AWANA are crazy-strange made up games. In fact, I tweaked a game last week to make it pretty wacky for the youth group I co-lead and the kids/teens loved it! When I taught P.E. at a Christian school, we mostly played "real" sports, but the boys liked a change now and then. Plus, it was a fun way for the traditional "super athlete" to not always be the best because the wacky sports required different skills, more teamwork, more thinking, etc.

 

It does sound like the coach has some issues, though. I've seen adults who act like this both in the classroom and on the field. Sometimes they are picking on the "best" kid to "take them down a peg", whether they're a prideful little snot or not. Sometimes, sadly, they pick on the kid that other kids pick on to make themselves seem "cool" (big grown-up bully). Sometimes they are so competitive that they seriously don't realize how stupid they look gloating over beating kids. (I had a male youth leader like this. He was SO PROUD that he beat me at Lightning/Bump Out. I was thinking, "Dude, I'm a 14-year-old girl and the oldest one here. You're a 32-year-old man. Congrats." Or maybe he just likes the kid and thinks he's being fun by "targeting" him. Whatever the reason, I would try to figure it out!

 

I wonder if maybe last year a different kid was the focus, but no one else noticed because it wasn't him/her? If the group has changed in some way (a star player or low-on-the-totem-pole kid left?) your son could be the replacement.

[LucyStoner]

OK, so it was basically kickball with a bat and a playground ball? Pelting someone with a softball is just plain dangerous so the modified kickball sounds better. I am not sure what the point is in batting at a playground ball, but OK.

[sassenach]

 

 

 

Say what????

 

I'm sorry, this is just weird. This is not a sport. I would feel uncomfortable with my children participating in a made-up sport. It's just weird. There's enough real sports out there. And, I'd really wonder about the dude who set up a fake sport. Really, I would.

 

Probably not the feedback you were looking for, so just ignore me. But, I am really just thinking something is way weird here.

 

Huh? I think it's strange that you think made up games are strange! I call these "PE games." It is extremely common. My kids have done PE through the Y and the city (after school run by the local elementary PE teacher) and both classes involve games like these.

[Upward Journey]

I should have explained that it was not exactly a game of softball. The ball is more like a dodge ball than a softball except that the kids hit the ball with a bat instead of throwing it. Also, the kids tag each other by throwing the ball to get an out while they are running the bases.

My ds is eleven and in sixth grade so he still needs me or my husband to intervene for him. I was just wondering why the change in the teacher's behavior this year.\, and I appreciate several suggestions on how to go about the talk.

My ds is a bit of a clown and also he's hard of hearing but still, the teacher has known him since he was about seven years old. And he was not being a clown or not hearing the teacher at the time of the incidents. Oh, well, we'll just have to wait til my dh talks to the teacher to see what's going on.

 

 

 

Say what????

 

I'm sorry, this is just weird. This is not a sport. I would feel uncomfortable with my children participating in a made-up sport. It's just weird. There's enough real sports out there. And, I'd really wonder about the dude who set up a fake sport. Really, I would.

 

Probably not the feedback you were looking for, so just ignore me. But, I am really just thinking something is way weird here.

 

I think this game is called Boom Ball. I remember playing it years ago.

[nono]

Huh? I think it's strange that you think made up games are strange! I call these "PE games." It is extremely common. My kids have done PE through the Y and the city (after school run by the local elementary PE teacher) and both classes involve games like these.

 

 

I didn't say made up game, did I? (And FTR, just because someone is making money off something or offering at a public school doesn't make it worthy of my notice. But you are correct, it probably does make it common.)

 

I have an issue with a "Coach" of a fake sport. Makes it darn near impossible to say if the Coach is out-of-bounds or not, doesn't it? So, how does Merry say, "You're out of line!" to this guy. Oh, she can't. Now, if it is a one time "Hey, let's take a break from all the formal stuff," sure. But a fake sport played regularly and needing a Coach? Why not remove the adult Coach and let the children just play with a little supervision? I bet they could make up their own games just fine.

 

However, it apparently does have a name and a set of rules published somewhere. http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Boom-Ball (Thanks Upward Journey -- never heard of such a thing!)

