my2boysteacher Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My 4 year old started swimming lessons last week. It is her first swimming class, and and I was expecting a nice, easy, FUN class to get her used to the pool. Instead, she had a teacher who INSISTED she go underwater, even when DD expressed extreme resistance. Well, DD cried and called for me through the whole 30 minute lesson, and it took every ounce of my resistance not to go scoop her up and run. The teacher kept insisting she 'had to' do this and that, and repeatedly made her put her head in the water, and jump into the pool from the side. Now, this particular pool is known for pushing kids, but I never thought they would behave this way with a 4 year old on her FIRST LESSON! Is this normal for a preschool swim lesson? Are they really expected to be pushed so far beyond their comfort zone? I do not want to take her back and put her through that again. Am I being over sensitive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Our pool expects kids that age to put their heads under the water and jump off the side. If they don't, then they don't pass. Most of the instructors here will only push to a point though. They try to get the kids to do it, but they won't force the issue if the kids is scared. It's better for the child to repeat a level than to be scared of the water because he/she was pushed too hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 This is going to vary so much. Everyone swims where we live, so my dc were in swimming lessons at two. I chose a private person and trusted her completely. There were tears for about 10 minutes, and by the end of the week they swam enough to get back to the side. I think being comfortable in the water is a big thing. If you take her out of lesson, take her yourself to the pool and play with her a lot so she is comfortable. I really don't think there is a -too early- for that! Our swim team starts three year olds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my2boysteacher Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 Our pool expects kids that age to put their heads under the water and jump off the side. If they don't, then they don't pass. Most of the instructors here will only push to a point though. They try to get the kids to do it, but they won't force the issue if the kids is scared. It's better for the child to repeat a level than to be scared of the water because he/she was pushed too hard. That is my main concern, that she will develop a fear or strong dislike of swimming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 That was done in my son's preschool swim classes as well. Usually though they were encouraged to be a mermaid and went under that way first. Jumping in was expected every time as well. The teacher would hold hands at first but the kid had to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 At our pool, they will want them to do each skill by the end of the 8 weeks, not by the end of the first lesson. So they would absolutely not insist in the way this teacher did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 At our pool, they will want them to do each skill by the end of the 8 weeks, not by the end of the first lesson. So they would absolutely not insist in the way this teacher did. :iagree: My kids have never been forced to do something the first day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiKC Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I am all about not babying kids at swimming lessons - couldn't stand it when instructors would ASK if they wanted to get in! I wasn't paying to have my kids say, "no, I want to sit on the steps and watch you teach the rest of the kids". But I think what you're describing is too harsh on the first day of the lesson. I would think they'd start with blowing bubbles for kids who are scared to go under. I'm not sure what I'd do now. I'm afraid if you do pull her, that you'll give her a negative impression about swim lessons. Maybe talk with the instructor and ask her to go easy, conceding that you realize she will not progress as much as most of the kids do. But at this point you want her to not hate lessons and you feel the first lesson was a bit much for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guateangel Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I'd take her out, unacceptable. You don't want her to fear the water. Kids eventually go under but not forcefully. Wait a year and give her lots of opportunities to freely play in the water. She'll get it. :) Well, DD cried and called for me through the whole 30 minute lesson, and it took every ounce of my resistance not to go scoop her up and run. This is what concerns me...30 minutes? :( Not ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my2boysteacher Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 I am all about not babying kids at swimming lessons - couldn't stand it when instructors would ASK if they wanted to get in! I wasn't paying to have my kids say, "no, I want to sit on the steps and watch you teach the rest of the kids". But I think what you're describing is too harsh on the first day of the lesson. I would think they'd start with blowing bubbles for kids who are scared to go under. I'm not sure what I'd do now. I'm afraid if you do pull her, that you'll give her a negative impression about swim lessons. Maybe talk with the instructor and ask her to go easy, conceding that you realize she will not progress as much as most of the kids do. But at this point you want her to not hate lessons and you feel the first lesson was a bit much for her. Yes, I will definitely call tomorrow and ask why the huge push. It just doesn't make sense to me that they would start out this way when her class is 4 months long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 The face under water thing (first you blow on it to make the