Babies & soda - yes or no

[justamouse]

I know I'm probably in the minority here.

We do not forbid soda. We often keep it in the house and the children (well, minus the newborn) have access to it. Our 10 year old only randomly drinks it and our 3 year old has about a glass a day.

 

On that note, I saw a mention that soda, wine, and beer are "grown up drinks". I guess I missed that memo, as did my husband. We give our 10 year old a small glass (in a wine glass) of wine if she asks for it when we have wine with dinner (fyi - this is perfectly legal in our state). She doesn't care for it, so she generally doesn't ask (or she only wants to taste it). *shrug* My husband is first generation American and it was very typical for children to take in small amounts of wine when he was growing up and in his home.

 

OP - I would be upset in your situation because, regardless of my view on THIS subject (ie food and beverage consumption), someone did something they were expressly told not to do with a child who (I assume) wasn't theirs to do so with. Although, if it is a grandparent they should probably get used to it - my children's grandparents are always sneaking them SOMETHING :D.

 

 

Wine is healthy. It's full of antioxidants and resveratrol. IT's something taken in moderation (and I do agree with allowing children to have it as youngsters so that they learn the self control). It has a list of good health benefits.

 

But what is healthy about soda? You're comparing apples to oranges.

[Mommy_of_4]

No way! My 5yr old barely has soda!

[mommaduck]

I think because we know so much more now. At this point it seems willful ignorance to give a baby soda. A couple of sips once or twice isn't so bad, but as a constant drink? This baby is being set up-through no choice of their own for-diabetes, (and all of the ongoing problems it causes) obesity (and the litany of problems it causes), teeth problems, not to mention what it's doing to their small gut.

 

This baby has no idea. It hasn't read any articles, it totally depends on its parents to make the best choices for it--and they aren't. And I know that that happens ALL the time, but it's not like the information isn't out there in a big way at this point.

 

Will they survive? Sure, basically, but they won't be thriving. It's like stacking the deck against your own kid, and it's hard enough out there as it is.

Some of us either care enough or have been taught to research various issues. Unfortunately, there are many that simply do things without thinking, without research, or what they have seen others (their own parents) do, etc. Especially those that are poverty stricken. There are some that are poverty stricken that are determined to read and make sure they are doing better by their children. There are others that just fly by the seat of their pants and don't give a lot of thought to their decisions...or at least not until someone brings the issue to the forefront for them.

[AimeeM]

Wine is healthy. It's full of antioxidants and resveratrol. IT's something taken in moderation (and I do agree with allowing children to have it as youngsters so that they learn the self control). It has a list of good health benefits.

 

But what is healthy about soda? You're comparing apples to oranges.

I didn't say there was anything healthy about soda (I was responding to another reply stating soda, wine, and beer are "grown up drinks").

On that note, though, there are many things we take part in once in a while that are unhealthy or not wholly necessary for survival. I would never want to live without those little treats. Personally :tongue_smilie:.

[mommaduck]

Wine is healthy. It's full of antioxidants and resveratrol. IT's something taken in moderation (and I do agree with allowing children to have it as youngsters so that they learn the self control). It has a list of good health benefits.

 

But what is healthy about soda? You're comparing apples to oranges.

:iagree: Soda and wine are two different categories. Our youngest gets a spoonful of wine every week and has since she was a few months old ;) (via communion :D )

[Soror]

I think because we know so much more now. At this point it seems willful ignorance to give a baby soda. A couple of sips once or twice isn't so bad, but as a constant drink? This baby is being set up-through no choice of their own for-diabetes, (and all of the ongoing problems it causes) obesity (and the litany of problems it causes), teeth problems, not to mention what it's doing to their small gut.

 

This baby has no idea. It hasn't read any articles, it totally depends on its parents to make the best choices for it--and they aren't. And I know that that happens ALL the time, but it's not like the information isn't out there in a big way at this point.

 

Will they survive? Sure, basically, but they won't be thriving. It's like stacking the deck against your own kid, and it's hard enough out there as it is.

:iagree: And I'd much less aghast at small amounts of wine then soda, although a baby that age doesn't need anything but bm or formula.

[Soror]

I didn't say there was anything healthy about soda (I was responding to another reply stating soda, wine, and beer are "grown up drinks").

On that note, though, there are many things we take part in once in a while that are unhealthy or not wholly necessary for survival. I would never want to live without those little treats. Personally :tongue_smilie:.

