Article: Homeschoolers Threaten Cultural Comfort

[Kathleen in VA]

Interesting article from a non-homeschooler's perspective.

 

http://www.djournal.com/pages/story.asp?ID=274594&pub=1&div=Opinion

[rockermom]

Interesting article from a non-homeschooler's perspective.

 

http://www.djournal.com/pages/story.asp?ID=274594&pub=1&div=Opinion

 

I enjoyed reading that. I found it interesting. Thank you.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think he has some insightful comments. I was kicked off a jury once because one of the attorney's thought that I was "anti-government" for homeschooling.

[Parrothead]

Ugggh.

 

I don't have words for how insulting that article is.

[rockermom]

Ugggh.

 

I don't have words for how insulting that article is.

 

I think uninformed is more appropriate.

[Plucky]

I agree. I vented earlier when someone else posted this article.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=319624#poststop

[Kathleen in VA]

I didn't realize it had already been posted here - I found it on a blog I subscribe to today. I found it very interesting because I think he is being self-depracating. I did not find it insulting but then I often miss things when I am reading.

 

He says, "Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles." I think he feels intimidated by homeschoolers and realizes that they have chosen a better lifestyle.

 

This part is also very telling: "Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity."

 

Maybe he has wrongly lumped all homeschoolers into one category, but I don't think he meant to be insulting at all.

 

What did I miss?

[sassenach]

I didn't realize it had already been posted here - I found it on a blog I subscribe to today. I found it very interesting because I think he is being self-depracating. I did not find it insulting but then I often miss things when I am reading.

 

He says, "Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles." I think he feels intimidated by homeschoolers and realizes that they have chosen a better lifestyle.

 

This part is also very telling: "Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity."

 

Maybe he has wrongly lumped all homeschoolers into one category, but I don't think he meant to be insulting at all.

 

What did I miss?

 

 

I agree. I'm always surprised when a homeschooler is insulted when they are misunderstood by the public at large. To me, homeschooling and being misunderstood go hand in hand. In the realm of articles written by an "outsider," this one was pretty tame. He shared some real insecurities and was not insulting at all. The truth is unless you've experienced the homeschooling world or at least invested a lot of time into learning about it, you're going to tend to stereotype. The long-hair, dress wearing, ala Duggar homeschooler is the stereotypical image. We're all just going to have to get used to it until it evolves. That might take awhile. Until then, I welcome articles like this one. Thanks for sharing.

[Kris]

The long-hair, dress wearing, ala Duggar homeschooler is the stereotypical image. We're all just going to have to get used to it until it evolves. That might take awhile.

 

Our circle is so small, and we've been homeschooling so long, I just assume everyone knows what we're doing. I get a lot of questions from people who say they are considering it, but are leery -- and understandably so. So when a lady at my son's Taekwondo class asked me if we were homeschooling the other day, I didn't think anything of it and started to settle in for a long chat. I couldn't think of anything to say when she said, "But your family seems so normal!" and walked away! :lol:

[elegantlion]

Interestingly the first paragraph made me realize he has a stereotypically (sp?) view of homeschoolers.

 

"It's a big family by today’s standards - "just like stair steps," as the old folks say. Freshly scrubbed boys with neatly trimmed hair and girls with braids, in clean but unfashionable clothes follow mom through the store as she fills her no-frills shopping list."

 

First of all, I have one child and freshly scrubbed would not describe him at most times. His clothes are not always clean, as in "I can't find any clean shorts". No mention of the 10 other pairs he doesn't like to wear. Until last week his hair was below his ears.

 

But then again we've never been normal in any circle.

 

 

[Plaid Dad]

I find the stereotypes a little puzzling since I don't know any homeschoolers in our area who fit them. Around here, homeschoolers are more likely to be left-leaning unschoolers and pagan or Buddhist, if they're religious at all. They are more likely to have dreads than crew cuts and to wear tie-dye than prairie dresses. (A standing joke in our house is "Brush your hair! You look like a homeschooler!" :D) Our local homeschoolers probably have slightly more than the average number of children, but I only know one homeschooling family that I would consider really large and they're in another state.

 

So although the stereotypes in the article left me scratching my head, I think his main point is well taken. I wonder what the response to the article was in his local area?

[Chris in VA]

If you see that serene woman, would you please point her out? :D

 

While I found this article to be full of stereotypes, I happen to think the stereotype fits some people, and often, those are the most "obvious" among us. I don't have any problem with it, either--in fact, I like long hair, feel ok in a denim jumper (just bought one for teaching preschool next year), and would prefer my kids exhibit the attitude and actions described in the article. I'd even like to have had a bigger family.

 

On the other hand, it is, indeed, a stereotype, and I've yet to really see a family like that, up close and personal. Most of the homeschool families I know have 3 or 4 kids, some of whom are pains in the neck (like most families!), and the moms tend to look harried, not peaceful. But that, too, is a stereotype of the "harried homeschooler" rushing to give her kids every experience she thinks they'd get if they were in public school (art lessons, music, gym, etc.).

 

We are all individuals, defying such narrow categorization.

Perhaps the author is trying to give a compliment--sure sounds like it to me.

[iquilt]

There will always been generalizations about homeschoolers, just as there are about two-income families with 2.2 kids in ps and 2 SUV's with a pool in the backyard. Overall I found the article uplifting to show homeschoolers have not opted-out but have opted-in to a certain lifestyle; family first.

[OhM]

He says, "Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles." I think he feels intimidated by homeschoolers and realizes that they have chosen a better lifestyle.

 

This part is also very telling: "Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity."

 

Maybe he has wrongly lumped all homeschoolers into one category, but I don't think he meant to be insulting at all.

 

What did I miss?

 

:iagree:

 

I read his description of the "typical" homeschooler as parodic - not of homeschoolers, but of how homeschoolers are viewed by the outside world (public-schooled world? not-familiar-with-homeschooling world?) I don't think he's trying to inform about homeschoolers as much as explore the "rest of the world's" animosity towards hs-ing.

 

We came out of ps to hs-ing when dd's were entering 1st & 5th grades. I wonder if that makes a difference as to how I read his viewpoint?

[74Heaven]

That article was written by someone who should not be writing about homeschooling. Obviously not researched at all - it would be like me writing an article after having some random thoughts on the "skateboarding culture" - something I know nothing about.

 

However, I do think the writer is right-on about how homeschoolers are "threatening" to the basic American (public schooling) cultural values. IOW, we are "judging" the system by not participating. For our families, we are saying there is a better alternative and many people find that annoying or insulting - that we find the public education system seriously lacking.

 

OTOH, there are thousands of former or potential homeschoolers who are remaking the govt schools into institutions they will put their children in - thru the various public-school funded Home-Link type programs where kids take classes 1-2 days at a school facility and do the rest of the school work at home.

 

Those programs wouldn't be my first choice, and I do think eventually these programs will reduce our homeschooling legal rights; but still, these parents are part of the government's recognition that there is a significant "market" of homeschoolers that they can sell some of their services to.

 

Thanks for posting the article. Tho many of us maybe "mainstream" in many ways, it was good to be reminded that our cultural "values" are not mainstream in many ways.

 

lisaj, mom to 5 (usually unbraided, def. not quiet) kids

[Jenny in Atl]

I think you have to look at where he lives, North MS. I gather most of the homeschoolers who standout in that area are going to be your stereotypical HS family. If he came over to Atl, he would see a much wider rainbow of HS families, that includes all types, shapes, sizes, and colors.

[Jacquelyn in NC]

In the article he writes, "Their implicit rejection of America’s most venerated idol, Materialism, (a.k.a. “Individualismâ€) spurs us to heat the furnace and feed the lions."

 

I don't think that be making my own choices and rejecting everything that the media says I "have" to have, that I am rejecting individualism. If anything, I think my children will be more individualistic than I was growing up. They are experiencing more freedom to be their own person and explore their interests than I ever did at their age.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I read this article right after I read about the Mike's as the official beverage of the WTM. Can you say crew cut, braids, modest dress and ... a Mike's? Let's see what the author has to say about that :O!

[TXMomof4]

Maybe I'm missing something, but while the article is very stereotypical, I don't find it insulting in the least. I am happy to render unto Caesar, but he may not have my child. I am willing to live with less in order to teach my children to value real knowledge rather than just getting through, and to teach them real values rather than the wishy-washy mess that they teach in school. I do feel our lives are more peaceful because of these choices, and I do know a LOT of people who envy that lack of a need to be everywhere, doing everything, with the best of everything.

 

I think he addressed the root of the problem there. We have chosen a different path and it seems like a judgement to those who haven't made the same choices.

[Tarheel Heather]

I read this article right after I read about the Mike's as the official beverage of the WTM. Can you say crew cut, braids, modest dress and ... a Mike's? Let's see what the author has to say about that :O!

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Brigitte]

In the article he writes, "Their implicit rejection of America’s most venerated idol, Materialism, (a.k.a. “Individualismâ€) spurs us to heat the furnace and feed the lions."

 

I don't think that was his point. I believe that me meant that the mainstream Americans equate "materialism" with "Individualism." He was poking fun at that equation, hence the quotation marks.

[Mama Lynx]

I didn't realize it had already been posted here - I found it on a blog I subscribe to today. I found it very interesting because I think he is being self-depracating. I did not find it insulting but then I often miss things when I am reading.

 

He says, "Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles." I think he feels intimidated by homeschoolers and realizes that they have chosen a better lifestyle.

 

This part is also very telling: "Deep down, however, we know that our generation has eaten its seed corn. We lack the discipline and the vision to deny ourselves in the hope of something enduring and worthy for our posterity."

 

Maybe he has wrongly lumped all homeschoolers into one category, but I don't think he meant to be insulting at all.

 

What did I miss?

 

You're not missing anything. I interpreted the article as being very much in favor of the choices homeschoolers make. He's right. That *is* why we threaten people. That *is* why I have to dance around public school folks the first time I meet them. (Okay, that's figuratively, not literally. I don't actually dance around them. That would be weird.)

 

We do threaten cultural comfort. I'm okay with that.

 

However, why didn't you people tell me that, as a homeschooler, my children therefore do not whine and beg for stuff in the store? I'm off to tell them - they CLEARLY missed that memo. :glare:

[Julie in CA]

I guess maybe it's because I'm very close to the stereotypical image, sans the denim jumper. I have 5 children (definitely sets me apart from my neighbors, right from the start), my boys wear their hair short, my girls love homemade dresses, they do follow me through the store (mostly without fighting, and with good manners, oh...and nice shoes:D), and I have been told many, many times that my facial expression is one of peace, except when I'm under *extreme* stress. I am homeschooling for pretty much the reasons he describes, and while I don't feel critical of those who send their kids to public school, I do completely reject the values that are taught there. Yep, by my throwback to a "Little House on the Dairy" lifestyle (get it, see my sig. line :D) I'm alternately considered either a completely naive hick, or an anti-government whack-o. That's ok with me.

I understand that people who don't fit in with the stereotype he describes may feel uncomfortable with being classified that way, but overall I think his tone towards homeschoolers was very positive.

[Laurie4b]

I didn't find the article insulting in the least; I read it as complimentary. It's purpose appeared to be to get people who do not homeschool and who have an knee-jerk negative reaction to homeschoolers as "weird" to think about the source of that reaction. He was basically challenging the "because they aren't like me, they're weird and I'm suspicious of them."

 

I thought his use of a particular family going through the grocery store was appropriate. He included things that might be seen as stereotyped, then drew attention to the positives: family togetherness, appropriate parenting, willingness to sacrifice for the sake of the children, willingness to stand against the tide of materialism that other parents give in to, and high academic achievement. I think the use of a somewhat stereotyped image combined with highlighting the positives of even the stereotype is an effective rhetorical device.

 

I think the guy is a friend of homeschooling, not an enemy. He appeared to me to be urging tolerance or even appreciation from those who make more mainstream choices. I say, "Three cheers for guys like him!"

[Twinmom]

Perhaps the author is trying to give a compliment--sure sounds like it to me.

 

I saw the stereotype (which I DON'T fit!), of course. However, overall I saw the article as a compliment. I don't know, maybe I'm weird, but I thought he was impressed with the way most homeschoolers try to put the needs of their children before their own and at the same time respect the govt. by paying school taxes w/o asking for much in return. Sounded like something I'd aspire to be!

[shalom22]

When I read this article, all I hear is the 'envy' that he has towards homeschoolers. He words say to me that he wishes that he had made the same kind of choices in his life. Most of us have chosen to do without a lot of materialistic stuff and instead we have invested in our children, something your average materialistic driven person can't or won't do.

 

I view this article as a complement, but it may not be perceived that way from someone on the outside. It would be easy to view it backwards if you are not familiar with the homeschool way of life.

[Kathleen in VA]

Just getting to the boards this morning and very glad to read all the replies (especially those that agree with me;)).

 

I see how the stereotype would be irritating, but I guess I just overlook stuff like that since I figure the guy has a limited exposure to homeschooling. I think his take on hsing is interesting *because* he has such a limited exposure to it and yet still has such a strong opinion. He seems to have quite a bit of knowledge about folks who reject hs'ers for no good reason other than the fact that hs'ers reject the status quo. I was glad he realized that most people's objections to hsing are related to their own lack of moral resolve and not because hs'ers are wrong.

 

We don't fit that stair-step, braided hair stereotype either (although I do have 5 children), but I know plenty of people who do - some of whom are my dear friends. I'm guessing the hs'ers who don't fit the mold are assumed to be ps'ers so get overlooked entirely.

 

In any case, I thought, in spite of his narrow perception of hs'ers, he did a good job of slapping the hands of those who reject hs'ers simply because they reject society's norms. If I were a ps'er this article would have made me feel *more* sympathetc to hs'ers, not less. I might even begin to question my own choices regarding my children.

[Soph the vet]

I didn't find the article insulting in the least; I read it as complimentary. It's purpose appeared to be to get people who do not homeschool and who have an knee-jerk negative reaction to homeschoolers as "weird" to think about the source of that reaction. He was basically challenging the "because they aren't like me, they're weird and I'm suspicious of them."

 

I thought his use of a particular family going through the grocery store was appropriate. He included things that might be seen as stereotyped, then drew attention to the positives: family togetherness, appropriate parenting, willingness to sacrifice for the sake of the children, willingness to stand against the tide of materialism that other parents give in to, and high academic achievement. I think the use of a somewhat stereotyped image combined with highlighting the positives of even the stereotype is an effective rhetorical device.

 

I think the guy is a friend of homeschooling, not an enemy. He appeared to me to be urging tolerance or even appreciation from those who make more mainstream choices. I say, "Three cheers for guys like him!"

:iagree:. I loved the phrase "without threats from mom" or however he put it. Obviously was not me he was observing:lol:! Every time we are about to go to Target or anywhere we have a mini-pow-wow in the minivan and I ask the dc "Who do you represent?" and the right answer is "God and homeschooling!"

[Tammyla]

:iagree: We don't fit that stereotype here and we often get shocked faces when asked where my two kids go to school. ;)

 

Just getting to the boards this morning and very glad to read all the replies (especially those that agree with me;)).

 

I see how the stereotype would be irritating, but I guess I just overlook stuff like that since I figure the guy has a limited exposure to homeschooling. I think his take on hsing is interesting *because* he has such a limited exposure to it and yet still has such a strong opinion. He seems to have quite a bit of knowledge about folks who reject hs'ers for no good reason other than the fact that hs'ers reject the status quo. I was glad he realized that most people's objections to hsing are related to their own lack of moral resolve and not because hs'ers are wrong.

 

We don't fit that stair-step, braided hair stereotype either (although I do have 5 children), but I know plenty of people who do - some of whom are my dear friends. I'm guessing the hs'ers who don't fit the mold are assumed to be ps'ers so get overlooked entirely.

 

In any case, I thought, in spite of his narrow perception of hs'ers, he did a good job of slapping the hands of those who reject hs'ers simply because they reject society's norms. If I were a ps'er this article would have made me feel *more* sympathetc to hs'ers, not less. I might even begin to question my own choices regarding my children.

[Nestof3]

I thought he was trying to point out the positive side of homeschooling and wanting people to lay off criticizing homeschoolers.

 

Sure, it's full of sterotypes, but I don't think he really believes them -- not for all people at all time. But I think he's seen enough of this exemplified to take notice. I have seen people out and about and asked if they homeschool -- there were signs that made me wonder. I've even been asked by my the librarian if I homeschool because we check out a lot of books -- quality books.

[*anj*]

I wasn't insulted by the article at all. I actually thought that it presented our choice to homeschool in a positive light.

Granted, he didn't seem to try very hard to find out about the wide range of people who homeschool. Generalizations are annoying, but he used them for non-homeschoolers too.

 

I think that his bigger point is that people generally feel threatened when someone or some group effectively reject our own status quo.

Think about it:

breast vs. bottle feeding

extended breast feeding vs. mom-led weaning

family bed vs. children in their own beds

vax vs. no vax

circ vs. leaving it alone

stay at home vs. working outside the home

 

If someone leaves our church we wonder whether there's something wrong with them or something wrong with us for staying.

 

And the list could go on and on.

 

It seems that the intent of his article was to challenge non-homeschoolers to do some self reflection. I didn't get the impression that he was simply trying to paint homeschoolers as a homogeneous blob.

[brehon]

However, why didn't you people tell me that, as a homeschooler, my children therefore do not whine and beg for stuff in the store? I'm off to tell them - they CLEARLY missed that memo. :glare:

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

 

Mine missed the memo as well. In fact, my girls just lost library priveleges for a while after yesterday's behavior.:glare:

 

I, too, did not find the article insulting in the least. In fact, I'm not so sure the author didn't use the stereotypical image of a homeschooler deliberately. After all, it's an image everyone knows on some level, even if we as homeschoolers reject it as completely valid. And I agree with the author that we have rejected the cultural norm at least as far as educating our children.

 

I also thought he had a good point when he pointed out that homeschoolers pay taxes to support the local ISDs and, generally, don't use those services, i.e. the school districts don't spend money on homeschooled kids. If I were a district superintendent (perish the thought:D), I'd be all over that financial windfall making sure the "cash cow" didn't dry up completely.

[kristavws]

:iagree:

 

I read his description of the "typical" homeschooler as parodic - not of homeschoolers, but of how homeschoolers are viewed by the outside world (public-schooled world? not-familiar-with-homeschooling world?) I don't think he's trying to inform about homeschoolers as much as explore the "rest of the world's" animosity towards hs-ing.

 

We came out of ps to hs-ing when dd's were entering 1st & 5th grades. I wonder if that makes a difference as to how I read his viewpoint?

 

This is what I thought as well.

 

Krista

[Heather in the Kootenays]

True, he used a stereotype that has some basis in fact in many areas but certainly doesn't represent all homeschoolers.

 

However, I think his point was that our existence is seen as a bit of a reproach to other parents. I often have people almost apologize for chosing to send their kids to school. We force parents to reconsider decisions that they may or may not have made consciously. It's not our fault or our problem but I think it's still a very real reaction to homeschooling.

[HollyinNNV]

I thought the article was just plain weird. It was like writing about something which you really know very little about.........a great lesson for how not to write I suppose.

Holly

[Mekanamom]

It sounded to me like the author was just saying that "mainstream schoolers" are uncomfortable with "homeschoolers" simply because they are dissatisfied with their own choices.

 

I think he used a lot of stereotypes on both sides to make his point.

 

Very angry & kind of shocking last couple of sentences.