child hold their breath) works when they are very little -- like 6mo. But for a 4yo ... I've never paid for lessons with anything like forced dunking. Sound like your pool is not dunking, but is just strongly encouraging with the understanding that the final word rests with the child. If this is true, and even is child is screamer (even for the fulll 30min), I would let the instructor go on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Maybe talk with the instructor and ask her to go easy, conceding that you realize she will not progress as much as most of the kids do. But at this point you want her to not hate lessons and you feel the first lesson was a bit much for her. I'd do that. And then pull her out if the instructor isn't willing to back off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My pool would never force that with the young kids, or insist on it. They encourage bobbing under the water, and if a kid won't do it, they'll try to wheedle him into it, but if the kid refuses, they'll say okay, you don't have to do it, and they'll make a note of it, and try again the next lesson. If by the end of the session they haven't done everything they were supposed to, they won't pass the class, but big deal- they'll have gained some experience, and they'll repeat the level the following year when they're more ready. In the meanwhile, they won't have been made even more afraid of water, afraid of swim teachers, afraid of lessons, etc. I would never allow my child to participate in something like what you described, and I would way rather them repeat lessons and/or learn a bit later than hate and fear the water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 I would love that class for my dc (and have chosen a similar instructor,) but if it isn't the approach you are looking for, I would say to simply find a different facility. It woudl be difficult to have the instructor make different rules for one child, because at that age, it will influence the others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 What you describe is not how my kids' swim class went. When they started they were five and seven, and hesitant to put their faces in the water. The first class should definitely be about fun. So what if she has to repeat? Better to happily repeat than stressfully pass. My kids' level one class was almost entirely about getting comfortable in the water. Everything else was pretty minor. They take Red Cross classes through the city parks. Occasionally a classmate's parent has gotten in the pool to encourage. All in all it has been more about encouraging and getting them excited, rather than forcing them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 No one I've worked with has made a student put their face in. I would never make a child put her face in. With the younger ones we may play games that purposely splash the child (not the first day) so they can experience water in the face while playing and see it's not horrible. Getting the face wet "by accident" in a game is a way to introduce putting the face in--agian, never done on the first day. One way I do this is passing a ball back in forth in class and letting it splash in front of the child. The child is often so occupied with the ball it takes a second to register her face is wet and then she realizes she wants to get back to throwing the ball elsewhere. Very simple. To pass out of the first level the child needs to put her face in on her own. No one is forced. Some children take multiple sessions of 8 week lessons to do this. Forcing a child to do this will create a fear and any progress will stop. Please speak to the pool manager about your experience and ask to either remove your dc for a refund or switch to an instructor with a gentler approach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lailasmum Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My dd's swimming lesson at 3 & 4 were a bit more subtle than that. Mostly about working up to swimming under water. We gave up swimming lessons after redoing the level multiple times because she refused to get her face wet and couldn't follow the directions in a group of ten. I think at 4 they were fairly good about not forcing the kids to do the same thing but when she was 6&7 still not doing it they got more forceful. What helped us was the lesson plans on the Uswim website. They are really gentle and I took her myself and did them with her. She went from complete fear of water on her face to jumping in the deep pool to retirieve things on the bottom in about six weeks. I think she'd manage rejoining in with swimming lessons now. I think some teachers are just not very good with kids and other are better. Some inspire the confidence to try something new and some just seem mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Dd is 27 months and I taught her to swim between Memorial Day and her birthday about a month later. She was already comfortable with water because I did a mommy and me class last summer and we have a pool. Dh and I spent 1 1/2 hours with her in the pool any day that it wasn't raining. I pushed, but I wouldn't have pushed that hard on the first day. They have a much shorter time period to try to get kids to swim and yes yours is older. Maybe you should work with getting your child to go underwater willingly before continuing swim lessons, because that is hard to overcome. By the way dd swims like a fish now. I can throw her in from the side of the pool and she will swim to the side a crawl out. She can also back float which was another part that was really difficult to overcome. There is a swim school about an hour from here that won't let parents watch the swim classes. My guess is this sort of thing is the reason why. ETA: I second the USwim website. We used that a bunch to figure out progression of what she should be able to do and methods to get her there. We are having to wait on teaching strokes, because she isn't consistently counting yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 At our pool, they will want them to do each skill by the end of the 8 weeks, not by the end of the first lesson. So they would absolutely not insist in the way this teacher did. :iagree: Find a teacher whose philosophy matches yours. I was never forced, and swim well, same with my son. My daughter was terrified a year ago, and so this year I worked with her and NEVER forced her, and now she puts her face in and blows bubbles, and is only 2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 This is why I like private swim lessons. They insisted my son jump off one of the diving blocks. He refused. They went on and on. He left the pool. Its not the end of the world if my 4 year old won't jump off a diving block. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkateLeft Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My younger daughter is employed as a Water Safety Aid for our city Parks & Rec department. She assists in teaching swim lessons to young kids, and loves teaching the preschool classes. This past summer, she taught my special needs 6yo to swim. Her program would never insist that a child go underwater in the preschool class. Each class (based on Red Cross levels) has specific requirements in order to pass, but it's not unusual for a child to be at a single level for at least a couple of sessions, sometimes more. (My ds was at the same level for almost a year!) A child that is fearful of going under water needs more practice with water adjustment. The first step is to help them feel comfortable getting their face wet. My daughter would play games to encourage the child to do things like blow bubbles, splash and eventually get their face and hair wet. Some kids do need to be pushed outside their comfort zone, but for others, that can backfire and lead to long term water anxiety. A lot depends on the parents though. At the first session, my daughter and the instructor will meet individually with each child's parents to find out their goals and expectations. That helps them figure out how best to teach each kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 At our pool, they will want them to do each skill by the end of the 8 weeks, not by the end of the first lesson. So they would absolutely not insist in the way this teacher did. :iagree:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 1. Does she have goggles? Make sure she has goggles that are comfortable and don't leak. 2. Ask for a different instructor/class. Swimming should be fun. The instructor should be able to differentiate between the kids who need a Drill Instructor and the kids who need hand-holding. 3. Go to open swim and let dc play. 4. Take private lessons and start with "old lady" breaststroke - the kind the people do who don't want to ruin the hair. Dd does not need to put her face in the water for this. Many countries start with breaststroke. She will put her face in the water once she is comfortable in the water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My kids needed that. After spending too much money over 4 summers on classes where they cried and were allowed to not participate and put their heads in (and learned nothing), and years of freaking out and clinging to me in the pool every single time, we signed them up at a special needs swimming school. For me, swimming is a safety issue and non-negotiable. I don't care if they don't want to learn. I told the instructor ahead of time what they were like. I'm not sure if they teach all the kids the same way or not. So, the first day, both girls cried the whole time. They were gently made to put their heads in repeatedly as part of the lesson. I wouldn't say it was "dunking," but it was part of the swimming movement they were going through. I thought for sure that it would be awful trying to get them to go back the next week but they actually did really well and didn't cry much at all. They only protested a little. After 1 month, they were finally swimming! They weren't swimming well, but they would put their heads in voluntarily and were trying hard. I was so excited and they loved it. They said they wanted to be swimming teachers when they grew up and it was their favorite thing ever. They were not traumatized and it had helped them. It's no fun to be scared at the pool when everyone else is happy. I agree that goggles are very helpful for kids who are scared. My then 2/3yr old had classes at the same place and she wasn't forced under like them. She willingly cooperated with the water play, however, and....she was mostly a baby. They still had her head under on the first lesson, but there was no need to coerce her. We moved and couldn't keep swimming and they regressed. We signed them up for lessons at the new place and it was, again, a waste of money. They protested they didn't want to put their heads in, were not forced, and didn't learn a thing and are worse off than they were before. I will never take them to another swim lesson unless the instructor is clear on the fact that they will have to force the issue. IMO, every kid is different and some will grow out of their fear of putting their heads in and some won't without a strong push. Some won't even if you take them to the pool every day! If you aren't comfortable with that type of instruction and think your DD will be fine with a more laid back approach, then you may want to find a different school. You might want to take her back and see how the next lesson goes, however. She may surprise you and love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my2boysteacher Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 Thanks for all the replies, lots of good advice! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my2boysteacher Posted September 13, 2012 Author Share Posted September 13, 2012 1. Does she have goggles? Make sure she has goggles that are comfortable and don't leak. 2. Ask for a different instructor/class. Swimming should be fun. The instructor should be able to differentiate between the kids who need a Drill Instructor and the kids who need hand-holding. 3. Go to open swim and let dc play. 4. Take private lessons and start with "old lady" breaststroke - the kind the people do who don't want to ruin the hair. Dd does not need to put her face in the water for this. Many countries start with breaststroke. She will put her face in the water once she is comfortable in the water. Yes, we bought her some good goggles which she loves to wear, but the instructor made her take them off half-way through the lesson. DD told me afterwards that the water 'hurt her eyes'- the chlorine, I am guessing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 Our pool expects kids that age to put their heads under the water and jump off the side. If they don't, then they don't pass. Most of the instructors here will only push to a point though. They try to get the kids to do it, but they won't force the issue if the kids is scared. It's better for the child to repeat a level than to be scared of the water because he/she was pushed too hard. Same here. They are to do that before they can move up, so insisting is part of it. But they can't make them do it. My ydd was in the preschool class until she was 6 because she wouldn't go under! I always laugh and say they finally moved her up because she was too tall. The 2 and 3 yr olds next to her looked mighty short. Now had she cried and been petrified, I might not have made her go back. Mine was nervous to go because she knew they would ask her to go under. But when it came time, she just stood there and didn't do it. She enjoyed the rest of the class with the games and songs. Now at 8, she is progressing right along and goes under fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 At our pool, they start preschool lessons with letting them play with a plastic watering can. The teacher has one too and she playfully pours water over their heads so they can get used to having water in their face. She also starts having them try to blow bubbles in the water and starts teaching them how to kick and move their arms in the water. When they are learning to kick, they are either holding the side of the pool or hold the teacher's arm or shoulder, while she is helping them to kick. Eventually, the teacher will start taking them under quickly but that is not the first day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 but the instructor made her take them off half-way through the lesson. ERRRRR. Ask why. And don't buy the "if they fall off a bridge/boat/dock they won't have their goggles on" excuse. They also won't be putting their face in the water then, they'll be looking for shore and calling for help. I HATE it when they do this. No wonder she won't put her face in. Tell the instructor its not negotiable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoundAbout Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 My 4 year old started swimming lessons last week. It is her first swimming class, and and I was expecting a nice, easy, FUN class to get her used to the pool. Instead, she had a teacher who INSISTED she go underwater, even when DD expressed extreme resistance. Well, DD cried and called for me through the whole 30 minute lesson, and it took every ounce of my resistance not to go scoop her up and run. The teacher kept insisting she 'had to' do this and that, and repeatedly made her put her head in the water, and jump into the pool from the side. Now, this particular pool is known for pushing kids, but I never thought they would behave this way with a 4 year old on her FIRST LESSON! Is this normal for a preschool swim lesson? Are they really expected to be pushed so far beyond their comfort zone? I do not want to take her back and put her through that again. Am I being over sensitive? Maybe a little. We go to a pretty renowned private swim school, after a year and a half of useless YMCA lessons. They would not force kids to put their heads in the water the very first day, though maybe by the second. They do it by planing the kids through the water on their sides and then gently turning them (hard to describe). Sometimes it involves crying but because its pretty gentle and not a huge dunk the kids get over it quick. They also don't give kids the chance for drama by making them do it themselves and get worked up about it - the instructor turns them into the water. Within about 5 lessons my son went from hating to put his face in the water to gliding face first. After gliding they work on arms, then kicking, then breathing. The other thing I love about our swim school is they do not force kids to jump into the water until they can actually swim some. I learned to swim as an adult and frankly *I* would not have jumped in a pool until I could swim, so I think its pretty dumb that many places expect kids too. They do have to get over the face in the water thing pretty quick if they want to swim. That's one of the reasons we left the Y - they never forced it and we never got anywhere. Meanwhile at our swim school we've gone from not putting face in the water to proper freestyle with side breathing and backstroke. Even more important is that DS LOVES the water and is extremely confident. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted September 13, 2012 Share Posted September 13, 2012 :iagree: I'd take her out, unacceptable. You don't want her to fear the water. Kids eventually go under but not forcefully. Wait a year and give her lots of opportunities to freely play in the water. She'll get it. :) This is what concerns me...30 minutes? :( Not ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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