 

Your not a rapidly growing child though. Babies and adults bodies are not anywhere close to the same, which is why young children up to age 12 months need bm or formula the needs for their bodies are different.

[Julie in CA]

When my oldest ds was about 4 months old, I walked into the room to find dh watching tv and sharing his popsicle with my *exclusively breastfeeding* baby. I wasn't thrilled, but truthfully, it's a small thing on the parenting spectrum, and I talked with dh about the possible consequences and then left it at that.

 

My dh comes from a long line of sugar consumers. His mom repeatedly tried to put sugar on the bananas that I would mash up for the babies. They put sugar on cantaloupe. :confused: They eat white bread toast with butter and chocolate sprinkles for breakfast. :glare:

 

I was annoyed, but for the most part, the joy of family dealing with baby, and the joy of baby being loved to the extent that the grandparents (and yes, even their dad) wants to share with them *what they think of* as some of the real pleasures of life--well, that's such a positive in my mind, that I really mostly just let it go.

 

That does not mean that I did nothing. I would smile when my mil tried to put sugar on the bananas, and say with humor, "Nope, not happening on my watch! This baby is sweet enough without all that sugar!", and then I'd laugh and move the banana away, and keep feeding.

 

I just think the mother, in this case especially, should pick her battles. I would encourage her to invite dad along for the next ped visit, and I would tell dd to let the nurse know ahead of time that dad might need a little direction about nutritional choices for baby.

 

Some of the decisions that mom makes for the baby will also likely be wrong.

In the whole scheme of things, I think this is a small one, and will not completely offset all of the other healthy things that will be done for this baby.

 

With all of that said, no, I would never EVER give a baby soda! ;)

[Soror]

Dh and I don't always agree exactly and his and my own family are more lax than I am by far, but soda for a baby is non-negotiable. I let mine have popsicles and suckers and grannies and drank capri sun, but they don't feed them anything until at least 18 months unless it is real food.

[GoVanGogh]

I certainly don't agree with giving soda to a baby, but one of the above posts made my think of how my generation was brought up with "formula" made with canned milk and corn syrup. Both my mom and MIL fed this mix. My mom talks about giving us sweetened applesauce and cereal, though I have no idea what it was sweetened with. (I have my baby book somewhere and my mom noted when I started different foods - mashed meat at 3 months?!)

My MIL was insistent when I had a child that breastfeeding was awful and a waste of time when "canned milk and corn syrup are perfectly fine."

I know there are a lot of chemicals and artificial ingredients in soda, but I would imagine there were in canned milk and corn syrup in the '60s.

I'm not saying this was good, just that for some generations/families this was normal.

[Julie in CA]

Dh and I don't always agree exactly and his and my own family are more lax than I am by far, but soda for a baby is non-negotiable. I let mine have popsicles and suckers and grannies and drank capri sun, but they don't feed them anything until at least 18 months unless it is real food.

To each his/her own, but there are two parents involved. Clearly, the mom here should have picked a dad that had more values in common, but that's not the case.

 

I guarantee that somewhere along the line the mom will do something that dad thinks is horrendously bad parenting, and dad may be right about that. It's one of the hazards of having babies without a strong bond between the parents. It makes it notoriously difficult to agree on the functions of daily life and raising a child.

 

There is always a spectrum in parenting (as in most things) from perfect, to absolutely horrible. I have yet to see anyone get it perfect. The parentS get to decide for their own dc. That means dad gets to decide too. Perhaps later on, dad will be the one who really gets out and does active things to encourage fitness, while mom may not be super-motivated in that area. If only we could all make *all of the perfect choices* for our dc. It's a balance of the things we do right vs. the things we don't get right. In this case, dad's getting it wrong. Tomorrow it will be something else that somebody didn't make a great choice about, and something else that they got just right. No parent gets it just right, and *everyone* makes parenting choices that are clearly wrong, even if they don't see it at the time.

 

With all of that said, I doubt that an 8 month old is so proficient at drinking through a straw that they are consuming much of the poison we refer to as "soda". I'm also assuming that dad doesn't have the baby for every meal, and that in other ways the baby is doing fine nutritionally.

 

I wouldn't hyperventilate over dad making a different choice regarding soda consumption. There will be much bigger parenting fish to fry later on. :001_huh:

[TammyinTN]

No soda at all.

