4 year old complaining about doing schoolwork

[ksmiles]

I usually get whining and complaining every time I try to pull out any type of schoolwork. He's doing well for his age in math and phonics - so I have taken a break from that for a while, and we have just been working on handwriting and CC memory work. But it seems like all he wants to do is play and he has no interest in schoolwork at all.

He is starting K in the fall and while I'm not pushing it now, I think I need to get him a little more motivated.

My question is: what should I do when my ds groans and complains about doing school at home? I definitely fall into the more "strict" parenting philosophy, so while I am interested in making school fun for him, I will not cater to his every whim. Some things he is just going to have to do, kwim? Just curious how other parents have handled this issue.

 

Thanks!

[kristinannie]

Honestly, school at age 4 is totally optional in our house. My 4 year old usually chooses to come to school since she sees her older brother doing it, but somedays she doesn't want to. Often I don't want her to because it makes the day go more slowly, but she usually wants to. I can understand wanting your child to get more motivated (I am dealing with that a little bit with my 5 year old right now), but at age 4, I would really just be relaxed about school. If he was in pre-K, he would mostly be doing crafts, playtime, music, snack, etc.

 

BTW, have you tried Miquon for math? That is a great program for 4 year olds. My son loved playing with the c-rods.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

Honestly, school at age 4 is totally optional in our house. My 4 year old usually chooses to come to school since she sees her older brother doing it, but somedays she doesn't want to. Often I don't want her to because it makes the day go more slowly, but she usually wants to. I can understand wanting your child to get more motivated (I am dealing with that a little bit with my 5 year old right now), but at age 4, I would really just be relaxed about school. If he was in pre-K, he would mostly be doing crafts, playtime, music, snack, etc.

 

 

 

:iagree: If my 4yo doesn't want to do school work one day she doesn't have to. Of course, she's the one who is sad when we don't have time for her work. Even my almost-6yo ds gets the day off when he's not feeling well or is grumpy. For ds, since he's in Kindergarten, *I* make the decision as to whether or not he has the day off.

Edited February 2, 2012 by Lisa in the UP of MI

[lemonade2122]

If you really want him doing school at this age then I would suggest math and phonics only. Anything beyond this and you run the risk of making him view school as a chore before he's really even started. Kids at this stage are still absorbing tons of knowledge through play and everyday life.

[stripe]

More art, more science, more reading interesting books. Learning is fun. if young kids hate something, oftentimes that means I've removed the naturally interesting things from it.

[mom2boys030507]

For our oldest school was optional at 4. He had no one else to see doing school and wasn't all that interested. On the other hand, I still did some things with him. One things about taking a break is that alot can change in just a few months. One thing that has worked is I just scheduled thing. So certain times were reading time - he would get to chose who read first. At another time it was art - I would see what we could make out of shapes or other math ideas. I really think at this age it is about setting a rough schedule and having fun. You have alot of time for him to learn that some things in life are not fun.

[NotAVampireLvr]

More art, more science, more reading interesting books. Learning is fun. if young kids hate something, oftentimes that means I've removed the naturally interesting things from it.

 

:iagree:

 

you also might need to switch up throughout the week... more learning through games... more stuff using manipulatives, etc. What programs are you using for him? Find things that will supplement those rather than working on those specific books all the time.

 

Its one thing to be a strict parent - I'm pretty hardcore myself when it comes to getting stuff done, but even the inexperienced homeschooler in me knows I'm going to need to be flexible so that my kids don't loathe school. I also don'y want to fall apart because they aren't doing what I expect of them.

[boscopup]

My oldest resisted school at 4, so I stopped. He then taught himself to read and do first grade level math. He learned way more when I got out of his way. He was not ready for formal school at 4.

 

I'm a strict parent also, but I believe at age 4, playing is more important than school.

 

Interestingly, my resistant 4 year old was teachable at age 5. You have 7-8 months of maturity to happen before you start K, and K is pretty light. It's meant to be an intro to school. You don't need an intro to an intro to school. :) Use your K year to prepare him for first grade. Let him play while he's preK.

[meggie]

At four, I would just put the books away when he's done. I still do this for Pigby who's 6 and in K. When you are ready to start kindergarten, I would start by making one subject mandatory, let him pick reading, writing, or math to do that day. Then once he's used to doing one subject a day, make two subjects mandatory but still let him choose. Then move on to three. For kindergarten, the three R's are the only ones that should be "mandatory" everything else is optional. If he'd rather do something like coloring or playing with Play-doh instead of writing, I would let him do that. He's 4 and has 13 years of education ahead of him. You don't need to force him quite yet.

[Elizabeth in MN]

I agree with what everyone has said - school at four is optional. Here is an article a friend wrote several years ago. I personally know all five of her children and can say that they are well educated and great people to be around -

http://www.magicalchildhood.com/articles/4yo.htm

[ksmiles]

Sorry if I wasn't clear before - We are a part of a CC community -so he is expected to make some effort in learning the memory work each week and that is basically all he does with a little HWoT, which he actually enjoys.

I don't push him to do more than that. However, with Kindergarten coming up in the fall - he will be 5, and hopefully ready for more.

So, for the CC memory work - that is what he complains about doing. And I don't know - he complains, but then I play the catchy little songs and he ends up doing it and gets it and then he is proud to tell Daddy what he has learned that week. I just get the initial, "Uggh, I don't want to!" and I was wondering if that's normal...

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I usually get whining and complaining every time I try to pull out any type of schoolwork. He's doing well for his age in math and phonics - so I have taken a break from that for a while, and we have just been working on handwriting and CC memory work. But it seems like all he wants to do is play and he has no interest in schoolwork at all.

He is starting K in the fall and while I'm not pushing it now, I think I need to get him a little more motivated.

My question is: what should I do when my ds groans and complains about doing school at home? I definitely fall into the more "strict" parenting philosophy, so while I am interested in making school fun for him, I will not cater to his every whim. Some things he is just going to have to do, kwim? Just curious how other parents have handled this issue.

 

Thanks!

 

Every single thing in your sig concerning his curriculum is designed for children at least a year older.

 

I am very, very strict, I don't cater to my children, they all do WTM on steroids...but not until age 5-7.

 

A four-year-old should only be doing as much academic work as he finds to be fun. Some of mine though it was great fun to read and learn about math at four, so we did. Others loved to be cuddled and read to, but their idea of fun mostly revolved around the backyard. So we cuddled, read, sang, and talked, but otherwise let the little ones play if that's what they wanted to do.

 

You can maximize your child's time during each level of his development but you can't force a leap. You'll probably have a much easier row to hoe if you just wait and do things when he's ready instead of when you're ready.

 

I advise you to reconnect with your little guy and just let him be little. The relationship you forge now is more important than whether he is doing kindergarten work at four. If things are going well, and he's happy and curious, back up to typical age-appropriate learning and see how it goes.

[SorrelZG]

I agree with what everyone has said - school at four is optional. Here is an article a friend wrote several years ago. I personally know all five of her children and can say that they are well educated and great people to be around -

http://www.magicalchildhood.com/articles/4yo.htm

 

 

Wonderful link! Thank-you for sharing it. I loved this quote at the end: "What does a 4 year old need? Much less than we realize, and much more."

[2_girls_mommy]

I think that is pretty normal at all ages. The not wanting to get started I mean. Of course they would rather play and run around, but once you get it started if he is enjoying it that is good. I don't know that we can ever get them to come in and say 'oh goodie. Its time to stop playing and do schoolwork' even if it is fun schoolwork. I think the only things mine feel that way about are our P.E. curric and occasionally art and music. The rest, well, they do, they learn, they may even like it. But in general they would rather not quit what they are doing to start it.

Edited February 2, 2012 by 2_girls_mommy

[Momma H]

Agreed, at 4 school is optional. I have found that in my home, my kids attitudes can be turned around completely using chocolate chips. Now, understand, I don't ever give them sugar until after dinner normally. But I knew my (now 6 year old) was going to be one who would always just want to play. I decided to sweeten the deal (pun intended) by telling him that if he had a good attitude and did his very best work he can earn 10 chocolate chips a day. It worked! I know it is bribery and seems kind of pathetic but he now loves school and is succeeding at it. It does not require cc's any more but it got him to see doing school as a positive thong right at the beginning. I figured it was better than the clenched teeth feeling we were both getting over the whole issue. I also kept it short and fun. At that age I was more concerned with cultivating a love of learning and a good attitude about school and, by gum, chocolate chips did the trick. I do it with my current 4 year old and it is working too. Of course, they learn that they can't have candy forever but by then, they like school anyway.

[ktgrok]

4 is too young for compulsory school for a boy especially! They do not have the fine motor skills and what not at that age. I think you are better to wait a year then try again.

[WeeBeaks]

My 4yo chooses to do school with her brothers. They do workboxes, so I got her boxes also, little clip lid ones. I put a couple Rod and Staff workbooks alternating with her fun things in there. The excitement for her is what might be in those boxes each day. Would fun "surprises" help your son?

 

Yesterday for example she had her Funnix which she LOVES with one worksheet for that, and Rod and Staff. She has 12 boxes total so the others had a little counting game with M&Ms, a craft (make a mail pouch), Dot a Dot markers, some lacing cards, 2 or 3 books at one per box that I read aloud to her and so forth. A big part of her fun is it is slightly different each day.

 

Would it work to mix it up if your son likes that style? My oldest likes his routine the same in and out each day, so I realize not all kids would thrive on a surprise.

[Storm Bay]

I usually get whining and complaining every time I try to pull out any type of schoolwork. He's doing well for his age in math and phonics - so I have taken a break from that for a while, and we have just been working on handwriting and CC memory work. But it seems like all he wants to do is play and he has no interest in schoolwork at all.

He is starting K in the fall and while I'm not pushing it now, I think I need to get him a little more motivated.

My question is: what should I do when my ds groans and complains about doing school at home? I definitely fall into the more "strict" parenting philosophy, so while I am interested in making school fun for him, I will not cater to his every whim. Some things he is just going to have to do, kwim? Just curious how other parents have handled this issue.

 

Thanks!

 

I would only do school with a 4 year old who likes it and I definitely fall into the strict parent category. Like any activity, starting too early with child who isn't interested backfires.

[blondeviolin]

If it's just memory work, I would just play it ALL THE TIME and make a game out of who can say it best - him or you?

 

I have a four-year-old boy and there is no way he is ready to start formal work. He's stuck at that awkward place where he knows his letter sounds and knows how to count, but he is NOT ready for phonics OR math. What he is ready for is getting used to being read to ALL. THE. TIME. Right now, that is my biggest focus for him.

 

Just because he's not ready does not mean he's not smart. It just means you're choosing to let him develop and let the learning be a bit easier.

[Ellie]

How to get him more "motivated" to do what?

 

He's just 4. I can't imagine any sort of Official School Stuff that a 4yo would in any way be required to do.

 

IMO, the best thing you could do would be to put away anything that looks like a worksheet or schoolwork of any kind.

[ScoutTN]

He's 4! Let him play! He'll learn plenty from imaginative, creative playing!

Legos, paint, play outside, do puzzles, dance to fun music, read books he wants to read, race hotwheels cars, dress up as pirates, cook something......

 

He has all the rest of his life to do formal school work. He's 4. Enjoy it. Don't make him be 7 now!

[stripe]

Sorry if I wasn't clear before - We are a part of a CC community -so he is expected to make some effort in learning the memory work each week and that is basically all he does with a little HWoT, which he actually enjoys.

I don't push him to do more than that. However, with Kindergarten coming up in the fall - he will be 5, and hopefully ready for more.

 

 

That's in, what, seven months, right? That's a long time.

 

Read Ruth Beechick's 3 Rs books for ideas about learning without workbooks or "pulling out" things that make him scream "ugh!"

[twoxcell]

4 is too young for compulsory school for a boy especially! They do not have the fine motor skills and what not at that age. I think you are better to wait a year then try again.

:iagree:

I would drop CC until he is at least 5-6. At this age playing together, reading aloud, and plenty of nature time is the most important.

[SorrelZG]

I usually get whining and complaining every time I try to pull out any type of schoolwork.

 

but then I play the catchy little songs and he ends up doing it and gets it and then he is proud to tell Daddy what he has learned that week.

 

So .. this makes it sound like he doesn't whine and complain about the songs so why not just do those?

[breadnbutter]

I'm with the PPs about not requiring schoolwork of a four year old, however that doesn't mean you can't encourage it. Usually at this age they need an incentive to exit their playworld. So if you really want him to be working on something, try rewarding him with something special for spending a few minutes with you. Or maybe make a chart where he checks the box every time he says his memory work, or writes his name, sits for a story, does a page of opgtr. As the years go by, you'll know when it's time to be more of a stickler about things.

 

Also "school" doesn't need to be in the morning. It might be easier to do stories, reading, and memorywork in the evening, when they'll take any excuse to stay up later :) Sometimes it's about picking the right time.

[FairProspects]

I understand wanting to do the habit training, even if it is not school work. Do you have a morning devotion or read-aloud time or something? You could use that time to build the habits you want to see in K, like sitting still, listening, answering questions, etc. You can definitely train behavior that will pay off during school, before dc are the age need to do school.

[ksmiles]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I think the overwhelming view is to let him be 4 and play as much as he wants. It's just hard because he is my firstborn and I'm not sure how much is too much, too soon.

 

That being said...I don't think I overwork him at all... I mean, it's not like I sit him down for an hour and make him do schoolwork every day. All the stuff in my siggy we tried, but never finished this year. We were doing Saxon K, but that wasn't the format I wanted for preschool - too structured and boring for me since most of the stuff I do with him in everyday life (counting, money, time, etc.). I started OPGTR with him, but that got too difficult, so we just stopped and I continue reading aloud to him.

 

All I make him do is 15 minutes a day of memory work - rote memorization of a history sentence, math facts, sometimes science or latin, if it's easy. He likes the other stuff he does - actually loves HWoT, and enjoys doing the map facts, like states and capitals. That's it! So please don't judge me and think I'm drilling my son endlessly...I'm not. But since he is a part of CC, it is something he is expected to do, and the tutor reviews the info with him in class every week, so he kind of has to know it.

 

My original complaint was that he whines and complains whenever I pull out the schoolwork (Foundations guide). Getting started seems to be the hurdle, because once we start it, he's fine. And like I said before - it's only 15 minutes. And some other posters did acknowledge that happens with their dc as well. That's what I was questioning...and that's where I feel like I'm strict because I tell him he has to do this. But all the previous posts are making me think twice about it. Is this really too much for him? Maybe it is since he's complaining about starting it, but he complains about having to clear the table, or wash his hands before dinner, and he doesn't get out of doing those things.

 

Thanks again for reading and responding!

[NanceXToo]

Why the big rush? He's not going to be little forever. He's got an entire lifetime ahead of him for academic pursuits. This time of young childhood is already so fleeting, why waste a precious moment of it struggling with whether an unwilling four year old should be doing seatwork? Let him play, spend time with you, create, imagine, explore, go outside, do chores alongside you, daydream, make believe, do physical things. Forget about a curriculum meant for a kid a year or two older. He'll get there before you know it.

 

When he's grown and you're looking back on this fleeting precious time, do you think you're more likely to say, Gee, I wish I'd pushed more worksheets when he was four? Or, Gee, I wish we just played together more when he was four? Think about it, because you can never get this time back once it's gone.

[NotAVampireLvr]

Can you drop CC until next year? (is that Classical Conversations?) I'm not sure about the membership, but if he's not ready, he's not ready.

 

My only other suggestion would be to break that 15 minutes up in much smaller intervals throughout the day. Sometimes kids at 4 are just not ready to do that kind of thing. I know my 4 y.o. isn't. If I had him doing memory verses he'd run screaming to the hills right now. He does HWOT, but he doesn't know he's doing it because its all the "fun stuff" right now.

 

I think people are just concerned that you are going to turn him off to learning or you'll get burnt out from trying. There is a ton of experience on this board and most of these people have btdt.

[ssavings]

I'm pretty low-key about school at 4, but if you want to encourage him, can you adapt it so that he's not doing worktexts and things that make him complain?

We use the Montessori wooden alphabet alot, and tiny objects/pictures for them to spell. We started off with CVC words, and once those were mastered, we added objects with more complex names. My kids enjoy the play based application, and I still have control over what they learn (ie, if I want to work on 'sh' sounds, I put a baby shoe, a shell, etc in the basket of objects. For silent e, we put in pictures of a cake, cane, a lake, etc.).

For handwriting improvement, we do lots of lacing/tracing/etc, and they draw letters in sand. Its not true handwriting, but they mastered the letter shapes and fine motor skills, so moving to writing hasnt been difficult for my DD5.

For math, they love math games, puzzles, manipulatives, and real life math stories (1-100 connect the dots, the Kumon number games 1-120 book, teddy bear math, pattern blocks, geometric solids, books like "Two ways to count to ten").

 

Its basic, and a departure from the classical education tradition, but by gradually changing out the fun stuff to more classical, its been a pretty seamless transition for my kids. They get engaged and want to learn...

[ksmiles]

I did like the chocolate chips idea... that just might work! Maybe I will try that :)

[Lang Syne Boardie]

ksmiles, I have never really understood why making him brush his teeth is appropriate but making him do his memory work is not, but it's just true. I think it must have to do with the invisible intricacies of a child's development that I don't really understand...

 

But going on my experience, I think the chores, the hygiene, and the daily routines prepare him for the academic work that seems so simple to us but really is a totally different kind of challenge to a little one.

 

I don't judge you. We all do this dance of evaluating our own children all the time, and it doesn't get all that much easier when they are older. And certainly, it is hardest with the firstborn, as you've said.

 

I'm glad you've joined these boards and I hope you'll stick around. There are lots of parents of 3-4yo's here who are exactly where you are right now, and lots of people further down the road to help and inspire. Welcome to the boards!

 

As far as CC goes, you have three options. You can just pull him b/c he's too little, or you can force him to learn those songs come hell or high water, or there's the middle ground, #3: Let him skate along, doing as much as he reasonably can but letting the whole thing lose some importance in your own eyes. I'm sure he's not the only 4yo struggling.

 

Option #3 keeps your foot in the door if you're pretty sure you want a long-term relationship with this CC group. The summer break will be just what you all need, and you will be amazed how much your little guy will grow and change in 7-8 months.

[Ellie]

Thank you all so much for your responses. I think the overwhelming view is to let him be 4 and play as much as he wants. It's just hard because he is my firstborn and I'm not sure how much is too much, too soon.

 

That being said...I don't think I overwork him at all... I mean, it's not like I sit him down for an hour and make him do schoolwork every day. All the stuff in my siggy we tried, but never finished this year. We were doing Saxon K, but that wasn't the format I wanted for preschool - too structured and boring for me since most of the stuff I do with him in everyday life (counting, money, time, etc.). I started OPGTR with him, but that got too difficult, so we just stopped and I continue reading aloud to him.

 

All I make him do is 15 minutes a day of memory work - rote memorization of a history sentence, math facts, sometimes science or latin, if it's easy. He likes the other stuff he does - actually loves HWoT, and enjoys doing the map facts, like states and capitals. That's it! So please don't judge me and think I'm drilling my son endlessly...I'm not. But since he is a part of CC, it is something he is expected to do, and the tutor reviews the info with him in class every week, so he kind of has to know it.

 

My original complaint was that he whines and complains whenever I pull out the schoolwork (Foundations guide). Getting started seems to be the hurdle, because once we start it, he's fine. And like I said before - it's only 15 minutes. And some other posters did acknowledge that happens with their dc as well. That's what I was questioning...and that's where I feel like I'm strict because I tell him he has to do this. But all the previous posts are making me think twice about it. Is this really too much for him? Maybe it is since he's complaining about starting it, but he complains about having to clear the table, or wash his hands before dinner, and he doesn't get out of doing those things.

 

Thanks again for reading and responding!

If he's complaining when you take it out, then yes, it's too much for him.

 

Complaining about chores is different. He has to do those no matter what. It could even be that if the Official School Stuff goes away, he'll quit complaining about everything else, as well.

Edited February 2, 2012 by Ellie

[momto2Cs]

More art, more science, more reading interesting books. Learning is fun. if young kids hate something, oftentimes that means I've removed the naturally interesting things from it.

 

:iagree: Read fun books to him, go on nature walks, do arts and crafts. Have lots of fun with it!

 

ETA: Okay, I just read your response. I was totally the same way with my first - worried that I wasn't doing enough, etc. Backing off and giving it a break worked well for us.

 

Question - do you sit at a table to do everything? Maybe cuddling up on a couch together would work. He could always do his work on a clipboard then, which is a technique I use even with my 8 and 10 year olds!

Edited February 2, 2012 by momto2Cs

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I agree 4 is young, but you know your dc. That being said- is there any way you could turn the memorizing into a game? Also, I would do math games with him (thinking Right Start, Miquon) more hands on kind of things. There are also phonics games, http://www.starfall.com

 

At this age you really want to make school fun so that later on he does not get burned out at a young age! At 4,5, 6 even some 7 year olds school should be more discovery based. Adding in abunch of fun with little academics.

 

A few ideas to turn the memory into fun-- could you sequence it? Cut out each word and read them to him out of order then have him help you put them in order? That way he would learn the verses. Or you could sing them to a song (any real song or made up song-- just use the tune of the song to the words of the verse)

[Farrar]

For me, part of the way I combat whining is by only assigning things (school, chores or life stuff) that my kids are ready to do. That builds the trust that what I'm asking is important and achievable. I think the situation you describe is normal, but the number one reason to dial it back is so that you don't set up a combative homeschool before you've even started kindergarten. I'm a bit confused as to why CC is so mandatory for a 4 yo.

[lewelma]

the number one reason to dial it back is so that you don't set up a combative homeschool before you've even started kindergarten.

 

:iagree:

[FairProspects]

I'm a bit confused as to why CC is so mandatory for a 4 yo.

 

I really wanted to do CC when ds 1 was 4 because it was one of the few places you could start building community with other homeschoolers at that age. All the other co-ops wouldn't allow you in until your oldest child was 7.

 

That said, once I looked at CC, I realized there was no way it would work for my 4 y.o. It was far too structured for him at that age and would have been nothing but a battle. I absolutely understand wanting a homeschooling activity to belong to and begin though.

[twoxcell]

All I make him do is 15 minutes a day of memory work - rote memorization of a history sentence, math facts, sometimes science or latin, if it's easy. He likes the other stuff he does - actually loves HWoT, and enjoys doing the map facts, like states and capitals. That's it! So please don't judge me and think I'm drilling my son endlessly...I'm not. But since he is a part of CC, it is something he is expected to do, and the tutor reviews the info with him in class every week, so he kind of has to know it.

This is the part I don't get? Why is a 4 year old in CC. If he isn't 5 until the fall in most states he wouldn't even be K until fall 2013? I'm all for habit training but try not to go overboard with a 4 year old boy. Even if it is for 15 minutes it can be too much sometimes. I know how it goes with the oldest child though. I regret pushing my ds to some extent at that age.

[Rbsmrter]

My DD (4) felt the same way about CC work. She does quite a bit of other work at home that's tailored to an older age range (I realize that's not the popular view here, but it fits her particular needs) , but CC is the only thing she complains about. We ended up leaving our CC community and choosing to do the memory work at home. Rather than expecting her to memorize everything in a week, we often spend 2 to 4 weeks on a single CC week. We spend a lot of time reading living books and exploring the subjects she's memorizing. We've also made a game out of memorizing the history cards and memorize them as a family. She gets a big kick out of quizzing me and my husband. Since she is young, I feel like we have the luxury of taking twice the amount of time to memorize a year of work. It isn't high pressure, but I do expect her to put some effort forth. I totally understand having high standards, but also wanting to make sure your kids are enjoying the learning process. I find that the more we actually explore the material the easier it is for her to memorize and the more likely she is to want to memorize it.

 

Check out these lapbooks:

 

http://www.wisdomandrighteousness.com/resources/cclapbooks/

 

And check out this website:

 

http://www.thecorkums.com/

 

There was a thread a couple of days ago about CC websites that listed some great options, I just cant find it.

[wapiti]

All I make him do is 15 minutes a day of memory work - rote memorization of a history sentence, math facts, sometimes science or latin, if it's easy. He likes the other stuff he does - actually loves HWoT, and enjoys doing the map facts, like states and capitals. That's it! So please don't judge me and think I'm drilling my son endlessly...I'm not. But since he is a part of CC, it is something he is expected to do, and the tutor reviews the info with him in class every week, so he kind of has to know it.

 

I don't mean to be a downer, but math facts would not be something I'd want to work on by rote memorization, especially not at that age. (There are schools of thought on this, but in any case, actually doing math might be a lot more fun.)

[Farrar]

I really wanted to do CC when ds 1 was 4 because it was one of the few places you could start building community with other homeschoolers at that age. All the other co-ops wouldn't allow you in until your oldest child was 7.

 

That said, once I looked at CC, I realized there was no way it would work for my 4 y.o. It was far too structured for him at that age and would have been nothing but a battle. I absolutely understand wanting a homeschooling activity to belong to and begin though.

 

Yes - that I can really understand. We spent the year my boys were 4 yo really making strong ties to the homeschool community - solidifying friendships and so forth. It was social time well spent because now at 7 yo, my kids have had the same peer group around them more or less since they were 4 yo. That's been important to us - much more important than any of the "academic" games and occasional work we did at that age.

[Scuff]

He's 4. Don't kill his love of learning now. You'll regret it later. Find ways to make it funa dn keep it short and sweet.

[Scuff]

When mine were that age we'd do memory by chanting or singing it over and over while they ran around the room like crazy. They loved it.

 

Eta- if I had my ds's early education to do over, the only thing I'd have him write was handwriting and what he enjoyed (math).

 

eTA again- i doubt anyone is judging you. I know i'm not. We've just BTDT and have seen the results in our own mistakes with our own children.

Edited February 3, 2012 by Scuff

[JKKJ04]

I just wanted to chime in here, I have a 4.5 year old girl, she is my first and we are part of CC and I am a tutor for the 5/6 year olds. First, by personality I am pretty laid back so is our "school" time. We review memory work at home by listening to the cd while in the car or doing other things. I rarely pull out my guide anymore. About the only thing we do is the timeline with a "book". Make review fun, have him recite/repeat in a different voice. Play tic tac toe, he gets to go after saying the memory work. Think of other fun ways to review. Maybe only review one subject at a time, doing that throughout the day. I think cc is great for 4 year olds, it exposes them to a group setting, having fun, and the things they glean are amazing. I, as a tutor, do not expect them to get it all. I realize the kids are young. If you are feeling pressure from your tutor I would talk with her. I know my dds tutor doesn't expect them to know everything. I just believe it is an added bonus :) I have recently moved to focusing on the 3 Rs myself and having fun. I don't want to miss this time with my dd. hope that helps, as a mom in your same boat I understand where you are coming from, feel free to pm me :)

Edited February 3, 2012 by JKKJ04

[meggie]

 

I don't judge you. We all do this dance of evaluating our own children all the time, and it doesn't get all that much easier when they are older. And certainly, it is hardest with the firstborn, as you've said.

:iagree:Now I know why my older sister was always complaining about being the oldest; it's really rough being the guinea pig for your parents.

 

I know absolutely nothing about CC, but is there any way to make the memory work fun? Could you have him say it while he's doing jumping jacks or running around or bouncing between bits of paper on the floor? Could you write it on the white board and say it, then have him erase 2-3 words and say it again, repeat.

 

What is your purpose for having him in CC? To find friends? To get an introduction to a school type setting? If it's for any reason other than academics, I wouldn't worry at all about the academic side of it. What will happen if he doesn't get it? Will he fail? Will he be kicked out? If neither of those two will happen, I wouldn't worry about it. I have Pigby going to a charter school for one day a week so that he can play with other kids and have a little school experience. I honestly don't give a fig about the academics he does there. I know they do math and reading and some other fun stuff, but that's not why I have him there, so I don't worry about it.

[Kim in SouthGa]

First, :grouphug: I haven't read all the responses, but I'll start anyway. I agree that asking him for 15 minutes of structure is not too much. Could you listen to the memory work while in the car? Or just have it on as background noise while he is playing? I like the idea of practicing while doing jumping jacks or hopscotch. My 11ds still needs a ball in his hands all the time-perhaps you could play catch? Or offer candy/stickers for every time he memorizes something successfully?

Good luck. I completely understand the concept of wanting him to do what is expected at CC. Too often in programs like these, I have seen parents just let their kids show up and require nothing at home. I think it is a valuable character trait that you are teaching. :)

[crl]

I'll echo the thought that you should let him be 4. I don't believe CC is meant for pre-K. In general, boys tend to lag behind girls in school readiness. (I understand there are exceptions to every rule.)

You can continue to teach him things through games and play, but memorizing things that have no meaning for him doesn't sound like fun. Imagine yourself being made to memorize random strings of numbers or phrases. At that age, my DS was learning some basic Bible verses or truths that applied to him in his life. So while a little memorization may be good for young kids, you need to make it meaningful for him rather than just random information that he can't use.

[Haiku]

he has no interest in schoolwork at all.

 

Why should he? He's 4. Let him play.

 

The best way to kill a love of learning is to force kids to do school when it's not developmentally appropriate for them to do so.

 

Tara

[Jami]

All I make him do is 15 minutes a day of memory work - rote memorization of a history sentence, math facts, sometimes science or latin, if it's easy. He likes the other stuff he does - actually loves HWoT, and enjoys doing the map facts, like states and capitals. That's it! So please don't judge me and think I'm drilling my son endlessly...I'm not. But since he is a part of CC, it is something he is expected to do, and the tutor reviews the info with him in class every week, so he kind of has to know it.

 

 

 

 

My Not-so-humble opinion:

 

Having a 4 year old memorize these things that mean nothing to him and have no context for him is ridiculous.

 

Spend 15 min. memorizing lovely poems, songs, rhymes, *maybe* skip counting and ditch the CC.

 

You could be filling his mind and soul with beautiful, meaningful poetry and images, songs that help his mind develop, culturally meaningful rhymes and stories.

 

Or don't even require it to be memorized. Singing together, reading together, chanting lovely rhymes together--children naturally memorize, but *meaningful* memorization is important to.