so... what do y'all think of Octomom?

[butterflymommy]

I read recently that Nadya Suleman has filed for bankruptcy.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/octomom-files-bankruptcy-owes-30k-rent-16247759#.T5-5zrNSSOE

 

This after much hullabaloo over an expensive "brazilian blowout" where her hairdresser surreptitiously snapped photos of alleged squalor in the home (it didn't look that bad to me, except for one room). The toilets weren't working so they were all "going" in the backyard when she got the haircut. It's reported that the toilets have since been fixed.

 

I honestly don't know what to think about this lady. At first I admired her for refusing to do a reality TV show or porn, but she went on to do a fetish video (she chases a grown man in diapers while wearing a dominatrix outfit-- in her house with the kids' toys visible) and posed topless. She's now saying she'll do porn. :confused:

 

I know many judge her for having "too many" kids, but as a mom of many children myself I can't fault her for that. But I don't understand why she's gone about things the way she has. I also don't understand why social services hasn't stepped in to set her up with housing? Why is she trying to pay rent on her own in the private market when she can't earn money or manage it? The article above says she was paid $5000 to promote the spaying and neutering of animals. What kind of message does that send to her children???

 

It also says she receives $5000/ month in state aid. I know this isn't a huge amount of money but when my husband and I were starting out we lived off much less than that with 4 kids (6 people total) with no assistance. I get the impression that her problems don't stem from money... she seems weird, crazy, and narcissistic.

 

I'm SO curious what the hive thinks of her, if anything. :bigear:

[JFSinIL]

as little as possible.

[Onceuponatime]

as little as possible.

 

:iagree:

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I think it's an insane situation all around!

 

I don't like some of what tge hairdresser said, though. She commented about the kids not wearing gender specific clothes and not having gender specific haircuts. I don't see why this is a big deal.

 

I think that Dr should have to pay some expenses on the kids behalf.

[LaxMom]

. I get the impression that her problems don't stem from money... she seems weird, crazy, and narcissistic.

And there you have it. I honestly don't have much thought over how many kids other people have, beyond the thought that I would lose my mind from living in my house with so many other people (introvert, need some downtime without personal input... Many children is just a mismatch with *my* personality.)

 

But... I think it's quite obvious she is more interested in the spectacle than the parenting. And that is very unfortunate for her children.

[DawnM]

I just know she is mentally ill and no one should feed the crazies (attention).

[Annie G]

I try not to read anything about her because it makes me angry to think that she is receiving public assistance and paying $500 for a Brazilian blowout. Ok, so I guess it was actually two haircuts. But that's more than I pay for my hair care and dd's haircuts in a year.

[TheTwinsMom1]

I saw on the news she is now doing this dial a star deal also with this company that allows normal people to phone up the stars. She gets like 25$ an hour to do this.

[besroma]

as little as possible.

 

:iagree:and :ack2::eek::blink:

[Jennifer3141]

I think she's a disgusting attention hoe. And although it doesn't always work this way (cough Kardashians cough), most people arne't giving her the attention she craves.

 

She had a litter of babies for the attention. She's just gross.

 

And the doctor who did it should lose his license permanently. :glare:

[Stacy in NJ]

her children. It is beyond irresponsible to bring children into this world with the use of fertility drugs that you are not capable of caring for.

 

She's a horrible person.

[chepyl]

as little as possible.

 

:iagree: I had forgotten aboit her until I saw this post.

[gingersmom]

her children. It is beyond irresponsible to bring children into this world with the use of fertility drugs that you are not capable of caring for.

 

She's a horrible person.

 

What if you have children the old fashioned way and can't take care of them?

[butterflymommy]

But... I think it's quite obvious she is more interested in the spectacle than the parenting. And that is very unfortunate for her children.

 

I thought this to, but if this is the case, why hasn't she done reality TV or even set up an active blog... or something "public?" She strikes me as a weird combination of exhibitionist and privacy freak.

[butterflymommy]

And the doctor who did it should lose his license permanently. :glare:

 

I think he did?

[Parrothead]

I get that she has issues. But people started kicking her the minute it was announced that she is a single mom. I think she is one of the top 5 people that society has sanctioned as okay to hate.

 

That is just my opinion. I'm not going to defend it or be drawn into an argument over her. I don't really pay that much attention to her.

[Mrs Mungo]

I just know she is mentally ill and no one should feed the crazies (attention).

 

I tend to agree. She clearly has issues.

 

What if you have children the old fashioned way and can't take care of them?

 

Then there are usually 2 parents to help take care of/financially support the kids.

[Jennifer3141]

I think he did?

 

I thought it was just a suspension.

 

But I did enjoy reading a medical journal where he was just SKEWERED by his peers. It was embarrassing to reproductive health doctors what this maniac did.

[Haiku]

But I don't understand why she's gone about things the way she has.

 

I'd say it's because she emotionally unbalanced and overwhelmed with too many kids. I mean, more power to those with 8 kids, but having 8 kids and having 8 kids all the same age are completely different things.

 

Tara

[elegantlion]

I think she has issues. I also think she thought "the public" was going to fork over enough money to help her care for those babies. She's either refused the counsel of someone willing to help "market" her 15 minutes of fame, or no one is willing to take on the challenge.

 

Personally I think someone like Kate G (who I hold no real opinion of) should come in privately and counsel her on public perception and how to privately take care of that amount of children.

 

Sadly she has ended up looking like a train wreck, while Kate G got a makeover. :tongue_smilie:

[BatmansWife]

I'm not sure what to think of her......but, I actually do kinda feel sorry for her and her situation. She definitely made some bad choices (and still is), and she admitted that...but at least she didn't abort all those babies. After finally applying for food stamps (last I heard it was $2000 a month), she started getting hate mail and death threats....she said thousands of them. Last time she was on the Today Show someone smashed the windshield of her car. I'm sure there are times she's at her wits end trying to figure out how to feed and clothe and care for that many kids by herself. I feel really sorry for those kids.....they'll probably always have a reputation of being some kind of freaks (and I'm not at all saying that I think they are!).

 

ETA: I just clicked on the link about her filing for bankruptcy and her house being forclosed on. What a shame. Where are they going to live??

Edited May 1, 2012 by ~AprilMay~

[SKL]

I don't know her personally and I don't believe the media as a general rule. She doesn't seem to act the way I would, but neither do a lot of other people who are accepted in our society.

 

People have been so nasty and hateful toward her every move since they figured out a few basics about her family structure. Ever since then, she cannot win no matter what she does. The media is only going to point out the negative. You know there have to be positives in there. To me, it's amazing that all those children are alive and healthy. Honestly, that's a miracle; nobody else in history has been able to physically do the same with octuplets. But all people want to hear about is what she's doing wrong. As if any of us would have it all together with 14 (or even 8) kids.

 

When she went to NY and had the kids in an interview when they were 2.5, all I heard was how horrible they were. They were perfectly normal, if not unusually well-behaved, for their age. That is impressive when you think about it. But all people can do is hate on this woman and her kids.

 

Personally I believe that every brainwave of negativity sent toward this family is hurting those kids. Hardly anyone is helping them in any way. When you take it all into consideration, let's just say things could be a whole lot worse.

[tuzor]

First I have to say in general I don't think about her but recently I have seen that there has been a little buzz over her agian.

 

I just know she is mentally ill and no one should feed the crazies (attention).

 

If the doctors can not see that there are some issues there. I don't know what to say. What person in their right mind with six kids at home as a single person decides to have more kids. And she was having financial difficulty with the six she already had. Then you add eight more. Are you kidding me! :blink::blink:Completely selfish and unresponsible. Why should the children have to suffer needlessly. Its a shame. This has crazy written all over it.

 

 

And the doctor who did it should lose his license permanently. :glare:

 

Its obvious he was not in his right mind either.

 

What if you have children the old fashioned way and can't take care of them?

 

That's a completely different topic. The old fashion way implies that there was no surgical intervention. But when you spend money to be implanted with children and you can't afford the children you currently have that's the difference.

I don't agree with people having children the old fashioned way that they can't support but medical intervention to have the children is a completely different topic.

[butterflymommy]

her children. It is beyond irresponsible to bring children into this world with the use of fertility drugs that you are not capable of caring for.

 

 

I agree with this, but-- are we then saying people with mental illness should not have children? Or that poor people shouldn't? Single mothers? Or is it ok for those people to have children the old fashioned way, but not through fertility treatments? Or that they should only have a certain number of kids (how many)?

 

I know an amazing homeschooling family with 9 kids. Their yearly income is less than octomom's and they probably receive assistance. I wouldn't dream of saying they were irresponsible. But the ocotomom situation brings all these questions to the fore.

[BatmansWife]

I don't know her personally and I don't believe the media as a general rule. She doesn't seem to act the way I would, but neither do a lot of other people who are accepted in our society.

 

People have been so nasty and hateful toward her every move since they figured out a few basics about her family structure. Ever since then, she cannot win no matter what she does. The media is only going to point out the negative. You know there have to be positives in there. To me, it's amazing that all those children are alive and healthy. Honestly, that's a miracle; nobody else in history has been able to physically do the same with octuplets. But all people want to hear about is what she's doing wrong. As if any of us would have it all together with 14 (or even 8) kids.

 

When she went to NY and had the kids in an interview when they were 2.5, all I heard was how horrible they were. They were perfectly normal, if not unusually well-behaved, for their age. That is impressive when you think about it. But all people can do is hate on this woman and her kids.

 

Personally I believe that every brainwave of negativity sent toward this family is hurting those kids. Hardly anyone is helping them in any way. When you take it all into consideration, let's just say things could be a whole lot worse.

 

:iagree: Any time she is on the Today Show and they show the kids playing in the yard or in the house, she is always very attentive and seems very loving (giving kisses and hugs....giving them each attention). I think she is trying to be a good mom. It's got to be just horrible for her to have so much hate towards her.

[butterflymommy]

:iagree: Any time she is on the Today Show and they show the kids playing in the yard or in the house, she is always very attentive and seems very loving (giving kisses and hugs....giving them each attention). I think she is trying to be a good mom. It's got to be just horrible for her to have so much hate towards her.

 

I was largely sympathetic toward her but she seems to be tearing down her house with her own hands. Her doing publicity for spaying animals is just sick. I can't imagine what it makes the kids think/ feel.

[butterflymommy]

And she was having financial difficulty with the six she already had. Then you add eight more. Are you kidding me! :blink::blink:Completely selfish and unresponsible. Why should the children have to suffer needlessly. Its a shame. This has crazy written all over it.

 

Again I agree with this, but, my parents thought/ think I'm crazy for having the number of kids I have (7... and I'd love more). So who decides what is ok in terms of how many and for whom? This is what i find so fascinating (admittedly, in a very sad way) about octomom.

 

By middle class standards we "couldn't afford" our first 4 children. By the time we were on #5 our finances improved vastly. If we'd waited until that point, though, our lovely first 4 children wouldn't be here.

[tuzor]

I agree with this, but-- are we then saying people with mental illness should not have children? Or that poor people shouldn't? Single mothers? Or is it ok for those people to have children the old fashioned way, but not through fertility treatments? Or that they should only have a certain number of kids (how many)?

 

I know an amazing homeschooling family with 9 kids. Their yearly income is less than octomom's and they probably receive assistance. I wouldn't dream of saying they were irresponsible. But the ocotomom situation brings all these questions to the fore.

 

These are not questions that are easily answered and should be dealt with on a case by case basis as each person and situation is different.

 

But I will ask the question to you about your friend if they are recieving public aid. Why should the public have to support their children. Agian I don't know this family and they may not be reciveing aid. But I am asking the question in general. My husband and I have had a talk and we have three kids and we can support them. Truthfully I would love to have more children but we can't afford to have more. Why would it be okay to have more and rely on the assistance of others to take care of my children?

[tuzor]

Again I agree with this, but, my parents thought/ think I'm crazy for having the number of kids I have (7... and I'd love more). So who decides what is ok in terms of how many and for whom? This is what i find so fascinating (admittedly, in a very sad way) about octomom.

 

By middle class standards we "couldn't afford" our first 4 children. By the time we were on #5 our finances improved vastly. If we'd waited until that point, though, our lovely first 4 children wouldn't be here.

 

 

You know my maternal grandparents were married for 65 prior to my grandmother passing and they had 15 children. They recieved no help from the government and paid for all of their children to go to college and left substantial amount for their children when they passed away.

 

Granted life standards and how you want to live and leisure activities you would like to participate in are determined personally. But if you have to seek assistance to feed and house your children perhaps you shouldn't have more. We are not talking about fancy SUV's, designer clothes and electronic devices. These are the basic human needs.

[Stacy in NJ]

I put part of my comments in italics.

 

 

I agree with this, but-- are we then saying people with mental illness should not have children? Or that poor people shouldn't? Single mothers? Or is it ok for those people to have children the old fashioned way, but not through fertility treatments? Or that they should only have a certain number of kids (how many)?

 

I know an amazing homeschooling family with 9 kids. Their yearly income is less than octomom's and they probably receive assistance. I wouldn't dream of saying they were irresponsible. But the ocotomom situation brings all these questions to the fore.

[Haiku]

Her doing publicity for spaying animals is just sick. I can't imagine what it makes the kids think/ feel.

 

I doubt they give it a second thought. I'm sure she didn't sit down with them and say, "Now, children, I am going to do some work to publicize the need to spay and neuter your animals to prevent the births of millions of unwanted and homeless animals. And isn't it ironic that someone with octuplets is doing this? Maybe I should have been spayed, ha ha!"

 

I doubt the kids see any sort of connection.

 

Tara

[Jpoy85]

I think having a large family by whatever means is not the norm anymore and that is one of the issues. Octo Mom, that mexican lady with 9 kids now, The Duggars, The Bates, etc. We find fault in them, when really they are trying with what they have to survive.

 

As far as Octomom. It may have been irresponsible to have that many children, but its not like she could just trade them off. She trying. At least shes trying.

[BatmansWife]

I doubt they give it a second thought. I'm sure she didn't sit down with them and say, "Now, children, I am going to do some work to publicize the need to spay and neuter your animals to prevent the births of millions of unwanted and homeless animals. And isn't it ironic that someone with octuplets is doing this? Maybe I should have been spayed, ha ha!"

 

I doubt the kids see any sort of connection.

 

Tara

 

It took me awhile to get the connection. I was like....."well, what's so wrong about getting an animal spayed?" Then I was like...."oh, I get it. Duh!" I'm slow. :lol:

[Parrothead]

I was largely sympathetic toward her but she seems to be tearing down her house with her own hands. Her doing publicity for spaying animals is just sick. I can't imagine what it makes the kids think/ feel.

I've not seen any PSAs with her in them. So I don't exactly know what the problem is with her doing PSAs for spaying animals is. Would you (or someone in the know) explain?

[Parrothead]

I doubt they give it a second thought. I'm sure she didn't sit down with them and say, "Now, children, I am going to do some work to publicize the need to spay and neuter your animals to prevent the births of millions of unwanted and homeless animals. And isn't it ironic that someone with octuplets is doing this? Maybe I should have been spayed, ha ha!"

 

I doubt the kids see any sort of connection.

 

Tara

Is this what the outrage over her doing PSAs for spaying and neutering is about. How very odd. I can't imagine why the number of children someone has would determine if they are allowed to advocate for spay/neutering of animals.

 

How many is too many children before someone becomes a hypocrite? Three? Five? Seven?

[misidawnrn]

I try not to read anything about her because it makes me angry to think that she is receiving public assistance and paying $500 for a Brazilian blowout. Ok, so I guess it was actually two haircuts. But that's more than I pay for my hair care and dd's haircuts in a year.

 

She makes me want to vomit!!! I don't think she takes good care of her 14 children. Some people are meant to have a quiver full...she shouldn't be one of them.

 

I pay a whopping $20 on a haircut. $500 would buy a lot of haircuts...and I am not on welfare.

[Kathryn]

I think she's mentally ill.

 

I doubt they give it a second thought. I'm sure she didn't sit down with them and say, "Now, children, I am going to do some work to publicize the need to spay and neuter your animals to prevent the births of millions of unwanted and homeless animals. And isn't it ironic that someone with octuplets is doing this? Maybe I should have been spayed, ha ha!"

 

I doubt the kids see any sort of connection.

 

Tara

 

:lol:

[clarkacademy]

I don't care how many kids she has. She doesn't take care of them. That article even stated about her locking them in bedrooms to get her hair cut with chairs stuck against them. If you have 500 for a haircut you have no business being on welfare at all.

[Julie in CA]

I'm SO curious what the hive thinks of her, if anything. :bigear:

I think she's mentally imbalanced, and it has to have been clear before the doctor aided her in what I see as basically a crime against those children. The doctor is morally reprehensible, and honestly, I think the "mother" should either seek mental health services (And I'm ok with paying for that), or be strongly encouraged to have those children adopted by loving parents who are better equipped to provide for their needs.

 

Not politically correct at all, but there you go. I'm like that about children.

[butterflymommy]

I doubt they give it a second thought. I'm sure she didn't sit down with them and say, "Now, children, I am going to do some work to publicize the need to spay and neuter your animals to prevent the births of millions of unwanted and homeless animals. And isn't it ironic that someone with octuplets is doing this? Maybe I should have been spayed, ha ha!"

 

I doubt the kids see any sort of connection.

 

Tara

 

Her oldest two are 11 and 10. My kids that age would definitely get the connection. I think it sends a terrible message.

[BakersDozen]

At first I admired her for refusing to do a reality TV show or porn,

The word "admire" and this woman do not go together, imo. She shouldn't do a TV reality show (goodness knows that's the last thing our society needs!) and porn goes without saying. Was this not the woman who said she would appear on Oprah for only $1 million? Admiration comes with respect and I have neither for this woman.

 

I know many judge her for having "too many" kids, but as a mom of many children myself I can't fault her for that

Having many dc is not the issue. Having many dc with the use of outrageously expensive fertility treatments while living at home and claiming one cannot work and collecting disability (I believe that was the situation...someone correct me if I'm wrong) is the issue. Being able to afford treatment yet not pay for one's own way in life is the issue. But then I know too many families who are doing the exact same kind of things IRL (not fertility treatments but somehow affording very expensive things yet mysteriously unable to provide for their own families) so I guess Octomom is just the norm of society.

 

I also don't understand why social services hasn't stepped in to set her up with housing?

Why should social services step in and provide her with housing? Why should this woman make choices like she did then get away with not being responsible for those choices? We're 3 dc shy of what she has yet believe me, we're not getting a penny from anyone or any organization nor would we ever expect to.

 

It also says she receives $5000/ month in state aid. I know this isn't a huge amount of money

*choke* *gasp* $5000 is LOT of money! Oh my goodness, if we were given $5000/month we'd be living pretty! We make it on much less than that! $5000...good grief. We've really gone about having dc the wrong way, I guess. Stupid us. Edited May 1, 2012 by LuvnMySvn

[gardening momma]

nm

Edited May 1, 2012 by gardening momma

[butterflymommy]

These are not questions that are easily answered and should be dealt with on a case by case basis as each person and situation is different.

 

But I will ask the question to you about your friend if they are recieving public aid. Why should the public have to support their children. Agian I don't know this family and they may not be reciveing aid. But I am asking the question in general. My husband and I have had a talk and we have three kids and we can support them. Truthfully I would love to have more children but we can't afford to have more. Why would it be okay to have more and rely on the assistance of others to take care of my children?

 

In their case they have religious reasons not to limit family size. As far as the question of public support, so much more tax payer money is spent on less noble, and more futile, causes than feeding and housing needy families, that I'm wont to accept government assistance of the poor as a fact of life. But this would get into a political discussion if carried further.

 

In terms of choosing to have children or not, generally speaking I feel the life of a child, even the potential life of the child, far outweighs one's financial situation. But I understand this is an idealistic and impractical sentiment, and I certainly wouldn't force my view on others.

[Parrothead]

Her oldest two are 11 and 10. My kids that age would definitely get the connection. I think it sends a terrible message.

I'm still not seeing how the message is so terrible. She isn't doing PSAs for forced human sterilization.

[A.Balaban]

She's just ridiculous.

 

I don't even want to waste another minute of my time thinking of her.

[butterflymommy]

that mexican lady with 9 kids now

 

My husband told me this turned out to be a fraud! She isn't even pregnant. At least this is what he read somewhere.

[Lara in Colo]

I'm still not seeing how the message is so terrible. She isn't doing PSAs for forced human sterilization.

 

 

It is sort of tongue in cheek, implying that she had a litter. Otherwise I agree with you that it is perfectly fine for her to do the ad.

Honestly, I think what she has to do to support her children is fine.

 

I don't really know enough about her situation, but it does seem that she spends her money rather unwisely, but that seems to be par for the course for her (and the rest of America).

[Haiku]

Her oldest two are 11 and 10. My kids that age would definitely get the connection. I think it sends a terrible message.

 

What is the connection? Too many kids = too many unwanted pets?

 

Tara

[butterflymommy]

and porn goes without saying

 

She's now saying she will do porn!:eek:

 

(I believe that was the situation...someone correct me if I'm wrong) is the issue.

 

Her wikipedia says she was injured in a "1999 riot." I'm not sure what riot this would have been? :confused:

 

Why should social services step in and provide her with housing?

 

I wasn't asking theoretically-- I was asking practically. The services are there, why hasn't she availed herself of them? Whether the services should be there at all is a different (and political) discussion.

 

*choke* *gasp* $5000 is LOT of money! Oh my goodness, if we were given $5000/month we'd be living pretty! We make it on much less than that! $5000...good grief. We've really gone about having dc the wrong way, I guess. Stupid us.

 

I said it wasn't a "huge" amount of money-- but I do feel it should be adequate to get by on. We've lived on much less than that too.

[butterflymommy]

What is the connection? Too many kids = too many unwanted pets?

 

Tara

 

Yes. Remember her children are often referred to as a "litter" by the media.