[Soror]

I haven't seen it mentioned either that soda is linked to lower bone density as well. Seems like obviously a horrible idea for a rapidly growing child.

[Soror]

No one will be perfect, but I won't just throw in the towel either and say none of it matters. The health of our children is pretty high up there in priorities.

[AimeeM]

Your not a rapidly growing child though. Babies and adults bodies are not anywhere close to the same, which is why young children up to age 12 months need bm or formula the needs for their bodies are different.

I don't disagree. I exclusively breastfed my 3 year old until he was a year old (no solids other than yogurt after abut 7 months). I continued to nurse him until almost 3 years of age. I certainly do not debate that soda, on any regular basis, for an infant, is a bad idea. I'm not sure I see the big deal in an over-indulgent grandparent (or other relation) "sneaking a treat" by way of a small sip in a straw... even at 8 months old. However, my issue with the situation would be that the person was told expressly NOT TO; that's a huge no-no.

[Murphy101]

I think that women biologically are perhaps more tied to their children and aren't as likely to disengage as men are. Obviously this is a gross generalization but perhaps there is a tendency there within the generalization.

 

Oh what bull. The tendency is for fathers to be regularly relegated to weekend babysitters and for mothers to be have all the parental control, which tends to make most men disengage after years of frustration. Women put in the same situation tend to disengage as well.

 

I wouldn't be happy about the soda but I'd be more unhappy with myself for having a baby with an idiot for a father.

 

:iagree:

 

At this point all she can do is beg for a change of opinion. Good luck with that. Dad has the right to feed his kid whatever he wants that isn't classified as unsafe. Pop, legally, meets that definition. I imagine she is going to have far more of these type of incidences over the years and I suggest she find a healthy way to cope with it.:grouphug:

[Julie in CA]

No one will be perfect, but I won't just throw in the towel either and say none of it matters. The health of our children is pretty high up there in priorities.

I may have missed it, but I didn't see anyone mention throwing in the towel, or that it doesn't matter, or saying that the health of children isn't a high priority.

 

What I did see is people mention is that it's wise to pick your battles, and that setting up antagonism between an unmarried dad and mom before the child is even a year old is probably not going to be a good idea, and in the long run is probably a lot more harmful than a drip of soda through a straw.

 

In a perfect world, we'd all do the perfect thing nutritionally for our dc. In the real world, healthy choices/habits are made along a spectrum and no one gets every facet just right.

 

I didn't and still don't give my dc CapriSun, or most of the other sugary things mentioned. I don't think it's healthy, and I wouldn't do it. I don't think there's any magical age where those things become acceptable, and I think it's just as wrong for a kid as for an 8 month old. If you were truly doing everything right for the health of your dc, I think you wouldn't allow garbage food regardless of the age of your dc. I respect your right as a parent though, and the choice is yours. I think the dad in this case deserves the same. Educate him if possible, but don't assume that our determination of what constitutes health is the only correct answer. Is it healthy to give an 8mo soda? Obviously not. Is it healthy to give an 8yo soda? Obviously not. Once I'm making all of the perfect choices (as if that can even be determined!), all of the time, that's when I'll stomp my feet about someone else's flawed (but not fatally flawed) parenting choices.

 

I'd save my ammo for the big issues. They *will* come. A tiny bit of soda through a straw occasionally isn't ideal, but it's also not a hill I'd die on.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Julie in CA

[Murphy101]

my issue with the situation would be that the person was told expressly NOT TO; that's a huge no-no.

 

No, it isn't in this case.

In this case, the person isn't just some person, it is the FATHER.

He has every right to give his child pop if he wants. He not only does not need her permission, he does not need to obey her like some babysitter or extended relative.

 

I am adament that I don't agree with it. I don't even like buying juice. And my 1 year old has only ever had breastmilk or water to drink.

 

But if I made a baby with a man that I have no future with and no mutual understanding with, then this is the price I pay: I will have to raise a child with a man that doesn't care about my parental opinion when making his own parental decisions. It sucks. No doubt about that. But it doesn't give me the right to refuse to let him be a father to his child.

 

I would try to be as non confrontational as possible and simply pose why I have my stance.

 

It is highly addictive.

It replaces healthy option. (They are only going to consume so many calories on any given day, pop calories displace healthy calories.)

Possibly future health issues.

Possibly behavioral issues.

