My turn for a WWYD?

[Tigger]

My MIL was recently (six weeks ago) diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer - her prognosis is 4-6 months and she's already rapidly declining. With DH's schedule for work, he doesn't have much time to take on the tasks that need to be done (paying bills for his parents, coordinating in-home care providers, taking MIL to chemotherapy, making sure there are groceries, etc.), so much of that has fallen on my shoulders. ETA: FIL is very frail himself and not able to do anything that needs to be done and already has his own team of in-home care providers for his needs.

 

The time involved is seriously crimping our homeschool schedule and I'm trying to figure out what's best to do right now so I don't burn out!

 

My options are:

 

1. Reduce HS to just reading, language arts and math (ETA: review worksheets, no new lessons) to free up more time to take care of all the things we need to take care of for the inlaws

 

2. Reduce direct instruction and seatwork with me to just LA, Reading and Math and go with videos for science, history and other things like geography so DS at least has something in all areas

 

3. Keep doing what we're doing and suck it up, it's only 4-6 months, I can get sleep at a later date

 

4. Other?

Edited January 24, 2012 by Tigger

[gardening momma]

I'd go with #1 and add videos in from #2 if you want to.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Your oldest is only 7? Number 1 or 2 would be perfectly acceptable.

[*Inna*]

I'm sorry about your MIL. :grouphug:

 

I would go with option two, but be open for option one. Definitely not a full load.

[Lucy the Valiant]

I vote A or B - you only get one last chance with the people you love, and sometimes life lessons (i.e., as your son watches you navigate these hard days) are more important than staying on track with Singapore math, kwim?

 

If you get a slow day, do a fun science experiment and consider it a big bonus. Listen to books on audio.

 

Hugs to you.

[Pink Fairy]

I vote for number one. A 7yo should be fine with the basics, and even full schooling only took us a couple of hours in 2nd grade.

 

Sorry about your mil. :grouphug:

[Rivka]

I would recommend 1, or 1-minus. (1-minus would be "reading and math when we get to them, and an absence of guilt when we don't.") Sure, have some science videos you can throw in when your son is bored, but don't try to plan, assign, or keep up.

 

I think the curriculum you are focusing on now is "how we care for the people we love when the hardest of hard times hit." It's one of the most important lessons that anyone can learn. Your DS will be watching and learning.

 

Best wishes to you all. :grouphug:

[JudoMom]

I would recommend 1, or 1-minus. (1-minus would be "reading and math when we get to them, and an absence of guilt when we don't.") Sure, have some science videos you can throw in when your son is bored, but don't try to plan, assign, or keep up.

 

I think the curriculum you are focusing on now is "how we care for the people we love when the hardest of hard times hit." It's one of the most important lessons that anyone can learn. Your DS will be watching and learning.

 

Best wishes to you all. :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

 

:grouphug:

[Catwoman]

I'd choose Option #1 -- and as Rivka said, don't feel guilty if you don't do any school at all sometimes. It's not like your son is scheduled to take the SATs next weekend, so a few months of "no school" isn't going to be a big deal in the long run.

 

Give yourself a break and only cover the essentials, whenever you feel up to it.

 

If you have your ds watch videos for other subjects, that will still eat away at your time. It's different if he can do that sort of thing while you're doing things for your MIL, but if you're sitting around waiting to leave the house while DS is finishing up with a video, you'll just be adding a lot of stress to an already tough time.

 

I have BTDT, and believe me, you don't need any more stress than you already have, so please don't try to "suck it up" and continue as if everything was normal. Do what you need to do for your MIL, and catch up with the schoolwork later.

 

Also, is your ds close to your MIL? If so, spending time with her is more important than schoolwork right now.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Edited January 24, 2012 by Catwoman

[KatieJ]

I would recommend 1, or 1-minus. (1-minus would be "reading and math when we get to them, and an absence of guilt when we don't.") Sure, have some science videos you can throw in when your son is bored, but don't try to plan, assign, or keep up.

 

I think the curriculum you are focusing on now is "how we care for the people we love when the hardest of hard times hit." It's one of the most important lessons that anyone can learn. Your DS will be watching and learning.

 

Best wishes to you all. :grouphug:

 

:iagree::grouphug:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'd go with #1. You will have time later to catch up on the other stuff with your son.

 

I'm sorry you are having to go through all of this. :grouphug:

[cindergretta]

I would recommend 1, or 1-minus. (1-minus would be "reading and math when we get to them, and an absence of guilt when we don't.") Sure, have some science videos you can throw in when your son is bored, but don't try to plan, assign, or keep up.

 

I think the curriculum you are focusing on now is "how we care for the people we love when the hardest of hard times hit." It's one of the most important lessons that anyone can learn. Your DS will be watching and learning.

 

Best wishes to you all. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: :grouphug:

[MorganClassicalPrep]

:grouphug::grouphug: I just lost my father to pancreatic cancer, so sorry for what you and your family are going through.

 

Do what you can, when you can. Focus on the fundamentals, and when you have the time, inclination, or desire, add in little extras. On top of all the "things" that need doing, remember that it will take an emotional toll on everyone also. You may crave the routine, or need to ignore schoolwork for days at a time. Either way, do what works for your family at this time. At 7, there is plenty of time to catch up to whatever is missed in the next couple months.

[higginszoo]

I agree with 1 minus, only adding in the videos from part two when you need something constructive to keep him occupied while you get other stuff done.

[Scarlett]

I would recommend 1, or 1-minus. (1-minus would be "reading and math when we get to them, and an absence of guilt when we don't.") Sure, have some science videos you can throw in when your son is bored, but don't try to plan, assign, or keep up.

 

I think the curriculum you are focusing on now is "how we care for the people we love when the hardest of hard times hit." It's one of the most important lessons that anyone can learn. Your DS will be watching and learning.

 

Best wishes to you all. :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

[Tigger]

Thanks so much everyone....it really is pretty overwhelming. I discussed with DH too and he agrees, do reading - if we get in some math worksheets, great, if not, so be it, we'll catch up later; and catch up with everything else; we just don't want DS to lose ground with reading now that he's actually gaining fluency.

 

To the poster that asked - DS right now is a bit afraid to be around his grandma, she's changed quite a bit in the last six weeks (lost almost 40 pounds and is now very, very thin - she wasn't heavy at all to begin with and she's having a bit of confusion added to her burden from all the drugs), so we're encouraging him but not making him when he resists seeing her. We have a pt nanny for the kids when I need to go do things for them (and watch baby when I homeschool) for when he doesn't want to go with me.

[tex-mex]

I am sorry to hear of this. :grouphug:

 

We lost my MIL this past summer to cancer and we had to postpone much of April-June homeschooling just to be there for her at the hospital, home, and hospice. Then the months of July-August were funeral, writing thank yous, organizing her bills, cleaning, cooking, etc. I think by the time we came home (we were out of state) was October and I just was exhausted.

 

Do what realistically you can do. The kids are young. It will not hurt them to have some "gaps" academically. You will be able to cover it next year. In the meantime, you will be needed for the family as you have the biggest job as mom/administrator/cook/cleaner/bottlewasher/homeschooler... be flexible and don't beat yourself up if homeschooling gets misplaced.

[tex-mex]

 

To the poster that asked - DS right now is a bit afraid to be around his grandma, she's changed quite a bit in the last six weeks (lost almost 40 pounds and is now very, very thin - she wasn't heavy at all to begin with and she's having a bit of confusion added to her burden from all the drugs), so we're encouraging him but not making him when he resists seeing her. We have a pt nanny for the kids when I need to go do things for them (and watch baby when I homeschool) for when he doesn't want to go with me.

This will be the hardest for the grandkids.

 

My teen son, who is Aspergery/NVLD, at age 16, was freaked out to have grandma at her home for her last days. It was too much for him to see her like that and we had to work on that issue with patience and love.

 

I love the idea of the nanny to help out as that will be a great distraction for the kids. Have her plan trips to the library or park. They will be dealing with the stress also.

[Rosie_0801]

3. Keep doing what we're doing and suck it up, it's only 4-6 months, I can get sleep at a later date

 

Absolutely not. Making yourself ill is not a noble thing to do. :grouphug:

 

We're going through similar here and I agree with what Rivka said.

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

Rosie

[ThisIsTheDay]

The time involved is seriously crimping our homeschool schedule and I'm trying to figure out what's best to do right now so I don't burn out!

 

My options are:

 

1. Reduce HS to just reading, language arts and math (ETA: review worksheets, no new lessons) to free up more time to take care of all the things we need to take care of for the inlaws

 

2. Reduce direct instruction and seatwork with me to just LA, Reading and Math and go with videos for science, history and other things like geography so DS at least has something in all areas

 

I would cut back and do a combination of 1 and 2. I'd try to keep up with the reading, LA and math. (Why not do new math lessons, or at least lessons 3x a week?) Do whatever you consider to be the minimum, but I'd consider reading aloud to be a bonding time with your kids, so I'd be reluctant to give up any time on that.

 

My struggle would be finding things to occupy my kids while otherwise tending to in-laws. Computer games, Magic School Bus, any kind of coloring/art, Lego/building projects would be on my priority list.

 

Your mil's quick decline sounds similar to my aunt's two years ago. Ds and I traveled out of state to visit right before we moved, because we could squeeze in the time. My dad visited the following week, and she passed while he was there. We were expecting her to last a few more months, and I will never regret that trip.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

What a blessing that you are available.

 

When people have new babies and their hsing schedule slips, I encourage them that the baby IS the lesson. Your situation mirrors that, in that your children's grandparents are the lesson. The time you spend now will go a long way in modeling to your kids the value of family, of relationships. If your schooling slips for a few months, you'll more than make up for it in other ways, AND the schooling will catch back up as time passes.

 

I'm sorry you have to all go through this.

[FriedClams]

I vote for number one. A 7yo should be fine with the basics, and even full schooling only took us a couple of hours in 2nd grade.

 

Sorry about your mil. :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

[elfgivas]

:grouphug: i'm so sorry. pancreatic cancer is so tough, hurts so much, and progresses so quickly. :grouphug:

 

dh's father was diagnosed in may a few years ago, and died less than three months later. looking back, i am so thankful that we just stopped everything and were with him. we did a lot of art in those days, as it helped dds process what was going on.... the little school we did was more to help everyone feel anchored somehow, rather than any attempt at accomplishing much academically.

 

we read aloud, read silently, did singapore math, as it was only about 20 minutes a day at that point, and i could just pick it up and do it. and cuddled and sang and drew and baked whatever he wanted (even if he didn't want it later on)..... really, we nested, and it was as loving and peaceful an end of life as any of us could wish for, just way, way too soon.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

ann

[justasque]

I would recommend 1, or 1-minus. (1-minus would be "reading and math when we get to them, and an absence of guilt when we don't.") Sure, have some science videos you can throw in when your son is bored, but don't try to plan, assign, or keep up.

 

I think the curriculum you are focusing on now is "how we care for the people we love when the hardest of hard times hit." It's one of the most important lessons that anyone can learn. Your DS will be watching and learning.

 

Best wishes to you all. :grouphug:

 

:iagree:

 

1. Read when you can.

 

2. Involve ds when possible in your work. For example, have him cook with you.

 

3. Try to go to the library at least every other week. You'll get fresh books, and you can pick a topic or two every time, which will fill in other subjects. Like get a few books on snow/winter/Antarctica/tundra animals - that gets you weather (science), geography, animals/habitats (science), perhaps something about arctic explorers (history), and so on. Or get a few books on transportation - history of, how car engines work, fancy car styles, specialized trucks, stories involving cars or trains or boats, etc. Unit studies like this will help you have *some* content/growth, but leave them free-flowing and unstructured. Don't overthink or overplan this. Let it happen organically. Get more books than you need so you can pick and choose what's useful at the time. Some will go unread; that's perfectly OK.

 

4. Choose a few books ds can read to you, and a few you can read to ds. Listening to books is all about language structure, vocabulary, grammar - laying the foundation for later more formal study of these things.

 

5. Encourage ds to play with LEGO and other building toys. This builds a really useful foundation for math skills down the line. Also, keep a deck of cards or some dice in your bag, and pull them out when you must wait somewhere (for doc appts, etc.). Again, lots of foundational math experiences in games.

 

6. Most important - as Rivka said, no guilt at all if you can't do any of this. Your ds will learn that supporting family comes first. It's an important lesson.

[Shellers]

I'd go with #1. You will have time later to catch up on the other stuff with your son.

 

I'm sorry you are having to go through all of this. :grouphug:

 

I agree.

[Forget-Me-Not]

:grouphug:

Do what you can. Worry about the rest later. The lesson your son learns about love and compassion will be far more important than any schoolwork during this time.

 

I'm so very sorry.

[sbgrace]

:grouphug: I think your plan to keep up with reading and let the rest fall where it may is best. School isn't the important thing right now. I'm sorry you're facing this. :grouphug:

[sandellie4]

I'm so sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Sandy

[J-rap]

I'm sorry...what a difficult time. I'd just do what you can regarding schooling, and get lots of educational videos -- Magic School Bus, National Geographic, etc. Taking care of those you love takes priority. It is a lesson in itself.

 

Last year when we thought my husband might be dying, and then followed him around the country while he was in various rehab facilities, we put a lot of things on hold for my two high schoolers. Even if it meant adding an extra year at the end, it would have been okay. But, your kids are young enough that they'll be able to catch up easily.

[SonshineLearner]

School House Rock shows, Liberty Kids...etc... Lots of patience for yourself... and you need to just take it easy. Eat chocolate!! ;) Make videos if possible, record memories on paper, etc. Your kids will be fine if you just care for their physical and mental health, and don't expect much else from everyone....

 

Sorry about your MIL :(

[happypamama]

I vote for reading when you can and adding some interesting educational videos (and maybe computer games) when needed, especially if you're in a state that will balk if you don't mention doing *something* related to science and history. I'd let everything else go.

 

I am so sorry about your MIL.

Edited January 24, 2012 by happypamama

[Denise in IN]

I'm very sorry about your MIL. :grouphug:

 

I would definitely say #1 or less. I would do the bare bones basics: Math, Phonics, maybe spelling or writing. And I would stick with one thing that you can read aloud and enjoy together, probably SOTW or just a good book.

 

Get books from the library that he can read/look at on his own. Get videos if you have time. Have him do phonics and math review games on the computer.

 

Your little guy is young, and he will have plenty of time to do all the other subjects! You are not likely to regret setting aside those things to serve your in-laws.