 

In reviewing the "how to" it doesn't state anywhere though about the Coach playing the game with the players, so I'm still just as confused about Merry's kid being thrown out in this game several times by the Coach lobbing the ball.

 

Sorry if I offended anyone by questioning this. My Title IX resume is fairly thorough...so before you throw eggs, realize I've done more than my share of competitive sports participation over the years. It is from that perspective that I'm reacting.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

 

 

I didn't say made up game, did I? (And FTR, just because someone is making money off something or offering at a public school doesn't make it worthy of my notice. But you are correct, it probably does make it common.)

 

I have an issue with a "Coach" of a fake sport. Makes it darn near impossible to say if the Coach is out-of-bounds or not, doesn't it? So, how does Merry say, "You're out of line!" to this guy. Oh, she can't. Now, if it is a one time "Hey, let's take a break from all the formal stuff," sure. But a fake sport played regularly and needing a Coach? Why not remove the adult Coach and let the children just play with a little supervision? I bet they could make up their own games just fine.

 

However, it apparently does have a name and a set of rules published somewhere. http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Boom-Ball (Thanks Upward Journey -- never heard of such a thing!)

 

In reviewing the "how to" it doesn't state anywhere though about the Coach playing the game with the players, so I'm still just as confused about Merry's kid being thrown out in this game several times by the Coach lobbing the ball.

 

Sorry if I offended anyone by questioning this. My Title IX resume is fairly thorough...so before you throw eggs, realize I've done more than my share of competitive sports participation over the years. It is from that perspective that I'm reacting.

 

 

It is a homeschool PE class. I have no idea why you are ranting about made up sports and fake coaches, but that doesn't appear to be the case here. I do recall in PE in high school our teachers participating in some of these types of games. Always seemed like fun to me.

[Delighted3]

I think the difference here is that he is not coaching a sport, but he is a PE teacher. Kids play all sorts of games in PE. I don't really have a problem with him playing the game with the kids. When I was in school, we had a great time when the teachers played games with us during recess or PE. Just plain fun. I think the OP's problem is that the teacher has suddenly become unfairly aggressive to her son which is not OK or fun.

Joy

[myfunnybunch]

But a fake sport played regularly and needing a Coach? Why not remove the adult Coach and let the children just play with a little supervision? I bet they could make up their own games just fine.

 

 

 

:) I don't think anyone is throwing eggs.

 

The way I read the OP, the child is enrolled in a PE class. The coach is the teacher/coach of the PE class. During the class, they play games, including Boom Ball. Unless I read it wrong, no one is introducing a new sport, even though this is an established playground/PE game. (I think the PE game vs. new sport frame led people to believe you were objecting to the coach making up a new game. You're just looking at it through a different lens.)

 

Whether the adult should be participating in the game, let alone targeting a particular player, is certainly an issue that should be addressed by all of the parents paying for the class.

 

Cat

[nono]

It is a homeschool PE class. I have no idea why you are ranting about made up sports and fake coaches, but that doesn't appear to be the case here. I do recall in PE in high school our teachers participating in some of these types of games. Always seemed like fun to me.

 

 

Sorry to appear to be ranting. I can't get my smilies to work suddenly (imagine a couple winks and such in my last response and maybe it'll "sound" better). To answer your question as to why my reaction, well in my experience with formal P.E. (as in a class called P.E.), it was all formal sports with defined rules. And the P.E. teachers taught the rules of the game and then coached while we played. As Cat said, different lens, because your definition was developed through your experience, which is quite different than mine.

 

I would feel ripped off if I signed my kids up for a formal P.E. class and games were more than an occasional occurance, so thanks for sharing what your experience has been. If I ever feel moved to do such a thing, I'll know to ask some pointed questions ahead of time!

 

The only reason I posted again was to answer subsequent questions. As I said in my first reply to Merry -- feel free to ignore -- but I wanted to throw my feelings out there in case they validated anything she was feeling about the situation.

 

P.S. Cat, I didn't think anyone was throwing eggs yet! (imagine the joking guy sticking his tongue out to the side of his mouth)

[Hwin]

We played a game like this but I think it was called Monster Ball. As far as what normal gym class entailed, in my school, if the coach could get kids to run around a little it counted as PE :p

 

I'm sorry he's being singled out, and if others are noticing, then it seems like a big enough problem to address with the coach.