 

And I would make suggestions as to what could be used instead. I'm don't even like giving juice, but compared to pop, I'd give watered down juice. I'd also be sure to pack healthy snack treats, so the kid isn't fed hoho and twinkies all day.

 

But really if dad thinks she is being a controlling harridan, he may ignore all that anyways.

[AimeeM]

No, it isn't in this case.

In this case, the person isn't just some person, it is the FATHER.

He has every right to give his child pop if he wants. He not only does not need her permission, he does not need to obey her like some babysitter or extended relative.

 

I am adament that I don't agree with it. I don't even like buying juice. And my 1 year old has only ever had breastmilk or water to drink.

 

But if I made a baby with a man that I have no future with and no mutual understanding with, then this is the price I pay: I will have to raise a child with a man that doesn't care about my parental opinion when making his own parental decisions. It sucks. No doubt about that. But it doesn't give me the right to refuse to let him be a father to his child.

 

I would try to be as non confrontational as possible and simply pose why I have my stance.

 

It is highly addictive.

It replaces healthy option. (They are only going to consume so many calories on any given day, pop calories displace healthy calories.)

Possibly future health issues.

Possibly behavioral issues.

 

And I would make suggestions as to what could be used instead. I'm don't even like giving juice, but compared to pop, I'd give watered down juice. I'd also be sure to pack healthy snack treats, so the kid isn't fed hoho and twinkies all day.

 

But really if dad thinks she is being a controlling harridan, he may ignore all that anyways.

I didn't know it was the father (still trying to read through all replies).

[higginszoo]

As a parent, I might offer a baby a sip (1-2 mL) now and then (once each time we were out ~ every month or two), but only as a parent ... I would never give any to someone else's baby, as it needs to be pretty tightly controlled, and a sip here, a sip there adds up, so it's only for the parent to do/control.

[happypamama]

I would be beyond livid. Even aside from the fact that all of my babies have been exclusively breastfed at that stage (allergies being one huge concern), I'd be so angry I'd have a very hard time calming down. Feeding infants is one of my very major "hill to die on" issues, because I believe that it can have very rough life-long consequences. Thankfully, my parents and ILs have recognized their own health issues, and they are very respectful of how I choose to feed my babies; if they felt the need to sneak something, especially something sugary, to an infant, that would honestly be one of the things that would cause me to bar visits from them.

 

One, giving something to a baby without parental permission is just wrong (and if this is the other parent, that's a whole different can of worms).

 

Two, there's no redeeming value to soda, and it is actively harmful to teeth, bones, taste buds, etc., plus it's horribly addictive. (The case can be made that juice provides vitamins, or even that since it's so hot maybe a little water wouldn't hurt even a breastfed baby, but the same can't be said for soda.)

 

Three, just WHY??? Babies don't need soda to be happy. Ugh.

 

This is beyond "oh, I was eating pizza/crackers/cheese/whatever and the baby wanted some." I'm sorry for the mom and her baby.

 

ETA: I see that this is the other parent. Oh, dear. That would be so heartbreaking. (And no, I don't think that a parent doing something that is well-known to be harmful should be swept aside because of "at least he's involved.") I would insist that he stop (unless there were also other hot buttons, like not using carseats or smoking around the baby -- soda for infants would come below those things, though it would be close), and I'd also insist that he come to the next doctor's visit. If he refused to come to the doctor, I'd be worried about what else might happen when he had the baby, and I'd be looking at what point was needed to warrant a court visit to sue for custody. I don't know enough about how that works, though, and I doubt soda alone would be enough to make that point, but if the ped says no to it, maybe it can get added to a list if she has other concerns. (Yes, I'm married to my children's father, and I do think that sometimes Mom needs to keep her mouth shut, but if my DH was actively and often showing a disregard for the children's well-being, I'd be doing something -- whether that was never allowing him to take the children anywhere if I felt he disregarded basic car safety, or providing all meals/snacks myself if I felt he was totally clueless, or even removing them and myself from the home if he was smoking in it. When we have a question, we research and share our reasonings and have discussions; if someone can't do that and listen to basic health advice about children, that would be a problem.)

 

Otoh, if Dad is otherwise a good dad, just clueless in this area, that's different, but then he should also be willing to listen to the ped's advice.

Edited July 11, 2012 by happypamama

[Parrothead]

No, it isn't in this case.

In this case, the person isn't just some person, it is the FATHER.

He has every right to give his child pop if he wants. He not only does not need her permission, he does not need to obey her like some babysitter or extended relative.

 

I am adament that I don't agree with it. I don't even like buying juice. And my 1 year old has only ever had breastmilk or water to drink.

 

But if I made a baby with a man that I have no future with and no mutual understanding with, then this is the price I pay: I will have to raise a child with a man that doesn't care about my parental opinion when making his own parental decisions. It sucks. No doubt about that. But it doesn't give me the right to refuse to let him be a father to his child.

 

I would try to be as non confrontational as possible and simply pose why I have my stance.

 

It is highly addictive.

It replaces healthy option. (They are only going to consume so many calories on any given day, pop calories displace healthy calories.)

Possibly future health issues.

Possibly behavioral issues.

 

And I would make suggestions as to what could be used instead. I'm don't even like giving juice, but compared to pop, I'd give watered down juice. I'd also be sure to pack healthy snack treats, so the kid isn't fed hoho and twinkies all day.

 

But really if dad thinks she is being a controlling harridan, he may ignore all that anyways.

:iagree:Totally. If this is the baby's father giving the junk food (soda may not be the only thing the baby is getting.) then oh, well. It is his kid too. He has just as much right to give it as the mother does to withhold it.

 

He needs educating not vilifying.

[Soror]

:iagree:Totally. If this is the baby's father giving the junk food (soda may not be the only thing the baby is getting.) then oh, well. It is his kid too. He has just as much right to give it as the mother does to withhold it.

 

He needs educating not vilifying.

 

I would and have educated dh about various things. I guess it is beyond my understanding that a reasonable person would ignore the facts, especially in something relating to the health of their young child. Dh defers to me on most matters of babies, well pretty much all matters on babies until we get to the toddler/discipline stage. As he would say I've researched and studied and he hasn't and doesn't care to because he trusts me in such matters. Small babies are always with me as well, pretty much until 18 months or so unless I'm in the shower or bathroom. It would be a pretty hard thing for someone to do.

[I.Dup.]

Haven't read the other replies, but no way! I don't even give my older kids soda, except maybe Sprite VERY occasionally. Like once a year. One of dd's favorite memories from when I took her to Disney for her 10th birthday was she got Sprite there. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would try not to get too upset, and just keep the baby away from whoever did that.

[mommaduck]

Haven't read the other replies, but no way! I don't even give my older kids soda, except maybe Sprite VERY occasionally. Like once a year. One of dd's favorite memories from when I took her to Disney for her 10th birthday was she got Sprite there. :tongue_smilie:

 

I would try not to get too upset, and just keep the baby away from whoever did that.

You might want to read the rest. It's the father of the child.

[happypamama]

I certainly don't agree with giving soda to a baby, but one of the above posts made my think of how my generation was brought up with "formula" made with canned milk and corn syrup.

 

This is one of the reasons that feeding infants is such a hot button with me. My mom says she was fed with the above mix, and she feels that it really set her up for a lifelong addiction to sweet foods, weight issues, etc. Yes, breastmilk is very sweet, but her experience (and my FIL's experience with huge allergy problems) is what has made me so careful about my own babies. You don't interrupt the sterile gut with sugar at my house. :)

[justamouse]

No, it isn't in this case.

In this case, the person isn't just some person, it is the FATHER.

He has every right to give his child pop if he wants. He not only does not need her permission, he does not need to obey her like some babysitter or extended relative.

 

I am adament that I don't agree with it. I don't even like buying juice. And my 1 year old has only ever had breastmilk or water to drink.

 

But if I made a baby with a man that I have no future with and no mutual understanding with, then this is the price I pay: I will have to raise a child with a man that doesn't care about my parental opinion when making his own parental decisions. It sucks. No doubt about that. But it doesn't give me the right to refuse to let him be a father to his child.

I would try to be as non confrontational as possible and simply pose why I have my stance.

 

It is highly addictive.

It replaces healthy option. (They are only going to consume so many calories on any given day, pop calories displace healthy calories.)

Possibly future health issues.

Possibly behavioral issues.

 

And I would make suggestions as to what could be used instead. I'm don't even like giving juice, but compared to pop, I'd give watered down juice. I'd also be sure to pack healthy snack treats, so the kid isn't fed hoho and twinkies all day.

 

But really if dad thinks she is being a controlling harridan, he may ignore all that anyways.

 

See, that's the sticking point, you're absolutely right.

[Plucky]

:iagree:Totally. If this is the baby's father giving the junk food (soda may not be the only thing the baby is getting.) then oh, well. It is his kid too. He has just as much right to give it as the mother does to withhold it.

 

He needs educating not vilifying.

 

:iagree:

 

Even when you are married to the father (for 21+ yrs mind you) you will have parenting differences and disagreements. I've had to bend a bit in a few areas. Was it the right choice? I don't know, but they are his kids, too. My womb didn't give me the final say, although some days I wish it did.

[cin]

But if I made a baby with a man that I have no future with and no mutual understanding with, then this is the price I pay: I will have to raise a child with a man that doesn't care about my parental opinion when making his own parental decisions. It sucks. No doubt about that. But it doesn't give me the right to refuse to let him be a father to his child.

 

Martha, this is a good point, and if there is joint custody, then the judge, or whoever, has determined that the father is not 'Bad" for the child. Mom may very well do things that dad thinks is nuts.

 

Given the facts that are slowly coming to life about the parents' relationship, I would say let it go. Children need both parents in their lives. When you have the child, parent your way. Load the child up with healthy foods. And unless it is a true safety issue, let dad parent the way he chooses. In addition to needing both parents, they need minimal conflict between those parents.

[Murphy101]

Martha, this is a good point, and if there is joint custody, then the judge, or whoever, has determined that the father is not 'Bad" for the child. Mom may very well do things that dad thinks is nuts.

 

Given the facts that are slowly coming to life about the parents' relationship, I would say let it go. Children need both parents in their lives. When you have the child, parent your way. Load the child up with healthy foods. And unless it is a true safety issue, let dad parent the way he chooses. In addition to needing both parents, they need minimal conflict between those parents.

 

:iagree: and tbh, I rather feel that way when married too. Thankfully, my dh respects my opinions even when he doesn't whole heartedly agree, so parental disagreements aren't much of an issue here. Dh drinks a couple 2 liters a day of Pepsi zero and diet mtn dew. My kids and I never ever touch the stuff. At first it was simply bc dh didnt feel it worth arguing with his wife about it. Over time, he came to agree. The one time my in laws gave them pop, dh told them to stop it. And that was mostly bc they told the kids that mom and dad didn't need to know. :glare: We would have been annoyed, but not angry if they hadn't implied it's okay to keep secrets/lie to us. The kids don't even drink the stuff. They are like me and can't process the bubbles.:tongue_smilie:

[Dealea86]

This is one of the reasons that feeding infants is such a hot button with me. My mom says she was fed with the above mix, and she feels that it really set her up for a lifelong addiction to sweet foods, weight issues, etc. Yes, breastmilk is very sweet, but her experience (and my FIL's experience with huge allergy problems) is what has made me so careful about my own babies. You don't interrupt the sterile gut with sugar at my house. :)

 

:iagree:

 

My in-laws were born and raised in another country, which was basically a third-world country at the time. They were both breastfed, though my FIL did have to be raised on goat's milk for a time after his mother's milk supply tanked during pregnancy. My parents, otoh, were raised on 1950s style formula. There is such a stark difference in health between my parents and my in-laws, and even a difference in health between my MIL and FIL. MIL, who got the most breastmilk, is by far the healthiest of our parents.

[Julie in CA]

I guess it is beyond my understanding that a reasonable person would ignore the facts, especially in something relating to the health of their young child.

Did you feed your 5-6 year old all of the superfoods today? No? How could you ignore the facts of how good those are for the health of your young child, and how you are depriving them of necessary nutrients? :001_huh:

 

That is how someone could ignore the facts in something relating to the health of their young child. :tongue_smilie:

 

It's all relative, and your personal standard isn't necessarily the one that everyone has to follow, just as my personal standard isn't the one you need to follow.

[Kissy]

I don't allow my kids to have soda until they are older and then only every once in a while. It rots your teeth, it is empty calories. It is full of sodium which is harmful to kidneys. It has no nutritional value what so ever and no redeeming qualities. It is very harmful.

 

I do not let my MIL watch my kids until they know to say no because of her giving soda at too young of an age. I have had to get on them for trying before and they still tried after that. No one should undermine a parent.

[Soror]

Yes, we all have to live by our own standards and are responsible for our own decisions.

[Parrothead]

I would and have educated dh about various things. I guess it is beyond my understanding that a reasonable person would ignore the facts, especially in something relating to the health of their young child. Dh defers to me on most matters of babies, well pretty much all matters on babies until we get to the toddler/discipline stage. As he would say I've researched and studied and he hasn't and doesn't care to because he trusts me in such matters. Small babies are always with me as well, pretty much until 18 months or so unless I'm in the shower or bathroom. It would be a pretty hard thing for someone to do.

Well, that is all well and good for an intact family. But if these parents are living in separate households then the dad has a right to a day or two without mom hovering. If you had your children in similar circumstances you would not to be able to keep them with you exclusively for the first 18 months.

 

And while you educated your dh about the needs of babies, it doesn't sound as if the mom in question has.

[Soror]

Well, that is all well and good for an intact family. But if these parents are living in separate households then the dad has a right to a day or two without mom hovering. If you had your children in similar circumstances you would not to be able to keep them with you exclusively for the first 18 months.

 

And while you educated your dh about the needs of babies, it doesn't sound as if the mom in question has.

 

Yes, I am blessed. As Martha said in such situation the mom has to deal with the consequences of her choice. Especially when you are living separately you have less input over the life of your child.

Edited July 11, 2012 by soror

[Julie in CA]

DD is thinking about things tonight and trying to figure out how to handle the situation. My heart breaks for her because this episode made her realize for the first time that no matter what she says or requests she really has no control over what he does when he has the baby.

 

I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. It is heartbreaking.

I'm so sorry. I know that's a hard realization for your dd to come to terms with, and it's sooo hard to watch our dc suffering, so :grouphug::grouphug: to you too.

[Mommy22alyns]

That's a no-brainer to me. :glare:

[fairfarmhand]

:iagree:

 

My in-laws were born and raised in another country, which was basically a third-world country at the time. They were both breastfed, though my FIL did have to be raised on goat's milk for a time after his mother's milk supply tanked during pregnancy. My parents, otoh, were raised on 1950s style formula. There is such a stark difference in health between my parents and my in-laws, and even a difference in health between my MIL and FIL. MIL, who got the most breastmilk, is by far the healthiest of our parents.

this is ironic. My dh was fed the Carnation milk+corn syrup and can take or leave sweets. I was breastfed and crave them still.

 

Dh says that the reason is this: the rule was, unless you eat all your supper, including MIL's bacon-grease coated overcooked green beans, you got no dessert. The veggies were gross to him so he never ate dessert. He says that is probably why he doesn't have a thing for sweets even now.

 

Me? My family had a much more junk food, processed food diet. Although we didn't consume massive amounts of soda, we did eat chips, Hamburger helper, cream of... etc.

[jillian]

They wouldn't be spending unsupervised time with my child.

Eta: only read first post

[vonfirmath]

this is ironic. My dh was fed the Carnation milk+corn syrup and can take or leave sweets. I was breastfed and crave them still.

 

I was thinking the same thing.

My formula fed husband doesn't really care for sweets.

Breastfed me is addicted.

[melmichigan]

My heart breaks for her because this episode made her realize for the first time that no matter what she says or requests she really has no control over what he does when he has the baby.

 

I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. It is heartbreaking.

 

Maybe he needs educated in a kind nonjudgemental way, if that is possible. My DH used to give DC a sip of his icee from the end of the straw once in a blue moon, that wasn't the end of the world, an everyday thing would be a problem. I would want more information.

Edited July 11, 2012 by melmichigan

[eloquacious]

Juice and water is harmful enough, let alone juice with soda. ICK. Who is this person, and how can they prevent him/her from seeing the baby unsupervised?!

[Parrothead]

Juice and water is harmful enough, let alone juice with soda. ICK. Who is this person, and how can they prevent him/her from seeing the baby unsupervised?!

It is the baby's father so he can't be prevented from seeing the baby unsupervised.

[MilkMaid]

Pardon my french: H E double hockey sticks NO!!! I would throw an absolute fit! I don't even give my 14 month old juice. He drinks breastmilk and water. And if I didn't breastfeed, it would be regular milk and water. That is a huge risk for diabetes. I got off the soda habit about six months ago because all the sugar that is in it. I occasionally will have a soda, but not frequently. Some people are just plain idiots!!!! Hello...diabetes anyone?

 

 

:iagree: