WWYD? Neighbor adding his garbage to ours for pick-up?

[Tenaj]

In our area, garbage removal is not a city-service. Each household is reponsible to hire a company for that service. We've run into a situation that I'm not sure how to handle.

 

About a month ago, after making an airport run for my dh early in the morning, I discovered that our neighbor, who works third shift, had added a big black garbage bag to our garbage cans by the road for pick-up. We don't use the big black bags, that's why it was so obvious.

 

Since, I've been checking in the morning on trash day and sure enough, every week he has added a bag to our trash.

 

On the one hand, one bag is no big deal and for our family size, we don't generate a lot of trash (I've seen neighbors putting out more than ours on a weekly basis). But, since everyone is responsible for their own trash it's definitely unethical (as least in my mind) to have two households using one trash account.

 

So would you just ignore it. This neighbor isn't a particularly bad neighbor. He feeds the wildlife (racoons and squirrels and possums) which is annoying but other than that we have a pretty quiet neighborhood.

 

I thought about putting the garbage at the end of HIS driveway after he goes in for the morning but I or dh probably should have a conversation with him about it first :)

[butterflymommy]

I would ask him in writing to stop putting his trash in my receptacle. If necessary I'd threaten to put a camera in front of my house to "catch" him. This is stealing! And a bit strange.

[itsheresomewhere]

How long has he lived there? Does he know he has to get his own trash service?

 

If this is a new thing for an old neighbor- is it possible that he can't afford to pay for service right now? If he is a good neighbor, I would over look a bag as long as it does not increase my garbage cost.

[lailasmum]

I think I would put the garbage bag back at the end of his drive and see if he gets the hint and if not have the conversation.

[Joanne]

It is illegal, and arrestable, I believe.

 

I'd have a talk with him.

[starwarsmomma]

I would put it back in their driveway.

Hubby said that is passive agressive and a quick way to cause retalitation back.

 

He said he'd "hang out" and wait for the neighbor to "drop by" the garbage, and mention that it costs money for that pickup, times are tough for everyone, inlcuding us, so how about we split the cost of the pickup? It costs $20 a month, so we'll split it and he can drop off his trash anytime that way.... kinda talk.

[Harriet Vane]

Definitely unethical on his part.

 

However, your post brought back vivid memories to me. When I was in high school, my family was desperately poor. None of the bills were being paid. For us it was a question of eat OR pay the bills.

 

The garbage collection bill wasn't getting paid at that time either, so my grandma used to put the trash in the trunk of her car and dump it in apartment building dumpsters. She was careful not to go to the same building too many times. I remember how ashamed we were of doing this, and how little recourse we had to do otherwise.

 

My point is that your neighbor may be struggling financially. It's equally possible that he's financially fine but doesn't want to pay when he generates so little trash. In your shoes, I would probably go talk to him about it, gently. Perhaps offer that if he is having a hard time paying his collection bill, he could weed your garden instead? Work out some sort of barter?

 

Or, if you just don't want to deal with his trash, set a boundary sweetly. You could even act as though it is somehow an honest mistake on his part.

[BigMamaBird]

I would put it back in their driveway.

Hubby said that is passive agressive and a quick way to cause retalitation back.

 

He said he'd "hang out" and wait for the neighbor to "drop by" the garbage, and mention that it costs money for that pickup, times are tough for everyone, inlcuding us, so how about we split the cost of the pickup? It costs $20 a month, so we'll split it and he can drop off his trash anytime that way.... kinda talk.

 

I think this is a good idea.

[3browneyedboys4me]

Well, I could go either way. I can see on one hand that one bag of trash is no big deal and let it go. But, it also would bother me that he is being sneeky about it. If he is only using one bag of garbage, he is probably thinking it would be a waste to pay for pick up. But, if that IS the case, he should offer to pay a small portion of yours. The sneeky, not asking factor, is what bothers me.

 

If I decided to DO something, this is what I would do. I would take his garbage and put a note on it and leave it in his driveway. I would simply say in the note that if he wants to tag onto your garbage pick up, you would be happy for him to pay____ and leave one bag for pick up. Otherwise, he needs to make other arrangements for his garbage. I would be nice and direct with him.

[Kathryn]

I would put it back in their driveway.

Hubby said that is passive agressive and a quick way to cause retalitation back.

 

He said he'd "hang out" and wait for the neighbor to "drop by" the garbage, and mention that it costs money for that pickup, times are tough for everyone, inlcuding us, so how about we split the cost of the pickup? It costs $20 a month, so we'll split it and he can drop off his trash anytime that way.... kinda talk.

 

I agree with both of these. I'd be upset and tempted to just put it back in his yard, or too timid to do anything. But I think the best solution is this husband's idea.

[Tenaj]

He's not a new neighbor, probably been here for at least 5-6 years. Monetary issues - I'm not sure about. They never seem to have money for the things they need (ie refrigerator breaks and they didn't replace it), but on the other other hand he owns a huge and expensive diesel pickup which is his pride and joy so it's hard to tell. The place where he works is a highly respected and very sought-out place of employment and his wife works full-time also so I don't think they are poverty stricken.

 

I know that they have never had trash pickup at their house (mr. lives there full-time, wife lives there only on the weekends because she is caring for her mother). We used to see him throw his trash in the back of his pickup and he would take it to work and dump it in their dumpster. I'm guessing that he got caught doing that and has changed to using our trash.

 

I think he does have trouble with some ethical issues. We have a farmer's field behind our house and my oldest caught him out there right before harvest season filling up a huge trash can with field corn to feed the squirrels and birds. I'm a farmer's daughter so this really rubbed me the wrong way and we think he was embarrassed about it because he was pretty scarce for a while.

 

My dh is trying to decide what to do without alienating him completely. We've already made it clear that we're very annoyed about him feeding the raccoons and other animals in the neighborhood. Hate for one bag of trash a week to be the break in a relationship.

[QueenCat]

It is illegal, and arrestable, I believe.

 

I'd have a talk with him.

 

In our area, if the garbage collection company catches you, they charge both parties for theft of services. You would have to be able to prove you didn't know as the customer that the other person wasn't using your receptacle to not be held liable as party to theft.

[Miss Peregrine]

Can you wait to put your trash out? That would probably only work if you have a consistent pick up time.

[BMW]

Does the neighbor pay for his own trash service as well? If he has his own cans, but it running over by a bag and ASKS if he can add one to yours, then I find no problem with it. He obviously hasn't asked, though...

 

We do this all the time with our neighbors... we all pay similar amounts for the same service and there are times each of us does extra yard work over a weekend and needs extra space and we share with each other. But, it is mutually discussed and reciprocated.

 

**Oh, I see he doesn't pay at all. Not cool, particularly without any discussion.

[love2read]

if the garbage collection company catches you, they charge both parties for theft of services.

I would tell him that you were concerned about this happening and just leave it at that. He'll stop doing it once he knows you're aware of the situation. I wouldn't split the fee with him unless you had the permission of the pick-up company.

[Cera]

I would talk to him and tell him ou are worried about the repercussions if you are caught and need him to stop.

[Candid]

I would tell him that you were concerned about this happening and just leave it at that. He'll stop doing it once he knows you're aware of the situation. I wouldn't split the fee with him unless you had the permission of the pick-up company.

 

:iagree:

 

You might consider calling the company and talking with them about what should be done. Suppose you worked all day, you couldn't police this, could you?

 

If you have a contract, start by looking that over. If it says the service is only for one household, I'd go with the hubby catch him talk with contract in hand to show him that you are legally obligated not to allow this.

[Lizzie in Ma]

How long has he lived there? Does he know he has to get his own trash service?

 

If this is a new thing for an old neighbor- is it possible that he can't afford to pay for service right now? If he is a good neighbor, I would over look a bag as long as it does not increase my garbage cost.

 

Or ask him if he was unaware of it and would he like to share the expense?

[besroma]

I think I would put the garbage bag back at the end of his drive and see if he gets the hint and if not have the conversation.

 

:iagree:

[Ferdie]

My neighbor used to put her garbage in our can each week. Not a big deal. She grew up in the recession and recycled, reused and composed everything. They only had one bag of trash per week so it didn't make sense for them to have a garbage truck come pick up the one bag. She was upfront about it though and asked if it was okay.

 

I think you should work out a deal with your neighbor. Think of the gas the trash truck will use to come and pick up his one bag of trash. Not good for environment.

Edited May 24, 2012 by Ferdie

[Trish]

I get the ethics of this. (wrong) And that he should be paying for his own, or offering to pay a bit of yours. But. I'm also looking at this from a practical standpoint. Bad neighbors are a HORRIBLE thing to live with. Neighbor Wars are very unpleasant.

 

The way I see it, right now, you don't have a problem. You aren't paying extra for trash. If you confront the neighbor about this, you may develop a problem. Angry Neighbor. Uncooperative Neighbor. Passive Aggressive Neighbor. Or, even just Not Particularly Inclined To Do You Any Favors Neighbor.

 

I might be more inclined to do something if, say, the amount of garbage went up to more than one bag. Of if he started being un-neighborly in some other way. (Think: he needs to remain on good behavior because he is somewhat beholden to you.)

 

You may need something from him someday. And if his strongest memory is 'well they sure weren't helpful in that garbage situation...'

 

If you have experience with bad neighbors and feel comfortable with the risks, by all means, handle this how you see fit. If however you do not have experience with Bad Neighbors, you need to read a few stories, or ask a few people who have experienced bad neighbors, to fully understand what the ramifications could be.

 

Best of luck whatever you decide!

[Jen in PA]

You might consider calling the company and talking with them about what should be done.

 

We also have our garbage collected by a private company. We have a limit of 6 bags per household, anything over that is left behind or can be collected for an extra fee (which must be pre-arranged by calling the office before pick-up). We rarely have more than two bags per week, but a few times a year I do major cleaning projects and really do go to the maximum number of bags. If my neighbors were dropping off their garbage at my house I would end up with rotting trash (and raccoons!), or with a big bill. I would inform the company right away that someone is adding garbage to what you put out, and leave it to them to figure out who is doing it and what they will do about it.

[SailorMom]

I would just tell him that as long as it's only occasionally one bag, and you are never unable to dispose of your own garbage, that it's ok.

But - if he needs to use it more, then he might want to consider paying half or getting his own service.

I think this is a time to play the nice neighbor. Bad neighbors, bad relationships between neighbors, are sooooo much worse than sharing a garbage can.

[Tap]

I would wait for him on the next garbage pick up day. When he showed up and dropped it in, I would come out and say "dude, what are you doing???" When he answers I would just say "Please do not do that again, it is theft of services and I don't want to get a fine." I would then smile friendly, turn and walk away.

[Tenaj]

I get the ethics of this. (wrong) And that he should be paying for his own, or offering to pay a bit of yours. But. I'm also looking at this from a practical standpoint. Bad neighbors are a HORRIBLE thing to live with. Neighbor Wars are very unpleasant.

 

The way I see it, right now, you don't have a problem. You aren't paying extra for trash. If you confront the neighbor about this, you may develop a problem. Angry Neighbor. Uncooperative Neighbor. Passive Aggressive Neighbor. Or, even just Not Particularly Inclined To Do You Any Favors Neighbor.

 

I might be more inclined to do something if, say, the amount of garbage went up to more than one bag. Of if he started being un-neighborly in some other way. (Think: he needs to remain on good behavior because he is somewhat beholden to you.)

 

You may need something from him someday. And if his strongest memory is 'well they sure weren't helpful in that garbage situation...'

 

If you have experience with bad neighbors and feel comfortable with the risks, by all means, handle this how you see fit. If however you do not have experience with Bad Neighbors, you need to read a few stories, or ask a few people who have experienced bad neighbors, to fully understand what the ramifications could be.

 

Best of luck whatever you decide!

 

I've never experienced any neighbor situations like I've read about on the boards and I'd rather not so I'm leaning this direction also.

 

As I've been reading the thread, it suddenly hit me that he and wife have been bringing boxes of snacks over for my kids at least once a week for the past few weeks. Maybe that their way of sharing the cost of the garbage :) I hadn't connected it before but it started at about the same time as I started noticing the gabage issue. I think I'll point out that connection to my dh and see what he wants to do.

[Nart]

What if you don't put out your garbage until the last possible moment? It sounds like you put out the garbage the night before or early in the morning, so the neighbor has plenty of time to put his bag next to your trash. If you wait I don't think he would leave a trashbag in front of your house.

[Tenaj]

What if you don't put out your garbage until the last possible moment? It sounds like you put out the garbage the night before or early in the morning, so the neighbor has plenty of time to put his bag next to your trash. If you wait I don't think he would leave a trashbag in front of your house.

 

We don't wait (unless we forget) because sometimes the trash comes really early. Especially in the summer we've had them arrive as early as 5:30 or 6 to pick. It's not that early now - I get up at 6 and they came about 7:20 this morning.

 

I'm not sure it would matter because in order to make sure I don't miss the trash I would take it out at 6 when I got up and the neighbor arrives home a little after 6. This morning when I got up, I checked and his trash wasn't there, but when I look at about 6:30 it was there so he put it out when he arrived home from work.

 

If the trash pick-up changes in June to its normal summer schedule this whole thing will be a moot point because I know that neighbor man won't make it home in time if the trash goes to their early-early schedule.

[bookfiend]

What if you don't put out your garbage until the last possible moment? It sounds like you put out the garbage the night before or early in the morning, so the neighbor has plenty of time to put his bag next to your trash. If you wait I don't think he would leave a trashbag in front of your house.

 

Yes, and you could casually mention that you stopped putting your trash out overnight because it is attracting racoons and squirels. :D

 

Another story to log in the 2012 Crazy Neighbor Annals.

[Lisbeth]

What if you don't put out your garbage until the last possible moment? It sounds like you put out the garbage the night before or early in the morning, so the neighbor has plenty of time to put his bag next to your trash. If you wait I don't think he would leave a trashbag in front of your house.

 

This is what I'd do. I would wait until the last possible moment. Someone else's garbage could become a legal issue for you -

and have I mentioned that I really want a farm with no nearby neighbors? Neighbors are just getting crazier, and this board confirms it. Doesn't anyone have BOUNDARIES anymore? Ick.

[J-rap]

I would definitely talk to him. (Actually, I'd have your husband talk to him!) Tell him that you are uncomfortable about him putting his trash with yours, and that you would appreciate him not doing it anymore. I would give him a list of trash services he could call himself.

[angela in ohio]

This is how *I* see it (imho, etc.).... Everyone talks big about supporting small businesses, but this is where we put our money where our mouth is. There is someone trying to support a family with this business, counting on people to be ethical. What if every pair of houses did this? Now they are collecting the same trash for half the money. (I suppose eventually they could just raise their rates, but then the double-curbers are just hurting other customers instead of the company.)

 

I would have dh go over and talk to him nicely. Tell him that you have an ethical problem with it, because you gave your word to the company that you would only put out your own garbage, and this is causing you to lie/cheat, and you aren't comfortable wtih that. Offer to pay for his trash collection if necessary. I would rather pay for his than to "generously" offer free service on the company's dime.

[kolamum]

What if he's worked something out with the same company and so he puts his trash with yours for their ease? He probably doesn't, but...

 

My other concern would be if he does unethical things would he put stuff in his trash you wouldn't want sitting at the end of your drive, kwim?

 

All in all, a very weird thing to do. All though when my dh was a young bachelor & lived in the city he was only permitted one bag of trash per week. He forgot to put it out once week & had two bags. So he put one it's rightful spot & tossed the other in a neighbors bin. He figured no harm no foul. It was a once off thing, but I told him they might have felt differently about it. ;)

[StephanieZ]

I would pretend I did not know. If it is not hurting you, then I would ignore it. I would assume that he is broke and can't afford trash pick up, and it would be a kind gesture to just pretend I did not know.

 

If, somehow, some way, this becomes a problem for you (how?!?), then I guess I might have to deal with it, but I would try to avoid dealing with it.

 

People have rough patches. Some people are just odd. Some people are just cheap. You have no way of know which reason is leading to this behavior, but I would not worry myself over it.

 

Just let it go. Look the other way. It is an easy kindness.

 

Besides, if you confront him, you might have an angry or humiliated or offended or bitter neighbor. Not something I'd want to have. I'd rather look the other way.