[StephanieZ]

 

 

Say what????

 

I'm sorry, this is just weird. This is not a sport. I would feel uncomfortable with my children participating in a made-up sport. It's just weird. There's enough real sports out there. And, I'd really wonder about the dude who set up a fake sport. Really, I would.

 

Probably not the feedback you were looking for, so just ignore me. But, I am really just thinking something is way weird here.

 

 

So, I'm guessing you're not a fan of Calvin Ball?

 

LOL, I prefer made up games to official sports.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Sorry to appear to be ranting. I can't get my smilies to work suddenly (imagine a couple winks and such in my last response and maybe it'll "sound" better). To answer your question as to why my reaction, well in my experience with formal P.E. (as in a class called P.E.), it was all formal sports with defined rules. And the P.E. teachers taught the rules of the game and then coached while we played. As Cat said, different lens, because your definition was developed through your experience, which is quite different than mine.

 

It is not a definition or lens. P.E. classes *can* (and often do) include games other than formal sports. You may not have experienced that but it is quite common. P.E. classes also often include dances and other physical activities other than sports.

[Erica in OR]

 

So, I'm guessing you're not a fan of Calvin Ball?

 

 

Calvinball is exactly what I thought of too!

 

With "The score is still Q to 12" and the Pernicious Poem Place.

 

Erica in OR

[Catwoman]

I don't think the issue is about the game, as much as it's about the idea that the coach is whacking Merry's kid with the ball.

 

He's an adult. He's supposed to be the coach. If he wants to play the game, he should get a bunch of other adult men together on a Saturday afternoon and they can all throw playground balls at each other. But he shouldn't be targeting one kid in a game -- that's just being a big bully, and is not exactly setting an example of fair play and sportsmanship.

[Candid]

I'm snickering that the fake sport weirds you out. Some of my favorite memories of brick-and-mortar school, summer camp, youth group, and AWANA are crazy-strange made up games. In fact, I tweaked a game last week to make it pretty wacky for the youth group I co-lead and the kids/teens loved it! When I taught P.E. at a Christian school, we mostly played "real" sports, but the boys liked a change now and then. Plus, it was a fun way for the traditional "super athlete" to not always be the best because the wacky sports required different skills, more teamwork, more thinking, etc.

 

 

Agree, my children were able to participate in a PE class run by a college instructor who's students were college students learning to run an elementary PE program. All the games the children did were made up and used unusual balls, etc. The point was to develop skill sets: stick to ball, catching ball, kicking ball etc. and do so in a fun way that involved all students.

[sassenach]

 

I didn't say made up game, did I? (And FTR, just because someone is making money off something or offering at a public school doesn't make it worthy of my notice. But you are correct, it probably does make it common.)

 

I have an issue with a "Coach" of a fake sport. Makes it darn near impossible to say if the Coach is out-of-bounds or not, doesn't it? So, how does Merry say, "You're out of line!" to this guy. Oh, she can't. Now, if it is a one time "Hey, let's take a break from all the formal stuff," sure. But a fake sport played regularly and needing a Coach? Why not remove the adult Coach and let the children just play with a little supervision? I bet they could make up their own games just fine.

 

However, it apparently does have a name and a set of rules published somewhere. http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Boom-Ball (Thanks Upward Journey -- never heard of such a thing!)

 

In reviewing the "how to" it doesn't state anywhere though about the Coach playing the game with the players, so I'm still just as confused about Merry's kid being thrown out in this game several times by the Coach lobbing the ball.

 

Sorry if I offended anyone by questioning this. My Title IX resume is fairly thorough...so before you throw eggs, realize I've done more than my share of competitive sports participation over the years. It is from that perspective that I'm reacting.

 

 

You do realize that I wasn't offended or throwing eggs, right? I was just pointing out that it's common. FYI, it's also common for PE teachers of this sort to be called "coach." I guess what I'm saying is it seems like maybe you are unfamiliar with some very common aspects of PE classes and therefore expressing offense about things that are very common and normal to those of us who have participated in classes of this sort.

 

So, no eggs. No offense taken. No implication that you've never played sports. Deep breath.