"I'm so glad that the staff aren't moms"

[Jean in Newcastle]

Someone said this to me about the staff at the Y Adventure Zone (daycare for while the parents are exercising). They then went on to say that at another Y, the staff were mostly moms and they weren't as fun or as positive as the young college age staff that we have at our Y. Do you think that moms treat kids (not their own) differently from younger non-parents when they are in charge in such a setting? And do you think that having younger college staff brings something to kids that is unique and positive? (I'm leaning to the feeling that there is some truth and value to what this person said to me but I can't quite verbalize why.)

 

P.S. - The person wasn't anti-mom. She just thought that it was a bonus to have some people who weren't moms in charge.

[clarkacademy]

Yes I agree and so do my kids. It is hard to say why exactly but my kids had more fun when it was the college age in charge of the daycares.

[In The Great White North]

My favorite "daycare" type of place was at a ski mountain and run by a grandma.

 

The college kids were great as ski instructors but not so great for the littler ones.

[Briartell]

I find that to be the opposite here. The younger ones allow big kids to come in the baby only area and are lax on child safety precautions. They are obsessed with their smartphones.

 

However, this is a generalization. We have had some fantastic single ladies and horrible moms. I don't think you can say one is better than the other all the time. It really depends on who hires the staff.

[Carrie12345]

When I was in high school and college, playing with kids (babysitting, being a scout leader, etc.) was a fun break from life. Now it IS my life. I don't have the energy to bump it up a notch for other kids, and the novelty has definitely worn off!

[PeacefulChaos]

When I was in high school and college, playing with kids (babysitting, being a scout leader, etc.) was a fun break from life. Now it IS my life. I don't have the energy to bump it up a notch for other kids, and the novelty has definitely worn off!

 

I think this sums it up pretty well. :)

[FO4UR]

When I was in high school and college, playing with kids (babysitting, being a scout leader, etc.) was a fun break from life. Now it IS my life. I don't have the energy to bump it up a notch for other kids, and the novelty has definitely worn off!

:iagree:

 

 

 

That said, sometimes it takes a mom to understand the safety/health/discipline factor. If I were looking for long-term childcare, I would search for an experienced mom or grandma. For a couple hours, the young energetic young woman who thinks it's fun to play tag with a 6yo is perfect.

[T'smom]

When I was in high school and college, playing with kids (babysitting, being a scout leader, etc.) was a fun break from life. Now it IS my life. I don't have the energy to bump it up a notch for other kids, and the novelty has definitely worn off!

 

 

This is it exactly! I know I was more fun before I was a mom. I just give so much to my own kids that I don't have anything left over for that type of thing.

[LaxMom]

Interesting. I think it's mostly the opposite in our child watch center. The younger staff tend to sit and make sure there's no death or dismemberment. We've had to ban electronic devices, including phones. Our older, "mom", staff members engage the kids, play games, etc. I think, in our case, the older staff are very kid-oriented (it's a part time job after they do in-home child care, for instance), whereas the younger set is looking for a job with no employment experience. It's not always the case, certainly, and we have some younger girls who are great with kids and some older ones who had to be sacked for being just plain crazy, but that seems to be the trend I observe in my little corner.

[swellmomma]

Interesting. I think it's mostly the opposite in our child watch center. The younger staff tend to sit and make sure there's no death or dismemberment. We've had to ban electronic devices, including phones. Our older, "mom", staff members engage the kids, play games, etc. I think, in our case, the older staff are very kid-oriented (it's a part time job after they do in-home child care, for instance), whereas the younger set is looking for a job with no employment experience. It's not always the case, certainly, and we have some younger girls who are great with kids and some older ones who had to be sacked for being just plain crazy, but that seems to be the trend I observe in my little corner.

 

:iagree:This is my experience with many of the college aged practicum students in the daycares I have worked. At the same time I have seen just as many "moms" working in daycares that would prefer to just sit on their backsides and make sure there was no blood but not really engaged with the kids.

 

It is a personality thing not a parental status thing imo.

[Mommyof4ks]

I agree with PP, it is more of a personality thing. Most college students want to work with kids if they work in a daycare, so it seems like most college kids are more fun. Moms may feel like working with kids is the most flexible job to keep from paying daycare costs rather than really wanting to work with the kids.

 

Personally, I love working with kids, and I love to have fun with them. It is just who I am. I am the one chasing them and throwing balls in the house. :D

[CalicoKat]

Someone said this to me about the staff at the Y Adventure Zone (daycare for while the parents are exercising). They then went on to say that at another Y, the staff were mostly moms and they weren't as fun or as positive as the young college age staff that we have at our Y. Do you think that moms treat kids (not their own) differently from younger non-parents when they are in charge in such a setting? And do you think that having younger college staff brings something to kids that is unique and positive? (I'm leaning to the feeling that there is some truth and value to what this person said to me but I can't quite verbalize why.)

 

P.S. - The person wasn't anti-mom. She just thought that it was a bonus to have some people who weren't moms in charge.

 

I prefer the mom swim teachers. They're far more experienced at keeping control of their classes so the kids learn something. I guess that means it's not as fun. :001_smile:

[woolybear]

I have very little experience with this, but this thread has made me think about how I have changed. I used to be more fun too. Even when my kids were little. Now I'm more the "make sure there's no blood, but prefer not to be engaged" type. :ohmy: Not really proud to write that. I wonder how I can get back to being a bit more fun....

 

Ds said to me today, "I wish you weren't unhappy so much." I said, "Do I seem unhappy a lot?" then he said no, but.........

 

Sorry to get OT here. Maybe I'll start a S/O thread.

Edited April 7, 2012 by woolybear
apologizing for hijacking

[akmommy]

Haven't read the other replies, but I think a lot of it has to with the fact that when the childless ones get off work they are done with kids for the day. The moms are taking care of other peoples kids all day and then they go home to their own. Before having my own kids I was the fun aunt to my nephews and niece, but I only had to Be "on" for them a few hours a couple days a week. That's much different then 24/7.

Edited April 7, 2012 by akmommy

[AdventureMoms]

When I was in high school and college, playing with kids (babysitting, being a scout leader, etc.) was a fun break from life. Now it IS my life. I don't have the energy to bump it up a notch for other kids, and the novelty has definitely worn off!

:iagree: I was way more fun as a teen sitter than I am now as a mom. I love my kids and I love being a mom, but I don't have the energy to be super fun all the time. When I was a teen it was easy to be fun for a couple hours, then go home and do other non-kiddy stuff.

[AdventureMoms]

:iagree:

 

 

 

That said, sometimes it takes a mom to understand the safety/health/discipline factor. If I were looking for long-term childcare, I would search for an experienced mom or grandma. For a couple hours, the young energetic young woman who thinks it's fun to play tag with a 6yo is perfect.

 

This is true too. My DD's gymnastics teacher is fun, but the kids run amok (college age, no kids). It's fine for what it is (a fun tumbling class), but I wouldn't want her to be DD's primary caregiver either.

[elegantlion]

Haven't read the other replies, but I think a lot of it has to with the fact that when the childless ones get off work they are done with kids for the day. The moms are taking care of other peoples kids all day and then they go home to their own. Before having my own kids I was the fun aunt to my nephews and niece, but I only had to Be "on" for them a few hours a couple days a week. That's much different then 24/7.

 

:iagree:

[AndyJoy]

I suspect it is a mixture of personality and child saturation :D.

 

I was one of those bubbly, energetic, fun college students. I just loved playing with kids! (I was also very responsible, safety-conscious, and rule-following :001_smile:). I loved babysitting, working in AWANA Clubs & VBS, etc. I planned and engaged in all kinds of fun activities.

 

Now that I have my own son, I get plenty of playtime with him and don't feel the need to be that involved with other people's kids all the time. I don't engage in a lot of the play that I used to. If I were working with kids as a job, however, I think I would still be bubbly and fun because it is my personality to love playing with kids. Plus I would intentionally be "on" for them, whereas most of my current interactions with other people's kids are informal. I do work with the youth group at my church and am told that I have a good balance of being fun and engaging but also "the adult."

 

The timing of this thread is interesting, though. This morning I was at the park w/my son and 3 other women and their kids. At one point the kids were all hiding in a corner and I pretended I couldn't see them--only a pile of trash that had blown there. I started tickling them and saying, "Wait--this trash feels like an elbow!" The kids (ages 5, 4, 3, and 2), thought this was hilarious. When I wandered off, the 4-year-old chased me down and begged for me to pick up more "trash." For the next 15 minutes or so, I chased them around the playground while pretending to be astonished about how fast the "trash" was blowing in the wind. I marveled that "trash" could ride a bicycle or talk to me. I picked each of them up in turn and lamented that they wouldn't fit in the trash can so I put them down the "trash chute" (slide) instead. The kids begged for more! I had never played anything silly with them before and they were enthralled. I suspect they're going to want more next Friday. (What have I done?!? I'll get a great workout again!)

 

The two older moms (38/40) looked at me like I was insane. They have playdates so they can sit and talk. They rarely engage in play with their kids at the park and bark, "go play" a lot. The third mom (32) thought it was funny. She's got a more reserved personality than me and is not really a silly play kind of person, but she does dig in the dirt with her boys and encourage them in their imaginative play.

Edited April 7, 2012 by AndyJoy

[Jean in Newcastle]

There are too many posts here that I agree with to quote them all!

 

Yes, I was more fun when I had more energy! And yes, I can see that it is a personality thing and perhaps a sign of good people doing the hiring. As I think about this, I realize that I've heard at least 3 of the college staff say that they are pursuing teaching degrees.

[Virg]

When I was in high school and college, playing with kids (babysitting, being a scout leader, etc.) was a fun break from life. Now it IS my life. I don't have the energy to bump it up a notch for other kids, and the novelty has definitely worn off!

 

:iagree:

 

 

 

That said, sometimes it takes a mom to understand the safety/health/discipline factor. If I were looking for long-term childcare, I would search for an experienced mom or grandma. For a couple hours, the young energetic young woman who thinks it's fun to play tag with a 6yo is perfect.

 

:iagree:

[Splinter]

My kids would completely agree with that. They love young dance teachers, camp counselors, swimming instructors etc.

 

It works with dads too. My oldest son's hockey team had two assistant coaches this year who were 18 and 20. He talked all the time about how much more fun it is to have young coaches than just dads. :tongue_smilie:

[sewingmama]

Before having my own kids I was the fun aunt to my nephews and niece, but I only had to Be "on" for them a few hours a couple days a week.

 

:iagree:

 

I'm always lamenting to my DH about how much fun I used to be and all the fun stuff I did with my neices and nephews that I don't do with my own kids

 

Mum's also are older and tireder LOL. When I was in my 20's I had energy and good health. I am now 38 and my health is not great and I don't get as much sleep and I have more worries. With 3 kids 5 and under I'm "kid saturated" LOL - I don't seek out other's kids to play with like I used to because I am just wishing I could get rid of mine so I can take a break :lol:

 

I run the Nursery at my church (18 months - 3yo's) and there is so much I would love to do with them but honestly by the time Sunday rolls around and I've spent all week with my 3 and homeschooling them... facing a class of little ones doesn't seem as appealling as it used to ;) Plus I'm kind of burnt out on the activity planning after doing it with my own kids all week long - by Sunday I'm very over glue, paint and threading noodles :lol:

 

I do try to keep in mind that I want to try to be the type of teacher I would like my son to have if it was someone else doing the job (my 2yo is in my class) but some days instead of cleaning up playdough or playing hide under the blanket for the 50th time that week I would just rather sit and watch the kids play or read them a book (which I am always open to).

 

I totally need a nap when I get home from that 2 hour class :lol: but of course I don't get one because I have 3 little ones to deal with still.

 

My kids LOVE playing with the teens at church -they are fun -they love to chase- they love to tease etc etc - I encourage it and tell my kids to go and find someone fun to play with so I can take a rest :lol:

[Liz CA]

If the young people like kids, yes, I believe they bring an energy to the scene that most Moms don't have anymore. :001_smile:

My ds (when he was about 5) had a college age swim instructor who was fantastic. That guy could think up games like nobody's business, no kid was ever scared or made to feel like they weren't as advanced as the next kid - and all kids knew how to swim at the end of two weeks.

One of ds's favorite games was when everyone lined up at the edge of the pool, each child got to pick the name of his / her favorite food. The young man then called out the food and the kid "whose name it was" had to jump in the pool and start swimming until all kids were in the pool. So it went like: Snickers, fried eggs, Cheerios....and everyone jumped in. Fun memories!

[Ecclecticmum]

I'm still "young" but before I had kids, as the OP said, playing with children was a break from my life. I used to do a lot of babysitting (overnights, weekends, some longer hauls as well) and even with the longer babysitting jobs, I was always all fun, smiles and ideas. I actually (and still do in some ways) prefer hanging round kids then adults. They are honest, all about the fun in life, and you can just "be silly" without another adult going :001_huh: and thinking your insane :lol:

 

But I think the point of the jobs, were, in fact that they were jobs/a break, I knew at such and such a time, I could go back home and lounge and play on my computer and generally frump around :p

 

When your a mum, life changes, There is no break/frump time from it. I still interact with my kids the way I used to interact with my charges 75% of the time, because basically, you can't keep up with that pep 24/7. And then to actually be in a position where you have to be that way round multiple other kids? Yep, I'd last about 10 minutes :lol: Thats why Birthday parties, the aftershow is always the mom practically dead on her feet, with her eyes glazed and a smashing headache.

 

We are human, and only have a limited amount of patience at our disposal. There are only a few moms I have met, to be ultra peppy enough to actually maintain a sweet, fun, positive disposition 24/7...and to be frank....they scare me :lol: They tend to be very over-exhuberant at everything, and I feel like say "yes...yesss...... :leaving: runawaaaayyyy!!!!" lol. But I'd happily pay those types to take care of my kids for the day, and I am sure my kids would be ultra happy to have a lady like that every now and again.

 

:tongue_smilie:

[Snickerdoodle]

The two older moms (38/40) looked at me like I was insane. They have playdates so they can sit and talk. They rarely engage in play with their kids at the park and bark, "go play" a lot.

 

Maybe it's the only adult interaction the other moms have all day and they look forward to it?

 

Maybe they feel that their kids don't need to be entertained by them at every moment of the day?

 

Just some thoughts.

[TN Mama]

Interesting. I think it's mostly the opposite in our child watch center. The younger staff tend to sit and make sure there's no death or dismemberment. We've had to ban electronic devices, including phones. Our older, "mom", staff members engage the kids, play games, etc. I think, in our case, the older staff are very kid-oriented (it's a part time job after they do in-home child care, for instance), whereas the younger set is looking for a job with no employment experience. It's not always the case, certainly, and we have some younger girls who are great with kids and some older ones who had to be sacked for being just plain crazy, but that seems to be the trend I observe in my little corner.

 

:iagree: And the parents at the Ys I've worked in have always expressed how thankful they were to have other moms watching their children.

[merry gardens]

I have very little experience with this, but this thread has made me think about how I have changed. I used to be more fun too. Even when my kids were little. Now I'm more the "make sure there's no blood, but prefer not to be engaged" type. :ohmy: Not really proud to write that. I wonder how I can get back to being a bit more fun....

 

Ds said to me today, "I wish you weren't unhappy so much." I said, "Do I seem unhappy a lot?" then he said no, but.........

 

Sorry to get OT here. Maybe I'll start a S/O thread.

Did you start that S/O thread? I'm another formally-fun-but-now-too-tired-mom. I'm tired of being too tired for fun. At events with other children, I can sometimes turn-on the "fun" but for the most part, my energy goes towards keeping children safe.

 

I'm more of a "life-guard" than an "entertainer". Children need both, but if/when I only have enough energy for one, I prefer to be a life-guard.

[Guest submarines]

I agree. College age staff is usually there because they truly enjoy having kids around, and they do have a totally different energy around children.

[Parrothead]

I think it might really just depend on the age of the person. Young moms can be fun and upbeat. Older moms can be tired. But the opposite can also be true for either category. And personality. I think don't think many people who employ child care workers will hire the fuddy-duddy.

[Michelle O. in MO]

I work in the KidZone at our local Y. Our staff is evenly split down the middle. Half are moms, half are college kids. The college kids spend most of their time managing gym time, staff/moms are in the nursery. The ages of the children range from 6 weeks to 9 years old.

 

Based on my own experience, moms of children 3yo and younger prefer moms looking after their babies. We change diapers, feed, cuddle, and oversee the safety of the little ones. Our college staff strongly prefer not to mess with the babies. I've had college staff ask me if I'll take the baby, or just plain hand the baby straight over no discussion. Now hand them a 3yo or older child and they are the center of wild fun.

 

So I think it takes some balance. I've noticed our college staff will let the older kids run wild.... totally wild. They will let a lot of bad behavior go undisciplined. That's where the older staff come in. We try to keep things balanced...fun with safety in mind.

[Janie Grace]

When I was in high school and college, playing with kids (babysitting, being a scout leader, etc.) was a fun break from life. Now it IS my life. I don't have the energy to bump it up a notch for other kids, and the novelty has definitely worn off!

 

:iagree: That's exactly what I was going to say. Yes, college kids just have more natural enthusiasm because they have lots of energy and the kid-thing is still new and fun.