What was it like, going from 3 to 4 kids?

[Marie131]

I'm currently expecting #4 but not really all that concerned about balancing another little person into our mix. However, lately I've been reading many stories about how mothers were fine w/ 2, 3 or whatever number of kids and then wham the last one sent them over the edge. Yikes! So I am wondering if perhaps I should be a little more concientious about how this new person will fit into our family. Was adding a 4th a big adjustment?

[mama2cntrykids]

It was for me b/c I hadn't had a baby for five years. It was also more difficult b/c the older kids had activities to get to last summer and they missed out on some stuff b/c I just couldn't get them there.

 

It's gotten a lot better now since the baby is 12 months old. It's just that first year that's killer!

[Peplophoros]

It was more of an adjustment that #3 for sure, but that's probably also because #3 was a great sleeper and #4 didn't start taking naps (AT ALL!!) until 4.5 months. His not napping definitely put me over the edge, but we're doing much better now that the newborn stage is over. My biggest thing is that now I can't go anywhere. With 3, I could go to the store if I absolutely had to, but with 4 I feel like I'm bringing a crowd--too many bodies to keep track of. So long story short, we spend more time at home than we used to, and I have to be much more creative about running errands (I use more sitters than I used to). That said, I love having 4--it really does feel like crowd of happy kids.:party:

[Year Round Mom]

It might be different for you because your youngest is a toddler and needs lots of help still, but adding my fourth 3 months ago wasn't so bad! My youngest, however, is 4, so all my kids can go potty by themselves, get dressed, get their shoes on and make their own toast. That has made the fourth so easy to add! It was tough adding the third because my other two were still young and needed help a lot. When I was pregnant with my fourth, I taught my kids how to use the microwave, get water to drink, and pick up their messes. DH taught them how to sweep the floor :) Maybe take this time teach your DC life skills and how to help the toddler, if they're responsible enough. That way when you're busy with the baby and someone is dying of thirst, he/she can get it him/herself!

 

Also, we took a month off homeschooling (we were almost done anyways) when Baby was born, so I could focus on establishing a new routine. We eased back into school by doing only one or two subjects. We're still doing school-lite though I'm preparing for next year!

 

HTH!

[WeeBeaks]

I had spacing similar to what you show in your signature, and adding #4 wasn't much of a change at all. Going from 2 to 3 was hard for us but not 3 to 4.

[Paige]

My fourth was my easiest child by far. My kids were 5 and 3 when we added the 4th. The 3yr olds were twins. I'm not sure if the 4th was so easy because I had twins before her- and 1 baby is more than twice as easy as 2!- or because we were just more relaxed and competent parents, or if she is just an overall easier child.

[Year Round Mom]

Read the other two posts :)

 

We didn't do many activities before Baby and we're not doing many right now, either. It is hard to get out to do errands, though, I agree! What I do now that I have four is use a carrier (mei tai, ring sling, wrap). It makes taking four kids somewhere so much easier! No stroller to manuever (how do you spell that word?) through narrow aisles, two free hands to hold on to when walking in parking lots, etc. Very worthwhile!!!

 

So, if you don't spend too much time on WTM "doing research" and if you have extra money lying around not earmarked for anything in particular, I encourage you to check out thebabywearer.com!

 

:tongue_smilie:

[EmmaNZ]

My 4th was my hardest, but not because of him being 4th. It was because he was/is 'intense'. It's just his personality. If he had been my first I really would have struggled with him, but experience made things much easier and I had a lot more patience. I just carried on as normal, just one-handed with a baby over my other shoulder! He has settled down (a bit) and I'm now expecting number 5, so it can't have been that bad. (My others were 6, 4, 2 when he arrived)

[lllll]

....

[MyLittleWonders]

My fourth has been the easiest. It was hardest for us going from 2 to 3, but they were very close in age and #3 was a very intense baby. Dd has been a breeze in comparison; I also think it helps that though there is just slightly less than 5 years between #1 and #3, there is 4 1/2 years between #3 and #4. I had many "big boy" helpers with dd, whereas I had little ones that still needed a lot of my attention when ds#3 was born.

[Marie131]

So, if you don't spend too much time on WTM "doing research" and if you have extra money lying around not earmarked for anything in particular, I encourage you to check out thebabywearer.com!

