Need input on ravenous teen and my own food issues

[Audrey]

My ds is 13 and since puberty hit hard about 1.5 years ago, he eats constantly, or so it seems. He is built like his father -- tall and naturally very lean, but I am concerned about weight (which is MY issue).

 

He isn't as active as his calorie consumption seems to warrant and I'm concerned that he is gaining unnecessary weight. He is still growing, and I do understand that kids "even out," but I find that he's grabbing any food he can find and just scarfing it down without any real thought to what he's eating.

 

I feel like I need to address this, but how can I do that without plopping my own weight issue right in the middle of it? I don't want him to get fat like me. It is sooooo hard to be a fat kid and it's taken me DECADES to get to what is no longer an obese weight (merely overweight at this point :001_unsure: ). We don't have junk food around. We don't eat processed stuff. He does seem to binge, though (or maybe that's just my perception?) on carbs like bread or rolls or pasta. He will sometimes make himself a big pot of macaroni and grate a big mound of cheese on it. This frightens me (I know! I know! It's my own issue!). I cannot help the way I feel about it, but I don't want to "mess him up" with my issues.

 

Advice?

 

P.S. This is truly not a JAWM post. Be your most brutally honest self. I can take it. :001_smile:

[Jean in Newcastle]

No advice. I'm in the same boat with my 15 year old.

[regentrude]

My son is 13 and eats, eats, eats. Constantly. He is hungry an hour after a meal.

 

I deal with it by:

 

1.Talking about healthy nutrition, pushing fruit, limiting junk food in the house.

 

2. Emphasizing the importance of exercise and insisting on daily exercise if possible. He does TKD two times a week for two hours and has horseback riding once a week. On the other days, I have to shoo him away from the computer and send him outside to walk or bike.

 

3. Talking about healthy eating habits: no eating out of boredom. No mindless snacking while doing something else (the only food i allow for this is fruit).

 

If he does all these things, he will be fine. What is most important to me is that he develops a habit of being physically active. We hike and rock climb as a family, so he sees us "walk the walk". I am not concerned about the amount of food he consumes. DD has gone through a similar phase at age 12 when she grew so much; she now eats normally, has a healthy weight and is very fit.

Edited November 3, 2012 by regentrude

[jhschool]

I am in the same boat.

Same exact things have been going on in our house

over the past few years.

 

As of a couple weeks ago,

DH is on Weight Watchers and I am counting calories,

since we both need to lose over 150 pounds between the

2 of us. DS is tall and lean but I am also worried that we

have been training him to eat to the point of being overweight

and it might kick in soon.

 

DH and I are solving this problem by:

NO refined pasta in the house AT ALL.

Last week we also agreed to have NO whole grain pasta even.

NO white bread in the house.

The only food in the house is whole grains (like brown rice, barley,

oatmeal), beans, fresh or frozen vegetables, potatoes, onions, and fruit.

Occasionally there will be a very small amount of junk food, like this

week for Halloween.

 

But in the olden days (only a few weeks ago actually) we kept the

pantry stocked with all shapes of pasta, ramen, white rice, white

baguettes (my favorite...sniff...) and fattening things like that.

We used to have potato chips in the house all the time and

an easy meal was chips and salsa!!!!! Now we have to cook if

we want to eat. The only easy to eat food is carrots and hummus,

or fruit.

 

If you keep only good food around the kid can eat anything he

wants and not get fat. You can have a pound of cabbage for coleslaw

(easy on the mayo) and not gain weight.

 

Also we are working on not ordering pizza. But we do it about once

a week anyway.

 

I hope this helps. Don't be scared of projecting your issues on him.

You know what it's like to be overweight (as do I) and you don't want

it to happen to him. I think that is very responsible of you. And now

is the time to intervene.

 

Also, you all have to follow the same rules. No secret mac and cheese

stash if he can't have any. (It's hard.)

 

Kudos for being a caring mom!

Edited November 3, 2012 by jhschool

[justLisa]

I totally get what you mean. I had an unhealthy relationship with food until after I had kids. I am very thin now, but I've been dying of anorexia, horribly overweight and everywhere in between.

 

My ds is husky. He is active enough, doesn't have a sweet tooth, eats vegetables, not much bread, etc. He is built like DH though, broad shoulders, very strong for his age and he over th 95th% for height. I force myself to not focus on his build and just make sure he is eating healthy, whole foods.

 

I know it is hard because I obsessed about my weight for the greater part of my life. I do NOT want to hand that over to him.

[Lady Florida.]

I'm dealing with the same thing right now. He is constantly eating but is not active like he once was. It is starting to show. I've been making him go out for a walk or bike ride daily but it isn't really enough. He too craves carbs.

[regentrude]

The only easy to eat food is carrots and hummus, or fruit.

You can have a pound of cabbage for coleslaw

(easy on the mayo) and not gain weight.

 

:confused:

But the reason a growing teen eats this much is because he needs those calories... the whole head of cabbage will not provide him with the energy he needs. He will feel full due to the sheer volume the cabbage takes up, but his body won't get the calories necessary to sustain the growth.

I am not sure why excluding whole food groups for a healthy teen is considered a good thing. Where is he supposed to get the calories from?

[coffeegal]

:confused:

But the reason a growing teen eats this much is because he needs those calories... the whole head of cabbage will not provide him with the energy he needs. He will feel full due to the sheer volume the cabbage takes up, but his body won't get the calories necessary to sustain the growth.

I am not sure why excluding whole food groups for a healthy teen is considered a good thing. Where is he supposed to get the calories from?

 

:iagree: Is he eating enough protein and fat?

[JFSinIL]

You can't compare the eating habits of a growing teen boy and an older mom who needs to lose weight. Just keep plenty of healthy food around for him, and don't be jealous when you see him inhale a pizza or mac 'n cheese. Get him some free weights, too, and encourage him to make sure he grows muscle instead of flab.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

My ds is 13 and since puberty hit hard about 1.5 years ago, he eats constantly, or so it seems. He is built like his father -- tall and naturally very lean, but I am concerned about weight (which is MY issue).

 

He isn't as active as his calorie consumption seems to warrant and I'm concerned that he is gaining unnecessary weight. He is still growing, and I do understand that kids "even out," but I find that he's grabbing any food he can find and just scarfing it down without any real thought to what he's eating.

 

I feel like I need to address this, but how can I do that without plopping my own weight issue right in the middle of it? I don't want him to get fat like me. It is sooooo hard to be a fat kid and it's taken me DECADES to get to what is no longer an obese weight (merely overweight at this point :001_unsure: ). We don't have junk food around. We don't eat processed stuff. He does seem to binge, though (or maybe that's just my perception?) on carbs like bread or rolls or pasta. He will sometimes make himself a big pot of macaroni and grate a big mound of cheese on it. This frightens me (I know! I know! It's my own issue!). I cannot help the way I feel about it, but I don't want to "mess him up" with my issues.

 

Advice?

 

P.S. This is truly not a JAWM post. Be your most brutally honest self. I can take it. :001_smile:

 

If you are giving him balanced meals and keeping healthy snacks around, then no, you DON'T need to address it. His body is growing and if he lean, then yes he is using those calories.

 

Don't make your issues his.

[JumpyTheFrog]

Your post isn't quite clear about if he's overweight or not.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Your post isn't quite clear about if he's overweight or not.

 

Seems pretty clear: "He is built like his father -- tall and naturally very lean"

[LucyStoner]

Teens eat. My husband, tall and lean and never vaguely overweight, recalls eating whole pans of Mac and cheese, mixing bowls full of cereal and whole milk etc as a teen. I (who never gained till after my son was born) used to eat 3 plates of pasta with meat and veggie sauce for dinner or a full pizza when I was like 14 and quite thin. Growing takes a lot of calories. A lot. Don't keep soda and snack cakes around and let him eat what he wants. I agree that encouraging him to take up some exercise would be a healthy habit to form- weights are good, as would be something like rowing or running or biking.

[bolt.]

It sounds like you are aware of the nutritional value of foods, so I think you are doing well to pinpoint that things like bread and pasta are very tasty, as well as being quick, easy, and initially filling -- but if he's actually growing (and actually hungry) they aren't the kind of food he primarily needs for that... fine in moderation, but not a pillar of his health.

 

I suggest that you buy those things in smaller quantities, with specific plans, and be 'out' of them more often. If you plan to make a pasta meal, buy the pasta that week, in the size you need, and mark it, "For supper, do not eat." Also, buy the whole grain versions, even if they aren't as tasty to anyone. That might help too. (Similarly, buy maybe only a half-dozen rolls, in whole wheat rather than having plenty on hand.)

 

I also suggest that you serve bigger meals, with more helpings and more protien. It's possible that you might be in a 'not too much of anything' mode based on your own needs (to feel satisfied without eating too much) rather than on his needs (to get enough nutrition at meal times so he doesn't feel hungry too soon). Also, consider *planning* (and even serving) at least one healthy meal-like snack on a daily basis.

 

Milk might be good for him to fill the crannies of a meal/snack with protien to keep him full longer... possibly even whole milk.

 

A specific tip: pearl barley is an amazing pasta substitute, and a great convenience food. It's a good whole grain, quite filling, smooth to the taste, not mushy, and has little flavour of its own. The reason it's a convenience food in my house is because I take the time to rinse, cook, rinse again, dry and freeze it in serving sizes. This takes about an hour for enough barley to last a month. Once prepared this way, it takes 3 minutes to thaw/heat it and top it with a sauce... it's my go-to food, and it might be a good one for both you (whole grain, lean) and your son (filling, fast, carby, pasta-like).

 

Another thought: Does he get enough variety to get all his vitamins/minerals? If not, his constant 'hunger' might be seeking something, and a good multivitamin could help a lot.

Edited November 3, 2012 by bolt.

[Harriet Vane]

If you are giving him balanced meals and keeping healthy snacks around, then no, you DON'T need to address it. His body is growing and if he lean, then yes he is using those calories.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Make sure he eats plenty of protein and fats--that will decrease the craving for carbs.

 

Other than that, teenaged boys have an unbelievable appetite. This is normal, and what his body needs with all the growth and hormonal stuff.

[Audrey]

:iagree: Is he eating enough protein and fat?

 

 

Do you mean my ds (sorry, not sure if you're asking me or the pp of the pp)?

 

I think he gets very generous amounts of protein and good fats at regular meals. I, personally, eat low carb, but dh and ds do eat carbs as they please. However, our meals do not include much carb, unless they want to have bread with their supper. I plan protein and vegetable based meals for all of us, going easy on the carbs (not eliminating them). I do not restrict their carbs otherwise, though. Again, trying not to project my issues onto others who don't (at this point, yet) have a weight issue.

[Farrar]

Seems pretty clear: "He is built like his father -- tall and naturally very lean"

 

But then she said she's concerned he's putting on unnecessary weight, so I wasn't entirely sure either.

 

Teen boys eat a shocking amount and can metabolize things no one else on earth can. :tongue_smilie: My experience teaching was that virtually every single parent of 13 and 14 yo boys didn't send them to school with enough lunch. Because it's just hard for us to conceive of. Obviously building healthy habits is important, but teen boys really are a whole other ballgame.

[Audrey]

I'm dealing with the same thing right now. He is constantly eating but is not active like he once was. It is starting to show. I've been making him go out for a walk or bike ride daily but it isn't really enough. He too craves carbs.

 

 

This is starting to be an issue. We are outdoor people, but in the winter it is less so, even though we enjoy several winter sports/activities. This past summer, however, ds wasn't nearly as active as he had usually been.

 

I need to make it a habit to get him off of the computer and out the door more. :001_unsure:

[Audrey]

If you are giving him balanced meals and keeping healthy snacks around, then no, you DON'T need to address it. His body is growing and if he lean, then yes he is using those calories.

 

Don't make your issues his.

 

 

That's exactly what I don't want to do.

[Audrey]

Your post isn't quite clear about if he's overweight or not.

 

 

On the BMI charts, he isn't overweight for his height, but he is creeping towards that. Usually, he is leaning towards the almost underweight side of that scale. That's why I am concerned. For him, this is unusual.

[Audrey]

It sounds like you are aware of the nutritional value of foods, so I think you are doing well to pinpoint that things like bread and pasta are very tasty, as well as being quick, easy, and initially filling -- but if he's actually growing (and actually hungry) they aren't the kind of food he primarily needs for that... fine in moderation, but not a pillar of his health.

 

Thanks. This is the kind of talk that he would understand. He's a very "facts-oriented" kind of kid.

 

I suggest that you buy those things in smaller quantities, with specific plans, and be 'out' of them more often. If you plan to make a pasta meal, buy the pasta that week, in the size you need, and mark it, "For supper, do not eat." Also, buy the whole grain versions, even if they aren't as tasty to anyone. That might help too. (Similarly, buy maybe only a half-dozen rolls, in whole wheat rather than having plenty on hand.)

 

I can do that with the pasta for sure! I bake our bread and rolls, but I can easily just make less.

 

I also suggest that you serve bigger meals, with more helpings and more protien. It's possible that you might be in a 'not too much of anything' mode based on your own needs (to feel satisfied without eating too much) rather than on his needs (to get enough nutrition at meal times so he doesn't feel hungry too soon). Also, consider *planning* (and even serving) at least one healthy meal-like snack on a daily basis.

 

You know... I *think* I serve big meals, but maybe I don't. Maybe that's just *my* perception. I think I need to actually ask ds (and dh) if bigger portions would be warranted.

 

Milk might be good for him to fill the crannies of a meal/snack with protien to keep him full longer... possibly even whole milk.

 

A specific tip: pearl barley is an amazing pasta substitute, and a great convenience food. It's a good whole grain, quite filling, smooth to the taste, not mushy, and has little flavour of its own. The reason it's a convenience food in my house is because I take the time to rinse, cook, rinse again, dry and freeze it in serving sizes. This takes about an hour for enough barley to last a month. Once prepared this way, it takes 3 minutes to thaw/heat it and top it with a sauce... it's my go-to food, and it might be a good one for both you (whole grain, lean) and your son (filling, fast, carby, pasta-like).

 

We do like barley. I should get more creative with it.

 

Another thought: Does he get enough variety to get all his vitamins/minerals? If not, his constant 'hunger' might be seeking something, and a good multivitamin could help a lot.

 

I don't think it's that. He does get a multi and an omega-3 2x day.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

On the BMI charts, he isn't overweight for his height, but he is creeping towards that. Usually, he is leaning towards the almost underweight side of that scale. That's why I am concerned. For him, this is unusual.

 

 

You should be careful when applying BMI to growing teens. It is not a diagnostic tool, and by itself does not tell you much.

 

Look, you know the issue is really yours, not his. Continue to keep healthy food available and quit worrying about his weight.

[bolt.]

You know... I *think* I serve big meals, but maybe I don't. Maybe that's just *my* perception. I think I need to actually ask ds (and dh) if bigger portions would be warranted.

You know, maybe don't ask... just make a double recipe, keep filling plates ("Can I get you some more of that?") and see how much gets eaten. It's a better way to get a baseline.

[Audrey]

You can't compare the eating habits of a growing teen boy and an older mom who needs to lose weight. Just keep plenty of healthy food around for him, and don't be jealous when you see him inhale a pizza or mac 'n cheese. Get him some free weights, too, and encourage him to make sure he grows muscle instead of flab.

 

 

Good idea. Dh lifts weights for "winter exercise." Perhaps getting him involved will help. They do share a similar build.

 

Which makes me think... I should ask dh if he was a walking food vortex when he was a teen, too. :lol:

[LizzyBee]

I was naturally thin when I was younger, and the downside of that is I didn't develop healthy eating habits and self-discipline. So even for kids who are not overweight, I think it's important to talk about making healthy food choices even if you don't restrict them from eating what they want. One of my friend's teen daughters are always ravenous, and they'll come home from school and start eating whatever they can find. She stops them and tells them to wait 10 minutes; if they're still hungry, they can eat another item. I like that because it trains her kids to pay attention to their body signals. I use that line on myself sometimes. :tongue_smilie:

[Audrey]

[/color]

You know, maybe don't ask... just make a double recipe, keep filling plates ("Can I get you some more of that?") and see how much gets eaten. It's a better way to get a baseline.

 

 

Good point.

[Audrey]

You should be careful when applying BMI to growing teens. It is not a diagnostic tool, and by itself does not tell you much.

 

Look, you know the issue is really yours, not his. Continue to keep healthy food available and quit worrying about his weight.

 

 

I understand what you're saying. It's easier said than done. Being overweight is a very hard place to be. I don't want to enable him to be there, KWIM? At the same time, I don't want to make him neurotic about food either. Fine line to walk.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I understand what you're saying. It's easier said than done. Being overweight is a very hard place to be. I don't want to enable him to be there, KWIM? At the same time, I don't want to make him neurotic about food either. Fine line to walk.

 

 

Pretty easy line with a 13 year old. Don't go there if there isn't a problem.

 

And yes, I have struggled with weight (still do!) and have one teen slightly older than yours and another in college. Most teen boys eat. A lot. DH used to be able to eat an entire pizza at that age. He was also skinny as a rail until his 30s.

 

Trying to create "solutions" to something that is not a problem is feeding your issues and is not healthy.

[posybuddy]

When my boys were younger teens, I came to the realization that they would eat carbs from the moment they crawled out of bed until the moment they crawled back in - and never, ever be full. Plus they were scrawny and not particularly energetic. So, I decided to get rid of the empty carbs, and it made a huge difference. They actually eat LESS because they are filling up on protein and fat instead and it keeps them full longer. I took the toaster out of the kitchen and put it in storage, and they get a loaf of whole grain bread a week which is enough to keep them in sandwiches. Otherwise they get full-fat homemade yogurt (to lower the sugar content), veggies, string cheese, stuff like that. We are all happier.

[Stayseeliz]

I don't think it's wrong to help your kids watch what they eat. DH and I have both struggled with weight and we regularly talk to the kids about eating right so they don't have to fight a weight problem when they are older and about being healthy.

 

I like to keep them active but I talk to them more about nutrition and how food makes them feel more than forcing activity. I used to spend mounds of time at the gym and talked to the weight lifters a lot. The ones with guts and big muscles would freely tell you they went home after working out hard and eating a bag of reese cups. Our health and weight is probably 90% of how fit we are. I do keep my kids active and they pretty much move from one sport to another but I want them to eat WELL. I keep lots of good food in the house and limit junk. Beyond that I try not to worry too much. It'd hard though!

[Liz CA]

You could use your own weight issue to talk to him as in "it is easier to make good choices now than trying to lose weight...or something like that."

I'd steer him toward a lot of lean protein like organic chicken, turkey, eggs that have yolks the color of school buses (tons of omega 3).

 

Is he involved in a sport? If not you could encourage it. They burn a lot of energy that way...and get hungrier. :D But it builds muscle and good habits not to mention sportsmanship.

 

My son was eating a lot during that time. The next growth spurt will likely even it all out.

[jhschool]

:confused:

But the reason a growing teen eats this much is because he needs those calories... the whole head of cabbage will not provide him with the energy he needs. He will feel full due to the sheer volume the cabbage takes up, but his body won't get the calories necessary to sustain the growth.

I am not sure why excluding whole food groups for a healthy teen is considered a good thing. Where is he supposed to get the calories from?

 

The whole food groups (I wouldn't really call them food groups)

we are excluding are pasta, white bread, chips, white rice,

tortilla chips, ramen, etc. We are not excluding any whole grains, beans,

potatoes, onions, or any fruits or vegetables. We also are not excluding

skim milk, yogurt,

or half-fat cheese. I think among all these allowed food groups

there are enough calories to sustain growth. I wasn't suggesting feeding

him only on cabbage. :)

Sorry if I was not clear.:001_smile:

[ondreeuh]

My experience teaching was that virtually every single parent of 13 and 14 yo boys didn't send them to school with enough lunch. Because it's just hard for us to conceive of.

 

When dh taught freshmen and sophomores a couple of years ago, he allowed eating in the classroom as long as it wasn't noisy (like chips). He had many boys who would eat a huge amount of food between breakfast and lunch - like two full sandwiches.

 

Personally I vacillate between wanting to limit my kids to only healthy foods, and wanting to just fill them up with dense calories so they can go more than 2 hours between snacks. The four year old grazes constantly, and it gets tiring of always handing out carrots and hummus, apple slices, milk with instant breakfast, whole wheat crackers with peanut butter, toast with an egg, and yogurt. Sometimes, like last night, I just make mac & cheese with cut up hot dogs because I know it will buy me more time.

 

DS just interrupted me to ask if I would make him a smoothie. :lol: I use lowfat yogurt, skim milk, and fruit, but should look into adding some vanilla protein powder.

[FaithManor]

Three walking black holes here! :lol: Middle ds is off the charts, medically underweight from a metabolic issue - hypermetabolism of some sort - and has to eat 3500 calories a day and almost zero of that from grains because if we let him replaces fats, veggies, or proteins with grains in even a small amount, he will lose weight which is VERY bad for him.

 

The other two, also black holes and thin though not medically so. Now, what I do see happening often is a cycle of wolfing down unbelieable, astronomical amounts of food, putting on some weight that I can notice though nothing scary, just noticeable, and then having a sudden gain in height. My boys have never been gradual growers. They seem to even out, not get taller for a while, and then BOOM! Practically overnight, they are a couple of inches taller. So, I don't worry about it because it seems that their bodies are storing up for future growth.

 

It's hard. I don't want them to develop bad habits. However, I've come to realize that as adults, we need to make adjustments for not being kids anymore instead of making kids adopt an adult - slower metabolism/not growing anymore - diet.

 

I am overweight and I fight it, fight it, fight it. My metabolism is awful and my thyroid is apparently impossible for the medical profession to regulate. But, everytime I start to worry about them, I remember that I have medical issues they do not have. They are tall and lean and FAST metabolizers just like their father who has a difficult time putting on weight. I know that I have to account for the fact that we our DNA is vastly different.

 

That said, it is.not.easy. having four "men" around me (Dh also eats a LOT of food) and everytime I'm hungry, I'm staring at three carrot sticks, three celery sticks, a handful of cashews, and some pintos or black beans and that's pretty much it. It's pretty darn upsetting to have to eat so little and crave nice foods that they can eat and I cannot. However, I did decide not to make it that much harder by keeping a wealth of things around that I can't eat. I removed the grains, leaving them just a healthy bread in the house for making sandwiches, and I no longer bake. I made some other changes and figured that it will not hurt them to be snacking on non-carb heavy things. This seems to help me keep my sanity. However, it's never easy when dh makes a bunch of 8 oz. steaks on the grill. It's hard to turn my back with three bites on my plate next to the pintos. :tongue_smilie:

 

Faith

[misty.warden]

It's hard to see your kids engaging in behaviors that you know can eventually lead to being overweight *if* they continue after the growing period has stopped. Many peiple dont realize that being overweight maens your life become an uphill battle just to maintain once you've lost the pounds. One more stress you hope to spare your children because you know how tough it is to live with.

 

Make sure he knows to eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full, and if he says he's hungry but completely refuses balanced snacks in favor of just fast easy carbs then its a craving, not hunger in a physical sense. If he knows how to make (or help you make) healthy meals and snacks, all you can really do is hope the ravenous eating stops when it's no longer necessary for his growth. IMO, teenagers who gain weight from irresponsible eating after their bodies stop needing the nutrients were never taught how to "eat to live" rather than food being a recreational thing.

 

BMI is useless because it was made for adults only and based on statistics from 40 years ago collected by insurance adjusters and does not take into account body composition, making very muscled people obese when they may actually have low body fat.

[Lisbeth]

:confused:

But the reason a growing teen eats this much is because he needs those calories... the whole head of cabbage will not provide him with the energy he needs. He will feel full due to the sheer volume the cabbage takes up, but his body won't get the calories necessary to sustain the growth.

I am not sure why excluding whole food groups for a healthy teen is considered a good thing. Where is he supposed to get the calories from?

 

Agree. I was a high metabolism kid and young adult, perpetually eating, no weight gain.

[momto2Cs]

Audrey,

 

As an overweight mom who has struggled to lose weight, I totally get where you are coming from. In my case, my oldest is only 11, but I am beginning to see that he's going to eat a lot as a teen! He's not overweight, but does occasionally put on a little pudginess. My dd9 is a bit overweight, so that concerns me too, and I try really hard to find a balance between concern and making it an issue.

 

What I am doing is this:

 

I also cook low carb meals. I cook a lot, hoping for leftovers, but also to have seconds available. I serve seconds of veggies BEFORE seconds of anything else.

 

Between meal snacks are somewhat limited. They are allowed to have fresh fruits, veggies, hard boiled eggs, nuts, string cheese, and hummus. Occasionally I'll make some whole-grain, fruity yummy thing, and then they can have a SMALL serving of that as a snack too.

 

Desserts lately are (whole milk) yogurt and fruit, with an occasional drizzle of honey. For example, they'll have a baked apple with a drizzle of honey and some whole milk vanilla yogurt.

 

I make sure they play, actively, outside everyday. We go for family walks. Ds is starting to do some weight training with my husband, on our Bowflex, and he does fencing. Dd does roller derby, and I have her walk on the treadmill for 15-20 minutes a day if we don't make it out for the family walk. I am trying to make regular physical activity a bigger part of our day to day lives... hiking, swimming, bicycling, etc.

 

I agree with the idea of approaching it as nutrition, not as a weight issue. Show/teach him about nutrition, the best foods for health, etc.

[SunnyDays]

Good idea. Dh lifts weights for "winter exercise." Perhaps getting him involved will help. They do share a similar build.

 

Which makes me think... I should ask dh if he was a walking food vortex when he was a teen, too. :lol:

 

I guarantee you that he was. Every teen boy I've ever known was! ;)

 

As long as he's eating mostly healthy foods, and as long as you encourage him to stay active, there's nothing to worry about. He's at a age where he's going to go through multiple growth spurts, and he's hungry all. the. time.

 

I remember watching my brother go through this. He would eat 5-6 times a day, and just kept needing more. My son, at 9, has already started going through growth spurts, and he's not to the "bottomless pit" stage yet, but I can foresee the day. :)

[medawyn]

No teens here, but I'm comparing my adult brother and my adult husband...

 

I remember my brother eating voraciously as a teen, and he definitely went through a few "pudgy" phases, esp. as an early teen. He would then shoot up multiple inches in an amazingly short time. My MIL reports that my DH was the same way.

 

Fast forward to now...

 

My brother is in excellent shape and a very healthy weight for his 30-something body. My husband is less so. The primary difference is the eating habits they were taught, and by this I mean the habits surrounding the activity of eating, rather than whether food was healthy or not. I know my dh doesn't know a calorie from a coconut, and I'm pretty sure my brother is not much better. I also know, having grown up with my mother, that she and I can recite the calorie content of pretty much every bite we put in our mouths. She just tried not to heap her bad habits on my brother (I, on the other hand, didn't escape!).

 

What my mother did do, that my MIL did not, is establish good eating routines with us as children/teens. We ate as many meals/snacks as possible at a table, doing nothing but eating. We helped in the kitchen frequently, and we both learned what goes in to making a meal. We sat down for family meals multiple times a week, or as often as crazy schedules permitted. My MIL never cooked, often threw money at her teens to drive through a fast food lane, and they virtually never sat down to a meal as a family.

 

I think the major difference between my dh and my brother at this point is their awareness of eating habits - not so much nutrition, although both could certainly learn this if it was necessary - but knowing how to sit down and enjoy/appreciate a meal. Granted, this was not much in evidence in my brother's teen years; I'm not sure he chewed from the first bite he took as a wee one until he was actually trying to behave on dates with girls (and this still didn't stop the inhalation of food at the family table!). My dh, on the other hand, frequently snacks mindlessly, and will frequently work through breakfast or lunch and have no idea what he ate, how much, or if he was actually hungry.

 

All this to say, as difficult as it is to not project our own food issues onto children, the outward habits you establish in your family without a lot of comment - primarily the mindful consumption of food - can make a huge impact on teens, especially of the male persuasion. It certainly won't guarantee a life without weight problems, but I do think learning to eat mindfully creates a nice background awareness that can help facilitate healthy eating in a future adult.

[Laurie4b]

I think the most important thing right now is to encourage the exercise. Exercise that he likes, that he can do alone or with one other person (not having to find a whole team!) is so important for a healthy life. Aerobics + strength training.

 

As for the foods, I actually would ask him if he's eating because he's really that hungry or if he's just pigging out.

 

When I was a teen, we had to keep a food log and count the calories for a few days for biology or health class or something. I was logging 5,000 calories per day! I was an athlete and had a nice figure, not even slightly overweight. However, there came a day when the "pigging out" part began to have an effect. I wish that I had had someone talk with me about eating reasonably, even though I wasn't showing the weight. It's one thing to eat when you're hungry until you're full. It's another thing to "pig out." The macaroni event sounds a bit more like pigging out.

 

I am now overweight, and have been on the lower end of obese. I do tell my teens that it is best never to gain the weight in the first place because once you are overweight, your body's chemistry is set up to hold onto it. I figure that's in the category of flossing your teeth, etc. It is just good advice.

[katilac]

I would absolutely not mention weight, period.

 

It sounds like you have the healthy foods pretty well in hand. Other than that, focus on keeping busy and exercising for non-weight-related reasons.

 

He needs to be exercising for his health, period. It's not okay for lean kids to not exercise, because you cannot be healthy without being active. Just add P.E. to his school list if needed.

 

If he seems to be eating frequently out of boredom, then I would take a look at his schedule and activities. Is he getting out of the house on a regular basis? Does he have hobbies and interests that he spends time on? Regular chores? If he is fairly busy, he won't have a ton of time for 'bored' eating.

 

Those are the two things I would concentrate on (along with healthy foods, which you already seem to have a good handle on). If he is busy, active, and eating healthy foods, then there is no reason to focus on weight.

 

And, just for the record, there hasn't EVER been a person active enough to justify a teen's calorie consumption! Growing really does throw that whole calorie counting thing out of whack.

[Denisemomof4]

I could have written your post 8 years ago. The biggest concern I did have was all those carbs!!! I will NEVER forget the day ds20 ate an entire large pizza (a LARGE, large pizza!) and then had a sundae afterwards.

 

I really think you should not be concerned. My son was never athletic. He was rail thin and is finally starting to fill in during the past year or so.

 

I was absolutely AMAZED (and also jealous!) at how much food that kid could put down. It also shocked me to see his portion size (huge!) but even more astonishing, he'd go right to the pantry either immediately after dinner or soon thereof. Since he was my first, it was all such a shock and I absolutely had concerns.

 

I tried limiting carbs, buying less, etc. But he ended up not eating as much. He was starving. Most teens do eat a lot of carbs. I chose to make them as healthy as possible like making pumpkin rice pudding (delicious but not real sweet), breads from freshly milled grains, pasta with veggies in it, bagel pizza, etc. I made a deal with him. Sliced veggies and hummus or salad had to be with every carb and had to be eaten first. I also started to make yummy marinaded salads that he'd use as a dip for tortilla chips.

 

I really would try not to be concerned. While none of my kids were ever chubby, I have seen their friends go chunky to thin to chunk to thin.:001_smile:

[Denisemomof4]

One other snack I made was trail mix. I'd change the ingredients each time. I added a ton of nuts, raw AND roasted/salted, chex mix, pumpkin seeds, dried fruit. I always changed up the nuts, seeds, sweet and carb so they wouldn't get bored. It was more satisfying because there was more fat and pritein, and it also gave them the carb they craved. I had a huge, over sized mason jar out on the countertop at all times. It was a huge hit.

[Corraleno]

I find that he's grabbing any food he can find and just scarfing it down without any real thought to what he's eating.

.... He does seem to binge, though (or maybe that's just my perception?) on carbs like bread or rolls or pasta. He will sometimes make himself a big pot of macaroni and grate a big mound of cheese on it.

I agree with everyone else that calories are really not an issue, but I do want to say something about the carb scarfing...

 

My DS14 has also gone through an almost supernatural growth spurt in the last couple of years (currently approaching 6'3"!), and he would live on nothing but toast, cereal, and mac-n-cheese if I let him. If he starts the morning with a lot of simple carbs, then he tends to just keep eating them all. day. long., while complaining that he's hungry even if he just ate 30 minutes ago. I suspect that it's more of a blood sugar thing than actual hunger, and I notice that when he's eating lots of bread and other empty carbs that he also tends to be more spacey and tired than usual.

 

OTOH, if he starts the day with a really high protein/high fat breakfast (like a cheese omelet with ham or sausage), then he not only tends to be more alert and energetic, he also tends to snack less on things like cereal or granola bars. So I try to keep lots of high protein/higher fat foods around for snacking, like beef or turkey jerky, string cheese, cold cuts for roll-ups, full-fat Greek yogurt, deviled eggs, cooked chicken breast, roasted almonds, apples & peanutbutter, etc. Those tend to be a lot more filling and less likely to cause the kind of blood sugar fluctuations that can lead to mindless snacking.

 

Jackie

[Joshin]

Please don't mention weight!

My 12 year old is entering the bottomless pit stage. He's built like Dh, tall and thin and actually has trouble putting on weight. DH has struggled his entire life with keeping his weight up in a healthy range (as in, underweight and sees a nutritionist and Dr. about his metabolism issues).

 

My mom started making comments to DS about his eating habits, becoming fat, or having a heart attack (she has weight issues). He became worried and tried to only eat at meal time, which lead to a starving, grumpy skinny kid who's terrified of getting fat. It's gotten better since I had a talk with mom and DH had a talk with DS (the bottomless pit is back), but it's crazy how much they internalize this stuff, then take it to the extreme.

 

My kids, which are both thin, tend to pudge up a bit right before they shoot up 6 inches. The pudge really shows on their skinny frames, too. According to MIL, she had a separate grocery budget for DH when he was a teen, and it was triple what it was for the other three members of their household. DH grew 10 inches one summer when he was 14. He grew so fast, he was prescribed painkillers for the excruciating growing pains. He has stretch marks on his legs from that growth spurt -- his skin couldn't keep up!

 

I'd spend more time pushing activity than worrying about food. Google healthy high calorie snacks for some ideas of better choices to keep around instead of empty carbs, although an active growing teen boy can usually burn off the carbs just by blinking rapidly!

[DianeW88]

You can't compare the eating habits of a growing teen boy and an older mom who needs to lose weight. Just keep plenty of healthy food around for him, and don't be jealous when you see him inhale a pizza or mac 'n cheese. Get him some free weights, too, and encourage him to make sure he grows muscle instead of flab.

 

:iagree: This. It is unbelievable how much food boys can put away. My oldest ate constantly at that age, and while he did gain some weight (not to the point that anyone would have even considered him overweight, but I noticed), when he hit about 15 or 16 and started getting taller, it melted away. He's 22 now, and lean.

 

My youngest is now heading into that slightly "rounded" stage now. I'm not worried about it this time around. Although I'm still hideously jealous of the amount of food they can both put away with absolutely NO weight consequences whatsoever. :glare: