would you allow your ds to go to PS?

[3browneyedboys4me]

My son has continued to ask for PS. We are entering our third year of his asking...it just doesn't seem to go away. He really wants to go. I never thought this would be a problem. I never expected it- silly me! However, he does and now, I am wondering if I should just let him experience it.

 

Have any of you dealt with this before with your own kids? I have so many mixed emotions about it. I know that homeschooling is the right choice for many, many different reasons. But, does right make it the BEST choice for HIM.? He is extremely social, competitive, and I think he wants to be 'seen' with his own peer group. He just likes to be involved in so much. I do feel like he could be more stimulated, but I just can't provide that at home...and, I have too many children to run around and try to keep him active. Well, I guess that doesn't sound quite right, but I do have four children and the youngest is two and I'm not willing to run around all evening to keep him busy. So, what to do...what to do? We happen to live less than two miles from a very good elementary school and brand new 'good' middle school. *sigh* The elementary school ranks high in our district. I'm not sure about the middle school.

 

 

I guess i should add that he is in third grade this year. :) This has been going on since 1st grade. There has never been any doubt or change in his mind about it. He just simply wants to go and try it.

 

So, what would you do? I just need some guidance, or perspective? I'm feeling like this desire is just not ever going to go away for him. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!!!

 

So, I'm just being completely curious here...would you allow your child to experience PS?

Edited February 19, 2012 by 3browneyedboys4me
adding son's grade level

[NicAnn]

For our family, no I wouldn't. We homeschool for a variety of reasons...all of which cannot be found in a public school.

 

Is there a way he can take a class or two at the school? Our district offers that option.

 

Good luck!

[3browneyedboys4me]

I don't think so, but I guess that is worth checking out.

 

Good idea. :)

[Mama Geek]

I would not, but I guess it depends on why you are homeschooling.

[melissel]

Is he really, truly miserable at home? Do you feel like it's hurting your relationship with him? For either of those two things, yes, I probably would if the school is decent. However, there would be much, MUCH conversation beforehand about the paramount importance of the quality of his education and how, even if he's having fun, you will bring him home if you see his education suffering (even if he doesn't see it).

 

If he's pretty happy at home, though, and is mainly just curious, no, I probably wouldn't.

[almondbutterandjelly]

I think in your situation, I would allow him to try it. If it doesn't work out, you can always start homeschooling him again. For what it's worth, my dd experienced ps for 2nd grade (private school for k and 1), and almost every day says how happy she is to homeschool (she's now in 5th).

 

Now, if your son was in middle school, my answer might be no. I think third grade would be all right, though. I suspect he will ultimately prefer homeschool. PS is not that fun.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

What are his reasons for wanting to go? Does he have good, valid, thought out reasons? Once you figure out his reasons is there another way to fulfil those needs?

 

My kids will not be going to Public School if I have anything to say about it. There are many MANY reasons for that (not just 1 or 2) I would not just allow public school. I would find other avenues to fulfil whatever he feels he is missing. Can he participate in PS sports and clubs? Find out. Here they can, but the PS fought with us at first. I had to show them the law regarding homeschoolers. Dd8th is in Band and Choir with PS and plays Volleyball with them. Dd4th does Volleyball and Basketball (they start in 4th here) and will start band next year when the 5th graders do.

[Lynnae]

Your son sounds a lot like mine. He went to kindergarten before we homeschooled him for the last few years. He never stopped begging to go back to school. Like your son, he is extremely social and competitive.

 

After much prayer, we sent him to a local Christian school a couple of weeks ago. It was the perfect choice for him. He's much happier, and he's learning a lot....without complaining. He doesn't even complain about homework.

 

I guess your decision depends on why you're homeschooling. I've never been one that believes homeschooling is the right choice for every child. My kids have done public school, homeschooling, and now Christian school. While homeschooling is the right choice for my oldest, it's not the right choice for my son. And who knows what will work for our youngest. She's still a toddler, so there's time to figure it out. :)

[melissel]

Now, if your son was in middle school, my answer might be no. I think third grade would be all right, though. I suspect he will ultimately prefer homeschool. PS is not that fun.

 

:iagree: I think this is a very good point. I wouldn't transfer him in between 5th and 8th grades (unless it was unavoidable, of course--sometime you have to do what you have to do). If you were planning to do it, then do it for 4th. Otherwise, I'd wait until high school.

[roseyloxs]

Yes. I will let anyone of my children go to PS if they want to.

 

I think you could very easily let him go but also under the condition that it is a one year deal. After the year you will have a family meeting and discuss how it went and what will work best for the whole family. With this compromise he would get to see what public school was like but it can also be for just a limited time basis if that's what will work best for your family.

[Slipper]

Go while the stakes are low. :) Perhaps it will take the 'mystery' out of public school.

[Celia]

Yes, I would. I personally really enjoyed elementary school, and this it does offer some advantages that homeschooling doesn't. You can always beef up his education at home after school if you think it's not up to standards. If he develops problems behaviourally, take him out. I think it's worth the experience.

[3browneyedboys4me]

Is he really, truly miserable at home? Do you feel like it's hurting your relationship with him? For either of those two things, yes, I probably would if the school is decent. However, there would be much, MUCH conversation beforehand about the paramount importance of the quality of his education and how, even if he's having fun, you will bring him home if you see his education suffering (even if he doesn't see it).

 

If he's pretty happy at home, though, and is mainly just curious, no, I probably wouldn't.

 

I do believe he *really* want to experience ps. I think that he might resent me (at some point) for not allowing him to go and try it out. However, I've fought this thought for some time b/c I didn't think it was *enough* of a reason to consider ps. But, here we are...three yrs strong and the requests are still coming from him.

[jen3kids]

Yes, and I've done it!

 

Older ds was the reason we started homeschooling. He was homeschooled for 2 years in grades 3 and 4. It was not a good fit for us. Our relationship suffered. He is now in 9th grade and loves school, well, not loves it, but to him it is better than being at home.

 

Dd was homeschooled grades 1-6. She began at a local Montessori School in the late-middle part of 6th grade. She is thriving in their middle school. Local ps would not have worked for her, but this school is a perfect fit.

 

Younger ds has only been to school for 3 weeks in 4th grade. He wants to try again in the fall for middle school. He has applied for a special program. There is no pressure for him to go, or to stay if he gives it a try. I honestly don't think he's ready for middle school, but I'm willing to give it a chance.

He is the only one of my 3 whom I think will be ok in the local ps.

 

I think it's important to let them experience it if they want to and if it's a case of 'no harm done'.

[G5052]

Nope. If there were solid, academic reasons, I'd consider it.

 

Mine have been curious over the years, but never more than that and it has probably been 2-3 years since they've mentioned it. They have friends who are in the classroom and others who are homeschooled, and I think at this point like being homeschooled well enough that it doesn't come up any more.

[Trilliums]

I would lean towards letting him try out 4th grade ps. But, I would wait until closer to the beginning of the new school year to tell him.

[chepyl]

I would let my some try it in elementary school. Jr high....probably not. We do live in a good district.

[catz]

I thought you were going to say your oldest, and I was going to say, yep sure let him try it. For a 3rd grader? It would depends on many factors for me. For a competitive, peer driven kid it might not be a bad thing. My kids are kind of the opposite (happy to blend in despite high ability), so that's part of the reason it wouldn't be good for them.

 

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he changed his tune pretty fast after trying it out. I think if it's hurting your relationship and he's constantly miserable, that might be another good reason to try it.

[sewingmama]

I would let him. I would ask him his reasons and if they were "sound enough" I'd consider it. It doesn't have to be permanent if it doesn't work out.

 

Even if he is just simply curious - let him go and find out what it is all about. If he decides to come back home after the curiosity wears off the bonus is you won't have to listen to him asking to go to school anymore :D

[sassenach]

Not at that age. Somewhere around 7th grade, give or take, I would/have allowed it.

[K&Rs Mom]

My now-9yo was thinking about this last summer. I had her write down her reasons, both for and against, and she really did put some thought into it. We cleared up some misconceptions (like being in the same room as her friends doesn't mean she can just visit all day), and tried to make some changes in our homeschool to address some of her wants/needs. The plan was to re-evaluate in December, and if she still wanted to we'd let her try it at the semester change in January but she'd have to stay until the end of the year (not give up after two weeks). By that point she no longer wanted to, but at least she felt like she was heard and had some control, not just told what to do. My thinking was that if she's going to try ps, I'd rather it be before the middle school social drama (maybe not as big an issue for boys).

[3browneyedboys4me]

What are his reasons for wanting to go? Does he have good, valid, thought out reasons? Once you figure out his reasons is there another way to fulfil those needs?

 

My kids will not be going to Public School if I have anything to say about it. There are many MANY reasons for that (not just 1 or 2) I would not just allow public school. I would find other avenues to fulfil whatever he feels he is missing. Can he participate in PS sports and clubs? Find out. Here they can, but the PS fought with us at first. I had to show them the law regarding homeschoolers. Dd8th is in Band and Choir with PS and plays Volleyball with them. Dd4th does Volleyball and Basketball (they start in 4th here) and will start band next year when the 5th graders do.

 

Well, his reasons are as well thought out as any third graders! :lol:

I can probably do better by describing his personality:

~ highly organized, jumps up and does school right off the bat- highly motivated, loves sports, activities, people, achieving, competing, talking, talking (did I mention talking!?) sports, and showing off. :))

 

So, I keep him busy with school work as much as possible. He takes a drama/theatre class once a wk. This allows him to channel a LOT of his personality traits. He gets to have his own thing, perform, achieve, etc...

 

Our public schools do NOT allow for hs kids to participate in sports or classes. I have three school aged kids and I allow each of them 1 activity b/c that is all i can do. That alone is a LOT of running around with a two yr old. :001_huh:

[3browneyedboys4me]

Okay, so I'm hearing great things and you guys have me thinking one question:

 

what is a good reason for PS? What would your child have to say for you to think that they would/could benefit from the experience.?? I mentioned this situation to my friend and she said she couldn't think of a good reason for PS. :confused: That really made me think that I was looking at the situation all wrong. But, then, what if her kids never, ever asked or wanted to go? And, what might I be doing WRONG to make mine want to go? :glare: Then, I would go back to him, and HIS personality. He is completely different from my other older boys. He is nothing like them. So, this is his deal. I don't think there is a single. thing. I can do or say to make him not want to go. We've talked about it, I've added fun things to his day, I've given him more school subjects, I've tried my best to really keep him engaged and content, but I just think he isn't going to be happy until he branches out and tries school. And, I guess my biggest fear is....well, that he will LOVE it and not want to come back home. I think he might very well stay. :001_huh:

 

I guess I just never thought I would be in this position. I'm stumped as to how to handle it and the emotions that are involved in letting him go (if I choose to do that).

[Stellalarella]

My son has continued to ask for PS. We are entering our third year of his asking...

 

So, I'm just being completely curious here...would you allow your child to experience PS?

 

 

Our family had a very good public school experience. My oldest son went to a magnet public school for K-6. Another child attended that same school K-3. My third child attended for Kindergarten. We lived near the school and I was able to get to know the teachers. I got to know well-educated, totally dedicated, creative and morally guided professionals who truly loved teaching children. I got to know other parents from diverse backgrounds, ethnicity and religions who were all seeking a good education for their children. We got to start a movement in our school to clean up the dilapidated school grounds. Sadly, we got to experience how to deal with injustice and really bad behavior from school paraprofessionals. I didn't want it, but I showed my kids how to stand up for what is right. Who can put a price on that? My kids got to interact with children who believe differently than they do--not always a comfortable situation, but deeply valuable.

AND my kids learned to read and calculate. They actually got a really good education. They did!!

We're homeschooling now because we want to do so-for the experience and joy of it. Although I prefer the methods I am using to teach reading and other subjects over what they received at school, I know that we are not homeschooling out of fear of public school.

Whatever you choose, choose it with your whole heart, out of love. If a parent is making decisions for a child that are primarily based out of a worry or fear motive, I think that kids sense the fear.

 

Why not explore the options? Actually call and ask for a tour of your local school. Call up the PTA president and have a chat. Get to know some other parents at the school. I really recommend visiting at recess to see how lunch and recess are handled. Go more than once! Look up scores online to find out how this school is doing--but even as you look at scores, please know that your child and his motivations are the biggest part of what kind of education he'll earn. Talk to the teachers. Getting to know my children's teachers sold me on our school.

 

There are a lot of really sweet things about attending school. It's really wonderful to be part of a community. Yes, being in community at school takes lots of time and effort, but I thought it was totally worth it.

[Kathryn]

No, I wouldn't.

 

I agree with asking HIM to make a list of reasons he wants to go. My kid has begged to have candy for dinner every night for years--length of begging doesn't equal a good or well-thought-out idea. You need to hear exactly what it is he thinks he's missing, not what you think he may be missing. Then you need to evaluate whether those reasons override your reasons for homeschooling him.

 

I'd also plan before hand on what you'll do if he wants to come back mid-year. I've heard of people allowing the child to go to school, then to come back, and it becomes a viscous cycle of begging to go to one or the other when things aren't going the child's way.

[tex-mex]

It almost sounds like the OP's son would do well in a Performing Arts/Magnet style of school? Those are hard to find at that grade level. If he still wants the challenge in high school at a Magnet/IB school, I say yes. But he is very young at grade 3. :confused:

[Stellalarella]

Okay, so I'm hearing great things and you guys have me thinking one question:

 

what is a good reason for PS? .

 

1) Classroom community. If you are lucky, your child could have the blessing of experiencing diversity.

 

2) Children who learn well from a "teacher stands and explains or lectures" style. I have children in this category.

 

3) Art class. PE class. Choir. Band. We have not been able to replicate these strong PS experiences in our homeschool. Some homeschoolers make it work, but I do personally lament the loss for our family.

 

4) School community. Learning how to care for a school and being a part of a group bigger than oneself. Typically with a religious organization, a group of similarly minded people are coming together. I think it's great for families to find out what it is like to be members of a group with some diversity!

 

5) Kids who need special services. If we were in PS, I would have one of my kids in speech therapy. As it is, I am working with her on my own. Our other child that needs therapy is driven across town twice a week for services.

 

6) Wanting to work to build up a school instead of just whining about how bad public schools are.

 

7) JUST FOR THE EXPERIENCE OF IT. What's so wrong about trying something new? If the child already knows how to read, whole-language instruction won't ruin him now! :001_smile:

[3browneyedboys4me]

Wow...so you had them all in school and were quite happy with it, and then, you decided to pull them out for the experience of hs? I guess I just always thought hs is the right decision for so many different reasons. I've learned as I continue down this road hs'ing that my reasons only grow and deepen with the years. For me, at this point, it's just simply a life style. There is no one reason, but there are many reasons. Now, switching to the ps mindset just changes my whole idea of our lifestyle. lol. I think I might find the hardest part of it all dealing with both of these separate worlds....as one reality. I'm not sure how to have one child in ps and the others as home. That seems odd and wrong. I would feel like I'm leaving my third son out. i know this isn't accurate, but it's how i'm thinking right now. Does this make sense or am I just over-thinking the whole thing?

 

 

Our family had a very good public school experience. My oldest son went to a magnet public school for K-6. Another child attended that same school K-3. My third child attended for Kindergarten. We lived near the school and I was able to get to know the teachers. I got to know well-educated, totally dedicated, creative and morally guided professionals who truly loved teaching children. I got to know other parents from diverse backgrounds, ethnicity and religions who were all seeking a good education for their children. We got to start a movement in our school to clean up the dilapidated school grounds. Sadly, we got to experience how to deal with injustice and really bad behavior from school paraprofessionals. I didn't want it, but I showed my kids how to stand up for what is right. Who can put a price on that? My kids got to interact with children who believe differently than they do--not always a comfortable situation, but deeply valuable.

AND my kids learned to read and calculate. They actually got a really good education. They did!!

We're homeschooling now because we want to do so-for the experience and joy of it. Although I prefer the methods I am using to teach reading and other subjects over what they received at school, I know that we are not homeschooling out of fear of public school.

Whatever you choose, choose it with your whole heart, out of love. If a parent is making decisions for a child that are primarily based out of a worry or fear motive, I think that kids sense the fear.

 

Why not explore the options? Actually call and ask for a tour of your local school. Call up the PTA president and have a chat. Get to know some other parents at the school. I really recommend visiting at recess to see how lunch and recess are handled. Go more than once! Look up scores online to find out how this school is doing--but even as you look at scores, please know that your child and his motivations are the biggest part of what kind of education he'll earn. Talk to the teachers. Getting to know my children's teachers sold me on our school.

 

There are a lot of really sweet things about attending school. It's really wonderful to be part of a community. Yes, being in community at school takes lots of time and effort, but I thought it was totally worth it.

[SuperDad]

Yes. I will let anyone of my children go to PS if they want to.

 

I think you could very easily let him go but also under the condition that it is a one year deal. After the year you will have a family meeting and discuss how it went and what will work best for the whole family. With this compromise he would get to see what public school was like but it can also be for just a limited time basis if that's what will work best for your family.

 

Go while the stakes are low. :) Perhaps it will take the 'mystery' out of public school.

 

Yes, and I've done it!

 

I think it's important to let them experience it if they want to and if it's a case of 'no harm done'.

 

I would let him. I would ask him his reasons and if they were "sound enough" I'd consider it. It doesn't have to be permanent if it doesn't work out.

 

Even if he is just simply curious - let him go and find out what it is all about. If he decides to come back home after the curiosity wears off the bonus is you won't have to listen to him asking to go to school anymore :D

 

My now-9yo was thinking about this last summer. I had her write down her reasons, both for and against, and she really did put some thought into it. We cleared up some misconceptions (like being in the same room as her friends doesn't mean she can just visit all day), and tried to make some changes in our homeschool to address some of her wants/needs. The plan was to re-evaluate in December, and if she still wanted to we'd let her try it at the semester change in January but she'd have to stay until the end of the year (not give up after two weeks). By that point she no longer wanted to, but at least she felt like she was heard and had some control, not just told what to do. My thinking was that if she's going to try ps, I'd rather it be before the middle school social drama (maybe not as big an issue for boys).

 

Yes. One of my kids has already "sampled" ps and another is preparing to. There's no harm done if you do it at that age.

[JessReplanted]

No. We don't allow our kids to make those kinds of huge decisions themselves. Maybe it would be different if it was a high school age child - but definitely not a 3rd grader.

 

My son used to ask too. At this point though, we have drilled it into him that "Homeschooling is a privilege!" ;)

[Dustybug]

For our family, no we wouldn't allow it, but as others have said, I think it depends on your reasons for homeschooling.

[LittleIzumi]

Is there any possible way to let him sit in on classes for one day? Shadow another student?

[TranquilMind]

My son has continued to ask for PS. We are entering our third year of his asking...it just doesn't seem to go away. He really wants to go. I never thought this would be a problem. I never expected it- silly me! However, he does and now, I am wondering if I should just let him experience it.

 

Have any of you dealt with this before with your own kids? I have so many mixed emotions about it. I know that homeschooling is the right choice for many, many different reasons. But, does right make it the BEST choice for HIM.? He is extremely social, competitive, and I think he wants to be 'seen' with his own peer group. He just likes to be involved in so much. I do feel like he could be more stimulated, but I just can't provide that at home...and, I have too many children to run around and try to keep him active. Well, I guess that doesn't sound quite right, but I do have four children and the youngest is two and I'm not willing to run around all evening to keep him busy. So, what to do...what to do? We happen to live less than two miles from a very good elementary school and brand new 'good' middle school. *sigh* The elementary school ranks high in our district. I'm not sure about the middle school.

 

 

I guess i should add that he is in third grade this year. :) This has been going on since 1st grade. There has never been any doubt or change in his mind about it. He just simply wants to go and try it.

 

So, what would you do? I just need some guidance, or perspective? I'm feeling like this desire is just not ever going to go away for him. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!!!

 

So, I'm just being completely curious here...would you allow your child to experience PS?

After what I have just experienced with my one who went in order to study a particular subject offered there, absolutely NOT. I would make a different decision if I could do it all again.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Yep DS did that a few years ago(3rd grade). By November he was begging to stay home, by Christmas I gave in. DS has never even suggested going back.

 

DD is now in her 3rd grade year and made some noises about attending PS. Instead we got very involved with an active Co-op(2X per week). Haven't heard another peep about PS. She just wanted more socialization. What's nice about this co-op is that we no longer have to do science at home, and she gets her arty/crafty fix.

[joannqn]

Well, his reasons are as well thought out as any third graders! :lol:

I can probably do better by describing his personality:

~ highly organized, jumps up and does school right off the bat- highly motivated, loves sports, activities, people, achieving, competing, talking, talking (did I mention talking!?) sports, and showing off. :))

 

Does he have a realistic picture of public school in his head? What does he think will happen if he finishes his work before the other kids? What does he think will happen if he learns faster than his classmates? Does he understand how much play time there is? Does he know how much PE he'll get and what it will entail? Is he aware that he'll have homework, sometimes a lot of it, that he'll have to do even if he's tired?

[UmMusa]

Your son sounds a lot like mine. He went to kindergarten before we homeschooled him for the last few years. He never stopped begging to go back to school. Like your son, he is extremely social and competitive.

 

After much prayer, we sent him to a local Christian school a couple of weeks ago. It was the perfect choice for him. He's much happier, and he's learning a lot....without complaining. He doesn't even complain about homework.

 

I guess your decision depends on why you're homeschooling. I've never been one that believes homeschooling is the right choice for every child. My kids have done public school, homeschooling, and now Christian school. While homeschooling is the right choice for my oldest, it's not the right choice for my son. And who knows what will work for our youngest. She's still a toddler, so there's time to figure it out. :)

:iagree:

My 5th grade son sounds like your son. He wants more than what he's getting at home. I think our school district is a good one, and I pulled them from it 2+ years ago for religious/social reasons. I feel he's benefitted from being home these two years, and I am more comfortable sending him into the system knowing he's gotten a couple of years of homeschooling. My DD9 on the other hand bursts into tears at the mention of her going to public school, so I will happily keep her home.

[Stellalarella]

Wow...so you had them all in school and were quite happy with it, and then, you decided to pull them out for the experience of hs? I guess I just always thought hs is the right decision for so many different reasons. I've learned as I continue down this road hs'ing that my reasons only grow and deepen with the years. For me, at this point, it's just simply a life style. There is no one reason, but there are many reasons. Now, switching to the ps mindset just changes my whole idea of our lifestyle. lol. I think I might find the hardest part of it all dealing with both of these separate worlds....as one reality. I'm not sure how to have one child in ps and the others as home. That seems odd and wrong. I would feel like I'm leaving my third son out. i know this isn't accurate, but it's how i'm thinking right now. Does this make sense or am I just over-thinking the whole thing?

 

I think there is a time to actually go out and explore. It's very valuable to see something firsthand and work with the nitty gritty reality of a decision. If I am constantly thinking about something but not getting to a decision point, I know that I am not really "thinking" I am just "worrying." I think it would help you and your son to see firsthand what school is like. Does your son really understand that he will have homework AFTER school? My kids always did. K-6, 4 days a week. Does he know how much recess he'll get at ps? Does he know about music class and art class and how wonderful they can be? Does he know about how early he is going to have to get up in the morning, how much time carpooling takes, etc.

 

Also, would you be able to write down your five major family values on a sheet of paper? Would you be able to see if ps (and all the impact of time) fits into those values? Could it possibly add to your values? Is it going to be a major detractor?

 

I sent my third child to school a year too soon. She was a summer baby and I think she needed another year to "ripen." :) I pulled her out the next year so that I could put her on a better age track. The next year my son graduated from the school and as he was making considerations for middle school, he asked ME to homeschool him. I was thrilled to do so. At that point, we made the decision to homeschool all 3 school age children and eventually the 3 younger would also hs.

Can I be honest? I am glad my big kids went to PS because we got to invest in a community. We're not a part of that community now (except on volunteer day) and I miss it.

But I do LOVE homeschooling. I have a teaching degree and my heart feels so satisfied. My brain is seriously engaged in impactful work. My heart is excited to get up in the morning and teach the kids.

 

Would I just want to send my little kids back to PS? Well, it wouldn't be my first choice now because homeschooling is so good for us. I like phonics based reading instruction. I like that I can give my kids PLENTY of recess every day--something they would not get in our school district. But if they went to ps, there would be good things for them there, as well. If they went to PS, it could still fit in our family values and be an asset to our family.

[Ellie]

No, I wouldn't allow an 8yo to go to school.

 

If he keeps asking, perhaps part of the reason is that you have been unsure, and he senses it. You might look him in the eyeball and say, "Son, I love you very much, which is why you will NOT be going to school. Please do not keep asking me." And mean it.

 

If he were older, 11 or 12, I might consider it, but not an 8yo.

[3browneyedboys4me]

I do not think he understands what ps is all about. But, he says he does and he doesn't care about homework, getting up early, schedules, etc. But, he is also highly argumentative about things like this. The kind of child that often has to learn the hard way. ;)

 

 

 

Does he have a realistic picture of public school in his head? What does he think will happen if he finishes his work before the other kids? What does he think will happen if he learns faster than his classmates? Does he understand how much play time there is? Does he know how much PE he'll get and what it will entail? Is he aware that he'll have homework, sometimes a lot of it, that he'll have to do even if he's tired?

[Storm Bay]

My son has continued to ask for PS. We are entering our third year of his asking...it just doesn't seem to go away. He really wants to go. I never thought this would be a problem. I never expected it- silly me! However, he does and now, I am wondering if I should just let him experience it.

 

Have any of you dealt with this before with your own kids? I have so many mixed emotions about it. I know that homeschooling is the right choice for many, many different reasons. But, does right make it the BEST choice for HIM.? He is extremely social, competitive, and I think he wants to be 'seen' with his own peer group. He just likes to be involved in so much. I do feel like he could be more stimulated, but I just can't provide that at home...and, I have too many children to run around and try to keep him active. Well, I guess that doesn't sound quite right, but I do have four children and the youngest is two and I'm not willing to run around all evening to keep him busy. So, what to do...what to do? We happen to live less than two miles from a very good elementary school and brand new 'good' middle school. *sigh* The elementary school ranks high in our district. I'm not sure about the middle school.

 

 

I guess i should add that he is in third grade this year. :) This has been going on since 1st grade. There has never been any doubt or change in his mind about it. He just simply wants to go and try it.

 

So, what would you do? I just need some guidance, or perspective? I'm feeling like this desire is just not ever going to go away for him. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!!!

 

So, I'm just being completely curious here...would you allow your child to experience PS?

 

I'll get to what I'd do when my dc were 8 later on :). My eldest was in ps for K-2 as my dh was initiall opposed to ps. I didn't deal with this at age 8, but have dealt with it. I actually expelled my eldest from homeschool when she was 15 as all she did was argue & slowly meander through her work. Good choice for our entire family & she's getting straight As.

 

My middle one was begging to go to school & was middle school age. As at least one other person mentioned, there is no way I'd let my dc enter ps in middle school.m However, they moved gr 8 to ps, so she's now in the honours track there. I personally hope she comes home, but we'll see.

 

The challenge lies with my ds, 11, who is now asking to go. I"ve told him that he can try ps high school part time when he's old enough and that we'll see how it goes.

 

As for what I'd have done if my dc were 8, it would depend on were I was in my homeschooling journey & what I'd learned. While I certainly wouldn't do that for a dc under 8, I would consider letting a dc who is 8 or 9 try a year of ps if

a. this dc was socially fine (I have one who is socially quite awkward)

b. this dc was highly unlikely to be a bully magnet (that would be my middle dd, but she didn't ask until she was older as she always loved homeschooling)

c. the school had a good reputation

d. I could volunteer at the school if I chose to

 

However, I have to say that my final reason where I might even do it at middle school age at this point in my life was already written by melissel (quoted below):

 

Is he really, truly miserable at home? Do you feel like it's hurting your relationship with him? For either of those two things, yes, I probably would if the school is decent. However, there would be much, MUCH conversation beforehand about the paramount importance of the quality of his education and how, even if he's having fun, you will bring him home if you see his education suffering (even if he doesn't see it).

 

If he's pretty happy at home, though, and is mainly just curious, no, I probably wouldn't.

[3browneyedboys4me]

See, I think the opposite way. I do NOT want my 13yr old going b/c I think this is the time that they really get too much influence from their peers. I think I can keep a little more control in that area during elementary.

 

He is 9. And, he is quite mature.

 

 

 

No, I wouldn't allow an 8yo to go to school.

 

If he keeps asking, perhaps part of the reason is that you have been unsure, and he senses it. You might look him in the eyeball and say, "Son, I love you very much, which is why you will NOT be going to school. Please do not keep asking me." And mean it.

 

If he were older, 11 or 12, I might consider it, but not an 8yo.

[Storm Bay]

. But, he is also highly argumentative about things like this. The kind of child that often has to learn the hard way. ;)

Some dc are like that. Also, some will refuse to give in, so if you think that's the case & you do let your ds try ps, you may wish to act very supportive & positive about it without being too fake over it. Plus, he may actually love it, especially if he's a real extrovert.

[prairiebird]

Yes, I take things year by year. Right now, due to our circumstances, they are all in a public school. This would never be my personal choice and is done by necessity, however, I can see which kids are enjoying it and which kids are begging someone hires my husband so we can move and homeschool again.

 

In the future, my plans are to homeschool the ones asking for it, and if someone wants a "school" environment, I want to really explore the options in the area I live in. My dd8 seems to really love school, one could take it or leave it, and the other two cannot wait to homeschool again. For that daughter, I will likely see if she feels the same this fall, and then I will probably look into the private schools in the area (unless the public school is awesome- haven't had much luck in that.)

 

I think part of it for me is that I don't want a child to carry an anger with them over something like this as they grow up. If I'm keeping her home for my reasons I've discussed with DH, and she is thriving at her school, who am I doing it for exactly? It would be different if she became some sort of delinquent, but she could turn out like any number of kids that go though a school system and come out fine. She may end up wanting to go K-8 and decide to homeschool high school. Fine with me!

 

It's why I like the year-by-year evaluation. I think at the younger grades, especially, it's not as big of a deal to put them in for a year to let them see. My current 4th grader has only attended a 1/2 day kindergarten and now is in 4th grade. It's a good year for him to really solidify that he hates how the school day runs:lol:, and he can articulate the points he hates. (He likes to work on a subject until it's completion, take a break, cover the next subject- that just doesn't fly in school!)

[Jean in Newcastle]

The only thing that I can add to the conversation so far is that you need to count your own cost if he should go. You've said that you can't satisfy his social/creative desires/needs at home. Can you satisfy the requirements of public school? I'm not asking any of these questions with any "correct" answer in mind but I think they are worth thinking about.

 

If you sent him to school would you be able to take him to school? Pick him up? Would he be on the bus? What is the busing situation for this school district?

If you sent him to school would you be able to be involved in his homework?

 

Would you be able to be involved in school nights - curriculum nights, plays etc? Esp. for a child like your son, I think that going to a school with those creative outlets but not being able to participate or have you come see him might be a difficult thing.

 

Would you be able to be involved at all in the classroom? Not every mom does of course, but it can make the experience better for some kids.

[ByGrace3]

For our family, no I wouldn't. We homeschool for a variety of reasons...all of which cannot be found in a public school.

 

Is there a way he can take a class or two at the school? Our district offers that option.

 

Good luck!

 

:iagree:

[Storm Bay]

See, I think the opposite way. I do NOT want my 13yr old going b/c I think this is the time that they really get too much influence from their peers. I think I can keep a little more control in that area during elementary.

 

He is 9. And, he is quite mature.

 

I thnk that you are right in many ways, and that for many dc this is true. Our experience so far has been the opposite. I had a harder time stopping influence with my eldest when she was little than now. It really depends on the dc at 13, and I have to admit that I am more hesitant about sending my ds than I was about my dd at 13. However, I pulled my dd out at 8, and as I said before, I might put someone in at 8 under certain circumstances.

 

My dd has been influenced to some degree (eg "everyone else gets to do such and such" or "has such and such") but so far I've been able to handle it. Plus, she's more reserved, observant & watchful than I was, so she hasn't yet got anyone she's trying to do anything with after school, although she has a good group of dc she has lunch with. Again, she's in all honours classes so is with motivated learners.

[3browneyedboys4me]

These are excellent questions and I think the reason I truly hesitate. Honestly, I think it would be fine. I really do. But, this is the part that *I* don't like:

1. accountability to school district

2. scheduled lives b/c of 1 child- restricted vacations and days b/c we have to be there at ___time and pick up at ____time.

3. time- volunteering. I would want to go once a wk, be a part of everything, do everything, etc.

 

 

Now, I say I don't like the idea of the above things. And, I don't. But, I am open to the possibility I might like it. I don't know. I feel like it's hard enough to just hs the kids, have a toddler, and do the other things we have to do in day-laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. But, you never really know anything for sure until you try it. So, I am open to trying it. I realize it might make for one miserable year (for me)!But, always,always want to do the right thing for my son.

 

The school is right up the road from our house so that will not be an issue. I'm thankful for that.

 

So, this might be what I need to really think about- can I do what needs to be done at a PS with everything I have on me now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

The only thing that I can add to the conversation so far is that you need to count your own cost if he should go. You've said that you can't satisfy his social/creative desires/needs at home. Can you satisfy the requirements of public school? I'm not asking any of these questions with any "correct" answer in mind but I think they are worth thinking about.

 

If you sent him to school would you be able to take him to school? Pick him up? Would he be on the bus? What is the busing situation for this school district?

If you sent him to school would you be able to be involved in his homework?

 

Would you be able to be involved in school nights - curriculum nights, plays etc? Esp. for a child like your son, I think that going to a school with those creative outlets but not being able to participate or have you come see him might be a difficult thing.

 

Would you be able to be involved at all in the classroom? Not every mom does of course, but it can make the experience better for some kids.

[prairiebird]

T

 

If you sent him to school would you be able to take him to school? Pick him up? Would he be on the bus? What is the busing situation for this school district?

If you sent him to school would you be able to be involved in his homework?

 

.

 

Yes yes yes this times a million. Our kids have to be driven to school and picked up every day. It sucks. I make my husband do it all because it was his parents' demand that we enroll them in school while we stay here. Therefore, he gets to have all the 'fun' with traffic. School events are another big thing, but we've had no problems going to those. My son ended up picking up an instrument that he would have never tried on his own too. That was a big deal for him and should be easy to find lessons for when he homeschools next year.

 

 

ETA: I should probably add that I'm still afterschooling with my kids- we do SOTW 2, nature study (since science is basically nothing there) together, and then each child has a unit study of their choosing that we work on together on days off, weekends, non-busy afterschool days. I wanted to keep them in the mindset that learning can happen all the time, not just during certain hours or in a building.

Edited February 19, 2012 by prairiebird

[3browneyedboys4me]

:iagree:

 

I'm trying this. :001_smile:

 

 

 

Some dc are like that. Also, some will refuse to give in, so if you think that's the case & you do let your ds try ps, you may wish to act very supportive & positive about it without being too fake over it. Plus, he may actually love it, especially if he's a real extrovert.

[3browneyedboys4me]

Yes, this is the big question. I don't think i will know until I try. However, like I mentioned, the school is super close- less than 2miles. :001_smile:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes yes yes this times a million. Our kids have to be driven to school and picked up every day. It sucks. I make my husband do it all because it was his parents' demand that we enroll them in school while we stay here. Therefore, he gets to have all the 'fun' with traffic. School events are another big thing, but we've had no problems going to those. My son ended up picking up an instrument that he would have never tried on his own too. That was a big deal for him and should be easy to find lessons for when he homeschools next year.