 

 

Lol, I used to own a babywearing business and have hung on to all my "demos", so I am more then well prepared in that area :) Which could be why I wasn't all that concerned about adding in a 4th to begin with. Maybe I should stop googling :tongue_smilie:

[Trish]

Speaking for my parents, a box of a dozen doughnuts divides equally. My mother always said going from one to two children was a much bigger shock than any subsequent children.

[sillymommy]

Baby #4 was easy for us. She's an easy baby, though. Good sleeper, easy to nurse, etc. she just goes with the flow. I joke that she inherently knew she had to be easy because she's the fourth. :D

[Canadianmumof5]

Adding #4 was not too bad.....especially since we started homeschooling 5 months later :D

 

The first year was great - it is this second year that is killing me! DS2 is ALL.OVER.THE.PLACE. Oh my, I can't believe we got anything done with him around.

 

I am hoping & praying that #5 doesn't push me over the edge :willy_nilly:

[UnsinkableKristen]

Speaking for my parents, a box of a dozen doughnuts divides equally. My mother always said going from one to two children was a much bigger shock than any subsequent children.

 

:iagree: This exactly!

 

Going from 1 to 2 was very difficult for me, going from 2 to 3 was a breeze, and 3 to 4 was somewhere in between. I do love having 4, though. It is a very pleasant cacophony. :D

 

I also found that I preferred to keep #4 in a stroller over wearing him because 1) he HATED being in any carrier and 2) a stroller gave the other kids something to hold onto and something for me to put all the other odds and ins into so I didn't get weighted down carrying the diaper bag, all the water bottles, the coats AND the baby :).

[GSOchristie]

I only have three (and am fully confident that I could not handle four), but one of my friends who just had her fourth posted this quote on fb the other day. " what is it like to have four kids? Imagine you are drowning and somebody hands you a baby.". :001_smile: I know that one to two was way harder for me than two to three.

[Marie131]

I only have three (and am fully confident that I could not handle four), but one of my friends who just had her fourth posted this quote on fb the other day. " what is it like to have four kids? Imagine you are drowning and somebody hands you a baby.". :001_smile: I know that one to two was way harder for me than two to three.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[KrissiK]

I went from 3 to 5. It didn't send me over the edge. However, what made it difficult was that #3 was 5 years old when we got the little girls. And I was used to not having to help the older kids as much - carseats, bathing, potty, etc. And the first time we left with the little girls I'm in the car backing up and I'm like, "Oh crud! I forgot the diaper bag!" I'd forgotten I needed a diaper bag. That was the biggest adjustment for me!

[staceyobu]

Go look up "Jim Gaffigan: Mr. Universe" on instant play netflix if you have it. He does a comedy routine about having their fourth kid. DH and I were falling over laughing.

 

I had my fourth a month ago and it has been way better than I expected. He's a pretty good sleeper, so that has helped a lot. And, we aren't starting school back until fall, so that has made our days waayyyy easier.

 

I think 2-3 was a rough adjustment for us. This was just adding one more to the crowd.

[higginszoo]

#4 wasn't too bad for us.

 

She's definitely our most demanding and intense, but the first 3 all came in a 30 month span, then she was 4 years after, so they were 4, 5 and 6 and able to do for themselves/help quite a bit. The most difficult part was I had 3 in diapers, then two then one, then one for a year, then had to start back with all of the baby stuff again.

[HomeschoolingHearts&Minds]

#4 seemed easy to me as a baby, but #3 had special (and unusual) medical needs, so youngest is a bit ordinary in comparison.

 

But, as a 3-year-old adventurer, she turns my hair white daily, which has definitely shaken things up. :w00t:

[Chelli]

I've had more than one friend tell me that adding #3 is harder because for the first time you are outnumbered. After you adjust to that hurdle adding more children is a breeze!

 

I've not worked up my nerve to see if this is true yet! :tongue_smilie:

[Sara in AZ]

I think if you have a two or younger adding any number baby is going to be hard. Double that if the two or younger is still nursing. Maybe subtract a few hardness points if your oldest is at least eight. Add in a bunch more if your husband is simultaneously caring for his sick and aging parents. I guess it's all relative.

[happypamama]

Actually, despite the gap between #3 and #4 being the smallest (2y8.5m), it's been a very easy transition to having four. In many ways, it's been easier than going from two to three, and that's probably because my older two are actually able to be helpful. I'm pretty laid-back about babies, not much of a scheduler, so I have honestly felt the transition with each new baby to be fairly easy (more laundry, more carseat buckles, sure, but no big deal). I'd say going to two was probably the most difficult, though still pretty easy, and I think that was mostly because at the time, #1 was a busy 3yo but still needed me to do a lot for her, and I needed to be careful not to ignore her while cooing over the baby. She also couldn't help much with the baby, and she didn't nap, which made it hard for me to do so.

 

By the time we had #3, #1 was able to cook simple meals, get a drink for herself or #2, etc., and she and #1 had each other for companionship. Plus, she could hold the baby for short periods of time (like when I was showering). When #4 came along, the big kids were 9, 6, and almost 3; the older two can take turns holding the baby, can get the little guys buckled/unbuckled in the car, pack lunch, etc. They are capable enough to be truly helpful. They are also able to play together nicely if I need a nap.

 

My DS2 adores the baby. I was a little concerned that he'd be jealous, but man, he stepped right into his big brother role like he'd been born for it. It really has been much easier than I expected. The hardest thing is that sometimes it's just too noisy, too many people all wanting me at once; that is hard for a serious introvert like me. I do get more organized with each child I add, mainly because if I wasn't, I'd accomplish nothing. :)

[mamakim]

I've had more than one friend tell me that adding #3 is harder because for the first time you are outnumbered. After you adjust to that hurdle adding more children is a breeze!

 

I've not worked up my nerve to see if this is true yet! :tongue_smilie:

 

This was our experience. Going to #3 was one of the hardest transitions, going to #4 was one of the easiest. Which is actually a strange thing since child #4 was VERY challenging when a wee one. A delight now, but man was she a difficult baby/toddler.

[Tress]

I found it a very easy transition. Our first was very difficult, very intense. Going from one to two was fine (with my husband working long days, that was *my* being outnumbered stage :001_smile:), from two to three quiet easy and from three to four even easier.

 

That is not to say that everything is easy. The past 8 years have been very hard, I can't handle lack of sleep....and my kids are very, VERY bad sleepers. They eat everything, potty train themselves, are generally easy kids...but they.don't.sleep :glare:.

[funschooler5]

I went from 3 to 5. It didn't send me over the edge. However, what made it difficult was that #3 was 5 years old when we got the little girls. And I was used to not having to help the older kids as much - carseats, bathing, potty, etc. And the first time we left with the little girls I'm in the car backing up and I'm like, "Oh crud! I forgot the diaper bag!" I'd forgotten I needed a diaper bag. That was the biggest adjustment for me!

 

:iagree:

 

This is totally me. My 3rd is 6yrs, so I'm still getting used to bringing a diaper bag around!

 

Our transitions haven't been too bad because of the big age gaps between #2 and #3 and #3 and #4. My main problem since our fourth was born is having little panic attacks here and there when I'm out and about with only 2 or 3 kids: "Where's DD1? Oh, at her friend's house...what time do I pick her up again? Did DS come with me to Walmart? Yes, he's looking at the video games," etc.

 

One thing is for sure...#4 is in the baby sling whenever we are outside of the car, so I always know where she is! :lol:

[Janie Grace]

Adding #3 was hard b/c my first two were still so little. Adding #5 was hard b/c he was demanding and my homeschool load was significant. Adding #4 was a breeze! :)

[Soror]

I'm all ears, as #4 is due in Nov. #1 was brutal, very high needs, ppd, etc, #2 was a breeze- although pp was not perfect, #3 went great as well. I'm afraid that I'm due for some hardship.

[edeemarie]

I agree that going from 2 to 3 was more challenging than 3 to 4. It had nothing to do with the actual baby, just than you really have to learn how to juggle multiple tasks at one time! With my 4th, the oldest 2 were very helpful with doing things like playing with my 3rd while I nursed/rested.

[Wren5]

My fourth was not a big deal either, it seems almost everyone I talked with back then agreed 2 to 3 was hard, after that it's "the more the merrier :-)".

[Mommyfaithe]

Going from 2 to 3 nearly killed me. Going from 3 to 4 was so much fun!!! My oldest was finally old enough to enjoy a new baby....all the other kids wanted to hold him, play with him, bring me diapers and wipes...and as he got older play with him, teach him to read, etc.

 

# 4 is still everyones favorite sibling and he is 18 now:D.

[Year Round Mom]

Lol, I used to own a babywearing business and have hung on to all my "demos", so I am more then well prepared in that area :) Which could be why I wasn't all that concerned about adding in a 4th to begin with. Maybe I should stop googling :tongue_smilie:

 

That's great! One less thing to worry about! :D

[Stellalarella]

Four little kids shopping: 1 beside the cart, 1 in the cart, 1 in the seat of the cart, and 1 in a baby sling.

 

Having to buy a van since a buick only seats three in the back--that was number 4.

 

Having to make the seven year old bunk up with baby brother--that was number 4.

 

Being really sick for 4 months after baby 4 and not knowing why--now THAT was baby number 5. SO, you know, you might want to keep track of things.....

[LMV]

This is an interesting thread. My current pregnancy will actually take us from five to six but four years earlier our oldest daughter was really essentially an only child as her big brother was a college student with his own place and our younger daughter had passed away years before. Then I got pregnant with our third daughter [who is now two] and our foster daughter [who we are working on adopting] came into our lives. So when our youngest daughter is born we will have added three children in less than three years. If someone else asked if this was a good idea I'd probably suggest it might not be but it's just the way things have worked for us. Fortunately my husband is a very involved dad so I'm not doing this alone. I also think that working through our past struggles has brought us to a place where we communicate very well and are very good at supporting each other.

[Carrie12345]

4 was my easiest addition, by far. #3 was the toughest for me. 5 was somewhere in the middle, but I think that was mostly due to his medical issues. Aside from those, he folded in pretty well!

[hollyh]

4th is easiest by far! Barely a change in life at all! Making me think I can have several more!:tongue_smilie:

[jennsmile]

For me it was easy. However several factors played into that. My next oldest was 3 1/2 and very much not a baby usually my guys are 2 1/2 or so when they give up being the baby of the family. So it helped that he was very independent and just loves being the big brother, lots of kisses and loves for his baby. Coupled with the fact my baby is really laid back easy going and happy all the time, it has been a very easy transition.

 

I did prepare ahead of time with lots of paper plates, bowls cups ect to make recovery easier. And I really stayed in bed for almost 2 weeks loving on the little guy, while my kids watched way to much nextflix. But then I was feeling much better. This was also the first time I wasn't anemic because I finally found a Perfect Prenatal vitamins that my body absorbed.

 

Good luck and congrats on the new addition!

[Miss Marple]

Number 3 was the hardest adjustment. We went from each of us handling 1 child to having this "extra" along with 2 other young ones. Adding #4 was just throwing a bit more chaos into the mix :)

[wintermom]

Adding in #4 was one of the toughest for me. He had some medical issues at the very beginning, he is really high energy and intense, and he was a wild toddler. Homeschooling was a major challenge when he was 1.5 - 2.5 years. Luckily the older dc was still pretty young, so I didn't stress too much about the minimal homeschooling that was getting done. Things got so much easier when he turned.

 

I love having 4 children, though, and am so fortunate with all our children. I'd have more, God willing.

[Heather in WI]

It was for me b/c I hadn't had a baby for five years. It was also more difficult b/c the older kids had activities to get to last summer and they missed out on some stuff b/c I just couldn't get them there.

 

This was exactly our situation having, at the time, a 10, 8, and 5 year old.

 

The pregnancy was a bit more difficult due to me being older. I had a few issues (like gestational diabetes) that had not come up in any other pregnancies.

 

As a baby, he was the easiest. Slept through the night very early, nursed well, etc.

 

He is the only baby where I had mild postpartum depression. The first year was absolutely overwhelming for me. I had always been in control and on top of things, even with my other babies, and for awhile I felt everything was spinning out of control. Looking back, I didn't realize I was postpartum until about six months after I stopped nursing (stopped at one year) and the haze started lifting. In hindsight, I wish I known what I was experiencing so I could've reached out for help.

 

Now baby is 25 months and life is good!

[Lab1]

#4 was my easiest baby. He slept! No medical issues and easy temperment. What was hard is his active 16 month old brother who loved to run from me. Toddlers exhaust me! #4 was a breeze until he was moble and its been downhill from there! He's getting easier, but we aren't there yet.

[Woodhaven]

I hardly noticed it. It was MUCH more difficult going from two to three!